Hi, I'm Dr. Kim. 00:00:35.86\00:00:37.60 And welcome to, Live To Be Well. 00:00:37.63\00:00:40.40 I just want to ask you a question. 00:00:40.80\00:00:43.07 Have you ever wavered to the left? 00:00:43.17\00:00:45.94 To the right? 00:00:45.97\00:00:47.31 Well this morning we're going to talk about 00:00:47.34\00:00:49.41 going straight ahead. 00:00:49.61\00:00:50.95 I want to welcome my guests, Torre and Nila Belle. 00:00:50.98\00:00:54.68 Welcome to, Live To Be Well. How you doing? 00:00:54.72\00:00:57.22 - Good. How are you? - Doing well. 00:00:57.25\00:00:58.59 Good, good. You a little nervous? 00:00:58.62\00:01:00.72 Yeah. 00:01:00.76\00:01:02.09 You are just fine. 00:01:02.69\00:01:04.43 Well you know, when I talked to you a couple of weeks ago, Nila, 00:01:04.46\00:01:08.53 I asked you to give me a topic. 00:01:09.30\00:01:11.53 And I don't want to take credit for this. 00:01:11.57\00:01:13.27 You came up with, "Not to the left, not to the right, 00:01:13.30\00:01:16.44 but straight ahead." 00:01:16.47\00:01:17.81 Why that topic? 00:01:17.84\00:01:19.71 Well-being fifteen has a lot of temptations of 00:01:20.88\00:01:25.88 peer pressure and everything. 00:01:25.91\00:01:27.65 So some of my friends, like, make bad decisions. 00:01:28.02\00:01:31.95 So I'm always, like, kind of the leader of the group 00:01:31.99\00:01:36.19 that, like, always makes the right, well not always, 00:01:36.22\00:01:39.06 but, like, makes the right decisions and, like, leads 00:01:39.26\00:01:42.33 everyone to make the right decisions. 00:01:42.36\00:01:44.63 That's a blessing. 00:01:45.13\00:01:46.47 What type of pressures are you seeing in school, 00:01:46.50\00:01:51.77 or it could be church, or social media? 00:01:51.81\00:01:54.18 What kind of pressures, being fifteen? 00:01:54.21\00:01:56.48 Drugs, boys. 00:01:56.98\00:02:00.02 Yeah, that's like the main two. 00:02:02.02\00:02:04.15 The main two. So the drugs, boys. 00:02:04.19\00:02:06.69 And you're a pretty girl. 00:02:06.72\00:02:08.89 And so, what happens when a boy approaches you, you know? 00:02:08.92\00:02:11.99 Do they come correct? 00:02:12.19\00:02:13.90 Or you know, "What's your name?" 00:02:13.93\00:02:15.63 You know, because you're not going for that. 00:02:15.83\00:02:18.03 So what happens? 00:02:18.27\00:02:19.70 Well you know, they try to ease in. 00:02:19.90\00:02:22.64 Like they say, "Oh, you're cute." 00:02:22.67\00:02:24.91 Like, they're already telling you something you know. 00:02:24.94\00:02:27.51 Like, some boys, like, I don't want to say, holler at you, 00:02:30.61\00:02:35.92 but like, they try to get in your mind, and everything. 00:02:36.45\00:02:41.09 Have you ever had an incident where a young man 00:02:41.42\00:02:43.76 came up on you, try to touch you, or anything like that? 00:02:44.56\00:02:48.06 No, but I had... 00:02:48.36\00:02:50.30 Well, I had older men kind of do that. 00:02:50.33\00:02:53.70 Really? 00:02:53.74\00:02:55.07 Like, they're like, "Oh, you're very gorgeous." 00:02:55.10\00:02:57.57 And then they ask how old I am. 00:02:57.61\00:02:59.87 I say, "I'm fifteen." 00:03:00.08\00:03:01.68 And then, like, they kind of back up. 00:03:01.88\00:03:04.61 But they do not want to go to jail. 00:03:04.65\00:03:05.98 Yeah. But, yeah. That's the most... 00:03:06.01\00:03:08.98 What do you know about human trafficking? 00:03:09.02\00:03:11.49 Are you aware about, you know, knowledgeable about that? 00:03:11.52\00:03:14.39 - Yes. - Let's talk about that. 00:03:14.42\00:03:15.86 Okay, human trafficking, I know that, like, some people 00:03:15.89\00:03:23.47 take them on dates and like, probably, like, 00:03:23.50\00:03:26.20 drug their drinks, and like, put them in a car. 00:03:26.70\00:03:30.77 And like, they're in human trafficking. 00:03:30.81\00:03:34.61 And then they kidnap them, take them to other countries. 00:03:34.64\00:03:38.48 Families never see them again. 00:03:38.68\00:03:40.52 And so you have to be careful. You've got to be wise. 00:03:40.62\00:03:43.49 Now when you go to school, does your 00:03:43.52\00:03:45.29 mother and father drop you off? 00:03:45.32\00:03:47.09 ~ Yes. - You do. Okay. 00:03:47.12\00:03:48.46 And then they pick you up? 00:03:48.49\00:03:49.92 - No, I walk home. - You walk home. 00:03:50.13\00:03:52.76 Man, those days are over, huh? 00:03:53.60\00:03:57.17 So, but you're very careful. 00:03:57.20\00:03:58.90 You know not to speak to strangers. 00:03:58.93\00:04:00.84 Yeah, I walk with my brother. 00:04:00.87\00:04:02.20 Oh okay, so you have a brother. 00:04:02.24\00:04:03.57 - How old is your brother? - He's seventeen. 00:04:03.61\00:04:05.01 Is he very protective over you? 00:04:05.04\00:04:06.51 - Yes! - Really? Oooh, okay. 00:04:06.54\00:04:09.54 So if someone tries to talk to you, is he right there? 00:04:09.58\00:04:12.65 - So you're at the same school. - Mm-hmm. 00:04:12.98\00:04:14.68 Alright, do you see him in the corridors or hallways of the 00:04:14.72\00:04:18.15 school in between classes? 