Hi I'm Dr. Kim and
welcome to Live to be Well.
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Have you ever said to yourself,
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"I have an
attitude of gratitude"
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just to be thankful to God
for everything He has done.
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Well, today my special
guest is Ms. Regina Gray
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a recent graduate
of Oakwood University
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our Seventh-day
Adventist University
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in Huntsville, Alabama
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but I've known her
since she was a baby...
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even from before
that... in her mother's womb
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and I am just so
excited about what God is doing
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through her
attitude of gratitude.
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Welcome Regina.
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Thank you.
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Oh, it's so good to see you.
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It's so good to see you too.
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I was at your graduation,
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I think I was the
loudest one there.
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You and my parents.
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All right, I was just
so excited that I was there
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when you graduated
from the 8th Grade,
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I was there when you
graduated from the 12th Grade,
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I was there... college...
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and I'm just so excited,
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so, let's talk
about the attitude of a...
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you know, having an
attitude of gratitude.
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Let's talk about your journey.
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You have been a product of the
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Seventh-day
Adventist Church since birth.
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Yes.
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Your parents are Elders in the
the Seventh-day Adventist Church
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and they have been
married over 40 years
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and siblings...
how many siblings?
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I have two other siblings,
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I have an older
sister named Rosslyn
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and an older brother
by the name of Roderick.
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Yes, and what are
their professions?
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My sister is a
Speech Pathologist
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at Children's
Hospital, downtown Detroit
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and my brother
is a Vice Principal
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in Poinciana, Florida.
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Oh my goodness, so education is
really important in your family.
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Yes.
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All right, so what did...
well, we'll get to Oakwood...
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so, let's talk
about your journey
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that led to Oakwood University.
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Your formative years
at Peterson-Warren Academy
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and your mother
was a teacher there...
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She was...
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All right, let's talk about
that and what was that like?
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Um, it was kind of
different because it's like,
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"Okay, I wanted to
go to a Public School"
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but my mother was like,
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"No, you're going
here, this is where I teach,
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let's make life
easier for the both of us...
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so just... let's
go on to Peterson,
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let's get your education
and I will help you... "
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and it has been a
wonderful experience
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at Peterson-Warren Academy,
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like the friends that I
have made at Peterson...
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we're still friends today,
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and even when we
went on to college,
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we were still
friends in college,
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so, it's been a
blessing being at Peterson.
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Why did you want to
go to Public School...
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attend Public School?
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I wanted to attend Public School
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just to get off
the eye of my mother
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because it was
like, the faculty...
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if you do one thing
wrong, "Go to your mother... "
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and I'm just like,
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"Okay, I want to
be my own self here
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but I can't be my own self
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because here I am at
Peterson-Warren Academy
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where everybody
knows who my mother is... "
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so it was like, kind
of... "I'm a teacher's pet"
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and then I'd get...
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people would think I get
what I want when I want it,
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but that wasn't true
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and I wanted to make
myself known somewhere else.
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Wanted your own name.
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Yes.
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What was it like when you had
to have classes with your mother
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not just her being a
teacher in the building
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but you had
classes from your mother.
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I did, and my mother taught me
High School Spanish so everybody
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Hola...
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Cómo estás?
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Cómo estás there
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Si, pero to
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Oooh, did you
all see that, I mean,
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that was wonderful, okay.
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So, Mom taught
you Spanish all right.
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And everybody was like,
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you should
speak Spanish fluently
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because your mother's a teacher
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I'm just like, "I'm
here to learn Spanish...
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just like you're here
to learn Spanish as well. "
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Hmmm...
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So my Mom, she never really
talked Spanish in the home,
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so I learned in High
School how to speak Spanish.
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All right, how did
you do in her classes?
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I did well, I always got an "A"
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picking up foreign
languages is very easy for me.
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Is that right, so
let me ask you this,
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when you would go home,
Mom would also help tutor you
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with your homework and things?
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In Spanish, yes.
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Right, so she had to
take over that role now,
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not just being a teacher during
the day but now... a mom...
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A mom at night.
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Hmmm... hmmm... so,
was it difficult growing up
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in the
Seventh-day Adventist Church?
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It wasn't difficult because
we had activities in the church
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so, we had SJYC which
was Spirit of Joy Youth Choir
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so we had practice every Friday
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and then we also had
the Cheerleading scene
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for the Basketball Games
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and then the Basketball
games were on Saturday night
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then we also did
Sabbath afternoon lock-ins
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so the youth could
get together and enjoy.
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And you were always at my
house, the Youth, you know.
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Every Tuesday at 6:00 o'clock.
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Yes, for the Sign Language Choir
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but what was so great
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and what I love about the
Seventh-day Adventist Church
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is the fellowships on Sabbath,
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we were able to go
to one another's homes
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and have great
food and then fellowship
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folks falling asleep,
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your parents
falling asleep on the couch
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and everybody knew everyone
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and that's how our
church was so close,
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so now you
matriculated to High School
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and now it's time
to go off to college.
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How was Oakwood decided for you?
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Okay, so, I always knew I
had to go to an Adventist School
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because my mother, being
a teacher in a Conference
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that was 70
percent off the tuition,
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I wanted to go to a local school
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so I was in between
Southern and Oakwood
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so then, Elder Jessup, he said,
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"Why don't you just
go to Oakwood... a year?"
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But I'm thinking in my head,
"I don't want to go to Oakwood
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because I want to be with
the same people from High School
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I want to branch out"
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so, I was like,
"You know, Elder Jessup,
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I'm going to give Oakwood
one year... just for you"
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and so, I went down
to Oakwood and it was...
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it was a very
interesting first year.
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Why do you say
that... why do you say that?
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Because I'm so used to my
parents doing everything for me
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that I had to grow up at Oakwood
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so I learned how to
do laundry at Oakwood.
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You did not do laundry at home?
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I did not do laundry at home.
