Hi, I'm Dr. Kim and
welcome to "Live to Be Well"
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This morning we're going to
take about a "made-up mind."
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Have you ever made a decision
and you wavered back and forth
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with that decision?
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And how can we here
on "Live to Be Well"
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look at making a
decision and standing by it.
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Well today, my special
guest is Mrs. Jeanette Lane.
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Welcome Jeanette, how are you?
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I'm good Dr. Kim,
thanks for having me.
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You are very, very welcome
and thank you for coming.
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Let's talk about
a "made-up mind."
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Let's talk about
your early years.
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Are you from Detroit, Michigan?
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Yes, born and raised in Detroit.
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Okay, are you a product
of a nuclear family? Yes
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Meaning that...
having a mother and father.
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Other siblings? Only child.
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Only child... are you spoiled?
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Of course not. You ARE spoiled.
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Alright, I've known you
for some years, alright.
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Well let's talk
about your father...
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He left the home
at what age? Two.
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Two, alright and did you have
a relationship with your father?
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Not until I was 11. Eleven.
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Do you know why that was?
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He left to be with
another woman and her family.
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Is that right? How
did that impact you?
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I feel like it
impacted me greatly
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to this day, it still does.
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Really, are you
angry about that?
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Not so much angry, I
just wish I could have
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had the father present
growing up and the type of
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relationship that I would have
wanted to have had back then
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and still now. And still now.
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Do you think it's important
for fathers and daughters
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to have
relationships? Definitely!
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I feel that that's the blueprint
on what you should look for
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moving forward. I like that.
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... in choosing a mate.
That's right, that's right.
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So that being said,
where did your life go,
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on to college? What happened?
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I went on to college,
I went to Adrian College.
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I studied human
resource management.
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I worked for
nonprofits, I was in banking,
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real estate industry and
up until recently, I wanted to
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work for myself, so I
started my own businesses.
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I do have a part-time job that
allowed me to work from home,
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but I got to be my own boss.
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Alright, let's
go back a minute...
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During the time after collage,
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or during high
school and college,
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did you have
relationships? I did.
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I was dating my high
school sweetheart, Brandon,
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he went to the
marines, I went to college.
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The distance was a
lot for the both of us,
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so we ended our
relationship around
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my sophomore year of college.
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Were you pretty steadfast
in your decision-making
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about college,
completing college - you didn't
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waiver in that decision?
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There were trials that
hindered me from continuing
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like I wanted to, so I did
have to take breaks in-between
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on my educational studies.
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Where do you want to go
with your educational studies?
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Do you want to go
on for graduate school?
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I am considering grad
school, it is a consideration.
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Right now, the degrees that
I have, they're good to have
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as a backup, but I'm
really focused right now on
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doing my own business. Okay.
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So now, he went off
to the military, you went
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on to college and
what happened after that?
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I started dating someone else,
we were together for 3-4 years.
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Our lives were just
in two different places
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what we wanted out of life,
so we ended that relationship.
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Okay, now were you sexually
active with these men? Yes.
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Were you a Christian? Yes. Okay.
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How did that impact your
balance with God knowing that I
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should live one way,
but I'm living another way.
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You know, did you give it
any thought, did it bother you?
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Back then, I really
didn't give it much thought.
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It was - I'm
doing what I want to do.
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You're just doing Jeanette.
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Everyone else does it, so...
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Okay, let's follow the trend,
everyone else is doing it,
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this is the norm. Alright.
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So, again, were you impacted
by your friends, your peers,
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or it was just something
you said, "I'm gonna do."
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It wasn't an impact from friends
or anyone else, it was just
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me making up my mind,
this is what I want to do.
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You know, since meeting
you and knowing you because,
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again, you came to me -
we're going to get to that
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a little bit later, you were
looking for a therapist. Yes.
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And, I was blessed by the grace
of God to become your therapist,
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and it's just been
a wonderful journey...
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So looking at your decisions
to become sexually active,
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do you feel that was drawn
from your lack of relationship
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with your father?
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Of course, oh yes, so kinda
looking for love and acceptance
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in the wrong places.
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Do you think our young
girls today that is still
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an issue today in
our society? Definitely.
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We see teenage
pregnancy, we see abuse.
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We are seeing young
girls being human trafficking,
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and because they are out
looking for love in all the
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wrong places and they get
caught up in these different
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avenues.
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Alright so, this
gentleman that you were dating,
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did it become long-term? It did.
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So what happened, alright
I want all the good news,
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you know, what happened?
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The current, the current?
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Alright yes, this
gentleman that you were dating
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after the gentleman
went to the military,
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was this the gentleman that
you ended up being married to?
