Hi, I'm Dr Kim and
welcome to "Live to be Well."
00:00:35.36\00:00:39.63
It's not always easy starting
over, but my guest today
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has a wonderful journey in how
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God has brought his
life complete and I would
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like for you to meet him.
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Welcome Elder
Clarence Martin. Thank you
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Thank you for being
on "Live to be Well,"
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how are you? I'm doing great!
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Ohh, you look
great. I'm doing great.
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Well listen, let's talk
about how God led your life
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here to America - can we
go back to your childhood?
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Yeah... Many, many years
ago when I finished high school,
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I had a cousin who
taught at Hampton University,
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and so he encouraged me to
attend Hampton University...
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And so I went there
and graduated with a
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bachelor's degree in
chemistry and math. Wow!
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And from there, I
went to graduate school
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at the University of
Delaware and did a master's in
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mechanical
engineering. Is that right?
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And I was going further,
but I was married. Okay...
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So I said, "What's
important, me getting a PhD
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or taking care of my kids?" Hmm
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And so I decided not to pursue
a doctorate at that point,
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but go to work and
take care of my kids,
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and I had other
issues to deal with.
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How many children?
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I have two sons.
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Okay and what are
their professions now?
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The first one, he's an engineer
and he has his own business.
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He's an automotive
supplier in Michigan. All right.
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And my second son is a pediatric
surgeon in Birmingham, Alabama.
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Okay...So they
followed the path of academia.
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Oh, they couldn't do any less,
I would hold them accountable.
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You would hold them accountable.
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Well during this time,
how long were you married
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in your first marriage?
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I was married for 29 years.
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Twenty-nine years
and what happened?
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Well, around 28 years of
marriage, she was in New York
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visiting her family and
she called and said that
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she wasn't feeling well. Yes...
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I said, "OH, you probably
have the flu - when you get
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back home, we'll
go to the doctor."
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So she got back home
and we went to the doctor,
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and he did all kinds
of tests and they kept her
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in the hospital.
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And I said, "Why aren't
they giving you some medicine?"
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She said, Hmm,
I'm not quite sure."
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And they released her
and then she later told me...
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She didn't want me to
know all the details yet.
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She said, "The doctor felt that
she had some sort of cancer."
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And that progressed for a
year and she continued to work.
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She did? Yes.
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What was your first wife's name?
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Her name was
"Cleopatra." Cleopatra!
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Cleopatra - everyone
called her "Cleo." Okay
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And she was a great,
great Christian woman.
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The woman that you
marry when you're young;
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the woman who
bears your children;
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the woman who made
sacrifices for you;
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you just can't
forget that. Um hm...
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And so, we had a
great, great marriage. Um hm
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We probably would
have been married today
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if she was still alive and
that would have been 47 years.
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Is that right? Yeah
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So she progressed...
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She progressed and
she died within a year.
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Well they did
all kinds of tests.
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They could not find
the tumor and they said,
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"In about 5% of the cases that
they really can't find the tumor
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but it manifested
itself in her lungs." Really?
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So her lungs would fill
with fluid and we would take her
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to the hospital and
they would withdraw the fluid
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from her lungs and she would
feel better. Yes, yes, yes.
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And the doctor said to me
one day, "Clarence, if the fluid
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ever gets into her
second lung, I can tell you
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the end is near. Really?
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The fluid went to
her second lung too.
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And, from that
time till her death,
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it was probably
about two months.
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Two months. How old was she?
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She was 52. So young, so young.
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How old were your children
at the time, do you remember?
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Well, my older would
have been 24. Okay, all right.
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And the younger had just
finished going to graduate
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school, so he
would have been 22.
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Twenty-two, all right.
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So you went through that
entire process with your wife
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by her side. Yes.
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But something
happened, your life took a turn.
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You started
over... Tell us about that.
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Well, she died and it
was interesting that people
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were looking at me to
see whether I would express
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deep sorrow - the
sorrow was in my heart. Yes
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I never expressed - maybe it's
a man-thing, never expressed,
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never cried.
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My youngest son cried at
the funeral - a little bit,
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but my son, who is
now a doctor, he didn't.
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He did not.
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And, it was sort of strange...
I said, how can I reach out
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to my sons?
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But who is going
to reach out to me?
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But because my youngest
son was in medical school,
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I wanted to keep
him balanced. Yes
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Because since he was 4,
he wanted to be a doctor.
