I remember the
first time I visited
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a Seventh-day Adventist Church.
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I didn't come to
listen to the preacher
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or listen to an evangelist.
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To tell you the truth, I
came to create such a ruckus
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that the police
would have to come
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and remove my
girlfriend and a friend of mine
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and I figured that way
they would never ask me
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to come to that church again.
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Stay tuned in, I'll tell
you a little more about it.
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My parents who had been
church-hopping a little bit
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but they weren't
overly religious at that time
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went to a
Seventh-day Adventist Church
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and they went
through a whole set of
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what was called
evangelistic meetings
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at this church
and they were baptized
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into a
Seventh-day Adventist Church.
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Well, my brother and my sister
and I all thought my parents
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are just kind of
really gone crazy
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in order to join this church
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because we heard
that they went to church
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on the wrong day of the
week and they just seemed
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like, I never heard of
Seventh-day Adventist before.
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And it was probably about
three or four months later
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another evangelist came to town
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and I remember I was
playing music with my friends
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we were jamming
and smoking marijuana
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and drinking beer
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and we just got then
playing a set of music
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and we were just
taking a little break
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and a telephone rang and I--
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one of my friends picked
up the phone and he said,
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hey, Jeff, it's your
mom, she wants to talk to you.
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And so I went over and said, hi.
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And she said, hey, how would
like to hear and evangelist?
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I said, what?
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How would you like to come
and hear an evangelistic series?
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I said, what's that?
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And she said, well, it's a guy
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who is preaching
from the Bible you know,
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sharing different things.
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And I said, just a second,
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and I put my hand over the phone
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and I looked at
the keyboard player
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and I said, how
would you like to go
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to an evangelistic meeting?
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How would you like
to go listen to someone
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preaching the Word of God?
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And he said, yeah,
sure that sounds good.
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And I said,
yeah, what time is it?
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And she said, 7 o' clock.
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And so I went and
got my girlfriend,
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got a six pack of beer
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we smoked a couple of
marijuana and cigarettes,
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the keyboard
player and I squirmed over
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to the
Seventh-day Adventist Church
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with my girl in a 1939
Chevy with a Corvette engine,
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big wide tires,
black leather coat,
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long blonde hair
down my shoulders
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and we came into this church.
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And like I said at the
beginning of this presentation
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we didn't come to
listen to the evangelist.
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In fact, what we did
as we came to this church
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to sit up in the
balcony to create such a ruckus
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that we knew that they
would have to call the police
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and physically
remove us from the church
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and you see that
way I thought my parents
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would never ever invite me
to come to this church again.
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And I thought well, that would
take care of this you know,
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and that will settle everything.
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And an
interesting thing happened
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because special music started.
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They dimmed the
lights in the church
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and this lady came
out to start to sing
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and I wasn't into that
kind of music you know,
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but I was a
musician and I was listening
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and it sounded pretty good,
you know and we were listening
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and by the way when we
first got to the church
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we were making a lot of
noise and up in the balcony
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and some of the old
folks were looking up there
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like who are those kids up there
anyhow making all that noise.
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And just never ever forget that
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if this happens in your church
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you never know who those people
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really might end
up being someday.
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We listened and you know
what happened that night?
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The opening night
subject was on spiritualism.
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My mouth dropped open
because of all the things
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that happened
in my younger years
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of my life previous to that
point of coming to the church.
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And so I sit
there and I listened
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how this evangelist had been
raised in a spiritualist home
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and all the things that happened
and I couldn't believe it.
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And so we went
back there second night,
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and you know what
he was talking on?
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He was talking on
rock music and hypnosis.
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And I turned to
the keyboard player
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and I said, hey, this guy knows
more about music than we do
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because we knew what
he was saying was true.
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So, night after night
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we went listening
to this evangelist
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and the Bible
started coming alive.
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All these things that were
inconsistent to me in the path
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that I couldn't put
together the bits and pieces
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started fitting together.
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And after the
evangelistic series was done
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my parents introduced
me to an elderly gentlemen,
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in fact, he introduced
to group of young people
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to an elderly gentlemen,
who was a retired Bible worker.
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And the interesting thing
was about this Bible workers
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was every single time
I'd ask him a question
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from the Bible he'd
never give me his opinion.
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He'd never say, well, I think.
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He said, Jeff,
I want to show you
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what the Bible says,
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and
systematically verse by verse
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he would show
what the Bible says
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and he would allow me to
come to my own conclusion
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of what God's word said.
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And you know that's what
I'd been looking for all along.
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I'd sit in pastor studies
for different denominations
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and I'd ask different questions
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and lot of times the
pastors would close their Bibles
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and they would
say something like,
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well, Jeff, let me
tell you something.
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As soon as they said
that I'm turned them out
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because I didn't care
what a pastor thought.
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I wanted to know what
the Word of God thought.
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And I'll be honest with you,
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through the evangelistic series
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through studying
with the Bible worker
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I learned a lot of doctrines.
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But there is one
thing that I failed to learn
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and that was how to
have a personal relationship
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with Jesus Christ.
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So like many
numbers through evangelism
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I was one of those people
that quit coming to church
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but my girlfriend, she
kind of caught the message
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and together with my
brother and my sister
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they started having
Friday night sundown worships.
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We were both baptized in church
by the way at the second series
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that we went to and
my girlfriend decided
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that she really
wanted to stick with that.
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By the way that girlfriend
is still my wife today
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amazingly enough
after all these years.
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But I'll tell you what happen
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was my conscious was awakened
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but, at the same time I
started running from God.
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It's a terrible thing to have
learned all these bible truths,
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all the dos and
don'ts of Christianity
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but yet not know how to tap
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into the power to do
all those dos and don'ts.
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And my girlfriend,
she moved to Alaska
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and I followed her to Alaska.
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And up in Alaska we
were smoking marijuana
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and we were running from God
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and dealing with some
personal issues up there
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and feeling really guilty
because we knew what was right
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and she was trying
to do what was right
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and I was kind of
pulling her the wrong direction
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because I wasn't
making any commitment to God
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and I met this guy
that was a guitar player
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and one Saturday
afternoon, Sabbath afternoon
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we went out to this park
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and this just shows
you how God sometimes work,
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He works in just amazing ways.
