Hi, I'm Dr. Kim and
welcome to "Live to Be Well"
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In our society today,
we look at our young people
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and they are bombarded
with social media, the trappings
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and temptations.
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I think about my own children
and how they are impacted
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by all the different
entities of our society.
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Well today I wanted to interview
a young man and look at
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a new vision - his
new direction in his life,
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and where it is taking
him, but also - what type of
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choices is he
making in his life.
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I want YOU to have
an opportunity to hear
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his vision.
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I want to
welcome... Andrew Scarborough!
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How are you today?
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I'm all right,
thanks for having me.
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Oh, you bet - let's talk
about how we first met...
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Now, you know, Andrew is a
very interesting young man.
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How old are you? Twenty-one.
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Twenty-one... No, you are
45, okay, I keep telling you.
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Fifty, I think it's
50. Is it 50, you know?
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You have that "old soul"
about you and I remember first
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meeting you and you
came to me as your therapist,
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and you're still with me...
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I can't get rid of you, you
know, what is it, all right,
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but I take it as a complement.
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But your mother felt there was
something going on in your life,
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and she wanted
me to talk with you.
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And we connected and then we
disconnected and then one day
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I got a call from you that
you needed to see me again. Yep
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Can you tell me what happened?
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Well, I was in a
relationship with a young lady,
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and it ended badly, so
it was just a little bit of
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navigation that needed
to happen, but it couldn't
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be done on my own,
so I felt I needed to
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reach out to someone else,
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so that was the
reason for the call.
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What happened in
the relationship?
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We were in the
relationship for about 3 years.
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We met when... Well,
we were originally in
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middle school
together; we lost contact
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for a little bit, then we
re-contacted and everything was
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fine - it was a 3-year
period and then there was
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infidelity in the relationship
on her part and it was just
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weird navigating that
because, as a kid, you think
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if you throw
everything and you do everything
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the right way, then you're
supposed to have everything
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be done the right way to you
as well and it's not the case
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with life all the time,
so it was trying to navigate
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when doing the right thing and
the wrong thing still happened.
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You were quite
young, you were in a sexual
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relationship with this
young lady? Correct, yeah.
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That's a lot of
responsibility. It is.
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What is the draw with our young
people today that are engaging
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in premarital sex
and in your case, why?
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Well in my case, I had actually
made a decision to abstain
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from sex until... I
wanted to do it until marriage,
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but that wasn't the case.
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We were together for 3 years,
it was about a 2-year period
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into our relationship
when we actually did decide to
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go into any sexual act.
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Once that happened and
once it often took place,
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The draw that was
different from me than I think
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it may be for other young men.
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The draw for me was - I
own a business, there's a lot
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of things I do - it was
moving, it was more of a release
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to get away from something.
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So that was what it was for me.
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For other young men, I
can't speak to exactly,
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but I think that it may be
the same thing - it's more of a
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release in not knowing how
to cope with certain things.
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Do you think that you
can be in a relationship,
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and let it be a platonic
relationship, nonsexual?
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Inciting now, it's difficult,
but I think it's possible.
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Just because it's difficult,
doesn't mean it's not possible.
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It's not possible.
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Tell me about your family
and your relationships with them
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and what led to your
starting your own business?
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Well, my family background is
my grandfather is a professor,
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my father and mother - they
met when they were about 15.
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They've been together for I
think it's 28 years in total,
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married for 25.
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My education background
is private school up until
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I think it was 12- 13,
then we moved to Vegas.
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Education then got
a little bit choppy.
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When we came back
from Vegas, it was...
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going there was a
little bit of a culture shock,
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4 thousand kids in
one school going from...
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In one school? In one school
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4 thousand kids in one school.
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And like coming from
Lansing, Michigan to Vegas,
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it was a huge culture
shock, so navigating that
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as a kid was a
little bit difficult.
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How many siblings?
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There are six of us all
together; 3 boys, 3 girls.
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And where are you in
that? I am the third.
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You are the third.
Yeah, I am the third.
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Are you all close?
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We used to be a lot closer,
of course, there are six of us.
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We used to actually sleep
in the same bedroom growing up.
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Really? Yeah -
there was a 6-bedroom
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house - we all had our own
room, but we all slept together
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in my older
sister's room. Really? Yeah.
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... Until I was
about 13 and I was like,
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"Nah, that's enough of that."
It's enough of that.. yeah.
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Yeah, it gets hot
piling on each other, yeah.
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Okay. Enough of that.
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But I think the background
for me - the reason I decided
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to open my own business
is because I've had jobs
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that I've been fairly successful
at, but making money for other
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people was never really
an attractive thing to me.
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If I had an idea and I
presented it and it made money,
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you don't get a cut-in on
the things that you presented
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that came from you,
so that was never like a
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"Yay, let's make
money for other people,"
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like NOT something I enjoyed.