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No, it was not. Okay.
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So after that, I just dated
occasionally different people,
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but until my
current husband now,
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I didn't date
anyone really seriously.
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Okay now,
Demetrius, you met him where?
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We actually met online.
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You met... oh
no. Yes. Really. Yes.
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So why did you choose
social media to reach out
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to date, why?
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Well back then, it was starting
to become like a real trend...
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Like, well let's just try
it out - see what happens.
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You weren't afraid, you
know, getting, you know...
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No. Not at all? No.
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That's one thing about
you, Jeanette, I know you
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just no fear here, okay,
even when I first met you.
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So what happened?
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Actually it was
probably like 2 years prior...
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we had connected on... it
was "Black Planet" back then,
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it's not anymore.
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We talked briefly and,
it was just that we talked
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and that ended and two
years later, we connected again,
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and connected, we
talked, had a long
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conversation. How
did you reconnect?
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Same. On social media? Yeah.
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Same thing. Okay, alright.
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And we exchanged
numbers, we had a conversation,
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so we set up a time to meet.
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So our first
meeting, we actually
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went to the gym.
You went to the gym?
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So I was kind of faking it,
I was working out off and on.
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I'm like, "Hey," you know,
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I'm gonna show him
I'm going to the gym.
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That's a safe place,
you have people around you.
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That was a good idea!
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That was our first
meeting/date, we worked out.
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And you set that
up? I set that up.
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I knew you did,
alright, and then what happened?
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We continued to talk, we
started seeing each other
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more and more, spending time
together going out on dates,
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and it just evolved
into something more.
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Alright, now you became
sexually active with your
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husband before marriage. Yes.
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But something happened - can
you share with us what happened?
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Well, I want to say two
years into us being together,
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we found out I was pregnant
and we had a miscarriage.
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How did that impact you?
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Greatly, that was my
first time ever being pregnant.
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How old were you? I was 27.
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So you weren't
16-17, this is 27 years old,
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finished with college, making
some decisions here, alright.
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I'm not saying that...
I not here to judge you,
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but was that a
good decision? No.
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It was not and it was outside
the obedience of God. Um hm.
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So, go on...
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So fast forward 2014, I
found out I was pregnant again.
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Still single... Yes,
we were living together.
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Still single...
But still single.
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So now you're
single, you're having sex,
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now you're cohabitating. Yes.
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Oh, you just
doing your thing! Um hm.
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Alright just
outright living in sin
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before God. Um hm.
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Were you even
thinking about God and His
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feelings toward your decisions?
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In the back of my mind, yes.
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Wait, wait, wait... oh,
look at me, I'm throwing a fit
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WAY back here,
don't mind okay? Yes.
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Alright, so what happened?
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Around 20 weeks, we
found out that our daughter
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was diagnosed with
a heart condition...
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So even going through
the pregnancy, we knew that
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after her birth, she was going
to have to have heart surgery.
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So upon her being
delivered, she was full-term,
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she was born on November 5,
2014 and she had to have heart
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surgery on November
14th and she did not
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survive her
surgery, so she passed away.
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She passed away how many
days later? Eight days later.
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I am so sorry.
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So, at that time, did you
think God was punishing you
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or was it a wakeup call to say,
"How am I living my life," or
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was it strictly, "I'm
mourning my daughter right now."
00:09:57.46\00:10:00.60
At that time, I was
just numb and just in shock,
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like is this surreal,
like I carried this baby,
00:10:04.60\00:10:07.34
and she's not here
- so it was more so,
00:10:07.37\00:10:10.37
at that time just shock.
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It's still very
emotional for you and now...
00:10:12.17\00:10:14.94
She was a beautiful
baby, I had an opportunity
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to come to the service,
standby you, stand with you.
00:10:17.95\00:10:21.55
I remember when I got
the call and I was still your
00:10:21.58\00:10:24.99
therapist all
the way through this.
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I never abandoned you because
I have learned through my
00:10:27.39\00:10:31.66
36 years of being in practice,
I am not here to stand in
00:10:31.69\00:10:35.83
judgment of
anyone, I'm here to listen,
00:10:35.86\00:10:37.90
to provide support and to help
make better choices with you,
00:10:37.93\00:10:43.81
and through the power of
prayer and the obedience of
00:10:43.84\00:10:46.34
the Holy Word.
00:10:46.37\00:10:47.71
Does a day go by you
don't think about Jordan?
00:10:49.11\00:10:52.05
Not a day.
00:10:52.08\00:10:53.42
You know, I love
that name "Jordan Parker."