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He wanted to be a doctor.
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I said, I would give
up everything to make sure
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that he fulfills his dream. Yes
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So we went through the
process and he graduated.
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You know lots - many
black or many people period
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can't get into
medical school. Right
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He was accepted into
three medical schools.
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Three! Oh, that's amazing.
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I remember when I used to
take him to the interviews...
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He said, "Dad, you
always taking me around when I
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go to college."
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But what I was doing, I
was actually interviewing him.
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That's right, that's right.
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Interviewing him and to
make sure that he is ready
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for the interview. Yes, yes.
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And so that
worked out pretty good.
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So my wife died
and it's interesting,
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I didn't cry in public and
the world is going to know now
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what really
happened to me. Okay...
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I would drive to work
and on my way to work,
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I would come down on
South..., you know where
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South... is. Yes
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About midway, I would
just start crying in my car.
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The windows were up and just
5 minutes before I go to work,
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dry my tears - go to
work, no one would know
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that I was crying. Never knew...
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On the way home, same
thing and this happened
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day after day, after day.
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So I talked to a gentleman,
I said, "You lost your wife,
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this is what's
happening to me." Yes
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He said, "Clarence, the
same thing happened to me."
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Men hurt. Yes they do.
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And I've talked to you
when your husband died,
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you know, people love you
or express their love to you
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when there is a funeral.
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When do you really need love?
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AFTER the funeral. AFTER...
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So, you need to be
reached out to. Yes.
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AFTER the funeral.
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And a friend of mine,
from, Delaware, he wrote
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me a long letter... Um hm
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Just expressing his thoughts
and that was so important
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to make sure that he
stayed connected. Yes
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God was preparing me
for another reason. YES
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Because He allowed
me to minister to people
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who have lost their spouses. Yes
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Men who have lost
their spouses. Yes.
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And it was very important
for me and one guy said,
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"You know, when you talk to
me, I know how you felt." Yes.
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"I can believe you."
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And so I've
reached out to people.
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So it's become a ministry?
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Yes, it's a ministry for me.
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THAT is a ministry
and young people. Yes
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You LOVE young people.
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Yes, maybe because I want to
be young. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
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But I love to be around
young people and, as you know,
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I've been retired
7 years. Seven years.
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And I decided that I'm not going
to stay home and watch T.V.
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I'm going to get involved!
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So basically, what
I've done, I volunteered
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at Peterson-Warren Academy
for 7 years and I told them,
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"I'm going to volunteer, I
don't want one penny from you.
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I drive 20 miles
each way to work..."
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I don't want anything to be...
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No, nothing, no
compensation. No compensation!
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I'm doing it
because God loves me.
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He wants me to give back
because I'm so concerned about
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our young, black brothers. Yes
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Some of them come from
homes who don't have a father,
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and they're
looking for guidance. Yes
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They're looking for love.
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And, I've extended myself
to so many... Yes, you have.
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In fact I said, "Man,
I'm gonna become bankrupt."
00:10:03.43\00:10:07.27
Laughter...
Helping all these children.
00:10:07.30\00:10:09.90
Because they always
said, "Mr. Martin, Mr. Martin,
00:10:09.94\00:10:12.91
I need this, I need
this." I said, "Okay."
00:10:12.94\00:10:15.38
And you did it.
00:10:15.41\00:10:16.75
Let me ask you,
"How did you transition
00:10:16.78\00:10:19.35
from death to
meeting your second wife?"
00:10:19.38\00:10:22.55
That was interesting, in
fact, let me just go back...
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My wife died the day
after Thanksgiving in 1999. Wow
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The last thing she
did for the family was to
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balance the checkbook.
00:10:38.23\00:10:40.14
She actually
balanced the checkbook the
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night before she
died and the next morning,
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about 6 o'clock, she was dead.
00:10:45.21\00:10:47.84
So that was the
day after Thanksgiving,
00:10:47.88\00:10:49.74
and her funeral was December 1.
00:10:49.78\00:10:53.88
About 5 years later, no 5 days
later, the telephone rang...
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I was still at home,
really hurting, and it was
00:11:00.39\00:11:04.69
my second wife on the line.
00:11:04.73\00:11:07.76
That was interesting, I said,
"Lord, why would this woman
00:11:07.80\00:11:13.03
call me at my
weakest point?" Um hm
00:11:13.07\00:11:16.91
It was 6 days
after my wife was buried.
