Hi, I'm Dr. Kim, and
welcome to Live to be Well.
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Today, on our program,
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we're going to talk
about genuine friendship,
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friendship in a
good healthy marriage.
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Can you be
friends in your marriage?
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I think so.
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I want to welcome
my wonderful guests,
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and they're not just
guests, they're my friends,
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Mr. Marvin and
Dr. Sharon Harrison.
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Welcome to Live to be Well.
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Hey, how you
doing, Kim? How you doing?
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You all right? You all
right? Good, I'm doing fine.
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You're looking good Thank you.
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Well, listen, how long
have you guys been married?
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Thirty years, October, the 27.
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What? 2017.
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Yeah, my goodness.
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All right, well,
let us tell everyone
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how I first met both of you.
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I met Brother
Harrison at the Burns Avenue
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Seventh-day Adventist Church,
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Pastor Marshall T.
Kelly was our pastor.
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But you were my
Sabbath school teacher.
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We used to run off
fast to that balcony,
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get our seats because if
you didn't get there on time,
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you would not have
a seat in your class.
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But it also prepared
us to stay in the church
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but have a
relationship with Jesus
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because of the way
you taught us about Jesus,
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so can you imagine having
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Pastor Marshall T.
Kelly as your pastor,
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and then but the Marvin Harrison
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as your Sabbath school teacher,
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we had the best of
both worlds, all right.
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And we never wanted
to go home, all right.
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Oh, boy. It's wonderful.
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And then, down
the road, I joined,
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I transferred churches,
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and I became a
member of City Temple,
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and I looked up,
and you were there,
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but you had a beautiful
woman with you, all right.
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So let's talk
about how you both met,
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and how you became a
Seventh-day Adventist,
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all right.
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Well, I was student teaching
and Marvin was the art teacher.
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No.
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Oh, this is going to be good.
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It is going to be good,
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so I'm in the
school my first day.
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Yes.
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And this gentleman
comes up to me, and he says,
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"May I see you?"
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And I was like, "Oh, my God.
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I'm only here the first day,
and I'm in trouble already."
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Needless to say I was.
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And so, I thought
he was the principal
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and that I had
done something wrong,
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so I go to him, and
I'm like, you know, "Yes."
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And he's like, "How are
you, what is your name?"
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Don't do that.
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No, he didn't hit on you? Yes.
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Yes, he did. First day.
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First day, you
didn't have a chance.
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No. So what happened?
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So we started talking,
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and I thought he was
just a wonderful gentleman,
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just so nice and
very good looking.
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Yes, yes, yes, yes.
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And so, we actually...
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I think after school,
I went through my day,
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we exchanged numbers,
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and then he came home
with me and met my mom.
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That same day? Yes.
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Oh, my goodness,
you were serious?
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Yeah. Oh, man.
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So then what did mom think?
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Of course, I called
my girlfriends and said,
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"Guess what, I've
got the art teacher."
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These all inside
things I don't know.
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Okay.
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All right, so what
did your mom think?
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Oh, she thought
he was really nice.
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She said, "This is
such a nice, you know, guy."
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You know, we just
instantly became friends,
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just really in-depth
conversations, immediately,
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and you know, just from then,
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and in during my
student teaching at there,
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we were just
very, very good friends.
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So how long did you date
before you became man and wife?
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About a year. About a year.
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But there was a little segue
or little space in between.
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We broke up, no?
Yes, we broke up.
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Okay, calling what
it is, you broke up.
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Well, I thought that she was...
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I really liked her a
lot in terms of love...
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I loved her. Really?
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But I thought she was a
little speedy, you know,
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they used to call fast.
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You know...
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She want, you know,
she want I think party...
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But that wasn't your
scene? That really wasn't me.
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Okay, all right.
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Not that I didn't go
out or anything like that.
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But she was...
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Something about
her that attracted me,
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not only the beauty
but her intelligence.
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She is very intelligent indeed.
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And that's what really captured.
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Can hold a
conversation. Exactly.
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Yes, you know,
beauty inward and outward,
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intellectual beauty.
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'Cause she was only young...
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Well, was 20 something.
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You were 33, and I was about 22.
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I was 33. What?
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Okay. All right,
I forget about it.
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So I was supposed to be.
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That's true. Yes.
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Yeah, there's a
big gap there too.
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Okay.
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All right, so that is your side.
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That is my side. Yeah.
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So you see, right? Yes.
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All the women
wanted to be with Marvin,
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and I think at
that time, I just felt
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that I didn't want to
be part of a community.
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Oh, come on, now,
community... Let him say that.
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Okay, go ahead.
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Yeah, I mean, he was a teacher.
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And so teachers
are mostly women,
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and he was quite
popular, but I will say too,
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I know that he
was way more settled.
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I will agree as
you were saying that,
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he was way more settled
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'cause I was just
coming out of school,
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you know, about to graduate,
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so I really wasn't quite
ready for the seriousness
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of the kind of
relationship that he wanted,
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but I liked that
he was introducing me
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to a different
lifestyle like with Marvin,
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the first time I
had like a big frank,
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you know, that's
a veggie hot dog,
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you know, but he was
into the health message,
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and so, I saw that,
you know, there's something
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very intriguing
about this gentleman.