00:04:18.19\00:04:19.52 I see him about three times a day. 00:04:19.55\00:04:21.32 Okay, what does he say to you, you know? 00:04:21.36\00:04:23.06 Like, "Are you okay?" "Who's messing with you?" 00:04:23.09\00:04:26.09 - Awww. - Yeah, so he's very... 00:04:26.13\00:04:27.86 Because you're in what grade? 00:04:27.90\00:04:29.23 - I'm in tenth now. - Tenth grade, aw. 00:04:29.26\00:04:31.40 Are you looking forward to going into... 00:04:31.43\00:04:33.54 Are you going into the tenth grade? 00:04:33.57\00:04:34.94 Yes, I'm going into the tenth grade. 00:04:34.97\00:04:36.30 Oh, sophomore. I remember those days. 00:04:36.34\00:04:38.01 You know, it wasn't that long ago, alright. 00:04:38.41\00:04:40.68 People may think so, but it wasn't, alright. 00:04:40.78\00:04:42.98 So are you on a cheer team? Are you in orchestra? Choir? 00:04:43.95\00:04:48.42 In our day we called it, Glee Club. 00:04:48.45\00:04:50.65 - Glee Club? - Oh, look at you. Glee Club? 00:04:50.69\00:04:53.36 Yeah, we had Home Ec. 00:04:53.39\00:04:54.86 Do you also have Home Ec? 00:04:55.06\00:04:56.39 - No. - You never had Home Ec? 00:04:56.42\00:04:58.19 We learned to sew, we learned to cook. 00:04:58.39\00:05:00.06 - Remember, Torre? - Yes. 00:05:00.10\00:05:01.43 That was the best class. We would eat our food, alright. 00:05:01.46\00:05:04.27 If it was good. 00:05:04.30\00:05:05.63 And so, we had those kind of classes. 00:05:05.67\00:05:08.17 So what are you involved in? 00:05:08.20\00:05:09.74 - I play the clarinet. - I play the clarinet. 00:05:09.84\00:05:13.01 - I'm in band. - Yes. 00:05:13.04\00:05:14.74 - And I swim. - You swim. 00:05:14.78\00:05:16.68 I kind of, you know, go under. 00:05:17.05\00:05:19.48 You know, I cannot back stroke. 00:05:19.68\00:05:22.05 Is it the fear? 00:05:22.08\00:05:23.49 Yeah, it's probably the fear. 00:05:23.89\00:05:25.22 - You have to lift your hips up. - I do, but it's like I go down. 00:05:25.25\00:05:29.06 And then but I swim, I kick. You know. 00:05:29.26\00:05:32.46 My husband use to say, "What are you doing?" 00:05:32.96\00:05:34.96 You know, I'd say, "I'm doing something. 00:05:35.00\00:05:36.90 Alright, I'm going to keep at it." 00:05:36.93\00:05:38.43 But, so how good are you at swimming? 00:05:38.63\00:05:40.94 Um, well I'm on a swim team, so. 00:05:40.97\00:05:43.71 And I'm a lifeguard. 00:05:43.81\00:05:45.27 So I'm kind of good. 00:05:45.57\00:05:47.14 You're kind of good? 00:05:47.18\00:05:48.54 You can save my life, alright. 00:05:48.74\00:05:50.41 Come on and save my life, alright. 00:05:51.45\00:05:53.48 So are you think about maybe getting a job working on a beach 00:05:53.52\00:05:56.69 or a lifeguard, or something like that? 00:05:56.72\00:05:58.19 - Yes. - At the Y, or something? 00:05:59.35\00:06:01.36 Yeah, I work now. I have a summer job now. 00:06:01.39\00:06:04.53 I like that independence. 00:06:04.56\00:06:06.93 Have you gotten paid yet? 00:06:06.96\00:06:08.30 - Yes. - Oooh, look at that smile. 00:06:08.33\00:06:10.57 So that means saving. 00:06:11.73\00:06:13.94 You know, and of course tithing. 00:06:13.97\00:06:16.14 And then, you know, does mom and dad 00:06:16.24\00:06:17.57 let you have a little bit to shop with? 00:06:17.61\00:06:19.27 - Yes, just a little bit. - A little bit. That's good. 00:06:19.31\00:06:21.48 You know, because this is the time we start now 00:06:21.51\00:06:24.35 preparing for economics as an adult. 00:06:24.38\00:06:27.78 Because a lot of people do not know how to save and plan, 00:06:27.82\00:06:31.89 because they weren't taught as children, alright. 00:06:32.09\00:06:34.82 Well how do you get along with mom, 00:06:34.86\00:06:37.03 and dad, and the family dynamics? 00:06:37.06\00:06:39.53 How do you get along with mama? 00:06:39.56\00:06:40.90 - We get along good. - Really? 00:06:40.93\00:06:43.06 Mama's like, "Okay, fix this." 00:06:44.13\00:06:46.30 So do you do chores? Do you get discipline? 00:06:46.50\00:06:49.67 You probably don't have any problems. 00:06:49.70\00:06:51.44 - Well I do chores. ~ You do chores? 00:06:52.11\00:06:53.81 - Yeah, a lot of chores. ~ You do a lot of chores. 00:06:53.84\00:06:56.04 You know, does your brother do chores? 00:06:56.24\00:06:58.08 - Mm-hmm. - Oh so everybody does chores? 00:06:58.11\00:06:59.61 Everybody except for my dad. 00:06:59.65\00:07:01.02 - Dad doesn't do chores? - No. 00:07:01.05\00:07:02.55 Oh, he's spoiled. 00:07:02.58\00:07:03.92 He said, "I paid my dues, you know. 00:07:05.09\00:07:07.56 You guys, it's your turn now." 00:07:07.69\00:07:10.03 So how do you feel about doing chores? 00:07:10.19\00:07:12.93 I don't have a problem. 00:07:13.53\00:07:14.96 I think I should because... 00:07:15.00\00:07:16.67 - You live there. - Yeah, I live there. 00:07:17.63\00:07:19.57 So it's no choice. 00:07:19.60\00:07:20.94 And my question is, when you go off to college 00:07:20.97\00:07:23.20 you've got to be able to maintain your dormitory room 00:07:23.41\00:07:26.27 or your apartment. 00:07:26.31\00:07:27.64 And then when you get married some day 00:07:27.68\00:07:29.28 who wants to live with someone who's not well kept. 00:07:29.64\00:07:32.11 - Do you? - No. 00:07:32.15\00:07:33.48 That was one of my pet peeves. 00:07:33.52\00:07:34.85 You know, you've got to clean up. 00:07:34.88\00:07:36.48 You've got to organize. 