00:11:16.94\00:11:22.24
And I just sort of
laughed, I had no idea
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what was going to happen.
00:11:27.12\00:11:29.08
And we started talking and
we finally reached the point
00:11:29.12\00:11:33.72
where I told her, "I'm
not going to marry anyone."
00:11:33.76\00:11:37.26
You told her
that? Yes, for 3 years.
00:11:37.29\00:11:39.73
Three years - you told her that?
00:11:39.76\00:11:42.00
I'm not going to
marry. I loved my wife.
00:11:42.03\00:11:44.33
I have children, I was
there to support my children.
00:11:44.37\00:11:49.24
And until they felt
a little comfortable
00:11:49.27\00:11:52.74
that I would move
in that direction.
00:11:52.77\00:11:54.68
If my children
never felt comfortable,
00:11:54.71\00:11:57.05
I probably would have never
00:11:57.08\00:11:58.45
moved in that
direction. Is that right?
00:11:58.48\00:11:59.91
And if they were young, it
would have never happened. Okay
00:11:59.95\00:12:01.98
Because once you have children,
that's the most important
00:12:02.52\00:12:06.89
part of your life. Yes it is.
00:12:06.92\00:12:08.42
... To care of your
children. That's right!
00:12:08.46\00:12:10.06
Anyway after a
time it developed,
00:12:10.09\00:12:12.26
and we got
married 3 years later.
00:12:12.29\00:12:14.13
So she taught in New York
City, and I was living out here
00:12:14.16\00:12:18.83
still working, so
she retired early.
00:12:18.87\00:12:23.57
So I moved to Michigan and I
said, "Are you going to work?"
00:12:23.61\00:12:26.81
And she said, "Not
really." Because she was
00:12:26.84\00:12:31.71
a special
education teacher. All right
00:12:31.75\00:12:33.88
And I guess you get
burned out very quickly.
00:12:33.92\00:12:36.65
So she never went back.
00:12:36.89\00:12:38.25
She never went
back. That's right.
00:12:38.29\00:12:39.62
You knew your wife in
your home in elementary,
00:12:39.65\00:12:44.53
middle school, high school?
00:12:44.56\00:12:45.89
You knew her from
where? Where are you from?
00:12:45.93\00:12:48.03
We are from Antigua and we were
00:12:48.06\00:12:50.10
in kindergarten
and church together.
00:12:50.13\00:12:52.90
And the interesting part of
it is that I liked my wife in
00:12:52.93\00:12:56.71
high school...never told her.
00:12:56.74\00:12:58.77
You liked her...
had a crush on her.
00:12:58.81\00:13:01.01
Yes! Okay... laughter
00:13:01.04\00:13:03.31
Never told her and
so I went to one college
00:13:03.35\00:13:07.88
and she went to another college.
00:13:07.92\00:13:09.25
She went to Andrews...
went to Caribbean Union
00:13:09.28\00:13:13.19
College in Trinidad
and then to Andrews,
00:13:13.22\00:13:15.92
and she stayed until she
got her master's at Andrews,
00:13:15.96\00:13:20.10
and I went to a
different college and that's how
00:13:20.13\00:13:23.87
we got back together.
00:13:23.90\00:13:25.77
So tell me about your
relationship starting over...
00:13:25.80\00:13:29.40
How long, you know you waited
3 years. I waited 3 years.
00:13:29.44\00:13:32.61
Three years, did you get
criticism from your family
00:13:33.24\00:13:36.64
or were they supportive
that you were dating and now
00:13:36.68\00:13:40.08
marrying and how
did your sons feel?
00:13:40.12\00:13:42.45
My youngest son, I
think he was more accepting.
00:13:42.48\00:13:51.06
My oldest son was
very close to his mom,
00:13:51.09\00:13:54.06
so it took him a while. Yes
00:13:54.10\00:13:56.60
And about a year
later, he said, "You know,"
00:13:56.63\00:14:00.50
to my current wife, he
said, "You're a good mom." Ohh
00:14:00.54\00:14:03.07
Especially when we had
our first grandchild. Yes
00:14:03.10\00:14:05.81
Because my wife is probably
the greatest grandmother
00:14:05.84\00:14:09.04
that you could ever have. Yes
00:14:09.08\00:14:11.35
So she's a good grandmother
to our grandchildren,
00:14:11.38\00:14:14.62
and I have six grandchildren.
