Hi, I'm Dr. Kim and welcome to "Live to Be Well" 00:00:34.73\00:00:38.10 Today on our program we're going to be discussing 00:00:38.13\00:00:41.84 unconditional love, but we can't discuss that without 00:00:41.90\00:00:45.57 recognizing God the Father... how He gave His only 00:00:45.61\00:00:49.31 begotten Son on Calvary to die for our sins. 00:00:49.34\00:00:53.35 Today my special guest is here to talk about his 00:00:53.38\00:00:56.42 unconditional love that he shared with his father 00:00:56.45\00:00:59.35 who recently passed away. 00:00:59.39\00:01:01.52 I want to take this time to welcome "Brandon Dent" 00:01:01.56\00:01:04.99 Welcome to "Live to Be Well" 00:01:05.03\00:01:07.03 I'm happy to be here. 00:01:07.06\00:01:08.40 I know a lot has been going on in your life, 00:01:08.43\00:01:10.97 but I want to just take it step-by-step... 00:01:11.00\00:01:14.44 can we do that? Sure! 00:01:14.50\00:01:15.90 You know, we've met as children at the 00:01:15.94\00:01:17.87 "Burns Avenue Seventh-day Adventist Church." That's right! 00:01:17.91\00:01:21.34 And on Burns on the east side of Detroit. That's right! 00:01:21.38\00:01:24.75 And we attended the same school, "Davison Warren Academy," 00:01:24.78\00:01:29.12 the same youth choir; we ran around the church 00:01:29.15\00:01:32.59 getting trouble - that was you, that was not me, okay? 00:01:32.62\00:01:35.29 Yes, I'm guilty as charged. Alright. 00:01:35.32\00:01:37.36 And our families all intertwined 00:01:37.39\00:01:39.63 served this church. That's right. 00:01:39.69\00:01:41.86 And Marshall T. Kelly was our Pastor... you know it takes 00:01:41.90\00:01:45.77 everything to serve the Lord. Yeah 00:01:45.80\00:01:47.97 So we came up with such a strong foundation in the church, 00:01:48.00\00:01:52.27 but what I'm seeing today, Brandon, is that 00:01:52.31\00:01:54.91 a lot of our youth that we grew up 00:01:54.94\00:01:57.41 with are no longer in the church. 00:01:57.45\00:01:59.81 We can count on one hand how many of us 00:01:59.85\00:02:02.72 are still in the church with you and I, 00:02:02.75\00:02:05.52 and as we grew up together 00:02:05.55\00:02:06.89 and we are still here serving the Lord. Yes we are. 00:02:06.92\00:02:09.99 Let's talk about who Elder Brandon Dent is. 00:02:10.03\00:02:12.43 He's a son, he's a husband, a father, a grandfather, 00:02:12.46\00:02:18.03 an engineer, a teacher educator, a friend, 00:02:18.07\00:02:23.00 just a phenomenal man of God. 00:02:23.04\00:02:25.47 So let's talk about the journey of who you are, 00:02:25.51\00:02:29.11 and the testimony that will lead into what you have gone 00:02:29.14\00:02:33.08 through in the last couple of weeks. 00:02:33.11\00:02:35.02 Yeah well, you know they say that you are the sum total 00:02:35.05\00:02:37.82 of your experiences - so when I was a kid, I used to 00:02:37.85\00:02:41.69 hear these long bios of great speakers and Ph.D.'s, 00:02:41.72\00:02:47.90 and you know, folk like yourself. 00:02:47.93\00:02:49.26 Oh, is that right. 00:02:49.30\00:02:50.63 And I used to think, "Wow, how did they become all that?" 00:02:50.67\00:02:54.70 And, of course, having lived a little bit of life, 00:02:54.74\00:02:57.34 I realized that it's just a layering of things over time. 00:02:57.37\00:03:02.14 You don't fly to positions of prominence, 00:03:02.18\00:03:08.15 you walk the beaten path, you know, 00:03:08.18\00:03:11.09 and then when you do it that way, you know the way... 00:03:11.12\00:03:14.76 You know how you got there and you're able to 00:03:14.79\00:03:16.99 sustain yourself there - so it takes the pressure off 00:03:17.03\00:03:20.00 when you realize, "I don't have to be all of that today." 00:03:20.03\00:03:23.37 Today what I have to do is be 00:03:23.40\00:03:25.43 what God has called me to be today and then 00:03:25.47\00:03:28.84 tomorrow something else, but as you go through these 00:03:28.87\00:03:31.24 experiences, you keep building and building and that really 00:03:31.27\00:03:36.11 is what makes up the journey. 00:03:36.14\00:03:38.28 Why are you a Seventh-day Adventist still in this 00:03:38.31\00:03:42.65 time that we live in and you didn't leave the church. 00:03:42.68\00:03:45.79 You're still here... an elder, minister of music. 00:03:45.82\00:03:50.36 You've served many positions in your church. 00:03:50.39\00:03:52.19 What keeps you close to the church and close to God? 00:03:52.23\00:03:57.50 Well, I learned something very important from my brother, 00:03:57.53\00:04:06.47 Cedric Dent, and we were talking about marriage... 