Hi, I'm Dr. Kim, and
welcome to Live to be Well.
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I say to myself all the time,
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"I'm not going
to let go of God."
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I'm not gonna
let go of my family,
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not let go of what
God has given me to do.
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Today, I'm blessed to
have Pastor Garth Gabriel,
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the Pastor of the Conant Gardens
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Seventh-day Adventist Church.
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Amen. In Detroit, Michigan.
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Welcome, Pastor, how are you?
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It's great to be
here. I'm doing great.
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You're doing great,
you gonna behave yourself.
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I'm gonna try to
make this through.
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You are gonna make it through?
I'm gonna make it through.
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Okay, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna behave myself.
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Well, I just want to
thank you for coming on.
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It's my pleasure. I praise God.
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We want to just talk
about not letting go.
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You are not letting go of
God, your calling on your life,
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your family, you are committed
to your wife, your children,
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your
grandchildren, your community.
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You know, why are
you not letting go?
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You have so many hats you wear.
So why not let something go?
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There is so much to lose
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even when you let go of
things that might seem minute,
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because I believe
that God has the ability
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to create in us a gift
to do different things,
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and to bless different people.
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So it's a
difficult thing to let go
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when once you
start at something.
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It's easy for
lot of people to do,
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but it's always not
the right thing to do.
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That's it.
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The Bible says, "He'll
make room for your gifts".
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Yes, indeed.
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And, you know, and you sing,
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I remember being
at Oakwood College,
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and I saw this group
The Heritage Singers.
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Oh, yeah.
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And there was one
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African-American,
was it just one?
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Good looking, good looking guy.
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You want me to
put that in there?
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Yeah, yeah. Good
looking, African-American.
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And I'm like, you
know, "Who are these people
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coming to sing at Oakwood,"
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I know they want
to give us diversity,
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but well, you know,
so I was like, "Okay",
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but then I want to, in
fact you found a wife there.
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Found my wife at Oakwood.
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Yes, and didn't attend
Oakwood. Didn't attend.
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You did attend
Atlantic Union College.
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I went to The Great
Atlantic Union College.
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Did you say The
Great Atlantic...
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The Great
Atlantic Union College.
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Oh, my. Great
people, great people.
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Great people, well,
look at you, great people.
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Well, you are so kind.
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Ah, yeah, I'm
being kind right now.
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So you make your wife
there, how did you meet her?
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I was sent to audition singers,
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and I don't know if
you remember Dunbar Henri?
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Yes, yes.
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Dunbar is a
Heritage singer... Yes.
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And he said, "Well, I
have a couple singers for you
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to meet that
you're going to like."
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And sure enough he
brought my wife Rosie
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to valentine back then to sing.
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And I listened to her and
said, "Yeah, that's the one."
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But I was only
interested in the voice.
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Okay at that time, the voice.
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"No, right, Kim,
right, Kim," okay.
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And she sang... Yeah.
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And we asked her to join.
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About three, four
months later, and she came out,
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came out to California.
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Came to California? Yeah.
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So how did this marriage begin?
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When Rosie did join
the Heritage Singers,
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of course, we
travel together on a bus.
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We lived on the bus, men
and women lived on the bus.
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And we had a
family type atmosphere,
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of course, you
know, we stayed in hotels
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on weekends in those
days, and in people's homes
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so the ladies
would be in one home,
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the men would be in other.
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It was quite nice.
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We enjoyed good home
cooking from those days,
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now every night's a hotel.
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Things have changed.
But I miss those days.
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But it gave an
opportunity for me
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to really talk to
my wife, you know,
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especially on
those long bus rides
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from city to city,
and understand her,
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understand her background,
and understand her family,
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really great family.
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And so it was an easy
decision when that time came.
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Oh, blessing.
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How many children do you have?
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We have four children.
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And the reason I
hesitated, we actually had five,
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we lost one when we first
moved to the Detroit in 1986.
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I didn't know that.
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Yes, yes, and she was actually,
almost nine months pregnant
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and we lost him,
a little Romaine.
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And so he's buried
at Mound and Davison
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at the cemetery there.
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So we still go
from time to time,
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but we have four
children, and love them.
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You have, you
dealt with a few of them.
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Yes, yes, yes.
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And how many grandchildren?
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Two grandchildren.
Two grandchildren.
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I know, you're saying,
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how could I look so
young, like I know...
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, right,
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I can't believe
you're grandfather.
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I can't believe it either.
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Okay, moving
right along. So now...
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So you were AUC, what
were you studying in school?
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I studied
behavioral science, psychology,
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sociology, and I
minored in theology.
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Really? Yes, yes.
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So when you went to Kansas City,
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were you a pastor there?
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No, no, no. Okay,
well, tell us about that?
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When we moved to
Kansas City in 1982,
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Pastor Randy Stafford,
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who was your pastor at one time.
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He was our pastor, and he said,
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"Garth, I'm going
to make you an elder."
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Being an elder,
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pastor was the
farthest thing from my mind.
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And became an
elder, and he ordained me,
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and things happened after that.
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So how did you come to be
in the Lake Region Conference
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in Detroit?
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I was, my wife, we
were in business together.
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When we moved here, I had
a million dollar business,
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and we were, you know,
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we're doing pretty, pretty well.
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And believe it or
not I, one morning,
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and it's almost
that Jonah experience
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that Larry Keith talked
about, I just had this urge
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to do something for the Lord.