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We talk about, in
your therapy sessions,
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and we meet weekly
and, you know, for you to be
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a young African man
coming to counseling
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to deal with things, you know.
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I know, I would text you and
I would say, "Are you coming?"
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"Yes, I will be there,"
and I come out of my session
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and you're
sitting right there. Yes
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And, you know,
dealing with the vision...
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What is your vision
for your life, right now,
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because you're young, but
you're like an old soul. Yes
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My vision for my life right now
is just for my life to matter.
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Family is extremely important
to me because of the fact that
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it's a legacy that you leave on.
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So having something to
leave, even when I'm gone
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it's extremely important and
the fact that I want everything
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I touch to matter.
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See, that's what
I'm saying, "old soul,"
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that's an old
soul answer, all right?
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So looking at the vision,
because people can have a
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vision, but if you don't
act on that vision. Exactly.
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All right, because I
could be a visionary,
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but am I going to be
an actionary, you know,
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that's a word - like where
does this word come from? Right.
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How do you act on your vision?
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Do you write it
down? Do you.. you know,
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because you're not a
person who just does things. No
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You are not like that...
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Well, acting on a vision for
me is just literally day-by-day.
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There's nothing that
happens in a day that you can't
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make something out of.
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And, I don't believe in
wasting days - meaning that if
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today is today - I can do
something for my tomorrow.
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I can still enjoy
today, but that does not mean
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that I have to
live in it completely.
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I got lectured by my
mom one time.. she was like,
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"You just need to live in
the now - live in the now."
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I understand that, but
at the same time the now
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isn't completely right now.
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We're not promised
tomorrow, but there is the
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prospective of tomorrow.
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So if there is a
prospective of tomorrow,
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that means I still need
to prepare for it slightly.
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It doesn't mean that I have
to run toward it or want to be
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there now, but it is there.
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But the Bible says,
"Tomorrow will care for itself."
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It will, yes, yes.
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And if we trust in
God, Proverbs 3:5-6,
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"Trust in the Lord with
all thine heart, lean not
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to thy own understanding
and in all thy ways,
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acknowledge Him and He
shall direct thy path."
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You better say
it now, all right?
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Absolutely, but that being
said, things that be for today,
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the money I make for today, I
can't even spend it all today.
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I'll still have
it someday tomorrow.
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So why is it that
young people your age or even
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in their early 20s,
later 20s, they can't find that
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vision - they don't
know where they fit.
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They can't find that
niche to move - what is it?
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I think it's through
talking to other friends,
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through talking to other
people, it's, honestly, because
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there's... I blame
it on the media - kinda,
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like growing up, we
watched movies, growing up we
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watched shows and you'll
see people and they'll be
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represented in a certain group.
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But when you realize
that people are multifaceted,
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and they don't all
fit in that certain group,
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if you fulfill..
Say you're a jock
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and you fulfill
things athletically,
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you may still be able to sing.
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If you're a singer and you don't
fulfill things athletically,
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you may still be able to
thrive in another aspect.
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You don't have to be one
thing all the time - that's not
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how anyone is designed.
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You know, it's something
you said that - I was watching
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television and this
young man was a physician,
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and he had a
beautiful voice, he could sing,
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and they were surprised
that he was a physician.
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So we should not just
assume the people cannot
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mainstream into other and
be multifaceted, all right?
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What other aspirations
do you have for your life?
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There's tons - I love to cook.
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You a good cook? Yes! Yes!
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You vegan? No.
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You knew I knew
that. You know I knew that.
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You know I'm not.
You know, you know...
00:10:07.44\00:10:08.87
You know, I'm trying to
get Jason Bradley, you know
00:10:08.90\00:10:11.27
the general manager's
son, I'm trying to get him to
00:10:11.31\00:10:13.58
understand the
importance of being vegan.
00:10:13.61\00:10:15.74
He said he's gotta
have his chicken, you know.
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You gotta have your chicken too?
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Actually for me
it's salmon. Salmon!
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Salmon is actually my niche.
My last guest, he did like...
00:10:21.72\00:10:23.05
Really? Yeah.
00:10:23.35\00:10:24.69
You can cook it
well? Absolutely!
00:10:24.72\00:10:26.09
I used to enjoy
salmon, but I gave that up.
00:10:26.12\00:10:27.92
I enjoy it. Really? Barbeques?
00:10:27.96\00:10:30.19
It doesn't matter.
No, I don't like, nah...
00:10:30.23\00:10:32.59
I'm not a fan of barbeque.
Really? No, not at all.
00:10:32.63\00:10:35.36
So, okay, what else,
what else do you know?
00:10:35.40\00:10:37.23
Do you consider
yourself a chef or just a cook?
00:10:37.27\00:10:40.04
I couldn't see myself as a chef.
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I've actually tried my
hand at that... No, no.
00:10:41.44\00:10:44.84
I like design, I'm
extremely intrigued by design,
00:10:44.87\00:10:47.98
architecture, buildings,
realty, owning real...