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You know, he is
handsome, he is a teacher,
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we share this education thing,
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and then he is
also very health minded.
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And I had never met anyone
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that even talked about
health or any other things.
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No, you know... This
is good. This is good.
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So... Go ahead, go ahead.
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So with that space,
we came back together.
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Seven years
later. Seven years later.
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Seven... Now you
want to sneak that in.
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We didn't see each
other for seven years.
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Seven years? Yeah.
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Did you date other people?
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Yes. Yeah.
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Really?
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So how did you get back
together after seven years?
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Well, I saw her
walking down the street.
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Oh, my goodness.
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This is getting
better and better.
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And she had a two...
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Okay. At the ethnic festival.
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At the downtown?
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No, you saw me walking
down the street, right.
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Yeah, right,
with her two nephews.
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Yeah, my nephews. Really?
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You were driving? Was I driving?
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I think so, yeah,
right. And you stopped.
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Yeah. What?
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And you remember and
said, okay, so what did you?
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You parked the car and get out?
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Yeah. Oh, yeah.
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He did. We got back, yeah.
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And that was
the beginning again.
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Okay, but did you give
him a huggie, give me more.
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So you stopped the car, got out,
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and what did you say to her?
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Well, I think that well,
I have to go back and think,
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but, you know,
just regular talking,
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how are you
doing, what you're doing,
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you know, can we
get back together.
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Really? And you received that?
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I did.
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And you both were
free and available?
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Yes. Isn't that something?
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I had to look out 'cause
I was out living on my own
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in my own house.
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Everything, so the break up
was very, you know, amicable.
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It wasn't sour. No,
nothing messy, just.
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Oh, just we're just
going to go our separate ways.
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Yeah, go in our separate ways.
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Okay, so after seven
years, and then what?
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And then I discovered,
when we were talking,
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I discovered
more about her. Yes.
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Her depth, you know, I
said she was intelligent,
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but I saw the
depth because, you know,
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I had
introduced the diet to her.
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Yes.
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I didn't think she
really received it that great.
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Like even when I had almonds,
you've called almonds peanuts,
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now she said
she didn't say that.
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What about them
peanuts, she was thinking?
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I said, "No, those are almonds."
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That's fine. Don't worry about.
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I don't remember the story,
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we'll go and tell the
kids that and everything.
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And I said, "She
remembered that?"
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And then, that shows
me that, "Wow, she..."
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And she talked about my diet.
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And I didn't think she
was really interested in it.
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Wow! And she worked out.
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I tell you, she
worked with Elaine...
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Powell? Yeah, Elaine Powell.
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She was instructor
there. Fitness instructor.
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And I'm telling you,
she was on the money,
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still on the money,
but I'm talking about,
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you know, when you are
younger, you're usually like.
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And so we got together.
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What we did, I would run
four miles from my house.
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I had my own...
What was the year...
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Did I had my
home back then? Yes.
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Yeah, and I run
four miles to her house.
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Wow!
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And then we'll go
and run and workout.
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Oh, yeah.
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And after we worked
out, we will go to the gym,
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and then we will do the...
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The cardio.
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Cardio, not well, we
would do strengthening.
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Lifting and deadweights,
and what do you call,
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free weights
and machine weights.
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And then from... You
were her personal trainer?
00:10:02.23\00:10:03.63
Well, she was on
the money, didn't she?
00:10:07.04\00:10:08.37
Okay, okay.
00:10:08.40\00:10:10.21
And then from
there, we would go,
00:10:10.24\00:10:11.94
there was a Highland Park,
00:10:11.97\00:10:13.31
there was a
track in Highland Park.
00:10:13.34\00:10:14.94
Then we'd go there
and run a few sprints.
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This is all in one day? Yeah.
00:10:16.61\00:10:18.38
Yeah. Oh, my goodness.
00:10:18.41\00:10:19.75
We worked. And
that was our thing.
00:10:19.78\00:10:21.12
That was our day.
That's how we date.
00:10:21.15\00:10:22.68
We didn't like go,
of course, to, you know,
00:10:22.72\00:10:25.32
nightclubs and all of that.
00:10:25.35\00:10:26.76
We worked out.
00:10:26.79\00:10:28.12
And be good
together which doing okay.
00:10:28.16\00:10:30.29
I run over, I'm riding my bike,
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I ride to you
and that's what we do
00:10:32.33\00:10:34.73
in the evenings when we got off
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work is get
together and work out.
00:10:36.30\00:10:38.47
It's so beautiful. It was fun.
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Oh, is it fun, see.
00:10:40.24\00:10:41.57
Couples are going to have fun.
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Yes. So when did you propose?
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I know, I want you...
00:10:48.24\00:10:49.61
You're shooting a
straight arrow, huh.
00:10:49.64\00:10:51.41
After the seven years,
00:10:51.45\00:10:53.01
you get together,
you're working out,
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you join each other,
00:10:55.08\00:10:56.62
did marriage
crossed your mind, Marvin?