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Your mom pampered you like that?
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I got pampered.
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Oh my goodness.
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Because education was
always key... you do homework
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and then, I couldn't
watch Disney Channel,
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it has to be educational
programs on television as well.
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So, you were very, very...
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you were
supervised at all times.
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Supervised at all times
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and I couldn't get
anything past my father either.
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I remember when you rebelled
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and your father
was about to just...
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"Oooh, I just want to choke her"
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you went through a little phase,
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but you snapped out
of it quickly, all right.
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I was a teenager.
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Yeah, that's what they
do, "Pray for me," all right.
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So, now your freshman
year... so you decided to stay
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and you finished
out your first year.
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I did.
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Okay, and then what?
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And then I went
on my second year
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and that's when I became really
close with the Department...
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the Social Work Department
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and I also made more friends,
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I was in the
choir... "Dynamic Praise"
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and then I also had my
god-sister, Micha down there
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and Megan...
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so I would always go over
to Micha's house and do laundry
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to get away from
Oakwood for peace and quiet.
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Right and see, Micha
being my oldest daughter,
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we have eyes everywhere.
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And you know, Micha
actually would come into my room
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freshman year to make
sure that everything was okay
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or, if my room was a mess,
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she would go, "Uh
ah, clean it up. "
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"Clean it up... " had that
mama role going on right there.
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So, now, you come
home for the summer...
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you worked during the
summer... and you did...
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you worked every summer.
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Every summer and then I
also did Community College.
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Yes, you did classes
also, I remember that
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and still working
with "Hands of Praise"
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so... decision to
go back to Oakwood...
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was it difficult
for your sophomore year?
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It was because
after my freshman year,
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I wanted to transfer
to Andrews University
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to be closer to home
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but God actually planned it good
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because, I know, if I
would have went to Andrews
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I would have been
home every weekend
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so it was like, Oakwood
allowed me to grow and mature
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while being there.
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I'm glad to hear
that... that is really good,
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I didn't know that.
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So you stayed... your
sophomore, junior, senior...
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why Social Work?
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Because I remember you
used to talk to Uncle Arthur
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because he was a
Clinical Social Worker,
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he was so happy that you
were pursuing Social Work
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and not my
field... Counseling...
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so, why Social Work?
00:08:32.11\00:08:34.74
Okay, it started
out at High School...
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students were
coming to me to vent to me
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and I remember
thinking in my head,
00:08:39.48\00:08:41.08
"Okay God, give me
the words of wisdom
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to give back to my peers"
00:08:42.75\00:08:44.09
and I was pursuing Psychology
but then, for Career Shadow Day,
00:08:44.12\00:08:50.03
I went ahead and
shadowed Kamir Romain
00:08:50.09\00:08:52.83
which is my
god-sister... Social Work...
00:08:52.86\00:08:54.70
she used to deal with
clients that were on dialysis
00:08:54.73\00:08:56.67
and just seeing her going around
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making sure the
clients were okay... smiling
00:08:58.77\00:09:00.57
and how her clients loved her
00:09:00.60\00:09:02.40
I was like, "Okay, I
really want to pursue
00:09:02.47\00:09:04.67
the career of Social Work"
00:09:04.71\00:09:06.04
so it was that moment.
00:09:06.07\00:09:07.41
You want to help others, hmmm...
00:09:07.44\00:09:09.28
it is a very committed
field and a needed field.
00:09:09.31\00:09:12.78
During your years at Oakwood...
before we get to Graduation...
00:09:12.81\00:09:17.32
did you date?
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I did not...
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You did not... stop the noise...
00:09:20.09\00:09:22.22
you did not date at all?
00:09:22.26\00:09:23.59
I did not date at all.
00:09:23.63\00:09:24.96
Really?
00:09:24.99\00:09:26.33
I have not been on a
date until previously.
00:09:26.36\00:09:28.40
You just met someone recently?
00:09:28.46\00:09:29.80
I did.
00:09:29.83\00:09:31.17
In your senior year... wow!
00:09:31.20\00:09:33.13
did that bother you
that you weren't dating?
00:09:33.17\00:09:35.47
It didn't bother me because
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I wasn't in a
mindset, "Okay, let me date"
00:09:36.91\00:09:39.34
now, there were guys
that were interested in me
00:09:39.37\00:09:41.74
but they have to go
through my parents...
00:09:41.78\00:09:43.95
if my parents don't like them,
00:09:43.98\00:09:45.31
then they have to
go, "Bye... bye... "
00:09:45.35\00:09:46.72
Go "bye... bye... "
00:09:46.78\00:09:49.22
Yes.
00:09:49.28\00:09:50.62
All right and so,
it didn't work out.
00:09:50.65\00:09:52.29
It did not.
00:09:52.32\00:09:53.66
So, tell me a little
bit about this young man.
00:09:53.69\00:09:55.62
I met him... I met him.
00:09:55.66\00:09:57.43
You did and he's really quiet.
00:09:57.49\00:09:59.66
Very quiet.
00:09:59.69\00:10:01.03
Very, very, very
quiet, so... and I'm quiet too
00:10:01.06\00:10:03.60
but I'm the one
that brings us out...
00:10:03.63\00:10:06.07
because I'm so fun and bubbly.
00:10:06.10\00:10:07.67
Okay.
00:10:07.70\00:10:09.04
And so, I met him fresh...
no, I met him freshman year
00:10:09.07\00:10:13.04
but we didn't get
close until this year
00:10:13.07\00:10:15.44
so, like, he's been there
for me through my hardest time,
00:10:15.51\00:10:19.11
my joyous times... been
there for me through it all.
00:10:19.15\00:10:21.98
So, is this a boyfriend?
00:10:22.02\00:10:23.35
We're getting there.
00:10:23.39\00:10:24.72
You're getting there,
and now where does he live?
00:10:24.75\00:10:26.65
He lives in Pennsylvania.
