Our world had just
turned upside down.
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Our 19-year-old
daughter was pregnant.
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We've just started
the pastoral ministry
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and now, what
was going to happen,
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what will people say or think.
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We didn't know,
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we were concerned
about our daughter,
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but we were also
concerned about our own future.
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Join us as we tell you our story
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on Life After Choice.
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Welcome, this is
Pastor Todd Parker
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with Life After Choice.
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And I'm Gina Parker,
and welcome to our story.
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Our daughter was
pregnant at 19, what do you do?
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Seem to be a big
question for us, we had no idea.
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But as the story
started, we started...
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We lived in Northern
Idaho, great place to live,
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there is a lot of
great stuff there.
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Kids grow up there
for many, many years,
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and I was a Bible worker there
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in with Upper
Columbia Conference
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and I loved doing
it, it was a lot of fun,
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and we are called
from the conference down
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in the south.
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Would you really
like to be a pastor?
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Well, I'm excited,
sure, I would love to be,
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but we prayed about it first.
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We made sure God was involved
in this whole situation,
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and as we prayed about
it and God started moving,
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but we wanted to make sure
that our family was on board
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and we asked our
kids to make sure.
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My son was up in
Canada actually at the time,
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he was working in
film school up in Canada
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and we were in
the Northern Idaho
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and we prayed about it.
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My daughter
wasn't really on board
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but even though
she wasn't on board,
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we prayed about it
and she decided eventually
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that she wouldn't
like to go with us.
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It was a struggle for her.
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She was, had her
friends, her family, her home,
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everything she knew
and when we got the call,
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we did pray and we asked God,
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"God, is this
what You want from us?"
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And God said yes.
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So went and she did
go, it was reluctantly,
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but she went.
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And when we got
there in the south,
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she got a job, she
started making friends
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and things were going
okay or so we thought.
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One Sunday morning,
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I remember it as
if it was yesterday.
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We were driving
home from a church event
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and the phone rang
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and it was my
sister-in-law and she says
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"Gina, I have something
very important to tell you,
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are you sitting down."
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My first thought was
something has happened
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to my
mother-in-law, she has cancer
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and I was
wondering what's going on.
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And she says,
"Gina, Jessica called me"
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and then I thought,
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oh, no she has been in
a car accident you know,
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I wasn't prepared
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for what she was
about to say next
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and she said,
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she called me to tell
me that she is pregnant.
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It was literally like somebody
was punching me in the stomach.
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I was in a daze, I
didn't even realize
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I was driving for a moment
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and I didn't
even know what to say,
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but the look on my face...
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It felt like you
were bit frustrated.
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Yeah.
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Oh, I was terrified, you
know, I didn't know what to say.
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I didn't know how to tell
you and you kept asking me.
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Well, I was looking
at your face saying,
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you know, what is
going on, what's going on,
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what is going on here?
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Because your face, I
mean if you were there,
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look at your
face, read your face,
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I was reading there
something terrifying,
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not knowing what was going
on and saying what's going on.
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Oh, you know,
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I was still trying
to process it myself.
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And truth of the matter
is, I was scared to tell you.
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I didn't know how to tell
you, how do you tell somebody
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that their daughter is pregnant
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when you can't
even understand it.
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So I remember all of a
sudden I stopped and I said,
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"Jessica is pregnant."
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In that...
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I think in that situation
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it was kind of like
where your emotions are there,
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your frustrations are
there, your hurt is there,
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and I think the biggest
thing is what did I do wrong,
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what did we do wrong,
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where do we go
wrong in this whole thing,
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and you're kind
of analyzing that,
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you are looking back
in that situation saying,
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"This is ridiculous.
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Why did it happen to us?"
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It always
happens to other people
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but why would it
ever happen to us.
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That's true and
for me, you know,
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I'm ashamed to say it
now but back then it was,
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what are people going to think,
what are people going to say,
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how they gonna react?
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Yeah.
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What's gonna happen to your job?
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Right.
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You know, what's
gonna happen to you,
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you just became a pastor.
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And what are the
members gonna think.