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But we went to this park
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and there was this
kind of like geodesic dome
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where you could sit
and play your guitars
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and it had a really
nice acoustics to it.
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And we were jamming
away on our acoustic guitars,
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playing a bunch of
rock music and folk music
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and this guy walked
up with a guitar case
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and he had Jesus Saves stickers
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all over the
outside of his guitar case
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and I was looking at my friend
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and I like, oh,
no, who's this guy?
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And he said, hey, man,
can I jam with you guys?
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And we said, sure.
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And he said, do you
know any Christian songs?
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I said, no, we're not
playing Christian songs here.
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And he said, hey,
have you two been saved?
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And I said to him,
yeah, I've been saved once
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but I am not
practicing right now.
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He said, you've been saved,
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you are not
practicing right now?
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And he got this close to my face
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and he said, repent
brother, you need to repent.
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I said, who are you
to tell me to repent?
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He said, the Word of God
tells me to tell you to repent,
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you've back
slipped, you need to repent.
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And I started
shaking and I thought,
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you know, 'cause
I knew down inside
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this gentleman was
telling me what was right.
00:07:08.88\00:07:11.77
And so we left Alaska,
we went back to other town,
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we lived in at that time
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and we decided to move
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to another little
town out in the country
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to try to get
away from our friends
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and our influences.
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My wife and I, my
girlfriend and I got married
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and I was working at a job there
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and every Wednesday night
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Christy, my wife would go
to the local Adventist church
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and she would pray
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with an elderly
little group of women
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there at prayer
meeting on Wednesday night,
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oh, please
convert Christy's husband,
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help Jeff to come to the truth
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and help him to
come back to the church.
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And we never know
the power of prayer,
00:07:47.75\00:07:50.09
how that really
can affect a person
00:07:50.12\00:07:51.87
and how that really
end up being an instrument
00:07:51.90\00:07:54.93
in leading a person back to God
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because at that time
I was really starting
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to become more
and more convicted.
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And as I share this with you,
00:08:01.64\00:08:03.43
it's a little bit
sensitive because it's a--
00:08:03.46\00:08:07.71
its one thing to go to church
00:08:07.74\00:08:10.05
it's another
thing to be a Christian.
00:08:10.08\00:08:11.60
It's one thing to be
involved in churchianity,
00:08:11.63\00:08:13.92
it's another thing
to become a Christian.
00:08:13.95\00:08:15.29
People ask me, well, how
long have you been an Adventist?
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I say, well, I was an Adventist,
baptized Adventist in 1976,
00:08:17.20\00:08:21.40
and then I hesitate and I say,
00:08:21.43\00:08:22.51
but I become a
Christian in 1981.
00:08:22.54\00:08:25.34
And they look at me
and a little bit startled
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by that but a lot of people
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professed to
belong to some church
00:08:28.94\00:08:30.52
but they really
haven't experienced
00:08:30.55\00:08:31.96
the conversion
experience in Christ.
00:08:31.99\00:08:34.00
And that's exactly
what happened to me,
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I didn't have an experience,
00:08:35.86\00:08:37.14
a Christian
experience with Christ
00:08:37.17\00:08:39.08
but I knew all
these different doctrines,
00:08:39.11\00:08:40.60
I knew all
these different things
00:08:40.63\00:08:42.37
but at the same time I
started going to church.
00:08:42.40\00:08:45.50
You know, I guess you can say,
00:08:45.53\00:08:47.01
praise God,
started going to church,
00:08:47.04\00:08:49.08
started advancing in truth,
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started reading
a lot of the books,
00:08:50.77\00:08:52.21
started studying my
Bible and trying to do
00:08:52.24\00:08:54.55
all the different things
you should do as a Christian.
00:08:54.58\00:08:57.17
You see, I had
entered into a phase
00:08:57.20\00:08:59.54
and maybe you can relate
to this and maybe you can't,
00:08:59.57\00:09:01.82
becoming a schizophrenic
Seventh-day Adventist.
00:09:01.85\00:09:04.77
Maybe you've never heard
00:09:04.80\00:09:05.90
of a schizophrenic
Seventh-day Adventist
00:09:05.93\00:09:07.66
or a schizophrenic Christian.
00:09:07.69\00:09:09.41
That's a person who basically
00:09:09.44\00:09:11.00
has like a split
religious personality.
00:09:11.03\00:09:14.01
You know you
have a double standard
00:09:14.04\00:09:15.18
when you are with
one group of people,
00:09:15.21\00:09:16.87
you do one thing,
00:09:16.90\00:09:17.99
with your
different group of people
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you do different thing.
00:09:19.12\00:09:20.15
When I got with my old friends
I would do what they were doing
00:09:20.18\00:09:22.76
and then when I got
with the church people
00:09:22.79\00:09:24.06
I looked really
good and I had my tie on
00:09:24.09\00:09:26.32
and had my haircut short
now and was attending church.
00:09:26.35\00:09:29.88
In fact, you know what,
00:09:29.91\00:09:31.30
I started even reading
out in Sabbath school class
00:09:31.33\00:09:34.23
and I started holding different
positions in the church.
00:09:34.26\00:09:36.37
It's just the young person,
00:09:36.40\00:09:37.45
I was involved
with the youth group
00:09:37.48\00:09:39.07
in our local church
00:09:39.10\00:09:40.52
and the same time I was
still smoking marijuana,
00:09:40.55\00:09:44.18
still drinking from time
to time and doing these things
00:09:44.21\00:09:46.76
but I kept those
things quiet and secret
00:09:46.79\00:09:48.98
and I never let
the church people know
00:09:49.01\00:09:50.32
or the pastor know that I
was doing all those things
00:09:50.35\00:09:51.94
because that's taboo, you
are not suppose to do that.
00:09:51.97\00:09:54.92
And so I was like
this schizophrenic person,
00:09:54.95\00:09:56.87
at one hand you know,
00:09:56.90\00:09:58.14
I am going to
church and looking good
00:09:58.17\00:09:59.52
and everybody thought,
oh, isn't it wonderful,
00:09:59.55\00:10:00.86
Jeff is coming to
church and on the other hand
00:10:00.89\00:10:02.65
when I got with my other friend
00:10:02.68\00:10:03.99
I was doing the
things that they were doing.
