I'm 17 years old. 00:00:01.36\00:00:03.87 And not only that, 00:00:03.90\00:00:05.23 I flunked out of my first year of college, 00:00:05.27\00:00:08.47 and I'm pregnant. 00:00:08.50\00:00:11.21 You wanna hear how I've been restored 00:00:11.24\00:00:14.31 on Life After Choice. 00:00:14.34\00:00:16.01 Welcome to Life After Choice. 00:00:32.36\00:00:34.46 I'm Danny and I'm with my wife, Emily. 00:00:34.50\00:00:36.70 And she's here to share 00:00:36.73\00:00:38.07 something that I just found out recently, 00:00:38.10\00:00:39.83 and I'm so proud of you for sharing your story today. 00:00:39.87\00:00:42.30 Can we just kind of get us started 00:00:42.34\00:00:43.91 on your journey in this process? 00:00:43.94\00:00:46.94 Sure. 00:00:46.98\00:00:48.74 Well, I was 17 years old, 00:00:48.78\00:00:51.95 just newly accepted 00:00:51.98\00:00:53.31 into a predominantly white university 00:00:53.35\00:00:55.88 in the state of Georgia in the early '70s. 00:00:55.92\00:01:01.06 And I started to date this guy, 00:01:01.09\00:01:07.96 really nice guy. 00:01:08.00\00:01:10.07 And we've been dating the whole time 00:01:10.10\00:01:13.54 that I was in school. 00:01:13.57\00:01:15.64 And at the end of the semester, 00:01:15.67\00:01:17.17 I knew I hadn't been doing well in class. 00:01:17.21\00:01:21.68 And I discovered that I was pregnant. 00:01:21.71\00:01:26.61 So I just acted as if everything was okay, 00:01:26.65\00:01:31.35 and I left school, went home. 00:01:31.39\00:01:34.92 And I immediately told my two siblings 00:01:34.96\00:01:39.49 that I was pregnant 00:01:39.53\00:01:41.23 and they made arrangements for me to have an abortion. 00:01:41.26\00:01:45.60 So your siblings did this? 00:01:45.63\00:01:47.24 My siblings had the answer, so I thought. 00:01:47.27\00:01:52.01 And I went along with it 00:01:52.04\00:01:53.38 because I didn't have the heart to tell my parents 00:01:53.41\00:01:55.84 that I was pregnant. 00:01:55.88\00:01:57.75 That would be hard. Yeah. 00:01:57.78\00:01:59.85 So we made these arrangements 00:01:59.88\00:02:03.15 and I went to have the abortion. 00:02:03.18\00:02:05.29 I don't even remember having a counseling session. 00:02:05.32\00:02:08.92 I don't even remember whether there was anesthesia. 00:02:08.96\00:02:14.63 But I do remember 00:02:14.66\00:02:17.40 the aftermath. 00:02:17.43\00:02:19.67 I was in bed in my room at home. 00:02:19.70\00:02:23.34 And just as I was when I was a teenager, 00:02:23.37\00:02:26.14 fighting back menstrual cramps. 00:02:26.17\00:02:29.14 My parents knew, 00:02:29.18\00:02:31.91 no different, 00:02:31.95\00:02:33.31 you know, 00:02:33.35\00:02:34.68 they knew that was a habit that I had, 00:02:34.72\00:02:37.09 so they didn't suspect anything. 00:02:37.12\00:02:39.32 So it's like you had a trauma. It's like you had a daze. 00:02:39.35\00:02:42.72 I was in a daze 00:02:42.76\00:02:44.13 and I was embarrassed, 00:02:44.16\00:02:48.00 but I was determined 00:02:48.03\00:02:49.36 that I was going to resolve this issue, 00:02:49.40\00:02:51.70 so I told my parents that I would get a job. 00:02:51.73\00:02:56.00 And I enrolled in this modeling school 00:02:56.04\00:02:59.07 because the job that I had 00:02:59.11\00:03:00.54 was with this fashion boutique. 00:03:00.58\00:03:02.48 So it was a perfect complement to what I was doing. 00:03:02.51\00:03:07.85 And I told them that I would work 00:03:07.88\00:03:09.32 to pay my student loans. 