00:10:56.65\00:10:58.72
Did it cross your mind?
00:10:58.75\00:11:00.22
Definitely
crossed my mind. Okay.
00:11:00.26\00:11:02.02
Okay. Yes.
00:11:02.06\00:11:03.66
I was ready. You were ready.
00:11:03.69\00:11:05.56
Because I was
ready to have kids,
00:11:05.59\00:11:08.36
I was in my 30s now,
you know, and I'm like,
00:11:08.40\00:11:11.53
you know, already working,
got my career, and I'm like,
00:11:11.57\00:11:16.50
"What are we
going to do, young man?"
00:11:16.54\00:11:19.64
I said, I basically told him
00:11:19.67\00:11:22.28
that he needed
to make up his mind.
00:11:22.31\00:11:24.58
I was kind of
bouncing around actually.
00:11:24.61\00:11:26.88
Yes. I'm being honest with you.
00:11:26.92\00:11:28.25
You were bouncing
around, what do you mean?
00:11:28.28\00:11:29.85
But not with other women,
00:11:29.88\00:11:31.22
but just toying with the
idea of marriage, marriage.
00:11:31.25\00:11:34.79
Let's make it clear. Okay.
00:11:34.82\00:11:36.89
You are
one-woman man. That was it.
00:11:36.93\00:11:40.06
And I decided that
I wanted to move on
00:11:40.10\00:11:43.93
that he seemed comfortable
with the relationship as it was
00:11:43.97\00:11:47.87
but that I wanted more,
and so I said, you know,
00:11:47.90\00:11:51.54
"I'm not going to,
I just said him out,
00:11:51.57\00:11:53.91
I'm not going to
hang around forever.
00:11:53.94\00:11:55.61
You need to make up your
mind what you want to do."
00:11:55.64\00:11:57.48
Yes. Ultimatum.
00:11:57.51\00:11:59.81
Yeah, yeah.
00:11:59.85\00:12:03.72
One day, I just say,
00:12:03.75\00:12:05.09
"Hey, Sharon,
would you marry me?"
00:12:05.12\00:12:09.36
And so we got together...
00:12:13.06\00:12:14.86
and I was concerned
about her religion, her faith.
00:12:18.10\00:12:23.77
And because that's one thing
00:12:23.81\00:12:25.94
that I didn't negotiate on,
00:12:25.97\00:12:32.01
but yet I was open
00:12:32.05\00:12:36.02
because I know there
would be discrepancy.
00:12:36.05\00:12:38.35
If I had married someone
who had a different diet,
00:12:38.39\00:12:41.82
we will have children, you know,
00:12:41.86\00:12:43.43
that would be an issue there.
00:12:43.46\00:12:45.73
Yeah.
00:12:45.76\00:12:47.10
And we have different
understanding of salvation,
00:12:47.13\00:12:51.37
in God, Christ, there
would be an issue there.
00:12:51.40\00:12:54.64
But you did marry me
before I joined the church.
00:12:54.67\00:12:57.97
And that's where
I'm getting there.
00:12:58.01\00:12:59.34
Yeah, but I did marry
her before she joined church.
00:13:03.04\00:13:06.28
Now why did I do
that? Why did you do that?
00:13:06.31\00:13:08.42
Because I saw it...
00:13:08.45\00:13:09.78
she is extremely
intelligent person,
00:13:12.92\00:13:15.06
and I knew that
there was going to be
00:13:15.09\00:13:20.13
a time when she
was going to get it
00:13:20.16\00:13:23.67
because just the direction...
00:13:23.70\00:13:25.97
She was analytical,
she was compassionate,
00:13:26.00\00:13:29.64
she was philosophical,
00:13:29.67\00:13:32.71
she thought, she was a thinker,
00:13:32.74\00:13:37.25
you know, even if she come out
00:13:37.28\00:13:38.61
with something that
necessarily was impromptu
00:13:38.65\00:13:42.05
and not thoroughly thought
out and want to argue about it.
00:13:42.08\00:13:45.89
Yes. I can see that.
00:13:45.92\00:13:49.69
But she will come
back... Come back.
00:13:49.72\00:13:51.76
Later, and that attracted me.
00:13:51.79\00:13:55.56
Because she would
obviously go through herself
00:13:55.60\00:13:58.50
somewhere and reason it out.
00:13:58.53\00:13:59.97
Said, "Okay, yeah, Marvin,
00:14:00.00\00:14:01.34
yeah, I kind of
see that," you know.
00:14:01.37\00:14:03.24
Well, let me tell
you about the first time
00:14:03.27\00:14:04.61
he told me about the Sabbath.
00:14:04.64\00:14:05.97
Tell me about that?
00:14:06.01\00:14:07.34
We were actually on
our way to the beach,
00:14:07.38\00:14:08.71
and I don't know how it
came, we were talking religion,
00:14:08.74\00:14:11.18
and he says, "You know,
the Sabbath is Saturday."
00:14:11.21\00:14:15.12
I said, "What?"
