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>> Welcome to It Is Written
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Canada.
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Thank you for joining us.
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You have probably noticed
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that the human heart is
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naturally defensive.
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We are quick to defend
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and deflect responsibility
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for things that have
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gone wrong in our lives,
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even when we have played a major
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role and made unhealthy or
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destructive decisions.
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>> There is a freedom that comes
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from honestly acknowledging and
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owning our words and behaviour
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that have caused pain and the
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breakdown of relationships
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either with God
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or with those we love.
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Honest accountability
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is the path to healing.
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>> We cannot heal or change
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what we do not
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acknowledge.
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Relationships are
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put back on
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a solid foundation
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only when we are willing to be
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accountable for our part
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in any breakdown.
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>> Today on It Is Written
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Canada, our special guest is
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Pastor Bill Spangler,
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who has led churches in the
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maritime provinces,
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British Columbia and Alberta,
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retiring from ministry
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in 2020.
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He has a bachelor's of theology,
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a master's of divinity degree
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and is trained and is certified
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as a family mediator
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and life coach.
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[MIKE] Bill is married to Gwen
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Yaceyko and they are parents
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to two daughters and enjoy
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two grandchildren.
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Bill is the author of the book,
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Lessons From
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the Wilderness,
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a catalog of life lessons
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that are useful to anyone
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seeking personal growth
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and skills for making
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relationships work.
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>> Bill, welcome to
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It Is Written Canada.
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>> It's so nice to be here.
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I know you guys from a long time
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ago and it's nice to be here
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where you work.
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>> Bill, you wrote a book,
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Lessons From the Wilderness:
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Find Your Way Home and
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Finish Well.
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In the book, there's a chapter
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where you talk about a
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3 a.m. phone call
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and a conversation that you had,
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and it was regarding
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accountability, which we're
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talking about.
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Tell us about that conversation.
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>> Yeah, the book is all about
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lessons that I've learned
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in life and...
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And so it was a dark time in my
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life where I was struggling with
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regrets and feeling-
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beating up on myself a lot.
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And I remembered a friend who
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said, "Hey, if you ever need to
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talk to somebody, call me
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day or night, I'm available."
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And I remember a statement that
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I read somewhere, it was about a
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guy who said, "Any man can find
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six guys to carry his casket,
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but how many men have somebody
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that they can call
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at 3:00 in the morning?
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And I was thinking about that,
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and I thought of him, so I
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dialed his number.
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And he didn't answer.
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And so that worried me.
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Like, oh, boy...
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And then he called me back
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and he just said, "You just woke
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me up and I wanted to orient
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myself before I called you.
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So what's up?"
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And I said, "Well, you told me I
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could call anytime and so
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here I am," and...
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And he knew what I was
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struggling with and so it wasn't
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that I had to explain that, but
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I just began to ramble along
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with him and tell him about
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what I was feeling and- but more
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than that, I had a burden
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somehow to explain to him that I
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really wasn't this bad guy
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that I was sure everybody was
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thinking about me.
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And I...
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...began to explain myself and
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excuse myself and
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wanted to put myself in the best
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light with him that I
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possibly could.
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And so he listened.
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He was great.
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He was a good listener.
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And...
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But it was all about me
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feeling better about myself.
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Me trying to...
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...talk myself into a
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better place.
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And finally he said,
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when I slowed down and gave him
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a chance to talk, he said...
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"...I've learned in life two
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things that I've never
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forgotten, and that is
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don't explain
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and don't complain."
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And I listened to that and I
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thought, "Don't explain
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and don't complain.
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What are you really saying?"
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And so he began to talk about
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his life and why those
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two words were important to him.
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And- but as he was talking,
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I began to hear
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what he was saying and it was
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having an impact on me and on my
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own thinking.
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And so he began to unpack
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both those words.
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"Don't explain."
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And he said, "Bill, whenever we
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get into situations that we're
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not comfortable with, our go-to
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place is to explain ourselves
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and we don't...
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...we don't talk about
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what it is that we've done
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as much as
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why it's okay what we did.
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We're actually trying to
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excuse ourselves.
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Explaining is excusing.
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So if I start to explain to
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somebody, I'm actually finding a
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way to make myself look better
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or feel better or...
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But I'm taking the spotlight off
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the crux of the story itself.
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"Don't explain," he said.
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So I realized, "What I've just
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done with you for these last few
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minutes is exactly that.
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I've been explaining,
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explaining, and explaining."
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And then he said, "It's actually
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not honouring to yourself
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to explain away
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your story or whatever it is
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that you're talking about.
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It's not honouring to you.
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You're not facing, you're not
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responsible, you're not
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accountable for what's
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happening, you're just
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making excuses.
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And basically explaining
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is excusing.
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So then he went to the other
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word, "And don't complain."
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He said, "When you start
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complaining about
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the situation, whatever it might
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be, when you started complaining
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about it, you're basically
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blaming other people.
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You're putting them-
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"You don't trust me, you don't
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accept me.
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You are the problem.
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You're the one who I need to
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explain all this stuff to.
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If it wasn't for you, if it
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wasn't for your
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thoughts, your
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view of me, I wouldn't have to
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be explaining.
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So you're actually the problem.
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I'm complaining about you."
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So it's not honouring to you
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when I complain.
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It's not honouring to me
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when I explain.
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And those two words
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resonate to this day.