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What are members
going to think, yes.
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You know, you are...
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And you know I think
there is not only that,
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what it also is your family,
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what are the family gonna think?
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Well, you know,
you're basing it on that
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because that's your life.
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I mean you've put your
life into the ministry,
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is it gonna be over
now, is it going to stop?
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And then you know,
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I think we put a lot
of pressure on ourselves
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because oh, you are a
pastor and I'm a pastor's wife,
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and our kids are
supposed to be perfect,
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and everything is
supposed to be perfect
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and now it's not.
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You're almost like as
a pastor, pastor's wife
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you are in a fish bowl.
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Right.
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You're seen by everybody
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and you've to do the right thing
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at all the times but,
you know, I came along,
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when we were
sitting in the car that day.
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I remember saying
Gina, we gotta move forward,
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we gotta not just...
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I don't know
what's gonna happen,
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when you don't
know what' gonna happen
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but God knows
what's gonna happen,
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we just gotta move forward.
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You know, it's, moving
forward is a scary thing
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but it's essential
for everybody to do.
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And so, I remember talking
about you know, Moses and Him,
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Moses and, you
know, here is the Red Sea
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and here's he's on the Red Sea,
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but there is the Egyptians
coming behind the Israelites
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and they are blocked
into this tight spot.
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What are they gonna do?
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And God says be quiet to Moses,
I think the message Bible says,
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shut up and go forward.
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You know, He didn't want
him to whine and complaint,
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he said, go forward,
and we had to go forward
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even though our
job would've been lost,
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our friends may
have said, you know,
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we don't have time
for you, all the stuff.
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We just knew that God
wanted us to go forward.
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I know for me
those words were comfort,
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for me those words were like,
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I could breathe
because I knew now
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that I could move forward
and that didn't change the fact
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that we had a lot to deal with,
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but I knew it's
gonna be okay with you.
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And that meant, that was huge
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because I know you and I
were gonna be okay and so,
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but we still had to
do with other issues,
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we had to deal with
you telling your boss.
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Talking to Peter,
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calling Peter up and I did that,
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I called him
several months later,
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praying about it,
asking God to help with that
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and I knew that, you know,
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and you know, lot of
times what we always do,
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you know, we
always make it the worst,
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we always looking it,
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"Oh, my goodness,
it's gonna be the worst,"
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but God is in the
business of dealing with it
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and so, I talked
to Peter about it
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and Peter was considerably like,
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wow, I thought it
was gonna be really bad.
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He didn't talk to the
conference president yet,
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but he didn't look at it like,
I thought he would look at it.
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Praise the
Lord. Yeah, he didn't.
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You know, fear is
powerful and when you have fear,
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it can cause you to do things
that you wouldn't normally do.
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It causes you to
make a rational decisions
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and it causes you
to not trust in God.
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And at that time, I had fear,
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and I praise God for you
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because you
brought me back to reality
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and you took away my
fear, and that helped me to say,
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okay, I can't
do this on our own,
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we can't do it on our own,
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but we can trust in God,
and God's gonna get us through,
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I don't know how,
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but you still
live with that stigma,
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what are people
gonna think, you know,
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what are they gonna say
and we hadn't told our...
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Church family.
Church family, yeah.
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Well, that's a good story
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because when you were
in the church that day
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and the church
member came up to you,
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she didn't know, did she?
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She...
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What had happened
was as time was going on,
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Jessica was getting
sicker, she was losing weight,
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she was pale,
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all the signs
of morning sickness
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and this amazing godly woman
came up to me and she says,
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"Can I talk to you?"
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And I said, "Okay."
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And she says, "Is
Jessica pregnant?"
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And again there
is that, you know...
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See, I was raised
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where you have to
watch everything you did,
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everything, you know,
00:09:29.83\00:09:31.17
my parents were
constantly telling me,
00:09:31.20\00:09:32.90
you know, don't let
people talk about you, you know,
00:09:32.93\00:09:35.57
you make sure you do this
right and you do that right
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and so I lived a
very strict line,
00:09:38.64\00:09:41.94
I toed a very strict line.