00:10:53.45\00:10:56.42
Getting through
that with Demetrius,
00:10:56.45\00:10:59.62
how did you handle
everything with him?
00:10:59.65\00:11:02.22
You know, did
you all pull apart,
00:11:02.26\00:11:04.39
did you draw closer
together? What happened?
00:11:04.43\00:11:06.16
Actually, the situation brought
us closer together, very close.
00:11:06.19\00:11:09.63
Okay. Very close.
00:11:09.66\00:11:11.07
Now you have a
daughter through Demetrius
00:11:11.10\00:11:14.57
from a previous
relationship he has had.
00:11:14.60\00:11:16.81
Correct. And a son. Yes.
00:11:16.84\00:11:18.74
You recently found out
that he had a son. Um hm
00:11:18.77\00:11:21.48
So your family is just
expanding and what's so
00:11:21.51\00:11:24.65
amazing, after getting married,
you all invited this child
00:11:24.68\00:11:29.55
into your home and so now
you have his daughter which is
00:11:29.58\00:11:33.52
your child and his son
which is your son and now two
00:11:33.56\00:11:38.89
became four
instantly overnight. Yes.
00:11:38.93\00:11:41.60
So how soon did you and
your husband get married?
00:11:41.63\00:11:46.80
So Jordan passed away
November 2014, we got married
00:11:47.70\00:11:53.54
May 29, 2016.
00:11:54.91\00:11:57.21
Now, you know, let's talk
about that a little bit because
00:11:57.25\00:11:59.38
I know Dr. Kim
was on you... Yes.
00:11:59.41\00:12:02.32
Oh, I was on you and I said
to you, "God is not pleased,"
00:12:02.35\00:12:07.02
and there were excuses and I
did not hear a "made-up mind,"
00:12:07.06\00:12:10.76
I did not hear it
and every time I called,
00:12:10.79\00:12:12.76
we did our
sessions, I kept asking...
00:12:12.79\00:12:15.23
"When are you
going to get married?"
00:12:15.26\00:12:16.93
And you were planning this
big wedding and wanted to do
00:12:16.97\00:12:20.17
all these things
and I kept saying...
00:12:20.20\00:12:21.74
"When are you going to
make things right with God?"
00:12:21.77\00:12:24.07
... Because I was
concerned, like the Lord is,
00:12:24.11\00:12:26.91
about our salvation.
00:12:26.94\00:12:28.51
So bottom line is "salvation."
00:12:28.54\00:12:30.95
And so what did
you end up doing?
00:12:30.98\00:12:32.75
We ended up just
getting married...
00:12:32.78\00:12:35.98
And no pressure
from me, of course.
00:12:36.02\00:12:37.59
Uh no, not at all. Laughter...
00:12:37.62\00:12:39.85
But we were planning a
big wedding and, you know,
00:12:39.89\00:12:42.69
we want this wedding,
we want this reception,
00:12:42.72\00:12:44.19
we want to do a destination
wedding, and just looking
00:12:44.23\00:12:47.50
at others who
were getting married
00:12:47.53\00:12:49.40
around us and the amount
of time and as well as money
00:12:49.43\00:12:53.23
they were spending for the
wedding - to put on basically
00:12:53.27\00:12:56.40
a party for someone
else, we decided to...
00:12:56.44\00:13:00.64
Let's just make this
about us and let's just do it.
00:13:00.68\00:13:03.24
So we went to get
our marriage license.
00:13:03.28\00:13:05.98
Our officient
actually had to go out of town
00:13:06.01\00:13:09.28
the day we were originally
supposed to get married,
00:13:09.32\00:13:10.92
so we're like - "What are we
gonna do, what are we gonna do?"
00:13:10.95\00:13:13.86
And, my best friend's aunt
and uncle had come in to town,
00:13:13.89\00:13:16.73
and they are both ministers. Yes
00:13:16.79\00:13:19.63
So I thought it would be nice if
they could do it, so it would be
00:13:19.66\00:13:23.57
special - so we ended
up on Sunday morning... Yes
00:13:23.60\00:13:27.44
I woke Demetrius
up, I'm like, "Let's get
00:13:27.47\00:13:30.07
dressed" and we went to
their hotel room in Novi,
00:13:30.11\00:13:33.11
and we got
married in a hotel room.
00:13:33.14\00:13:34.91
My Lord, praise the
Lord! And he went to work.
00:13:34.94\00:13:36.85
And he went to
work... And he went to work.
00:13:36.88\00:13:38.48
Well your husband went right to
work after you all got married.
