Hi, I'm Dr. Kim
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and welcome to Live to be Well.
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Today on our Program,
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we're going to be talking
about: Positive Reflections.
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I want to welcome my guest
today, Ki'Rah Tyus, welcome.
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Hi, thank you for having me.
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Oh, my little baby,
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I should let them
know that I met you
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when you were
just four years old
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and you were a part of our
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"God's Hands of
Praise" Sign Language Choir...
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and you and your sister,
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so how are you?
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I'm doing good,
everything is good,
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can't complain
about nothing now.
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You know what?
Wouldn't change anything
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because
everything's in God's hands.
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Yes Ma'am.
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You know, you're
just another old soul
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I have to say, all right,
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so, oh, something just recently
happened, what happened?
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Recently happened...
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I had my conference
with my girls' group...
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Infinity Girls... it was called
The Free Indeed Conference
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and we just
basically talked about
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increasing your
relationship with God
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and how important it is to
keep yourself until marriage
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and knowing your self-worth
so it was an awesome time,
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the ladies were... they
were blessed with the conference
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and everything... it
was just really good...
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people were saying, "I'm
so excited about next year"
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so, we're in the process
of planning for next year
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but other than
that, it was awesome...
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I'm very satisfied for
what God did for my first one,
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it was our first
one... so it was awesome.
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It was awesome...
now you also recently
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graduated with
your Associate's Degree.
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Yes ma'am.
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Let's talk about that and
what was your field of study?
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Okay, so, I did go to
the Community College first,
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it's cheaper to go that way
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than going
straight to university.
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I graduated from OCC
with my Associate's in...
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And that's
Oakwood Community College.
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Yes, Oakwood Community College
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with my
Associate's in Applied Arts
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that just took care
of all my prerequisites
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for my Nursing School
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because I want to get my
Bachelor of Science in Nursing
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and then, I would be
going to Oakwood University
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to get my Nurse
Practitioner Degree.
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So, you are
interested in nursing,
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why do you want to be a nurse?
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Ever since, I was a young girl,
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I've always wanted to
be in the medical field
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rather, it was
helping animals...
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I went from a Vet to a
Pediatrician to NCC ideas...
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whatever it was... it was
always within the medical field
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because I love helping people
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and I love helping
people feel better,
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you know, so my
mom owns a Daycare
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and everything like that...
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so, when the little kids
would get hurt, I'm like,
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"Send them to me... I
want to make sure they're okay"
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then I'd go ahead
put a Band-Aid on it
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but, "Okay, come see Dr. Ki'Rah"
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I've always
wanted to be that person
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that people can
come to and be like,
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"I know that she
can take care of me,
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I know that she can
make me feel better"
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so, the field that I
wanted to go into is nursing
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because nurses are the
ones that are usually...
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are the ones like,
face-to-face with people...
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That's true... that's true.
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and helping people
making sure that they are okay
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and taking care
of everything so...
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and a Nurse Practitioner
is like the highest nurse
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that you can go
into and what not, so...
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Does that require a
Master's degree and everything?
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Yes, so you will
basically get you BS
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and then you would go to
Nurse Practitioner School
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so, yeah, different segments
or different places you can go.
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I can work with
the heart, diabetes...
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it doesn't matter which
field I want to go into,
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pediatrics is where
I will want to go to.
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Okay, you love the children.
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Yes, so, working like
in Children's Hospital
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or working in the
Pediatrics office,
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working with
kids and their care.
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Our topic today
is: Positive Reflection
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and we tend to look at
our peers or family members...
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our relationships...
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who has been your
positive reflection?
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And I know you are a
Christian young woman
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and you tickle me when you say,
"Ever since I was a young girl"
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like you're 90
years old, all right,
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I'm telling you... okay...
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so, who do you
reflect your character through
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and let's talk
about Jesus Christ first
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and then your Godly parents.
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Okay. Kim: All right.
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So, I've always been
in church all my life
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I accepted Christ when I
was around 3... 4 years old,
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and it was a
choice I made on my own...
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I came to my dad and
said, "Dad, I'm ready...
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I want to know God more, I want
to be a part of church more"
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and everything like that
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so, ever since I made
that connection for myself,
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I've always been trying
to just know more about God
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for myself,
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it's not that my
parents forced me,
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it's not that
someone was telling me,
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"You have to be a
part of the church"
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even though I knew that
was the right thing to do,
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it was still my
choice to make that decision.
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and a positive... I
always wanted to make sure
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that wherever I go,
people will see God in me first,
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I don't want them to see Ki'Rah,
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even when I pray, I say,
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"God, decrease me so that
you may increase in my life
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so when people see me
they see your light...
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they see your grace...
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they see your
mercy upon my life"
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and so I want...
when people see me,
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I want them, like,
"What is on you, I want that"
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you know,
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and I want people to
make sure they see me
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so any decision that I
make... anything that I say,
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anything that I do,
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I want to make sure that it
is pleasing in God's eyes first
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because at the end of the day,
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I'm not here to
please anyone else but Him,
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I realized that at a young age.
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Well, let me ask you
this, that's a lot of pressure.
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It is.
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And you know, you
have people looking at you
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and it's like
you're under a microscope
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you can't make a mistake
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and so, how do you
deal with the challenges
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or, that type of
shifting where...
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"All right, when I
walk into a place...
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or I'm in a place where
people know who I am... "
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it's like, "Okay... "
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because if this is something you
do every day, 24 hours a day...
