[RENÉ] Welcome to It Is
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Written Canada.
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Thank you for joining us in
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beautiful Kelowna, British
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Columbia.
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Our special guest again is Don
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Straub, a practising clinical
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counsellor who helps people
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struggling with everyday
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problems by giving them
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powerful, practical solutions.
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>> Don is going to look at the
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topic of acceptable addictions
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Don, welcome back to It Is
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Written Canada.
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>> Thank you for this
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great opportunity to be on
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your program.
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>> Don, let me begin by asking
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you, what do you mean by an
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acceptable addiction?
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>> Our society, unfortunately,
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stereotypes addiction and
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especially people with
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addictions.
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So many people just look down
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their noses at people with
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addiction when really the
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truth is most of us are
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addicted to something.
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It may be food, gambling,
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shopping, social media,
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TV-watching, Netflix, video
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games, and my acceptable
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addiction: work.
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>> So, Don, would you say that
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some addictions are worse
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than others?
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[DON] I would probably lean
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that direction because, like I
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said, some of the addictions
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that people have are necessary
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things in our life, like we
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eat, we work, we shop, and not
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everybody develops addictions
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to these.
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So in the field of
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counselling, what we do is we
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question the person and we
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determine if they have an
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addiction or not by how
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adverse their...
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their life is as a result of
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that behaviour.
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Like, are they functioning
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well at work, are they
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functioning well physically,
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physical health, their
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marriages, are they being
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adversely affected by their
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behaviours?
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And when a person's life and
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any part of their life, is
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adversely affected by their
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behaviour, we would label that
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an addiction.
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Because, see, what happens
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with addiction is people will
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continue this behaviour in
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spite of whatever pain it
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causes them, whatever adverse
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affects it has on them.
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In fact, people have lost
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marriages, they've lost their
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job, they've lost their money,
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they've even lost their
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children to the ministry, and
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they've even lost their
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physical health because they
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cannot seem to find control
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over this behaviour.
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>> So, Don, what causes people
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to develop addictions?
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>> Well, let me start with
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what the research says it's
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not, OK, because there
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are myths.
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For instance, there is no
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genetic cause for addiction.
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They thought it was because it
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seemed to run in families, but
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with all the gene mapping that
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scientists do, we've never
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found any kind of genetic
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connection to addiction in the
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sense that there's a genetic
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gene for addiction.
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The second myth about
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addiction is that it's a moral
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failure, you know, "Just say"
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"no to drugs."
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If people could just say "no"
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to drugs and that would be the
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end of it, we wouldn't have
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the problems we have.
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But people can't say "no,"
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that's the problem.
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The third myth about addiction
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has to do with the fact that
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not every substance, not every
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behaviour is addictive.
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For instance, thousands of
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people take opiates for
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surgeries, for pain, only a
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certain percentage of those, a
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small percentage, actually
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become addicted to that
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substance or that-- or the
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different behaviours.
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So that's what we know about
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what doesn't cause addiction.
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But the research clearly shows
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what does cause addiction
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is pain.
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You see, pain is pain.
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It could be physical pain, it
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could be emotional pain.
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The conscious brain knows the
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difference, but the
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unconscious brain treats all
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pain the same.
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I could have the pain of
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touching a hot stove or I can
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have the pain of shame or
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anxiety or depression and pain
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causes the addiction.
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Gabor Maté who is kind of a
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guru and a researcher of
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addiction who used to work
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with people in addiction in
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east side Vancouver, has
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written several books and
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talks about this problem and
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he would say it this way...
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You see, pain comes in
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many forms.
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What I've discovered is that
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people in addiction and I'm
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probably talking 99% of people
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in addiction, have one or
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usually more additional mental
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health diagnosis.
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They have depression, they
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have high anxiety, they have
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personality disorders, they
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have ADHD, they have
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schizophrenia, they have
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bipolar, there's all of these
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mental health issues that
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cause them pain 'cause these
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are not easy things to live
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with and they're things that
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medical science is really
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sometimes at a loss to help.
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And so they suffer from the--
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not only the pain of these
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mental disorders, but there's
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so much shame that's carried
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by having a mental disorder.
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They're shunned by family
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members, people don't know how
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to treat them.
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And then when you have these
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mental disorders, we often end
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up with job loss which leads
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to homelessness, which leads
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to hunger, poverty, and all of
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this even adds more shame to a
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person's life and this all
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adds up to even more pain.
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>> So, Don, if addiction is
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not genetic, why does it run
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in the family?
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>> You know, it took us a
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while to figure that out
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because it does seem to run in
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families, but what we've
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studied is that families
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perpetuate their lifestyle and
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their abuse to their children.
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There's a principle that goes:
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We also know that addiction
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runs in certain cultures
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such as First Nations,
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as an example.
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It's not genetic in the sense
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that it's passed on
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genetically, but they have
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this history, and a chronic
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history, of being marginalized
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by main-stream society and
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that's painful so it is passed
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on this way.