00:14:15.15\00:14:17.05
He said, "You know, when
people go to church on Sunday,
00:14:17.09\00:14:20.39
that's not the right day."
00:14:20.42\00:14:22.29
I said, "Now
how do only you know
00:14:22.32\00:14:24.89
that 'cause I have
never heard of it."
00:14:24.93\00:14:26.33
Is it really? No!
00:14:26.36\00:14:27.70
Never, you never heard
of Seventh-day Adventist?
00:14:27.73\00:14:29.16
No. Wow!
00:14:29.20\00:14:30.70
I was Baptist at
that time, and I said,
00:14:30.73\00:14:33.37
"How could you only know this
and the whole United States,
00:14:33.40\00:14:36.04
world does not know this."
00:14:36.07\00:14:38.47
See what I had to deal with.
00:14:38.51\00:14:39.84
And he was like but it is.
00:14:39.87\00:14:42.28
He says, "You
just need to study."
00:14:42.31\00:14:44.15
And what I liked about
that is he really did not
00:14:44.18\00:14:48.28
just keep coming at
me with that message.
00:14:48.32\00:14:52.09
He said that,
and he left it there
00:14:52.12\00:14:54.89
for me to deal with myself
00:14:54.92\00:14:58.03
and we weren't
married when he told me that.
00:14:58.06\00:15:00.46
But, you know, I just remembered
00:15:00.50\00:15:04.17
that even in my witnessing,
00:15:04.20\00:15:06.13
I try to have that same approach
00:15:06.17\00:15:08.24
that Marvin had with me
because he did not ram that...
00:15:08.27\00:15:11.74
The fruit of the spirits.
00:15:11.77\00:15:13.11
The doctrine, yeah,
down my throat which was up,
00:15:13.14\00:15:15.88
he just was very calm,
00:15:15.91\00:15:17.71
and say and I just could
not believe this was true.
00:15:17.75\00:15:20.38
How can everybody not
even talk about this thing
00:15:20.42\00:15:23.28
that you're talking about.
00:15:23.32\00:15:25.15
That does not sound right.
00:15:25.19\00:15:28.16
So from there,
you're now married.
00:15:28.19\00:15:31.09
And how soon after,
00:15:31.13\00:15:33.06
did you accept the
Seventh-day Adventist message?
00:15:33.09\00:15:35.60
Well, I was actually...
00:15:35.63\00:15:38.10
After we got married,
00:15:38.13\00:15:39.47
I was still going
to church on Sunday,
00:15:39.50\00:15:42.00
and I would ask him to
go with me, he said, "No."
00:15:42.04\00:15:45.24
He would not
go. He would not go.
00:15:45.27\00:15:47.28
Oh, my gosh, you
know, what gotten into him.
00:15:47.31\00:15:50.11
You know, what's going to
happen with this marriage.
00:15:50.15\00:15:51.51
I worried for a minute
00:15:51.55\00:15:52.88
because I was singing
in the choir at this church
00:15:52.91\00:15:55.08
and very involved, and I
said, "Marvin, are you going?"
00:15:55.12\00:15:58.89
He said, "No." I was
like, "Oh, my goodness."
00:15:58.92\00:16:01.39
So, you know, it
was the Easter weekend,
00:16:01.42\00:16:04.33
and I was studying
my Sunday school lesson,
00:16:04.36\00:16:07.23
and it said in writing,
00:16:07.26\00:16:09.20
I'm in the middle of the night
00:16:09.23\00:16:10.57
like studying my lesson it says,
00:16:10.60\00:16:12.40
"Jesus rested in the
tomb on the Sabbath."
00:16:12.43\00:16:15.00
And I sat up. In your lesson?
00:16:15.04\00:16:17.31
Yes.
00:16:17.34\00:16:20.21
Won't God do it? Yes.
00:16:20.24\00:16:21.74
I'm telling you.
00:16:21.78\00:16:23.11
And I'm like, "This is
what he's talking about."
00:16:23.14\00:16:26.01
So I run
downstairs to the library,
00:16:26.05\00:16:28.02
and I'm pulling all
the encyclopedias out,
00:16:28.05\00:16:30.72
looking up the Sabbath,
00:16:30.75\00:16:32.59
like what is going on
00:16:32.62\00:16:34.86
that this is in a
Sunday school book,
00:16:34.89\00:16:37.49
and they're not
respecting this commandment,
00:16:37.53\00:16:40.96
so I remember a
very spiritual experience
00:16:41.00\00:16:45.30
that evening that
00:16:45.33\00:16:47.04
it seemed like it was
just starry in the room,
00:16:47.07\00:16:49.70
and I sat up there and
said, "Lord, I understand,
00:16:49.74\00:16:53.81
I see what you're
talking about, you know,"
00:16:53.84\00:16:56.98
and he came in later,
and I said, "I got it."
00:16:57.01\00:17:01.38
Yeah, she was in...
00:17:01.42\00:17:03.75
She said, "I got it."
00:17:03.79\00:17:05.89
And you're like,
"What you got it?"