00:10:26.72\00:10:28.29
Okay, good... the distance,
I like the distance, all right,
00:10:28.32\00:10:31.26
now, let me ask you
a question, all right,
00:10:31.29\00:10:33.80
transparency time,
00:10:33.83\00:10:35.23
all right, I'm adding
that to: Live to be Well
00:10:35.26\00:10:37.47
let's be transparent.
00:10:37.50\00:10:38.83
Are you a virgin?
00:10:38.87\00:10:40.20
I am.
00:10:40.24\00:10:42.00
Hmmm... you know, the
Bible says in Ecclesiastes 12:1
00:10:42.04\00:10:44.54
"Remember your Creator
in the days of your youth"
00:10:44.57\00:10:47.91
why have you maintained
00:10:47.94\00:10:50.45
an attitude of
gratitude to remain a virgin?
00:10:50.48\00:10:52.61
Well, you know, I have
this fear of catching feelings
00:10:52.68\00:10:57.39
and so, it's kind of been glad
to have older sisters to talk to
00:10:57.42\00:11:01.99
because, you're not... I
haven't been told by anyone,
00:11:02.02\00:11:05.93
all we know in the
Adventist Church is,
00:11:05.96\00:11:07.53
"Don't have sex
until your marriage"
00:11:07.56\00:11:09.06
so it's kind of good to
have older siblings to say,
00:11:09.10\00:11:12.13
"Hey, do not have sex
until this, that and the third
00:11:12.17\00:11:15.10
because you actually can
get attached to that individual
00:11:15.14\00:11:18.04
and things can go left,
00:11:18.07\00:11:19.41
so, it's always been good
to have someone to talk to
00:11:19.44\00:11:21.88
like I have thought
about losing my virginity...
00:11:21.91\00:11:24.01
Okay...
00:11:24.05\00:11:25.38
But I'm glad I didn't.
00:11:25.41\00:11:26.95
When you say... you
had thought of losing it,
00:11:27.02\00:11:28.85
were you in a situation?
00:11:28.88\00:11:30.22
I was in a situation...
00:11:30.29\00:11:31.62
Okay, and how did you say,
00:11:31.65\00:11:33.15
"Uh, back off, I can't
do this" what did you do?
00:11:33.19\00:11:35.49
I thought about one of the
words that my god-sister said,
00:11:35.52\00:11:37.86
she said, "Feelings... "
00:11:37.89\00:11:39.33
that's one of the words
that came up in my head.
00:11:39.36\00:11:41.93
Hmmm... hmmm...
because you do get attached
00:11:41.96\00:11:44.10
to people that you have
sexual relationships with,
00:11:44.13\00:11:47.24
you can't just break it
off, it's over... I'm done...
00:11:47.27\00:11:50.01
'cause you're
still attached, you know.
00:11:50.04\00:11:52.41
You think young
men go through that,
00:11:52.44\00:11:54.74
you know, they just,
"Boom! Bam! Thank you Ma'am!"
00:11:54.78\00:11:57.21
and go on to the next girl.
00:11:57.25\00:11:58.58
And, you know, I actually
think that's what young men do
00:11:58.61\00:12:00.52
because in their
mind, they're just thinking,
00:12:00.58\00:12:02.18
"Oh, we're
friends with benefits"
00:12:02.25\00:12:03.62
but they don't
understand, "Oh, females... "
00:12:03.65\00:12:06.09
you actually have
more because you get to...
00:12:06.12\00:12:08.56
you start to
liking the individual
00:12:08.59\00:12:10.53
and men don't understand that.
00:12:10.56\00:12:12.23
Hmmm... why do you
think men don't get it?
00:12:12.29\00:12:14.63
I really feel like, men,
they just want to taste and see.
00:12:14.66\00:12:19.03
Oh girl, did you just say that?
00:12:19.07\00:12:21.30
How old are you?
00:12:21.34\00:12:22.94
I'm 22...
00:12:22.97\00:12:24.31
Well, hello, "Taste and
see and keep it moving... "
00:12:24.34\00:12:27.94
And keep it moving.
00:12:27.98\00:12:29.31
Wow! that's old
school... "taste and see"
00:12:29.34\00:12:32.11
so, this is why we have
the problems that we have today
00:12:32.15\00:12:35.65
you know, babies
here... babies there...
00:12:35.68\00:12:39.39
mamas... baby mama's drama
00:12:39.42\00:12:41.39
and so, I remember when I
left to go off to Oakwood,
00:12:41.42\00:12:45.59
my uncle and my
father said to me,
00:12:45.63\00:12:47.96
I went on a Greyhound bus,
00:12:48.00\00:12:49.66
because my parents
couldn't afford to take me down
00:12:49.70\00:12:51.90
and I was determined to go
00:12:51.93\00:12:53.87
and the last words my father
and my uncle said to me...
00:12:53.90\00:12:57.87
they said, "Keep
your legs closed"
00:12:57.91\00:13:00.41
and I was like, "Really Daddy!"
00:13:00.44\00:13:03.01
He said, "Bring
me back a Diploma,
00:13:03.04\00:13:05.81
don't get involved with anyone"
00:13:05.85\00:13:08.55
I was like you, I was
kind of popular, you know.
00:13:08.58\00:13:11.62
I wasn't popular, I
actually stayed in my room.
00:13:11.65\00:13:14.69
Do you... a quiet self?
00:13:14.72\00:13:16.06
I'm very quiet, ask my
friends, I'm extremely quiet.
00:13:16.09\00:13:19.53
Well, I worked in the Cafe,
00:13:19.56\00:13:20.90
I was the one who had to
swipe your ID back in the day
00:13:20.93\00:13:24.57
and then they made me
the hostess of the cafeteria,
00:13:24.60\00:13:27.87
I'd walk around...
00:13:27.90\00:13:29.34
I think that's like get
into my clothes thing...