Six grandchildren! Yes, yes.
00:14:14.65\00:14:18.45
You are an elder in the "City
Temple Seventh-day Adventist
00:14:18.49\00:14:21.59
Church." Yes
00:14:21.62\00:14:22.96
You play the organ,
I mean, I did not know
00:14:22.99\00:14:26.96
you played the
organ and beautifully!
00:14:27.00\00:14:29.70
I been playing
since I was a teenager.
00:14:29.73\00:14:31.60
That just really...
But I don't do it anymore.
00:14:31.63\00:14:34.90
You don't do it
anymore. Not really.
00:14:34.94\00:14:36.34
Not really...
And then you're very
00:14:36.37\00:14:39.04
involved with your
grandchildren - Oh yes -
00:14:39.07\00:14:41.34
and you and Katie,
you travel a lot... Yes
00:14:41.38\00:14:43.58
and you enjoy
your life with her.
00:14:43.65\00:14:45.48
Now, how does God play a role
in your marriage with Katie?
00:14:45.51\00:14:49.48
Because it's more than just
being Seventh-day Adventist.
00:14:49.52\00:14:53.46
It's a relationship.
00:14:53.49\00:14:54.82
We support each other
in our Christian life...
00:14:57.23\00:15:00.16
like this morning - we
always start our morning with
00:15:00.20\00:15:03.97
devotion. You
always start with devotion.
00:15:04.00\00:15:06.23
Devotion... and most men
probably don't understand it,
00:15:06.27\00:15:09.94
but she has a women's ministry,
a women's daily reading. Yes
00:15:09.97\00:15:14.51
And she reads
it to me every day.
00:15:14.54\00:15:16.18
In fact, it should not be called
"Women's Ministry" at all.
00:15:16.21\00:15:18.61
It should be
"Christian Ministry,"
00:15:18.65\00:15:20.82
and then we do our
Sabbath School Lesson.
00:15:20.85\00:15:22.38
Sabbath School Lesson.
00:15:22.42\00:15:23.75
And so she asks me questions
and I ask her questions.
00:15:23.79\00:15:28.39
And I assist one of the
elders in mid-day pray meeting
00:15:28.42\00:15:33.56
on Wednesday and that was good.
00:15:33.60\00:15:36.70
I know you have, over the
years, encouraged Arthur and I
00:15:36.73\00:15:42.47
on "Dare to Dream,"
Friday night you'll be
00:15:42.50\00:15:45.14
watching "Dare to Dream,"
and on Sabbath you would say
00:15:45.17\00:15:48.54
"I was watching you
all on "Dare to Dream."
00:15:48.58\00:15:50.88
I watch you quite a bit
and all the people that you
00:15:50.91\00:15:54.02
interview and I did learn a lot.
00:15:54.05\00:16:00.49
I spend more... "Dare to
Dream" is my favorite network.
00:16:00.52\00:16:04.46
Praise God! Favorite
network! WHY is that?
00:16:04.49\00:16:06.93
Well, it builds my Christian
relationship, it really does.
00:16:07.00\00:16:14.54
To see other people who
have had struggles and who still
00:16:14.57\00:16:22.11
hold on to the Lord. Yes
00:16:22.14\00:16:24.15
And it's a good network.
00:16:24.18\00:16:27.55
And now they
will hear your story
00:16:27.58\00:16:29.38
and hold on to
the Lord. Yes, yes.
00:16:29.42\00:16:32.25
Let me ask you...
You cook, you clean...
00:16:32.29\00:16:36.52
You're one of those,
you know, Renaissance Man?
00:16:36.56\00:16:39.13
Do you do all of that? You know?
00:16:39.16\00:16:41.06
Well my wife just came
back from Alaska last night. Yes
00:16:41.10\00:16:44.27
And I told her when
she leaves for vacation,
00:16:44.30\00:16:46.87
don't leave any
food in the refrigerator
00:16:46.90\00:16:48.80
because I'm not
going to eat it. Oh!
00:16:48.84\00:16:50.34
Well, you don't do
leftovers or you just do what?
00:16:50.37\00:16:52.81
Not particularly.
00:16:52.84\00:16:54.18
you go out to
eat? I go out to eat!
00:16:54.21\00:16:55.54
Oh, okay - she was gone a
week, you went out every day?