00:07:36.52\00:07:37.89 When I met my husband, he had chicken and dumplings 00:07:37.92\00:07:40.72 in his refrigerator for, like, two years. 00:07:40.76\00:07:42.79 I don't know. Okay. 00:07:42.82\00:07:44.16 And golf balls everywhere. 00:07:44.93\00:07:46.76 So I was like, this is not going to work. 00:07:46.80\00:07:48.96 I remember I went to band camp. 00:07:49.00\00:07:51.23 And like, my bed, it was all clean. 00:07:51.33\00:07:54.37 I made up my bed every day. 00:07:54.40\00:07:55.94 And like, the people I was rooming with, 00:07:56.04\00:07:58.31 they just had their clothes everywhere. 00:07:58.41\00:08:00.38 And I was like, hmm. 00:08:00.41\00:08:01.74 So that let you know how they lived at home, alright. 00:08:01.78\00:08:04.18 So I'm glad you know and got a taste of the other side. 00:08:04.45\00:08:08.18 So what happens when you do step out of line 00:08:08.48\00:08:12.02 and you go to the left or right? 00:08:12.05\00:08:13.66 Maybe, you know, you disagree with mom or dad. 00:08:13.86\00:08:16.59 Or you may be falling behind in schoolwork. 00:08:16.62\00:08:20.43 - Are your grades good? - Yes. 00:08:20.53\00:08:22.03 Oh you said, "Yes!" 00:08:22.06\00:08:23.87 Are you on the honor roll? 00:08:23.90\00:08:25.40 - Not yet. - But you're working towards it? 00:08:25.43\00:08:27.34 - Yeah, I'm working. - Alright, good. 00:08:27.37\00:08:28.90 You know, we all have to have a goal. 00:08:28.94\00:08:30.54 So what happens when you do go to the left or right? 00:08:30.81\00:08:33.68 How does mom and dad get you back on the straight path? 00:08:33.88\00:08:37.38 Well, my mom is kind of on me more, because I guess 00:08:37.41\00:08:41.28 she sees potential, and other things. 00:08:41.32\00:08:43.75 So like, she might have a talk with me. 00:08:43.79\00:08:46.02 Oh she, like, yells. 00:08:46.12\00:08:48.32 She yells? 00:08:48.36\00:08:49.69 I do too, okay? 00:08:49.72\00:08:51.29 Like, so if I go off course, like, she kind of 00:08:51.33\00:08:54.63 pulls me back in, yeah. 00:08:54.66\00:08:56.67 Like, "What are you doing?" 00:08:56.70\00:08:58.40 Like, "You got this." 00:08:58.60\00:08:59.93 It like motivates me to... 00:08:59.97\00:09:01.87 And my dad, he, he... I don't know. 00:09:01.90\00:09:06.44 Is he laid back? 00:09:07.04\00:09:08.38 Yeah, he's kind of like laid back. 00:09:08.41\00:09:09.98 Like, he's not really on me like this. 00:09:10.01\00:09:13.21 - Like, "Leave the baby alone." - Yeah, like I'm the only girl. 00:09:13.25\00:09:16.52 So like, I'm the daddy's girl, so. 00:09:16.55\00:09:19.35 Like, he's on my brother more, so. 00:09:19.45\00:09:22.76 Alright, does mom go easy on your brother? 00:09:23.12\00:09:25.59 - Yes! - See, you know what they say. 00:09:25.63\00:09:28.36 Mothers and sons, fathers and daughters. 00:09:28.40\00:09:30.50 Okay, so why do you think she's easier on him? 00:09:30.53\00:09:34.00 Because my brother, he's special. 00:09:35.00\00:09:37.47 - I don't know. - He's special. 00:09:38.87\00:09:40.34 Not different, but special. 00:09:40.38\00:09:41.78 Like, he knows what he's, like, what he's doing and everything. 00:09:41.81\00:09:46.78 So, yeah. 00:09:46.82\00:09:49.78 You know, is it that you can't tell him anything? 00:09:49.82\00:09:52.69 Or is he just on task? 00:09:52.72\00:09:55.19 Or is he just, he's just independent? 00:09:55.22\00:09:57.76 He's kind of independent. 00:10:00.43\00:10:02.36 Okay, I didn't get any of those words, alright. 00:10:02.40\00:10:04.43 But he's on the, he likes boxing. 00:10:04.80\00:10:06.60 Yeah, he boxes. 00:10:06.63\00:10:07.97 Okay, so that's really a defense. 00:10:08.00\00:10:10.14 These are lethal weapons here, alright. 00:10:10.24\00:10:12.51 So you have a good protector. 00:10:12.54\00:10:14.01 So what are your future goals? What do you want to be? 00:10:14.24\00:10:17.05 My future goals, I want to be a journalist and a newscaster. 00:10:17.08\00:10:20.92 Look at you, you're going to be sitting in this chair some day. 00:10:20.95\00:10:23.59 Look at you. 00:10:23.62\00:10:24.95 I remember when I met you, I was speaking, 00:10:24.99\00:10:27.79 I was Woman's Day guest speaker. 00:10:27.82\00:10:30.36 And you introduced me. 00:10:30.56\00:10:32.49 And you we so well spoken. 00:10:32.53\00:10:35.93 Eye contact, so well poised. 00:10:36.23\00:10:38.83 And I didn't know that you were Torre's daughter. 00:10:38.87\00:10:42.00 Because I already knew your mom. 00:10:42.04\00:10:43.37 We're going to talk a little bit about that. 00:10:43.41\00:10:44.74 And you were sitting on the pulpit with all us old folk, 00:10:44.77\00:10:48.54 alright, and I looked down and I said, 00:10:48.58\00:10:51.01 "She's going to introduce me." 00:10:51.21\00:10:53.11 I was so impressed. 00:10:53.15\00:10:54.98 I think that it's important that you have these experiences 00:10:55.02\00:10:58.55 now so you're not afraid. 00:10:58.59\00:11:00.56 And when I came down to the fellowship hall, 00:11:00.59\00:11:03.29 when I asked you to be a guest, 00:11:03.32\00:11:04.76 because I saw something inside of you. 00:11:04.79\00:11:06.76 Your mother is right. You have awesome potential. 