00:13:38.51\00:13:41.02
Yes! Isn't that too cute!
00:13:41.05\00:13:42.98
So all the way up to
the wedding, you were still
00:13:43.02\00:13:45.95
cohabitating. Yes
00:13:45.99\00:13:47.92
Were you in separate bedrooms,
00:13:47.96\00:13:50.19
were you living in
sin, just living in sin.
00:13:50.23\00:13:53.23
We were abstinent,
so we made the decision
00:13:53.26\00:13:55.76
after Jordan that until
we got married, we were going
00:13:55.80\00:13:58.87
to abstain from
having sex. Alright.
00:13:58.90\00:14:01.40
But again, the
Bible says, "Shun the very
00:14:01.44\00:14:03.94
appearance of evil."
00:14:03.97\00:14:05.31
You know, the work that I
do is not easy, I tell you...
00:14:05.34\00:14:08.14
because when you
stand on the word of God,
00:14:08.18\00:14:10.88
and when people
walk through my door,
00:14:10.91\00:14:12.91
they know that I
stand for what is Christian,
00:14:12.95\00:14:16.79
Christ-like behavior. Um hm.
00:14:16.82\00:14:18.52
And you know, I tried
it my way, I did it my way,
00:14:18.55\00:14:21.22
are you ready to do God's way?
00:14:21.26\00:14:22.86
Because when we step
outside of God's will,
00:14:22.89\00:14:25.49
there are consequences.
00:14:25.53\00:14:26.86
God loves you, He loves me,
00:14:26.90\00:14:29.20
but He does not love our sin
and I'm a sinner saved by grace.
00:14:29.23\00:14:32.23
I am not perfect,
but every day I try
00:14:33.30\00:14:36.87
to live my life
according to God's will,
00:14:36.91\00:14:39.57
and I try to implement
that in the work that I do.
00:14:39.61\00:14:44.85
So, let's go on...
How has marriage life been
00:14:44.88\00:14:48.45
now with two
children? Different.
00:14:48.48\00:14:51.35
A ready-made
family, how is it different?
00:14:51.39\00:14:53.76
It requires a lot of patience,
especially with the little one.
00:14:53.79\00:14:59.49
He's so adorable. He is...
00:15:00.43\00:15:02.50
He's a handful though. Okay.
00:15:02.53\00:15:04.37
Which is a lot of
adjustment, so it's a new
00:15:04.40\00:15:07.67
thing being a mom.
00:15:07.70\00:15:10.04
Well, what are their names?
00:15:10.07\00:15:11.47
Jake and Donisha,
Jake is 5 and Donisha
00:15:11.51\00:15:15.44
she will be 13
next week. Really? Yes.
00:15:15.48\00:15:18.11
Alright, so they
get along very well.
00:15:18.15\00:15:20.25
How does she feel
about being an only child,
00:15:20.28\00:15:22.18
then finding out
daddy has a little boy.
00:15:22.22\00:15:25.29
She was excited!
00:15:25.32\00:15:27.32
She was excited to have
another sibling from her dad.
00:15:27.36\00:15:30.89
I know she was
really upset about Jordan.
00:15:30.93\00:15:33.46
At first she was like,
"I don't want a sister,
00:15:33.50\00:15:35.83
I wanna be an only child"
and as the time got closer
00:15:35.86\00:15:40.10
to Jordan coming, she
was super excited and she was
00:15:40.14\00:15:42.37
devastated after
her sister passed...
00:15:42.40\00:15:43.97
So finding out that she had
a new sibling, she was excited.
00:15:44.01\00:15:49.51
Every time I come
by and visit with you,
00:15:49.54\00:15:52.25
she's so helpful and what are
their names? Donisha and Jake.
00:15:52.28\00:15:56.38
And Jake and he is
just busy and I've seen you
00:15:57.32\00:16:01.46
be MOM, going from
being single to being married,
00:16:01.49\00:16:04.99
to being MOM and you
have that authoritative look.
00:16:05.03\00:16:08.93
You have that "old school
look," you know, you don't need
00:16:08.96\00:16:11.10
to get a belt... like,
really? Don't let me have
00:16:11.13\00:16:13.60
to say this twice.
Exactly! And I love that.
00:16:13.64\00:16:16.07
Were you raised
like that by your mom?
00:16:16.10\00:16:18.01
My mom and my
grandmother, they didn't play.
00:16:18.04\00:16:19.77
They didn't
play. They didn't play.
00:16:19.81\00:16:21.14
Now, your grandmother
passed away while we were doing
00:16:21.18\00:16:23.31
our counseling in the
early stages, how old was she?
