中
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>> Welcome to It Is Written
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Canada.
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Thank you for joining us in
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beautiful Kelowna, British
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Columbia.
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Our special guest, who visited
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us last week to share his
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personal story, is Don Straub,
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a practising clinical
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counsellor who helps people
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struggling with everyday
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problems by giving them
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powerful, practical solutions.
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>> Don is going to look at the
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important question of why we
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sometimes do things that we
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ourselves do not understand.
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Don, welcome to It Is Written
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Canada.
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>> Thank you, I find it
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wonderful to be here.
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>> Don, you are also a teacher
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and a pastor so what made you
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become interested in becoming
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a professional clinical
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counsellor?
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>> Well, as a teacher of
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religion in high school and a
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pastor, I often got students
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and, of course, parishioners,
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coming to me for counselling.
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And I began to realize that
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there's more to counselling
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than just X-Y-Z, right?
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And I was over my head a few
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times and kind of deep down
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inside I thought, "Well, some"
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"day I should get some real"
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"training in counselling."
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But my favourite class in high
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school was teaching biology,
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especially Biology 12 where we
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have a unit on neurobiology
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and the brain and I always get
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excited about that because I
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thought, "This way I can help"
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"these students," right,
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'cause they're really at danger
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with using alcohol and drugs.
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And so I would, when I got to
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this chapter, I would take off
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of my shelf in the biology
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room, a jar and I would take a
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slice of a human brain out of
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the jar and I would wipe it
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off and dry it and I would
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pass it around the classroom
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so they could each hold a
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slice of a human brain in
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their hand and as they held
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that and passed it around, I
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would tell them that the brain
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is just a piece of meat.
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It's just like your heart or
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your lungs and it requires
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oxygen, you know, exercise to
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get that organ functioning and
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requires nutrients and what we
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put into your body goes into
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this brain, chemicals, alcohol,
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drugs, and these things can
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affect your brain and your
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body, so whatever affects your
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body affects your brain.
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Now, of course, I took my
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original degree in biology,
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like it's over 50 years ago
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now, and at the time I was
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teaching my students that one
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beer would kill, like,
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thousands of brain cells and
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they would never ever be
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regenerated, you know, kind of
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giving them the scare
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technique, I guess.
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But then, flash forward 40
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years when I took my masters
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level in counselling, with
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MRI's, PET scans, CAT scans,
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we know so much about the
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brain now and I had to unlearn
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this whole concept because we
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do have now a truth called
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"neuroplasticity."
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We now know the brain can
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regenerate cells and build new
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neuroconnections.
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>> So, Don, how does this new
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knowledge of neuroplasticity
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help in your counselling?
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>> Well, I've come to
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understand how the brain works
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this way: if we have even a
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single thought, that thought
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actually changes the physical
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structure of the brain.
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And if we repeat thoughts over
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and over, the neuroconnections
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become stronger and stronger
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and stronger.
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And so with this knowledge,
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we can help people change
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their brains, if you wanna
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say it that way.
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Let me show you my
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BFT sandwich.
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So...
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...here's our sandwich.
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"B" stands for "behaviours,"
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things we do with our body,
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the words we speak.
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"F" stands for "feelings,"
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our emotions.
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"T" stands for our
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"thoughts," OK.
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So our feelings are in the
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middle of the sandwich and
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here's how it works: a thought
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can create a feeling.
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For instance a-- I don't wanna
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say negative thought, but we
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have negative thoughts
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sometimes, right?
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We may think, "I'm stupid,"
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and that makes us feel in a
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certain way, like, we may feel
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shame or anger or sadness, but
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a thought can create a feeling
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and a negative thought creates
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these uncomfortable feelings.
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And then this uncomfortable
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feeling will drive some kind
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of self-defeating behaviour,
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something that we're not proud
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of, we maybe have to
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apologize for, perhaps even
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an addiction.
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So these self-defeating
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behaviours that I'm talking
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about, the scripture calls
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them "sins."
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>> So sins are self-defeating
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behaviours.
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[DON] That's right.