00:17:05.92\00:17:07.26
Right. Right.
00:17:07.29\00:17:09.12
I got it. I got it.
00:17:09.16\00:17:10.49
Just like that. Yeah.
00:17:10.53\00:17:12.26
And so we went to the church,
00:17:12.29\00:17:13.63
I think the next
week or the next day,
00:17:13.66\00:17:15.53
I said, "What kind of church,
00:17:15.56\00:17:16.90
where is your
church, where do we go?"
00:17:16.93\00:17:19.63
So you see what I
mean in terms of her...
00:17:19.67\00:17:21.60
I mean, I can't...
00:17:21.64\00:17:22.97
You had that faith, you
believed in that witness.
00:17:23.00\00:17:26.98
You know, it reminds
me of Arthur and I...
00:17:27.01\00:17:28.61
When I...
00:17:28.64\00:17:29.98
And he came into the
church, when I first met him,
00:17:30.01\00:17:32.25
but I waited, you know,
00:17:32.28\00:17:33.62
the three years
before we married,
00:17:33.65\00:17:36.18
but he, I introduced it
to him, I gave him the Bible,
00:17:36.22\00:17:39.85
I gave him certain
books, and he came back to me,
00:17:39.89\00:17:44.49
and he says,
"I'm done with shrimp,
00:17:44.53\00:17:47.06
I'm done with lobster,
00:17:47.10\00:17:48.53
I'm done with it
'cause it was right there
00:17:48.56\00:17:50.60
in the Book of Leviticus."
00:17:50.63\00:17:52.03
And I was praying,
and he said, the Sabbath,
00:17:52.07\00:17:56.50
and I remember writing
down he died on Friday,
00:17:56.54\00:18:00.38
he rose on Sunday, I said,
00:18:00.41\00:18:01.94
"But what did
he do on Saturday?"
00:18:01.98\00:18:04.08
And he said, "He rested."
00:18:04.11\00:18:06.05
And I said, "Arthur, He
could have sent 10,000 angels,
00:18:06.08\00:18:08.92
but He had to set the example."
00:18:08.95\00:18:10.92
Arthur said right
there, "He says I'm all in."
00:18:10.95\00:18:14.19
Amen. Isn't that something?
00:18:14.22\00:18:15.56
Isn't that something? Yes.
00:18:15.59\00:18:16.99
And was there, and, you know,
and you were witness to him,
00:18:17.03\00:18:21.80
and you mentored him.
00:18:21.83\00:18:23.37
Praise the Lord.
00:18:23.40\00:18:24.73
And so together, so
let's look at now, married,
00:18:24.77\00:18:29.57
Seventh-day Adventist,
00:18:29.60\00:18:32.41
but I noticed
that you didn't take
00:18:32.44\00:18:34.11
your jewelry off
for a little while.
00:18:34.14\00:18:36.28
Did you struggle
with that a little bit?
00:18:36.31\00:18:37.85
I did.
00:18:37.88\00:18:39.21
Actually, I decided
I would wear my jewelry
00:18:39.25\00:18:41.85
to church the
day I got baptized,
00:18:41.88\00:18:43.52
I said, "This can't be."
00:18:43.55\00:18:44.89
I remember that too.
00:18:44.92\00:18:46.45
Everybody was like, "Did
she put a jewelry back on?"
00:18:46.49\00:18:49.12
Folk was whispering.
00:18:49.16\00:18:50.63
They need to let
these folks know,
00:18:50.66\00:18:52.13
you don't put
your jewelry back on.
00:18:52.16\00:18:53.90
And you came back out and
sat there with your jewelry on.
00:18:53.93\00:18:57.17
I sure did. I
remember that Sabbath.
00:18:57.20\00:18:59.47
I know, what was I
thinking? I don't know.
00:18:59.50\00:19:03.27
So I walk in, I just decided
I'm gonna wear my jewelry
00:19:03.30\00:19:06.04
to baptism, you know,
00:19:06.07\00:19:07.71
that just shows you how
the devil can confuse you.
00:19:07.74\00:19:11.08
And so, I guessed it probably
was a meeting of the elders.
00:19:11.11\00:19:14.02
And they came out and they said,
00:19:14.05\00:19:15.42
"Can we see you for a moment."
00:19:15.45\00:19:16.85
Yes, dingle it all the way back.
00:19:16.89\00:19:20.16
And they said,
00:19:20.19\00:19:21.92
"You're going to need
to take your jewelry off?"
00:19:21.96\00:19:23.59
I said, "Why?"
00:19:23.63\00:19:24.96
And so, Pastor Harris
is who... That Mark, yes.
00:19:24.99\00:19:27.76
He said, "Now you
can do one of two things.
00:19:27.80\00:19:30.20
You can wear that jewelry
00:19:30.23\00:19:32.40
or you can give
it all up for Jesus."
00:19:32.43\00:19:35.07
That's all he said, I went.
00:19:35.10\00:19:37.17
I took it off and
never put it back on.
00:19:37.21\00:19:39.51
And you haven't? No.
00:19:39.54\00:19:40.88
Praise the Lord. I've been...