00:04:06.51\00:04:09.88 And he said, "You know, what makes me and my wife 00:04:09.91\00:04:14.58 work is that we're afraid of each other." Laughter 00:04:14.62\00:04:18.52 He said, "We're afraid of each other." 00:04:18.55\00:04:19.99 He said, "She knows what not to do to me and I know 00:04:20.02\00:04:22.76 what not to do to her and we respect those boundaries." 00:04:22.79\00:04:26.43 So I guess I'm afraidy cat. 00:04:26.46\00:04:29.33 I'm afraid to disrespect the only hope and stay 00:04:29.36\00:04:33.67 that I know - God. 00:04:33.70\00:04:35.60 Now, it does take some education to learn to appreciate 00:04:35.64\00:04:40.31 who God is. That's right. 00:04:40.34\00:04:42.01 And what He is... He is, you know, in Him we 00:04:42.04\00:04:44.58 move - we have our being. That's right. 00:04:44.61\00:04:46.45 So if someone is teaching you that, which my parents 00:04:46.48\00:04:49.35 did do, then you reach a point where you have to reconcile 00:04:49.38\00:04:52.72 all of that that they put in you. 00:04:52.75\00:04:54.89 And for me, it was an understanding that I cannot 00:04:54.92\00:05:00.43 exist without Him. 00:05:00.46\00:05:03.26 And even though all of the structure that the church 00:05:03.30\00:05:07.64 and what a young person thinks being dedicated to God brings 00:05:07.67\00:05:12.94 can sometimes not feel good, still in the back of my mind, 00:05:12.97\00:05:18.38 the alternative was worse... being without God, 00:05:18.41\00:05:24.65 not being able to be all that He would call me to be. 00:05:24.69\00:05:28.16 I'm so excited because, you know, you went into the field 00:05:28.19\00:05:30.83 of engineering - I have another connection because 00:05:30.86\00:05:34.10 you were my daughter's math teacher and even now, 00:05:34.13\00:05:37.83 tutoring her and I remember getting phone calls 00:05:37.87\00:05:41.27 Arthur and I - "Kim, Erin needs a little bit of fire." 00:05:41.30\00:05:44.91 "Kim, I put her at the front of the classroom." 00:05:44.94\00:05:47.11 "Kim, Arthur" - I mean you were relentless to make sure 00:05:47.14\00:05:52.68 that Erin got everything she did. 00:05:52.71\00:05:55.25 Help me to understand, Brandon, how you were in corporate 00:05:55.28\00:05:59.55 America as an engineer and then becoming an educator 00:05:59.59\00:06:03.53 in Christian education. Right, right. 00:06:03.56\00:06:06.49 Well, I became an engineer because it was a natural for me. 00:06:06.53\00:06:10.03 I was always taking things apart trying to figure out 00:06:10.07\00:06:13.03 how things work, reading the make and do books 00:06:13.07\00:06:15.64 in elementary school and I knew well before high school, 00:06:15.67\00:06:20.84 that I want to be an engineer, and so I went to 00:06:20.88\00:06:24.51 "Cass Technical High School" here in Detroit, 00:06:24.55\00:06:27.72 a renown technical school and college prep, 00:06:27.75\00:06:31.32 and I graduated as valedictorian of the vocational school there. 00:06:31.35\00:06:34.52 Wow, I didn't know that. 00:06:34.56\00:06:36.42 Yes, I was ranked third out of about a thousand students. 00:06:36.46\00:06:39.89 Out of a thousand students? 00:06:39.93\00:06:41.26 About a thousand students in my graduating class, 00:06:41.30\00:06:44.03 I was ranked third and it set me up to go to engineering 00:06:44.07\00:06:48.80 school at the University of Michigan. 00:06:48.84\00:06:50.81 So, you know, God had given me that understanding 00:06:50.84\00:06:54.64 early on that this is the path for you and from there, 00:06:54.68\00:06:57.88 I went into an engineering career 00:06:57.91\00:07:01.02 in the automotive industry. 00:07:01.05\00:07:02.95 Now your second question is: "How do you walk away 00:07:02.98\00:07:05.79 from all that?" Yes 00:07:05.82\00:07:07.16 And how long were you in corporate America? 00:07:07.19\00:07:08.92 I was in corporate America about 28 years. 00:07:08.96\00:07:10.96 Really? Twenty-eight years. 00:07:10.99\00:07:12.49 So how do you walk away from that? 00:07:12.53\00:07:14.73 You know the money... you know, you know the 00:07:14.76\00:07:19.10 status that it brings. Right 00:07:19.13\00:07:20.64 I mean, I'm going to throw some numbers out there 00:07:20.67\00:07:22.77 because it's really not about me, and you know, 00:07:22.80\00:07:24.94 it really glorifies what God did for me. Yes 00:07:24.97\00:07:29.04 I started my career in the mid 80s at about a 00:07:29.08\00:07:32.78 $36,000 a year - $37,000 a year salary which 00:07:32.81\00:07:36.48 which was pretty big money back then. 00:07:36.52\00:07:37.85 Back then - yes. Okay 00:07:37.89\00:07:39.75 But I ended the career at about $200,000 a year, 00:07:39.79\00:07:45.29 and it was more money than I had ever imagined 00:07:45.33\00:07:47.56 that I would make. 00:07:47.60\00:07:49.26 So now is the power of your question... Yes 00:07:49.30\00:07:53.17 "How do you walk away from that?" Okay? 00:07:53.20\00:07:55.70 I remember there was a point where that $200,000 hook 00:07:57.17\00:08:02.31 was in my nose and I couldn't get off the hook. 00:08:02.34\00:08:05.65 Couldn't get off the hook... 00:08:05.68\00:08:07.02 I had really become obsessed with having plenty. 