00:03:09.35\00:03:11.59 So they agreed 00:03:11.62\00:03:13.19 that it was a good plan for me to move out. 00:03:13.22\00:03:17.89 And I recall just thinking, 00:03:17.93\00:03:22.26 well, you know, 00:03:22.30\00:03:23.63 I just suppressed all the motions, 00:03:23.67\00:03:25.63 and all the emotions, and thoughts, 00:03:25.67\00:03:27.64 and feelings about the abortion as if it had never happened. 00:03:27.67\00:03:31.61 So did your parents ever learn anything about it? 00:03:31.64\00:03:33.74 Never. 00:03:33.78\00:03:35.11 Never? Never. 00:03:35.14\00:03:36.48 So you carry all that with you as well? 00:03:36.51\00:03:37.85 I did. 00:03:37.88\00:03:39.48 To make matters worse, 00:03:39.51\00:03:41.78 I was involved in another relationship 00:03:41.82\00:03:45.29 and pregnant again. 00:03:45.32\00:03:50.16 And I'm thinking, 00:03:50.19\00:03:51.53 okay, I already know what to do, 00:03:51.56\00:03:53.66 so I made the arrangements myself 00:03:53.70\00:03:55.73 and had a second abortion. 00:03:55.76\00:03:58.87 And I was suppressing all these feelings 00:03:58.90\00:04:02.24 that I had about it, 00:04:02.27\00:04:03.61 so busy trying to make my life perfect 00:04:03.64\00:04:05.57 after I'd destroyed it with these bad choices. 00:04:05.61\00:04:09.11 So let me ask you, why did you choose the second abortion? 00:04:09.14\00:04:13.88 Why this time? 00:04:13.92\00:04:15.48 Because I already knew what to do, 00:04:15.52\00:04:16.99 and I didn't see the point in trying to have a child 00:04:17.02\00:04:21.39 and I wasn't in a position. 00:04:21.42\00:04:23.12 I wasn't married. 00:04:23.16\00:04:24.93 I wasn't in a position to take care of a child. 00:04:24.96\00:04:27.50 I was barely surviving myself. 00:04:27.53\00:04:29.70 Did the father know? 00:04:29.73\00:04:31.43 He knew. Okay. 00:04:31.47\00:04:32.80 And he paid for the abortion. 00:04:32.83\00:04:34.87 He was adamant about not having a child. 00:04:34.90\00:04:38.21 So they really made it 00:04:38.24\00:04:39.81 a little easier for me to choose to do it. 00:04:39.84\00:04:42.78 But years later, 00:04:42.81\00:04:45.75 I started to believe that 00:04:45.78\00:04:49.68 you know, 00:04:49.72\00:04:51.05 I had to really resolve within myself 00:04:51.09\00:04:54.02 that I had destroyed the lives of two innocent children. 00:04:54.06\00:04:58.23 I had made that choice and it began to haunt me. 00:04:58.26\00:05:01.46 So what made you think about the innocence 00:05:01.50\00:05:04.50 after so long a time? 00:05:04.53\00:05:06.74 What brought that up? 00:05:06.77\00:05:08.74 Well, I was really on a path 00:05:08.77\00:05:12.57 searching for truth in my life for... 00:05:12.61\00:05:17.41 I guess, I was looking for Christ. 00:05:17.45\00:05:19.11 I was looking for 00:05:19.15\00:05:21.25 that acceptance from my Creator 00:05:21.28\00:05:26.15 and I was out on my own trying to put my life together 00:05:26.19\00:05:29.62 and trying to figure out, 00:05:29.66\00:05:31.16 you know, why I was making all these bad choices. 00:05:31.19\00:05:33.53 And so I had in my mind 00:05:33.56\00:05:35.03 that God could not forgive me for what I had done, 00:05:35.06\00:05:39.57 because I wouldn't let Him. 00:05:39.60\00:05:40.94 So let me ask you this. 00:05:40.97\00:05:42.30 You're searching for God, 00:05:42.34\00:05:43.67 but you don't feel like He can forgive you. 00:05:43.71\00:05:46.54 So what made the difference? 00:05:46.57\00:05:47.91 What made the change that gave you some hope 00:05:47.94\00:05:51.21 that He would accept you? 00:05:51.25\00:05:53.55 Well, I was on this path for finding out 00:05:53.58\00:05:57.22 who God really was. 00:05:57.25\00:05:58.59 Okay. 00:05:58.62\00:05:59.95 I had grown up in the Baptist Church, 00:05:59.99\00:06:02.02 and I went through the motions. 