00:19:40.91\00:19:42.24
I'll watch you.
00:19:42.28\00:19:43.88
Praise the Lord. Yes.
00:19:43.91\00:19:45.61
So then after that,
rooted in the church,
00:19:45.65\00:19:48.25
very, very busy church,
children came along, children,
00:19:48.28\00:19:52.22
you have two
beautiful daughters.
00:19:52.25\00:19:54.56
Eve has just
completed her Batchelor's degree
00:19:54.59\00:19:58.36
from Andrews
University in mortuary science.
00:19:58.39\00:20:00.83
How did you feel when she says,
00:20:00.86\00:20:02.26
"This is what I want to do now?"
00:20:02.30\00:20:04.43
You know, 'cause she went
to Oakwood, and it didn't work,
00:20:04.47\00:20:09.40
brought her back home,
and God led her to this,
00:20:09.44\00:20:12.57
so how did you feel about that?
00:20:12.61\00:20:14.44
We were little concerned
at first because, you know,
00:20:14.48\00:20:17.48
it's just a really,
heavy emotional field.
00:20:17.51\00:20:20.85
And I just want to
make sure she was, you know,
00:20:20.88\00:20:22.68
could handle that
all the time, you know,
00:20:22.72\00:20:26.25
handle death all the
time, so we just watched her,
00:20:26.29\00:20:29.82
making sure she's sleeping,
making sure she's eating,
00:20:29.86\00:20:32.23
I even ask her,
"How are you sleeping?"
00:20:32.26\00:20:35.86
But, you know, she
wanted to be a physician,
00:20:35.90\00:20:37.87
and then she
wanted to be special in...
00:20:37.90\00:20:39.53
She wanted to
do plastic surgery,
00:20:39.57\00:20:41.97
then she wanted to do
special education like me.
00:20:42.00\00:20:44.84
And so I think...
00:20:44.87\00:20:46.21
And then she's just
artistic like her dad,
00:20:46.24\00:20:48.38
so I think all of
those that caring,
00:20:48.41\00:20:50.48
compassionate part and that art
00:20:50.51\00:20:52.78
is what she brings into how she,
00:20:52.81\00:20:55.38
you know, to the mortuary side.
00:20:55.42\00:20:56.75
And, you know, I didn't
think about that all day,
00:20:56.79\00:20:58.82
you're not just there
greeting the families,
00:20:58.85\00:21:01.12
you know, overseeing, you know,
00:21:01.16\00:21:03.02
the person to
family members loved one,
00:21:03.06\00:21:05.79
but you are constantly
going to the services,
00:21:05.83\00:21:08.53
you are going to
cemetery, that is a lot.
00:21:08.56\00:21:12.57
So we know that God is leading
00:21:12.60\00:21:14.37
because you
have raised her well.
00:21:14.40\00:21:16.74
And so, we praise
God because, you know,
00:21:16.77\00:21:19.11
and I don't mean
to say this joke,
00:21:19.14\00:21:20.48
but somebody got to do it.
00:21:20.51\00:21:22.08
And if it's not Michael,
00:21:22.11\00:21:23.45
and I pray the
Lord for Eve here.
00:21:23.48\00:21:25.35
Amen. Amen.
00:21:25.38\00:21:26.72
And now Eden, you know,
00:21:26.75\00:21:28.08
we interviewed Eden,
and we thank the Lord,
00:21:28.12\00:21:30.22
and she's going
into her second year?
00:21:30.25\00:21:32.02
Yes. On the dean's
list. Bauman College.
00:21:32.05\00:21:34.56
You know, on the dean's list,
00:21:34.59\00:21:36.22
you know, in
Atlanta, do you miss her?
00:21:36.26\00:21:37.79
Oh, yes.
00:21:37.83\00:21:41.50
Go ahead.
00:21:41.53\00:21:44.43
You know, she skipped a grade.
00:21:44.47\00:21:45.80
Yes, I remember that.
00:21:45.83\00:21:48.97
She didn't want anybody to
know that she was only what...
00:21:49.00\00:21:53.14
How old is she? She's 16.
00:21:53.17\00:21:54.54
It happened
probably when she's like...
00:21:54.58\00:21:55.91
Yeah, yeah, 16.
00:21:55.94\00:21:57.28
She didn't want
people to know she was 15
00:21:57.31\00:21:58.91
and thinking
everybody else was older.
00:21:58.95\00:22:01.02
Older, right. But
when she got to...
00:22:01.05\00:22:03.95
When she left the high
school, went to Spellman,
00:22:03.99\00:22:06.96
she didn't miss a beat.
00:22:06.99\00:22:08.32
Just blossomed. Oh, boy.
00:22:08.36\00:22:09.69
She's already
blossomed now, you know.
00:22:09.72\00:22:12.03
You know, each
child is different.
00:22:12.06\00:22:13.96
Eden...
00:22:14.00\00:22:15.33
Eve is a very deep
thinker, Eden is also,
00:22:15.36\00:22:21.70
but Eden is more like focus
00:22:21.74\00:22:27.08
and on to it all the time.