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We were very successful
in what we were doing.
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As a matter of
fact, unbeknownst to you,
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and I don't know if I
ever told you this before.
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But one of our clients happened
to be one of your clients,
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and they spoke...
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This is it in about 1988-89,
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and he spoke very highly of you.
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Because he heard
Seventh-day Adventist.
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He says, "I have a
Seventh-day Adventist friend,"
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and you were, I guess,
counseling in the school,
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and so I knew
about you even back then
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because we didn't, we
didn't attend the same church.
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Same church, no, no.
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So I gave God a
challenge, I said, "God,
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if you want me to leave business
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and get into ministry,
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you're gonna have to do
something to prove it to me."
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You know, usually God ask
us to prove but I asked God,
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you know, I want
you to prove it to me
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what you wanted.
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And so we planted a
church in Lathrup village,
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the Community Fellowship
Seventh-day Adventist Church,
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went there, just my family.
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I was preaching to five of them.
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Just five people?
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Yeah, just five,
started with five, and then six,
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and then seven, and then eight.
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And God just
blessed the ministry,
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blessed the
planting of the church.
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And when we left there in 2006,
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we had about 250
people attending.
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So now, how did it
become under the conference
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because this was, you
know, a planted church...
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Right.
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So and then they,
then they picked you
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because you were not a
pastor within the conference.
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Exactly. So how did that happen?
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Dr. Miles, our
president at the time,
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I stayed in constant contact
with him, and he said that,
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"If you would like
to join the conference,"
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he said, "we have
procedures that we follow."
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And he laid out
those procedures for me.
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He said, "We
need a parent church."
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And by the way, the Ypsilanti
Seventh-day Adventist Church
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became our parent church
under pastor Ralph Shelton.
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After that, we just,
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we were voted
into the conference,
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and shortly after
that they asked me
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to be a full time pastor.
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Wow, God showed
up and showed out.
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Showed out.
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Didn't plan on it, did
not plan on doing this.
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Oh, my goodness, how long
have you been in ministry now?
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Almost 20 years.
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What? Yeah.
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Have you been
20? Almost 20 years.
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You know... Yeah.
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And I've known you
since, of course...
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Yeah.
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The community fellowship. Right.
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Of course, over
at Coney gardens.
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And then having
a good relationship
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with you, and your family.
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The girls were in
the hands of praise.
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Those girls, you were excellent.
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Oh.
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You taught them so
much and they use it today.
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I have to tell you though. Yes.
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You taught them
sign language. Yes.
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And they would
often speak in the house
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when they didn't
want me to know anything.
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They use sign language.
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They use the sign language.
So I thank you for that.
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Oh, you're very
welcome, you're very welcome.
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And I remember
this stage presence
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'cause remember, we
do concerts all over...
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And they, Gabriel
girls, and, oh, my goodness,
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your daughter Erika
being in the Aeolians.
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Oh, just amazing
voice. Thank you.
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How are they
doing, you know, because
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Quinn just got his
master's from Oakwood.
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Yes, yes, her
husband Quinton as well.
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And they're pastoring in Texas.
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Yes, they are
in Texas right now,
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probably gonna go
through some changes
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'cause being a pastor, you know,
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they may be relocating.
00:10:00.86\00:10:02.60
So we're praying, pray for
them because they need prayers
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as to which
direction God is leading them.
00:10:06.43\00:10:10.07
Wouldn't it be
wonderful to have him come back
00:10:10.11\00:10:12.01
and co-pastor with you?
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That would be awesome.
00:10:13.41\00:10:14.74
I know you would love to
have your baby girl here.
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I would, I would love it.
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You know, do you babysit?
00:10:17.51\00:10:20.02
I don't consider taking
care of my grandchildren,
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babysitting.
00:10:23.12\00:10:24.45
Okay.
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I think, they babysit me.
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Oh, my Lord, and
you know, you know what,
00:10:27.22\00:10:29.72
you need some oil right now
00:10:29.76\00:10:32.96
'cause you're
probably dozing out.
00:10:32.99\00:10:34.43
I doze out, and I wake up,
and they are looking at me.
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Like, "You are supposed
to be taking care of us."
00:10:39.83\00:10:41.44
I know, I know, I know. Okay.
00:10:41.47\00:10:44.17
Marriage, your relationship,
00:10:44.21\00:10:46.11
how do you enjoy
marriage and balance a ministry?
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That's a very difficult question
00:10:51.71\00:10:55.48
because ministry has taken
00:10:55.52\00:10:57.59
such an integral part of my life
00:10:57.62\00:11:01.32
that oft times
your home suffers.
00:11:01.36\00:11:03.26
A lot of
ministers go through that.
00:11:03.29\00:11:04.93
So I'm guilty.
00:11:04.96\00:11:06.80
A lot of my members say,
00:11:06.83\00:11:08.16
"Have you talked to your family?
00:11:08.20\00:11:09.53
Have you taken your wife
out? Have you done that?"
00:11:09.56\00:11:11.50
And I'm so caught
up in doing church,
00:11:11.53\00:11:14.80
the church's
ministry that I often neglect.
00:11:14.84\00:11:17.61
I'm being upfront.
Yeah, be transparent.
00:11:17.64\00:11:19.41
Yeah, I'm being
very transparent.
00:11:19.44\00:11:20.78
Yeah, that would
help someone else.
00:11:20.81\00:11:22.14
But I'm doing a lot
better. You're doing better.