00:10:48.01\00:10:53.01
Ah - help me. Real estate.
00:10:53.05\00:10:54.68
Real estate - yes.
00:10:54.72\00:10:56.05
So, things like that I'm
incredibly interested in. Okay.
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My business now, it just started
because it was the cheapest
00:10:59.29\00:11:01.96
option. What do you mean?
00:11:01.99\00:11:03.56
It was the cheapest option
out of all the things that
00:11:03.59\00:11:05.33
I wanted to do - I looked
at one of them and said...
00:11:05.36\00:11:09.06
"Where could I
start right now." Um hm
00:11:09.10\00:11:10.50
So that's what I
started right now, doing today.
00:11:11.17\00:11:14.44
I can do that and let's
see where that takes me.
00:11:14.47\00:11:17.01
How much did it cost you,
if I can ask, in starter costs?
00:11:17.04\00:11:20.64
Around $3,000. Wow!
00:11:20.68\00:11:22.81
Can you see that... if
young people could just
00:11:22.84\00:11:25.28
save their money,
have a vision, add on it,
00:11:25.31\00:11:29.38
something can
materialize from it.
00:11:29.42\00:11:31.49
Yes, absolutely and it's not
even this... I hate to say it,
00:11:31.52\00:11:34.09
but it's not even that hard.
00:11:34.12\00:11:35.62
It's not a saving-the-money
from day-to-day thing,
00:11:35.66\00:11:37.99
my first job was a
small restaurant and I
00:11:38.86\00:11:42.40
would just get a check
and I would just buy supplies.
00:11:42.43\00:11:45.10
It was accumulative, like
one day I would have this,
00:11:45.13\00:11:47.54
one day I would have
that, and then suddenly I had
00:11:47.57\00:11:49.70
enough supplies to go
out and do these things,
00:11:49.74\00:11:52.04
and to start the
business that I wanted to start.
00:11:52.07\00:11:54.21
Okay, so are the juices
natural or are they made
00:11:54.24\00:11:59.18
with sugar - what is it?
00:11:59.21\00:12:00.55
It is a beverage
company, so it falls under
00:12:00.58\00:12:03.39
a broad-spectrum
leaving us room to actually
00:12:03.42\00:12:06.45
dip and dab in certain things.
00:12:06.49\00:12:07.89
We like to use
teas as flavorings.
00:12:07.92\00:12:10.76
We like to do
naturals and it is all natural.
00:12:10.79\00:12:13.90
It's all natural.
Yes, it's all natural.
00:12:13.93\00:12:15.26
We do use sugar -
there is sugar added,
00:12:15.30\00:12:16.87
but there are no
preservatives added besides
00:12:16.90\00:12:18.53
natural preservatives like
sugar, salt and those things
00:12:18.57\00:12:21.77
that actually help it maintain
a shelf life. All right.
00:12:21.80\00:12:25.07
Have you ever tried beet sugar?
00:12:25.11\00:12:26.54
I have not. Or beet sweetener?
00:12:26.57\00:12:28.24
No, we use 100%
natural organic cane sugar.
00:12:28.28\00:12:31.95
Is that right? Yes.
00:12:31.98\00:12:33.31
So we've got to find a
way for people like myself,
00:12:33.35\00:12:36.05
you know, because
there's a huge market for people
00:12:36.08\00:12:39.89
who do not use
sugar. Absolutely!
00:12:39.92\00:12:41.62
And honestly, we have
tried it without sugar,
00:12:41.66\00:12:44.96
it's just not the
taste that fits the masses,
00:12:44.99\00:12:46.80
but for people
like you, without sugar,
00:12:46.83\00:12:49.50
that's totally fine. Right!
00:12:49.53\00:12:50.87
I would buy it,
I would support it.
00:12:50.90\00:12:54.20
Buying into an
African American business...
00:12:54.24\00:12:56.91
you support my business! Yes!
00:12:56.94\00:12:58.57
You know, yes you
do, alright? Laughter
00:12:58.61\00:13:01.24
And I think you bought
these shoes - no, okay! Laughter
00:13:01.28\00:13:04.48
You know, but looking at
the climate of change among
00:13:04.51\00:13:08.35
young people,
alright, do you think...
00:13:08.38\00:13:10.79
You know, you just
recently met someone and we're
00:13:10.82\00:13:14.12
really pacing our self
carefully. Yes, absolutely.
00:13:14.16\00:13:16.22
In the counseling process,
I'm holding you accountable,
00:13:16.93\00:13:20.16
we're not going to make
these same mistakes again. No.
00:13:20.20\00:13:22.86
Because you are still
very fragile. Yeah, absolutely.
00:13:22.90\00:13:25.57
And in that, I'm recognizing
that I don't want you to be
00:13:25.60\00:13:30.74
on guard, but I do want you
to be aware of your surroundings
00:13:30.77\00:13:36.51
as a young man, alright.