00:13:29.37\00:13:31.84
I had to walk around and say,
00:13:31.87\00:13:33.27
"Hi, are you
enjoying your lunch?"
00:13:33.31\00:13:34.74
"Oh, thank you for
visiting the Oakwood Cafe today"
00:13:34.78\00:13:37.88
they made a job for me,
that personable personality,
00:13:37.91\00:13:41.15
so, I was outgoing and I
was seeing a lot of guys...
00:13:41.18\00:13:44.12
meeting a lot of guys,
but I said, "Hold up... "
00:13:44.15\00:13:47.09
so, in all of that feelings...
00:13:47.12\00:13:51.09
your feelings are
very important to you.
00:13:51.13\00:13:53.86
And they really are
because I hurt easily...
00:13:53.90\00:13:55.63
Yes you do.
00:13:55.66\00:13:57.00
And I'm very
emotional. Mom: Yes you are.
00:13:57.03\00:13:58.93
And I'm very timid, as well,
00:13:58.97\00:14:00.94
so, I know if I have sex,
00:14:00.97\00:14:03.00
it's going to destroy
everything that I have.
00:14:03.04\00:14:04.97
Wow! we have young women
and young men who commit suicide
00:14:05.01\00:14:09.31
after rejection...
after the relationship ends...
00:14:09.34\00:14:12.88
we know we deal
with it through bullying
00:14:12.91\00:14:15.52
and dealing with...
00:14:15.55\00:14:16.89
disassociating
myself from that person
00:14:16.92\00:14:19.35
but it can
destroy a person's life,
00:14:19.39\00:14:21.92
and this is why we can't
toy with one another's feelings,
00:14:21.96\00:14:25.23
emotions...
00:14:25.26\00:14:26.66
You cannot...
00:14:26.70\00:14:28.03
So, you talk to your
young man, what's his name?
00:14:28.06\00:14:31.60
What do you call him,
00:14:31.63\00:14:34.50
doesn't he have a
long name or something?
00:14:34.54\00:14:36.40
Aaron was telling me.
00:14:36.47\00:14:37.81
He does, I call him: Tay.
00:14:37.84\00:14:39.61
Tay... all
right... Tay... all right.
00:14:39.64\00:14:41.61
I'm going to keep it with
Tay, let's keep him anonymous.
00:14:41.64\00:14:43.41
Okay, that's fine, that's
fine, keep it anonymous "Tay"
00:14:43.45\00:14:45.58
all right... so, what is
Tay... is he in school...
00:14:45.61\00:14:49.08
He is in school,
he does go to Oakwood.
00:14:49.12\00:14:51.49
Oh, he's a younger man.
00:14:51.52\00:14:52.85
No, wait, wait,
pause... time out...
00:14:52.89\00:14:55.02
Time out, girl, all
right, break it down.
00:14:55.06\00:14:56.62
He's one year older than me.
00:14:56.69\00:14:58.03
Oh, one year older
00:14:58.06\00:14:59.39
but you're ahead of him
in education... academically.
00:14:59.43\00:15:00.80
Yes.
00:15:00.83\00:15:02.16
All right, what's
his field of study?
00:15:02.20\00:15:03.53
Business Management.
00:15:03.57\00:15:04.90
Okay, is he going back
to Oakwood in the fall?
00:15:04.93\00:15:06.77
You know, I think he is.
00:15:06.80\00:15:08.27
All right, because
he's got to finish.
00:15:08.30\00:15:09.70
He does...
00:15:09.74\00:15:11.07
Because you know, your parents
are not going to have it.
00:15:11.11\00:15:12.64
No, they're not.
00:15:12.67\00:15:14.01
"Where's your
degree?" All right.
00:15:14.04\00:15:15.61
"How are you going to
take care of my daughter?"
00:15:15.64\00:15:17.35
All right, so, now,
graduation is upon you,
00:15:17.38\00:15:20.98
you did Opening
Prayer at the Social Work...
00:15:21.02\00:15:23.85
you did the Welcome.
00:15:23.89\00:15:25.22
I did the Opening Prayer.
00:15:25.25\00:15:26.59
Oh, I was right, I did
a video with all of that,
00:15:26.62\00:15:29.02
were you nervous?
00:15:29.06\00:15:30.63
I was really
nervous because I was like,
00:15:30.66\00:15:33.09
"Ah, I can't believe
this time has finally come"
00:15:33.13\00:15:36.53
like the whole year was
just so awful... yet joyous...
00:15:36.56\00:15:41.17
and I'm like, "Yes, Friday night
11 o'clock... wooo it's here. "
00:15:41.20\00:15:46.64
Oh, but we missed something,
00:15:46.68\00:15:48.08
but you took a year
off, not really a year off
00:15:48.11\00:15:50.45
but you went to Argentina
as an Exchange Student.
00:15:50.48\00:15:52.38
I did.
00:15:52.41\00:15:53.75
Tell us about that.
00:15:53.78\00:15:55.12
Okay, so, as a Major at Oakwood,
if you're going to be a Major,
00:15:55.15\00:15:58.15
you have to go to
school abroad for a year
00:15:58.19\00:15:59.99
and if you're a
Minor... just for a semester
00:16:00.02\00:16:01.79
so, I kind of already knew that
00:16:01.82\00:16:03.79
since my brother went
abroad for a year there,
00:16:03.83\00:16:05.83
I would have to go abroad too,
00:16:05.86\00:16:07.60
so I remember... I decided
I wanted to go to Spain...
00:16:07.63\00:16:10.73
I don't want to go to Argentina
but I don't like the cold...
00:16:10.77\00:16:13.54
I despise the cold.
00:16:13.57\00:16:15.77
And you are from Michigan.
00:16:15.80\00:16:17.14
And I am from Michigan.
00:16:17.17\00:16:18.51
You need some prayer... give
me some oil somebody, all right.