00:11:22.18\00:11:23.55
Oh yeah, I have members on
me who make sure that I do.
00:11:23.58\00:11:26.48
You do date night?
00:11:26.51\00:11:27.85
Yeah, we do, we go out, we
do date days a lot of times.
00:11:27.88\00:11:31.65
So we would go out to
restaurants, you know,
00:11:31.69\00:11:34.09
take off during the day,
in the middle of the day,
00:11:34.12\00:11:36.86
and we just had a date
night on this past Tuesday.
00:11:36.89\00:11:41.76
Tuesday?
00:11:41.80\00:11:43.13
'Cause all the children
are gone, the baby is home.
00:11:43.16\00:11:44.70
Yeah, the baby is home.
Goth, how old is he now?
00:11:44.73\00:11:46.94
He's 20 years old. What?
00:11:46.97\00:11:49.07
One more year at Oakwood.
00:11:49.10\00:11:51.31
One more. What's his major?
00:11:51.34\00:11:52.97
He's doing political science.
00:11:53.01\00:11:54.41
What? One more year?
00:11:54.44\00:11:55.94
Yes, yes, but, you
know, his passion...
00:11:55.98\00:11:59.15
Yes. Is the guitar.
00:11:59.18\00:12:00.52
Is it? And he plays...
00:12:00.55\00:12:01.88
He plays for
church? He plays for church.
00:12:01.92\00:12:03.25
He plays guitar
and... I haven't heard him.
00:12:03.28\00:12:04.72
He's pretty good.
00:12:04.75\00:12:06.12
That is really wonderful,
00:12:06.15\00:12:07.49
you include him in
the service like that.
00:12:07.52\00:12:08.86
Yes, all of, all of my children.
00:12:08.89\00:12:11.13
What is happening to
our inner city relationships
00:12:11.16\00:12:15.23
with our youth today?
00:12:15.26\00:12:16.60
Where are our
youth in the church?
00:12:16.63\00:12:18.13
What's happening?
00:12:18.17\00:12:20.00
We have prayed, we
have looked at data
00:12:20.04\00:12:24.01
as to why young people
are leaving the church,
00:12:24.04\00:12:28.34
and why is it
even in the inner city
00:12:28.38\00:12:30.45
we can't draw more people to us?
00:12:30.48\00:12:32.45
You know, I...
00:12:32.48\00:12:35.15
That is a very
difficult proposition.
00:12:35.18\00:12:38.39
It's good, I think,
to look at, you know,
00:12:38.42\00:12:41.49
the beast of Revelation 13,
or the harlot in Revelation 17,
00:12:41.52\00:12:47.00
and send those
pictures on posters,
00:12:47.03\00:12:48.93
but that does not really appeal
to people in the inner city.
00:12:48.96\00:12:53.74
You know, I don't, I can't speak
00:12:53.77\00:12:55.30
for the suburban communities
00:12:55.34\00:12:57.31
but I have come
to understand that
00:12:57.34\00:13:00.78
you need one on one meetings.
00:13:00.81\00:13:03.01
You need to
spend time with them.
00:13:03.04\00:13:05.51
And show them
you love them. Yes.
00:13:05.55\00:13:08.62
Feed them. Yes.
00:13:08.65\00:13:09.98
Take care of them. Yes.
00:13:10.02\00:13:11.35
And then you
bring on the Revelation
00:13:11.39\00:13:13.49
and the Daniel's.
00:13:13.52\00:13:14.86
But people aren't really
drawn, and I don't believe
00:13:14.89\00:13:17.09
we have enough
programs for our young people.
00:13:17.13\00:13:19.83
We need purpose
in the church. We do.
00:13:19.86\00:13:22.63
You know, if I have a
purpose, I'm gonna serve.
00:13:22.66\00:13:26.03
That's why, you know,
when the Lord put on my heart
00:13:26.07\00:13:28.57
with God's Hands
of Praise, I remember,
00:13:28.60\00:13:29.94
when a young lady approached
me after my oldest daughter
00:13:29.97\00:13:33.51
and I signed for
family life program,
00:13:33.54\00:13:36.11
and my pastor
didn't really understand,
00:13:36.14\00:13:38.21
he thought I was dance Minister.
00:13:38.25\00:13:39.58
I said, "No.
00:13:39.61\00:13:40.95
We use our hands." Right.
00:13:40.98\00:13:42.35
And we signed we
shall behold him.
00:13:42.38\00:13:46.29
After that this young lady,
00:13:46.32\00:13:47.89
the roof as City Temple fell in.
00:13:47.92\00:13:50.29
We had to go to
another church to use...
00:13:50.33\00:13:51.79
I remember that.
00:13:51.83\00:13:53.16
Remember that. Yes.
00:13:53.19\00:13:54.53
So this young lady tapped
me on the shoulder and said,
00:13:54.56\00:13:56.36
"You need to start a class."
00:13:56.40\00:13:57.73
I said, "Honey I'm too busy."
00:13:57.77\00:13:59.87
For like eight weeks,
00:13:59.90\00:14:02.27
she would ask me
to start a class.
00:14:02.30\00:14:04.64
One Sabbath, we
went to another church
00:14:04.67\00:14:06.31
so I could avoid her.
00:14:06.34\00:14:08.04
Came back, she was, you
know, in the back of me,
00:14:08.08\00:14:11.21
and she was like this.