00:10:04.02\00:10:05.99
And of course then I had
to start really being careful
00:10:06.02\00:10:08.55
about the bad
things that I was doing.
00:10:08.58\00:10:10.14
In fact, I got to a point
00:10:10.17\00:10:11.50
where I was so good
at doing those bad things
00:10:11.53\00:10:13.22
that I put
toothpaste in my mouth,
00:10:13.25\00:10:14.58
my wife never even knew
00:10:14.61\00:10:15.80
that I was still
smoking marijuana
00:10:15.83\00:10:17.60
and doing some of
these other things
00:10:17.63\00:10:19.87
that I shouldn't be doing.
00:10:19.90\00:10:20.93
And during this
whole period of time
00:10:20.96\00:10:22.98
I was dealing
with a lot of guilt.
00:10:23.01\00:10:25.96
You see its one
thing to know what is right
00:10:25.99\00:10:28.13
but still end up
doing the wrong thing.
00:10:28.16\00:10:31.07
And I continued reading my Bible
00:10:31.10\00:10:32.42
and the more I read my Bible
the more I read other books
00:10:32.45\00:10:35.03
that are
published by the church,
00:10:35.06\00:10:36.16
I started feeling
more and more guilty
00:10:36.19\00:10:37.69
and more and more condemned
00:10:37.72\00:10:39.19
but the same time
I had head knowledge,
00:10:39.22\00:10:40.81
I could give you
all the different
00:10:40.84\00:10:42.22
27 fundamental believes,
00:10:42.25\00:10:43.58
I could take you
through a Bible study,
00:10:43.61\00:10:45.47
I can tell you
about the 12 seals
00:10:45.50\00:10:48.73
in the Book of Revelation
00:10:48.76\00:10:50.63
or the seven seals in
the Book of Revelation
00:10:50.66\00:10:52.25
or state of the dead or any
of the other Bible doctrines.
00:10:52.28\00:10:56.79
And I remember reading one
time in the Book of Romans.
00:10:56.82\00:11:00.16
In fact, I'd like to
just share that with you.
00:11:00.19\00:11:02.26
In the Book of
Romans in Chapter 7,
00:11:02.29\00:11:04.59
I read a statement
that just really hit me
00:11:04.62\00:11:07.80
and actually
this is the statement
00:11:07.83\00:11:09.78
that I started to read
00:11:09.81\00:11:10.90
at the very
beginning of this introduction,
00:11:10.93\00:11:12.48
it says, "For that
which I do I allow not,
00:11:12.51\00:11:17.11
for what I would, that do I
not but what I hate, that do I."
00:11:17.14\00:11:23.26
And I thought to myself,
00:11:23.29\00:11:24.32
you know, when I read this
during this time in my life,
00:11:24.35\00:11:26.15
it's exactly me.
00:11:26.18\00:11:27.47
You know, here I am,
00:11:27.50\00:11:28.60
that which I know
I shouldn't be doing
00:11:28.63\00:11:29.90
I'm doing and the things
that I know I should be doing
00:11:29.93\00:11:32.24
I'm not doing
00:11:32.27\00:11:33.33
and I found
myself in this dilemma
00:11:33.36\00:11:36.09
doing the very
things that I hate.
00:11:36.12\00:11:37.45
And Paul goes on and says,
00:11:37.48\00:11:39.05
"If then I do
that which I would not,
00:11:39.08\00:11:42.11
I consent to the
law that it is good."
00:11:42.14\00:11:43.83
In other words,
the law condemns us
00:11:43.86\00:11:45.64
when we do
things that are wrong,
00:11:45.67\00:11:47.09
I consent to the
law that those things
00:11:47.12\00:11:49.24
that I'm doing are not good.
00:11:49.27\00:11:51.18
And Paul goes on
in verse 17 and say,
00:11:51.21\00:11:53.30
"Now then it is
no more I that do it,
00:11:53.33\00:11:55.53
but sin that dwelleth in me."
00:11:55.56\00:11:56.81
And I thought to
myself, yep, that's true.
00:11:56.84\00:11:58.95
"For I know that in
me, that is, in my flesh,
00:11:58.98\00:12:00.93
dwelleth no good thing,
for to will is present with me
00:12:00.96\00:12:04.99
but how to perform that
which is good I find not."
00:12:05.02\00:12:08.92
You know, so many
Christians are struggling
00:12:08.95\00:12:10.43
with this very
point in their life,
00:12:10.46\00:12:12.37
they know what
they should be doing
00:12:12.40\00:12:14.00
but they don't have the power
to be able to really do things
00:12:14.03\00:12:16.84
that they know
they should be doing
00:12:16.87\00:12:18.43
and so they
pretend to be Christians,
00:12:18.46\00:12:20.19
they are
involved in churchianity,
00:12:20.22\00:12:21.58
they go to
church week after week
00:12:21.61\00:12:23.45
and they pretend
to be Christians.
00:12:23.48\00:12:25.22
And inside they want to
have power to be overcome--
00:12:25.25\00:12:27.61
to be able to
overcome in their life
00:12:27.64\00:12:28.94
but they don't
know how to overcome it.
00:12:28.97\00:12:30.98
They know all these
different dos and don'ts,
00:12:31.01\00:12:32.85
they know
different doctrinal subjects
00:12:32.88\00:12:35.26
but yet they don't know
00:12:35.29\00:12:36.32
how to have an
experience with Christ
00:12:36.35\00:12:38.10
to overcome the sinful
nature of that they have.
00:12:38.13\00:12:41.97
And Paul goes on to say,
"Now if I do that I would not,
00:12:42.00\00:12:46.79
it is no more I that do it,
but sin that dwelleth in me.
00:12:46.82\00:12:50.09
I find then a law,
that, when I would do good,
00:12:50.12\00:12:53.67
evil is present with me.
00:12:53.70\00:12:55.24
For I delight in the law
of God after the inward man."