00:13:36.54\00:13:38.21
Now, this person - you
know I'm about to go here now...
00:13:38.25\00:13:42.15
Go for it. Alright.
00:13:42.18\00:13:43.52
We're sprint just
like sprint, let's go...
00:13:43.55\00:13:46.79
What is her ethnic background?
00:13:46.82\00:13:48.62
Her nationality is...
she is Nepalian actually.
00:13:48.66\00:13:52.63
So it's adjacent to
India, but it's its own country.
00:13:52.66\00:13:57.63
And you have not been
sexually active with her. No.
00:13:57.97\00:14:00.37
Okay. You are respecting
the boundaries of what
00:14:00.40\00:14:03.27
God is saying
to you. Absolutely.
00:14:03.30\00:14:04.94
Alright and we talked
about that in counseling because
00:14:04.97\00:14:07.08
our first duty is
to God, to obey God,
00:14:07.11\00:14:10.88
and if we can obey God,
that doesn't mean we're not
00:14:10.91\00:14:12.61
going to have
difficulties or challenges,
00:14:12.65\00:14:15.32
but if we can just obey
what "thus saith the Lord,"
00:14:15.35\00:14:18.49
and He said to
abstain from fornication,
00:14:18.52\00:14:21.79
and there are two
things God hates...
00:14:21.82\00:14:25.26
Liars and fornication. Yep
00:14:25.29\00:14:27.76
Because it breaks down
the family structure. Alright?
00:14:27.80\00:14:30.87
So been there, done
that, you've learned something,
00:14:30.90\00:14:33.47
you're gonna move forward. Yep.
00:14:33.50\00:14:34.84
So you're going to be in a
class where you say to yourself,
00:14:34.87\00:14:37.97
"I'm gonna wait," alright.
00:14:38.01\00:14:39.71
But let me ask you a
question... Go for it!
00:14:39.74\00:14:42.04
"Why not an African
American sister?" Laughter
00:14:42.08\00:14:45.28
You know, I'm just
trying to understand...
00:14:45.31\00:14:47.98
Our men are
very... you know it's 15:1.
00:14:48.02\00:14:52.12
You know in Atlanta and
Detroit, I think it's like 12:1.
00:14:52.15\00:14:55.49
There wasn't any,
you know, or you don't,
00:14:56.56\00:14:58.93
look at it and
you just thought...
00:14:58.96\00:15:00.30
It's not that I'm against
it, it's literally the fact
00:15:00.33\00:15:02.56
that I don't look at it.
00:15:02.60\00:15:04.40
I think my generation is growing
up where race is becoming
00:15:04.43\00:15:09.14
very blended as it
is. In a melting pot.
00:15:09.17\00:15:13.41
Yeah it is but it's
weird because I have a strong
00:15:13.44\00:15:17.21
grasp towards race,
towards my African American
00:15:17.25\00:15:19.91
heritage, but I do understand
that it goes back to the
00:15:19.95\00:15:24.22
multifaceted thing -
it is so many other things
00:15:24.25\00:15:26.59
out there and it is
hard to look through a lens
00:15:26.62\00:15:29.42
of something that says,
"Look at African Americans
00:15:29.46\00:15:32.39
before you look at anything
else because of the fact that
00:15:32.43\00:15:35.36
my future wife may not be
African American," I don't know.
00:15:35.40\00:15:39.10
She may be, but looking
at it is almost looking at it
00:15:39.13\00:15:44.71
with no limits and
saying, "So if there is another
00:15:44.74\00:15:48.01
young lady that does not
happen to be African American,
00:15:48.04\00:15:50.25
wonderful, if
she does happen to be
00:15:50.28\00:15:52.41
African
American, great as well."
00:15:52.45\00:15:54.48
See, I'm gonna take these
notes for your therapy sessions.
00:15:54.55\00:15:57.29
We need to do some
brainwashing here, alright?
00:15:57.32\00:16:00.79
So do you get looks
when you're out with her?
00:16:01.49\00:16:04.43
Do other people look at you,
how does that make you feel?
00:16:04.46\00:16:07.96
I don't mind.
You don't mind. No.
00:16:08.00\00:16:10.23
You know why
they're looking at you?
00:16:10.27\00:16:11.77
I do know why and plus
I've never fit in anyway,
00:16:11.80\00:16:13.87
so I don't care. You don't care?
00:16:13.90\00:16:17.21
No. Alright, you just don't
00:16:17.24\00:16:19.17
care what people think.
00:16:19.21\00:16:20.71
Was there ever a
time where you did care
00:16:20.74\00:16:22.48
what people thought about you?
00:16:22.51\00:16:23.88
Um, well I
think insecurity is...
00:16:23.91\00:16:26.68
I think insecurity is different
than caring what people think.
00:16:26.72\00:16:28.98
I've always been a
little bit insecure, but that is
00:16:29.05\00:16:33.36
due to the fear of
what people are thinking.