00:06:02.06\00:06:03.93 I even recited Scripture as a child, 00:06:03.96\00:06:08.03 but I didn't really know who God was 00:06:08.06\00:06:11.33 until I got involved in some serious Bible studies. 00:06:11.37\00:06:14.87 So you're saying, 00:06:14.90\00:06:16.24 at first you saw God as a poster, 00:06:16.27\00:06:17.61 somebody that you can just look at on the wall, 00:06:17.64\00:06:20.28 but then you started looking for Him 00:06:20.31\00:06:21.78 as a relationship? 00:06:21.81\00:06:23.14 That pretty much wraps it up. 00:06:23.18\00:06:24.81 I would see all these pictures of Christ on the cross, 00:06:24.85\00:06:29.28 but I didn't see Christ as the Savior. 00:06:29.32\00:06:31.09 I didn't understand 00:06:31.12\00:06:32.62 why He was on the cross until I really began to study. 00:06:32.65\00:06:37.23 So I was on this path looking for 00:06:37.26\00:06:42.00 who God really was. 00:06:42.03\00:06:43.37 And it's interesting. 00:06:43.40\00:06:45.57 When I found him, 00:06:45.60\00:06:47.47 I had already been married three times, 00:06:47.50\00:06:50.67 had two children, 00:06:50.71\00:06:52.71 and I was pregnant with my third child, 00:06:52.74\00:06:57.95 and I realized 00:06:57.98\00:06:59.91 that God had a solution for every problem for my life. 00:06:59.95\00:07:05.55 I learned to trust God when I realized 00:07:05.59\00:07:08.02 that He wanted to be 00:07:08.06\00:07:09.39 a part of every facet of my life and my being. 00:07:09.42\00:07:13.73 And I accepted that, 00:07:13.76\00:07:16.13 and I accepted His forgiveness. 00:07:16.16\00:07:19.30 But I hadn't really forgiven myself. 00:07:19.33\00:07:22.80 But it sounds like you're beginning to accept 00:07:22.84\00:07:24.77 that Christ could be your friend, 00:07:24.81\00:07:26.24 not just some God way out in space, 00:07:26.27\00:07:28.58 but somebody that's right here with you right now? 00:07:28.61\00:07:31.98 Right. 00:07:32.01\00:07:33.35 I had to come to that resolution 00:07:33.38\00:07:36.58 before I realized that, 00:07:36.62\00:07:39.15 I was still trying to control my life, 00:07:39.19\00:07:42.72 and I was not doing a very good job of it. 00:07:42.76\00:07:46.90 So I learned to search the scriptures 00:07:46.93\00:07:53.03 when I joined the Seventh-day Adventist Church, 00:07:53.07\00:07:56.27 and I received 00:07:56.30\00:07:58.64 that God wanted to be totally involved 00:07:58.67\00:08:02.08 in all of my life, 00:08:02.11\00:08:03.45 in my children's lives, in our health, 00:08:03.48\00:08:07.58 in our mental, physical and spiritual health. 00:08:07.62\00:08:11.45 So when I accepted that, 00:08:11.49\00:08:14.56 I realized that He could restore me, 00:08:14.59\00:08:17.99 and I found in the scriptures, 00:08:18.03\00:08:21.96 when I read the text that says 00:08:22.00\00:08:23.93 that He could restore the years 00:08:23.97\00:08:27.14 that the cankerworm destroyed. 00:08:27.17\00:08:30.31 So what did He really do to restore you? 00:08:30.34\00:08:31.87 I mean, 00:08:31.91\00:08:33.24 what's practically different about you 00:08:33.27\00:08:35.18 then when you had all these experiences before? 00:08:35.21\00:08:38.41 Well, it's interesting that you ask that question. 00:08:38.45\00:08:41.98 He showed me that when we met, when you and I met, 00:08:42.02\00:08:47.12 He let me know 00:08:47.16\00:08:49.46 that no matter what you've done, I love you. 00:08:49.49\00:08:54.23 So I'm learning something new again today. 00:08:54.26\00:08:56.10 Yes, He let me know that 00:08:56.13\00:08:59.93 "I can restore all those years of guilt that you've had." 00:08:59.97\00:09:04.21 He knew that I wanted to be married, 00:09:04.24\00:09:06.37 and some of my friends would ask me, 00:09:06.41\00:09:08.78 "Why did you remarry?" 