00:11:06.96\00:11:09.73 And you must stay on that path. 00:11:09.83\00:11:12.73 Not leering to the left or to the right. 00:11:12.77\00:11:15.04 Because Satan wants to destroy your life. 00:11:15.20\00:11:18.11 He's out to steal, kill, and destroy. 00:11:18.14\00:11:20.38 Let's talk about your relationship with the Lord. 00:11:20.64\00:11:22.74 Is God important and is He key in your life? 00:11:22.78\00:11:25.71 - Yes, very much. - Let's talk about that. 00:11:25.75\00:11:27.78 Well like... 00:11:28.25\00:11:30.55 Do you pray, do you study your Word, 00:11:31.39\00:11:33.46 do you witness to other people? 00:11:33.49\00:11:35.22 Yes, I feel God gives me the strength from Him 00:11:36.06\00:11:40.63 to encourage others through my writing and my speaking, so. 00:11:41.20\00:11:47.14 What do you mean, your writing? What do you do? 00:11:47.24\00:11:48.64 - Like, I write stories. - You do? 00:11:48.67\00:11:51.64 Wow! Have you had anything published yet? 00:11:52.07\00:11:54.41 I was about to, but it kind of, I don't know what happened. 00:11:54.71\00:11:59.31 You went to the left or the right. 00:11:59.35\00:12:00.68 ~ Yeah. 00:12:00.72\00:12:02.05 So you had to get on the straight path. 00:12:02.08\00:12:03.42 I was about to publish a book, but... 00:12:03.45\00:12:05.42 Okay, it's not too late. 00:12:05.62\00:12:07.26 ~ Yeah, it's not too late. - It's never too late, you know. 00:12:07.29\00:12:09.19 And maybe there's something Dr. Kim can do 00:12:09.22\00:12:11.29 to help you with that, you know. 00:12:11.46\00:12:13.29 So God is important. 00:12:14.16\00:12:15.96 He helps you to encourage others. 00:12:16.00\00:12:17.80 Do you want to see Jesus when He comes? 00:12:18.47\00:12:21.30 - Yes. ~ You do. 00:12:21.34\00:12:22.67 You just smile, you know. And He's coming soon. 00:12:22.70\00:12:25.77 Look at everything that's going on in our world. 00:12:25.81\00:12:28.44 Are you afraid, like, I hear some young people say, 00:12:28.58\00:12:31.11 "Oh please, God, don't come for another 30 years. 00:12:31.35\00:12:33.72 I want to live to see my life, you know." 00:12:33.75\00:12:36.12 It's like, you know, do you feel like that? 00:12:36.15\00:12:38.52 You know, that you're going to miss out on something? 00:12:38.55\00:12:40.66 - No, uh-uh. - Me either. 00:12:40.69\00:12:42.02 You know, so if I don't live to be a hundred 00:12:42.22\00:12:44.16 or two hundred, something... 00:12:44.19\00:12:46.03 I don't know if I can wear my shoes at two hundred. 00:12:46.06\00:12:47.80 But I'm like, "Lord, I'm so excited about 00:12:47.93\00:12:50.77 Your soon second coming." 00:12:50.80\00:12:52.17 Alright. 00:12:52.20\00:12:53.54 Do you want to, in the future, have you picked out 00:12:53.57\00:12:56.77 a school yet, a college? 00:12:56.81\00:12:58.87 Have you talked about that with your parents? 00:12:58.91\00:13:00.34 Yes, I talk about college, like, every day. 00:13:00.38\00:13:02.74 Really? 00:13:02.78\00:13:04.11 So you want to go, you want to attend college? 00:13:04.15\00:13:06.21 Yes, I want to go. 00:13:06.25\00:13:07.58 Alright, where do you have in mind? 00:13:07.62\00:13:09.08 Norfolk State. 00:13:09.48\00:13:11.65 - In Virginia? - Uh-huh. 00:13:11.95\00:13:13.32 - Alright, is that an historical black college? - Yes. 00:13:13.36\00:13:16.56 You want to go to an historical black... 00:13:16.59\00:13:17.93 - Yeah, I to go to a... - Yes, alright. 00:13:17.96\00:13:20.00 So do you think you're going to be ready to go off to college? 00:13:20.03\00:13:22.66 - Yes, I think so. ~ Alright. 00:13:23.10\00:13:24.53 ~ Look at that independence. 00:13:24.57\00:13:26.23 ~ Alright, you know. 00:13:27.14\00:13:28.47 Does mom, you look so nice and Christ-like, 00:13:28.50\00:13:32.47 does mom pick out your clothes or does she 00:13:32.51\00:13:34.24 give you a little leeway? 00:13:34.28\00:13:35.61 Ummm... 00:13:35.64\00:13:37.08 Mmmm... 00:13:38.41\00:13:39.75 She's in control. 00:13:39.78\00:13:41.12 - No, no. - No? 00:13:41.15\00:13:42.48 I pick out my clothes. 00:13:42.52\00:13:43.85 Now do you wear a uniform to school? 00:13:43.89\00:13:45.22 - No, no. - Ooh, you said, "No!" 00:13:45.25\00:13:46.59 - Those days are over too. - Yes. 00:13:46.62\00:13:48.02 - Does mom do your hair? - No. 00:13:49.92\00:13:51.99 Oh, you said, "No!" 00:13:52.03\00:13:53.60 - That stopped when I was... - You hear those inflections? 00:13:53.63\00:13:55.36 No! No! 00:13:55.40\00:13:56.73 - That stopped too? Alright. - Yeah. 00:13:56.90\00:13:58.60 So on special occasions does mom do your hair? 00:13:58.63\00:14:01.14 - No. - No? 00:14:01.17\00:14:02.54 You just have it all... 00:14:02.64\00:14:03.97 Like special occasions I get my hair, like, pressed. 00:14:04.01\00:14:06.61 Because I called you yesterday 00:14:07.18\00:14:08.51 and you were getting your hair done. 00:14:08.54\00:14:09.88 I know, she said, "Dr. Logan, I can't hear you. 00:14:09.91\00:14:11.58 I'm getting my hair done." 00:14:11.61\00:14:12.95 I said, "I just want to make sure we're on for tomorrow." 