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That phone call was
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24 years ago.
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And I still think about
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that call.
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I still think about those
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I still think about those
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two words.
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And when I get into any
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situation of any kind
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that leads me to want to start
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going down one of those two
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roads, I think, "Don't explain
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roads, I think, "Don't explain
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and don't complain."
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What it did for me was
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it helped me, it actually gave
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me a freedom, even before I got
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off that phone call.
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I could feel myself breathing
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differently.
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I could just...
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It was sort of like... [exhales]
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This is a better place to be in
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rather than to be over here
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or over here.
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Just sit in the middle of this
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story and say,
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"Yeah, it's not about
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me looking better, it's not
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about you being the problem,
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it's about me being honest."
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So it was...
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...amazingly
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freeing for me,
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but it also gave me a talking
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point for others as I have
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journeyed through life in the
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last 24 years.
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I don't know how many times I've
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said to somebody, "Yeah, I
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learned this lesson long ago.
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Don't explain
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and don't complain.
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Here's the problem with
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explaining or complaining."
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And then I'll ask them openly,
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"Are you explaining or
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complaining here?
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You know, let's talk about that,
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because it was freeing for me
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when I recognized
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the difference.
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I think it could be freeing
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for you, too."
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That phone call at 3 a.m.
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was life changing actually.
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And it's helped me to become
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very honest with my own heart
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and live in a place of honesty
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and accountability.
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>> So, Bill, what is
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accountability?
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>> What is accountability?
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Good question.
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Accountability is ownership
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of either...
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...anything that I did
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or anything that I said.
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It's ownership rather than
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deflecting, rather than
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defending, rather than excusing.
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It's just simply,
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"I did that,"
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or "I said that,"
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or "I made that happen."
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My choices, my actions...
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...this is the result.
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>> Mmm, I think of
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an accountant, the word,
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"accountability."
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So an accountant's looking at
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your records and sees the
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ledger, but in this case...
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...I can't see into your heart,
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but I can see your actions.
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And so I'm saying,
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"Did you do this?"
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And when you say, "Yes, I did,"
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then you're actually saying,
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"Hey, I take responsibility,
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I take ownership for it."
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Yeah...yeah.
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[BILL] That reminds me of a
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time back in grade nine,
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and it was a big class.
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It was the first time I was in a
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big class, just all grade nines.
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And the teacher was coming by to
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pick up the homework for the day
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and the guy across from me,
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I hadn't completed all of my
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homework, but I handed it in and
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she asked for his and he said,
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"I didn't do it."
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He wasn't being...
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...belligerent or anything, he
00:11:19.51\00:11:20.51
just, "I didn't do it."
00:11:20.51\00:11:22.58
And...
00:11:22.58\00:11:23.58
...there was nothing she
00:11:24.68\00:11:25.58
could say.
00:11:25.58\00:11:26.51
She had no followup questions,
00:11:26.51\00:11:28.52
she didn't say, "Well, were you
00:11:28.52\00:11:30.79
watching TV or were you
00:11:30.79\00:11:33.02
doing something else?"
00:11:33.02\00:11:34.76
She just- "I didn't do it."
00:11:34.76\00:11:36.52
And I've never forgot that.
00:11:37.46\00:11:38.76
It's like there's no place to go
00:11:38.76\00:11:40.86
with that except, "Okay, well,
00:11:40.86\00:11:42.26
now let's deal with the fact
00:11:42.26\00:11:43.40
that the homework isn't done."
00:11:43.40\00:11:44.83
There's no talking around it.
00:11:44.83\00:11:47.04
There's no making excuses.
00:11:47.04\00:11:49.47
It's just, "I didn't do it."
00:11:49.47\00:11:51.37
And there's something freeing
00:11:51.37\00:11:54.28
about that.
00:11:54.28\00:11:55.28
>> Mmm, I mean, he could have
00:11:55.28\00:11:56.58
said, "Hey, I had other
00:11:56.58\00:11:57.81
things to do.
00:11:57.81\00:11:58.65
My dad wanted me to do this, my
00:11:58.65\00:12:00.15
mom wanted me to do this.
00:12:00.15\00:12:01.35
The dog ate my homework.
00:12:01.35\00:12:02.48
I actually did it, but..."
00:12:02.48\00:12:03.69
[BILL] "...I dropped it in a mud
00:12:03.69\00:12:04.65
puddle on the way to school."
00:12:04.65\00:12:05.79
[MIKE] Yeah. [chuckles]
00:12:05.79\00:12:07.19
>> But he was just honest.
00:12:07.62\00:12:09.22
He said...
00:12:09.22\00:12:09.99
[BILL] He was just honest.
00:12:09.99\00:12:10.89
[RENÉ] "...I didn't do it."
00:12:10.89\00:12:11.83
>> That's what's so beautiful
00:12:11.83\00:12:13.03
about accountability.
00:12:13.03\00:12:14.10
And that's why I like talking
00:12:14.10\00:12:16.46
about it, because there's a
00:12:16.46\00:12:18.53
freedom in accountability.
00:12:18.53\00:12:21.00
We think that accountability
00:12:21.00\00:12:22.30
will get us into trouble.
00:12:22.30\00:12:23.71
I just thought of another story.
00:12:24.74\00:12:26.14
A friend told me that he had to
00:12:26.14\00:12:28.71
go to court for something.