00:08:07.05\00:08:12.05 But at the same time, I did not realize that it was 00:08:12.09\00:08:17.33 competing with my spirituality because I was 00:08:17.36\00:08:19.96 still minister of music; I was still working for the 00:08:20.00\00:08:22.86 church; I was still working in youth ministries; 00:08:22.90\00:08:25.57 I was still running Pathfinders... 00:08:25.60\00:08:27.67 I had all of that going on and so I think the devil 00:08:27.70\00:08:31.21 was using that to make me think, "Spiritually, you're okay." 00:08:31.24\00:08:35.81 But the light went on pretty bright one day 00:08:35.84\00:08:40.35 when I was in my office and a person came into my office 00:08:40.38\00:08:43.95 and said, "You're not supposed to be here." 00:08:43.99\00:08:47.49 And I said, "What are you talking about, I work here?" 00:08:47.52\00:08:49.89 He said, "Isn't this your Sabbath?" 00:08:49.92\00:08:52.23 And I said, "Oh, it's the sunset?" It was Friday. Oh my! 00:08:52.26\00:08:56.03 I walked out of my office and I looked out of the window, 00:08:57.00\00:08:59.27 it was DARK! It was dark... 00:08:59.30\00:09:01.17 Your coworkers knew! 00:09:02.00\00:09:03.71 My coworkers knew because I actually had a Bible class 00:09:03.74\00:09:06.14 at lunchtime and I taught the Sabbath. 00:09:06.17\00:09:08.64 And I felt so bad and I looked at this guy and I said, 00:09:08.68\00:09:12.25 "I've been a bad witness, I'm so sorry?" 00:09:12.28\00:09:15.55 He said, "No, no, I'm... you know, it doesn't mean 00:09:15.58\00:09:18.19 anything to me, I think it means something to you, 00:09:18.22\00:09:19.82 I just thought I'd let you know." 00:09:19.85\00:09:21.29 And so when he walked out of my office, 00:09:21.32\00:09:23.96 the Holy Spirit said to me, "I know you did not intend to 00:09:24.59\00:09:27.36 violate My Sabbath, you were caught off-guard, 00:09:27.40\00:09:30.50 but do understand, Brandon, even though you don't 00:09:30.53\00:09:34.57 intend to miss out on heaven when I come again, 00:09:34.60\00:09:37.81 you're going to be sitting right here caught off-guard... 00:09:37.84\00:09:40.64 ...My, my, my... And you're going to miss it." 00:09:40.68\00:09:42.08 And I said, "Then Lord, get me out, get me out." 00:09:42.91\00:09:47.15 And I began to pray, "Lord, how do I walk away, 00:09:47.18\00:09:50.55 how do I make this transition?" 00:09:50.59\00:09:51.92 And I made that transition in 2010 which was at the lowest 00:09:51.95\00:09:55.52 point in the recession in the auto industry in this area. 00:09:55.56\00:09:59.39 So that meant if I walked away, there were chances that 00:09:59.43\00:10:02.76 I would be unemployed for a long time. Yes 00:10:02.80\00:10:06.37 So I wasn't going to just do that... 00:10:06.40\00:10:08.17 So I said, "Lord, You're going to have to help me 00:10:08.20\00:10:09.94 migrate to the next thing that you have for me." 00:10:09.97\00:10:12.67 But what about your wife... when you went home and you 00:10:12.71\00:10:16.18 told her what had happened, what was her 00:10:16.21\00:10:19.01 feedback about that? 00:10:19.05\00:10:20.72 Well, she was obviously concerned, she was wondering 00:10:20.75\00:10:23.12 "Well what are we gonna do, what's next?" 00:10:23.18\00:10:25.29 And I said, "I'm gonna run my own engineering 00:10:25.32\00:10:27.42 consulting company" which I did do for quite a few years, 00:10:27.46\00:10:32.83 and I think that she trusted the fact that if God was leading #1 00:10:33.70\00:10:37.83 and #2, He had gifted me with a lot of good financial 00:10:37.87\00:10:40.74 abilities that somehow it's gonna find a way 00:10:40.77\00:10:43.47 to work and partnership with God to make sure that 00:10:43.51\00:10:46.21 we would be okay. Yes 00:10:46.24\00:10:47.61 You know, I'm a hands-on type of guy, I'm an engineer, 00:10:47.64\00:10:51.91 I like to work out solutions and she has seen me do 00:10:51.95\00:10:55.38 that for 30 plus years. 00:10:55.42\00:11:00.69 How many years you all have been married? 32 years. 00:11:00.72\00:11:02.62 Thirty-two years, congratulations. 