00:14:14.02\00:14:16.58 "Bye." She said, "Bye." 00:14:16.62\00:14:18.19 So it looks beautiful. They did a great job. 00:14:18.92\00:14:21.29 Well I want to just switch over a little bit and talk to mom. 00:14:21.42\00:14:24.69 And I know there's going to be great success for you. 00:14:24.79\00:14:27.40 And I truly thank God for your testimony. 00:14:27.43\00:14:30.07 And also I want to say, "Are you a virgin?" 00:14:30.33\00:14:33.74 - Yes. ~ Why are you still a virgin? 00:14:33.77\00:14:36.37 Because I don't have time to... 00:14:36.91\00:14:39.67 Like, my granddad always told me to keep a pill 00:14:39.77\00:14:42.44 in between my legs, or an aspirin in between my legs. 00:14:42.48\00:14:46.25 So like, ever since he passed, like, I feel a need 00:14:46.28\00:14:50.52 like I shouldn't go against his word or nothing, so. 00:14:50.55\00:14:53.66 And we know it's against God's Word 00:14:53.92\00:14:55.69 to have sex outside of marriage. 00:14:55.72\00:14:57.29 And God wants us to abstain and be pure. 00:14:57.63\00:15:00.56 He wants us to be pure. 00:15:00.76\00:15:02.16 Because God has something great for your life, 00:15:02.20\00:15:04.57 if we can just be obedient. 00:15:04.60\00:15:06.50 Obedience is better than sacrifice. 00:15:06.53\00:15:08.54 Is there a favorite scripture that you lean on in your life? 00:15:08.64\00:15:11.47 - Yes. - What is it? 00:15:11.51\00:15:12.94 - I don't know where... - It's found? 00:15:13.74\00:15:15.68 Yeah, but it's, "God did not give me a spirit of fear, 00:15:15.71\00:15:18.91 but power, love and a sound mind." 00:15:18.95\00:15:20.98 - 2 Timothy 1:7. - Yeah, I knew it was in... 00:15:21.02\00:15:25.19 That's one of my favorites. 00:15:25.22\00:15:26.69 You know, and He's given you a power 00:15:26.72\00:15:28.89 of a good mind, and not of fear. 00:15:28.92\00:15:31.59 And for you to not leer to the left or the right. 00:15:31.63\00:15:34.26 And there's no reason. 00:15:34.36\00:15:35.70 Because God is a God, a path of obedience 00:15:35.73\00:15:40.27 and being on the straight and narrow path. 00:15:40.30\00:15:42.77 So I'm asking you, as a vessel of the Lord, do not leer. 00:15:42.87\00:15:47.91 Stay on that path, alright? 00:15:48.04\00:15:49.88 And we're going to hear great things about you. 00:15:49.91\00:15:52.08 And I'll be watching you on television, alright. 00:15:52.11\00:15:54.98 - So mom, welcome. - Yes, hello there. 00:15:55.65\00:15:58.35 You've done a great job, you and your husband. 00:15:58.39\00:16:00.66 How long you been married? 00:16:00.69\00:16:02.12 It will be seventeen years, no eighteen years in September. 00:16:02.16\00:16:07.13 ~ September the what? - September 20th. 00:16:07.16\00:16:09.76 Oh, I'm a September baby. 00:16:09.80\00:16:11.23 I love people, anything in September, you know. 00:16:11.27\00:16:13.74 So let's talk a little bit about motherhood, 00:16:13.77\00:16:16.14 and you know, being a wife and balancing, 00:16:16.17\00:16:18.64 and your own business. 00:16:18.67\00:16:20.01 So start wherever you like. 00:16:20.11\00:16:21.78 Well motherhood is probably one of the joyous things 00:16:22.18\00:16:25.98 that I've ever experienced. 00:16:26.01\00:16:27.62 Especially having a son that is soon to be seventeen 00:16:27.65\00:16:31.75 and my fifteen year old. 00:16:31.79\00:16:33.12 And teaching them independence. 00:16:33.29\00:16:35.06 Teaching them how to love God first. 00:16:35.16\00:16:37.56 Now that they both are working, teaching them that 00:16:38.03\00:16:40.40 tithe and offering is the most important, 00:16:40.43\00:16:42.76 which comes out of their check first. 00:16:42.80\00:16:44.73 How to put the money away to save. 00:16:45.03\00:16:47.84 Getting prepared for college. 00:16:48.07\00:16:49.60 So I think having children was, not knowing that I didn't 00:16:51.27\00:16:55.48 want any in the beginning... 00:16:55.51\00:16:56.85 - Didn't want children. - I did not want children. 00:16:56.88\00:16:58.51 Wow! This was even after you got married 00:16:58.55\00:17:00.98 you didn't want children? 00:17:01.02\00:17:02.35 And we did not want children. 00:17:02.38\00:17:03.72 Actually we had spent, just sitting around talking, 00:17:03.75\00:17:06.32 and decided we would wait a few years 00:17:06.35\00:17:09.12 before we decided to have a family. 00:17:09.16\00:17:11.46 - That didn't... - There came your son. 00:17:11.96\00:17:13.63 And then a couple of years later... 00:17:14.93\00:17:16.60 Then comes Nila. 00:17:16.63\00:17:18.07 - But it was a good balance. - Yes it was. 00:17:18.10\00:17:19.53 Now you are sign language interpreter. 00:17:19.57\00:17:22.60 What's your title? 00:17:22.64\00:17:23.97 I am an interpreter, also a professor, 00:17:24.01\00:17:27.94 an advocate. 00:17:28.41\00:17:29.94 Now where do you teach? 00:17:29.98\00:17:31.31 I teach at Wayne Community College. 00:17:31.35\00:17:33.05 And I also have my own business. 00:17:33.28\00:17:35.15 How long have you been signing? 00:17:35.18\00:17:36.75 Twenty plus. Twenty-three years. 00:17:38.75\00:17:41.22 And that's how we met. 00:17:41.26\00:17:42.66 Hands Of Praise was doing a concert 00:17:42.76\00:17:44.83 at Wayne State University. 00:17:44.86\00:17:46.39 You were signing for a company owned by 00:17:46.86\00:17:50.73 two of my members at City Temple. 