00:14:11.25\00:14:13.18
She was like 13,
14, 13 years old.
00:14:13.21\00:14:15.92
And she looked at me, she
said, "God told me to tell you
00:14:15.95\00:14:19.35
to start a class,
00:14:19.39\00:14:21.59
and God will bless this class."
00:14:21.62\00:14:23.26
Wow.
00:14:23.29\00:14:24.63
And now 23 years
later, God's Hands of Praise.
00:14:24.66\00:14:28.16
And that was Meghan Prince King.
00:14:28.20\00:14:30.40
Oh, my goodness!
00:14:30.43\00:14:31.90
And she was just a
little bitty thing.
00:14:31.93\00:14:34.20
13 years old. I think, no.
00:14:34.24\00:14:35.57
She was eight. Oh,
she was eight at the time.
00:14:35.60\00:14:37.31
Eight years old. Okay, okay.
00:14:37.34\00:14:38.67
She said, "You have
to start this class."
00:14:38.71\00:14:41.24
And then the choir grew
from 8 to 28, to 38, to a 100,
00:14:41.28\00:14:45.71
you were at concerts.
00:14:45.75\00:14:47.75
And we would go
from church to church,
00:14:47.78\00:14:49.88
gave them a purpose.
00:14:49.92\00:14:51.49
We went to Bermuda,
went to Canada, Illinois,
00:14:51.52\00:14:54.46
but they will come to church
00:14:54.49\00:14:56.42
because we were a
part of the service,
00:14:56.46\00:14:58.79
and then they
wanted to be in church
00:14:58.83\00:15:00.66
'cause we were all together.
00:15:00.70\00:15:02.03
It gave them a purpose.
00:15:02.06\00:15:03.40
We need programs in
the church. I agree.
00:15:03.43\00:15:07.27
So what kind of
programs do we need to implement
00:15:07.30\00:15:10.31
in the church to help
our young people to feel like
00:15:10.34\00:15:12.84
they are part of the service?
00:15:12.87\00:15:14.98
And you and I have
worked together before...
00:15:15.01\00:15:17.31
We, you know, remember,
we bought Smokey and Foland.
00:15:17.35\00:15:19.11
Oh yes, yes.
00:15:19.15\00:15:20.55
And they've got to sign... Yes.
00:15:20.58\00:15:22.45
You know, things like
that, and I believe that
00:15:22.48\00:15:24.95
we need to have
effective Bible studies.
00:15:24.99\00:15:28.96
Interesting ways of, you know...
00:15:28.99\00:15:31.06
Just innovative
ways of incorporating
00:15:31.09\00:15:33.03
our young people.
00:15:33.06\00:15:34.60
In particular
into studying the Bible
00:15:34.63\00:15:36.90
and loving the Word of God.
00:15:36.93\00:15:38.63
And we have
fallen short somehow.
00:15:38.67\00:15:42.94
I don't know the
answer to many of ills
00:15:42.97\00:15:47.48
that we go
through, but we're praying.
00:15:47.51\00:15:49.94
We have an
excellent prayer team,
00:15:49.98\00:15:51.51
and we pray for our youth
every opportunity we have.
00:15:51.55\00:15:55.32
I think, having Chase
speaking at our church last week
00:15:55.35\00:15:58.52
brought out so many
of our young people.
00:15:58.55\00:16:00.09
He's 15, isn't he? Yes.
00:16:00.12\00:16:01.86
And then having them come hear
00:16:01.89\00:16:04.66
someone from their
age group preach...
00:16:04.69\00:16:06.63
That's right. We
need more of that.
00:16:06.66\00:16:08.36
Training our
young people... Yes.
00:16:08.40\00:16:10.37
We need to have
sewing classes, GED classes,
00:16:10.40\00:16:13.94
we need to have math class,
we have vacation Bible school.
00:16:13.97\00:16:16.81
Yes. But after a week it's over.
00:16:16.84\00:16:19.21
So we need to open up
more programs to the church,
00:16:19.24\00:16:22.94
I mean, to the community.
00:16:22.98\00:16:24.55
And that's what
builds our congregation.
00:16:24.58\00:16:26.68
Yeah.
00:16:26.72\00:16:28.05
You know, I did
something, Kim, a few years ago,
00:16:28.08\00:16:32.65
I wanted to go right
into the heart of the city
00:16:32.69\00:16:35.32
and you know, we
don't put tents up anymore.
00:16:35.36\00:16:37.16
No we don't do the tent efforts.
00:16:37.19\00:16:38.59
We don't, but I
decided to do it with it,
00:16:38.63\00:16:41.66
the Lord just said,
"Do something different."
00:16:41.70\00:16:44.07
And we planted a tent in
the middle of Holland Park
00:16:44.10\00:16:46.57
right in the center of Detroit,
and the drug dealers were there
00:16:46.60\00:16:50.77
that push us, you name
it, homeless folk were there,
00:16:50.81\00:16:55.24
and we spoke, I
preached for three weeks.
00:16:55.28\00:16:58.08
The first night
there were no lights.
00:16:58.11\00:16:59.98
No lights.
00:17:00.02\00:17:01.45
I preached in the
dark, and people were there,
00:17:01.48\00:17:03.39
they came out from
the shelters they came.
00:17:03.42\00:17:06.62
Brandon Dent, we talk
about Brandon all the time.
00:17:06.65\00:17:08.96
Brandon was my music
director with a young lady
00:17:08.99\00:17:11.59
called Lisa
Sameano, you know Lisa.