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then it's there
in your character.
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All right, so it
doesn't come off, does it?
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No.
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Our walk with Christ should be
with us at all times, all right,
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so, what are the
challenges you face
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because you're 20 years old
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you know, so, you're
not into night clubs.
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No.
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You're not out
there doing things,
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you're still a virgin.
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Yes, I am.
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Yeah, all right,
and you're proud of it.
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I am... I am very
proud of it because it's...
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it's a... you don't find
it in a lot of young women
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now in our
generation who hold that
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and want to hold it
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because they don't
realize how important it is,
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you only have it
one time... you know...
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so, why... you know...
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why not wait until the one
that God wants you to be with
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for the rest of your life
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but the pressure... and you
know how I deal with that...
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it's very... I mean
it can get hard at times
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because in our generation,
it's all about judgment,
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how you look... what you say...
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who you hang out
with... what do you do?
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But I realize that
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I don't really care
what people think about me
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as long as I know
I'm good in God's eyes,
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so, when I would go to
school, I was always the one
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that was like... by myself...
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or I had very,
very little friends
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because everyone
else wanted to do...
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they wanted to
smoke... they wanted to party...
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they wanted to
do things like that
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and I'm like,
"That's not in me... "
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and if they try to put me in...
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I'm like, "I don't even feel
comfortable talking about it. "
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So there was some peer pressure.
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Yes, there was peer
pressure, but when it happened,
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I'm like, "I don't
even feel comfortable,
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I don't even feel right,
it's not something that I... "
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and I'm never ever
going to do anything
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that I don't feel right doing
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and if it's not something that
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will put a
positive reflection on me,
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or on a guy and my parents...
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I'm not going to do it
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because when
people think about you,
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first impression is everything
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and you want to make sure
that you leave a positive mark
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and a positive... a
positive look upon yourself
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towards other people.
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Because you can't
change that, you know,
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first impressions are lasting
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and once they meet you as
you walk through the door,
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"Hi, how are you?
It's nice to meet you. "
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Yes ma'am.
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So, that's my first impression
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and I remember when you came
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to my home for the first time
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and I was like,
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"What's going on
with this little girl"
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and your parents
walked through my home
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you looked everywhere...
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and they were comfortable,
they stayed for a few minutes
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and it's like... they went
out on a date night, all right,
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left the two of you all with me,
all right... and Elder Nowlin,
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so, let's talk about how
you present yourself in dress
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because Society now says,
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"We need to
just be half naked. "
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Right...
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How would you dress, I
mean, I look at you now
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just beautifully dressed.
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Yes ma'am, when I
think about how I dress,
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I always want to make sure
that it's never too revealing
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that it always holds up
the standard of a young lady...
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a young woman...
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I don't want people
to see me as... like a...
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when people look at
me, I want them to be like,
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"That young lady has pride,
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that young lady
thinks well of herself,
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that young lady
takes care of herself... "
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or "that young lady thinks
that she is worth something"
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because when you show your body
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when you have
shorts on that's too short
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or when you have tube tops
on and everything like that,
00:09:25.73\00:09:28.86
you're giving the...
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you're not giving that
feeling or wanting to like,
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"I want to know more about
her" you know what I'm saying?
00:09:35.20\00:09:37.61
Like, when you show your...
when you show everything,
00:09:37.64\00:09:40.01
they're like,
"That's how she is"
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or, you know, like, they
can just put on a type of...
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they can think
something about you
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because you're showing
everything to the world already.
00:09:45.88\00:09:48.48
They'll date you...
men will date you...
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"Oh, you look
good... you're sexy... "
00:09:51.12\00:09:53.29
Right.
00:09:53.32\00:09:54.66
"You're this and that... "
00:09:54.69\00:09:56.02
but they won't take you
home to meet their mother.
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Right...
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Because they know...
00:09:58.79\00:10:00.13
I wish my son would
bring someone to my home
00:10:00.16\00:10:02.20
with some shorts
on... and a tube top...
00:10:02.23\00:10:06.57
I'm like, "If you don't
take her out of my house... "
00:10:06.60\00:10:08.47
Exactly...
00:10:08.50\00:10:09.84
But I want to be a
Christian and I want to be...
00:10:09.87\00:10:11.74
maybe I can sit
down and talk with her
00:10:11.77\00:10:13.24
and say, "Well, honey... I... "
00:10:13.27\00:10:15.38
I mean, I'd be like, "I
can't get past the shorts"
00:10:15.41\00:10:17.48
I would... in my mind,
00:10:17.55\00:10:18.88
but I wouldn't say it,
00:10:18.91\00:10:20.25
"I will try to be
very kind and nice"
00:10:20.28\00:10:22.38
but see... if you came
to my home with my son,
00:10:22.42\00:10:25.79
I'd be like, "Hi... "
00:10:25.82\00:10:27.22
because again, first
impressions are lasting,
00:10:27.26\00:10:29.92
what's going on with the
natural look you got going on,
00:10:29.96\00:10:33.66
everyone is
coming out of the press
00:10:33.70\00:10:35.33
and... what's going on?
00:10:35.36\00:10:36.77
Well, I always had thick hair
00:10:36.80\00:10:39.43
but I never realized
how beautiful or how...
00:10:39.47\00:10:43.30
just everything about
my hair is amazing to me,
00:10:43.34\00:10:47.11
I started being natural 2015
00:10:47.14\00:10:50.35
me and my sister did the
same thing... the big chop...