00:12:28.71\00:12:29.91
It was a misdemeanour,
00:12:29.91\00:12:31.58
a traffic fine,
00:12:31.58\00:12:33.05
something simple.
00:12:33.05\00:12:35.48
And he went to court and he
00:12:35.48\00:12:36.99
said, "Yeah, I'm guilty.
00:12:36.99\00:12:40.02
Where do I pay?"
00:12:40.02\00:12:41.19
And the judge said,
00:12:41.19\00:12:43.22
"Would you like to
00:12:43.22\00:12:45.23
get a lawyer?"
00:12:45.23\00:12:46.46
And it must have been more than
00:12:47.40\00:12:49.16
a traffic fine for him to ask
00:12:49.16\00:12:50.27
that, but, "Would you like to
00:12:50.27\00:12:51.20
get a lawyer?" and...
00:12:51.20\00:12:52.40
"No, I did this, I-
00:12:53.37\00:12:56.27
where do I pay?"
00:12:56.27\00:12:57.77
"Are you sure you don't want
00:12:57.77\00:13:00.38
a lawyer?"
00:13:00.38\00:13:01.64
"Uh...no.
00:13:01.64\00:13:02.98
There is no need for a lawyer.
00:13:02.98\00:13:04.68
I'm guilty.
00:13:04.68\00:13:05.98
Where do I pay?"
00:13:05.98\00:13:07.35
The system couldn't even handle
00:13:08.48\00:13:10.79
his accountability.
00:13:10.79\00:13:12.42
But it was very freeing for him.
00:13:12.42\00:13:13.82
But there's no excuse, there's
00:13:13.82\00:13:14.96
nothing to talk about.
00:13:14.96\00:13:16.76
Here- what do I do now?
00:13:16.76\00:13:18.56
And accountability is just...
00:13:19.49\00:13:21.83
...such a gift if we will own
00:13:23.16\00:13:24.20
...such a gift if we will own
00:13:24.20\00:13:24.93
it, because now we just deal
00:13:24.93\00:13:27.17
with the facts rather than
00:13:27.17\00:13:29.20
all the stuff around the fact
00:13:29.20\00:13:31.87
to deflect.
00:13:31.87\00:13:32.97
>> So, Pastor Bill, why is
00:13:32.97\00:13:35.38
accountability so hard?
00:13:35.38\00:13:37.51
>> I think, René, it's because
00:13:39.35\00:13:42.38
it's the human nature,
00:13:42.38\00:13:44.09
it's the human heart,
00:13:44.09\00:13:45.39
the human condition.
00:13:45.39\00:13:46.79
I mean, just think back to the
00:13:46.79\00:13:47.99
story in Eden...
00:13:47.99\00:13:49.59
...just after Eve and Adam
00:13:50.63\00:13:53.09
had eaten the fruit that God had
00:13:53.09\00:13:54.63
said, don't eat, and now it's
00:13:54.63\00:13:56.63
the first conversation between
00:13:56.63\00:13:58.13
God and Adam and Eve after that.
00:13:58.13\00:13:59.80
There is no time for...
00:14:00.90\00:14:03.00
...sin to take
00:14:04.17\00:14:06.17
its time to build up
00:14:06.17\00:14:07.54
in the heart and do different
00:14:07.54\00:14:08.81
things, it's the first
00:14:08.81\00:14:10.15
conversation.
00:14:10.15\00:14:11.68
And Adam starts with...
00:14:11.68\00:14:13.08
...blaming.
00:14:14.58\00:14:15.85
"Well, God, this woman that You
00:14:15.85\00:14:18.15
gave me..."
00:14:18.15\00:14:19.29
So now he's complaining.
00:14:20.16\00:14:21.72
When I think about explain and
00:14:21.72\00:14:23.02
complain, he's complaining.
00:14:23.02\00:14:24.19
"God, You gave me this woman
00:14:24.19\00:14:25.73
and she did this."
00:14:25.73\00:14:27.03
And then Eve steps in and
00:14:27.93\00:14:30.63
she does the explaining part.
00:14:30.63\00:14:33.54
And she said, "The serpent
00:14:33.54\00:14:35.37
deceived me and
00:14:35.37\00:14:37.11
it wasn't my fault,
00:14:37.11\00:14:38.54
the serpent did this."
00:14:38.54\00:14:40.34
So they're explaining and
00:14:40.34\00:14:41.58
complaining.
00:14:41.58\00:14:42.48
And to me, it's the perfect
00:14:42.48\00:14:44.81
example of the human heart,
00:14:44.81\00:14:47.22
the human condition.
00:14:47.22\00:14:48.65
And when we look at the stories
00:14:48.65\00:14:50.45
of the Bible and then the
00:14:50.45\00:14:51.69
stories in our own lives...
00:14:51.69\00:14:53.46
...accountability is
00:14:54.82\00:14:56.59
such a tough,
00:14:56.59\00:14:58.46
tough place to go
00:14:58.46\00:15:01.10
because the human heart
00:15:01.10\00:15:02.26
wants to be right.
00:15:02.26\00:15:03.37
The human heart wants
00:15:03.37\00:15:04.13
to be perfect.
00:15:04.13\00:15:05.33
The human heart wants to be
00:15:05.33\00:15:06.67
better, does not want
00:15:06.67\00:15:08.44
to acknowledge...
00:15:08.44\00:15:09.67
...brokenness.