00:16:23.35\00:16:26.45
My father's mother
was 93. Ninety-three WOW!
00:16:26.48\00:16:32.45
Isn't that amazing,
she had a good, long life.
00:16:32.49\00:16:36.49
So let's talk
about your foundation...
00:16:36.52\00:16:40.23
Okay, let's talk about
everything that going on now.
00:16:40.26\00:16:43.97
You started the
"Jordan Parker Foundation." Yes
00:16:44.00\00:16:47.27
Let's talk about - what is that?
00:16:47.30\00:16:48.70
So the "Jordan Parker
Foundation" was started
00:16:48.74\00:16:51.37
to empower other
people to assist other people,
00:16:51.41\00:16:54.34
so I want to touch
especially people who have had
00:16:54.38\00:16:56.68
a congenital heart
defect, assist with programming
00:16:56.71\00:17:00.22
with those people, parents as
well as siblings who have lost
00:17:00.25\00:17:04.45
a child and a brother or a
sister - to kind of give like
00:17:04.49\00:17:08.09
grief counseling,
support, because it's a
00:17:08.12\00:17:10.83
really traumatizing experience
to lose a child definitely.
00:17:10.86\00:17:14.50
I know you were in
counseling with me,
00:17:14.53\00:17:16.03
but did you attend
programs at the hospital
00:17:16.06\00:17:20.04
for this
particular loss? No, I didn't.
00:17:20.07\00:17:23.20
Okay, was there any
particular reason why?
00:17:23.24\00:17:25.54
Just not there, in some
instances I'm still not there.
00:17:25.57\00:17:30.75
I still have not gone to pick
up Jordan's death certificate.
00:17:30.78\00:17:34.25
Is that right?
I'm just not there.
00:17:34.28\00:17:37.82
I know I've gotten calls
since my husband's passing
00:17:37.85\00:17:40.89
to come to groups and I am
in counseling and I'm learning
00:17:40.92\00:17:46.19
a lot how to deal with
my own grief and healing.
00:17:46.23\00:17:50.40
And I don't look at it
as grief, I'm not grieving
00:17:50.43\00:17:53.50
my husband's passing, I
am learning how to adjust
00:17:53.54\00:17:59.41
without him and allowing
myself to re-invent myself
00:17:59.44\00:18:04.95
as a single woman, but I
am still not forgetting about
00:18:04.98\00:18:10.95
the life I shared with
him, but trying to make a
00:18:10.99\00:18:14.89
new life step-by-step,
day-by-day, so I do understand.
00:18:14.92\00:18:20.33
So I want to talk a little bit
about what you've done for me.
00:18:20.36\00:18:24.17
I think it's so
important when I meet people,
00:18:24.20\00:18:27.40
it's not give and
take or take and take,
00:18:27.44\00:18:30.87
but it's a give and give.
00:18:30.91\00:18:33.01
So Jeanette, you started an
online entity and this inspired
00:18:33.04\00:18:38.01
me to begin the
"Arthur E. Nolan Foundation,"
00:18:38.05\00:18:43.69
and you came by my
home and you asked,
00:18:43.72\00:18:46.12
"What are you going to
do with all these things?"
00:18:46.15\00:18:47.89
And I was just going to
call someone to come get them,
00:18:47.92\00:18:50.49
and you said, "Oh no, we
could do this and now we have a
00:18:50.53\00:18:54.80
foundation to help send
students to school in the field
00:18:54.83\00:18:58.63
of social work."
00:18:58.67\00:19:00.00
So it's a give-give you
really are an inspiration to me,
00:19:00.04\00:19:04.24
and now you are the
director of my online program,
00:19:04.27\00:19:08.68
and then my online store
and I thank God for that.
00:19:08.71\00:19:11.31
Let's talk about Matthew 6:33...
00:19:11.35\00:19:14.85
"Seek ye first
the kingdom of God
00:19:14.88\00:19:17.12
and all things shall be added."
00:19:17.15\00:19:18.85
What did that
Scripture say to you?
00:19:18.89\00:19:20.86
Put God first and everything
else will fall into place.
00:19:20.89\00:19:23.99
Everything will fall into
place and how have things now
00:19:24.03\00:19:27.03
fallen into place for you?
00:19:27.06\00:19:28.40
Blessings are just
continuing to flow.
00:19:28.43\00:19:31.20
Alright, so would
you say to people that...