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And then when I thought of
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this, I thought of a verse in
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scripture, it's in the Ten
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Commandments, Exodus 20,
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where God says...
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And I've always read that and
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wondered, what does that mean?
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I mean, does God actually
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punish innocent people for
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somebody else's sins?
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That does not fit the
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character of God.
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But then, you see, I
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remembered, like I said in the
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previous episodes, that in the
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Bible it speaks like God
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actually causes what He
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doesn't prevent.
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And so when you think about
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it, He chooses to operate this
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universe on the law of freedom
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and love and so if you just
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allow freedom, which He does,
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then that's how hurt people
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hurt people.
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And these habits, these
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behaviours, these painful
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hurts, these traumas, are
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passed on generationally.
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But there's hope.
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Jesus came to break that cycle.
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The cycle doesn't have to keep
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perpetuating if we introduce
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into that cycle, help.
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Most of us live pretty
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sheltered lives and it wasn't
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until I became a clinical
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counsellor and dealt with
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people in addiction that I
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began to see what goes on
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behind closed doors.
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I could not begin to tell you
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the pain that I hear every day
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coming from clients that
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come to me.
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I-- it's triple-X, I could not
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even talk about it in public.
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[MIKE] So you're dealing with
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a lot of this pain, how do you
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manage it yourself?
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>> Well, to start with, I go
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to my own counsellor, I take
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trauma counselling because
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there's secondary trauma.
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I can become traumatized by
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listening to the trauma.
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But in a nutshell, and I'm
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gonna talk a lot about this in
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a future episode, I have
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learned from my own addiction
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to think differently about
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myself and to take care
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of myself.
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[RENÉ] So, Don, you have been
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in addiction, too, and yet you
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were raised in a Christian
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family and worked for
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the church.
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How did that happen?
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>> Well, I did mention before
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that I was actually the leader
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of two organizations.
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I was principal of a school
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and pastor of a church and
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with these positions comes a
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lot of work, a lot of stress.
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Actually, it was two
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full-time jobs.
00:09:31.20\00:09:32.93
So in that sense, I was
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under stress.
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In addition to that, my wife,
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Penny, as I mentioned in a
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previous episode, was really
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living on the edge of death
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for many years, 12 years.
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Keeping-- being kept alive by
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intravenous feeding within our
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own home, it was like a
00:09:51.45\00:09:53.05
hospital, knowing that she
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would die any day and could
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be any day.
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This went on for 12 years.
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And on top of that, when
00:10:01.33\00:10:02.83
you're a leader and you decide
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to follow where Jesus is
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leading and taking you in this
00:10:06.30\00:10:07.57
life, not everybody likes your
00:10:07.57\00:10:09.47
decisions, sometimes you have
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to make some pretty hard
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decisions and you can't
00:10:12.34\00:10:13.48
please everybody.
00:10:13.48\00:10:15.04
And, of course, you know,
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there's criticism, there's
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judgment, there's gossip,
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even lies can be passed
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around, gossip is a really
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awful thing.
00:10:22.82\00:10:24.29
And this adds to the pain.
00:10:25.02\00:10:26.59
After my wife, Penny, died,
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my-- one of my daughters gave
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birth to our first grandchild
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and he was born with, we
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didn't know what, it was-- he
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almost was gonna die, he was
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living on the edge of death
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himself, now he's 16, but he
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still can't talk, he can't
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communicate, he wears diapers.
00:10:43.54\00:10:46.31
It's heart-breaking to see
00:10:46.31\00:10:48.68
your grandchild and then your
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daughter and her husband going
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through the pain of this.
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You feel the pain yourself,
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I just felt all this pain.
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>> So, Don, tell us about your
00:10:58.02\00:11:00.79
healing process and about
00:11:00.79\00:11:02.66
your discoveries.
00:11:02.66\00:11:04.83
>> The details are in my book,
00:11:04.83\00:11:06.23
but to keep it short,
00:11:06.23\00:11:08.10
basically I came to a place in
00:11:08.10\00:11:10.17
my life where I reached a
00:11:10.17\00:11:11.63
burn-out, they call it a
00:11:11.63\00:11:13.07
"burn-out," it's actually called
00:11:13.07\00:11:14.60
an "adrenal burn-out."
00:11:14.60\00:11:16.54
'Cause what was happening
00:11:16.54\00:11:18.04
there, to cope with my pain, I
00:11:18.04\00:11:20.01
was keeping myself busy
00:11:20.01\00:11:21.78
all the time.
00:11:21.78\00:11:23.35
Wouldn't let myself stop and
00:11:23.35\00:11:24.91
take a break and rest.
00:11:24.91\00:11:26.28
I had to keep working to keep
00:11:26.28\00:11:27.92
my mind going in a good place.
00:11:27.92\00:11:30.65
And when you're continuously
00:11:30.65\00:11:32.15
working, your adrenal glands
00:11:32.15\00:11:33.66
are continuously pumping out
00:11:33.66\00:11:35.12
adrenaline.