00:11:02.66\00:11:04.66 So that gets me a little bit of a resume with her. 00:11:04.69\00:11:08.30 Right, right - you can trust that. 00:11:08.33\00:11:09.66 That's right. Okay, you know... 00:11:09.70\00:11:11.30 So then what happened? 00:11:11.33\00:11:13.67 Well, I had a client call me and say his check had not cleared. 00:11:13.70\00:11:20.11 so I was working in my yard, I was working from home. 00:11:20.14\00:11:23.95 I was living the life that I had always dreamed of 00:11:23.98\00:11:26.35 because I was working like a dog in corporate America. 00:11:26.38\00:11:29.02 And so I said, "Okay, I'll go and I'll check my inbox 00:11:29.05\00:11:33.72 and see if we have it." 00:11:33.76\00:11:36.22 We had the check, I took it straight to 00:11:36.26\00:11:39.93 the bank and I deposited it. 00:11:39.96\00:11:42.20 While I was standing in the bank lot, the Lord told me 00:11:42.23\00:11:46.70 ... He focused my eyes on a training center that prepared 00:11:46.74\00:11:51.61 kids for ACT and SAT and He said, "I need you to go 00:11:51.64\00:11:55.51 over there and teach math and science." 00:11:55.54\00:11:58.41 And I said, "Where did that come from?" 00:11:58.45\00:12:00.82 You know, it's not on my radar and then the voice 00:12:00.85\00:12:06.72 said again, "I need you to do this." 00:12:06.76\00:12:08.69 And I was like, "Ah nah, that's just me THINKING to myself 00:12:08.72\00:12:13.26 about stuff that really I'm not interested in," 00:12:13.29\00:12:15.76 and when I said that... that's didn't make sense. 00:12:15.80\00:12:18.13 We don't tell ourselves stuff that we don't want to hear. 00:12:18.17\00:12:22.00 If you're hearing something and it's not you, 00:12:22.34\00:12:25.04 it's either God or it's Satan, okay? 00:12:25.07\00:12:28.24 And Satan is not going to tell you to do something positive 00:12:28.28\00:12:30.48 like train young people That's right! 00:12:30.51\00:12:32.35 And so then I knew, I said, "Okay Lord, I'm in a muddy 00:12:32.38\00:12:35.58 T- shirt and jeans, let me go home and get myself fixed up." 00:12:35.62\00:12:40.32 And the voice said, "I want you to go just like you are." Go now 00:12:40.36\00:12:42.72 And I said, "Oh that will work, cause they won't 00:12:43.43\00:12:46.59 take me like this." Laughter 00:12:46.63\00:12:48.33 And I went over there and they took me! And they took you. 00:12:48.36\00:12:51.37 And I couldn't figure that thing out, I scratched 00:12:52.37\00:12:54.57 my head all the way home. 00:12:54.60\00:12:56.64 And so I did that for about 2 years and then in the middle 00:12:56.67\00:13:01.01 of the school year, Christmas break, I got a call from my 00:13:01.04\00:13:06.61 local Adventist Academy, Peterson-Warren Academy, 00:13:06.65\00:13:09.18 and they said, "Our math teacher will not be returning 00:13:09.22\00:13:14.29 in the New Year - we don't have a high school math program. 00:13:14.32\00:13:18.49 We know that you have engineering degrees 00:13:18.53\00:13:21.33 and you're competent in math and the state will accept that, 00:13:21.36\00:13:25.80 and allow you conditionally to teach math." Yes 00:13:25.83\00:13:29.50 "We can get the other credentials that you need 00:13:29.54\00:13:35.04 conditionally." 00:13:35.08\00:13:36.58 And I said, "Lord, why are these people trying to get in the way 00:13:36.61\00:13:41.95 of me building my business?" 00:13:41.98\00:13:43.85 Now I did what you said and I went to this other place 00:13:43.89\00:13:47.26 and I started doing this tutoring, but I can't keep 00:13:47.29\00:13:49.49 adding that because that's gonna crowd out 00:13:49.52\00:13:50.99 my business and this is how I live. Right 00:13:51.03\00:13:52.43 And the Holy Spirit said, "I only sent you there 00:13:52.46\00:13:56.10 to prepare you for this call." 00:13:56.13\00:13:59.80 So I took the call and I've been there 00:13:59.83\00:14:03.47 what 5 years? Five years. 00:14:03.51\00:14:05.91 Five years later, gave me the opportunity to get a better 00:14:05.94\00:14:10.81 relationship with Erin and you mentioned, you know, 00:14:10.85\00:14:18.52 getting the call and I had to put her in the front of the 00:14:18.55\00:14:20.62 the class sitting next to me and this, that and the other, 00:14:20.66\00:14:23.09 but what you probably did NOT know is that I was that 00:14:23.12\00:14:27.00 same student back in the day, my desk would start off 00:14:27.03\00:14:30.83 in the rank and file like everybody else, 00:14:30.87\00:14:32.83 and it took each teacher every year about 2 weeks to 00:14:32.87\00:14:35.87 figure out that my desk needed to be next to theirs. 