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I prefer the term
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"self-defeating behaviour"
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because it kind of describes
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what sin really does.
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You see, a lot of my clients,
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they just think, "Well, sin is"
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"something God made up, you"
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"know, and it's nothing really"
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"you need to worry about,"
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"it's just a religious thing."
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But actually, self-defeating
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behaviours, or "sins," have
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consequences, there are
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natural consequences that
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are destructive.
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Like, sin causes death.
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Self-defeating behaviours
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cause death.
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So when it comes down to it,
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we have to think about
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this idea.
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I think about the law of God
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as something like the law of
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gravity; you can't break the
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law of God, you can't break
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the law of gravity.
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There are always consequences.
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So in this scenario here, it's
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not a God who sits up there
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and makes up rules like as if
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where life is some big
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Monopoly game, you know, if
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you land on this square, you
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go directly to jail, "Do not"
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"pass Go, do not collect $200."
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No, if you land on this
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square, there are natural
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consequences to our actions.
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Let's kind of summarize the
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BFT Sandwich this way: if I
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always think the way I've
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always thought, I will always
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feel the way I've always felt.
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And if I always feel the way
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I've always felt, I'll always
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do what I've always done.
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And if I always do what I've
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always done, I'll always get
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what I've always gotten.
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If nothing changes, then
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nothing changes.
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>> So, Don, does it work the
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other way around?
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Do behaviours affect our
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feelings, too?
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[DON] Absolutely.
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I can maybe have a very
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loving, kind behaviour and it
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makes me feel content, happy,
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joyful and then I start to
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think positive things,
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"I'm a pretty good person,"
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"I enjoy life."
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But, you know, if I hurt
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somebody, I betray somebody,
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I do something harmful to
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somebody, then I start feeling
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these uncomfortable emotions
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like shame and guilt and maybe
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I get angry at myself.
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Pretty soon I'm beating myself
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up with all kinds of
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negative thoughts.
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>> So, Don, why isn't it
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called, "Behavioural"
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"Feeling Therapy?"
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>> The reason is the feelings
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are in the middle of the
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sandwich and we cannot
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directly change our feelings.
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Have you ever tried it?
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"Be happy, be happy,"
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"don't worry, don't worry."
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Right?
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It doesn't work.
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The only way we can actually
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change our feelings is by
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changing a thought
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or changing a behaviour.
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But here's the problem: human
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beings, they like to change
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their feelings and they like
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to find shortcuts to do it.
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This is where people go to
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alcohol and drugs because
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they're trying to change
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their feelings.
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And guess what happens.
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Feelings come as a
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packaged deal.
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You don't just numb the
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feelings you don't want to
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feel, you numb all the
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feelings.
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You numb joy, you numb
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contentment, gratitude.
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And that's unfortunate.
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When there are therapeutic
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ways, I call them, to change
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our feelings, rather than
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medical ways and drug ways
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or medicine ways or
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self-medicating ways.
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>> So what about positive
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thinking?
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People are really into
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positive thinking.
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>> Well, as a Christian
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counsellor, I'm really not
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fond of this term, "positive"
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"thinking," at all because I
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believe that we need to go by
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scripture and in scripture we
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find that truthful thinking is
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very important.
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And so as a Christian
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counsellor, I talk about
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positive thinking that's also
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truthful thinking.
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For instance, I could get a
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thought, "I'm the smartest"
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"person in Canada," or I could
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get a thought, "I'm God."
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Oh, very positive thoughts,
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right?
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Not truthful, not helpful.
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But, you know, I can get a
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thought like, "I'm so stupid."
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But you know what?
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That is not a truthful thought.
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The truth is I occasionally do
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dumb things and I've done--
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But I'm not stupid.
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In fact, nobody's stupid.
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We're all smart, we're just
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smart in different areas
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of our life.
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Like, I could create a
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thought: "I'm important."
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That's actually a truthful
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thought.
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See, I'm not more important
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than anyone else, but I'm not
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less important than anyone
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else either.
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A doctor is no more important
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than a garbage collector.