00:22:27.11\00:22:29.14
All the time. Yeah,
and at the beginning.
00:22:29.18\00:22:31.01
That's really
the difference there,
00:22:34.55\00:22:36.69
but Eve, she's
all medical material.
00:22:36.72\00:22:42.79
You know, all
doctor whatever feel.
00:22:42.82\00:22:45.89
But she said,
well, should I say that?
00:22:45.93\00:22:47.86
I don't know what
you're going to say.
00:22:47.90\00:22:49.83
She said she rather
deal with people than...
00:22:49.86\00:22:54.84
Deceased versus
person being alive.
00:22:54.87\00:22:56.20
Yeah, right, right,
00:22:56.24\00:22:57.57
rather than deal
with those personalities.
00:22:57.61\00:22:58.94
Yeah.
00:22:58.97\00:23:00.38
Ever since she was young, she...
00:23:00.41\00:23:04.15
She went to the
university college
00:23:04.18\00:23:07.55
when she took the
college courses and she was 14.
00:23:07.58\00:23:10.65
Yeah, she was
with nursing students,
00:23:10.69\00:23:12.69
students and everything.
00:23:12.72\00:23:14.06
So she's always enjoyed
the medical field like that?
00:23:14.09\00:23:16.12
Yes. The sciences.
00:23:16.16\00:23:17.73
Yeah, she's a scientist.
00:23:17.76\00:23:20.43
How do you
handle the challenges?
00:23:20.46\00:23:22.86
I mean, this
beautiful marriage relationship,
00:23:22.90\00:23:25.57
you know, but how do
you handle your challenges
00:23:25.60\00:23:28.97
or your differences?
00:23:29.00\00:23:30.91
Between the two of us.
00:23:30.94\00:23:32.27
Yes, between the two of you
00:23:32.31\00:23:33.64
'cause there are
no perfect people now.
00:23:33.68\00:23:35.01
That's true. No
perfect marriages.
00:23:35.04\00:23:36.38
Correct.
00:23:36.41\00:23:37.75
And I know how
strong willed she is.
00:23:37.78\00:23:39.81
Girl, we're two of a kind. Yes.
00:23:39.85\00:23:42.08
I told after that too.
00:23:42.12\00:23:46.96
I'll have to say
he is patient. Yes.
00:23:46.99\00:23:49.36
And that he is so patient.
00:23:49.39\00:23:52.89
It's nothing but the Holy Spirit
00:23:52.93\00:23:54.46
that gives him that patience.
00:23:54.50\00:23:56.67
And that's an example for me
00:23:56.70\00:23:58.77
because I'm not the
most patient person.
00:23:58.80\00:24:02.64
And so I always have to go back
00:24:02.67\00:24:04.61
and get on my knees and
pray and review the day,
00:24:04.64\00:24:08.31
and say, "You
know, what did I do,
00:24:08.34\00:24:09.84
what did I say, what
could I have done bad."
00:24:09.88\00:24:11.65
Because I see so
much love coming out of,
00:24:11.68\00:24:15.32
it just bleeds like love
and patience and kindness
00:24:15.35\00:24:19.49
like I was saying the other day,
00:24:19.52\00:24:21.82
my water was
upstairs next to the bed,
00:24:21.86\00:24:23.83
and I was like, "I don't
like my water uncovered."
00:24:23.86\00:24:26.23
I looked and
sometimes it'll make me weak
00:24:29.83\00:24:32.23
when I see him do little things,
00:24:32.27\00:24:33.94
and I was like, "Now,
you know, go and get me,
00:24:33.97\00:24:36.10
just put a little top on
my water next to the bed."
00:24:36.14\00:24:40.08
And that's just how he is,
00:24:40.11\00:24:42.11
you know, we fast
forward to the children which,
00:24:42.14\00:24:44.31
you know, I had, I lost two sons
00:24:44.35\00:24:47.08
when we first got married,
00:24:47.12\00:24:49.25
and one of the
things that touched my heart
00:24:49.28\00:24:51.25
so is that all the weeping,
00:24:51.29\00:24:53.15
he never got tired of me crying.
00:24:53.19\00:24:56.16
You know, how
some people will say,
00:24:56.19\00:24:57.63
"Now you've cried about that."
00:24:57.66\00:24:59.19
But every time I
would cry, he would hold me,
00:24:59.23\00:25:01.66
and every time I
want to talk about it,
00:25:01.70\00:25:03.53
he would, you know, listen
00:25:03.57\00:25:05.63
and that's what we do
when we have a problem.
00:25:05.67\00:25:07.17
It's not always
an easy conversation,
00:25:07.20\00:25:09.47
but we'll say, "Now you
know why I didn't like it
00:25:09.50\00:25:11.07
when you did
that or I didn't like,
00:25:11.11\00:25:12.44
you know, well, you know,"
and then we won't even bring,
00:25:12.47\00:25:14.81
well, God may not want to know,
00:25:14.84\00:25:16.85
sometime we make a
mistake and bring him in,
00:25:16.88\00:25:18.61
but we try to make
sure that we talk it out.