00:10:50.38\00:10:52.78
I don't know if
you heard of it yet
00:10:52.81\00:10:54.15
when you cut off
like, all your natural...
00:10:54.18\00:10:55.78
all like your
straight hair so, you know,
00:10:55.85\00:10:57.92
you wet your hair and
what not, I used to like...
00:10:57.95\00:10:59.99
all your straight
hair and you cut it off...
00:11:00.02\00:11:01.49
and I clipped off
about three inches
00:11:01.52\00:11:03.26
and when I first did
that, my hair was at my neck,
00:11:03.32\00:11:06.80
now, it's down my back, so...
00:11:06.83\00:11:08.56
but the thing
about the natural hair
00:11:08.60\00:11:10.47
is just knowing... and
knowing that you're beautiful
00:11:10.50\00:11:12.63
with your natural everything...
00:11:12.67\00:11:15.04
you know, so you know,
00:11:15.07\00:11:16.44
you don't have
to wear the weave...
00:11:16.47\00:11:18.54
you don't have to
wear... and it's not you...
00:11:18.57\00:11:20.88
this is me...
everything about it is me
00:11:20.91\00:11:24.28
and I think, sometimes, women...
00:11:24.31\00:11:26.58
we tend to hide behind that
00:11:26.61\00:11:28.08
because we don't
have the hair that we want
00:11:28.12\00:11:30.32
or we don't have the
hair like the girl...
00:11:30.35\00:11:32.52
"Oh, she has
the... the mixed hair"
00:11:32.55\00:11:34.69
whereas, it just lays perfectly
00:11:34.72\00:11:36.79
and I have the other hair
where it doesn't cooperate"
00:11:36.83\00:11:39.56
and everything like that,
00:11:39.59\00:11:40.93
and... natural hair... it
just allows you to realize
00:11:40.96\00:11:44.47
how beautiful you really
are because this is your hair,
00:11:44.50\00:11:48.10
this is the hair
that God gave you.
00:11:48.14\00:11:49.90
Back in the '70s
way before you were born
00:11:49.94\00:11:52.81
I think, I might have been born,
00:11:52.87\00:11:55.41
and we... you know...
00:11:55.44\00:11:57.61
it was really about the
movement of black people...
00:11:57.65\00:12:01.62
and the Afros... and everyone
was really wearing the dashikis
00:12:01.65\00:12:07.72
and... oh, I didn't
realize I said dashiki
00:12:07.76\00:12:10.13
that's really dating me here
00:12:10.16\00:12:12.06
and I was there when
they went back there...
00:12:12.09\00:12:13.96
the African prince...
00:12:14.00\00:12:15.46
but it really gave us pride...
it gave us a sense of well-being
00:12:15.53\00:12:20.24
and we would... I remember...
I was in the 8th grade...
00:12:20.30\00:12:26.31
it was... for my 8th
Grade Academy graduation...
00:12:26.34\00:12:29.44
my hair was
straight, it was long
00:12:29.51\00:12:31.78
and I went with my girlfriend
00:12:31.81\00:12:33.82
and she was like,
"You need to do an Afro"
00:12:33.85\00:12:36.22
didn't ask my mother anything...
00:12:36.25\00:12:37.89
when I came back,
I had a short Afro,
00:12:37.92\00:12:40.26
my mother just... she
didn't know what to say
00:12:40.29\00:12:43.63
and I... I had
pride... I felt good...
00:12:43.66\00:12:47.86
I got my "pick" I was
picking my Afro out...
00:12:47.90\00:12:51.70
and I think it
lasted maybe about...
00:12:51.73\00:12:54.07
I think I had it about
at least three years...
00:12:54.10\00:12:56.34
Wow!
00:12:56.37\00:12:57.71
I did... and I... I
can appreciate it...
00:12:57.74\00:13:01.28
so, when I turn
that golden years...
00:13:01.31\00:13:05.05
I'm not there yet,
00:13:05.08\00:13:06.41
I'm thinking about
doing something au naturel
00:13:06.45\00:13:08.98
all right, and I
can appreciate that
00:13:09.02\00:13:11.69
you know,
00:13:11.72\00:13:13.05
to give it a
different perspective.
00:13:13.09\00:13:14.42
All right, let's
talk about siblings.
00:13:14.46\00:13:15.96
Okay, I have an older
sister, her name is Kiara...
00:13:15.99\00:13:19.13
I have a younger brother,
his name is Christopher,
00:13:19.16\00:13:22.46
we're all very...
we're close and everything...
00:13:22.50\00:13:25.70
my sister... we're a part
of "God's Hands of Praise"
00:13:25.73\00:13:28.00
and then we left...
we left and everything...
00:13:28.04\00:13:31.24
me and my sister... we
both are in ministry...
00:13:31.27\00:13:34.44
I would say... we
both are on fire for God,
00:13:34.48\00:13:37.25
we want to make sure that
this generation understands
00:13:37.28\00:13:40.98
that it's okay to
be "on fire" for God
00:13:41.02\00:13:43.82
and it's okay to love God
and want to know more about Him,
00:13:43.85\00:13:47.72
you don't have to be
ashamed of doing that...
00:13:47.76\00:13:49.82
and my little brother...
he's in high school now...
00:13:49.89\00:13:52.89
I can't believe
Christopher... he was a baby...
00:13:52.96\00:13:55.96
he was in my Sign
Language Class yes,
00:13:56.00\00:13:58.70
I had the opportunity
of watching social media
00:13:58.73\00:14:03.20
and you were doing the
Program, Infinity Girls...