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Our society has twisted things
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around and we start putting
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people in levels of importance
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and that's not helpful and
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it's not truthful.
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The thing is, when I was a
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pastor, I would teach my
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congregation that there's no
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hierarchy in the church,
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whether you're an usher, a
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greeter, an elder, a pastor,
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we're all important.
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We just play different roles.
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The apostle Paul refers to the
00:10:39.73\00:10:42.14
church as a "body."
00:10:42.14\00:10:44.37
In 1 Corinthians 12:17, this
00:10:44.37\00:10:46.24
is what he says.
00:10:46.24\00:10:47.88
He says...
00:10:47.88\00:10:49.18
>> So, Don, where in the
00:10:59.62\00:11:01.82
scripture do you find support
00:11:01.82\00:11:03.76
for cognitive behavioural
00:11:03.76\00:11:05.09
therapy?
00:11:05.09\00:11:06.19
>> Well, let me share
00:11:06.93\00:11:08.10
something from Philippians
00:11:08.10\00:11:09.16
4:8, Paul says...
00:11:09.16\00:11:11.47
There's another place in
00:11:31.19\00:11:32.72
2 Corinthians 10:5
00:11:32.72\00:11:34.19
where Paul says...
00:11:34.19\00:11:35.92
Well, how does a person take
00:11:42.16\00:11:43.53
every thought captive?
00:11:43.53\00:11:45.23
Well, it starts by being
00:11:45.23\00:11:47.00
mindful of our thoughts.
00:11:47.00\00:11:49.67
So if I get a thought and I'm
00:11:49.67\00:11:51.57
mindful about it and I go,
00:11:51.57\00:11:53.17
"Wait a minute, that's not a"
00:11:53.17\00:11:54.58
"truthful thought," I take
00:11:54.58\00:11:56.04
that thought captive by
00:11:56.04\00:11:57.58
changing that thought into
00:11:57.58\00:11:58.95
something more truthful.
00:11:58.95\00:12:00.92
This is how we can change
00:12:02.22\00:12:04.19
those neuroconnections in our
00:12:04.19\00:12:05.79
brain and we begin to practice
00:12:05.79\00:12:07.56
thinking more truthful
00:12:07.56\00:12:09.56
thoughts which affects
00:12:09.56\00:12:11.09
how we behave.
00:12:11.09\00:12:12.56
You know, when we pray to God
00:12:13.86\00:12:16.90
and we say, "God, just be my"
00:12:16.90\00:12:20.67
vision," that's really saying,
00:12:20.67\00:12:23.67
"God, give me the ability to"
00:12:23.67\00:12:26.61
"see what's truthful."
00:12:26.61\00:12:28.54
中
00:12:28.54\00:12:37.29
丁e Thou my vision
00:12:37.29\00:12:41.06
力h Lord of my heart
00:12:41.06\00:12:45.33
刁aught be all else to me
00:12:45.33\00:12:49.26
山ave that Thou art
00:12:49.26\00:12:53.54
三hou my best thought
00:12:53.54\00:12:56.50
刃y day or by night
00:12:56.50\00:13:01.51
上aking or sleeping
00:13:01.51\00:13:04.85
三hy presence my light
00:13:04.85\00:13:09.98
中
00:13:09.98\00:13:18.53
丁e Thou my wisdom
00:13:18.53\00:13:21.93
丁e Thou my true word
00:13:21.93\00:13:26.30
儿 ever with Thee
00:13:26.30\00:13:29.84
兀nd Thou with me, Lord
00:13:29.84\00:13:34.04
三hou my great Father
00:13:34.04\00:13:38.21
儿 Thy true son
00:13:38.21\00:13:42.55
三hou in me dwelling
00:13:42.55\00:13:46.32
兀nd I with Thee one
00:13:46.32\00:13:51.59
卜iches I heed not
00:13:52.86\00:13:56.33
孓or man's empty praise
00:13:56.33\00:14:00.80
三hou my inheritance
00:14:00.80\00:14:04.44
孓ow and always
00:14:04.44\00:14:08.78
三hou and Thou only
00:14:08.78\00:14:13.01
口irst in my heart
00:14:13.01\00:14:17.55
人igh King of heaven
00:14:17.55\00:14:21.06
孑y treasure Thou art
00:14:21.06\00:14:27.10
>> So God can become a part of
00:14:28.30\00:14:30.17
our thoughts in when we ask
00:14:30.17\00:14:32.37
Him to be our vision and we
00:14:32.37\00:14:34.34
can think truthful thoughts.