00:25:18.65\00:25:22.52
That's how you do it. Yes.
00:25:22.55\00:25:23.92
We pray together.
00:25:23.95\00:25:25.69
We study the
Word. We study the Word.
00:25:25.72\00:25:27.46
And see you in Sabbath
school, you know, a blessing.
00:25:27.49\00:25:30.83
How do... Are
you still athletic?
00:25:30.86\00:25:33.03
Are you still running
and doing all those things?
00:25:33.06\00:25:34.40
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
00:25:34.43\00:25:35.76
You know, praise God,
00:25:35.80\00:25:38.93
you know, you enjoy traveling?
00:25:38.97\00:25:40.57
Yes. You do that.
00:25:40.60\00:25:42.14
Now I remember when you
introduce the health message,
00:25:42.17\00:25:44.21
we have about two minutes,
00:25:44.24\00:25:45.77
and we weren't
ready to receive it,
00:25:45.81\00:25:47.44
but I truly receive it now.
00:25:47.48\00:25:49.98
And it changed my
life in every aspect.
00:25:50.01\00:25:53.72
I want to ask, this is
a very sensitive question,
00:25:53.75\00:25:57.19
I remember you
coming to the house,
00:25:57.22\00:25:58.75
and you were sitting
with me there on the floor,
00:25:58.79\00:26:01.06
laughing and making sure
I ate after Arthur passed.
00:26:01.09\00:26:04.19
And your mother,
00:26:04.23\00:26:06.83
I know we were there
at your mother's services,
00:26:06.86\00:26:09.50
how did your husband
help you through that?
00:26:09.53\00:26:13.50
I know it's hard
'cause you loved your mother.
00:26:13.54\00:26:16.40
I did.
00:26:16.44\00:26:17.77
He loved my mother,
and my mother loved him,
00:26:17.81\00:26:21.41
and, you know, he took
care of my mother just like,
00:26:21.44\00:26:25.41
one of the
things with my mother,
00:26:25.45\00:26:26.78
she ended up, her heart stopped,
00:26:26.82\00:26:28.25
and so she didn't know
she has some brain injury,
00:26:28.28\00:26:32.39
and she didn't even know me,
00:26:32.42\00:26:34.06
but when he walked in the room,
00:26:34.09\00:26:36.12
she said, "There
is my son-in-law."
00:26:36.16\00:26:37.73
I said what's
his name, "Marvin."
00:26:37.76\00:26:39.43
I said who is
that, "My son-in-law."
00:26:39.46\00:26:41.66
So out of all the people,
she remembered her son-in-law.
00:26:41.70\00:26:46.33
And just that tenderness again
around caring for my mother,
00:26:46.37\00:26:51.17
caring for me,
taking her to dialysis,
00:26:51.21\00:26:54.54
and even with my dad now.
00:26:54.58\00:26:56.04
I mean, he took care of my dad
00:26:56.08\00:26:57.91
like he was his father.
00:26:57.95\00:27:00.05
And you're still
right there together.
00:27:00.08\00:27:02.02
I cannot believe
how fast this went.
00:27:02.05\00:27:04.05
I mean, this is amazing,
we have about 56 minutes...
00:27:04.09\00:27:07.32
Seconds, 56
seconds, closing thoughts,
00:27:07.36\00:27:10.96
how to have genuine
friendship in a marriage?
00:27:10.99\00:27:14.46
Talk.
00:27:14.50\00:27:16.06
Make sure you have fun together.
00:27:16.10\00:27:18.30
This is my best friend.
00:27:18.33\00:27:19.67
I don't really talk to like,
00:27:19.70\00:27:21.67
you know, people
have girlfriends and all.
00:27:21.70\00:27:23.74
If I got a problem, this
is who I'm going to talk to.
00:27:23.77\00:27:26.88
So he is my best friend.
00:27:26.91\00:27:28.41
Okay, Marvin.
00:27:28.44\00:27:30.01
Well, my wife...
00:27:30.05\00:27:32.41
Just be willing to listen,
00:27:32.45\00:27:36.08
and not to just take your stand,
00:27:36.12\00:27:38.99
and to be open, and...
00:27:39.02\00:27:43.26
That's it.
00:27:43.29\00:27:44.63
And even if you
feel that you're right,
00:27:44.66\00:27:48.96
allow space there for your mate.
00:27:49.00\00:27:53.34
Your mate.
00:27:53.37\00:27:54.70
And let the voice be
heard and respect it.
00:27:54.74\00:27:57.41
Well, I hope all of
you that are watching today
00:27:57.44\00:28:00.61
that you truly can
look at your relationship
00:28:00.64\00:28:02.81
and find genuine friendship.
00:28:02.84\00:28:04.68
I'm Dr. Kim, I want to
thank you both for being with us
00:28:04.71\00:28:07.48
on Live to be Well.
00:28:07.52\00:28:09.02
Remember, there's genuine
friendship in a marriage.
00:28:09.05\00:28:12.75
God bless.
00:28:12.79\00:28:14.12