00:15:10.74\00:15:12.27
I think that's the main
00:15:12.27\00:15:14.18
reason we find it so hard.
00:15:14.18\00:15:15.34
It's the human condition.
00:15:15.34\00:15:17.98
>> I remember reading a book
00:15:17.98\00:15:19.15
called Extreme Ownership, and it
00:15:19.15\00:15:20.85
was about the Navy Seals and how
00:15:20.85\00:15:22.55
they had to own, you know...
00:15:22.55\00:15:24.82
And that's what builds up a
00:15:24.82\00:15:27.56
team, that's what built up a
00:15:27.56\00:15:29.72
sense of trust
00:15:29.72\00:15:31.56
is when they have- when they
00:15:31.56\00:15:33.80
own it.
00:15:33.80\00:15:34.63
They say, "I'm responsible
00:15:34.63\00:15:36.03
for this.
00:15:36.03\00:15:36.80
I take complete accountability
00:15:36.80\00:15:39.23
for my actions."
00:15:39.23\00:15:40.44
>> Right, I've read that book,
00:15:40.44\00:15:41.74
and I remember one of the
00:15:41.74\00:15:42.84
chapters he talked about the
00:15:42.84\00:15:44.57
fact that somebody out in the
00:15:44.57\00:15:46.71
rank and file had done something
00:15:46.71\00:15:48.68
that caused grief, and he owned
00:15:48.68\00:15:51.18
that, too, because he said,
00:15:51.18\00:15:52.98
"I'm the leader.
00:15:52.98\00:15:54.45
I should have had that guy
00:15:54.45\00:15:56.72
in a better place."
00:15:56.72\00:15:57.92
And that's, I mean, that's why
00:15:57.92\00:16:00.22
it's called extreme ownership.
00:16:00.22\00:16:01.56
[MIKE] Mm-hmm.
00:16:01.56\00:16:02.36
And the respect that he received
00:16:02.36\00:16:04.66
because of that.
00:16:04.66\00:16:05.56
Sometimes it helps us to
00:16:05.56\00:16:06.86
understand what is the opposite
00:16:06.86\00:16:08.76
of something we're talking
00:16:08.76\00:16:09.80
about.
00:16:09.80\00:16:10.37
So what is the opposite of
00:16:10.43\00:16:12.03
accountability?
00:16:12.03\00:16:13.23
>> I think that accounta- the
00:16:14.34\00:16:16.07
opposite of accountability is
00:16:16.07\00:16:18.17
when we move into a place that I
00:16:18.17\00:16:20.81
call victimhood,
00:16:20.81\00:16:22.68
where I, now...
00:16:22.68\00:16:24.48
...I'm the victim
00:16:25.25\00:16:26.48
to this story.
00:16:26.48\00:16:27.42
to this story.
00:16:27.42\00:16:27.68
You didn't,
00:16:27.85\00:16:28.95
or you didn't.
00:16:28.95\00:16:31.02
My wife didn't, my kids didn't.
00:16:31.02\00:16:33.89
Or if my kids would or
00:16:33.89\00:16:36.12
if my boss was different or...
00:16:36.12\00:16:38.16
You know, and it's "poor me,"
00:16:39.39\00:16:41.40
it's a "poor me" story.
00:16:41.40\00:16:42.93
"They didn't treat me fair.
00:16:42.93\00:16:44.40
They betrayed me.
00:16:44.40\00:16:45.50
They did this to me..."
00:16:45.50\00:16:47.67
...rather than to take a look at
00:16:48.70\00:16:50.14
the whole picture and say,
00:16:50.14\00:16:52.64
"What's my role in
00:16:52.64\00:16:53.94
this story?
00:16:53.94\00:16:55.11
What's my part in this story?
00:16:55.11\00:16:57.78
What do I have to fix?"
00:16:57.78\00:16:59.01
I've often talked to couples and
00:16:59.01\00:17:01.92
one person will,
00:17:01.92\00:17:03.45
one of the couple will
00:17:03.45\00:17:05.35
complain about the other person
00:17:05.35\00:17:07.02
or vice versa or whatever.
00:17:07.02\00:17:09.09
And I'll turn to the other
00:17:09.09\00:17:10.26
person and I'll say,
00:17:10.26\00:17:12.29
"So...how do you wanna respond
00:17:12.29\00:17:15.00
to what they just said?"
00:17:15.00\00:17:16.70
And so the response will come,
00:17:16.70\00:17:18.50
and then I'll ask this question,
00:17:18.50\00:17:20.34
"So what if
00:17:20.34\00:17:21.84
5% of what
00:17:21.84\00:17:24.21
she just said is true?
00:17:24.21\00:17:26.01
What are you gonna do
00:17:27.14\00:17:27.84
about the 5%?"
00:17:27.84\00:17:29.24
You know, she's maybe dumped
00:17:30.51\00:17:32.55
90% of stuff,
00:17:32.55\00:17:35.08
but if only 5% of it's true,
00:17:35.08\00:17:37.79
what will you do with the 5%?
00:17:37.79\00:17:40.32
You're accountable for your
00:17:40.32\00:17:42.32
part, whatever that part is.
00:17:42.32\00:17:44.19
And it's-
00:17:44.86\00:17:46.96
accountability can be so
00:17:46.96\00:17:49.36
healing for people
00:17:49.36\00:17:51.03
when they take it on and say,
00:17:51.03\00:17:52.70
"I need to do this differently.