00:14:03.24\00:14:07.64
and I heard you pray
00:14:07.68\00:14:09.54
and it truly
brought tears to my eyes
00:14:09.58\00:14:13.38
because of the
love you have for Jesus
00:14:13.42\00:14:17.12
and the way you were
ministering to these young girls
00:14:17.15\00:14:20.99
and what an example
00:14:21.02\00:14:22.62
and going back to
about being a virgin...
00:14:22.66\00:14:25.69
because you talk
about purity to the girls.
00:14:25.73\00:14:28.76
Why do you incorporate purity
00:14:28.80\00:14:30.80
and why is that important?
00:14:30.83\00:14:33.23
It's important because
00:14:33.27\00:14:35.64
God gives us that for one
purpose... one purpose only
00:14:35.67\00:14:38.81
that's for union
which is marriage,
00:14:38.84\00:14:40.58
it's not to be used...
00:14:40.61\00:14:42.01
or not to be
abused... I would say
00:14:42.04\00:14:44.88
and just being whole and one...
00:14:44.91\00:14:47.35
it's so important in God's eyes
00:14:47.38\00:14:49.75
because you only get one body...
00:14:49.78\00:14:51.79
you only get one
life... one temple
00:14:51.85\00:14:53.76
and you should want to
take care of that temple
00:14:53.79\00:14:56.12
forever...
00:14:56.16\00:14:57.56
so, purity...
is just not even...
00:14:57.63\00:15:00.93
not even having sex it's...
00:15:00.96\00:15:02.73
purity is not having sex...
not drinking... not smoking...
00:15:02.76\00:15:05.77
not just doing
anything harmful to your body
00:15:05.80\00:15:08.40
and it's important because
00:15:08.44\00:15:10.01
that's what God
would want us to do.
00:15:10.04\00:15:11.64
He wouldn't want us
to have it any other way.
00:15:11.67\00:15:13.81
We need to get back to that,
00:15:13.88\00:15:15.81
of knowing that I
am worth something...
00:15:15.84\00:15:18.98
knowing that I am worth more
than what you may think of me...
00:15:19.01\00:15:21.98
knowing that I
am worth the wait...
00:15:22.02\00:15:23.89
so, if you're not
willing to wait for me,
00:15:23.95\00:15:25.92
then you're not
the one for me...
00:15:25.95\00:15:27.96
that's
everything about purity...
00:15:27.99\00:15:29.96
it's no one respects you...
00:15:30.03\00:15:31.93
you need to
respect yourself first.
00:15:31.96\00:15:34.00
As long as you
respect yourself first,
00:15:34.03\00:15:35.96
then God is pleased
with what you're doing,
00:15:36.00\00:15:38.37
so, no sex, no
drinking... no smoking...
00:15:38.40\00:15:40.44
I haven't done
none of that myself...
00:15:40.47\00:15:42.44
I'm very proud of that...
00:15:42.47\00:15:43.91
I'm not ashamed of it,
00:15:43.94\00:15:45.31
I will tell anyone in a
heartbeat... "I am a virgin. "
00:15:45.34\00:15:48.48
Now, it can get hard at
times because Satan can hear you
00:15:48.54\00:15:51.11
and he will want to
try to make you fall
00:15:51.15\00:15:53.65
and he will want
to try to make you
00:15:53.68\00:15:56.15
get off-track and everything
00:15:56.18\00:15:57.99
but you have to make sure
that you stay in front of God...
00:15:58.02\00:16:00.52
seek His face...
00:16:00.56\00:16:01.89
and He will give
you evidence you need,
00:16:01.92\00:16:03.83
when you're alone at night,
00:16:03.86\00:16:05.79
you're like, "God,
you know, I need you"
00:16:05.83\00:16:08.16
just pray... it
might be hard for us
00:16:08.20\00:16:10.50
as young women to do that
00:16:10.53\00:16:11.87
or it might be hard for
us as this generation...
00:16:11.90\00:16:13.54
it's not, I
guess, "Cool" to pray
00:16:13.57\00:16:15.50
or it's not cool to ask God,
00:16:15.57\00:16:17.67
it's not cool to
be in God's face...
00:16:17.71\00:16:19.97
but we also have to
realize that God is the One
00:16:20.01\00:16:24.05
who gives us
everything that we have...
00:16:24.08\00:16:25.78
He gives us our
life, health and strength,
00:16:25.81\00:16:27.45
so, we have to realize
that whatever He needs from us
00:16:27.48\00:16:31.12
or whatever He wants from us,
00:16:31.15\00:16:32.49
we should be able
to make that sacrifice
00:16:32.52\00:16:34.66
and give it to Him
and... I guess I'll say,
00:16:34.69\00:16:37.03
"I'm proud to be a
virgin, I'm proud to be pure,
00:16:37.06\00:16:39.63
and everything... "
00:16:39.69\00:16:41.03
and I'm not going to
stop until I get the ring...
00:16:41.06\00:16:43.93
"If you like it, you
must put a ring on it"
00:16:43.97\00:16:46.27
right...
00:16:46.30\00:16:47.77
All right, so do you
have anything that causes you
00:16:47.80\00:16:51.54
fear... are you
afraid of anything?
00:16:51.57\00:16:54.98
that would be presented to you,
00:16:55.01\00:16:58.41
like me, I'm afraid...