00:12:55.27\00:12:57.63
And I could say even that.
00:12:57.66\00:12:58.92
I wanted to be a Christian,
00:12:58.95\00:12:59.98
I delighted in the
law, I thought it was right,
00:13:00.01\00:13:01.65
it was holy, just and great thus
I should be doing God's law.
00:13:01.68\00:13:04.85
"But I see
another law in my members,
00:13:04.88\00:13:06.91
warring against
the law of my mind,
00:13:06.94\00:13:09.15
bringing me into
captivity to the law of sin
00:13:09.18\00:13:11.33
which is in my members."
00:13:11.36\00:13:12.98
Brother and sisters,
this is the battle of the mind
00:13:13.01\00:13:14.97
and this where a lot of
us are, we're struggling,
00:13:15.00\00:13:17.02
we're trying to
overcome our fleshly tendencies.
00:13:17.05\00:13:19.84
We're struggling with
different things in our lives
00:13:19.87\00:13:21.41
so we don't know how to overcome
00:13:21.44\00:13:23.02
and we have this battle going on
between the flesh and the spirit
00:13:23.05\00:13:26.55
and trying to
live up to the light
00:13:26.58\00:13:28.59
that God has given us.
00:13:28.62\00:13:29.97
And then finally Paul cries
out, "O wretched man that I am!
00:13:30.00\00:13:33.05
Who shall deliver me
from this body of death?"
00:13:33.08\00:13:36.08
I was fighting,
you know, this fight,
00:13:36.11\00:13:38.62
I was mentally trying to
justify sin to deal with guilt
00:13:38.65\00:13:42.43
and at the same
time I wasn't dealing
00:13:42.46\00:13:43.67
with the root of the problem
and dealing with the sin itself
00:13:43.70\00:13:46.54
and it became a vicious circle.
00:13:46.57\00:13:49.09
A circumstance
happened in my home one day
00:13:49.12\00:13:52.99
and during this time my wife
had just came into the house
00:13:53.02\00:13:59.15
and I do these
different crazy things,
00:13:59.18\00:14:03.94
you know, I would
go down to my shop,
00:14:03.97\00:14:06.32
I was running a
repair shop at that time
00:14:06.35\00:14:08.27
where I was restoring
antique and classic cars
00:14:08.30\00:14:10.56
and I would smoke some marijuana
00:14:10.59\00:14:13.22
I go up to the
house and see my wife
00:14:13.25\00:14:14.69
and I try to hide
it and not let her know
00:14:14.72\00:14:16.63
that I'd been doing that.
00:14:16.66\00:14:18.06
And I would-- sometimes
I would go down to my shop
00:14:18.09\00:14:21.06
and I would take out
this bag of marijuana
00:14:21.09\00:14:22.72
and I'd smoke some and
then I would feel so guilty
00:14:22.75\00:14:24.58
because I wanted
to be a Christian.
00:14:24.61\00:14:26.58
And so then I would
take this bag of marijuana,
00:14:26.61\00:14:28.47
I take my pipe
and I'd open my shop
00:14:28.50\00:14:30.21
and we lived out
in this farmland area
00:14:30.24\00:14:31.79
where had this shop
at and I would take it
00:14:31.82\00:14:33.94
and I would throw
it out into the felid
00:14:33.97\00:14:35.25
as far as I could and
I would get on my knees
00:14:35.28\00:14:37.31
and I say, "Lord, I am
not going to do this anymore."
00:14:37.34\00:14:42.18
You know, that night I would
go to bed and think of myself,
00:14:42.21\00:14:44.63
I am going to be a
Christian now, I really am.
00:14:44.66\00:14:46.75
And the next day I go
to shop and I start working
00:14:46.78\00:14:48.67
and I start thinking to myself,
00:14:48.70\00:14:50.44
wow, it should be nice
to smoke a little marijuana.
00:14:50.47\00:14:52.74
And so I'd be out
there in the grass out
00:14:52.77\00:14:54.41
in the field looking around
00:14:54.44\00:14:55.47
and I would find
my bag and my pipe
00:14:55.50\00:14:57.67
and I go back into my
shop and smoke some more
00:14:57.70\00:15:00.01
and then I feel really
guilty that I done it again.
00:15:00.04\00:15:02.17
And I take the bag and I
would throw it out in the field
00:15:02.20\00:15:04.14
and get on my
knees and I would pray,
00:15:04.17\00:15:05.76
"Lord, please help me
not to do this anymore.
00:15:05.79\00:15:07.83
I really wanted
to be a Christian."
00:15:07.86\00:15:09.70
And day after day I would
keep doing this same thing,
00:15:09.73\00:15:13.24
in fact, I got
where I was really good
00:15:13.27\00:15:14.65
at just taking
the bag of marijuana
00:15:14.68\00:15:16.66
and strategically
throwing into the grass
00:15:16.69\00:15:18.40
so could find it more
conveniently the next day
00:15:18.43\00:15:20.61
just enough to help me
to deal with the guilt.
00:15:20.64\00:15:23.08
And then one day a
significant thing happened.
00:15:23.11\00:15:25.49
I got on my knees and I prayed,
00:15:25.52\00:15:26.64
"Lord, I don't
want to do this anymore
00:15:26.67\00:15:28.83
and I want you to do
whatever is necessary
00:15:28.86\00:15:31.70
to help me to quit doing this.
00:15:31.73\00:15:33.76
I don't want to be
a hypocrite anymore.
00:15:33.79\00:15:35.04
I really want to be a Christian.
00:15:35.07\00:15:36.43
I took my marijuana and my pipe
00:15:36.46\00:15:37.87
and threw it into the
woodstove and burned it
00:15:37.90\00:15:40.53
and I decided I really
was going to be a Christian.
00:15:40.56\00:15:42.48
I started doing all
the dos and the don'ts,
00:15:42.51\00:15:44.47
I got up every
morning, studied my Bible,
00:15:44.50\00:15:46.30
I prayed, I went for a
walk with my wife in the morning
00:15:46.33\00:15:49.59
and I tried to
really be a Christian
00:15:49.62\00:15:51.11
and things were going so great.