00:17:52.70\00:17:54.64
I need to change."
00:17:55.40\00:17:57.34
So when I say,
00:17:57.34\00:17:59.44
"I acknowledge
00:17:59.44\00:18:00.61
that I said this...
00:18:00.61\00:18:01.98
...but you need to understand
00:18:02.78\00:18:04.65
that you made me angry
00:18:04.65\00:18:06.31
in the first place.
00:18:06.31\00:18:06.98
If you hadn't done what you did,
00:18:06.98\00:18:08.45
if you hadn't said what you
00:18:08.45\00:18:09.62
said, if you hadn't acted in the
00:18:09.62\00:18:10.95
way you had, I wouldn't have
00:18:10.95\00:18:12.59
done this."
00:18:12.59\00:18:13.52
As soon as we put a "but" in it
00:18:13.52\00:18:15.22
and then explain it,
00:18:15.22\00:18:17.29
we cancel everything out.
00:18:17.29\00:18:18.76
So an apology goes like this,
00:18:20.10\00:18:21.76
a good apology goes,
00:18:21.76\00:18:22.90
"I acknowledge that I
00:18:22.90\00:18:25.40
said, did, whatever,"
00:18:25.40\00:18:28.04
and then
00:18:28.04\00:18:29.64
I apologize.
00:18:29.64\00:18:31.41
I acknowledge
00:18:31.41\00:18:32.84
and I apologize.
00:18:32.84\00:18:34.64
And that's where we put
00:18:34.64\00:18:36.44
the period in.
00:18:36.44\00:18:37.85
A big period.
00:18:37.85\00:18:38.81
Like we should even
00:18:38.81\00:18:40.58
look like it's a stop sign.
00:18:40.58\00:18:42.42
Big enough to be a stop-
00:18:42.42\00:18:43.62
"I acknowledge and I apologize,"
00:18:43.62\00:18:45.75
Stop. [claps]
00:18:45.75\00:18:47.22
Because then we're just simply
00:18:47.22\00:18:47.76
Because then we're just simply
00:18:47.89\00:18:50.23
dealing with the truth.
00:18:50.23\00:18:51.59
And if we really want to follow
00:18:53.09\00:18:54.83
on and make it complete,
00:18:54.83\00:18:57.27
we could offer amends for what
00:18:57.27\00:18:59.20
it is that we just did.
00:18:59.20\00:19:00.77
The reality is, if we offer
00:19:02.90\00:19:04.57
amends, that's- then we can be
00:19:04.57\00:19:07.24
in control of that.
00:19:07.24\00:19:08.28
If we say, how can I make amends
00:19:08.28\00:19:09.98
to you, how to- say to my wife,
00:19:09.98\00:19:12.51
"How can I make amends to you?"
00:19:12.51\00:19:13.72
"Well, a cruise in the
00:19:13.72\00:19:15.12
Caribbean would be good."
00:19:15.12\00:19:16.22
You know? [laughter]
00:19:16.22\00:19:17.32
And then all of a sudden, we're
00:19:17.32\00:19:19.05
into a lot of money
00:19:19.05\00:19:20.32
over this amends thing.
00:19:20.32\00:19:22.39
But I acknowledge,
00:19:22.39\00:19:24.29
I apologize,
00:19:24.29\00:19:25.76
I want to make amends by.
00:19:25.76\00:19:27.56
I acknowledge that I
00:19:28.00\00:19:30.27
completely missed our
00:19:30.27\00:19:31.30
appointment for breakfast this
00:19:31.30\00:19:32.57
morning, and I apologize.
00:19:32.57\00:19:34.97
I wanna make amends to you by
00:19:34.97\00:19:36.47
buying you lunch later on."
00:19:36.47\00:19:38.67
Something that would
00:19:39.44\00:19:41.51
be a statement of sincerity
00:19:41.51\00:19:43.71
in my apology.
00:19:43.71\00:19:45.55
And then I acknowledge,
00:19:45.55\00:19:47.78
I apologize, I make amends by,
00:19:47.78\00:19:50.69
and I commit to.
00:19:50.69\00:19:52.19
If I commit to...
00:19:53.69\00:19:55.09
...doing better, if I commit to
00:19:55.76\00:19:57.63
paying better attention to what
00:19:57.63\00:19:59.36
it is that caused this situation
00:19:59.36\00:20:01.46
in the first place.
00:20:01.46\00:20:02.63
If I commit to...
00:20:03.47\00:20:05.17
...slowing down.
00:20:06.23\00:20:07.44
If I commit to focusing.
00:20:08.47\00:20:11.17
If I commit to whatever it might
00:20:12.07\00:20:13.71
be that's been the challenge
00:20:13.71\00:20:15.54
here, it helps to...
00:20:15.54\00:20:17.75
...heal the brokenness of
00:20:18.65\00:20:19.81
whatever it is that's
00:20:19.81\00:20:20.65
taken place.
00:20:20.65\00:20:21.78
The human heart doesn't wanna
00:20:23.05\00:20:24.32
do those things, but
00:20:24.32\00:20:26.32
by the grace of God, Jesus calls
00:20:26.32\00:20:28.56
us to those kinds of things.
00:20:28.56\00:20:30.56
I think about
00:20:30.56\00:20:32.53
stories in the Bible of people
00:20:32.53\00:20:34.10
who were confronted with things.