00:16:18.54\00:16:20.68
And I am from Michigan
00:16:20.71\00:16:22.08
but I always remember
talking to my brother,
00:16:22.11\00:16:23.75
I was like, "Ricky,
you know, I'm like you,
00:16:23.78\00:16:25.35
I don't do the
cold, how is Argentina?
00:16:25.41\00:16:27.65
He was like, "It's
really hot over there"
00:16:27.68\00:16:29.88
I was like, "Really?"
00:16:29.92\00:16:31.25
And he was like, "Yeah,
our summer is their winter...
00:16:31.29\00:16:34.56
our winter is their
summer" so, I said, "Perfect"
00:16:34.59\00:16:36.83
so when I got
over there in September
00:16:36.86\00:16:39.13
it was a little chilly
but the next week it was warm
00:16:39.16\00:16:42.80
and I enjoyed having my
roommates that spoke Spanish
00:16:42.83\00:16:46.43
and I did everything with them
00:16:46.47\00:16:48.60
and I met friends
in the ACA Program
00:16:48.64\00:16:50.74
and we're still friends today.
00:16:50.77\00:16:52.17
Adventist College Abroad.
00:16:52.21\00:16:54.34
Okay, thank you.
00:16:54.38\00:16:55.71
And we're still friends today.
00:16:55.74\00:16:57.45
And it's been
almost three years.
00:16:57.48\00:16:59.85
Three years, oh my goodness
00:16:59.88\00:17:01.62
and I have to mention
that you were on: Dare to Dream
00:17:01.65\00:17:04.55
five years ago, when you
were coming out of High School.
00:17:04.59\00:17:07.46
I was.
00:17:07.49\00:17:08.82
Oh, my goodness, you
know, that is amazing.
00:17:08.86\00:17:11.49
So, that whole year
there, how was the food?
00:17:11.53\00:17:14.40
The food was actually a shock
00:17:14.43\00:17:17.10
but it's a culture thing
00:17:17.13\00:17:21.70
so, you have to get adjusted
to other people's culture,
00:17:21.74\00:17:24.17
the food was pretty
good, especially off campus
00:17:24.21\00:17:28.14
like, I really
love my "Chicken alitas"
00:17:28.21\00:17:30.98
which is Chicken wings...
00:17:31.01\00:17:32.45
Jason Bradley will love
that, all right... okay.
00:17:32.48\00:17:35.38
There is a
restaurant called: Peruanos
00:17:35.42\00:17:37.49
I really love the
Peruvian food that they had
00:17:37.55\00:17:39.55
especially their Green
Sauce that I cannot find here.
00:17:39.59\00:17:42.12
Green Sauce...
00:17:42.16\00:17:43.49
It's a type of sauce
they use. Mom: Really?
00:17:43.53\00:17:45.19
It's really good, it's like...
00:17:45.26\00:17:46.59
Was it spicy?
00:17:46.63\00:17:47.96
Well, they did
have a spicy sauce...
00:17:48.00\00:17:49.46
Because I can't do
spicy... hmmm... hmmm...
00:17:49.50\00:17:51.27
I passed that time in my life,
00:17:51.30\00:17:53.07
you know, can't do spicy.
00:17:53.10\00:17:54.74
So, you did that year
00:17:54.80\00:17:57.07
and were you ever
afraid or nervous being there
00:17:57.11\00:18:01.84
because you were on the campus,
you were well supervised.
00:18:01.88\00:18:04.08
I was well supervised,
when it came to spring break,
00:18:04.15\00:18:07.88
my parents got worried,
00:18:07.92\00:18:09.45
I'm like, "Don't be worried
00:18:09.48\00:18:10.85
this is a chance for me
to finish practicing Spanish
00:18:10.89\00:18:13.76
so, me and my
roommate at the time
00:18:13.79\00:18:16.39
we went to Uruguay
for a spring break.
00:18:16.42\00:18:18.99
Really? Oh my
goodness, just the two of you?
00:18:19.03\00:18:20.70
Just the two of us.
00:18:20.73\00:18:22.06
You're too grown.
00:18:22.10\00:18:23.43
Oh my goodness!
And that was amazing!
00:18:23.47\00:18:25.37
It was because it was like,
okay we went to Punte del Estay
00:18:25.40\00:18:28.24
which was a beach there
00:18:28.30\00:18:29.64
and we got to tour
around downtown Montevideo
00:18:29.67\00:18:33.04
it was amazing!
00:18:33.07\00:18:34.71
Really? Speak Spanish,
"Praise the Lord... God is good,
00:18:34.74\00:18:37.85
It's so good to be
here" can you say that?
00:18:37.88\00:18:40.52
"Hola come estas,
mi nombre es Regina,
00:18:40.55\00:18:43.05
Estoy estudiando
Trabajo Social... "
00:18:43.08\00:18:45.49
What! now, two words, if I
say, "God is good" say that.
00:18:45.52\00:18:50.93
Oh, um...
aleluya, Dios es bueno.
00:18:50.96\00:18:57.93
It seems like they
have ten words for one word.
00:18:58.00\00:19:00.24
It is... it kind
of gets complicated
00:19:00.27\00:19:02.44
because you got, "Dios"
00:19:02.47\00:19:04.54
and then a lot of
other words as well.
00:19:04.57\00:19:07.88
Well, I think it's wonderful,
I think it's important
00:19:07.91\00:19:10.15
that people... but
especially our young people
00:19:10.21\00:19:13.08
have a second language,
00:19:13.11\00:19:14.62
mine is sign language,
you know that, all right,
00:19:14.65\00:19:16.99
and that was something
that you wanted to learn
00:19:17.02\00:19:19.35
so now, what is
next for Regina Gray?
00:19:19.39\00:19:23.32
Well, I'll be going to
Andrews University in the fall.