00:19:31.23\00:19:34.04
because people, you know
the Bible says that "It rains
00:19:34.07\00:19:36.67
on the just and the
unjust," but I'd rather be
00:19:36.71\00:19:39.31
in His will and, you
know, to suffer is to be gained
00:19:39.34\00:19:43.48
in Jesus Christ than
to be out of His will,
00:19:43.51\00:19:46.75
and looking over my
shoulder because I know
00:19:46.78\00:19:49.15
that I should not
be living like this.
00:19:49.18\00:19:50.62
What about those who
don't know Jesus - who could be
00:19:50.65\00:19:54.16
watching this program and
say, "Wow, I'm pregnant now,
00:19:54.19\00:19:58.46
I'm cohabitating,
does God still love me?"
00:19:58.49\00:20:01.90
Of course He does,
through good times, through bad,
00:20:01.93\00:20:04.70
we're His children,
so no matter what we do,
00:20:04.73\00:20:07.40
He still always is
going to be there for us.
00:20:07.44\00:20:09.17
So, you made a
mistake, people make mistakes.
00:20:09.20\00:20:11.97
Just move forward and make the
right decision going forward.
00:20:12.01\00:20:14.34
So we must repent -
that is crucial in salvation,
00:20:15.04\00:20:18.45
we must repent for our
sins and, therefore, God looks
00:20:18.48\00:20:23.15
upon the heart, man
looks on the outward.
00:20:23.18\00:20:26.32
Did you ever feel like I was
judging you as your therapist?
00:20:26.35\00:20:29.69
Sometimes I did! WHAT,
wait, hold on now, really?
00:20:29.72\00:20:33.33
Sometimes I did. Why?
00:20:33.36\00:20:37.10
Well sometimes I just feel like
Dr. Kim is just like perfect.
00:20:37.13\00:20:41.64
Really? Yeah.
00:20:41.67\00:20:43.00
I'm not perfect.
I know that you know
00:20:43.04\00:20:45.24
that no one is perfect,
but I knew you were coming
00:20:45.27\00:20:50.75
from a good place,
you wanted me to do what's
00:20:50.78\00:20:52.85
right in the eyes of
God, so even though I might
00:20:52.88\00:20:55.45
not have wanted to hear
things, it was what was right.
00:20:55.48\00:20:58.29
A couple of times, you would
leave the session and I didn't
00:20:58.32\00:21:00.32
hear from you for a
couple of weeks and then I would
00:21:00.36\00:21:03.39
see your name pop up
on my phone and I'm like,
00:21:03.43\00:21:06.26
"Oh, here we go,"
and I didn't know how you
00:21:06.29\00:21:09.93
were feeling because I would
text or call and no response...
00:21:09.96\00:21:13.37
And then I have learned through
your experience - you have to
00:21:13.40\00:21:16.40
give people their space. Um hm.
00:21:16.44\00:21:17.94
You have to want this, alright?
00:21:17.97\00:21:20.01
And, you have
to be able to grow,
00:21:20.04\00:21:21.91
so, "Seek ye first
the kingdom of God."
00:21:21.94\00:21:24.55
So let's talk about -
do you study your word,
00:21:24.58\00:21:28.32
do you pray, do
you commit to God
00:21:28.35\00:21:31.02
in your tithing and
sacrificing for Him?
00:21:31.05\00:21:34.56
Yes, so we do go to church
and do the tithing, definitely
00:21:34.59\00:21:38.49
prayer morning and night
and then my husband and I
00:21:38.53\00:21:41.06
at night, we pray
before we go to sleep. Yes
00:21:41.10\00:21:43.80
We pray for our
children and over our families,
00:21:43.83\00:21:48.20
when we're going to or
from our destinations. Um hm
00:21:48.24\00:21:52.34
And I'm working with you
praying with the children. Yes
00:21:52.37\00:21:55.44
How is that coming?
00:21:55.48\00:21:56.81
It's coming, so the little
one, we do his evening prayer
00:21:56.85\00:22:03.45
before he goes to sleep
and I know it's for the Lord,
00:22:03.49\00:22:06.35
but sometimes he
tries to take 20 minutes...
00:22:06.39\00:22:08.39
He wants to thank the Lord
for the sky and the fish and the
00:22:08.42\00:22:12.29
birds and it's like well
"Amen," and he will not stop,
00:22:12.33\00:22:14.96
he will keep
going, it's so sweet.
00:22:15.00\00:22:17.20
So do you open one eye
and look at your husband like
00:22:17.23\00:22:18.67
"are we still here?"
00:22:18.70\00:22:20.74
So implementing
that, the 13-year-old,
00:22:20.77\00:22:23.74
she just joined church,
so she's really excited about
00:22:23.77\00:22:26.84
getting
baptized. Praise the Lord.