00:17:50.77\00:17:52.50 And you were just so sweet, so nice, and so kind. 00:17:52.73\00:17:56.71 That was our first concert. 00:17:56.74\00:17:58.11 And even when one of the signs didn't line up, 00:17:58.14\00:18:01.64 you returned to the hearing impaired and gave them 00:18:01.68\00:18:04.31 the word that they knew. 00:18:04.35\00:18:05.71 But you were so encouraging. 00:18:05.81\00:18:07.68 And now all these years later. 00:18:07.72\00:18:09.52 Can you imagine, not knowing we would meet 00:18:09.62\00:18:12.39 many years later, and not knowing Nila was your daughter 00:18:12.52\00:18:16.76 who introduced me, and then I looked at you and said, 00:18:16.79\00:18:19.63 "I know her." 00:18:19.66\00:18:21.00 And then when you sat down, I said... 00:18:21.03\00:18:22.60 And you started signing. 00:18:23.83\00:18:25.20 And I said, "It's so good to see you," you know. 00:18:25.33\00:18:28.30 So we're going to show them a little bit, alright? 00:18:28.40\00:18:31.14 - Just a little bit. - Just a little bit, you know. 00:18:31.17\00:18:32.84 So, hello. How are you? 00:18:32.87\00:18:35.51 And your response would be... 00:18:35.54\00:18:36.88 I'm doing good. And how are you? 00:18:37.45\00:18:39.58 Oh, I am good. It is so good to see you again. 00:18:39.61\00:18:43.69 It's good to see you also. 00:18:43.72\00:18:45.29 How is your family? 00:18:45.32\00:18:46.72 My family is well. Doing good and growing. 00:18:46.76\00:18:51.46 I don't want to say growing, because 00:18:52.03\00:18:53.43 we're not having any more children, that's for sure. 00:18:53.46\00:18:55.56 - God is good. - All the time. 00:18:55.60\00:18:57.83 All the time. Ah, yes. 00:18:57.87\00:19:00.64 Don't play, don't play. 00:19:00.67\00:19:02.04 Having a second language is crucial. 00:19:02.50\00:19:05.87 It's very important. 00:19:05.91\00:19:07.24 And so why have you given your life to this ministry? 00:19:07.38\00:19:11.28 Actually, my major in college was nursing. 00:19:12.18\00:19:15.58 ~ Really? - Yes. 00:19:15.62\00:19:16.99 And the Holy Spirit, by teaching at the church, 00:19:17.62\00:19:21.96 the Holy Spirit convicted my heart, 00:19:21.99\00:19:24.83 or changed it, or filled it. 00:19:24.86\00:19:26.70 And from that moment on I changed my major 00:19:26.96\00:19:30.30 in my last year to sign language. 00:19:30.33\00:19:32.83 - You said, your last year. - My last year. 00:19:32.87\00:19:34.87 Did that prolong you leaving the program, graduating? 00:19:34.90\00:19:38.11 - Yes it did. - How many more years? 00:19:38.14\00:19:39.47 - Just an additional year. - Praise the Lord. 00:19:39.51\00:19:41.41 - But you are happy. - I am more than excited. 00:19:41.44\00:19:44.58 I would not have thought this was 00:19:44.61\00:19:45.95 the path that I was going into. 00:19:45.98\00:19:47.32 Especially when I wanted to be a nurse anesthetist. 00:19:47.38\00:19:49.68 ~ Isn't that something. - Yes. 00:19:49.72\00:19:51.12 Now are there any hearing impaired 00:19:51.15\00:19:53.22 or hearing challenged members in your family? 00:19:53.25\00:19:55.96 Actually, to see God work, not knowing that my husband, 00:19:56.52\00:20:01.00 before we got married, his sister is deaf. 00:20:01.23\00:20:03.50 - Really? - Yes, so they have a deaf aunt. 00:20:03.53\00:20:06.33 - Really? - Yes. 00:20:06.37\00:20:07.70 - Now does she sign fluently? - Yes. 00:20:07.74\00:20:09.60 So you communicate and interpret for the family. 00:20:09.64\00:20:12.71 - Yes, ma'am. Yes. - At gatherings and everything. 00:20:12.74\00:20:14.54 So I know she's happy to have someone 00:20:14.58\00:20:16.64 at family gatherings she can talk to. 00:20:16.75\00:20:19.11 You know, are you teaching other family members to sign? 00:20:19.15\00:20:22.82 Are they willing? 00:20:22.85\00:20:24.19 Well, my mom actually is the one that encouraged me 00:20:24.22\00:20:27.19 to become, to learn sign language. 00:20:27.22\00:20:30.13 And James and Nila, we have encouraged them to learn 00:20:30.23\00:20:33.36 to communicate with their aunt. 00:20:33.40\00:20:34.73 I think that's the most beneficial. 00:20:34.76\00:20:36.50 And actually it's also a great way to have a second language. 00:20:36.53\00:20:39.30 Even if they're not fluent in it, but at least if they 00:20:39.33\00:20:42.20 go out into the community and meet somebody, 00:20:42.24\00:20:44.04 they'll know or have a way to communicate with someone. 00:20:44.07\00:20:46.91 That's a blessing. 00:20:47.54\00:20:48.88 You as a person, your relationship with the Lord, 00:20:49.08\00:20:51.41 let's talk about your relationship. 00:20:51.45\00:20:53.08 Do you love Him? 00:20:53.58\00:20:54.92 I love Him to the utmost. 00:20:54.95\00:20:56.79 I think ever since I became in the ministry of sign language 00:20:57.79\00:21:01.92 I think that's when the walk became closer. 00:21:02.12\00:21:05.13 More endearing. 00:21:06.06\00:21:07.40 By me teaching sign language and teaching religious signing, 00:21:08.53\00:21:11.63 you have a better understanding and you get to study the Word, 00:21:11.73\00:21:15.04 and you get to know Him. 00:21:15.07\00:21:16.40 And then you have to depend on Him and trust Him. 00:21:16.44\00:21:18.14 Having your own business, when things seem to go 00:21:18.17\00:21:21.74 to the left or to the right, 00:21:21.78\00:21:23.18 you know you have to keep the path straight. 