00:17:11.63\00:17:14.16
And we sang, and I preached
for three weeks, four weeks.
00:17:14.20\00:17:18.13
Four weeks!
00:17:18.17\00:17:19.50
And what was very
interesting, I asked,
00:17:19.53\00:17:23.27
we put up all of our
equipment, our sound equipment,
00:17:23.30\00:17:26.54
and I asked some of
the drug dealers, I said,
00:17:26.57\00:17:28.58
"Look, please take
care of our tent for us,
00:17:28.61\00:17:31.31
make sure that
everything is in place."
00:17:31.35\00:17:34.88
Four weeks, we never took a
microphone, an amplifier out,
00:17:34.92\00:17:39.79
and everything stayed
00:17:39.82\00:17:41.42
because they bought
into what we were doing.
00:17:41.46\00:17:44.39
And by God's grace, we baptized
over 60 people in four weeks.
00:17:44.43\00:17:48.10
What? Four weeks.
Going right into the city.
00:17:48.13\00:17:50.37
See there. God is good.
00:17:50.40\00:17:52.27
And they are hungry
for the Word of God.
00:17:52.30\00:17:53.64
They need it, it's out
there and they need it.
00:17:53.67\00:17:56.00
You look at our youth
today, they'll get into a gang,
00:17:56.04\00:17:59.01
they'll run away
from home because
00:17:59.04\00:18:00.58
they're looking
for acceptability,
00:18:00.61\00:18:03.88
they are looking for structure.
00:18:03.91\00:18:05.25
Yes, they are.
00:18:05.28\00:18:06.61
And if mom is on
drugs, dad is on drugs,
00:18:06.65\00:18:08.05
or dad is in prison, I
need someone to guide me
00:18:08.08\00:18:11.15
so I'll turn to the
gangs, and I'll go to anyone
00:18:11.19\00:18:14.72
that's going to help guide me.
00:18:14.76\00:18:16.09
That's right. Even if
it's negative guidance.
00:18:16.12\00:18:18.59
They're looking for some
type of structure to fit in.
00:18:18.63\00:18:22.00
I think, it's important that
00:18:22.03\00:18:24.03
we do still
have the usher board.
00:18:24.07\00:18:25.83
We need to put back
in place our AY program.
00:18:25.87\00:18:29.00
Adventist Youth Program. Yes.
00:18:29.04\00:18:30.94
I grew up with that.
00:18:30.97\00:18:32.31
I look forward, 5
o'clock in the afternoon,
00:18:32.34\00:18:34.44
we couldn't wait
to get back to church.
00:18:34.48\00:18:35.94
Right, that's right. You know...
00:18:35.98\00:18:37.38
We didn't go home.
00:18:37.41\00:18:38.75
We didn't, yeah,
right. We stayed.
00:18:38.78\00:18:40.28
Yes, we would have
fellowship dinners.
00:18:40.32\00:18:42.32
That's right. You know...
00:18:42.35\00:18:43.69
And then you stayed for a while.
00:18:43.72\00:18:45.05
We would have it at
least three times a month.
00:18:45.09\00:18:47.32
You know, Marshall
T. Kelly, you know,
00:18:47.36\00:18:48.92
T. Marshall
Kelly was my pastor...
00:18:48.96\00:18:50.76
And he was like,
we're having dinner...
00:18:50.79\00:18:53.70
James Parker,
Pastor Parker. Yes.
00:18:53.73\00:18:56.40
They wanted us to stay close.
00:18:56.43\00:18:58.83
And I remember we had
pastor there, I read you Bill.
00:18:58.87\00:19:02.10
Oh, yes. Bill Conan.
00:19:02.14\00:19:03.81
Bill Conan, his
wife, his first wife
00:19:03.84\00:19:07.74
did a class on
the Great Controversy,
00:19:07.78\00:19:11.98
and she mandated all the parents
00:19:12.01\00:19:14.52
bring the children back.
00:19:14.55\00:19:16.25
We would sit there like
this, I mean, it was unbearable.
00:19:16.28\00:19:22.52
But she would
allow us to get involved
00:19:22.56\00:19:27.40
by saying, "What
do you understand?
00:19:27.43\00:19:29.33
What you don't understand?"
00:19:29.36\00:19:31.07
And that's when
it became engaged.
00:19:31.10\00:19:32.43
You bought into it.
00:19:32.47\00:19:33.80
We bought into it. Yes.
00:19:33.84\00:19:35.17
But you can't just come
00:19:35.20\00:19:37.07
and just let the
young people just sit there.
00:19:37.11\00:19:39.41
You know, you know
I let the young people
00:19:39.44\00:19:40.78
direct the choir.
00:19:40.81\00:19:42.48
They lead out,
I didn't do solos,
00:19:42.51\00:19:45.78
and they were able
to bring suggestions.
00:19:45.81\00:19:48.05
Which song would you like to...
00:19:48.08\00:19:49.42
And then Arthur
and I would feed them.
00:19:49.45\00:19:51.49
Yes, you know,
you gotta have niche.
00:19:51.52\00:19:54.89
Well, I remember
with Hands of Praise,
00:19:54.92\00:19:56.83
sometimes it's my daughters,
they wouldn't eat at home
00:19:56.86\00:19:59.16
'cause they knew they
were going to be eating
00:19:59.19\00:20:00.53
at your home.