00:19:23.36\00:19:27.06
Another
Seventh-day Adventist School
00:19:27.10\00:19:28.86
so you matriculated all the way
00:19:28.90\00:19:30.60
through
Seventh-day Adventist Schools.
00:19:30.63\00:19:32.53
I have... and it
was kind of tough
00:19:32.57\00:19:34.37
because not too many
schools at that time had
00:19:34.40\00:19:37.11
International Social
Work... what I wanted to do
00:19:37.14\00:19:39.17
and so, I was
going to go to Southern
00:19:39.21\00:19:43.85
because Southern had
International Social Work
00:19:43.88\00:19:45.81
and so did Andrews have
International Social Work.
00:19:45.85\00:19:48.05
And Southern is in Tennessee.
00:19:48.08\00:19:49.42
Collegedale, Tennessee,
00:19:49.45\00:19:51.29
so, then, after
talking to my Field Supervisor
00:19:51.32\00:19:54.82
in Cunningham Hall since
it was for Social Services
00:19:54.86\00:19:57.83
at Oakwood Campus
where I interned at,
00:19:57.86\00:20:00.60
she was like, "Why are you
doing International Social Work
00:20:00.63\00:20:03.40
when you know you need
to do School Social Work?"
00:20:03.43\00:20:05.20
And, you know, I
was ignoring my calling
00:20:05.23\00:20:07.00
because I was like... I
had my mind set on overseas...
00:20:07.04\00:20:10.31
to do International Social
Work, not School Social Work,
00:20:10.34\00:20:13.58
but it was like,
once I had my peer...
00:20:13.61\00:20:15.98
once I had my peers coming
into my office at Oakwood,
00:20:16.01\00:20:18.75
I said, "Okay, I'll
stop ignoring my calling,
00:20:18.81\00:20:21.68
I'll do School Social Work. "
00:20:21.75\00:20:24.32
Wow! I didn't know that Regina,
00:20:24.35\00:20:26.86
so you're going to
pursue your Masters for Schools
00:20:26.89\00:20:29.79
and get certified
in School Social Work.
00:20:29.82\00:20:31.16
Yes.
00:20:31.19\00:20:32.53
Wow! It is so needed, I mean,
00:20:32.56\00:20:34.43
I don't know where the
Lord's going to guide you
00:20:34.46\00:20:36.40
but it's so needed in our...
00:20:36.43\00:20:37.77
our schools in
Detroit and everywhere.
00:20:37.80\00:20:40.37
It is because a lot of
students... they go to college
00:20:40.40\00:20:43.04
and they enter
in as: Special Admit
00:20:43.07\00:20:45.61
which is... you
have a 1.7 and below GPA
00:20:45.64\00:20:48.71
and so, a lot of
schools accept these students
00:20:48.74\00:20:51.95
but you have to
take remedial courses
00:20:51.98\00:20:54.08
and so, like, the
students I had at Oakwood
00:20:54.12\00:20:56.42
some were Special Admits,
00:20:56.45\00:20:58.22
some just got
on: Acting Probation,
00:20:58.25\00:20:59.89
which was a 2.0 and below GPA
00:20:59.92\00:21:01.69
so, my job was to
encourage them and help them
00:21:01.72\00:21:05.76
by interventions to help them
to get off Acting Probation.
00:21:05.79\00:21:08.96
Was this college students
or high school students?
00:21:09.03\00:21:10.83
High School
students starting college.
00:21:10.87\00:21:12.83
Is that right?
00:21:12.90\00:21:14.24
And we know there's a
problem with remedial reading,
00:21:14.27\00:21:17.17
and Math and Science,
00:21:17.21\00:21:18.64
and our students
are falling short
00:21:18.67\00:21:21.04
especially African Americans
00:21:21.08\00:21:22.68
but we're seeing it
more in other cultures also.
00:21:22.71\00:21:25.11
Yes.
00:21:25.15\00:21:26.51
What was your high
moment of Oakwood University,
00:21:26.55\00:21:29.62
what was your high moment?
00:21:29.65\00:21:32.05
Um... I would say, hmmm...
00:21:32.09\00:21:34.22
I would say, becoming
the President of UNICEF
00:21:34.26\00:21:36.29
which stands for: United Nations
and Children's Emergency Fund
00:21:36.32\00:21:39.09
because that actually
helped me to branch out
00:21:39.13\00:21:42.00
and stop being so shy
00:21:42.03\00:21:44.03
and I also made connections
00:21:44.07\00:21:46.47
with being that
Club President as well.
00:21:46.50\00:21:48.10
Hmmm...
00:21:48.17\00:21:49.64
And I got to go to
the Alabama Conference
00:21:49.67\00:21:51.74
for Social Workers...
00:21:51.77\00:21:53.11
I meet other Social Workers
and talk to them as well.
00:21:53.14\00:21:55.78
Very nice, you kept that
from Aunty Kim, all right.
00:21:55.81\00:21:58.61
So, and what was the low point
00:21:58.65\00:22:01.32
because we all have low points
in our college experience.
00:22:01.35\00:22:03.95
The low point
would probably be...
00:22:03.99\00:22:06.09
mental health is very important
00:22:06.12\00:22:08.16
there are often
times you get into school
00:22:08.19\00:22:10.96
where you can get so depressed,
00:22:10.99\00:22:12.49
there are often times,
I actually found myself
00:22:12.53\00:22:15.00
very depressed and
locking myself in my room.
00:22:15.03\00:22:17.23
Really Regina?
00:22:17.27\00:22:18.60
Because you put school first
then you go out with friends
00:22:18.63\00:22:22.40
then, you just...
when you get a bad grade
00:22:22.44\00:22:24.77
it kind of
just... drains your life,
00:22:24.81\00:22:26.88
but it's like,
"Okay, I can do this,
00:22:26.91\00:22:28.94
let's try harder on this paper,
let's try harder on this test. "
00:22:28.98\00:22:31.91
Hmmm...