00:16:55.74\00:16:58.08
I went out every
day. Oh my goodness!
00:16:58.11\00:17:00.12
Dishwasher was never turned on.
00:17:00.15\00:17:01.62
The sink probably very little.
00:17:01.65\00:17:03.69
I may eat dry cereal
in the morning. Alright.
00:17:03.72\00:17:05.92
But that's it and I can cook.
00:17:05.95\00:17:07.89
I'm not a vegan
yet, but I'm close.
00:17:07.92\00:17:10.96
I do like salmon.
Okay, you like salmon.
00:17:10.99\00:17:13.03
And I make a very
good salmon! Alright, okay.
00:17:13.06\00:17:16.36
And I do work around the house.
00:17:16.40\00:17:20.70
Alright, now what
do you do for hobbies?
00:17:20.74\00:17:22.60
Do you play golf, racquetball,
swim, what do you do for you?
00:17:22.64\00:17:25.87
I used to play golf a
lot until my first wife died.
00:17:25.91\00:17:32.68
That spirit of
playing golf died within me.
00:17:32.71\00:17:36.05
Why do you think that was?
00:17:36.08\00:17:37.45
I have no idea and I finally
gave away my golf set. Really?
00:17:37.49\00:17:42.62
She encouraged
me to play golf. Yes
00:17:42.66\00:17:46.16
And I gave away my golf
set and I go to the gym.
00:17:46.19\00:17:50.47
In fact, today I'll be
going to the gym. Right
00:17:50.50\00:17:52.30
I used to see you at the gym!
00:17:52.33\00:17:53.70
Yes, we go to the same gym and
I minister to people at the gym.
00:17:53.74\00:17:57.04
People minister to
me. That's beautiful!
00:17:57.07\00:17:59.54
So let me ask you, Elder
Martin, you know, siblings...
00:17:59.57\00:18:01.84
you come from a big
family, how many siblings?
00:18:01.88\00:18:04.15
As I say, my father
was very productive.
00:18:04.18\00:18:08.02
He had 12
children. Twelve children!
00:18:08.05\00:18:11.25
Eight boys, 4 girls and 2
of my siblings are deceased,
00:18:11.29\00:18:15.86
2 sisters. Two sisters.
00:18:15.89\00:18:17.36
So we are down 10.
00:18:17.39\00:18:19.89
And you and your brothers,
you have a little gathering
00:18:19.93\00:18:23.60
that you get to get together,
are you still doing that?
00:18:23.63\00:18:25.23
No. Oh okay, you used to
00:18:25.27\00:18:26.60
do that every Friday evening.
00:18:26.63\00:18:27.97
I used to cook with
them every Friday evening,
00:18:28.20\00:18:30.17
and I make a
very good lentil soup.
00:18:30.21\00:18:32.67
Oh really! I have to try that.
00:18:32.71\00:18:34.88
In fact, I brought
it to church sometimes;
00:18:34.91\00:18:36.48
people have asked
me to do it. Really?
00:18:36.51\00:18:38.58
And... because I'm
becoming more of a vegan,
00:18:38.61\00:18:43.55
but I'm still
struggling with certain things.
00:18:43.59\00:18:45.89
Alright, alright.
00:18:45.92\00:18:47.26
Let's talk about the
importance of your role
00:18:47.29\00:18:51.79
in the life of your sons
and you talked about, you know,
00:18:51.83\00:18:55.26
looking at the climate
of African-American men,
00:18:55.30\00:18:57.70
and they're both
married, they have children,
00:18:57.73\00:19:00.04
and they're doing well.
00:19:00.07\00:19:01.40
But, are your
children walking with the Lord?
00:19:01.44\00:19:06.27
I pray for them every
day, I, I, - - I, I...
00:19:06.31\00:19:13.68
on the surface they are. Yes
00:19:13.72\00:19:17.05
I don't know their hearts. Yes
00:19:17.09\00:19:18.75
But I pray for them every day.
00:19:18.79\00:19:20.76
I call their names
out in prayer every day.
00:19:20.79\00:19:23.12
I call the names of my
grandchildren out in prayer.
00:19:23.16\00:19:26.53
I call all their names.
00:19:26.56\00:19:28.10
You're very close to your sons?
00:19:28.13\00:19:29.63
Yes and they're
very close to me.