00:11:35.12\00:11:36.89
So actually what was going on
00:11:36.89\00:11:38.49
is I was high on my own
00:11:38.49\00:11:41.50
adrenaline.
00:11:41.50\00:11:43.10
I was addicted to the
00:11:43.10\00:11:45.07
chemical, adrenaline.
00:11:45.07\00:11:46.40
In fact, we know now that
00:11:46.40\00:11:47.70
every addiction, whether it's
00:11:47.70\00:11:49.27
a substance addiction or a
00:11:49.27\00:11:51.17
process addiction, like
00:11:51.17\00:11:52.94
gambling or work, is actually
00:11:52.94\00:11:54.78
still a chemical addiction.
00:11:54.78\00:11:56.78
And my body was just pumping
00:11:56.78\00:11:58.88
out adrenaline and I was just
00:11:58.88\00:12:00.72
riding the wave until I
00:12:00.72\00:12:02.62
started to get symptoms.
00:12:02.62\00:12:04.69
And it was a friend and
00:12:04.69\00:12:06.05
colleague of mine who suffered
00:12:06.05\00:12:07.39
a burn-out himself as a pastor
00:12:07.39\00:12:09.16
years before me, who came to
00:12:09.16\00:12:10.63
me and said, "Don, I'm"
00:12:10.63\00:12:12.13
"noticing some symptoms."
00:12:12.13\00:12:13.63
And, of course, my wife,
00:12:13.63\00:12:15.10
Juanita, she was noticing some
00:12:15.10\00:12:16.63
things were off, too.
00:12:16.63\00:12:18.30
And so they asked me if I
00:12:18.30\00:12:20.77
would go to see a doctor so I
00:12:20.77\00:12:22.30
promised them I would go to
00:12:22.30\00:12:23.64
the doctor and I would tell
00:12:23.64\00:12:24.94
them exactly what my symptoms
00:12:24.94\00:12:26.37
were, what I was experiencing,
00:12:26.37\00:12:28.44
what my wife was experiencing,
00:12:28.44\00:12:30.11
what my friend was noticing.
00:12:30.11\00:12:32.51
And there I was telling the
00:12:32.51\00:12:33.92
doctor and he reached for his
00:12:33.92\00:12:35.52
prescription pad and he
00:12:35.52\00:12:37.12
started to write and I started
00:12:37.12\00:12:38.35
to go, "Oh no!"
00:12:38.35\00:12:40.32
"I don't want pills."
00:12:40.32\00:12:42.16
Ripped it off his pad and he
00:12:42.16\00:12:43.86
handed me this piece of paper
00:12:43.86\00:12:46.13
and it said, "Clean out your"
00:12:46.13\00:12:47.50
"desk and do not report to"
00:12:47.50\00:12:48.53
"work until I give you"
00:12:48.53\00:12:49.76
"permission."
00:12:49.76\00:12:50.87
And I said, "Uh, I have"
00:12:50.87\00:12:52.27
"two desks."
00:12:52.27\00:12:53.47
"I'm both a principal"
00:12:53.47\00:12:54.54
"and a pastor."
00:12:54.54\00:12:55.84
He snatched it back and he
00:12:55.84\00:12:57.01
scratched it and rewrote,
00:12:57.01\00:12:59.11
"Clean out both desks and do"
00:12:59.11\00:13:01.08
"not go to work until I give"
00:13:01.08\00:13:02.54
"you permission."
00:13:02.54\00:13:04.08
And that was the beginning of
00:13:04.08\00:13:06.08
a fairly lengthy healing
00:13:06.08\00:13:08.22
process which probably, I
00:13:08.22\00:13:10.22
didn't really probably
00:13:10.22\00:13:11.49
completely heal for about
00:13:11.49\00:13:12.52
three years.
00:13:12.52\00:13:14.29
But within the first year, I
00:13:14.29\00:13:16.12
knew I had to resign from both
00:13:16.12\00:13:17.93
jobs, one at a time.
00:13:17.93\00:13:20.73
But, fortunately, I belong to
00:13:20.73\00:13:23.03
a church who really believes
00:13:23.03\00:13:24.73
in the holistic approach to
00:13:24.73\00:13:26.40
health, in other words...
00:13:26.40\00:13:27.84
So our body affects our minds,
00:13:29.70\00:13:31.67
our minds affect our body,
00:13:31.67\00:13:33.07
just as we've been talking
00:13:33.07\00:13:34.44
about, our thoughts affect
00:13:34.44\00:13:35.78
our emotions and our
00:13:35.78\00:13:37.05
physical body.
00:13:37.05\00:13:38.21
And so they paid for me to go
00:13:38.21\00:13:39.65
to a place for two weeks which
00:13:39.65\00:13:41.58
is called Silver Hills Guest
00:13:41.58\00:13:43.18
House and the manager there,
00:13:43.18\00:13:45.45
Phil Brewer, was a wonderful
00:13:45.45\00:13:47.26
person and by spending two
00:13:47.26\00:13:49.52
weeks there with a healthy
00:13:49.52\00:13:50.99
diet and in nature and having
00:13:50.99\00:13:52.99
these daily talks with Phil,
00:13:52.99\00:13:54.73
I began to heal.