00:22:31.98\00:22:33.78
I prayed... Uncle Arthur
and I prayed for you every day
00:22:33.82\00:22:36.58
we would talk to you
through social media,
00:22:36.62\00:22:39.89
you know, make
sure you were okay,
00:22:39.92\00:22:42.26
and could have done more
but I'm going to do better
00:22:42.29\00:22:44.69
when you get to Andrews,
Aunty's going to be on it
00:22:44.73\00:22:48.73
and do you plan to
remain faithful to the Lord?
00:22:48.76\00:22:52.63
I do... one thing...
00:22:52.67\00:22:54.70
I started to do
devotions in the morning
00:22:54.74\00:22:57.24
and then
devotions in the night time
00:22:57.27\00:22:59.71
and one thing me and
my special friend do...
00:22:59.74\00:23:01.64
we also do devotions at night,
00:23:01.68\00:23:03.01
we pray for each
other and our families.
00:23:03.04\00:23:04.38
Oh, I like that you call
him your "special friend"
00:23:04.41\00:23:07.38
I like that, "We're not
girlfriend and boyfriend
00:23:07.42\00:23:09.95
and we're not...
00:23:09.98\00:23:11.32
'we're getting there'
00:23:11.35\00:23:12.82
so my special friend. "
00:23:12.85\00:23:14.19
Yeah, we're just
getting to know each other.
00:23:14.22\00:23:15.56
That's why, take your time.
00:23:15.59\00:23:16.93
I'm not in no rush,
00:23:16.96\00:23:18.29
I've been single for seven years
and I'm totally fine with it.
00:23:18.33\00:23:21.96
Oh, oh... single seven years...
okay... that old soul in you,
00:23:22.03\00:23:25.90
so, how would you
help other young people
00:23:25.93\00:23:30.41
in their relationship with God?
00:23:30.44\00:23:32.91
Say, "You need to have
an attitude of gratitude
00:23:32.94\00:23:36.14
because God has been
good, I'm a witness to that"
00:23:36.18\00:23:39.31
what... what would you say?
00:23:39.35\00:23:40.68
One thing I would
tell younger people my age
00:23:40.72\00:23:43.08
is to remember Jeremiah 29:11.
00:23:43.12\00:23:45.19
All right.
00:23:45.22\00:23:46.55
"For I know I have the
plans for you and a future... "
00:23:46.59\00:23:48.36
they need to
remember that text first,
00:23:48.39\00:23:50.19
do not listen to your mother and
father about your career goals
00:23:50.23\00:23:53.76
because you will not be happy,
00:23:53.80\00:23:55.26
choose a career goal that
you find yourself interested in.
00:23:55.30\00:23:59.43
Oh, oh... wait a minute now,
00:23:59.47\00:24:00.80
you're going to get
some folk upset, all right,
00:24:00.84\00:24:02.64
so, they shouldn't listen...
00:24:02.67\00:24:05.04
because I want
Aaron to go into Pre-Med.
00:24:05.07\00:24:07.08
But does Aaron
want to go into Pre-Med?
00:24:07.11\00:24:09.08
Aaron wants to do another field,
00:24:09.11\00:24:10.81
so I need to step back
and let go and let God...
00:24:10.85\00:24:14.45
Yes, allow your child to develop
their relationship with Christ
00:24:14.48\00:24:18.39
because if mommy and daddy
want you to become a doctor
00:24:18.42\00:24:21.16
but is little Tommy
happy when he becomes a doctor?
00:24:21.19\00:24:23.69
He's probably not
going to be happy...
00:24:23.73\00:24:25.16
little Tommy might want
to become a Psychiatrist.
00:24:25.19\00:24:27.40
Hmmm...
00:24:27.43\00:24:28.76
He'll probably be
happier in that field
00:24:28.80\00:24:30.13
than in becoming a doctor.
00:24:30.17\00:24:31.50
Hmmm... hmmm... or a family
practice or something like that.
00:24:31.53\00:24:34.04
So, okay... so
you named Number 1:
00:24:34.07\00:24:36.97
Remember that God
has plans for your life.
00:24:37.01\00:24:39.27
Hmmm... hmmm...
00:24:39.31\00:24:40.64
Number 2: um...
00:24:40.68\00:24:42.01
Listen to your parents
00:24:42.04\00:24:43.71
but allow the Holy
Spirit to guide you
00:24:43.75\00:24:46.38
in your career choices.
00:24:46.41\00:24:47.75
Regina: Right. Mom: Okay...
00:24:47.78\00:24:49.12
And then, Number 3: I
started to keep a prayer journal
00:24:49.15\00:24:51.89
so, I'll write
down how my day was
00:24:51.92\00:24:53.86
and I'll also
write down a prayer,
00:24:53.89\00:24:55.79
so I'll pray for my
health and the Lord to guide me.
00:24:55.82\00:24:59.86
How important is
prayer in your life?
00:24:59.89\00:25:01.43
Prayer is very
important because oftentimes,
00:25:01.46\00:25:04.13
"Okay, this summer
has been the worst summer
00:25:04.17\00:25:06.77
but yet again, I'm so
thankful for this summer. "
00:25:06.80\00:25:08.67
Why has the summer
been the worst summer?
00:25:08.70\00:25:10.81
Because I never
experienced rejection before.
00:25:10.84\00:25:12.41
What do you mean?
00:25:12.44\00:25:13.78
So, I had an
interview at a Law Firm
00:25:13.81\00:25:16.44
and I was told,
"Oh, your Spanish is good
00:25:16.51\00:25:19.21
but it's not good enough. "
00:25:19.25\00:25:20.62
So, I didn't get
the job and I went home
00:25:20.65\00:25:23.95
I was bummed out...