00:14:35.90\00:14:38.24 And so, I got it, I got Erin and I was able to pour into her. 00:14:38.27\00:14:43.31 So what I loved about it was, when Erin was away 00:14:44.35\00:14:46.75 in boarding school, how we reached out to you. 00:14:46.78\00:14:49.42 She was having difficulty in her math class, 00:14:49.45\00:14:52.25 and she took the exam because you assisted her. 00:14:52.29\00:14:55.19 Then they accused her of cheating and they wanted her 00:14:55.22\00:14:58.29 to take the entire exam over again and we reached out to 00:14:58.33\00:15:01.80 you once again and you said, "No, have them give her 00:15:01.83\00:15:05.27 a few questions; show the work because we didn't understand 00:15:05.30\00:15:08.84 why they didn't even require the work, 00:15:08.87\00:15:11.17 but each teacher is different. 00:15:11.21\00:15:13.11 But you were there for us, you, your wife, Alice, 00:15:13.14\00:15:16.44 your entire family and we really appreciate 00:15:16.48\00:15:19.85 how you were there for Erin in a very difficult time. 00:15:19.88\00:15:23.05 Another thing that you helped Arthur and I with 00:15:23.08\00:15:25.95 was our finances. 00:15:25.99\00:15:27.32 We were working in a very small arena and you said 00:15:27.36\00:15:29.79 if we do A, B, C and D, our finances would grow. 00:15:29.82\00:15:34.16 But the one thing you really wanted us to do 00:15:34.20\00:15:36.97 and help us understand to give to Christian Seventh-day 00:15:37.00\00:15:40.30 Adventist education. 00:15:40.34\00:15:42.24 I was like - you know, I need to buy some shoes and things, 00:15:42.27\00:15:45.41 okay... and you said "No, help children go to school, 00:15:45.44\00:15:50.71 and the Lord will bless you." 00:15:50.75\00:15:52.61 So we did what you told us to do and, indeed, 00:15:52.65\00:15:56.05 the Lord blessed us, oh, 10 times over, 00:15:56.08\00:15:59.99 and then you also guided us what to do with our finances... 00:16:00.02\00:16:03.43 how to invest and why is it that we don't want to 00:16:03.46\00:16:07.13 listen to our own people? What is that? 00:16:07.16\00:16:10.23 Um, well now that's just a whole nother... 00:16:10.27\00:16:14.17 That's a whole nother program! 00:16:14.24\00:16:15.70 Yeah, a social phenomenon. 00:16:15.74\00:16:17.17 We don't want people in our business. 00:16:17.21\00:16:18.87 We don't want people to know. Right 00:16:18.91\00:16:20.24 And you came over and I did like this... 00:16:20.61\00:16:22.48 Here is our books, our finances, our checkbook, 00:16:22.51\00:16:26.18 you went through everything and said, "Okay, this is what 00:16:26.21\00:16:29.05 we need to do because if you don't do this, 00:16:29.08\00:16:31.35 in 10 years, you're going to be broke." Right 00:16:31.39\00:16:33.79 And I was like... you know. 00:16:33.82\00:16:35.89 Well let me pay you a compliment... 00:16:35.92\00:16:37.39 You and Arthur a compliment... What I've seen is that 00:16:37.43\00:16:42.30 you break that mold of not trusting yourselves 00:16:42.33\00:16:47.44 your resources, your direction with the advice of 00:16:47.47\00:16:52.27 people that look like you. Okay? 00:16:52.31\00:16:55.41 For some reason - I won't try to explain this social 00:16:55.44\00:16:58.18 phenomenon, we seem to have a less regard for the advice, 00:16:58.21\00:17:04.15 the skills and the abilities of our fellow African Americans. 00:17:04.19\00:17:09.19 And one thing that has been very admirable about 00:17:09.22\00:17:12.69 you and Arthur is that you did not fall into that category. 00:17:12.73\00:17:16.33 I have seen you over and over and over give your business 00:17:16.36\00:17:19.77 to fellow African Americans. Yes 00:17:19.80\00:17:22.07 And some that may have even really needed the business, 00:17:22.10\00:17:24.77 I don't know if that was you just ministering to them, 00:17:24.81\00:17:27.44 and say, "Well if they mess this up, 00:17:27.48\00:17:29.04 we'll give them a little something to play with, 00:17:29.08\00:17:30.51 and if they mess this up, it won't hurt us." 00:17:30.55\00:17:31.91 But let us take this opportunity to see if we can bless them. 00:17:31.98\00:17:35.52 And, of course, God's word is true, right? Yes it is true. 00:17:35.55\00:17:39.05 You give, it will be given back to you... 00:17:39.09\00:17:41.02 Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over! 00:17:41.06\00:17:44.56 There you go. No, don't get me preaching! 00:17:44.59\00:17:46.13 All right and even when we were Family Life directors of the 00:17:46.16\00:17:49.66 Conference, you took care of all of our supplies, T-shirts; 00:17:49.70\00:17:54.87 we could have went to other businesses and Arthur and I 00:17:54.90\00:17:57.51 both agreed - Let Brandon handle everything, 00:17:57.54\00:18:00.18 and the work was absolutely beautiful. Yeah 00:18:00.21\00:18:03.24 And we need to support and help each other. 