00:13:54.73\00:13:56.70
And while I was there, one of
00:13:56.70\00:13:58.53
the staff member told me to
00:13:58.53\00:14:00.10
read this book, handed me this
00:14:00.10\00:14:01.64
book and it was entitled Never
00:14:01.64\00:14:03.84
Good Enough by Carol Cannon,
00:14:03.84\00:14:05.91
a book published by my
00:14:05.91\00:14:07.08
own church.
00:14:07.08\00:14:08.34
And I read that book and it
00:14:08.34\00:14:10.61
started to open up ideas and
00:14:10.61\00:14:13.45
it started to make me come
00:14:13.45\00:14:15.12
aware of why I was thinking
00:14:15.12\00:14:17.22
and why I was doing what
00:14:17.22\00:14:18.45
I was doing.
00:14:18.45\00:14:20.09
The essence of this book was
00:14:20.09\00:14:21.76
that often times when it comes
00:14:21.76\00:14:23.53
to addiction, in fact, most of
00:14:23.53\00:14:25.09
the time, it's because we
00:14:25.09\00:14:26.63
don't like worthy, valuable.
00:14:26.63\00:14:28.60
Remember we talked in the past
00:14:28.60\00:14:30.10
about our thoughts, how we put
00:14:30.10\00:14:31.70
ourselves down, and I was
00:14:31.70\00:14:33.27
never feeling good enough, I
00:14:33.27\00:14:34.74
felt I could never measure up.
00:14:34.74\00:14:36.54
And it wasn't necessarily to
00:14:36.54\00:14:37.91
God, but to myself, to my
00:14:37.91\00:14:39.34
church, to my family, and I
00:14:39.34\00:14:42.01
would have to work harder
00:14:42.01\00:14:43.65
and longer to feel good
00:14:43.65\00:14:46.05
about myself.
00:14:46.05\00:14:47.55
>> So how do you know that you
00:14:47.55\00:14:49.28
are good enough?
00:14:49.28\00:14:51.35
>> And that's the problem, is
00:14:51.35\00:14:53.32
I was doing-- I was finding it
00:14:53.32\00:14:55.52
out by assessing how many
00:14:55.52\00:14:57.13
compliments I got.
00:14:57.13\00:14:58.49
"Don, good job," or "Don, we"
00:14:58.49\00:15:00.13
"can't do this without you."
00:15:00.13\00:15:02.00
And that's what I was looking
00:15:02.00\00:15:03.33
for, it was actually kind of
00:15:03.33\00:15:05.23
in a, as I found out later, an
00:15:05.23\00:15:07.00
addiction to approval.
00:15:07.00\00:15:08.87
I needed that approval to feel
00:15:08.87\00:15:10.57
good about myself.
00:15:10.57\00:15:12.11
And I realized that in my past
00:15:12.11\00:15:14.61
I was always, you know, the
00:15:14.61\00:15:15.94
last person picked on a ball
00:15:15.94\00:15:17.78
game team, I was teased and
00:15:17.78\00:15:20.28
bullied at school, pimples,
00:15:20.28\00:15:22.32
you know, skinny runt.
00:15:22.32\00:15:24.12
And then, from this book, I
00:15:24.12\00:15:26.29
also found out that a lot of
00:15:26.29\00:15:28.49
people are raised in good,
00:15:28.49\00:15:30.56
healthy, religious homes, and
00:15:30.56\00:15:32.79
good, healthy churches, but
00:15:32.79\00:15:35.53
because of some environments,
00:15:35.53\00:15:37.47
it's like perfectionism and
00:15:37.47\00:15:39.47
we're taught we have to do it
00:15:39.47\00:15:40.64
perfectly or we're not good
00:15:40.64\00:15:42.07
enough and so I realized that
00:15:42.07\00:15:44.11
I had never felt good enough
00:15:44.11\00:15:46.21
to myself, to others.
00:15:46.21\00:15:49.28
Now here's a truth that I've
00:15:49.28\00:15:50.61
discovered and I teach it all
00:15:50.61\00:15:52.25
the time: as human beings, our
00:15:52.25\00:15:54.95
greatest need is acceptance.
00:15:54.95\00:15:57.42
We're wired that way, we're
00:15:57.42\00:15:58.79
wired for connection, which
00:15:58.79\00:16:00.49
means our greatest fear is
00:16:00.49\00:16:02.96
rejection and when our
00:16:02.96\00:16:05.53
greatest fear is rejection,
00:16:05.53\00:16:07.13
we will go to all kinds of
00:16:07.13\00:16:08.96
ways to avoid being judged
00:16:08.96\00:16:11.70
and rejected.