00:09:08.81\00:09:10.15 I said, "Because I love being married." 00:09:10.18\00:09:13.45 I watched my parents and their relationship. 00:09:13.48\00:09:15.32 They had a beautiful relationship. 00:09:15.35\00:09:17.45 I know they were disappointed in each other sometimes. 00:09:17.49\00:09:19.99 I even knew when they were upset 00:09:20.02\00:09:21.76 with each other, but they loved each other. 00:09:21.79\00:09:24.13 And I learned to value the institution of marriage 00:09:24.16\00:09:27.43 through my parents. 00:09:27.46\00:09:29.03 And when God sent you to me on my 50th birthday, 00:09:29.06\00:09:35.00 I said, "This is wonderful." 00:09:35.04\00:09:38.34 And that's when I realized, I can be in love, 00:09:38.37\00:09:42.31 and I can be in a wonderful marriage 00:09:42.34\00:09:45.68 without premarital sex... 00:09:45.71\00:09:47.25 Right. 00:09:47.28\00:09:48.62 That's something that I'm really proud of 00:09:48.65\00:09:49.98 that we did together before we married. 00:09:50.02\00:09:52.85 We agreed that 00:09:52.89\00:09:54.36 we weren't going to do things our way, 00:09:54.39\00:09:56.99 we were gonna do things God's way. 00:09:57.03\00:10:00.13 And He's blessed us for that, 00:10:00.16\00:10:02.36 and I'm so thrilled to have you in my life. 00:10:02.40\00:10:07.17 And I was... 00:10:07.20\00:10:08.70 It wasn't keeping the abortions away from you 00:10:08.74\00:10:11.84 was not something I really even entertained. 00:10:11.87\00:10:13.88 I just felt like 00:10:13.91\00:10:15.34 it wasn't a time to talk about it. 00:10:15.38\00:10:17.91 I never really felt like it was something 00:10:17.95\00:10:19.95 that I needed to share with you until now, 00:10:19.98\00:10:23.39 and I'm just so grateful 00:10:23.42\00:10:25.79 that you have proven to be the love of my life. 00:10:25.82\00:10:30.66 Praise the Lord. 00:10:30.69\00:10:32.03 And that we are both restored together. 00:10:32.06\00:10:35.73 And I just praise God for that, 00:10:35.76\00:10:38.53 and I look forward to our future together. 00:10:38.57\00:10:41.20 And I just want to say to any young person or old, 00:10:41.24\00:10:47.54 if you've done things in your life, 00:10:47.58\00:10:50.05 if you've had an abortion 00:10:50.08\00:10:52.25 that God can heal that pain 00:10:52.28\00:10:54.92 that you're carrying and you're suppressing, 00:10:54.95\00:10:57.75 and chasing after false hopes is not the answer. 00:10:57.79\00:11:03.56 God is the only answer. 00:11:03.59\00:11:05.79 If you just allow Him to love you, 00:11:05.83\00:11:09.73 and stop looking for love in all the wrong places. 00:11:09.76\00:11:13.77 That's something that I had to learn 00:11:13.80\00:11:15.44 that I've been looking for love in all these people 00:11:15.47\00:11:18.77 who didn't even know God. 00:11:18.81\00:11:21.01 And, of course, they weren't going to draw me 00:11:21.04\00:11:22.81 close to Him. 00:11:22.84\00:11:24.18 But I remembered the years 00:11:24.21\00:11:26.85 that I suffered 00:11:26.88\00:11:28.85 because I chose to go my own way. 00:11:28.88\00:11:32.65 Let God have your life. Let Him use you. 00:11:32.69\00:11:36.09 Let Him be a blessing in your life 00:11:36.12\00:11:39.76 so that you can be a blessing to those around you. 00:11:39.79\00:11:42.73 And I'm just so grateful 00:11:42.76\00:11:44.70 to have this opportunity to share. 00:11:44.73\00:11:47.54 I'm so grateful that my husband understands 00:11:47.57\00:11:50.34 and that he's willing to be right here with me 00:11:50.37\00:11:54.01 sharing this message of hope, 00:11:54.04\00:11:57.45 of restoration, of a brighter future. 