00:16:33.39\00:16:37.06
Just what people think in
general - think what you want.
00:16:37.09\00:16:42.46
Draw whatever assumptions
you may, but there's a reality
00:16:42.50\00:16:46.13
to the situation, so yeah.
00:16:46.17\00:16:48.80
You know, your mother said
something to me, she said...
00:16:48.84\00:16:50.81
"My son cannot just
have any type of therapist."
00:16:50.84\00:16:54.28
When she first told me
about you, I was scared.
00:16:54.31\00:16:57.31
I was like, "What's
wrong with the child."
00:16:57.35\00:16:59.28
And when I met you, I
know you were challenging me,
00:16:59.31\00:17:02.92
you were testing the
water, and each time that I
00:17:02.95\00:17:08.76
sit down with you, I
mean literally, you know,
00:17:08.79\00:17:11.23
I prepare for our sessions
and you see me and we have our
00:17:11.26\00:17:15.03
work cut out for us
every week, every hour...
00:17:15.06\00:17:18.03
And each time that you
come in, I don't know what to
00:17:18.07\00:17:21.70
expect from you because,
again, the mindset - the way you
00:17:21.74\00:17:26.37
think, the way you project,
the way your prospective is,
00:17:26.41\00:17:29.44
and I know that comes
from your family origin,
00:17:29.48\00:17:31.65
your environment, your
relationship with God...
00:17:31.68\00:17:34.95
So let me ask you, you
know you got a nice fashion
00:17:34.98\00:17:37.49
sense about you too. Thank you.
00:17:37.52\00:17:38.85
You like to dress. I do.
00:17:38.89\00:17:40.26
You know young people
and you like creative dress,
00:17:40.29\00:17:44.13
that "Newbold,"
New... what is it?
00:17:44.16\00:17:45.79
I... I don't even...I
You just like to dress.
00:17:45.83\00:17:47.80
I just like to dress. Okay.
00:17:47.83\00:17:49.23
Now, what about hobbies?
00:17:49.26\00:17:51.80
What do you? Do you play golf,
00:17:51.83\00:17:54.00
racquetball - what do you do?
00:17:54.04\00:17:55.37
I am not into sports,
but I am into working out.
00:17:55.40\00:17:58.51
I do workout around
maybe 3 or 4 times a week.
00:17:58.54\00:18:02.54
Racquetball, I do enjoy
that, but I like to do...
00:18:02.58\00:18:06.51
I lift weights, I like
to do a run on the treadmill
00:18:06.55\00:18:09.65
after I'm done, but
I like to stay active,
00:18:09.68\00:18:12.02
but bike rides
are fun, kayaking.
00:18:12.05\00:18:15.22
Um! You kayak? Yeah.
00:18:15.26\00:18:18.13
See, you know, that
never came out in therapy.
00:18:18.16\00:18:21.20
I never got asked that question.
00:18:21.23\00:18:22.60
Oh see, don't put it on me okay?
00:18:22.63\00:18:25.43
So you like that. Uh huh.
00:18:25.47\00:18:26.80
So, but I know you love to eat.
00:18:26.84\00:18:28.20
You know, you always
show me pictures every week
00:18:28.24\00:18:30.47
of different
restaurants where you go. Um hm
00:18:30.51\00:18:32.91
And you know, because I
gotta keep a close eye on you.
00:18:32.94\00:18:35.94
But the other thing
is... being prepared for your
00:18:35.98\00:18:38.58
sessions empowered me
because you have a mindset
00:18:38.61\00:18:43.25
that has to be
challenged, and I cannot
00:18:43.28\00:18:46.02
do what we do... like
if you came in my office,
00:18:46.05\00:18:49.96
you know, "Dr. Logan we
talked about that 2 weeks ago,
00:18:49.99\00:18:53.19
we've got to move
forward to be able to help me
00:18:53.23\00:18:56.63
stay in check and balance."
00:18:56.67\00:18:58.67
How does Andrew stay in balance
00:18:58.70\00:19:01.14
with your life and
all that's going on?
00:19:01.17\00:19:04.04
Well, I've learned to
keep things in their place,
00:19:04.07\00:19:08.18
if you don't, kinda
one thing takes over
00:19:08.21\00:19:10.81
or one fell off by the wayside.
00:19:10.85\00:19:13.31
So, if you don't keep
things in their proper place,
00:19:13.35\00:19:16.42
and keeping a close
eye on each one of them,
00:19:16.45\00:19:18.65
then everything falls apart...
00:19:18.69\00:19:21.12
But another way is
just to have that time
00:19:21.16\00:19:23.73
to just let go of it all.
00:19:23.76\00:19:25.46
I've definitely learned that,
through my last relationship
00:19:25.49\00:19:29.36
taught me about control and
the fact that I don't have any.
00:19:29.40\00:19:32.83
Whatever happens, happens.