00:20:00.56\00:20:01.90
They're gonna eat good. Yes.
00:20:01.93\00:20:03.26
And I would sent Arthur to
grocery, we need spaghetti,
00:20:03.30\00:20:05.60
we need garlic bread,
we need A, B, C and D.
00:20:05.63\00:20:09.00
salad, we, they
would come, and I say,
00:20:09.04\00:20:11.44
"Now we're going
to eat," well, I say
00:20:11.47\00:20:13.27
"No, we're
gonna rehearse first."
00:20:13.31\00:20:14.84
And then we would stop and
eat, fellowship for a little bit
00:20:14.88\00:20:19.11
and get right back to rehearsal.
00:20:19.15\00:20:21.02
And they, you know, sometimes
00:20:21.05\00:20:22.52
they don't want to leave.
00:20:22.55\00:20:23.89
It'll be 9:30 and
they would still be there.
00:20:23.92\00:20:25.95
Yeah, I remember
because I used to pick them up.
00:20:25.99\00:20:28.12
You used to pick
them up. And daddy...
00:20:28.16\00:20:30.43
I say, "Where is your father?
00:20:30.46\00:20:31.79
Oh, I got a call, I'd say,
could you call your father?
00:20:31.83\00:20:34.20
I have to go to bed." You know.
00:20:34.23\00:20:36.20
I want you to keep him. No.
00:20:36.23\00:20:38.63
So we praise the
Lord, and no matter
00:20:38.67\00:20:40.70
what I asked of you
and your wife to do,
00:20:40.74\00:20:43.07
you were there,
you participated,
00:20:43.10\00:20:44.71
the members came
out to support us.
00:20:44.74\00:20:47.64
You just, you didn't
just teach them sign language,
00:20:47.68\00:20:51.15
you also taught them principles
that they would be able
00:20:51.18\00:20:53.68
to carry for the
rest of their lives.
00:20:53.72\00:20:55.62
Praise the Lord.
00:20:55.65\00:20:56.99
And you probably
did not understand it
00:20:57.02\00:20:59.19
even what the impact
that you had on their lives
00:20:59.22\00:21:01.59
and the other
members of sign language,
00:21:01.62\00:21:05.16
and we missed the
concerts, we miss it.
00:21:05.19\00:21:08.16
Well... But we have it in video.
00:21:08.20\00:21:09.56
Yeah, you have the videos.
We still look at the video.
00:21:09.60\00:21:11.17
But we're getting ready
for our 25th anniversary.
00:21:11.20\00:21:13.74
You're gonna have a big...
00:21:13.77\00:21:15.10
I'm having a big, you
know, I'm gonna do it big,
00:21:15.14\00:21:17.47
bring everybody back
from all over the country.
00:21:17.51\00:21:20.24
'Cause they are in New York,
California, Texas, Huntsville,
00:21:20.28\00:21:23.61
all of them would
come back together.
00:21:23.65\00:21:25.48
When you're going to do
that? That's going to be 2019.
00:21:25.51\00:21:31.15
We turned to
decide if it's going to be
00:21:31.19\00:21:33.49
in the fall, or the spring.
00:21:33.52\00:21:35.49
Okay.
00:21:35.52\00:21:36.86
That deserves
enough time to plan.
00:21:36.89\00:21:38.23
You know, not
Christmas time, the weather.
00:21:38.26\00:21:39.59
Oh, yeah, enough time
to plan. All right, great.
00:21:39.63\00:21:40.96
Everybody is coming in,
it's gonna be wonderful.
00:21:41.00\00:21:42.33
Can't wait.
00:21:42.36\00:21:43.70
And it's going to
be a whole weekend
00:21:43.73\00:21:45.07
of celebrations.
00:21:45.10\00:21:46.43
But also ministry,
00:21:46.47\00:21:47.80
those who are no
longer in the church.
00:21:47.84\00:21:49.44
It'll be a way of
bringing them back.
00:21:49.47\00:21:51.44
And we're going to, I'm
going to ask that if not,
00:21:51.47\00:21:55.58
I'm hoping that
we have a large place
00:21:55.61\00:21:58.65
to have our service,
00:21:58.68\00:22:00.22
and let them
know that we need you.
00:22:00.25\00:22:02.38
That's right.
00:22:02.42\00:22:03.75
God needs your
services, 'cause some of them
00:22:03.79\00:22:05.12
have left the church.
00:22:05.15\00:22:06.49
Yeah,
unfortunate. Unfortunately.
00:22:06.52\00:22:08.32
You know, why
haven't you let go?
00:22:08.36\00:22:10.99
You know, of just
being, pastors are divorcing.
00:22:11.03\00:22:15.26
You know, Pelk is bringing
me in to do a conference
00:22:15.30\00:22:19.23
for the pastors and their wives.
00:22:19.27\00:22:23.24
Pastors need help too.
00:22:23.27\00:22:25.71
A lot of us, sometimes we
need somebody we can trust,
00:22:25.74\00:22:28.38
somebody we can talk
to because everybody,
00:22:28.41\00:22:30.88
your members confide in you,
and you take on all this stuff,
00:22:30.91\00:22:34.58
you take it on and
you have to be discreet,
00:22:34.62\00:22:36.79
you can't tell anybody
else, you know, you have to,
00:22:36.82\00:22:39.59
and sometimes we hurt.