00:18:03.28\00:18:05.45 Let's talk about being, you know, a husband, a father, 00:18:05.48\00:18:10.05 a grandfather - how do you balance all of that? 00:18:10.09\00:18:13.15 Well first of all, the people that you're in relationship with 00:18:13.19\00:18:18.89 and maybe this is a novel perspective, 00:18:18.93\00:18:21.73 they're part of the balancing act, right? That's right! 00:18:21.76\00:18:25.30 Sometimes when I want to, you know, overdo the 00:18:25.33\00:18:31.47 husband role with my wife, she'll help me balance it. 00:18:31.51\00:18:35.58 She'll give me a perspective, right? 00:18:35.61\00:18:38.18 I remember, I used to like to plan these dream vacations, 00:18:38.21\00:18:41.68 and you probably do the same thing where you got 00:18:41.72\00:18:43.39 this scheduled - we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this, 00:18:43.42\00:18:45.45 we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this, 00:18:45.49\00:18:48.09 and Alice just wants to relax a little bit. Right? 00:18:48.12\00:18:52.23 And she would say, "Hey, you know what? 00:18:52.26\00:18:54.20 "Today, let's just sit around the pool." 00:18:54.23\00:18:56.06 I'm thinking, "But the theme parks, but this, but that, 00:18:56.10\00:18:59.97 but that big diner." 00:19:00.00\00:19:01.34 "Let's just relax around the pool." 00:19:01.37\00:19:03.97 So when you're in a relationship with other people, 00:19:04.01\00:19:06.21 if you can balance it a little better, if you also 00:19:06.24\00:19:09.88 take some clues from them. Right? 00:19:09.91\00:19:12.55 I like that! Children are the same way. 00:19:12.58\00:19:14.05 They reach a point where they don't want to be 00:19:14.08\00:19:17.25 bothered right now, given that space, you know. 00:19:17.29\00:19:20.06 So if you try to insist on your agenda, especially if you're 00:19:20.09\00:19:25.26 A- type personality, like me... Yes, and me... Laughter 00:19:25.29\00:19:28.06 Hey see, I was going to be self-condemning. Laughter 00:19:28.10\00:19:30.60 I don't put that on you, but confession is good for the soul. 00:19:30.67\00:19:33.70 Yes it is! 00:19:33.74\00:19:35.07 But you will wear yourself out doing that. Yes you will. 00:19:35.10\00:19:37.57 I know that my general manager of "Dare to Dream" 00:19:37.61\00:19:42.08 just said something to me last night, Dr. Lewis, 00:19:42.11\00:19:45.65 she said to me, "You know, I don't want you to have a 00:19:45.68\00:19:48.18 relapse; I don't want you to burn yourself out, 00:19:48.22\00:19:51.39 you've got to pace yourself, you know, 00:19:51.42\00:19:53.49 so that we could look at the longevity of "Live to Be Well." 00:19:53.52\00:19:57.03 How can you do a program called "Live to Be Well" 00:19:57.06\00:19:59.49 when you're not well. Right 00:19:59.53\00:20:01.13 So I took it to heart and I went home and I really 00:20:01.16\00:20:03.87 prayed over her words. 00:20:03.90\00:20:05.23 So I thank the Lord for her ministering to me last night 00:20:05.27\00:20:07.67 because sometimes you have to say, "No," you have to just 00:20:07.70\00:20:10.54 sit back and look at your situation and reassess yourself. 00:20:10.57\00:20:16.11 So I use three words, I use: "Accountability, Assessment 00:20:16.14\00:20:20.92 and Value" and I use them with all my clients. 00:20:20.95\00:20:24.22 But you have 3 children, you have 2 sons and you have 00:20:24.25\00:20:28.09 a beautiful baby girl. 00:20:28.12\00:20:30.23 Well, you know, it's been a very rich experience, 00:20:30.26\00:20:33.50 and I just find it phenomenal how these people can 00:20:33.53\00:20:37.20 come into the world who you've never known ever before 00:20:37.23\00:20:40.27 in your life and in a few short years, 00:20:40.30\00:20:43.30 they mean EVERYTHING to you, your babies. 00:20:43.34\00:20:47.01 And so I was engaged with them on many fronts, 00:20:47.04\00:20:53.35 their athletics - I mentioned earlier that I was their 00:20:53.72\00:20:57.82 Pathfinder leader, but I became the Pathfinder leader because 00:20:57.85\00:21:03.09 they got in Pathfinders and I wanted to be a 00:21:03.12\00:21:05.99 part of that experience with them. 00:21:06.03\00:21:08.73 And so, we played basketball together, you know, 00:21:08.76\00:21:13.10 I was coaching and then when they got older, 00:21:13.13\00:21:16.60 and got in the men's league, I will still thinking that I 00:21:16.64\00:21:19.44 had enough youth to play, so I played with them. 00:21:19.47\00:21:21.98 There was some overlap there. There was some overlap - okay. 00:21:22.01\00:21:24.01 And so being engaged with them and what they like, 00:21:24.15\00:21:27.75 and what they want to do is what worked for me. 00:21:27.78\00:21:32.49 And it was kind of interesting because my grandson 00:21:32.52\00:21:35.86 was over and he was playing basketball and I was 00:21:35.89\00:21:38.56 trying to teach him plays and at some point in time, 00:21:38.59\00:21:41.96 he said, "Grandpa, can we just play basketball?" 