00:19:32.87\00:19:34.50
Just because you do
good, that doesn't mean that
00:19:34.54\00:19:36.30
good will be
reciprocated to you.
00:19:36.34\00:19:40.18
The Bible says it rains on the
just and the unjust, (Come on!)
00:19:40.51\00:19:43.01
so regardless of what
happens, you're going to go
00:19:43.04\00:19:46.31
through some type of storm
and you just have to accept it.
00:19:46.35\00:19:49.05
There's nothing you
can really do about it.
00:19:49.08\00:19:50.75
There's no changing it,
so there's no control of the
00:19:50.79\00:19:53.66
matter, so just do whatever
you do and whatever happens
00:19:53.69\00:19:57.13
happens. And do it well.
00:19:57.16\00:19:59.19
Exactly. And do
it right. Exactly.
00:19:59.23\00:20:00.96
Now, here you are a young
man, you attend Bible study
00:20:01.00\00:20:05.50
every week.
00:20:05.53\00:20:06.87
You know, you always come
in and tell me you went to
00:20:06.90\00:20:08.87
Bible study. Every Tuesday.
00:20:08.90\00:20:10.94
Every Tuesday - "I can't
do my sessions on Tuesday,
00:20:10.97\00:20:13.31
I could see you Wednesday
because of Bible study."
00:20:13.34\00:20:15.51
What role does God
play in your life now?
00:20:15.54\00:20:18.91
God plays a very
big role in my life.
00:20:18.95\00:20:22.85
It's funny because
I've never seen God as like
00:20:22.88\00:20:27.26
this big, big thing that I
can't touch or I can't obtain.
00:20:27.29\00:20:32.06
I see God as
almost a friendship.
00:20:32.09\00:20:34.73
When I pray, it's
totally different than when
00:20:34.76\00:20:36.93
somebody else may
pray... like I'm talking to you.
00:20:36.97\00:20:39.03
It's like, "Excuse me, I don't
like what's going on right now,
00:20:39.07\00:20:41.80
I think we either need to fix it
00:20:41.84\00:20:43.17
or you need to explain
to me what's going on."
00:20:43.20\00:20:46.54
Like it's not a...
like I said, it's a Friend.
00:20:46.57\00:20:49.91
God is a thing that He walks
with you, He sits next to you,
00:20:49.94\00:20:54.68
if you decide to
go... I read a chapter a day
00:20:54.72\00:20:57.25
in the Bible because of the
fact that I want to stay close
00:20:57.29\00:21:00.06
to and I like to see
examples that have been
00:21:00.09\00:21:02.49
set before me already.
00:21:02.52\00:21:03.86
So God is the number
one thing in my life,
00:21:03.89\00:21:07.10
and He is close to me as
far as a relationship goes.
00:21:07.13\00:21:09.93
Who is your
favorite Bible character?
00:21:09.96\00:21:12.60
I can't say one - it
would have to be like the three
00:21:12.63\00:21:15.40
great kings - David,
Saul and Solomon. Really?
00:21:15.44\00:21:18.07
Those are really three
different personalities!
00:21:18.11\00:21:20.18
They are extremely
different personalities,
00:21:20.21\00:21:21.54
but they all had
the same struggle.
00:21:21.58\00:21:23.61
And what was that struggle?
00:21:23.65\00:21:24.98
You saw it in different ways,
played out in different ways,
00:21:25.01\00:21:28.35
but it was all the
struggles of power;
00:21:28.38\00:21:30.59
it was a mantle that was
set upon them that they really
00:21:30.62\00:21:33.86
no man can endure it,
but it was set upon them
00:21:33.89\00:21:37.99
anyway and they had to
figure out how to navigate it.
00:21:38.03\00:21:40.23
All of them chose different ways
to do it, but there's the same
00:21:40.26\00:21:44.73
physics - there's nothing
new under the sun, they all used
00:21:44.77\00:21:47.04
the same ones, but it played out
00:21:47.07\00:21:49.44
differently in
each one of their lives.
00:21:49.47\00:21:50.81
And I could see that because
my favorite Bible character...
00:21:50.84\00:21:53.21
I have many, but "Esther," and
how she went before the king,
00:21:53.24\00:21:57.18
and "If I perish, I perish,
but I'm going before the king."
00:21:57.21\00:21:59.71
And looking at how her
cousin Mordecai prepared her
00:21:59.75\00:22:04.02
for such a time as this
and having to be strong.
00:22:04.05\00:22:08.16
We have to be strong in
these last days and being ready
00:22:08.19\00:22:12.79
for Jesus to come.
00:22:12.83\00:22:14.23
You can't get
sidetracked, you have to keep
00:22:14.26\00:22:17.97
your eye on the prize
and I know that being young,
00:22:18.00\00:22:22.64
gifted and black - there's
going to be a lot of attacks
00:22:22.67\00:22:26.37
from the enemy to try
to destroy and he is out to
00:22:26.41\00:22:30.61
steal, kill and destroy and
you have to do everything you
00:22:30.65\00:22:34.82
can to stay on
track; studying your Word,
00:22:34.85\00:22:37.95
Bible study, praying.