00:16:11.70\00:16:13.64
And that's the thing about,
00:16:13.64\00:16:15.30
you know, being a leader
00:16:15.30\00:16:16.64
you're gonna be constantly
00:16:16.64\00:16:17.84
liked or not liked or judged
00:16:17.84\00:16:19.27
or criticized and I was trying
00:16:19.27\00:16:21.14
to please everybody.
00:16:21.14\00:16:23.75
So what I've learned is that
00:16:23.75\00:16:25.55
if a person is gonna heal from
00:16:25.55\00:16:27.32
addiction, it must be done in
00:16:27.32\00:16:29.25
an environment with 100%
00:16:29.25\00:16:32.45
acceptance and non-judgment
00:16:32.45\00:16:34.79
which is what I do as a
00:16:34.79\00:16:36.36
clinical counsellor when my
00:16:36.36\00:16:37.99
clients come to me which is
00:16:37.99\00:16:39.76
what we do in our live-in
00:16:39.76\00:16:41.83
addictions treatment centre is
00:16:41.83\00:16:43.43
we set up an environment where
00:16:43.43\00:16:44.80
no one is judged for any
00:16:44.80\00:16:47.24
reason at all, they're
00:16:47.24\00:16:48.80
accepted and loved.
00:16:48.80\00:16:50.74
Of course we have to have
00:16:50.74\00:16:52.11
rules, we have to protect each
00:16:52.11\00:16:53.38
other from each other, we have
00:16:53.38\00:16:55.18
to have boundaries, but we
00:16:55.18\00:16:56.98
don't, like, kick people out
00:16:56.98\00:16:58.48
for doing this or maybe even
00:16:58.48\00:17:00.28
using, we work with them, we
00:17:00.28\00:17:02.75
have grace for them and we
00:17:02.75\00:17:04.22
help them learn from
00:17:04.22\00:17:05.52
their mistakes.
00:17:05.52\00:17:06.99
>> So, Don, it seems to me
00:17:06.99\00:17:09.52
that the church should be a
00:17:09.52\00:17:11.63
safe place for those that are
00:17:11.63\00:17:13.29
struggling with addictions.
00:17:13.29\00:17:15.06
>> Absolutely it should be
00:17:15.06\00:17:16.60
because we talk about the
00:17:16.60\00:17:17.97
church being a hospital for
00:17:17.97\00:17:19.23
sinners, don't we?
00:17:19.23\00:17:20.44
But, unfortunately, it
00:17:20.44\00:17:21.77
often is not.
00:17:21.77\00:17:23.37
So many times within the
00:17:23.37\00:17:24.87
church people are judged,
00:17:24.87\00:17:26.78
they're even dismissed or
00:17:26.78\00:17:28.18
kicked out of church for some
00:17:28.18\00:17:29.34
of the things, but mostly
00:17:29.34\00:17:30.51
people just leave because they
00:17:30.51\00:17:31.61
don't feel like they're
00:17:31.61\00:17:32.91
accepted the way they are.
00:17:32.91\00:17:34.72
The thing is, most of my
00:17:34.72\00:17:36.35
clients, both in my private
00:17:36.35\00:17:37.79
practice and in the centre for
00:17:37.79\00:17:39.79
addiction, are not Christians.
00:17:39.79\00:17:42.26
And, because of my ethical
00:17:42.26\00:17:44.23
principles that I have to work
00:17:44.23\00:17:45.73
with with my license and
00:17:45.73\00:17:47.20
because of the fact that I
00:17:47.20\00:17:49.36
work in a place that's funded
00:17:49.36\00:17:50.73
by the government, we have to
00:17:50.73\00:17:52.53
be careful.
00:17:52.53\00:17:53.77
What we do is we honour
00:17:53.77\00:17:55.24
everybody's religious beliefs
00:17:55.24\00:17:57.11
as equal, we respect and
00:17:57.11\00:17:58.91
honour them.
00:17:58.91\00:18:00.34
Now it gives me many
00:18:00.34\00:18:01.78
opportunities though to share
00:18:01.78\00:18:03.35
a little bit and I'll ask
00:18:03.35\00:18:05.01
permission or I will say
00:18:05.01\00:18:06.61
something like, you know,
00:18:06.61\00:18:07.95
like, "We're all worthy and"
00:18:07.95\00:18:09.28
"valuable, and for those of"
00:18:09.28\00:18:11.22
"you who believe in Jesus,"
00:18:11.22\00:18:12.72
"you could tell yourself,"
00:18:12.72\00:18:14.02
"'I'm a child of God.'"
00:18:14.02\00:18:16.12
And others are listening to
00:18:16.12\00:18:17.56
that, too, but we don't make
00:18:17.56\00:18:18.99
apologies for that, we just
00:18:18.99\00:18:20.36
don't force our religion on
00:18:20.36\00:18:21.36
other people.
00:18:21.36\00:18:22.46
So in what we do, we practice
00:18:23.43\00:18:26.80
something called "wellbriety."
00:18:26.80\00:18:28.77
>> "Wellbriety?"
