Hi, I was blinded by pride in my life and that pride 00:00:02.10\00:00:06.67 led me to take a plan B after the fact contraceptive. 00:00:06.70\00:00:11.41 I'd like to share with you how God restored and redeemed 00:00:11.44\00:00:13.84 my life though on "Life After Choice." 00:00:13.88\00:00:16.11 I'm Abby and thank you so much for joining us 00:00:32.33\00:00:35.03 on Life After Choice. 00:00:35.06\00:00:36.40 I was 18, I had just finished my first year of college, 00:00:36.43\00:00:40.70 I was joining the military, I had my own plans. 00:00:40.74\00:00:43.64 I didn't care about anything that God had planned for me 00:00:43.67\00:00:46.64 because I was pretty indignant to the idea that He had some 00:00:46.68\00:00:49.28 grand plan for my life. I felt like He was very distant 00:00:49.31\00:00:52.08 and didn't really care bout what I was doing. 00:00:52.11\00:00:53.92 Well thankfully even though I was blinded by my pride 00:00:53.95\00:00:58.69 and blind to the chaos that was going on in my life 00:00:58.72\00:01:01.82 realistically, the gentleman that I started dating 00:01:01.86\00:01:05.09 my now husband. He was much more humble and looked at life 00:01:05.13\00:01:09.00 much more realistically. He was in the process of trying to 00:01:09.03\00:01:12.93 build his relationship with God, he was looking for a church 00:01:12.97\00:01:16.24 to help him foster that relationship... 00:01:16.27\00:01:17.94 So when we started dating, it was really difficult for 00:01:17.97\00:01:23.04 me to think about how he was trying to build this 00:01:23.08\00:01:26.35 relationship with God when I hadn't really cared about 00:01:26.38\00:01:28.35 one at all. Regardless from our different perceptions 00:01:28.38\00:01:33.89 we really just fell in love with each other. 00:01:33.92\00:01:37.63 Even though he was in church and trying to do the right thing, 00:01:37.66\00:01:40.93 we really got wrapped up in this worldly sense of 00:01:40.96\00:01:43.67 falling in love...Got busy of thinking what we wanted, 00:01:43.70\00:01:47.60 my plans and his plans. Well our foolish plans met the 00:01:47.64\00:01:54.51 consequences and the reality of our choice when we found 00:01:54.54\00:01:57.98 out that we could be pregnant. So being terrified of the idea 00:01:58.01\00:02:02.62 of becoming a mom, I talked to him about my fears and I took 00:02:02.65\00:02:06.62 Plan B Contraceptive pill. Now this is a pill that I took 00:02:06.65\00:02:10.83 after the fact that I thought the pregnancy might have been 00:02:10.86\00:02:14.93 successful. Well, I thought I had it under control, 00:02:14.96\00:02:19.03 I had my plans, I wasn't concerned about what God's were 00:02:19.07\00:02:22.34 and this was my way of taking care of things to make sure 00:02:22.37\00:02:25.47 that my life could go just the way that I had planned it. 00:02:25.51\00:02:28.84 Well, I praise God that He had a different plan 00:02:28.88\00:02:31.71 because we ended up still being pregnant, 00:02:31.75\00:02:33.88 and the pregnancy was very successful and about two weeks 00:02:33.92\00:02:38.09 later we found out that we were going to be parents 00:02:38.12\00:02:39.89 in nine months. It totally floored me, I was terrified, 00:02:39.92\00:02:44.16 the idea of just becoming this mom, being in charge of another 00:02:44.19\00:02:48.73 person's life, it was terrifying. 00:02:48.76\00:02:50.53 But my husband on the other hand, we had only been dating 00:02:50.57\00:02:54.20 for three months at that time, he was really excited, 00:02:54.24\00:02:56.81 he wanted to become a dad and he just really really wanted 00:02:56.84\00:03:00.24 to take this opportunity and even though it wasn't the best 00:03:00.28\00:03:03.38 start to things, he really wanted to move forward with it 00:03:03.41\00:03:05.95 and try to build a family with us. 00:03:05.98\00:03:08.25 So even though it was a little bit chaotic there at the 00:03:08.28\00:03:12.85 beginning, we tried to move forward in doing 00:03:12.89\00:03:15.89 the right thing. We had no idea what we were doing. 