00:22:37.99\00:22:40.99
Where does
prayer fit in your life?
00:22:41.02\00:22:43.83
Like I said, I pray differently,
so prayer is something that
00:22:43.86\00:22:47.50
I feel like you can do
anytime, anyplace, anywhere.
00:22:47.53\00:22:51.33
I don't need to sit
down or park the car
00:22:51.37\00:22:54.14
or anything like that to pray.
00:22:54.20\00:22:55.84
It's an ongoing conversation.
00:22:55.90\00:22:57.51
If I'm having an
ongoing conversation with anyone
00:22:57.54\00:22:59.64
through text,
through calls, I can
00:22:59.67\00:23:01.01
just shoot out something
and it doesn't need a response
00:23:01.04\00:23:03.41
immediately, but I
sent it out anyway.
00:23:03.45\00:23:07.25
So prayer is the same
thing, I go off of that...
00:23:07.28\00:23:09.92
Like I don't need to
stop doing what I'm doing
00:23:09.95\00:23:12.45
to be able to pray - I can
pray now, 10 minutes from now,
00:23:12.49\00:23:16.06
it can last all day.
00:23:16.09\00:23:17.79
And I really appreciate the
fact that, being your therapist,
00:23:17.83\00:23:21.50
I can pray with you knowing
that I'm a Christian therapist.
00:23:21.53\00:23:24.93
Do you have a favorite Bible
Scripture that you lean on?
00:23:24.97\00:23:28.30
I do - that's what I
lean on, but my favorite Bible
00:23:28.34\00:23:31.27
Scripture does talk
about is actually "Jesus wept,"
00:23:31.31\00:23:35.44
my favorite Bible
Scripture. That's interesting.
00:23:35.48\00:23:36.81
Why "Jesus wept" - that's
only two words, now come on now!
00:23:36.85\00:23:39.58
It's two words and
there are tons of other Bible
00:23:39.61\00:23:41.65
Scriptures, but the
reason that that's my favorite
00:23:41.68\00:23:43.39
is because it shows the Divinity
touching the Humanity of Jesus,
00:23:43.42\00:23:51.06
and it shows like if you
read the Scriptures beforehand
00:23:51.09\00:23:53.53
and then read the Scriptures
after, it is a beautiful
00:23:53.56\00:23:57.67
story and it's a beautiful
recall of what actually
00:23:57.70\00:24:00.97
happened, but you'll see that
Jesus steps - not even steps
00:24:01.00\00:24:06.84
out of, He is - like He's human,
but He has another calling on
00:24:06.88\00:24:11.71
Him and even though
that calling goes beyond
00:24:11.75\00:24:14.92
His humanity, He's still
able to be touched by humanity.
00:24:14.95\00:24:19.79
That is amazing.
Yeah, He understood what
00:24:19.82\00:24:22.32
was happening, He knew
what was going to happen.
00:24:22.36\00:24:23.73
He didn't want it to happen.
00:24:23.76\00:24:25.09
He didn't want it to
happen because He prayed for it
00:24:25.13\00:24:26.53
not to happen, but He
understood what was happening
00:24:26.56\00:24:30.37
and it was crazy because
of the fact that He's crying,
00:24:30.40\00:24:32.37
like He's crying
and weeping in a garden,
00:24:32.40\00:24:35.40
and He knows the
outcome, but He still cried.
00:24:35.44\00:24:39.41
Do you cry, Andrew?
00:24:39.44\00:24:40.78
ABSOLUTELY! Not
often, but when I do, I do.
00:24:40.81\00:24:43.65
That's very transparent of
you to share and I've seen your
00:24:44.85\00:24:49.15
heart heavy in therapy.
00:24:49.18\00:24:51.52
I've seen you go through
different changes, anxiety,
00:24:51.55\00:24:58.49
stress, depression and
you've battled depression,
00:24:58.53\00:25:02.26
and our young people
today are committing suicide,
00:25:02.30\00:25:06.60
they're being bullied -
they don't know how to deal
00:25:06.63\00:25:10.01
with these problems.
00:25:10.04\00:25:11.37
And, I believe that the
Lord is KEY to us handling
00:25:11.41\00:25:15.14
our problems and I
commend you to be able to come
00:25:15.18\00:25:18.78
and talk to someone because
every week is a different
00:25:18.81\00:25:22.05
concern and you know I
have my checklist, you know.
00:25:22.08\00:25:26.82
Did you stay
celibate this week? Um hm
00:25:26.86\00:25:28.36
Because I'm holding
you accountable and I know
00:25:28.39\00:25:30.83
you will be honest
with me. Absolutely.