00:16:58.45\00:16:59.91
I will on get
on roller coasters.
00:16:59.95\00:17:01.52
Really? I love roller coasters.
00:17:01.55\00:17:03.02
No, no, no, no, no... I...
I made promise to the Lord...
00:17:03.08\00:17:05.95
I was 22 years old,
00:17:05.99\00:17:08.29
I said, "Lord, if you get me
off this roller coaster alive,
00:17:08.32\00:17:12.89
I will never get back on one"
00:17:12.93\00:17:14.90
that was at 22...
00:17:14.93\00:17:16.50
And you never went back on.
00:17:16.53\00:17:17.87
Never... I hold purses,
00:17:17.90\00:17:19.23
I will hold
everyone's purse, all right,
00:17:19.27\00:17:22.34
walk around... and just drink
my water and keep it moving.
00:17:22.37\00:17:25.94
Keep it moving.
00:17:25.97\00:17:27.38
And just, "Hi...
" and keep it moving
00:17:27.41\00:17:29.58
so, I don't do roller coasters,
00:17:29.61\00:17:31.48
I don't... I don't
have a fear of snakes...
00:17:31.51\00:17:35.18
are you afraid of snakes?
00:17:35.22\00:17:36.55
I am... I guess it's different
00:17:36.58\00:17:40.16
because when I was in school...
00:17:40.19\00:17:43.76
elementary school... they had
like this little petting zoo,
00:17:43.79\00:17:46.16
they would come... and they
brought this big banana snake...
00:17:46.19\00:17:48.53
I'm like... "Ah... "
00:17:48.56\00:17:50.30
Did you put it around your neck?
00:17:50.33\00:17:51.67
Yes, I was like, "Oooh...
" I was like, "Jesus... "
00:17:51.70\00:17:53.50
I was sitting here,
I'm like, "Oh my God... "
00:17:53.54\00:17:57.01
they'll put the
head on your knee,
00:17:57.04\00:17:58.37
they'll put the tail in your...
00:17:58.41\00:17:59.74
put it right in the middle
where I don't want to touch it,
00:17:59.77\00:18:01.64
I mean, I wouldn't say...
00:18:01.68\00:18:03.55
it's a fear, I don't like...
00:18:03.58\00:18:05.35
But didn't it help you to
overcome that a little bit?
00:18:05.41\00:18:08.52
It did... a little bit...
00:18:08.55\00:18:09.88
Confronted it...
00:18:09.92\00:18:11.25
I would never hold it by myself.
00:18:11.29\00:18:12.95
So, you would
never buy a pet snake?
00:18:12.99\00:18:14.99
No... Kim: Okay, no...
00:18:15.02\00:18:16.36
If I ever bought any, like,
exotic animal or anything...
00:18:16.39\00:18:20.80
I would probably buy a lizard,
I would never get a snake.
00:18:20.86\00:18:25.30
Really? But that comes
from the reptile family.
00:18:25.33\00:18:28.27
I mean, if I got anything,
like, from within the reptile...
00:18:28.30\00:18:30.87
snake family... reptile family,
I will only get a lizard,
00:18:30.91\00:18:34.38
I would not get
nothing near a snake.
00:18:34.41\00:18:36.81
Okay, so, do you
know how to cook?
00:18:36.85\00:18:39.15
Because a lot of
our young people today,
00:18:39.18\00:18:40.52
don't know how to cook.
00:18:40.55\00:18:41.95
I had a patient last night
and she doesn't know how to cook
00:18:41.98\00:18:45.35
so, I was doing
recipes in my therapy session
00:18:45.39\00:18:47.99
because it was causing such
anxiety for her and her mother
00:18:48.02\00:18:51.76
so, do you know how to cook?
00:18:51.79\00:18:53.80
Well, I would just say
this, I do know how to cook
00:18:53.83\00:18:56.20
and I learned from my dad...
my dad... he's the cook... yes.
00:18:56.23\00:18:59.83
Really?
00:18:59.87\00:19:01.20
Because my grandmother who
passed a couple of months ago,
00:19:01.24\00:19:03.87
my grandmother... she
was like the queen of cooking
00:19:03.91\00:19:07.88
so, I definitely
learned how to cook
00:19:07.91\00:19:10.08
from watching my dad
cooking Thanksgiving Dinner
00:19:10.11\00:19:12.48
or, you know, just cooking
in the house most of the time...
00:19:12.51\00:19:15.58
so I know how to
cook macaroni and cheese,
00:19:15.65\00:19:17.75
I know how to do
some spaghetti sometimes,
00:19:17.79\00:19:19.89
you know, just
like the small stuff.
00:19:19.92\00:19:22.56
Small things... you
sound like Erin, okay.
00:19:22.59\00:19:24.69
This morning, I
want to learn more
00:19:24.73\00:19:28.33
I want to know... know more
about cooking and everything
00:19:28.36\00:19:31.63
because it's
just healthier living.
00:19:31.67\00:19:33.60
Yes, so you like vegetables
you eat fruit... lot of water...
00:19:33.64\00:19:37.34
Yes.
00:19:37.37\00:19:38.71
All right, do you work
out... do you exercise?
00:19:38.74\00:19:40.21
I mean, right now, I do
exercise in the summer time
00:19:40.24\00:19:43.98
but like, when school starts...
it's... I have to balance that.
00:19:44.01\00:19:47.55
You have to balance that.