00:21:42.00\00:21:45.40 Did he say that? Did Jeremiah say that? 00:21:45.43\00:21:46.77 Yeah, yeah. It kinda hurt my feelings because I really 00:21:46.80\00:21:49.60 wanted to teach him the plays. 00:21:49.64\00:21:51.44 But I had to learn to engage him in a way 00:21:52.17\00:21:56.85 that worked for both him AND me. 00:21:56.88\00:21:58.41 It can't be just for me. Right? 00:21:58.45\00:22:00.35 So you support Seventh-day Adventist Christian education; 00:22:00.38\00:22:02.95 your children have done well; now you have just recently 00:22:02.98\00:22:08.89 gone through something. Right 00:22:08.92\00:22:10.36 You know, let's talk about that. 00:22:10.39\00:22:12.16 Well, I just lost my father. Yes, I'm so sorry. 00:22:12.19\00:22:16.46 ...On the Fourth of July, so these holidays 00:22:16.50\00:22:19.63 sometimes they get marked and the devil tries to 00:22:19.67\00:22:23.10 to do that because he thinks that that will keep us 00:22:23.14\00:22:26.17 perpetually down every time that day rolls around and I'm 00:22:26.21\00:22:32.31 inclined to look at it differently that it can be 00:22:32.35\00:22:38.95 a marker that reminds us of the love and the greatness... 00:22:38.99\00:22:42.06 so that when I see those fireworks going off, 00:22:43.29\00:22:46.46 right? - for me it will mean something different than for 00:22:46.49\00:22:50.50 other people - it will be a reminder of the greatness 00:22:50.53\00:22:53.03 and the love that my father bestowed on us. 00:22:53.07\00:22:55.20 How old was your father? 00:22:55.24\00:22:56.57 My father was 93! That is amazing! 00:22:56.60\00:23:00.64 Amazing, yeah. Amazing. 00:23:00.68\00:23:02.01 And in his right mind. In his right mind. 00:23:02.04\00:23:04.21 You know, you texted me, your wife, Alice, 00:23:04.25\00:23:06.75 text me and you said to me, "This might be difficult 00:23:06.78\00:23:10.69 for you to come, but I think you need to come see dad," 00:23:10.72\00:23:14.22 because he was my spiritual father, so I was 6 years old. 00:23:14.26\00:23:17.43 And I'm going to tell this quick story... 00:23:17.46\00:23:19.46 I used to talk a lot, I don't know why, 00:23:19.49\00:23:21.76 you know, people might think I talk a lot... 00:23:21.80\00:23:23.50 You said "used to." I used to! Okay. 00:23:23.53\00:23:25.67 And you think he got the victory? 00:23:25.70\00:23:27.07 I got the victory over that. 00:23:27.10\00:23:28.44 So you're going to be fine with that one? 00:23:28.47\00:23:30.31 And I walked up to him and he said to me... 00:23:30.34\00:23:32.84 "Little girl, you are so talkative, 00:23:32.87\00:23:35.38 do you EVER stop talking?" 00:23:35.41\00:23:37.08 And I looked at him like, "Who are YOU?" 00:23:37.11\00:23:40.22 And so I went home, but after dinner, we went back, 00:23:40.25\00:23:44.69 and my mother said, "When you go back and see Sam Dent, 00:23:44.72\00:23:48.22 you tell Brother Dent, you are not talkative, 00:23:48.26\00:23:50.99 but you are loquacious." 00:23:51.03\00:23:52.56 So I went back and I went and I found him and I said... 00:23:52.59\00:23:55.93 "Brother Dent, (I pulled on his jacket) he looked down at me 00:23:55.96\00:23:59.03 like - "WHAT is it?" 00:23:59.07\00:24:00.84 And I said, "I'm not talkative, I'm loquacious!" 00:24:00.87\00:24:04.07 He just said, "Well you have some potential, all right?" 00:24:04.11\00:24:07.64 So when I got your text, I ended my day, 00:24:07.68\00:24:13.05 I came right out to see him and he said to me... 00:24:13.08\00:24:17.62 "Kim," and I said, "Hi dad," and he gave me some kisses, 00:24:17.65\00:24:23.26 and he whispered to me, he said, "I'm tired Kim." 00:24:23.29\00:24:27.53 And I said, "I know dad," you know. 00:24:27.56\00:24:29.70 But prior to that, people would ask me all the time... 00:24:29.73\00:24:33.84 "How are you?" after Arthur passed. 00:24:33.87\00:24:35.80 And I would say day-by-day, I saw dad at the baby blessing, 00:24:35.84\00:24:40.68 and dad said, "You know Kim, how are you?" 00:24:41.21\00:24:43.88 He was the first person I answered that question. 