00:22:39.62\00:22:41.99
And so I'm not just
appealing for the young people
00:22:42.02\00:22:45.46
but sometimes the pastors
need a way of getting help too.
00:22:45.49\00:22:48.73
Yes, they do.
00:22:48.76\00:22:50.10
So it's
unfortunate that, you know,
00:22:50.13\00:22:52.00
we have divorced pastors,
00:22:52.03\00:22:54.30
or pastors who are
going through problems.
00:22:54.34\00:22:56.37
It's becoming
an epidemic. It is.
00:22:56.40\00:22:59.87
And I have a
pastor who just said
00:22:59.91\00:23:03.71
he doesn't understand,
00:23:03.75\00:23:05.95
came in to meet
with me for counseling.
00:23:05.98\00:23:07.85
Arthur and I, from
another conference,
00:23:07.88\00:23:10.65
and he just said,
"I don't understand
00:23:10.69\00:23:12.62
what I did wrong.
00:23:12.65\00:23:14.26
I'm a pastor, I love
my family, but, you know,
00:23:14.29\00:23:18.53
that my wife doesn't
want to do this anymore."
00:23:18.56\00:23:21.20
It is a lot of responsibility
to be a pastor's wife.
00:23:21.23\00:23:23.67
Pastor's wives,
they have it tough.
00:23:23.70\00:23:26.03
You know, I dated a pastor.
00:23:26.07\00:23:27.47
You did? Yeah.
00:23:27.50\00:23:28.90
What's his name?
I can't tell you.
00:23:28.94\00:23:31.61
He, you know, oh, I
can't put his name out there.
00:23:31.64\00:23:34.68
No, I know you
wouldn't, I know you wouldn't.
00:23:34.71\00:23:36.75
And we dated four years. Really?
00:23:36.78\00:23:39.55
And he came to me and
says, "I'm changing my major."
00:23:39.58\00:23:42.45
I said, "You're
changing your major to what?"
00:23:42.48\00:23:44.35
He said, "To
theology." I said, "We're done."
00:23:44.39\00:23:47.19
You, but see you
didn't do it right.
00:23:47.22\00:23:49.56
I knew that was
not my calling. Really?
00:23:49.59\00:23:51.93
I can't have folk
walking on my carpet.
00:23:51.96\00:23:54.60
Yeah. Fussing at my husband.
00:23:54.63\00:23:57.07
With sometimes
going to board meetings
00:23:57.10\00:23:58.43
or business meetings.
00:23:58.47\00:23:59.80
I would have been in
the board meeting, okay,
00:23:59.83\00:24:01.17
you in the board
meeting, excuse me,
00:24:01.20\00:24:02.64
why is your wife
in the board meeting?
00:24:02.67\00:24:04.57
You have to have thick skin.
00:24:04.61\00:24:05.94
I got to have thick... Oh.
00:24:05.97\00:24:07.31
Yeah, because
you can get it there.
00:24:07.34\00:24:09.48
'Cause even watching
Arthur being an elder.
00:24:09.51\00:24:11.58
Yeah. It was difficult.
00:24:11.61\00:24:12.95
Yeah.
00:24:12.98\00:24:14.32
You know, and we
both were on the board.
00:24:14.35\00:24:15.68
Satan will inflict things
00:24:15.72\00:24:19.49
and he forces his
way into any situation
00:24:19.52\00:24:22.56
that has the potential
to bring people to Christ.
00:24:22.59\00:24:25.76
He will find a way.
00:24:25.79\00:24:27.86
In your signing ministry... Yes.
00:24:27.90\00:24:29.73
In your church... Yes.
00:24:29.76\00:24:31.20
There's always
gonna be problems, always.
00:24:31.23\00:24:34.50
But we just have to
live above it, and expect it,
00:24:34.54\00:24:37.14
be prepared because
he's like a roaring lion...
00:24:37.17\00:24:39.54
Yes, he is. He is.
00:24:39.57\00:24:41.04
How do you and Rosie
to resolve your problems
00:24:41.08\00:24:43.04
when you get to a
point, what do you do?
00:24:43.08\00:24:45.05
How do you resolve it?
00:24:45.08\00:24:46.61
You know, we've been married
now for 30, almost 39 years.
00:24:46.65\00:24:50.19
What? Yeah.
00:24:50.22\00:24:51.65
Look at God.
00:24:51.69\00:24:53.02
Isn't that amazing? Look at God.
00:24:53.05\00:24:54.39
Yeah, so sometimes...
00:24:54.42\00:24:55.89
I'm just saying look at
God, she's still with you.
00:24:55.92\00:24:57.33
I know, I know. Praise the Lord.
00:24:57.36\00:24:59.39
Pray for her.
I'm praying for her.
00:24:59.43\00:25:02.73
We understand each
other to the point that
00:25:02.76\00:25:05.97
sometimes we don't
even have to say anything.
00:25:06.00\00:25:07.87
You know, you finish
each others sentences.
00:25:07.90\00:25:10.51
She didn't give you that look
00:25:10.54\00:25:11.87
when you go over time
in church, and you preach,
00:25:11.91\00:25:13.44
does she give
you that look like...
00:25:13.48\00:25:14.81
I get the look.
00:25:14.84\00:25:16.18
You get the
look? I get the look.
00:25:16.21\00:25:17.55
I tend not to go
too much, you know.
00:25:17.58\00:25:19.08
Do you look at her
when you're preaching?