00:19:47.58\00:19:48.92
Because you have school...
you may have 12-Credit classes
00:19:48.95\00:19:51.15
and then you have homework to do
00:19:51.19\00:19:53.05
and lean towards your job
00:19:53.09\00:19:54.42
so it's like...
during the school year
00:19:54.46\00:19:56.06
I definitely had to... I
know how to balance everything
00:19:56.09\00:20:00.80
so, I do work out and
I could work out more...
00:20:00.83\00:20:03.20
Kim: Could work out more...
00:20:03.23\00:20:04.57
I could work out more... there's
always room for improvement
00:20:04.60\00:20:06.23
and everything...
00:20:06.30\00:20:07.64
See this is that old
soul in you all right,
00:20:07.70\00:20:10.64
and I'm just listening to
you, you know, so let's...
00:20:10.67\00:20:14.44
dating... because with
school and work and ministry,
00:20:14.48\00:20:18.01
is there anyone special you like
00:20:18.05\00:20:20.15
or you're just
waiting for the Lord.
00:20:20.22\00:20:22.28
No... no... there is no...
00:20:22.32\00:20:24.45
You can tell me...
all right, tell me...
00:20:24.52\00:20:26.82
nobody ever
said, "No" all right.
00:20:26.86\00:20:28.19
No, there is no
one special right now,
00:20:28.22\00:20:31.09
I'm not going to
say that men have not...
00:20:31.13\00:20:34.00
oh, not men but young men...
00:20:34.06\00:20:35.70
young men have not
tried to come into my life
00:20:35.73\00:20:38.83
and when there was
that time, I'm just like,
00:20:38.87\00:20:41.84
"Okay God, show me
who they really are"
00:20:41.87\00:20:44.77
I don't want to be in a
relationship with anyone
00:20:44.81\00:20:48.04
who is not willing to increase
their relationship with you,
00:20:48.11\00:20:52.35
anyone that I date
or intend on dating
00:20:52.38\00:20:56.22
we have to be friends first,
00:20:56.25\00:20:58.09
I want to make sure that
I'm dating my best friend...
00:20:58.12\00:21:00.59
I don't want to date
anyone that I do not know
00:21:00.62\00:21:02.69
I don't want to date
anyone who doesn't have...
00:21:02.72\00:21:04.76
or close to the same
values that I have...
00:21:04.79\00:21:07.13
which is God first in
everything that I do...
00:21:07.20\00:21:09.50
purity... I'm not having
anything until I get married,
00:21:09.56\00:21:13.64
and just... education is
very important to me as well.
00:21:13.67\00:21:16.67
If you are not educated
00:21:16.71\00:21:18.41
or if you're not
trying to improve yourself
00:21:18.44\00:21:20.91
in where you are right now,
00:21:20.94\00:21:22.28
then, there's really
no point of talking to me
00:21:22.31\00:21:25.68
because I'm not...
00:21:25.71\00:21:27.05
You're not taking
care of a grown man.
00:21:27.08\00:21:28.42
No... I am not... ah... ah...
00:21:28.45\00:21:29.78
Your father... and
I know your father...
00:21:29.82\00:21:31.15
he's not having it, all right.
00:21:31.19\00:21:32.52
Now, if you marry
and something happens,
00:21:32.55\00:21:34.76
there's an accident...
he's laid off work...
00:21:34.79\00:21:37.36
or a shift in the
business or something
00:21:37.39\00:21:39.86
that's
understandable. Ki'Rah: Yes.
00:21:39.89\00:21:41.40
You know, when I
met Elder Nowlin,
00:21:41.43\00:21:42.86
he was working for an
Agency and one day he came home
00:21:42.90\00:21:45.87
and he was
looking very depressed...
00:21:45.90\00:21:48.14
I think he used
it to manipulate me
00:21:48.17\00:21:50.34
and I said, "What's wrong?"
00:21:50.41\00:21:52.21
And he says, "I
just quit my job. "
00:21:52.24\00:21:54.18
I said, "Really, we
just bought a new house"
00:21:54.21\00:21:56.38
and he said, "But I just
don't want to do this anymore,
00:21:56.41\00:22:00.12
I don't want to
work at this Agency"
00:22:00.15\00:22:01.48
and I said, "Well,
what do you want to do?"
00:22:01.52\00:22:03.75
And he said, "I
want to get my Master's
00:22:03.79\00:22:06.02
and I want to get certified...
00:22:06.05\00:22:07.39
I want to get my
Clinical Drug Test...
00:22:07.42\00:22:09.62
pass all of that...
00:22:09.66\00:22:11.13
and I said, "And then what?"
00:22:11.16\00:22:13.16
He said, "I want to
come work with you. "
00:22:13.19\00:22:14.56
And I said, "Okay"
00:22:14.60\00:22:16.26
and I told him... I
said, "If you leave me
00:22:16.30\00:22:18.97
after you get these degrees,
00:22:19.00\00:22:20.67
I will hunt you down all right"
00:22:20.70\00:22:22.30
and he went to school...
knocked it out in a year...
00:22:22.34\00:22:25.91
I would take him, pick
him up, fix his lunch...
00:22:25.97\00:22:28.34
and he
graduated... he was so happy...
00:22:28.38\00:22:31.98
and he went on to
get his license...
00:22:32.01\00:22:35.58
and certification...
certification... certification
00:22:35.62\00:22:38.39
and we joined Practice together
00:22:38.45\00:22:41.62
until the day he
passed we were one...