00:19:29.66\00:19:32.20
In fact, I've always
wondered if, as I get older,
00:19:32.23\00:19:35.60
if something were to happen
to me, who would take me in?
00:19:35.64\00:19:38.94
Which one? Because
I know both of them.
00:19:38.97\00:19:41.24
Both of them
would. They both would.
00:19:41.28\00:19:42.91
My son in Birmingham, Alabama,
said, "Dad, you ought to move
00:19:42.94\00:19:46.78
down to Birmingham"
00:19:46.82\00:19:48.18
I said, "I don't think so."
00:19:48.22\00:19:50.52
My son has a place,
you know, you've been
00:19:50.55\00:19:52.75
to his house... Yes, yes.
00:19:52.79\00:19:54.59
That is sweet for us. Yes
00:19:54.62\00:19:56.36
I want to stay as independent
as long as I can. I see.
00:19:56.42\00:20:01.90
Most importantly, I want them
to take care of their families.
00:20:01.93\00:20:05.70
That's the best
payback they can give me...
00:20:05.73\00:20:09.20
to take care of your family,
to make sure their children
00:20:09.24\00:20:12.27
attend church and
just do the right thing.
00:20:12.31\00:20:16.14
And do the right thing. Yeah
00:20:16.18\00:20:17.78
You know, do you babysit?
00:20:17.81\00:20:19.15
Oh yes, I love to babysit.
00:20:19.18\00:20:20.88
You love... why do
you love to babysit?
00:20:20.92\00:20:22.38
Because... you know,
this may sound strange to you,
00:20:22.42\00:20:26.35
I've told people that I
may love my grandchildren
00:20:26.39\00:20:29.79
more than my children -
which is not true, but you know,
00:20:29.82\00:20:33.03
I love my
grandchildren, they love me.
00:20:33.06\00:20:35.90
And my wife and I have a will
and my grandchildren's names
00:20:35.93\00:20:43.30
are on the will.
They're on the will.
00:20:43.34\00:20:44.94
I've done
enough for my children.
00:20:44.97\00:20:47.68
Do you have a good relationship
with both sets of grandparents,
00:20:47.71\00:20:50.18
you know; Shannon's parents,
you all get along and engage?
00:20:50.21\00:20:56.15
Yeah we get along, but
it's not... we get along.
00:20:58.25\00:21:02.19
You get along because
you're at the same church. Yes
00:21:02.22\00:21:04.06
We're at the same
church. But do you want a
00:21:04.09\00:21:06.43
a more closer
relationship or are you
00:21:06.49\00:21:08.00
comfortable with the
relationship you have?
00:21:08.03\00:21:09.36
I'm comfortable with
the relationship. Yes
00:21:09.40\00:21:11.30
Let me ask you... How
important is understanding,
00:21:11.33\00:21:15.34
you know, your health,
your finances because I know
00:21:15.37\00:21:18.54
your brothers and I
know the standards that you
00:21:18.57\00:21:22.48
maintain in taking care
of your family, economics,
00:21:22.51\00:21:26.31
always giving to
others, helping others.
00:21:26.35\00:21:29.72
You gave Arthur his last
communion in the hospital.
00:21:29.75\00:21:33.46
Yes. You were there.
00:21:33.49\00:21:34.96
So how important is that
for you in maintaining that
00:21:34.99\00:21:39.06
because when we
look at the church today,
00:21:39.09\00:21:41.43
we don't see those role
models anymore in the church!
00:21:41.46\00:21:45.57
You know, I'm convinced
that God has blessed us
00:21:45.60\00:21:50.44
and we ought to bless others.
00:21:50.47\00:21:52.47
I'm convinced, I would say maybe
35 years ago or 40 years ago,
00:21:52.51\00:21:59.61
I've decided in returning my
tithe that I'm going to give a
00:21:59.65\00:22:05.02
faithful offering - even
if I don't have a lot of money
00:22:05.05\00:22:10.09
left over - God
still takes care of me. Yes
00:22:10.13\00:22:13.70
And when my children
were in church school,
00:22:13.73\00:22:16.16
and they don't realize
how much sacrifice we made...
00:22:16.20\00:22:19.07
We paid our
mortgage, we paid our car note,
00:22:19.10\00:22:21.50
insurance... after that
we didn't have any money,
00:22:21.54\00:22:24.24
but they were never
hungry. They were never hungry.