00:03:15.92\00:03:17.69 I still wasn't going to commit my life to the Lord, 00:03:17.73\00:03:20.13 I was more concerned about how I was going to take care of this 00:03:20.16\00:03:23.47 and even though I was on this team with my husband, 00:03:23.50\00:03:27.30 we had a plan, but it was our plan, it wasn't God's plan. 00:03:27.34\00:03:31.94 So our next step, we thought well, if we are going to 00:03:31.97\00:03:36.11 build this family together and if we are going to become 00:03:36.14\00:03:38.41 parents, what is it going to look like? 00:03:38.45\00:03:40.32 Ashamed of becoming pregnant, not married, 00:03:40.35\00:03:43.92 just three months into a relationship, we stopped 00:03:43.95\00:03:45.82 going to church together. 00:03:45.85\00:03:47.19 We really isolated ourselves from any kind of positive 00:03:47.22\00:03:50.16 influence, we did tell out families but the initial shock 00:03:50.19\00:03:53.80 was really more damaging than it was helpful to us for them. 00:03:53.83\00:03:57.13 So in that chaos and in the midst of all that craziness, 00:03:57.17\00:04:01.80 we just kind of pushed ourselves away from everybody else 00:04:01.84\00:04:04.77 and we were very very alone. But I praise God that He had 00:04:04.81\00:04:08.41 a plan the whole time and His timing was perfect. 00:04:08.44\00:04:11.21 Cause we had made a friend over at our church that really 00:04:11.25\00:04:15.52 we'd only been going to for a couple of months 00:04:15.55\00:04:17.49 and this friend was so concerned about us that we hadn't 00:04:17.52\00:04:20.12 been coming back to church, we were ignoring his calls 00:04:20.16\00:04:23.16 repetitively that one evening my husband got home from work, 00:04:23.19\00:04:28.30 he just showed up at the door and he said hey, 00:04:28.33\00:04:31.00 what's going on, why aren't you guys here? 00:04:31.03\00:04:33.27 You guys are this really sweet couple young couple 00:04:33.30\00:04:35.67 you should really be in church, we want you there. 00:04:35.70\00:04:38.37 So my husband he explained everything to him and how we 00:04:38.41\00:04:41.94 were so ashamed and embarrassed and we didn't know 00:04:41.98\00:04:43.98 what we were going to do, we wanted to stay committed 00:04:44.01\00:04:45.98 to each other but we didn't really know how to move forward 00:04:46.01\00:04:48.95 to build a true family. 00:04:48.98\00:04:51.25 So we tried to do our best and he reminded us of that 00:04:51.29\00:04:56.52 wonderful verse in Luke that tells us that Jesus came 00:04:56.56\00:04:59.33 not to save the righteous but help the broken and to help 00:04:59.36\00:05:03.40 those that are lost. 00:05:03.43\00:05:04.77 So we moved forward and we went back to church, 00:05:04.80\00:05:08.07 we were met with so much love and so much support. 00:05:08.10\00:05:11.14 Those next few months as I became more and more pregnant 00:05:11.17\00:05:14.81 and the reality of this life growing inside of me became 00:05:14.84\00:05:17.45 more and more real, we decided that we really needed to get 00:05:17.48\00:05:21.05 serious about our relationship with God, 00:05:21.08\00:05:23.08 our relationship with each other so we were baptized 00:05:23.12\00:05:26.79 when I was five months pregnant and we got baptized together 00:05:26.82\00:05:31.63 and we committed our lives to the Lord. 00:05:31.66\00:05:33.19 Didn't really know what that would look like, 00:05:33.23\00:05:35.20 didn't really know what it meant but we really just wanted 00:05:35.23\00:05:38.30 to set this foundation for our family because we knew that we 00:05:38.33\00:05:40.97 couldn't do it without God's help. 00:05:41.00\00:05:42.40 Just a