00:22:41.66\00:22:44.33
and I think
that's very important
00:22:44.36\00:22:46.70
to be able to
stand behind someone...
00:22:46.73\00:22:49.03
to believe in
someone and I took a risk...
00:22:49.06\00:22:51.30
I took a major risk to
say, "Okay, quit your job"
00:22:51.33\00:22:55.54
that meant that my finance...
our finances... had to be right
00:22:55.57\00:22:59.47
and he said, "Well,
Honey, you work all the time"
00:22:59.51\00:23:02.71
which I do... I love to work...
00:23:02.74\00:23:04.41
and I'm trying
to balance it now,
00:23:04.45\00:23:06.05
I love helping people,
but I had to say to myself,
00:23:06.08\00:23:10.05
"He is very sincere,
00:23:10.09\00:23:11.55
I don't believe
He would leave me
00:23:11.59\00:23:13.12
and he would be here"
00:23:13.15\00:23:15.76
and he was... he
gave everything he had
00:23:15.79\00:23:18.56
even to Dare to
Dream... this broadcast.
00:23:18.59\00:23:21.70
Dating... what's
a good age to date?
00:23:21.73\00:23:24.77
You did not want to
know my answer to that
00:23:24.80\00:23:26.84
but what's a good age to date?
00:23:26.87\00:23:28.60
In my opinion, I feel like,
it all depends on the person,
00:23:28.64\00:23:32.67
I'm very mature for my age,
00:23:32.71\00:23:35.24
a lot of people wouldn't
think I'm only 20 years old,
00:23:35.28\00:23:38.38
they would be like,
"I thought you were 25"
00:23:38.41\00:23:41.28
I'm like, "No...
I'm only 20 years old"
00:23:41.32\00:23:44.05
and I would say,
my maturity came from
00:23:44.09\00:23:46.72
just being around the people
that I had... my grandparents,
00:23:46.76\00:23:50.36
my parents,
you... for example...
00:23:50.39\00:23:52.59
just seeing other young...
00:23:52.63\00:23:54.20
just seeing
other women in my life.
00:23:54.23\00:23:56.16
People mentoring you.
00:23:56.23\00:23:57.57
Yes, people
mentoring or pouring into me...
00:23:57.60\00:23:59.70
just seeing how
they went about life...
00:23:59.73\00:24:02.00
and I just took that
and I ran with it, so...
00:24:02.04\00:24:04.87
Would you date an older man?
00:24:04.91\00:24:06.64
Would I date an older man?
00:24:06.68\00:24:08.34
If I did, it wouldn't
be over like three years,
00:24:08.38\00:24:11.51
I wouldn't... the three
years would be like my max.
00:24:11.55\00:24:14.65
Okay, see, now, see...
00:24:14.68\00:24:16.02
Uncle Arthur was
nine years older than me
00:24:16.05\00:24:18.12
it worked... it worked.
00:24:18.15\00:24:19.65
I'm not saying it
couldn't work, I'm not saying...
00:24:19.72\00:24:21.79
I guess... I
guess like right now,
00:24:21.82\00:24:25.59
when it comes to
age and everything,
00:24:25.63\00:24:28.93
it's all in God's hands...
00:24:28.96\00:24:30.73
I'm not going to
go put a time limit
00:24:30.77\00:24:33.37
but me, personally,
and I know my dad...
00:24:33.40\00:24:35.97
he's like, "You
can't date no one
00:24:36.00\00:24:37.81
past five years or three years"
00:24:37.87\00:24:39.24
so I was like, I have my dad...
00:24:39.27\00:24:40.61
Who's older, your
father or your mother?
00:24:40.64\00:24:41.98
My dad is older.
00:24:42.01\00:24:43.35
Than your mother... okay.
00:24:43.38\00:24:44.71
Yes, but only
about a couple of months
00:24:44.75\00:24:46.08
because my dad was born
1969, my mom was born 1970...
00:24:46.11\00:24:48.68
so it was not...
00:24:48.72\00:24:50.09
They're going to get
you... telling their age
00:24:50.12\00:24:51.49
on national
television, oh my goodness,
00:24:51.55\00:24:53.76
so, all right... so...
00:24:53.79\00:24:55.42
it is right to
allow the Lord to lead...
00:24:55.46\00:24:58.43
allow the Lord to guide
you to that right person
00:24:58.49\00:25:02.60
and where He
wants that fit to be...
00:25:02.66\00:25:05.13
Are you strictly interested
in marrying an African American?
00:25:05.17\00:25:11.24
I am not... I am not...
00:25:11.27\00:25:14.41
Really... let's talk about that.
00:25:14.44\00:25:16.31
I would... I mean...
I would definitely say
00:25:16.34\00:25:19.68
that I don't... you know...
00:25:19.71\00:25:21.05
whatever God has
for me and what not...
00:25:21.08\00:25:23.92
so if another ethnicity
young man tried talking to me,
00:25:23.95\00:25:29.09
I wouldn't be like, "No... "
00:25:29.12\00:25:30.46
"Because you're not
African American... "
00:25:30.49\00:25:31.89
Exactly, even though
my grandfather was like,
00:25:31.93\00:25:34.53
"You need to
marry within the race"
00:25:34.56\00:25:36.77
and things like that
00:25:36.83\00:25:38.17
I said, "I
understand Grandfather
00:25:38.20\00:25:41.00
but if other races come to me,
00:25:41.04\00:25:43.87
if an African American
man doesn't come to me,
00:25:43.91\00:25:46.07
and is correct or has
some stuff going on...