00:20:34.10\00:20:37.03
David was confronted by
00:20:37.87\00:20:39.93
Nathan and he said,
00:20:39.93\00:20:42.20
"I have sinned."
00:20:42.20\00:20:43.87
He didn't make excuses
00:20:43.87\00:20:45.74
for what he did.
00:20:45.74\00:20:46.78
Adam and Eve are a good example
00:20:49.51\00:20:50.98
of what not to do.
00:20:50.98\00:20:52.48
David's a good example of
00:20:53.65\00:20:54.75
what to do.
00:20:54.75\00:20:56.28
And then the skills around that
00:20:56.28\00:20:57.92
can go very far in...
00:20:57.92\00:21:00.12
...taking 100% responsibility
00:21:01.39\00:21:03.46
for our side of the street
00:21:03.46\00:21:05.76
and doing what's right.
00:21:05.76\00:21:07.23
>> You talk about the human
00:21:08.20\00:21:09.90
condition, and you said that it
00:21:09.90\00:21:11.40
was selfishness, and that
00:21:11.40\00:21:13.47
selfishness is also
00:21:13.47\00:21:16.04
keeping my identity looking good
00:21:16.04\00:21:18.87
or having a
00:21:18.87\00:21:20.91
good image
00:21:20.91\00:21:22.74
as far as other people are
00:21:22.74\00:21:23.98
concerned.
00:21:23.98\00:21:24.75
That takes a lot of work,
00:21:24.75\00:21:25.88
really, and a lot of energy
00:21:25.88\00:21:28.55
and nervous energy, because you
00:21:28.55\00:21:29.95
don't know what you said to who
00:21:29.95\00:21:31.39
or how you keep...
00:21:31.39\00:21:33.05
And when you go back to
00:21:33.05\00:21:34.06
telling the truth...
00:21:34.06\00:21:35.42
...that's hard, but choose your
00:21:36.09\00:21:38.73
hard, because you wanna choose
00:21:38.73\00:21:40.46
the hard that is honest
00:21:40.46\00:21:42.03
and truthful, or do you wanna
00:21:42.03\00:21:43.77
choose the hard that is keeping
00:21:43.77\00:21:45.73
up an image which really
00:21:45.73\00:21:47.84
doesn't allow you peace of mind
00:21:47.84\00:21:49.74
and peace of heart because it's
00:21:49.74\00:21:50.77
just not honest.
00:21:50.77\00:21:51.71
It's not really who you are.
00:21:51.71\00:21:52.94
>> Exactly.
00:21:52.94\00:21:53.94
I think of the word, "poser."
00:21:53.94\00:21:55.94
It's a word that's come up
00:21:55.94\00:21:57.35
recently.
00:21:57.35\00:21:58.11
I'm posing to be somebody that
00:21:58.11\00:22:00.15
I'm really not.
00:22:00.15\00:22:01.08
I'm wearing a mask.
00:22:01.08\00:22:02.92
So I put on a smiley face and I
00:22:02.92\00:22:05.39
present myself well, when inside
00:22:05.39\00:22:07.32
I'm broken.
00:22:07.32\00:22:09.29
Or I put on a mask that says
00:22:09.29\00:22:11.13
that I'm perfect when
00:22:11.13\00:22:12.59
I've just...
00:22:12.59\00:22:13.66
...said something to my wife
00:22:14.30\00:22:15.50
that's been very damaging.
00:22:15.50\00:22:17.43
And, we put on these masks,
00:22:17.43\00:22:19.50
we're posing.
00:22:19.50\00:22:20.74
And that's hard work.
00:22:20.74\00:22:22.44
It's just simpler to say,
00:22:22.44\00:22:24.74
"I did that.
00:22:24.74\00:22:26.11
I'm guilty.
00:22:26.11\00:22:27.31
I'm responsible."
00:22:27.78\00:22:29.14
>> And you know what, at the
00:22:29.14\00:22:30.18
same time, when we are posing or
00:22:30.18\00:22:32.51
putting on a mask, there's
00:22:32.51\00:22:33.95
really no freedom in that.
00:22:33.95\00:22:35.55
[BILL] There is no freedom
00:22:35.55\00:22:36.72
at all.
00:22:36.72\00:22:37.45
[RENÉ] You know, so...
00:22:37.45\00:22:38.25
>> Because pretty soon we don't
00:22:38.25\00:22:39.15
know who we are anymore.
00:22:39.15\00:22:41.12
We look in the mirror and we
00:22:41.12\00:22:42.06
look at the mask and we think,
00:22:42.06\00:22:43.26
"Well, that's who- I guess
00:22:43.26\00:22:44.63
that's who I am."
00:22:44.63\00:22:45.49
And I'm really not.
00:22:45.49\00:22:46.19
And it's when we
00:22:46.19\00:22:48.03
peel the masks away
00:22:48.03\00:22:50.33
that we really find a sense of
00:22:50.33\00:22:53.34
freedom, peace, joy.
00:22:53.34\00:22:55.60
And I think that's why this
00:22:55.60\00:22:57.41
topic on accountability
00:22:57.41\00:22:59.27
is really important to me.
00:22:59.27\00:23:01.18
It's not just, oh, that's an
00:23:01.18\00:23:02.64
interesting topic.