00:15:51.14\00:15:52.45
One week went
by, two weeks went by
00:15:52.48\00:15:54.80
and then one day
like I was saying earlier,
00:15:54.83\00:15:56.68
I walked into the
house and my wife was there
00:15:56.71\00:15:59.15
and she said something to me
00:15:59.18\00:16:00.40
and to be honest
00:16:00.43\00:16:01.52
I was being a little
bit edgy, little irritable.
00:16:01.55\00:16:03.50
I was kind of feeling
like I needed something more
00:16:03.53\00:16:05.66
or maybe some of
you can relate to that,
00:16:05.69\00:16:07.65
that need to have
something more in your life.
00:16:07.68\00:16:11.12
And she said something to
me and I said something to her
00:16:11.15\00:16:14.52
and I know this never
happens in your homes.
00:16:14.55\00:16:16.36
I know this is just
something really rare
00:16:16.39\00:16:18.00
that just happens like happened
in my home at that time.
00:16:18.03\00:16:20.88
And she said something to
me and I said something to her
00:16:20.91\00:16:23.86
and she said something to
me and I said something to her
00:16:23.89\00:16:25.54
and the next thing you
know, we were just going at--
00:16:25.57\00:16:27.20
we were getting really
angry and talking back and forth
00:16:27.23\00:16:30.29
and all of a
sudden she flipped over
00:16:30.32\00:16:32.92
and knock down some
stuff off the counter
00:16:32.95\00:16:34.61
and I knocked over a
lamp and we started cursing
00:16:34.64\00:16:37.21
and yelling at each
other and we worked our way
00:16:37.24\00:16:39.58
into the kitchen
and my wife and--
00:16:39.61\00:16:42.31
she doesn't like me telling this
part of the story and she says,
00:16:42.34\00:16:44.74
that's not
exactly how it happened.
00:16:44.77\00:16:46.88
But she run over and grabbed
a black cast iron frying pan.
00:16:46.91\00:16:49.97
You know ladies, what
I am talking about, right
00:16:50.00\00:16:51.49
a black cast iron skillet.
00:16:51.52\00:16:53.76
And she took that skillet
and she was looking at me
00:16:53.79\00:16:55.95
and she says that she wasn't
intending to hit me with that
00:16:55.98\00:16:58.36
but she had
that look in her eye.
00:16:58.39\00:16:59.99
And she had it in
her hand like this
00:17:00.02\00:17:02.21
and she raised it up
00:17:02.24\00:17:03.49
and she slammed it
down on the counter
00:17:03.52\00:17:05.92
so hard that the
skillet broke in half.
00:17:05.95\00:17:08.57
Now I'm not talking
about the little handle,
00:17:08.60\00:17:10.13
I'm talking about the
skillet, it broke in half.
00:17:10.16\00:17:11.87
And as I was
standing there I was thinking
00:17:11.90\00:17:13.81
I was really thankful that,
00:17:13.84\00:17:14.87
that was not my
head that happened
00:17:14.90\00:17:17.82
that--that had hit me on.
00:17:17.85\00:17:19.31
Anyhow, I looked at
her and I said, fine,
00:17:19.34\00:17:20.61
I want a divorce and
she said, that's great
00:17:20.64\00:17:22.31
and I turned around and I left.
00:17:22.34\00:17:24.84
Well, I just want to
share with you something,
00:17:24.87\00:17:27.56
a lot of people
have this vicious cycle
00:17:27.59\00:17:29.31
that they go in
because down inside
00:17:29.34\00:17:31.36
they really want to be involved
with a certain type of sin
00:17:31.39\00:17:35.20
they're
struggling with alcoholism,
00:17:35.23\00:17:37.21
food addictions, drug addictions
but yet they feel guilty.
00:17:37.24\00:17:41.71
And so if they can
create a circumstance
00:17:41.74\00:17:44.39
that can give them
a justifiable reason
00:17:44.42\00:17:46.51
for going out and
indulging in that sin
00:17:46.54\00:17:49.15
it helps them to
deal with the guilt.
00:17:49.18\00:17:51.06
But the only problem is
that once you do the sin
00:17:51.09\00:17:53.82
you'll
experience the guilt again
00:17:53.85\00:17:55.43
and even thought
you're subconsciously
00:17:55.46\00:17:56.84
trying to blame
it on your spouse
00:17:56.87\00:17:58.25
or your work
person that you work with.
00:17:58.28\00:18:00.64
You know for people say,
00:18:00.67\00:18:01.70
well, I wouldn't
drink if it wasn't for--
00:18:01.73\00:18:03.45
and they give this
long list of excuses
00:18:03.48\00:18:05.40
of why they do or do
the things that they do.
00:18:05.43\00:18:09.06
But you know, I saw
that this vicious cycle
00:18:09.09\00:18:11.96
was taking place in my life.
00:18:11.99\00:18:13.10
I stomped out of the house
and now I had a perfect excuse.
00:18:13.13\00:18:17.47
I drove about 60
miles away to a nearby town
00:18:17.50\00:18:20.60
where I was raised.
00:18:20.63\00:18:21.76
I went over to this man's
house who was a drug dealer,
00:18:21.79\00:18:23.86
I knocked on his
door, nobody home.
00:18:23.89\00:18:26.66
Went on to sit in my car
00:18:26.69\00:18:27.89
and as I was sitting in my
car I was thinking to myself,
00:18:27.92\00:18:31.88
you know, here I
am, I just told my wife
00:18:31.91\00:18:34.02
I want a divorce, here I am,
00:18:34.05\00:18:35.54
I've tried for two or
three weeks to be a Christian,
00:18:35.57\00:18:37.61
I was doing really
well, I was studying my Bible,
00:18:37.64\00:18:39.69
I was praying everyday.
00:18:39.72\00:18:41.05
I was really
making it as a Christian,
00:18:41.08\00:18:42.42
now I'm not blowing it again.
00:18:42.45\00:18:44.79
And I thought to myself,
I need to talk to somebody
00:18:44.82\00:18:47.70
and I thought
who could I talk to?
00:18:47.73\00:18:49.24
It's getting
late in the evening,
00:18:49.27\00:18:50.47
I thought, you know, I
could go talk to my dad.