00:18:28.77\00:18:30.21
Don't you mean "sobriety?"
00:18:30.21\00:18:31.61
>> Exactly.
00:18:31.61\00:18:33.01
I used to used the word,
00:18:33.01\00:18:34.38
"sobriety," for years and
00:18:34.38\00:18:35.91
years, but then I've learned
00:18:35.91\00:18:37.05
this new word called,
00:18:37.05\00:18:38.45
"wellbriety," which actually
00:18:38.45\00:18:39.78
comes from the First Nations
00:18:39.78\00:18:41.05
culture and I love it because
00:18:41.05\00:18:43.32
"wellbriety" says what
00:18:43.32\00:18:45.59
"sobriety" means and so it's a
00:18:45.59\00:18:48.16
very holistic approach.
00:18:48.16\00:18:50.06
And people in addiction love
00:18:50.06\00:18:51.43
that word, "wellbriety."
00:18:51.43\00:18:53.03
"I'm living in wellbriety."
00:18:53.03\00:18:54.83
Because addiction has to go
00:18:54.83\00:18:56.36
from a place of just not
00:18:56.36\00:18:58.37
stopping something, but
00:18:58.37\00:19:00.04
starting something new and
00:19:00.04\00:19:01.97
different and healthy.
00:19:01.97\00:19:03.77
This is how I illustrate it
00:19:03.77\00:19:05.04
with my clients.
00:19:05.04\00:19:06.34
Now this is a game of pretend
00:19:07.01\00:19:08.58
obviously, so let's pretend
00:19:08.58\00:19:10.95
this is real, real money, OK?
00:19:10.95\00:19:13.75
So I will ask you the question
00:19:13.75\00:19:15.78
what's this worth?
00:19:15.78\00:19:17.49
>> A hundred dollars.
00:19:17.49\00:19:18.82
>> Exactly.
00:19:18.82\00:19:20.16
Now we could say it another
00:19:20.16\00:19:21.19
way, we could say,
00:19:21.19\00:19:22.29
"What's its value?"
00:19:22.29\00:19:23.43
>> A hundred dollars.
00:19:23.43\00:19:24.23
>> Exactly.
00:19:24.23\00:19:25.29
[paper ripping]
00:19:25.29\00:19:28.33
Now you can see why I didn't
00:19:28.33\00:19:29.73
wanna use a real one today.
00:19:29.73\00:19:31.93
So the question is now,
00:19:31.93\00:19:34.80
what's it worth now?
00:19:34.80\00:19:35.90
[RENÉ] Nothing.
00:19:35.90\00:19:37.01
[MIKE] Nothing.
00:19:37.01\00:19:38.14
>> That's what most people
00:19:38.14\00:19:39.34
say, but the truth is it's
00:19:39.34\00:19:41.48
still worth $100.
00:19:41.48\00:19:43.11
Unless I burn it up and
00:19:43.11\00:19:44.75
disappear the serial number, I
00:19:44.75\00:19:47.02
can take this to the bank and
00:19:47.02\00:19:48.95
they will give me a new one.
00:19:48.95\00:19:50.99
And here's the illustration:
00:19:50.99\00:19:52.89
we come into this world
00:19:52.89\00:19:56.02
worthy and valuable, it's how
00:19:56.02\00:19:58.16
God created us, we're precious.
00:19:58.16\00:20:00.80
I mean, I have four children.
00:20:00.80\00:20:03.06
Every one of them came into
00:20:03.06\00:20:04.57
this world as priceless.
00:20:04.57\00:20:06.94
I could not put any kind of a
00:20:06.94\00:20:09.14
price on any one of my
00:20:09.14\00:20:10.24
children.
00:20:10.24\00:20:11.47
I would die for that child.
00:20:11.47\00:20:13.44
And that's how we come into
00:20:13.44\00:20:14.78
this world and that's how
00:20:14.78\00:20:16.14
God sees us.
00:20:16.14\00:20:17.48
But then things happen to us.
00:20:17.48\00:20:20.88
People come along and they
00:20:20.88\00:20:22.72
abuse us, they bully us, they
00:20:22.72\00:20:25.69
betray us, they abandon us.
00:20:25.69\00:20:28.06
Sometimes the most hurtful
00:20:28.06\00:20:29.76
things are done by parents
00:20:29.76\00:20:31.26
themselves, but it could be
00:20:31.26\00:20:32.86
teachers or fellow students,
00:20:32.86\00:20:34.40
classmates.
00:20:34.40\00:20:36.26
And so we begin to feel that
00:20:36.26\00:20:39.67
we're not important, we're not
00:20:39.67\00:20:41.47
valuable that we're just
00:20:41.47\00:20:43.41
worthless and that's where the
00:20:43.41\00:20:45.57
cycle begins, the cycle of
00:20:45.57\00:20:47.24
shame, of feeling shame,
00:20:47.24\00:20:49.41
never good enough.