00:09:41.98\00:09:43.95
Even, you know, when
you were at your home,
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remember that, leaving
home at your parent's house
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and you would go,
00:09:48.52\00:09:50.32
you would wear
something outside,
00:09:50.35\00:09:51.69
your parents
would be on your case.
00:09:51.72\00:09:53.76
Oh, yeah.
00:09:53.79\00:09:55.12
Because they do
wanted to make sure
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things were doubled
out, you did not do that.
00:09:56.52\00:09:58.23
I wasn't even allowed
to wear shorts outside,
00:09:58.26\00:10:00.50
I was not allowed
to go on the front yard
00:10:00.53\00:10:02.43
unless they were there.
00:10:02.46\00:10:03.80
Yeah 'cause we always
worried what people think.
00:10:03.83\00:10:06.74
So at that moment
when she came to me
00:10:06.77\00:10:11.07
and she said,
"Can I talk to you?"
00:10:11.11\00:10:14.91
And then she says,
"Is Jessica pregnant?"
00:10:14.94\00:10:19.25
I wanted to say no, no,
00:10:19.28\00:10:21.98
she's just not feeling
good you know, you know.
00:10:22.02\00:10:24.45
But how you'd hide a pregnancy?
00:10:24.49\00:10:27.96
And reality was,
I didn't want to.
00:10:27.99\00:10:32.13
But you know, here's the thing,
00:10:32.16\00:10:33.50
we're getting a little
ahead of our self is the fact
00:10:33.53\00:10:35.30
that here we were so worried
about what people were thinking
00:10:35.33\00:10:39.63
and here our baby
girl was suffering.
00:10:39.67\00:10:43.34
So it's the unknown for her
00:10:43.37\00:10:44.71
just like it was unknown for us.
00:10:44.74\00:10:46.07
It was.
00:10:46.11\00:10:47.44
And sometimes I
think the unknown for her
00:10:47.48\00:10:49.21
was probably
bigger than our unknown
00:10:49.24\00:10:51.61
'cause she is 19 and we're older
00:10:51.65\00:10:56.55
and I don't know, we've
been through several unknowns
00:10:56.58\00:10:58.75
but she has never
been through many unknowns
00:10:58.79\00:11:00.39
'cause she has
been in the family.
00:11:00.42\00:11:01.76
That's right.
00:11:01.79\00:11:03.12
And being in the family,
00:11:03.16\00:11:04.49
we are always
taking care of her,
00:11:04.53\00:11:05.86
we're always sheltering
her but this was hugest unknown
00:11:05.89\00:11:07.50
that you could ever
imagine a child being in.
00:11:07.53\00:11:09.90
And I praise the Lord
00:11:09.93\00:11:11.27
that we were able as a
group of family members
00:11:11.30\00:11:14.74
come together
and be a part of her
00:11:14.77\00:11:17.01
and help her in that unknown.
00:11:17.04\00:11:19.57
Yeah, you know, as
a mother it was hard
00:11:19.61\00:11:23.58
because like I said
00:11:23.61\00:11:25.81
because of the way I was raised,
00:11:25.85\00:11:27.32
I thought that
we had to make sure
00:11:27.35\00:11:29.48
she carried all the Ps
and Qs and she did something
00:11:29.52\00:11:34.22
which meant we
did raise her right.
00:11:34.26\00:11:37.33
But you know what?
00:11:37.36\00:11:38.76
God in His infinite mercy
made me realize that Gina,
00:11:38.79\00:11:43.06
she is your child and I
called her up and I said,
00:11:43.10\00:11:46.37
"Jessica, we
know you are pregnant,
00:11:46.40\00:11:49.47
but it's gonna be okay.
00:11:49.50\00:11:51.57
We love you and we
gonna work through this
00:11:51.61\00:11:55.84
and it's gonna be all right,
00:11:55.88\00:11:57.35
and we don't know
what's gonna happen
00:11:57.38\00:12:01.28
but that tiny
little life inside of you
00:12:01.32\00:12:04.72
is gonna be loved."