00:21:23.21\00:21:25.31 And actually leaning on Him, and talking with my husband 00:21:25.35\00:21:28.42 and having that husband and wife communication. 00:21:28.45\00:21:31.02 And just so, that relationship with God has become 00:21:31.35\00:21:35.06 closer and endearing. 00:21:35.09\00:21:36.42 And we prayed on our way here, 00:21:36.46\00:21:38.79 and then we prayed while we were here. 00:21:38.83\00:21:40.90 Just to know to depend on Him and trust Him. 00:21:41.23\00:21:44.43 It's just, it's almost like when I sign 00:21:44.90\00:21:47.47 I can be a pastor. 00:21:47.94\00:21:49.40 Or I can evangelize. 00:21:49.74\00:21:51.91 But I can do it where I don't have to use my voice. 00:21:51.94\00:21:55.21 ~ You can do it without your voice. 00:21:55.24\00:21:56.58 - Use those ten fingers. - Those ten little fingers. 00:21:56.61\00:21:58.05 The power of these fingers. 00:21:58.08\00:22:00.52 How do you find downtime, you know, so that you can 00:22:00.82\00:22:04.32 continue on that straight path. 00:22:04.42\00:22:05.82 Because we all need downtime. 00:22:05.85\00:22:07.19 Need to relax, we need to breathe. 00:22:07.42\00:22:09.89 So what does mom, wife, business owner do for you? 00:22:09.92\00:22:14.16 You know, do you work out, do you crochet? 00:22:14.20\00:22:17.40 Do you, you know... 00:22:17.43\00:22:18.77 I'm thinking about picking up crocheting. 00:22:18.80\00:22:20.44 - You know, do you crochet? - No. 00:22:20.80\00:22:22.54 - Knit? - No. 00:22:22.57\00:22:23.91 Nila, I'm not talking to you anymore, alright. 00:22:23.94\00:22:26.14 - What do you do? - Every day I do water aerobics. 00:22:26.24\00:22:28.74 - Do you? - Yes, every day. 00:22:28.78\00:22:30.75 - That's a blessing. - Without fail. 00:22:30.78\00:22:32.11 For at least an hour, hour and a half. 00:22:32.15\00:22:33.75 My water serenity, and it's relaxing. 00:22:33.78\00:22:36.52 - Yes. - And so... 00:22:36.55\00:22:38.39 You do that for you. 00:22:38.42\00:22:39.75 Yes. I think when I... 00:22:39.95\00:22:41.32 I was talking on another broadcast, I broke my patella. 00:22:41.42\00:22:45.53 But water aerobic was so amazing for me. 00:22:45.69\00:22:49.46 And didn't feel anything. 00:22:49.63\00:22:51.30 And when I was in the weight loss program 00:22:51.43\00:22:54.00 I was doing water aerobic three times a week, 00:22:54.04\00:22:56.54 and I loved it. 00:22:56.57\00:22:57.91 Because that swimming thing just wasn't working for me, alright. 00:22:58.04\00:23:01.84 But water aerobics? 00:23:01.94\00:23:03.55 I can stand up and do this. 00:23:03.65\00:23:05.41 You know, and I would just walk the pool, 00:23:05.45\00:23:07.48 walk the pool, walk the pool. 00:23:07.52\00:23:09.58 I would go under every now and then 00:23:09.78\00:23:11.49 to try to be like I'm doing something, alright. 00:23:11.52\00:23:13.86 So, marriage. 00:23:14.06\00:23:16.19 Looking at, you know, your relationship in marriage 00:23:16.29\00:23:18.99 and motherhood, do you cook every day? 00:23:19.03\00:23:21.23 - No. - It's okay. 00:23:22.73\00:23:24.37 It's okay. I don't either. 00:23:24.40\00:23:25.93 I think, you know, because you're not a stay at home mom. 00:23:26.17\00:23:28.97 Well actually, we try not to do a lot of fast food. 00:23:29.00\00:23:33.51 - We believe in eating healthy. ~ That's good. 00:23:33.54\00:23:35.38 Part of my studies is also in holistic studies. 00:23:35.58\00:23:38.41 So eating properly and making sure they know how to cook. 00:23:38.51\00:23:41.62 But by my husband being the cook, 00:23:41.65\00:23:43.59 so that way I don't have to cook every day. 00:23:43.92\00:23:46.35 - He's a great cook. - Yes. 00:23:46.39\00:23:48.76 Alright, you like dad's cooking? 00:23:49.06\00:23:50.39 - Yes. - Ooh. 00:23:50.43\00:23:51.76 - He's culinary also. - Oh really? 00:23:52.26\00:23:54.20 He's in culinary and pastries. 00:23:54.23\00:23:55.90 - Oooh. - Yes. 00:23:55.93\00:23:57.73 Can you cook? 00:23:57.77\00:23:59.10 - No. - No? 00:23:59.13\00:24:00.67 - You going to learn? - I can cook eggs. 00:24:00.70\00:24:02.57 That's good. That's a good start. 00:24:02.60\00:24:04.14 - Breakfast, mostly. - You can do breakfast food? 00:24:04.17\00:24:05.81 - Yeah, breakfast. - Alright. 00:24:05.84\00:24:07.18 - You know, make pancakes? - Yeah. 00:24:07.21\00:24:08.54 You have a waffle, you can make waffles? 00:24:08.61\00:24:10.15 - No. - You can't do that? Okay. 00:24:10.18\00:24:11.88 So looking at your downtime in water aerobics, 00:24:12.01\00:24:15.02 looking at how you maintain your peace, 00:24:15.98\00:24:18.45 your relationship. 00:24:18.49\00:24:20.02 You have a son and a daughter. 00:24:20.12\00:24:22.19 They're different people. 00:24:22.22\00:24:23.83 How do you... You're laughing already. 00:24:24.16\00:24:26.33 How do you discipline your children? 00:24:26.80\00:24:29.36 Actually, I have to discipline them separately. 00:24:31.53\00:24:34.20 Because they're separate. 