00:25:30.86\00:25:32.59
And I don't mean to dwell
on this, but we are living in
00:25:32.63\00:25:35.10
a generation that social
media, television says it's okay
00:25:35.13\00:25:38.93
to have premarital sex,
it's okay to smoke weed,
00:25:39.13\00:25:42.40
it's okay to
drink, to go to the clubs,
00:25:42.44\00:25:44.81
it's okay to do
all these things...
00:25:44.84\00:25:47.11
you know - commit adultery,
commit... it is NOT okay
00:25:47.14\00:25:50.35
with God and the
standards that you have.
00:25:50.38\00:25:53.15
You have standards. I do.
00:25:53.18\00:25:54.98
Where are your standards?
00:25:55.02\00:25:56.42
It's funny because my
standards - they go from the
00:25:56.45\00:26:03.39
person - not from based
off of what I believe...
00:26:03.43\00:26:05.63
My standards for myself are set.
00:26:05.66\00:26:07.63
My standard for another
person, I need to know you
00:26:07.66\00:26:09.86
before I can set standards
for you because of the fact,
00:26:09.90\00:26:12.17
I need to know your
best and your worst...
00:26:12.20\00:26:14.17
So, I can't hold you
accountable for something
00:26:14.20\00:26:16.50
that I know you're
not going to do already.
00:26:16.54\00:26:18.74
That's just in the human side
of it, I'm not divine at all,
00:26:18.77\00:26:23.65
so I have no heaven
or hell to put you in,
00:26:23.68\00:26:25.58
so I can only hold you
accountable for the worst
00:26:25.61\00:26:28.42
I know you already do and
the best I know you already do.
00:26:28.45\00:26:30.45
So it's almost like, why
would I put those expectations
00:26:30.49\00:26:32.62
on someone that I
know will not fulfill them.
00:26:32.65\00:26:34.86
As for myself, I have the
highest standards for myself.
00:26:34.89\00:26:38.23
I don't meet them all the time.
00:26:38.26\00:26:39.59
No one reaches
the mark all the time,
00:26:39.63\00:26:42.13
but that doesn't mean I bring
down the standard for myself.
00:26:42.16\00:26:44.97
Okay. So you're not going to
00:26:45.00\00:26:46.53
allow the standards to be
brought down. Absolutely not.
00:26:46.57\00:26:48.94
So your value
system, your standards,
00:26:48.97\00:26:51.97
the way you care for yourself...
00:26:52.01\00:26:53.54
You know, you get up, you
go to work, you're running
00:26:53.58\00:26:57.18
your business, you are
making a difference! I try.
00:26:57.25\00:27:00.82
You like
Detroit? I love Detroit.
00:27:00.85\00:27:03.02
Yeah, I do too,
it's coming back.
00:27:03.05\00:27:04.85
You know, we're both
business owners, you know. Yes
00:27:04.89\00:27:07.49
There's opportunity in Detroit.
00:27:07.52\00:27:08.86
There's a lot of opportunities
and people are coming here.
00:27:08.89\00:27:11.06
Closing words to
young people to say to them,
00:27:11.09\00:27:15.93
"I'm going to stay on the path."
00:27:15.96\00:27:17.73
To say that "I'm going to
stay on the path, or to even
00:27:17.77\00:27:20.74
say that you want to try"
is just to keep God first,
00:27:20.77\00:27:23.51
to move within what you're able
to do, but to understand that
00:27:23.54\00:27:28.24
God takes up the rest of it.
00:27:28.28\00:27:30.75
So God has our...
He controls everything.
00:27:30.78\00:27:34.22
And the things that
you can't control, Andrew,
00:27:34.25\00:27:36.95
you have to leave
them with God. Absolutely.
00:27:36.99\00:27:38.95
And that's one of the things
we've dealt with, you know,
00:27:38.99\00:27:40.99
because you used to get
so angry and frustrated,
00:27:41.02\00:27:42.99
but now I look at
you, you're so cool, calm,
00:27:43.02\00:27:45.83
and collected -
He is just amazing.
00:27:45.86\00:27:48.50
I am excited for what
God is doing in your life,
00:27:48.53\00:27:51.20
what's going to happen.
00:27:51.23\00:27:52.90
I want my juice!
Alright? You'll get it.
00:27:52.93\00:27:55.04
I want it with
beet juice or something
00:27:55.07\00:27:57.11
or beet sweetener, alright?
00:27:57.14\00:27:58.61
I am excited because
young people today can look
00:27:58.64\00:28:01.84
at you and say, "If
he can be an example,
00:28:01.88\00:28:05.05
then I, too, can try to uphold
the standards of Jesus Christ.
00:28:05.08\00:28:09.22
And I just want to
thank you for being here.
00:28:09.28\00:28:11.75
Andrew, continue
to "Live to Be Well"
00:28:11.82\00:28:14.89
I'm Dr. Kim, God bless.
00:28:14.92\00:28:17.89