00:22:26.88\00:22:29.14
So what do you do for Jeanette
because I know you're busy
00:22:29.18\00:22:34.65
with your entities, your family,
church, you're busy with me,
00:22:34.68\00:22:39.59
what do you do
for you, to enjoy you.
00:22:39.62\00:22:42.86
Do you go to the gym
still, do you enjoy just
00:22:42.89\00:22:46.80
taking the afternoon to go
and have lunch by yourself,
00:22:46.83\00:22:50.07
read a good book,
what do you do for you?
00:22:50.10\00:22:52.60
Nowadays, a nap with just peace
and quiet is something for me.
00:22:52.63\00:22:57.77
You know, a nap sounds good.
00:22:57.81\00:23:01.04
The house is empty
during the school year,
00:23:01.08\00:23:05.11
but you're still very
busy, you're in good health.
00:23:05.15\00:23:08.72
There were no
problems after Jordan's birth,
00:23:08.75\00:23:11.65
so now you're able to
start planning having a
00:23:11.69\00:23:16.99
child again with
your husband. Yes.
00:23:17.03\00:23:19.96
One, two, three, four more?
00:23:20.00\00:23:22.23
I really would like twins.
00:23:22.26\00:23:25.17
You know, the Bible says, "Speak
those things into existence."
00:23:25.20\00:23:27.54
We're going to speak twins.
00:23:27.57\00:23:29.20
You just want to have
it and get it over with.
00:23:29.24\00:23:31.44
Two at the same
time, that would be great.
00:23:31.47\00:23:34.48
Put whatever I'm blessed with...
Put it before the Lord. I am.
00:23:34.51\00:23:38.01
So twins, so four children.
00:23:38.05\00:23:40.88
I mean, you have two
already from before. Yes.
00:23:40.92\00:23:44.82
That is remarkable!
00:23:44.85\00:23:46.69
But after all
we've been through,
00:23:46.72\00:23:48.12
I'm not going to be picky,
so if it's one, if it's six,
00:23:48.16\00:23:51.03
I'm not going to be picky.
00:23:51.06\00:23:52.79
You're just open for
whatever God's will because you
00:23:52.83\00:23:55.10
know if God is in the plan,
it's going to be right. Yes.
00:23:55.13\00:23:59.07
What can you say to
young women today that
00:23:59.10\00:24:03.57
may be wavering
and making decisions
00:24:03.61\00:24:06.54
and not having a made-up
mind because now you have a
00:24:06.57\00:24:09.48
made-up mind to serve
the Lord, to be committed
00:24:09.51\00:24:12.65
to your husband, your children,
your family, your core.
00:24:12.68\00:24:16.69
You're committed,
your mind is made-up,
00:24:16.72\00:24:19.39
and that is a major
commitment to not waver
00:24:19.42\00:24:23.06
because that's exhausting,
to waver back and forth...
00:24:23.09\00:24:26.19
I'm gonna do this, I'm
gonna do that, well maybe
00:24:26.23\00:24:28.90
and that falls under
procrastination. Um hm
00:24:28.93\00:24:31.53
Procrastination
is NOT our friend,
00:24:31.57\00:24:35.37
alright, it is not our friend.
00:24:35.40\00:24:37.14
So, what can you say to
women today and it can be
00:24:37.17\00:24:41.64
applicable to men, but
women who are wavering,
00:24:41.68\00:24:45.11
and cannot get a
footing on their lives.
00:24:45.15\00:24:48.78
I think it would be
applicable to men and women
00:24:48.82\00:24:51.95
to just be obedient.
00:24:51.99\00:24:53.66
It's not going to be
easy, but it will be worth it.
00:24:53.69\00:24:57.76
So you're saying it's not
easy being obedient to the Lord?
00:24:57.79\00:25:00.60
No. Why do you say that?
00:25:00.63\00:25:02.36
Because we live in a
world of temptation. Yes we do.
00:25:02.40\00:25:06.84
So that's why it's
not necessarily easy,
00:25:06.87\00:25:09.10
but if you pray, ask the
Lord to just be with you,
00:25:09.14\00:25:12.17
to walk in that obedience,
it will lighten the load.
00:25:12.21\00:25:15.34
If you had to go
back and re-do your life,
00:25:15.38\00:25:17.81
would you have waited until
you were married to consummate
00:25:17.85\00:25:21.62
your marriage and have
sex, would you have waited? Yes.
00:25:21.65\00:25:24.45
Knowing what
you know today. Yes.
00:25:24.49\00:25:26.29
Say that to these young women
and young men today... wait.