00:24:34.30\00:24:35.67 James is James. Nila is Nila. 00:24:36.50\00:24:38.51 I do believe in using a rod. I don't spare the rod. 00:24:39.14\00:24:43.78 When they were younger. 00:24:43.81\00:24:45.78 So we did believe in that. 00:24:46.11\00:24:47.48 Even though, Nila maybe once or twice. 00:24:47.52\00:24:49.38 But that James. 00:24:49.42\00:24:50.75 I believe in it. I can say it. 00:24:50.79\00:24:52.42 The Bible says, you spare the rod, you spoil the child. 00:24:52.45\00:24:55.02 - That's Scriptural. - Yes it is. 00:24:55.06\00:24:56.56 For Nila, we have to sit and talk. 00:24:57.83\00:24:59.93 And we can talk it out, and have a one on one basis. 00:25:00.70\00:25:04.87 Just the other night we sat and had to talk about, 00:25:04.90\00:25:08.14 is that the right choice. 00:25:08.44\00:25:09.87 And I like for them to understand 00:25:09.90\00:25:11.61 the choices that they make. 00:25:11.64\00:25:13.11 Do your husband and you do it together 00:25:13.14\00:25:14.54 or is it more mommy? 00:25:14.58\00:25:15.91 Actually we will, my husband and I will talk first, 00:25:16.28\00:25:18.95 and then we come, then I am the one that comes to them. 00:25:19.25\00:25:22.55 Let's tell the viewers why you do that. 00:25:22.58\00:25:24.55 Why do you do that, you sit down with your husband first? 00:25:24.75\00:25:27.49 Because we want to make sure that 00:25:27.59\00:25:29.26 we are in agreement together. 00:25:29.29\00:25:31.06 And if we're not together, then they'll see the opposition 00:25:31.26\00:25:34.00 between us, and then they probably will like to 00:25:34.03\00:25:35.90 try to see, "Well if mama doesn't like it 00:25:35.93\00:25:38.83 and daddy likes it, then I'll go to mama." 00:25:38.87\00:25:40.84 Or vice versa. 00:25:40.87\00:25:42.20 And so we try to make sure we are on the same team. 00:25:42.27\00:25:44.94 A husband and wife is a team effort. 00:25:44.97\00:25:47.18 So we work together in trying to make sure that 00:25:47.48\00:25:50.01 if one does this, you understand. 00:25:50.18\00:25:52.81 You know, you can't go to dad thinking that you're going to... 00:25:53.28\00:25:55.75 - That manipulation. - Yes, exactly. 00:25:55.78\00:25:57.99 That you can't get a different answer. 00:25:58.02\00:25:59.45 So we work together on dating, and how finances will be spent, 00:25:59.49\00:26:06.39 and chores at the house. 00:26:06.43\00:26:08.70 Yes, that is spoiled, if I can say that. 00:26:08.80\00:26:12.17 You know, but getting you ready for that independence. 00:26:13.23\00:26:15.94 Because see, the bottom line, Nila... 00:26:16.27\00:26:17.84 Can I just tell you this? 00:26:17.87\00:26:19.21 We want you out. 00:26:19.31\00:26:20.64 We don't want you to come back. 00:26:21.08\00:26:22.41 I mean, come back and visit for the holidays. 00:26:22.44\00:26:24.51 But we want you to, you know, get through college, 00:26:24.71\00:26:28.15 come home and visit, go back to college, 00:26:28.18\00:26:30.39 graduate, go on, and on, and on. 00:26:30.42\00:26:33.86 Come and visit, but only stay a couple of days, alright. 00:26:34.02\00:26:36.96 Because, you know, we want you out of our refrigerator, 00:26:37.49\00:26:39.79 off our cell phone bill. 00:26:39.83\00:26:41.30 Because that's what we want. 00:26:41.53\00:26:42.86 And the only way we can do that is train you now. 00:26:42.90\00:26:45.63 You know, we're almost done. 00:26:45.93\00:26:48.27 It went so fast. 00:26:48.50\00:26:49.90 So in closing remarks, what can you say to young ladies? 00:26:49.94\00:26:53.68 What can you say to families, mothers? 00:26:53.94\00:26:56.21 Nila. 00:26:56.24\00:26:57.58 Being positive with whatever you do. 00:26:57.61\00:27:00.95 And be happy with the skin that you're in. 00:27:01.22\00:27:04.05 Ooh, be happy with the skin that you are in. 00:27:04.09\00:27:07.19 You little chocolate beauty. 00:27:07.56\00:27:09.02 Yes. Mom? 00:27:09.46\00:27:10.79 For family, my suggestion is, get back to how we were raised. 00:27:11.29\00:27:16.40 And that is family time at the dinner table, 00:27:16.43\00:27:19.23 cooking as a family, spending time together. 00:27:19.80\00:27:23.10 Put the cell phones away, turn the TV off. 00:27:23.51\00:27:26.61 Read Scripture, pray together. 00:27:27.11\00:27:29.24 And continue to just grow and bring the family together again. 00:27:29.58\00:27:33.72 That's what we both believe in, and that's family values. 00:27:34.02\00:27:38.05 Togetherness. 00:27:38.79\00:27:40.12 Family values. I like that. 00:27:40.16\00:27:41.49 Let's say that again. Family values. 00:27:41.52\00:27:43.29 Alright, my future newscaster, journalist. 00:27:43.49\00:27:46.33 I'm going to be looking out for you. 00:27:46.36\00:27:47.96 And we're looking for great things. 00:27:48.10\00:27:49.66 I want to thank you both for being a witness for the Lord, 00:27:49.70\00:27:52.93 for being a part of, Live To Be Well. 00:27:53.13\00:27:55.14 Continue to live to be well. 00:27:55.24\00:27:57.24 And let's not go to the left, to the right, 00:27:57.51\00:27:59.77 but stay straight ahead. 00:27:59.81\00:28:01.21 I'm Dr. Kim. 00:28:01.31\00:28:02.64 Live to be well. God bless. 00:28:02.74\00:28:05.28