00:25:46.11\00:25:48.41
but then I have another
young man who's interested,
00:25:48.44\00:25:51.41
who is not our color,
00:25:51.45\00:25:52.78
you know, I'm not
going to just be like,
00:25:52.81\00:25:54.25
'I'm sorry, I can't date you
00:25:54.28\00:25:55.62
because my grandfather told
me to date within our race'"
00:25:55.65\00:25:58.99
as long as you love
God... as long as you...
00:25:59.02\00:26:01.89
as long as I can follow you...
00:26:01.92\00:26:03.53
because a man is supposed
to lead the household...
00:26:03.56\00:26:05.59
spiritually... in
marriage and everything,
00:26:05.63\00:26:07.63
as long as I see that in you,
00:26:07.66\00:26:09.50
as long as you do put
God first even before me,
00:26:09.53\00:26:13.13
then, I know that you
are a good match to me.
00:26:13.17\00:26:16.27
So, if he's says...
00:26:16.30\00:26:17.71
okay God, brings this
wonderful person to you...
00:26:17.77\00:26:19.41
he may not or may
be African American...
00:26:19.44\00:26:22.48
may not... and he says,
"Well, I live in Turkey"
00:26:22.51\00:26:25.88
you know, your
family is here in Michigan
00:26:25.91\00:26:28.48
and you love him, he's of God...
00:26:28.52\00:26:30.65
he's educated... has a good job
00:26:30.69\00:26:32.79
but is in Turkey
00:26:32.85\00:26:34.22
you know,
00:26:34.26\00:26:35.59
that's a long way
from mummy and daddy.
00:26:35.62\00:26:39.89
It is a long way
from mummy and daddy
00:26:39.93\00:26:41.80
but it's funny that you say
that because I told mom and dad,
00:26:41.83\00:26:44.13
I said, "Mom and Dad,
what if my husband is in Texas,
00:26:44.17\00:26:46.50
what if my
husband is in California,
00:26:46.53\00:26:48.17
or he's somewhere
because I love down south,
00:26:48.20\00:26:50.87
if I could do it... I would
move down south in a heartbeat,
00:26:50.91\00:26:54.38
I don't like being
cold in Michigan...
00:26:54.41\00:26:57.45
it's like snow, it's cold...
00:26:57.48\00:26:59.38
you don't know
what it wants to do
00:26:59.41\00:27:01.22
because we get half a
day's rain... and that... so...
00:27:01.25\00:27:02.78
if the guy who wants
to marry me and he's like,
00:27:02.82\00:27:06.55
"I live in
Turkey" and what not...
00:27:06.59\00:27:08.26
I would definitely
have to adjust to it...
00:27:08.29\00:27:12.53
and pray about it,
00:27:12.59\00:27:13.93
but if God is saying,
00:27:13.96\00:27:15.30
"This is the man
you're supposed to be with"
00:27:15.33\00:27:16.77
then, I'm going to go...
Kim: You're going to do it.
00:27:16.80\00:27:19.07
Yeah, I'm going to go...
00:27:19.10\00:27:20.44
it's all about being
that support system...
00:27:20.47\00:27:22.14
it's all about being
there for him and everything
00:27:22.17\00:27:24.27
and if I... as long as it's
going to work for both of us,
00:27:24.31\00:27:27.48
I'm not going to...
00:27:27.51\00:27:28.84
Kim: It will
work. Ki'Rah: Exactly.
00:27:28.88\00:27:30.21
In closing, your
favorite Scripture.
00:27:30.25\00:27:31.68
Psalm 46 and 5...
00:27:31.71\00:27:34.32
it says, "God is
within her, she cannot fail"
00:27:34.35\00:27:37.02
I hold that
very dear to my heart
00:27:37.05\00:27:38.82
because God is in
everything that I do,
00:27:38.85\00:27:41.29
I don't pray... I
mean, I pray every day...
00:27:41.32\00:27:43.79
anything that I do
as far as school...
00:27:43.83\00:27:46.23
as far as relationships...
as far as ministry,
00:27:46.26\00:27:48.86
I always, "Okay God,
give me the okay to do this
00:27:48.90\00:27:52.03
give me the okay to do
whatever you want me to do,
00:27:52.10\00:27:54.94
I want to make sure
that you are in in my life...
00:27:55.00\00:27:57.67
and that you
are Head of my life,
00:27:57.74\00:27:59.54
I don't want to do
anything that is not...
00:27:59.57\00:28:01.71
if it does not
have you in it" so...
00:28:01.74\00:28:04.41
Well, I just want to
thank you for being here,
00:28:04.45\00:28:06.95
you gave us a lot
of great information...
00:28:06.98\00:28:08.98
a lot of high
energy... all right...
00:28:09.05\00:28:11.09
you just made me
tired all right...
00:28:11.15\00:28:13.12
and people say, "Dr.
Kim got all this energy"
00:28:13.15\00:28:15.49
but I praise
God for your life...
00:28:15.52\00:28:17.29
continue to live to be well.
00:28:17.33\00:28:18.83
I will.
00:28:18.86\00:28:20.30
Positive reflection...
00:28:20.33\00:28:21.66
let it be said in your life that
you do have a reflection of God,
00:28:21.70\00:28:26.10
I'm Dr. Kim,
continue to live to be well.
00:28:26.13\00:28:29.54
God bless.
00:28:29.57\00:28:31.04