00:20:49.41\00:20:51.11
But the truth is we are God's
00:20:52.05\00:20:54.35
children and He sees us as
00:20:54.35\00:20:56.99
worthy and valuable.
00:20:56.99\00:20:59.75
I don't have to prove that
00:20:59.75\00:21:02.19
anymore to anybody.
00:21:02.19\00:21:04.63
I don't even have to prove it
00:21:04.63\00:21:05.79
to myself anymore.
00:21:05.79\00:21:07.60
I am enough, regardless.
00:21:07.60\00:21:10.93
My sins, my mistakes do not
00:21:10.93\00:21:13.70
define me, my imperfections do
00:21:13.70\00:21:16.20
not define me.
00:21:16.20\00:21:18.21
I am enough.
00:21:18.21\00:21:20.28
This is all I needed to know
00:21:20.28\00:21:22.78
and all I need to know.
00:21:22.78\00:21:24.28
¤The love of God
00:21:24.28\00:21:26.35
¤is greater far
00:21:26.35\00:21:28.92
¤Than tongue or pen
00:21:28.92\00:21:31.72
¤can ever tell
00:21:31.72\00:21:34.22
¤It goes beyond
00:21:34.22\00:21:36.69
¤the highest star
00:21:36.69\00:21:39.73
¤And reaches to
00:21:39.73\00:21:42.10
¤the deepest hell
00:21:42.10\00:21:44.83
¤The guilty pair
00:21:44.83\00:21:47.87
¤bowed down with care
00:21:47.87\00:21:50.74
¤God gave His Son to win
00:21:50.74\00:21:56.34
¤His erring child
00:21:56.34\00:21:59.15
¤He reconciled
00:21:59.15\00:22:02.15
¤And pardoned from his sin
00:22:02.15\00:22:10.23
¤Oh love of God
00:22:10.23\00:22:13.29
¤how rich and pure
00:22:13.29\00:22:16.10
¤How measureless and strong
00:22:16.10\00:22:21.67
¤It shall forevermore endure
00:22:21.67\00:22:27.18
¤The saints' and angels' song
00:22:27.18\00:22:34.42
¤When years of time
00:22:35.85\00:22:38.42
¤shall pass away
00:22:38.42\00:22:41.26
¤And earthly thrones
00:22:41.26\00:22:43.73
¤and kingdoms fall
00:22:43.73\00:22:46.46
¤When men who here
00:22:46.46\00:22:49.13
¤refuse to pray
00:22:49.13\00:22:51.70
¤On rocks and hills
00:22:51.70\00:22:54.44
¤and mountains call
00:22:54.44\00:22:57.31
¤God's love, so sure
00:22:57.31\00:22:59.94
¤will still endure
00:22:59.94\00:23:02.41
¤All measureless and strong
00:23:02.41\00:23:06.92
¤Redeeming grace
00:23:06.92\00:23:09.52
¤to Adam's race
00:23:09.52\00:23:12.35
¤The saints' and angels' song
00:23:12.35\00:23:19.73
¤Oh love of God
00:23:19.73\00:23:22.50
¤how rich and pure
00:23:22.50\00:23:25.40
¤How measureless and strong
00:23:25.40\00:23:30.77
¤It shall forevermore endure
00:23:30.77\00:23:36.18
¤The saints' and angels' song
00:23:36.18\00:23:42.48
¤¤
00:23:42.48\00:23:57.27
¤Could we with ink
00:23:57.27\00:23:59.87
¤the ocean fill
00:23:59.87\00:24:02.77
¤And were the skies
00:24:02.77\00:24:05.27
¤of parchment made
00:24:05.27\00:24:07.91
¤Were every stalk
00:24:07.91\00:24:10.18
¤on earth a quill
00:24:10.18\00:24:13.21
¤And every man
00:24:13.21\00:24:15.78
¤a scribe by trade
00:24:15.78\00:24:18.29
¤To write the love
00:24:18.29\00:24:20.69
¤of God above
00:24:20.69\00:24:23.43
¤Would drain the ocean dry
00:24:23.43\00:24:28.30
¤Nor could the scroll
00:24:28.30\00:24:31.00
¤contain the whole
00:24:31.00\00:24:33.64
¤Though stretched from sky
00:24:33.64\00:24:36.40
¤to sky
00:24:36.40\00:24:40.34
¤The love of God
00:24:42.08\00:24:44.95
¤how rich and pure
00:24:44.95\00:24:47.85
¤How measureless and strong
00:24:47.85\00:24:53.12
¤It shall forevermore endure
00:24:53.12\00:24:58.89
¤The saints' and angels' song
00:24:58.89\00:25:11.07
>> My God is my Father.
00:25:12.91\00:25:15.34
I am His child.
00:25:15.34\00:25:17.31
He loves me, regardless.
00:25:17.31\00:25:19.38
To Him I am worthy and
00:25:19.38\00:25:20.88
valuable.
00:25:20.88\00:25:22.92
I am worthy and valuable.