00:18:50.50\00:18:52.60
My dad had become a
Seventh-day Adventist,
00:18:52.63\00:18:54.26
my mom had become a
Seventh-Day Adventist.
00:18:54.29\00:18:55.85
They're people I
really respected,
00:18:55.88\00:18:57.59
I saw how God
changed my parents' lives.
00:18:57.62\00:19:00.08
And I thought you know,
I can go talk to my father.
00:19:00.11\00:19:02.21
I had a good
relationship with him.
00:19:02.24\00:19:04.04
I jumped in my 1939
Chevy with a Corvette engine
00:19:04.07\00:19:07.45
and I went flying
over to my parents' house.
00:19:07.48\00:19:10.09
I walked into the
house and my dad was there
00:19:10.12\00:19:12.38
and I notice something
peculiar about my father.
00:19:12.41\00:19:15.39
I saw his face was all
red and he was talking to me
00:19:15.42\00:19:18.50
and he tried to
distract me a little bit
00:19:18.53\00:19:20.14
and made me look at some things
00:19:20.17\00:19:21.75
that he was working
on in the house there
00:19:21.78\00:19:23.14
and he went over to
the countertop there
00:19:23.17\00:19:25.61
and he pushed
something off to the side
00:19:25.64\00:19:27.58
and threw a cloth over it.
00:19:27.61\00:19:28.68
I looked up the side of my eye
00:19:28.71\00:19:29.94
and saw that it
was a glass of wine
00:19:29.97\00:19:32.35
and a bottle of wine and
I realized all of a sudden,
00:19:32.38\00:19:35.73
I caught my
father drinking alcohol.
00:19:35.76\00:19:38.29
And I don't know about
you, how you would feel.
00:19:38.32\00:19:39.89
Here I came to get
some advice from my father,
00:19:39.92\00:19:42.45
I was looking for
counsel, I was looking for help.
00:19:42.48\00:19:44.34
I was struggling
with the drug problem,
00:19:44.37\00:19:45.85
I was talking about divorcing
my wife and I went to my dad
00:19:45.88\00:19:48.63
who was professing
to be a Christian too
00:19:48.66\00:19:50.71
and here my dad was
having similar struggle
00:19:50.74\00:19:53.33
just like the one I was having.
00:19:53.36\00:19:55.51
And I just looked at my dad
00:19:55.54\00:19:57.55
and this schizophrenic
part of me kicked in you know,
00:19:57.58\00:19:59.82
like I heard this,
you are seeing that
00:19:59.85\00:20:01.26
illustration of like a little
devil sitting on one shoulder
00:20:01.29\00:20:03.86
and a little angel
sitting on the other shoulder
00:20:03.89\00:20:05.99
they are talking to the person
00:20:06.02\00:20:07.05
and they are
going back and forth.
00:20:07.08\00:20:08.35
It was kind of like
what was going on in my head.
00:20:08.38\00:20:10.47
On one side I heard little angel
00:20:10.50\00:20:12.33
or God's voice
saying something like,
00:20:12.36\00:20:14.13
you need to talk to
your father, he's backslide,
00:20:14.16\00:20:15.89
you need to encourage him
00:20:15.92\00:20:16.95
because you know
I was a Christian,
00:20:16.98\00:20:18.01
I wanted to help people.
00:20:18.04\00:20:19.32
I gave Bible
studies and things like that
00:20:19.35\00:20:21.32
and I wanted to really try
to be involved with ministry.
00:20:21.35\00:20:24.64
And then I heard
the other voice say,
00:20:24.67\00:20:26.06
Jeff, remember how many times
00:20:26.09\00:20:27.24
you threw the
bag out in the field
00:20:27.27\00:20:28.37
and how many times you tried
to quit, you'll never quit.
00:20:28.40\00:20:31.17
And I went back and
forth and back and forth
00:20:31.20\00:20:32.82
and finally I
listen to the little devil
00:20:32.85\00:20:35.06
and I thought
to myself you know,
00:20:35.09\00:20:36.21
I'll never quit,
I'll never get the victory
00:20:36.24\00:20:37.85
and I just looked at my dad.
00:20:37.88\00:20:39.17
And he was
trying to talk with me
00:20:39.20\00:20:40.29
and stuff and I
just totally tuned out
00:20:40.32\00:20:42.26
and I said to him, I
said, dad, I'll see you later
00:20:42.29\00:20:45.13
and I slammed
the door and I left.
00:20:45.16\00:20:47.11
Got in my car, peeled
out in the parking lot,
00:20:47.14\00:20:49.73
drove over to my
friend's house, he was home.
00:20:49.76\00:20:51.33
I bought some
cocaine and some marijuana.
00:20:51.36\00:20:53.05
I went out that
night and partied,
00:20:53.08\00:20:54.61
late at night I went
home and went to bed.
00:20:54.64\00:20:57.94
Next morning I went out
00:20:57.97\00:20:59.74
and I was working in
my shop and fixing a car,
00:20:59.77\00:21:02.58
sanding on a car
and a telephone rang.
00:21:02.61\00:21:05.25
And my dad said to me,
he said-- it was my father
00:21:05.28\00:21:08.30
and he said, what
are you doing today?
00:21:08.33\00:21:09.71
I said, I am just
working in my shop.
00:21:09.74\00:21:10.77
He said, I'd like to
come and talk with you,
00:21:10.80\00:21:12.09
are you going to be around?
00:21:12.12\00:21:13.15
I said, sure.
00:21:13.18\00:21:14.51
And so he said, I will be
there in just a little while.
00:21:14.54\00:21:17.85
Couple of hours went
by and the next thing
00:21:17.88\00:21:19.16
I knew my dad pulled
up on his motorcycle,
00:21:19.19\00:21:21.14
he was retired now and
he had a big motorcycle
00:21:21.17\00:21:23.55
he used to drive around.
00:21:23.58\00:21:25.05
He came and you know, have you
ever had one of those situations
00:21:25.08\00:21:27.38
where you know you need to
talk to somebody about an issue
00:21:27.41\00:21:30.62
and they know they need
to talk to you about an issue
00:21:30.65\00:21:32.43
but at the same time
00:21:32.46\00:21:34.18
you are just too
nervous to really talk about it,
00:21:34.21\00:21:36.17
you are afraid so you
kind of beat around the bush.