00:25:19.11\00:25:20.75
You know, what I do,
she never knows my sermon
00:25:20.78\00:25:23.59
or anything except if
I ask about something.
00:25:23.62\00:25:27.39
I look at her
every now and again
00:25:27.42\00:25:30.39
but if I did
something that she thought was,
00:25:30.43\00:25:32.69
when I get home...
00:25:32.73\00:25:34.23
You are gonna get it.
00:25:34.26\00:25:35.60
She lets me
know, she lets me know.
00:25:35.63\00:25:37.83
I need that. Yes, yes.
00:25:37.87\00:25:39.30
I need that. Get that balance.
00:25:39.33\00:25:40.67
Yeah, yeah exactly.
00:25:40.70\00:25:42.04
So you cook, clean, wash? Ah!
00:25:42.07\00:25:43.97
You know, I tell my
church, this is really funny
00:25:44.01\00:25:46.51
because the 29th...
00:25:46.54\00:25:49.31
Everybody knows I
can't cook. You can't cook?
00:25:49.34\00:25:51.81
But I've been
pretending like I could.
00:25:51.85\00:25:53.95
So I told them that
the pastors and elders
00:25:53.98\00:25:56.12
are having a big
dinner on the 29th,
00:25:56.15\00:25:59.22
and I invite your friends,
and I'm going to be cooking,
00:25:59.25\00:26:02.42
and I told, I'll even do
some vegan stuff for you.
00:26:02.46\00:26:04.96
Yeah. I can't cook.
00:26:04.99\00:26:06.76
So what, so are
you having the dinner?
00:26:06.80\00:26:08.73
Yeah, we're
gonna have the dinner.
00:26:08.76\00:26:10.10
When is this, on the
29th, is this for everyone
00:26:10.13\00:26:12.07
or just for pastors?
00:26:12.10\00:26:13.44
Everyone,
Everybody. At your church?
00:26:13.47\00:26:14.80
At my church.
00:26:14.84\00:26:16.17
You can come and enjoy
00:26:16.20\00:26:17.54
'cause I'll probably
do a vegan dish for you.
00:26:17.57\00:26:19.24
That's all right, I think,
I got something to do that,
00:26:19.27\00:26:21.68
you know, I
think, I'm working a day.
00:26:21.71\00:26:24.75
But we're gonna
have a good time.
00:26:24.78\00:26:26.11
Really? The
pastors are not gonna cook.
00:26:26.15\00:26:27.62
I told them on Sabbath that
I'm going to make some juice.
00:26:27.65\00:26:30.42
You're going to do some juice.
00:26:30.45\00:26:31.79
I'll do... I'm good at that.
00:26:31.82\00:26:33.15
You know, so, you know,
we're down to about a minute.
00:26:33.19\00:26:35.92
All right, all right.
00:26:35.96\00:26:37.29
So closing
remarks to help someone
00:26:37.33\00:26:39.39
that you don't have to let go.
00:26:39.43\00:26:42.80
If you look
back over your lives,
00:26:42.83\00:26:45.53
if you look back at
how God has brought you
00:26:45.57\00:26:47.90
through certain situations,
it's a matter of fact,
00:26:47.94\00:26:50.44
the psalmist in
Psalm 13 asked a question,
00:26:50.47\00:26:54.01
when he felt that he
was being attacked by Saul.
00:26:54.04\00:27:00.85
He said, "How
long, O Lord, how long?"
00:27:00.88\00:27:03.95
In other words, you
know, how long am I going
00:27:03.99\00:27:06.25
to keep putting
up with this mess?
00:27:06.29\00:27:10.46
This thing that
I'm going through.
00:27:10.49\00:27:12.29
And then he
answers this question
00:27:12.33\00:27:14.46
by the time it gets to
verse 5 and 6, and he says,
00:27:14.50\00:27:16.87
"But I will trust in the Lord,
I will rejoice in the Lord."
00:27:16.90\00:27:19.80
So we need to remember
what God has done for us.
00:27:19.83\00:27:23.47
And then we can put our
total, complete trust in Him.
00:27:23.51\00:27:26.98
And He will bring it to
pass. He'll bring to pass.
00:27:27.01\00:27:30.01
My favorite
scripture Pastor, Psalms 34:1,
00:27:30.05\00:27:33.31
"I will bless
the Lord at all times
00:27:33.35\00:27:35.55
and His praise shall
continually be in my mouth."
00:27:35.58\00:27:38.69
You can't curse
God and bless Him
00:27:38.72\00:27:40.36
at the same time.
00:27:40.39\00:27:41.72
Pastor Gareth, I
want to thank you so much
00:27:41.76\00:27:43.79
for coming on Live to be Well.
00:27:43.83\00:27:45.43
Oh, God bless you.
Can you say that for me?
00:27:45.46\00:27:46.90
Live to be Well. Say it again.
00:27:46.93\00:27:48.93
Live to be Well. With Dr. Kim.
00:27:48.96\00:27:51.80
Okay, all right.
00:27:51.83\00:27:53.17
Live to be Well with Dr. Kim.
00:27:53.20\00:27:54.80
I love it. My friend.
00:27:54.84\00:27:56.27
That's right, and I just
want to thank all of you,
00:27:56.30\00:27:58.47
never let go.
00:27:58.51\00:27:59.97
I'm Dr. Kim.
00:28:00.01\00:28:01.34
Continue to Live
to be Well. God bless.
00:28:01.38\00:28:03.68