00:22:24.27\00:22:26.71
They always had food
and they could always invite
00:22:26.74\00:22:28.64
people to our house
for dinner, whatever
00:22:28.68\00:22:31.01
we're going to serve. Yes
00:22:31.05\00:22:32.55
God has allowed me to work,
He has allowed me to retire,
00:22:32.58\00:22:36.99
and I tell my sons...
this is sort of strange...
00:22:37.02\00:22:40.49
I say, "Aren't you
happy your is not working,
00:22:40.52\00:22:43.66
and he doesn't
ask you for anything?"
00:22:43.69\00:22:46.16
My goodness, great God.
00:22:46.19\00:22:47.53
I really don't
want anything from them.
00:22:47.56\00:22:50.60
I tend to want to
give them stuff more than
00:22:50.63\00:22:54.47
take anything from
them and they really
00:22:54.50\00:22:56.24
want to give me stuff.
00:22:56.27\00:22:58.14
Do you spoil your grandchildren?
00:22:58.17\00:22:59.51
Not just material
things, I'm not talking just
00:22:59.54\00:23:02.04
with things, but you know...
00:23:02.08\00:23:03.81
They can get away
with stuff that my children
00:23:03.85\00:23:05.95
couldn't get away
with. Okay, okay, alright.
00:23:05.98\00:23:08.18
You and your wife, you travel...
00:23:08.22\00:23:09.82
where are some of the
places that you've been?
00:23:09.85\00:23:11.19
Oh, she was in
London earlier this year.
00:23:11.22\00:23:15.19
She just came back from Alaska,
00:23:15.22\00:23:18.86
but every year we go on a
cruise, a 10-11 day cruise.
00:23:18.89\00:23:21.90
They faithfully!
00:23:21.93\00:23:23.26
And I love cruises, I love
to be in the ocean. You do.
00:23:23.30\00:23:26.33
And she wanted me to go
to Alaska, but I never felt
00:23:26.37\00:23:30.77
inclined to go to Alaska.
00:23:30.81\00:23:32.31
You sent her by herself?
00:23:32.34\00:23:33.91
But she and my
sister. Right, right, okay.
00:23:33.94\00:23:36.54
But there's a
reason, sometimes we don't
00:23:36.58\00:23:38.78
fully understand God's way.
00:23:38.81\00:23:40.75
A friend of mine had
a heart attack two days
00:23:40.78\00:23:46.15
before they left
for Alaska. Really?
00:23:46.19\00:23:48.46
And I've been
his caregiver. What?
00:23:48.49\00:23:50.83
He's out of the hospital. What?
00:23:50.86\00:23:52.73
In fact, it has worn
me out being a caregiver.
00:23:52.76\00:23:56.33
But God has allowed me to
be a caregiver when my wife
00:23:56.36\00:23:59.23
was sick, so I know
what the procedure is.
00:23:59.27\00:24:01.94
Oh I do too - it's a
lot of responsibility.
00:24:01.97\00:24:04.24
It's a lot of responsibility;
in fact, I had come to you and
00:24:04.27\00:24:07.04
said look, "I'm not
working, go to work, then become
00:24:07.08\00:24:12.08
over and take care of her."
00:24:12.11\00:24:14.02
Yes, many times you
offered and you also was my
00:24:14.05\00:24:17.95
daughter's math teacher. Yes
00:24:17.99\00:24:19.69
You know, again, giving
that time helping, supporting
00:24:19.72\00:24:23.43
the children in
Christian education...
00:24:23.46\00:24:26.36
Seventh-day Adventist Christian
education and I've learned
00:24:26.39\00:24:29.23
there's a difference,
but how is your walk with
00:24:29.26\00:24:34.17
God - you know,
why do you love God?
00:24:34.20\00:24:36.40
Why are you a
Seventh-day Adventist?
00:24:36.44\00:24:38.27
Well, I think we've all
gone through life's struggles.
00:24:38.31\00:24:44.65
I would like to be like
one of my favorite characters
00:24:44.68\00:24:47.88
in the Bible -
Enoch. Is that right?
00:24:47.92\00:24:49.82
It says, "Enoch loved
God," and he was at the point
00:24:49.85\00:24:53.62
where God just took him
to heaven and I'm saying
00:24:53.66\00:24:57.33
to God, if I reach this decision
00:24:57.36\00:24:59.13
are You going to
take me to heaven now?