00:21:36.20\00:21:37.93
And my dad talked to me
about Sabbath school lesson,
00:21:37.96\00:21:40.70
he talked to me about family,
he talked to me about my work.
00:21:40.73\00:21:42.96
I talked to him
about motorcycles
00:21:42.99\00:21:45.40
and cars and things like that.
00:21:45.43\00:21:47.87
A couple of hours went by
00:21:47.90\00:21:48.93
and we never
talked about the issue.
00:21:48.96\00:21:51.16
So finally I just you know,
my-- finally my dad looked at me
00:21:51.19\00:21:54.88
and he said, hey, I got to go
00:21:54.91\00:21:56.07
and I said, okay,
we'll see you later.
00:21:56.10\00:21:57.60
He got on his
motorcycle and he left.
00:21:57.63\00:21:58.82
I went in and I
lay down some cocaine
00:21:58.85\00:22:00.58
and consumed it and
I smoke some marijuana,
00:22:00.61\00:22:03.04
I start sanding on this
car and an hour went by,
00:22:03.07\00:22:05.08
two hours went by
and the phone rang
00:22:05.11\00:22:07.45
and I picked up the phone
00:22:07.48\00:22:09.48
and it was a friend
of mine from high school,
00:22:09.51\00:22:10.89
I hadn't talked
to him for years.
00:22:10.92\00:22:12.22
He said, Jeff, I've
got some bad news for you.
00:22:12.25\00:22:14.47
And I said, what's that?
00:22:14.50\00:22:15.85
He said, your father is dead.
00:22:15.88\00:22:16.99
He was killed in an
accident this afternoon.
00:22:17.02\00:22:18.48
And I said, listen,
Dan-- his name was Dan.
00:22:18.51\00:22:20.47
I said, Dan,
this is a sick joke,
00:22:20.50\00:22:22.26
it's not fully, okay.
00:22:22.29\00:22:23.38
And he said, no, I am
serious, your dad is dead.
00:22:23.41\00:22:24.94
I said, no way,
he was just here.
00:22:24.97\00:22:26.55
He said your father is
dead, I saw the accident.
00:22:26.58\00:22:28.90
And I said, no way, and I said,
00:22:28.93\00:22:30.35
this is not funny, and
I slammed down the phone
00:22:30.38\00:22:32.23
and called my parents'
house and the line was busy,
00:22:32.26\00:22:34.50
the line was busy.
00:22:34.53\00:22:35.82
And I kept trying to get through
00:22:35.85\00:22:37.40
and in desperation
I called the hospital
00:22:37.43\00:22:39.12
that I knew was close by
00:22:39.15\00:22:40.46
where my parents
lived and I said,
00:22:40.49\00:22:42.25
can I have ER, please
and emergency room answered.
00:22:42.28\00:22:44.49
I said, has
there been an accident
00:22:44.52\00:22:45.64
on such and such
avenue and they said, yes,
00:22:45.67\00:22:48.15
there has been but we can not
release any other information.
00:22:48.18\00:22:50.84
And so I called in desperation
00:22:50.87\00:22:52.20
one more time
to my parents' home
00:22:52.23\00:22:53.62
and my mom
answered and she was crying
00:22:53.65\00:22:55.70
and she said it's true,
00:22:55.73\00:22:57.02
your father was
killed this afternoon.
00:22:57.05\00:22:59.37
Shortly after he had
gotten home from visiting me,
00:22:59.40\00:23:03.28
he took a blind lady out
to walk her down the road
00:23:03.31\00:23:06.17
and two young kids that
were on drugs and alcohol
00:23:06.20\00:23:08.44
swerved off the road
and they slammed into both,
00:23:08.47\00:23:11.17
my father and this elderly lady
00:23:11.20\00:23:12.58
and killed both
of them instantly.
00:23:12.61\00:23:14.32
And as I was
standing there in my shop
00:23:14.35\00:23:17.72
holding this telephone to my ear
00:23:17.75\00:23:20.03
I started thinking
about all the things
00:23:20.06\00:23:21.66
that had
transpired the last 24 hours.
00:23:21.69\00:23:23.86
And I was thinking to
myself, why him and not me?
00:23:23.89\00:23:26.39
Here we're both Christians,
both trying to do what's right,
00:23:26.42\00:23:29.16
trying to have a
Christian experience
00:23:29.19\00:23:30.88
and now he was
dead and I was alive.
00:23:30.91\00:23:32.48
You know, why him, why not me?
00:23:32.51\00:23:34.27
You know and as I
was standing there,
00:23:34.30\00:23:37.09
I was holding the phone
00:23:37.12\00:23:38.38
it was like I can
see my father's face
00:23:38.41\00:23:40.57
and I can look into his eyes
00:23:40.60\00:23:41.82
and I can see a
reflection of myself,
00:23:41.85\00:23:43.69
a father and a son,
the same kind of dilemma,
00:23:43.72\00:23:46.83
the same kind of struggle.
00:23:46.86\00:23:48.93
And as I hung up the telephone
00:23:48.96\00:23:51.24
and realize all the things that
was gonna have to happen now
00:23:51.27\00:23:53.50
and making funeral
arrangements and helping my mom
00:23:53.53\00:23:55.45
work though this
difficult time in her life
00:23:55.48\00:23:57.65
I realize that there been
something missing in my life.
00:23:57.68\00:24:02.16
I learned all
these different truths
00:24:02.19\00:24:04.91
but I never learned about Him
00:24:04.94\00:24:07.18
who was the Truth
with a capital "T."
00:24:07.21\00:24:11.20
I never learned
really what it meant
00:24:11.23\00:24:12.79
to pick up the
cross and follow Jesus.
00:24:12.82\00:24:16.42
You know, in Matthew 16:24,
00:24:16.45\00:24:20.43
Jesus said unto
to His disciples,
00:24:20.46\00:24:24.03
"If any man will come
after me, let him deny himself,
00:24:24.06\00:24:27.78
and take up his
cross, and follow Me.'"