00:25:26.62\00:25:29.96
Wait. Wait on the Lord.
00:25:29.99\00:25:32.39
Because, you know, each
time that you have a sexual
00:25:32.43\00:25:35.96
encounter with
someone, you're connecting,
00:25:36.00\00:25:39.00
and do you know
people, homicides come out of
00:25:39.03\00:25:43.37
relationships - "You
don't love me anymore,
00:25:43.41\00:25:45.34
you don't want to be with me
anymore, I gave my body to you."
00:25:45.37\00:25:48.61
The next thing you know,
your tires are being cut.
00:25:49.34\00:25:51.78
Your windows are being broken.
00:25:51.81\00:25:53.82
They're angry and they're
stalking you because you have
00:25:53.85\00:25:57.42
given your body, your mind,
your soul and that should be
00:25:57.45\00:26:01.22
for God only until
you are married, alright?
00:26:01.26\00:26:04.39
What about, you know...
let's go here for a minute.
00:26:04.43\00:26:07.50
Fondling, young
girls, young men fondling.
00:26:07.53\00:26:10.70
Do you think that is
something that young people,
00:26:10.73\00:26:14.37
even adults, because I
have 40 and 50-year-old people
00:26:14.40\00:26:19.01
getting pregnant who are single.
00:26:19.04\00:26:20.54
You know, they have
their careers, their lives...
00:26:20.58\00:26:22.84
What are you doing?
00:26:22.88\00:26:24.95
Dr. Logan, I can't
believe this, I'm 45 years old,
00:26:25.65\00:26:29.52
I knew I should not
have sex, I'm divorced,
00:26:29.55\00:26:33.32
so I'm single, I
AM pregnant at 45.
00:26:33.36\00:26:36.83
Now I can't go to
church, I'm embarrassed,
00:26:36.86\00:26:39.29
what do I say to my
colleagues, they have known
00:26:39.33\00:26:41.46
all my life, I'm a Christian.
00:26:41.50\00:26:44.07
But we don't stand in
judgment, so what do we do?
00:26:44.10\00:26:46.63
You keep moving forward.
00:26:46.67\00:26:49.50
This is just my perspective,
I really don't care what
00:26:49.54\00:26:51.87
other people think
of me because you're not
00:26:51.91\00:26:53.64
my judge nor jury. Um hm
00:26:53.68\00:26:55.11
So, you can have your
own opinion, it's just your
00:26:55.14\00:26:58.75
opinion of my life, but
all I can do just repent to
00:26:59.65\00:27:02.98
God for what I've done and
move forward. And move forward.
00:27:03.02\00:27:05.29
So, to the young women
and young men out there,
00:27:06.25\00:27:08.86
wait - abstain from a sexual
relationship before marriage,
00:27:08.89\00:27:13.80
be obedient to
God, God will turn
00:27:13.83\00:27:16.26
your life with a "made-up mind."
00:27:16.30\00:27:18.23
Say "made-up
mind." "Made-up mind."
00:27:18.27\00:27:20.17
Made-up mind, say
"Jeanette has a made-up mind."
00:27:20.20\00:27:22.00
"Jeanette has a made-up mind."
00:27:22.04\00:27:23.41
And then you're allowing
it to pour into your family.
00:27:23.44\00:27:26.24
I am just so thankful
that you came on today.
00:27:26.27\00:27:29.18
You were so transparent
and so honest and open about
00:27:29.21\00:27:33.62
where you are in your life.
00:27:33.65\00:27:35.95
Great things ahead
for the Lane family.
00:27:35.98\00:27:38.25
Great things? Great things.
00:27:38.29\00:27:39.62
You know, I'll be there
for those triplets, Amen?
00:27:39.65\00:27:42.26
Or those twins? Laughter
00:27:42.29\00:27:45.39
And I'm just excited for you.
00:27:45.43\00:27:47.13
May God bless you as
you continue to stay on
00:27:47.16\00:27:49.73
path with the Lord,
continue to love your husband,
00:27:49.76\00:27:52.90
and I know how
much he loves you.
00:27:52.93\00:27:54.44
And you all definitely are a
success story, as you would say,
00:27:54.47\00:28:00.18
but you're God's story and
God is smiling down because
00:28:00.21\00:28:04.75
you recognize
the importance of it.
00:28:04.78\00:28:06.92
I want to thank you for
being on "Live to Be Well."
00:28:06.95\00:28:09.48
I'm Dr. Kim Logan
Nolan and continue to have a
00:28:09.52\00:28:13.69
"made-up mind" and
"Live to Be Well," God bless.
00:28:13.72\00:28:16.29