00:23:02.64\00:23:03.41
It's important because
00:23:03.41\00:23:05.45
people are locked up in
00:23:05.45\00:23:07.35
their stories,
00:23:07.35\00:23:08.92
behind their masks,
00:23:08.92\00:23:10.82
afraid to be real.
00:23:10.82\00:23:13.46
And it's a scary world.
00:23:13.46\00:23:16.12
It's a scary world.
00:23:16.12\00:23:17.53
I have listened to people
00:23:17.53\00:23:20.16
be safe enough to tell their
00:23:20.16\00:23:21.80
story and tell things that they
00:23:21.80\00:23:23.77
haven't said out loud
00:23:23.77\00:23:25.20
for 30 years.
00:23:25.20\00:23:26.84
Maybe they're the only person
00:23:26.84\00:23:28.24
who even knows the story
00:23:28.24\00:23:29.57
happened.
00:23:29.57\00:23:30.87
And I have watched them tell the
00:23:30.87\00:23:33.54
story for the first time to a
00:23:33.54\00:23:35.58
group of people or to somebody,
00:23:35.58\00:23:37.48
and then just melt into tears
00:23:37.48\00:23:39.71
at the freedom of it all.
00:23:39.71\00:23:39.91
at the freedom of it all.
00:23:40.38\00:23:41.25
And the difference is
00:23:41.98\00:23:43.72
incredible.
00:23:43.72\00:23:45.19
That's what accountability does.
00:23:45.19\00:23:47.29
And Jesus just simply wants us
00:23:47.29\00:23:48.36
And Jesus just simply wants us
00:23:48.36\00:23:49.96
to come to Him and say...
00:23:49.96\00:23:51.49
"...I need You.
00:23:52.66\00:23:53.83
I don't have it all together.
00:23:53.83\00:23:56.56
I- I'm broken.
00:23:56.56\00:23:58.00
I- this is me.
00:23:58.00\00:23:59.87
I can't make excuses.
00:23:59.87\00:24:01.20
It's not the serpent, it's not
00:24:01.20\00:24:02.87
my wife that You gave me,
00:24:02.87\00:24:04.14
it's me."
00:24:04.14\00:24:05.61
And that's where God can
00:24:05.61\00:24:07.98
bless us.
00:24:07.98\00:24:09.21
>> That place where people
00:24:09.21\00:24:10.81
can open up like that
00:24:10.81\00:24:12.41
is a place of safety, it's a
00:24:12.41\00:24:13.88
place of love.
00:24:13.88\00:24:14.98
And the Bible says perfect love
00:24:14.98\00:24:16.45
casts out all fear.
00:24:16.45\00:24:17.82
And it's fear that keeps us from
00:24:17.82\00:24:19.62
being accountable.
00:24:19.62\00:24:20.99
Fear of the cost.
00:24:20.99\00:24:22.66
Cost to my image, cost to my
00:24:22.66\00:24:24.76
wallet, cost to my time.
00:24:24.76\00:24:26.59
What is it gonna cost me?
00:24:26.59\00:24:27.83
Cost to my energy.
00:24:27.83\00:24:29.36
But when you tell the truth,
00:24:29.36\00:24:31.57
God gives you the time, He gives
00:24:31.57\00:24:33.07
you the energy, gives you what
00:24:33.07\00:24:34.30
you need to make it right.
00:24:34.30\00:24:36.67
So He's like, "Trust Me.
00:24:36.67\00:24:38.24
Trust me, if you trust Me,
00:24:38.24\00:24:39.91
I'll give you everything you
00:24:39.91\00:24:41.08
need to make this right."
00:24:41.08\00:24:42.98
And, that's a place of love.
00:24:42.98\00:24:44.85
>> Absolutely.
00:24:45.41\00:24:46.78
I have come to the conclusion
00:24:46.78\00:24:48.68
that secrets keep us sick.
00:24:48.68\00:24:50.29
Secrets keep us in a place
00:24:51.99\00:24:54.36
of darkness.
00:24:54.36\00:24:55.66
It's when the secrets are opened
00:24:55.66\00:24:57.63
up that now I have to
00:24:57.63\00:24:59.43
deal with that...
00:24:59.43\00:25:00.56
...but it's better than
00:25:01.50\00:25:02.96
keeping the secrets stuffed down
00:25:02.96\00:25:04.50
inside of me and afraid that you
00:25:04.50\00:25:06.03
might find out, afraid that the
00:25:06.03\00:25:07.44
phone might ring, afraid that
00:25:07.44\00:25:09.37
somebody's going to say
00:25:09.37\00:25:10.67
something, that's going to
00:25:10.67\00:25:12.94
whatever...
00:25:12.94\00:25:14.21
...destroy, hurt...
00:25:15.11\00:25:16.98
...make me accountable when
00:25:18.18\00:25:19.28
I don't wanna be.
00:25:19.28\00:25:20.38
If I can choose accountability,
00:25:20.38\00:25:22.55
it changes everything.
00:25:22.55\00:25:24.02
>> Bill, thanks so much for
00:25:24.42\00:25:25.79
sharing with us.
00:25:25.79\00:25:26.89
We've come to the end of our
00:25:26.89\00:25:28.36
time together.
00:25:28.36\00:25:29.09
I wonder if you could pray.
00:25:29.09\00:25:30.13
Pray for our viewers.