few months after that, we moved forward with 00:05:42.44\00:05:46.31 marriage plans despite everyone's advice not to 00:05:46.34\00:05:49.71 because we were rushing into things and it was scary and fast 00:05:49.74\00:05:53.35 and they didn't want us to get married just because 00:05:53.38\00:05:55.45 we were pregnant but we really felt like it was the right thing 00:05:55.48\00:05:58.82 to do and that we were truly committed to each other 00:05:58.85\00:06:01.12 no matter what. So we got married and we built this 00:06:01.16\00:06:06.39 foundation for our little baby who was born 00:06:06.43\00:06:08.83 and when she was born, it was just every day we had to 00:06:08.86\00:06:13.54 completely give ourselves to Christ and surrender our lives 00:06:13.57\00:06:16.91 to Him in every way because we had to rely on Him that way. 00:06:16.94\00:06:19.84 When she was so tiny, it was incredible. 00:06:19.87\00:06:24.41 When you become it's so exciting and I kind of just lost 00:06:24.45\00:06:29.48 sight of the rough beginning because things were so 00:06:29.52\00:06:33.02 beautiful, God was truly blessing us. 00:06:33.05\00:06:34.56 He really held true to His promise that He will provide 00:06:34.59\00:06:38.39 for all of our needs and that He knows the desires of our 00:06:38.43\00:06:41.86 hearts. He gave us a home to live in, He gave us a miraculous 00:06:41.90\00:06:46.87 way for me to stay in school. He gave my husband a good job 00:06:46.90\00:06:50.81 and He supplied for absolutely all of our needs, emotional, 00:06:50.84\00:06:53.98 physical and monetary. Lost in this wonderfulness of becoming 00:06:54.01\00:06:59.51 a family and trying to live our lives for the Lord 00:06:59.55\00:07:02.02 we just really took the time to grow together. 00:07:02.05\00:07:05.29 So by the time my daughter turned nine months old, 00:07:05.32\00:07:09.36 I had really been praying about ways that I could serve 00:07:09.39\00:07:12.59 in the church and the Holy Spirit impressed upon me 00:07:12.63\00:07:15.90 that I needed to focus on a ministry that would talk about 00:07:15.93\00:07:20.94 abortion and the value of life, helping people find alternatives 00:07:20.97\00:07:26.61 because I really identified with the fear that people feel 00:07:26.64\00:07:29.64 when you feel like everything in your life is crumbling 00:07:29.68\00:07:33.18 and you just want to fix it. You just want to move forward 00:07:33.21\00:07:35.88 with your plans. I really really identified with that. 00:07:35.92\00:07:38.75 My husband completely supported me and he said well 00:07:38.79\00:07:41.52 why don't you ask our pastor about it? 00:07:41.56\00:07:43.46 We'd just gotten a new pastor and we thought well let's 00:07:43.49\00:07:45.56 really try to get involved and why don't you just ask him? 00:07:45.59\00:07:48.33 So I turned in a connection card, just a little note 00:07:48.36\00:07:52.83 at the end of service telling our pastor what I wanted to do.. 00:07:52.87\00:07:56.00 I had no idea what God was doing, where He was leading it. 00:07:56.04\00:07:59.54 Well the next steps, we were looking into what the church 00:07:59.57\00:08:03.41 had to offer and what our local community had to offer 00:08:03.45\00:08:06.21 and several denominations within our city outside of the 00:08:06.25\00:08:10.49 SDA church, they had programs built for this and they had 00:08:10.52\00:08:15.59 Crisis Pregnancy Centers for people. 00:08:15.62\00:08:17.76 So I really wanted to glean from these people's ideas 00:08:17.79\00:08:20.46 and my pride kind of crept in again and I looked at it 00:08:20.50\00:08:24.83 like, well I just want to take these people's ideas and 00:08:24.87\00:08:28.04 I want to build something for the Adventist Church. 00:08:28.07\00:08:30.91 That was kind of my mentality there at the beginning. 