00:25:23.99\00:25:25.59
but I began to pray
and I was just like,
00:25:25.62\00:25:28.12
"Okay God, I never
experienced rejection before
00:25:28.16\00:25:30.53
so help me get over this"
00:25:30.56\00:25:32.06
so, then the Lord
put up on my heart
00:25:32.09\00:25:34.20
to just started Spanish Class.
00:25:34.23\00:25:35.76
Where's the Spanish Class?
00:25:35.80\00:25:37.13
Well, I only have one
student right now that I tutor.
00:25:37.17\00:25:41.40
Okay, okay... that's all right,
00:25:41.44\00:25:42.77
you got to start
somewhere, all right.
00:25:42.80\00:25:44.27
Exactly, I just
wanted to make money
00:25:44.31\00:25:45.87
but then I'm also thanking God
00:25:45.91\00:25:48.21
for allowing me
not to work this summer
00:25:48.24\00:25:50.21
because I needed
to have a clear mind
00:25:50.25\00:25:52.71
before I started
school on August 28.
00:25:52.75\00:25:55.18
You start August 28 Andrews.
00:25:55.22\00:25:57.52
August 28 at 7:30
in the morning... amen.
00:25:57.55\00:25:58.95
You already have your classes?
00:25:58.99\00:26:00.39
Yes.
00:26:00.46\00:26:01.79
Oh, my God...
7:30 a. m. class...
00:26:01.82\00:26:03.16
Yes, all the way
up to 8:00 o'clock.
00:26:03.19\00:26:04.79
Mom: At night? Regina: Yes.
00:26:04.83\00:26:06.16
Welcome to Grad
school all right.
00:26:06.19\00:26:08.06
That's Advanced
standard for you...
00:26:08.10\00:26:10.43
So, you're doing
Expedited Program?
00:26:10.47\00:26:12.47
I am.
00:26:12.50\00:26:13.84
It's a one-year
program, August to August.
00:26:13.87\00:26:16.07
Really! So, we'll be
heading that way for graduation.
00:26:16.10\00:26:19.11
Yes... all right... so
now that you have these...
00:26:19.14\00:26:22.04
what kind of tools do you use
00:26:22.08\00:26:23.78
to keep Regina in an
attitude of gratitude,
00:26:23.81\00:26:26.45
what kind of tools?
00:26:26.48\00:26:27.82
Okay, so, in the
morning I pray...
00:26:27.85\00:26:29.35
and then I also
just started to exercise
00:26:29.38\00:26:32.45
so I clear my mind. Mom: Yes.
00:26:32.49\00:26:34.12
And to actually
start building myself up
00:26:34.16\00:26:36.76
and then I also
started putting myself first
00:26:36.79\00:26:39.19
before other people's needs.
00:26:39.23\00:26:40.56
Mom: Are you Vegan?
Regina: I'm not Vegan.
00:26:40.60\00:26:42.30
You said that too
fast, whoa, whoa, time out...
00:26:42.33\00:26:44.73
are you vegetarian?
00:26:44.77\00:26:46.30
I'm Omnivore...
00:26:46.33\00:26:47.80
Tell me what that is.
00:26:47.84\00:26:49.94
I eat chicken
and vegetarian food.
00:26:49.97\00:26:52.07
Oh, you do both...
all right, you do beef?
00:26:52.11\00:26:54.14
I love beef.
00:26:54.18\00:26:55.51
You do beef? Okay.
00:26:55.54\00:26:56.88
But you know, I only
eat beef on barbeques.
00:26:56.91\00:26:59.18
Oh, like Fourth of
July or something like that.
00:26:59.21\00:27:01.82
Fourth of July...
Memorial Weekend...
00:27:01.85\00:27:03.18
because that's when my
uncle or aunty cooks it.
00:27:03.22\00:27:04.79
Okay, but you are very in
tune to the health message...
00:27:04.82\00:27:08.89
you're looking at things...
00:27:08.92\00:27:10.53
Whatever my parents
cook, that's what I'll eat.
00:27:10.56\00:27:12.96
But I know, your
parents can cook... all right.
00:27:12.99\00:27:15.36
Um... I know that
I've seen you grow,
00:27:15.40\00:27:18.60
I have been a part of your life
00:27:18.63\00:27:20.50
and I'm still a
part of your life
00:27:20.54\00:27:22.20
and if there's
anything that I can do,
00:27:22.24\00:27:24.37
I am here for
you and our family...
00:27:24.44\00:27:26.57
our families are connected,
00:27:26.61\00:27:28.68
closing words,
we got 20 seconds,
00:27:28.71\00:27:32.21
what do you say...
attitude of gratitude.
00:27:32.25\00:27:34.12
Every morning that you wake up,
00:27:34.15\00:27:36.45
just thank God for
giving you another day of life
00:27:36.48\00:27:38.39
and just praise
Him in advance...
00:27:38.42\00:27:40.22
you don't know what you're
going to go through in life
00:27:40.26\00:27:42.99
but just keep your head
up and if you're like me
00:27:43.02\00:27:46.53
that puts others
before your needs,
00:27:46.56\00:27:47.96
start to put yourself first
00:27:48.00\00:27:49.33
and then you'll actually
00:27:49.36\00:27:50.70
pick up the weight
off your shoulders.
00:27:50.73\00:27:53.30
All right, repeat after
me, Attitude of Gratitude...
00:27:53.34\00:27:56.30
Attitude of Gratitude.
00:27:56.34\00:27:57.84
Have an Attitude of Gratitude...
00:27:57.87\00:27:59.21
Have an Attitude of Gratitude.
00:27:59.24\00:28:00.58
And God will see you through...
00:28:00.61\00:28:01.94
And God will see you through.
00:28:01.98\00:28:03.31
I want to thank you for
being on Live to be Well.
00:28:03.35\00:28:05.41
Remember, have an
attitude of gratitude
00:28:05.45\00:28:07.82
and God will see
you through, God bless.
00:28:07.85\00:28:10.15