00:24:59.19\00:25:00.53
I'm just! But I'm convinced
that God has a role to play
00:25:00.56\00:25:06.50
in my life -
heaven is my goal! Yes
00:25:06.53\00:25:09.64
I want to be in
heaven, I look forward to
00:25:09.67\00:25:13.11
reconnecting with my loved ones
who have departed this life.
00:25:13.14\00:25:17.78
And, look forward to
a world where there is
00:25:17.81\00:25:21.08
no more struggle, no more death.
00:25:21.15\00:25:23.22
You watch the news at
night and you get sick
00:25:23.25\00:25:25.79
just watching the news. Yes
00:25:25.82\00:25:27.19
So, I'm looking
for the next life.
00:25:27.22\00:25:29.92
You know, one of my
fears, if I can be transparent,
00:25:29.96\00:25:32.26
you know, because you have gone
00:25:32.29\00:25:33.73
through this - I am
now going through this...
00:25:33.76\00:25:36.46
My fear is to marry again and
have to go through that again.
00:25:36.50\00:25:43.41
I NEVER want to go through that
again, it was just devastating,
00:25:43.44\00:25:47.24
but on the other side,
the companionship, the love,
00:25:47.28\00:25:50.65
you know... help me with that.
00:25:50.68\00:25:52.95
Well I did tell you, don't rush
into anything. That's right.
00:25:52.98\00:25:57.85
Don't rush into anything,
wait a while... for a reason.
00:25:57.89\00:26:02.52
When I got remarried, I
would be driving down the street
00:26:02.56\00:26:07.86
and I would point out
certain things in the road,
00:26:07.90\00:26:11.37
and I was using my first
wife's name - because that was
00:26:11.40\00:26:15.64
registered in my
brain, but my second wife
00:26:15.67\00:26:19.14
didn't really get agitated.
00:26:19.17\00:26:21.44
You can't just walk
away from it. That's right.
00:26:21.48\00:26:24.85
And, I've come to
an understanding where
00:26:24.88\00:26:27.75
I remember my second
wife's name and so we don't
00:26:27.78\00:26:31.52
have this again, but I
would say, wait a while.
00:26:31.55\00:26:35.06
When a marriage works,
it's the best life. Yes
00:26:35.09\00:26:38.73
When it doesn't work, it
is the WORST life. Yes indeed.
00:26:38.76\00:26:41.76
So wait until God opens
that door for the right person
00:26:42.66\00:26:48.40
to enter. That's right.
00:26:48.44\00:26:49.80
Because it's nice...
like my wife was away
00:26:49.84\00:26:52.04
in Alaska and I had a
good sleep last night.
00:26:52.07\00:26:55.01
She came back and just
having someone next to me,
00:26:55.04\00:27:00.82
just made me go to sleep easily.
00:27:00.85\00:27:02.65
It made you go to sleep. Yeah.
00:27:02.68\00:27:04.02
Starting over, it
embodies so much and what you've
00:27:04.05\00:27:09.02
been through and how
the Lord has blessed you.
00:27:09.06\00:27:11.83
I see you at church, I
see you in Sabbath School,
00:27:11.86\00:27:15.46
I see you involved as an
elder, a mentor to Arthur,
00:27:15.50\00:27:20.14
a mentor to Erin and
I... You do give back,
00:27:20.17\00:27:23.57
you love God and it's not
just the talk and I see you back
00:27:23.61\00:27:27.74
in the vestibule of the church
encouraging people. Oh yes.
00:27:27.78\00:27:30.91
You've stopped me many times
and saying, "Kim, how are you?"
00:27:30.95\00:27:33.68
and I really don't know what
to say but "one-day-at-a-time."
00:27:33.72\00:27:36.85
I want you to know what
you mean to me - you and Katie,
00:27:36.89\00:27:40.36
and how much I've enjoyed
just watching your ministry,
00:27:40.39\00:27:44.23
your marriage, your
life together and how God
00:27:44.26\00:27:47.76
gave you opportunity to
start over again because you
00:27:47.80\00:27:51.43
were not done and God
had a purpose for your life.
00:27:51.47\00:27:54.14
I want to thank you for
being on the program today,
00:27:54.17\00:27:57.21
and continue to
"Live to Be Well"
00:27:57.24\00:27:59.94
and may God bless you, Elder
Clarence Martin. Thank you!
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Thank you so much - God
bless you! God bless you.
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