00:08:30.94\00:08:33.41 Well one program that we found was the Rachel's Vineyard 00:08:33.44\00:08:36.51 Program and thankfully my pastor was in a position that he really 00:08:36.54\00:08:40.52 wanted to go with me to this retreat. 00:08:40.55\00:08:42.48 It was a weekend retreat where we focused with a 00:08:42.52\00:08:47.12 post abortive men and women on the healing that God has 00:08:47.16\00:08:50.36 to offer. The forgiveness that is truly there that Satan 00:08:50.39\00:08:53.66 likes to try to pull from our minds and make us think that 00:08:53.70\00:08:57.77 we're not good enough or that we could possibly do something 00:08:57.80\00:09:01.47 that could not earn Christ's forgiveness. 00:09:01.50\00:09:04.01 This retreat focused on the power of the cross 00:09:04.04\00:09:07.21 and what Jesus did for us there and the hope and the healing 00:09:07.24\00:09:10.61 that can come from accepting His gift to us. 00:09:10.65\00:09:13.01 At this retreat, one of the scripture stories that we 00:09:13.05\00:09:18.69 focused on was the story of the woman caught in adultery 00:09:18.72\00:09:22.29 and when I was looking over the notes before we 00:09:22.32\00:09:26.19 even went to the retreat, I thought to myself, 00:09:26.23\00:09:28.76 okay, I really need to focus on something for myself 00:09:28.80\00:09:32.33 for healing on this retreat because we are going to be 00:09:32.37\00:09:34.17 surrounded by these people who had suffered great loss 00:09:34.20\00:09:37.47 in their life and I read it to my husband and told him, 00:09:37.51\00:09:40.08 we're going to be going over all of these Bible Stories 00:09:40.11\00:09:42.38 and I really want to focus on something I can 00:09:42.41\00:09:44.65 help me, something that I can work on while I'm here. 00:09:44.68\00:09:47.38 Him being the more realistic one, he looked at me completely 00:09:47.42\00:09:51.69 honestly and said, well, you tried to get rid of her, 00:09:51.72\00:09:54.99 speaking about our daughter... We did try that... 00:09:55.02\00:09:58.63 We could have had the abortion in the form of that Plan B pill, 00:09:58.66\00:10:03.37 we did reject life and that floored me, it was just 00:10:03.40\00:10:08.90 this reality that everything wasn't perfect, 00:10:08.94\00:10:12.17 I still had this pain that I was dealing with 00:10:12.21\00:10:14.54 that I wanted to cover up with a Band-Aid and race past it 00:10:14.58\00:10:18.61 pretend like, oh no, that's all good, that's all left 00:10:18.65\00:10:20.75 in the past...But it was still there and still had to deal with 00:10:20.78\00:10:23.99 that. So that's what I focused on on the retreat. 00:10:24.02\00:10:27.59 When we got to the story, that story of the woman caught 00:10:27.62\00:10:31.33 in adultery and everyone was surrounding her 00:10:31.36\00:10:35.66 everyone was looking at her and judging her 00:10:35.70\00:10:37.97 and Jesus was there writing their sins in the dust. 00:10:38.00\00:10:40.97 He said where are your accusers? after they had all left 00:10:41.00\00:10:47.04 and He said I don't condemn you either, neither do I condemn 00:10:47.08\00:10:51.08 you. They're not here to condemn you, neither will I. 00:10:51.11\00:10:53.31 That really struck a chord in my heart and made me realize 00:10:53.35\00:10:57.59 the true character of God and and who He really is to us 00:10:57.62\00:11:00.86 and how He views us as His children, that He absolutely 00:11:00.89\00:11:04.56 loves us. I was just so thankful for that retreat and 00:11:04.59\00:11:10.27 for the new view of God it had given me. 00:11:10.30\00:11:12.33 This relationship that I could build upon, this reality 00:11:12.37\00:11:16.44 of who God was and how much His love really impacted me, 00:11:16.47\00:11:21.74 I was so thankful. Coming back from that retreat, 00:11:21.78\00:11:25.48 my life was completely changed, I came back a new person. 