00:25:30.13\00:25:31.19
There might be someone who's
00:25:31.19\00:25:32.13
watching who says, "I really
00:25:32.13\00:25:33.96
need that freedom.
00:25:33.96\00:25:35.86
I need what accountability
00:25:35.86\00:25:37.60
can give me."
00:25:37.60\00:25:38.73
Would you like to pray for them
00:25:38.73\00:25:39.73
right now?
00:25:39.73\00:25:40.40
>> I sure would.
00:25:40.40\00:25:41.17
Dear God in heaven, thank You
00:25:41.17\00:25:42.57
for who You are and thank You
00:25:42.57\00:25:44.11
for Your love to us.
00:25:44.11\00:25:46.04
You know us, You know our
00:25:46.04\00:25:47.31
hearts, You know where we've
00:25:47.31\00:25:48.61
made mistakes.
00:25:48.61\00:25:49.61
But today, many people are
00:25:51.95\00:25:54.68
burdened by the secrets that
00:25:54.68\00:25:56.05
they carry.
00:25:56.05\00:25:57.05
Or by their inability or
00:25:59.09\00:26:00.79
unwillingness to just
00:26:00.79\00:26:02.12
acknowledge and heal
00:26:02.12\00:26:04.23
situations that could be
00:26:04.23\00:26:06.46
taken care of so easily.
00:26:06.46\00:26:08.30
I pray for strength for those
00:26:09.80\00:26:11.33
people.
00:26:11.33\00:26:12.20
Each one of us, all of us as we
00:26:12.20\00:26:14.00
journey, may we be healthy
00:26:14.00\00:26:15.74
before You, may we be honest
00:26:15.74\00:26:17.97
before You and may we enjoy
00:26:17.97\00:26:18.97
before You and may we enjoy
00:26:18.97\00:26:20.04
Your love.
00:26:20.04\00:26:20.81
Thank You.
00:26:20.81\00:26:21.44
In Jesus name, amen.
00:26:21.44\00:26:23.04
[MIKE] Amen.
00:26:23.04\00:26:24.05
[birds chirping]
00:26:24.05\00:26:26.88
[gentle piano music playing]
00:26:28.58\00:26:31.55
¤¤
00:26:31.55\00:26:34.56
[sound of ocean waves]
00:26:37.26\00:26:40.23
¤¤
00:26:42.33\00:26:45.30
>> Bill, thank you so much for
00:26:45.30\00:26:46.84
joining us on It Is Written
00:26:46.84\00:26:48.47
Canada today.
00:26:48.47\00:26:50.04
>> It's been great to be here.
00:26:50.04\00:26:51.11
Thank you for having me.
00:26:51.11\00:26:52.17
[gentle piano music continues]
00:26:52.17\00:26:55.11
>> Friends, whenever life hits
00:27:01.38\00:27:03.42
me in the face and I am
00:27:03.42\00:27:04.82
confronted with tough decisions
00:27:04.82\00:27:07.09
like taking responsibility when
00:27:07.09\00:27:09.82
I feel like opting out, I pick
00:27:09.82\00:27:11.83
up this little book, Help In
00:27:11.83\00:27:14.20
Daily Living.
00:27:14.20\00:27:15.20
>> If you feel like your wheels
00:27:15.86\00:27:17.67
are simply spinning and you're
00:27:17.67\00:27:19.87
not getting anywhere,
00:27:19.87\00:27:21.97
you will find solutions
00:27:21.97\00:27:24.07
in this little book,
00:27:24.07\00:27:25.74
Help In Daily Living.
00:27:25.74\00:27:27.71
>> Before you go, we would like
00:27:28.24\00:27:30.15
to thank all of you who have
00:27:30.15\00:27:31.65
supported the ministry of It Is
00:27:31.65\00:27:33.08
Written Canada with your prayers
00:27:33.08\00:27:34.98
and financial contributions.
00:27:34.98\00:27:37.09
Without your support, this
00:27:37.09\00:27:38.65
television ministry could not
00:27:38.65\00:27:40.59
have reached so many people
00:27:40.59\00:27:42.79
for so many decades.
00:27:42.79\00:27:44.99
>> Yes. Thank you.
00:27:44.99\00:27:47.50
And we would also like to invite
00:27:47.50\00:27:49.43
you to follow us on Instagram
00:27:49.43\00:27:52.27
and Facebook and subscribe
00:27:52.27\00:27:54.44
to our YouTube channel,
00:27:54.44\00:27:56.20
and also listen to our podcasts.
00:27:56.20\00:27:59.31
And if you go to our website,
00:27:59.31\00:28:01.74
you can see our latest programs.
00:28:01.74\00:28:04.71
>> Friends, if you want the kind
00:28:04.71\00:28:06.68
of peace and freedom that Pastor
00:28:06.68\00:28:08.72
Bill Spangler experienced, we
00:28:08.72\00:28:10.79
recommend that you open the
00:28:10.79\00:28:12.79
Bible, God's Word, where it is
00:28:12.79\00:28:15.12
recorded that Jesus found His
00:28:15.12\00:28:17.69
assurance to defeat the Devil
00:28:17.69\00:28:19.83
through the Word of His Father
00:28:19.83\00:28:22.36
when He declared...
00:28:22.36\00:28:23.87
[uplifting music playing]
00:28:33.91\00:28:36.88
¤¤
00:28:36.88\00:28:39.88