00:24:27.81\00:24:32.10
I would just like to
ask you the question,
00:24:32.13\00:24:34.40
what does Jesus mean here
00:24:34.43\00:24:35.51
when He talks about
taking up the cross?
00:24:35.54\00:24:38.11
Is He talking
about putting icons
00:24:38.14\00:24:40.00
around in your house
and up in your church
00:24:40.03\00:24:41.87
or is He talking about
wearing little cross ear rings,
00:24:41.90\00:24:44.32
a little cross
necklaces around your neck.
00:24:44.35\00:24:47.70
You know what is this cross,
00:24:47.73\00:24:49.26
the real cross that
Christ is talking about?
00:24:49.29\00:24:51.95
I'll tell you what it is,
it's a daily dying yourself.
00:24:51.98\00:24:55.88
You know when God
reveals His will from heaven,
00:24:55.91\00:24:59.07
it's a vertical
plane coming down
00:24:59.10\00:25:01.26
and that vertical
plane crosses our human will.
00:25:01.29\00:25:04.62
You know we have
our own motivations,
00:25:04.65\00:25:06.89
our own desires,
our own inclinations,
00:25:06.92\00:25:08.50
our own selfishness
00:25:08.53\00:25:09.60
and the will of God
comes to us and speaks to us.
00:25:09.63\00:25:12.15
This is the way walk in it
00:25:12.18\00:25:14.01
and it crosses our natural
sinful human inclinations
00:25:14.04\00:25:17.01
and there is
the cross of Christ.
00:25:17.04\00:25:18.43
It's an intersection of wills.
00:25:18.46\00:25:21.33
And so the cross of Christ
is yielding your will to God.
00:25:21.36\00:25:25.92
In fact, in scriptures,
it says in Galatians 6:14,
00:25:25.95\00:25:29.49
it says, "But God
forbid that I should glory,
00:25:29.52\00:25:32.68
save in the cross of
our Lord Jesus Christ,
00:25:32.71\00:25:35.49
by whom the world
is crucified unto me,
00:25:35.52\00:25:37.93
and I unto the world."
00:25:37.96\00:25:39.96
You see, God is calling us
to make a decision to submit
00:25:39.99\00:25:43.87
and surrender our will to Him.
00:25:43.90\00:25:46.72
That's what the cross
of Christ is all about.
00:25:46.75\00:25:48.52
That was the missing
element that I had in my life.
00:25:48.55\00:25:51.22
I didn't understand
what it meant to surrender,
00:25:51.25\00:25:54.17
to submit my
will to Jesus Christ.
00:25:54.20\00:25:57.27
I had all this head knowledge
00:25:57.30\00:25:58.97
but yet it came down to these
different things in my life,
00:25:59.00\00:26:01.73
I would constantly
make the wrong choices
00:26:01.76\00:26:03.79
because I would refuse to follow
00:26:03.82\00:26:06.41
the injunction of Jesus
Christ of taking up His cross
00:26:06.44\00:26:10.87
and following Him,
picking up my cross
00:26:10.90\00:26:12.88
and following Him.
00:26:12.91\00:26:14.26
And in fact, it
says in Galatians 2:20,
00:26:14.29\00:26:16.96
it says, "I am
crucified with Christ,
00:26:16.99\00:26:19.33
nevertheless I live, yet not I,
00:26:19.36\00:26:21.93
but Christ liveth
in me and the life
00:26:21.96\00:26:24.09
which I now live in the flesh
00:26:24.12\00:26:25.99
I live by the
faith of the Son of God,
00:26:26.02\00:26:28.91
who loved me, and
gave Himself for me."
00:26:28.94\00:26:32.26
I would just like
to challenge you today,
00:26:32.29\00:26:34.19
have you personally
taken on the cross of Christ?
00:26:34.22\00:26:38.39
Have you come to the point
00:26:38.42\00:26:39.48
where you are not
just playing churchinaty,
00:26:39.51\00:26:41.98
but you really
being a Christian?
00:26:42.01\00:26:44.10
Have you come to the point
00:26:44.13\00:26:45.16
where it's just
not head knowledge
00:26:45.19\00:26:47.72
and have you come to the point
00:26:47.75\00:26:48.96
of really giving your
heart moment by moment?
00:26:48.99\00:26:51.69
Paul says, I die daily.
00:26:51.72\00:26:52.98
Well, let's take
that little bit further,
00:26:53.01\00:26:54.90
I die moment by moment
00:26:54.93\00:26:56.69
and surrendering
our selfish inclination,
00:26:56.72\00:26:59.05
our selfish
will to Jesus Christ.
00:26:59.08\00:27:01.81
That's my challenge to you
today and that's' the challenge
00:27:01.84\00:27:04.66
that I have to
face everyday in my life
00:27:04.69\00:27:06.95
because that
cross never goes away.
00:27:06.98\00:27:09.00
That cross is there and you know
00:27:09.03\00:27:10.85
what is so
wonderful about that cross,
00:27:10.88\00:27:12.94
is that when we
submit our will to God
00:27:12.97\00:27:15.15
a supernatural power
above and beyond ourselves
00:27:15.18\00:27:17.84
comes into our life to
give us the ability to do that
00:27:17.87\00:27:20.40
which we normally
couldn't do ourselves
00:27:20.43\00:27:22.73
and that cross all of a
sudden becomes this yoke,
00:27:22.76\00:27:26.53
not a bondage
00:27:26.56\00:27:27.81
but a yoke of deliverance
where we can say like David,
00:27:27.84\00:27:31.52
"I delight to do thy will O God,
00:27:31.55\00:27:33.64
for thy law is
written in my heart."
00:27:33.67\00:27:37.15
If you would like to see
this complete presentation,
00:27:37.18\00:27:39.73
please write or
call Laymen Ministries,
00:27:39.76\00:27:42.37
414 Zapada Road,
Saint Maries, Idaho, 83861
00:27:42.40\00:27:47.86
or call 1800-245-1844.
00:27:47.89\00:27:52.64
You can contact us on
the web at www.lmn.org.
00:27:52.67\00:27:58.36