00:24:43.91\00:24:46.75 I said, "Not good." 00:24:46.78\00:24:48.52 He said, "All right, so what are we going to do about it?" 00:24:48.55\00:24:52.75 "What can we do, where are we going to go from this point on?" 00:24:52.79\00:24:56.73 And you saw me, I sat there and I talked with him. 00:24:56.76\00:24:59.03 I thank the Lord for the time because I have known 00:24:59.06\00:25:03.83 him all my life and he told me, "You're going to go to college, 00:25:03.87\00:25:07.67 when I came back he said, "Okay grad school." 00:25:08.10\00:25:09.97 He said, "All right Miss Loquacious, you're going 00:25:10.01\00:25:12.81 to go to your PhDs." Right 00:25:12.84\00:25:15.11 But on his 90th birthday celebration, I got a call 00:25:15.14\00:25:18.01 from you and your wife, you know, to speak... 00:25:18.05\00:25:20.92 I mean, all the young people that was in that circle, 00:25:20.95\00:25:23.59 I was so honored to stand on that stage to bring words, 00:25:23.62\00:25:28.22 you know, truly a great man. 00:25:28.26\00:25:30.63 How is your heart, your heart? 00:25:30.66\00:25:32.96 Well, you know, it's heavy. 00:25:32.99\00:25:35.50 But, you know, until you go through this, 00:25:35.86\00:25:39.00 you don't get a full appreciation 00:25:39.03\00:25:41.04 for how the Lord carries you through. 00:25:41.07\00:25:43.87 Still I have my moments, but for the most part, 00:25:43.91\00:25:47.04 I'm encouraged. Yes 00:25:47.08\00:25:49.24 I'm still inspired, I have... I was going to say 93 years of 00:25:49.28\00:25:55.52 investment, but I ain't that old. Uh huh - no, no. 00:25:55.55\00:25:58.75 Excuse my French, but 50 some odd years... Is that right? 00:25:58.79\00:26:02.56 I was going to say 40, if you're there, really?. 00:26:02.59\00:26:04.69 Well, I'll take that. Are you old as me? No, okay. 00:26:04.73\00:26:06.83 Leave that alone. Leave that alone. Laughter 00:26:06.86\00:26:09.06 But I have that, I have that and he's instilled in me, 00:26:09.10\00:26:12.93 and I can pay that forward, I've been paying that forward. 00:26:12.97\00:26:15.64 We talked earlier about how I do what I do and where I 00:26:15.67\00:26:21.94 get it from and even I'm inspired by many people... 00:26:21.98\00:26:24.31 my wife, my children, but also my father. Your father. 00:26:24.35\00:26:27.22 And I'm able to take a lot of that and pay that forward, 00:26:27.25\00:26:31.42 and that is a good source for why I do what I do. 00:26:31.45\00:26:35.02 Well you're heading on a new journey now, you know 00:26:35.06\00:26:38.49 God has a new direction for you and your family, 00:26:38.53\00:26:41.90 your mother - how is your mom doing? 00:26:41.93\00:26:44.27 Mom is hanging in there, I spoke to her 00:26:44.30\00:26:46.74 and said, "Mom, how are you doing?" 00:26:46.77\00:26:49.17 And she said, "I have decided that I am going to press on." 00:26:49.20\00:26:53.01 Press on! Press on. Press on. 00:26:53.04\00:26:55.11 You know, I was singing with dad - "Pass Me Not Oh 00:26:55.14\00:26:58.45 Gentle Savior," and you walked in and Alice walked in 00:26:58.48\00:27:01.18 because I remember hearing the hymns as a little girl, 00:27:01.22\00:27:04.09 and he would be up directing and singing those songs, 00:27:04.12\00:27:07.29 I know that we have something wonderful to look forward to 00:27:07.32\00:27:12.39 the first resurrection - "The trumpet shall sound 00:27:12.43\00:27:15.40 and the dead in Christ shall rise first," and I am 00:27:15.43\00:27:18.77 looking ward to that. 00:27:18.80\00:27:20.17 Elder Brandon Dent, I cannot thank you enough 00:27:20.20\00:27:23.57 for taking time throughout all of this, planning the services, 00:27:23.61\00:27:28.64 you got a new direction in your life, you and your wife, 00:27:28.68\00:27:31.51 your family, but you took time to come on 00:27:31.55\00:27:33.92 "Dare to Dream," but you're no stranger to "Dare to Dream." 00:27:33.95\00:27:36.08 No, no, I'm not. You know, and we love you, 00:27:36.12\00:27:39.22 we appreciate you and all I can say to you now is... "Press On! 00:27:39.25\00:27:43.02 I'm able to press on and I have to get a shout out to my wife 00:27:43.93\00:27:48.23 because she has done so much, she's done more than half 00:27:48.26\00:27:53.44 of what we needed to do to get through this time... 00:27:53.47\00:27:55.70 And it's been a blessing to me and it's given me 00:27:55.74\00:27:59.27 a little relief and a little opportunity to even be able to 00:27:59.31\00:28:02.58 be on the program with you today. 00:28:02.61\00:28:04.81 I want to thank you, Brandon, and I want to thank 00:28:04.85\00:28:08.08 all of you for joining us on "Live to Be Well" 00:28:08.12\00:28:11.32 God bless... 00:28:11.35\00:28:12.69