00:11:57.48\00:12:02.82 I look forward to many years with this blessing 00:12:02.85\00:12:05.62 that God has given me in Danny Wells. 00:12:05.65\00:12:09.12 And I'm praying that whatever it is 00:12:09.16\00:12:11.43 that you're holding on to in your life 00:12:11.46\00:12:13.23 that's not a blessing to you, 00:12:13.26\00:12:15.06 that you will let it go and let God have it 00:12:15.10\00:12:18.43 and be a blessing to someone else, to yourself. 00:12:18.47\00:12:22.64 I've learned it, 00:12:22.67\00:12:24.01 I cannot help anyone if I'm not helping myself. 00:12:24.04\00:12:28.04 You know the story about the oxygen mask 00:12:28.08\00:12:32.01 on the plane. 00:12:32.05\00:12:33.68 If I don't inhale that oxygen, I will die. 00:12:33.72\00:12:38.69 And if we don't inhale the blessings 00:12:38.72\00:12:41.19 that God has for us, 00:12:41.22\00:12:43.26 we will die spiritually, physically, and emotionally, 00:12:43.29\00:12:47.93 and we can't give that to anyone else. 00:12:47.96\00:12:50.57 You can't be in a healthy relationship 00:12:50.60\00:12:53.47 if you're not healthy in a relationship 00:12:53.50\00:12:56.00 with yourself. 00:12:56.04\00:12:57.41 You have to take care of yourself. 00:12:57.44\00:13:00.21 And I just praise God 00:13:00.24\00:13:01.58 that He's given me this life partner to do that 00:13:01.61\00:13:05.55 and to share this story, 00:13:05.58\00:13:07.02 to give me the courage 00:13:07.05\00:13:08.55 to share this story with you today. 00:13:08.58\00:13:12.15 Sweetie, I just want you to know 00:13:12.19\00:13:13.66 how proud I am of you. 00:13:13.69\00:13:15.89 I know, I was upset a little bit 00:13:15.92\00:13:17.99 when you first told me 00:13:18.03\00:13:19.36 and I had to think about it and realize 00:13:19.39\00:13:21.96 how difficult it must have been to have those feelings 00:13:22.00\00:13:26.07 and have those experiences and try to understand 00:13:26.10\00:13:28.10 how to share that with somebody else. 00:13:28.14\00:13:30.81 I know my life hadn't always been perfect, 00:13:30.84\00:13:33.17 never has been really but Christ made me complete. 00:13:33.21\00:13:38.51 And He made me the person 00:13:38.55\00:13:40.08 that can love you unconditionally. 00:13:40.12\00:13:42.48 That could take time to understand 00:13:42.52\00:13:45.09 the importance of just sharing your life 00:13:45.12\00:13:50.73 with someone unconditionally. 00:13:50.76\00:13:52.46 And I want people out there listening to know 00:13:52.49\00:13:55.33 that there's always going to be times 00:13:55.36\00:13:57.37 when you will have things 00:13:57.40\00:13:58.93 that you want to share with someone else 00:13:58.97\00:14:01.24 and may not be able to say it 00:14:01.27\00:14:03.00 in a way that you want to say it 00:14:03.04\00:14:04.37 or have the words that will explain 00:14:04.41\00:14:07.74 how you want them to know how you feel. 00:14:07.78\00:14:11.01 But there is a person 00:14:11.05\00:14:13.48 that who made my life complete and my wife's life complete 00:14:13.52\00:14:17.55 that can give you that hope, 00:14:17.59\00:14:19.45 that will give you the peace 00:14:19.49\00:14:21.86 and the contentment to move forward, 00:14:21.89\00:14:25.46 to be restored. 00:14:25.49\00:14:27.26 And I thank God 00:14:27.30\00:14:28.63 that we had this opportunity to be on this program 00:14:28.66\00:14:32.80 to share Emily's story and my story, 00:14:32.83\00:14:36.00 so you can know that there is Life After Choice. 00:14:36.04\00:14:41.01