00:12:04.75\00:12:06.96
And even though in
mind, I was struggling
00:12:06.99\00:12:11.89
with what was going on
00:12:11.93\00:12:13.36
and still like I said,
00:12:13.40\00:12:14.80
what's ingrained from
you from the childhood
00:12:14.83\00:12:16.67
you know, the do's the don'ts.
00:12:16.70\00:12:18.67
I know I wasn't
gonna lecture her,
00:12:18.70\00:12:20.54
she didn't need
to hear that I...
00:12:20.57\00:12:24.57
Why did you do
that? Why did you this?
00:12:24.61\00:12:26.61
You know, you
should've known better.
00:12:26.64\00:12:29.31
I wasn't gonna lecture
on that, she already knew,
00:12:29.34\00:12:32.61
but what she needed
from us was support,
00:12:32.65\00:12:35.92
what she needed
from us was love,
00:12:35.95\00:12:38.49
and what she needed from us
00:12:38.52\00:12:40.49
was knowing that the
God that we serve loved her
00:12:40.52\00:12:45.16
and the only way
she was gonna see that
00:12:45.19\00:12:47.40
was through us.
00:12:47.43\00:12:48.76
Amen, and she...
00:12:48.80\00:12:50.13
You know, the scripture
came to my mind just now,
00:12:50.17\00:12:52.37
"All things work
together for good to them
00:12:52.40\00:12:53.84
that love the Lord."
00:12:53.87\00:12:55.30
And that's the only
way to get through it
00:12:55.34\00:12:57.07
is that He loves us
despite our foibles.
00:12:57.11\00:13:01.21
Now, remember that
arrow, who's that arrow?
00:13:01.24\00:13:03.51
That's right.
00:13:03.55\00:13:05.41
I remember there was the pastor,
00:13:05.45\00:13:08.48
a book that we had read
00:13:08.52\00:13:09.85
and it was a
story about a pastor.
00:13:09.88\00:13:12.62
For years I struggled
00:13:12.65\00:13:15.32
with something that
it happened in my life
00:13:15.36\00:13:19.53
and I remember God
directly telling me no,
00:13:19.56\00:13:25.43
I mean it was so loud,
it was almost deafening, no,
00:13:25.47\00:13:29.10
but I was determined
00:13:29.14\00:13:30.47
that this was
what I wanted to do.
00:13:30.51\00:13:32.37
God, You don't
understand, this is what I want,
00:13:32.41\00:13:35.71
and God kept saying no.
00:13:35.74\00:13:39.38
And I did it anyway.
00:13:39.41\00:13:40.85
And for years
and years and years,
00:13:40.88\00:13:43.12
I struggled with the fact
that no I had to live with
00:13:43.15\00:13:47.69
'cause God knew
better than I did,
00:13:47.72\00:13:52.16
and it wasn't until I
read this book from a pastor,
00:13:52.19\00:13:54.80
and he said that God
can take a crooked arrow
00:13:54.83\00:13:58.13
and still make
it hit its target.
00:13:58.17\00:14:01.30
And so I knew that God
could take the situation
00:14:01.34\00:14:05.77
and He could change it
00:14:05.81\00:14:07.14
and even though
it wasn't the way
00:14:07.18\00:14:09.14
we had hoped it to be,
00:14:09.18\00:14:10.91
it was the way
God wanted it to be,
00:14:10.95\00:14:13.85
and I praised
God that He is always
00:14:13.88\00:14:17.92
and forever in control.
00:14:17.95\00:14:21.72
Well, you know, it's exciting,
00:14:21.76\00:14:23.09
as Logan our grandson came along
00:14:23.12\00:14:25.69
and he is a bundle of joy.
00:14:25.73\00:14:27.63
I tell you what?
00:14:27.66\00:14:29.00
He lights the room up
00:14:29.03\00:14:30.63
every time he comes into a room.
00:14:30.67\00:14:32.67
It's so exciting, so
I just wanted to say,
00:14:32.70\00:14:34.87
you know what?
00:14:34.90\00:14:36.24
Him coming into
our lives was a joy.
00:14:36.27\00:14:39.37