00:25:22.92\00:25:26.09
This is my identity.
00:25:26.09\00:25:28.52
>> It's so true.
00:25:28.52\00:25:29.99
This is our identity and thank
00:25:29.99\00:25:31.29
you for closing on that.
00:25:31.29\00:25:32.99
I wonder if you could end with
00:25:32.99\00:25:34.20
a word of prayer for us.
00:25:34.20\00:25:35.40
>> Sure.
00:25:35.40\00:25:36.23
[MIKE] Thanks, Don.
00:25:36.23\00:25:37.90
>> Father...
00:25:37.90\00:25:40.20
What a beautiful word to be
00:25:40.20\00:25:41.50
able to say to You, the God of
00:25:41.50\00:25:43.24
the Universe and King, Abba
00:25:43.24\00:25:46.14
God, Father God, thank You for
00:25:46.14\00:25:49.88
calling us Your children and
00:25:49.88\00:25:52.11
Your friends.
00:25:52.11\00:25:54.55
Thank You for showing us, by
00:25:54.55\00:25:56.79
Your death on the cross, our
00:25:56.79\00:25:58.49
value and our worth.
00:25:58.49\00:26:00.52
I just pray that everyone that
00:26:01.32\00:26:03.43
is listening would embrace
00:26:03.43\00:26:04.86
that truth and that our
00:26:04.86\00:26:07.23
identity is in You and we
00:26:07.23\00:26:10.17
don't have to prove that value
00:26:10.17\00:26:11.83
to You or anyone else,
00:26:11.83\00:26:13.84
including ourselves.
00:26:13.84\00:26:15.60
We thank You again, in Jesus'
00:26:15.60\00:26:16.91
name, amen.
00:26:16.91\00:26:18.24
[MIKE & RENÉ] Amen.
00:26:18.24\00:26:20.11
[RENÉ] Don, Mike and I want to
00:26:20.11\00:26:21.64
thank you so much for sharing
00:26:21.64\00:26:23.45
that very important topic on
00:26:23.45\00:26:25.68
It Is Written Canada today.
00:26:25.68\00:26:27.45
>> Thank you.
00:26:27.45\00:26:29.25
>> Friends, as Don shared with
00:26:30.25\00:26:31.95
us, God's love sets us free
00:26:31.95\00:26:35.02
from addictions and we want to
00:26:35.02\00:26:37.39
give you a chance to learn
00:26:37.39\00:26:39.06
more about this freedom by
00:26:39.06\00:26:41.16
sending you our free offer
00:26:41.16\00:26:42.83
today which is Don's book
00:26:42.83\00:26:45.37
entitled Bridges to Freedom:
00:26:45.37\00:26:48.00
Creating Change Through
00:26:48.00\00:26:49.17
Science and Christian
00:26:49.17\00:26:50.61
Spirituality.
00:26:50.61\00:26:52.94
>> In Bridges To Freedom, Don
00:26:52.94\00:26:54.64
shares his analysis of
00:26:54.64\00:26:56.11
scripture and scientific
00:26:56.11\00:26:57.85
research to help you enjoy
00:26:57.85\00:27:00.22
spiritual growth, manage your
00:27:00.22\00:27:02.05
emotions, and cultivate
00:27:02.05\00:27:04.75
healthy relationships, to move
00:27:04.75\00:27:07.62
closer to the Lord, get past
00:27:07.62\00:27:09.62
your mistakes, and learn life
00:27:09.62\00:27:11.53
lessons with the essential
00:27:11.53\00:27:13.19
bridges to freedom described
00:27:13.19\00:27:15.70
in this book.
00:27:15.70\00:27:17.67
Before you go, we would also
00:27:17.67\00:27:19.47
like to invite you to follow
00:27:19.47\00:27:21.17
us on Instagram and Facebook
00:27:21.17\00:27:23.54
and subscribe to our YouTube
00:27:23.54\00:27:25.47
channel and also listen to our
00:27:25.47\00:27:27.71
Podcasts and if you go to our
00:27:27.71\00:27:30.05
website, you can see our
00:27:30.05\00:27:32.21
latest programs, including our
00:27:32.21\00:27:34.45
cooking demonstrations, our
00:27:34.45\00:27:36.55
short spiritual messages
00:27:36.55\00:27:38.49
entitled Daily Living, and our
00:27:38.49\00:27:40.86
exercise workouts called,
00:27:40.86\00:27:42.72
Experiencing Life.
00:27:42.72\00:27:45.13
>> We want you to experience
00:27:45.13\00:27:46.90
the truth that is found in the
00:27:46.90\00:27:48.70
words of Jesus when He said,
00:27:48.70\00:27:50.60
"It is written, man shall not"
00:27:50.60\00:27:52.63
"live by bread alone, but by"
00:27:52.63\00:27:55.24
"every word that proceeds out"
00:27:55.24\00:27:57.01
"of the mouth of God."
00:27:57.01\00:27:59.17
¤¤
00:27:59.17\00:28:47.69