00:11:25.51\00:11:28.35 My husband was so excited to see me have this new energy 00:11:28.38\00:11:31.79 and the next level of fire for the Lord. 00:11:31.82\00:11:35.36 I was absolutely in love and head over heels for what He had 00:11:35.39\00:11:40.73 done for me. So moving forward when I thought about 00:11:40.76\00:11:45.40 well what's next? I have this new life, this redemption 00:11:45.43\00:11:49.44 in my life, what am I supposed to do with it? 00:11:49.47\00:11:52.87 Well the Lord made it really obvious, I needed to focus 00:11:52.91\00:11:56.38 on the value of human life because when I looked around me, 00:11:56.41\00:11:59.41 it creeps into every aspect, it's not just abortion 00:11:59.45\00:12:03.69 it's not just contraceptives, it's just about how we view 00:12:03.72\00:12:09.42 human life. Do we view each other the way God views us? 00:12:09.46\00:12:12.86 When we start looking at each other like that, 00:12:12.89\00:12:15.86 then we can see how precious this human life is, 00:12:15.90\00:12:19.03 and all of these children and all of the human beings 00:12:19.07\00:12:24.04 that are on this planet, how precious they are to the Lord. 00:12:24.07\00:12:27.01 Looking at life a little bit differently in that way, 00:12:27.04\00:12:30.91 viewing people as true precious children of God. 00:12:30.95\00:12:33.68 I started looking around wondering who else was in pain, 00:12:33.72\00:12:36.99 who else was suffering with this weight on their shoulders 00:12:37.02\00:12:40.92 that they felt like they could never be forgiven, 00:12:40.96\00:12:43.56 that they had done the unthinkable, that they were 00:12:43.59\00:12:46.96 just keep punishing themselves over and over and over again 00:12:47.00\00:12:50.03 by walking back through those thoughts. 00:12:50.07\00:12:51.67 They didn't have to look far. Just within our own church 00:12:51.70\00:12:55.37 there are several people who needed that healing. 00:12:55.40\00:12:57.24 God provided avenues that we could start our own ministry 00:12:57.27\00:13:01.24 within that church and it has just grown and grown and grown. 00:13:01.28\00:13:04.65 It has been an incredible journey to see what God has done 00:13:04.68\00:13:08.78 and I am just so thankful that we could have the opportunity 00:13:08.82\00:13:13.29 to help people. I think some- times we get lost in the idea 00:13:13.32\00:13:17.69 of helping other people and forget that we're broken people 00:13:17.73\00:13:20.70 too and we're as individuals we have broken hearts 00:13:20.73\00:13:24.73 and we have to address that before we can help others. 00:13:24.77\00:13:28.27 We have to put that pride aside and let God's plan 00:13:28.30\00:13:31.57 come in. We really have to put Him first. 00:13:31.61\00:13:34.54 My overall take away when I reflect on what God has done 00:13:34.58\00:13:39.78 in my life and how He has been there for me the whole time 00:13:39.81\00:13:43.82 pursued me relentlessly. I really just look around me 00:13:43.85\00:13:50.06 and see how He has provided for all of my needs, 00:13:50.09\00:13:53.86 how He's always been there for me, how even before I was 00:13:53.90\00:13:58.73 pregnant, He was there for me too. I was just to prideful 00:13:58.77\00:14:02.14 and to blind to see it. 00:14:02.17\00:14:03.51 The closer that I got to becoming a mom, 00:14:03.54\00:14:07.94 the more real it got and every day since 00:14:07.98\00:14:10.45 I just get a little bit closer to Him and I am so thankful 00:14:10.48\00:14:13.15 for it. I praise the Lord for what He has done in my life 00:14:13.18\00:14:16.58 and I know that He can do the same work in yours. 00:14:16.62\00:14:18.75 So implore you to submit your self to God to put His plan 00:14:18.79\00:14:22.62 first because His is a lot better than anything 00:14:22.66\00:14:25.29 that you could come up with. 00:14:25.33\00:14:26.66