00:14:34.34\00:14:35.94
Let's talk about behaviour and
00:14:35.94\00:14:36.97
the scriptures.
00:14:36.97\00:14:38.21
So is there something in the
00:14:38.21\00:14:39.37
scriptures that talk about
00:14:39.37\00:14:40.54
behaviour in relation to
00:14:40.54\00:14:42.18
cognitive behavioural therapy?
00:14:42.18\00:14:44.01
>> Yes there is, actually.
00:14:44.01\00:14:45.95
In 1 Corinthians 13:13 Paul
00:14:45.95\00:14:48.15
says there are...
00:14:48.15\00:14:49.68
Faith and hope are thoughts,
00:14:57.83\00:15:00.20
it's a way of thinking.
00:15:00.20\00:15:02.33
Positive thinking, trusting
00:15:02.33\00:15:03.83
thinking.
00:15:03.83\00:15:05.07
Love, though, is a verb.
00:15:05.53\00:15:07.90
A verb is an action,
00:15:07.90\00:15:09.40
an action word.
00:15:09.40\00:15:11.54
It's caring, it's nurturing,
00:15:11.54\00:15:13.61
it's comforting, it's helping.
00:15:13.61\00:15:15.44
And so when we do these
00:15:15.44\00:15:16.91
behaviours, it affects our
00:15:16.91\00:15:19.45
feelings and affects our
00:15:19.45\00:15:21.15
thoughts.
00:15:21.15\00:15:22.68
>> So, Don, let's go...
00:15:23.62\00:15:26.22
Let's go back to the brain.
00:15:26.22\00:15:28.66
One chapter in your book is
00:15:28.66\00:15:30.73
titled, "We Have Two Brains."
00:15:30.73\00:15:34.46
Can you explain that to us?
00:15:34.46\00:15:36.67
>> This is my favourite part
00:15:38.33\00:15:39.90
of counselling.
00:15:39.90\00:15:41.57
I love talking about the brain
00:15:41.57\00:15:43.34
because when people hear this
00:15:43.34\00:15:45.47
they go, "Now I know I'm not"
00:15:45.47\00:15:46.88
"crazy, I understand"
00:15:46.88\00:15:48.44
"myself now."
00:15:48.44\00:15:50.21
So let's think of it this way:
00:15:50.21\00:15:53.72
our brains actually
00:15:53.72\00:15:55.42
are two brains.
00:15:55.42\00:15:56.79
I'm gonna use my hands just to
00:15:58.42\00:15:59.82
quickly illustrate this.
00:15:59.82\00:16:01.46
I go into so much detail in my
00:16:01.46\00:16:02.96
book that I have to give you
00:16:02.96\00:16:04.36
the-- a very short version of
00:16:04.36\00:16:06.03
this, OK?
00:16:06.03\00:16:07.20
But this part of my hand, my
00:16:07.20\00:16:09.20
wrist, is my hind brain and my
00:16:09.20\00:16:11.77
hindbrain is a part of my
00:16:11.77\00:16:13.87
autonomic nervous system,
00:16:13.87\00:16:15.50
autonomic brain, or
00:16:15.50\00:16:16.77
unconscious brain.
00:16:16.77\00:16:17.87
The word, "autonomic," means
00:16:17.87\00:16:19.41
"automatic," it does things
00:16:19.41\00:16:20.78
for me without my choice;
00:16:20.78\00:16:22.18
keeps my heart beating,
00:16:22.18\00:16:23.71
breathing, digesting food,
00:16:23.71\00:16:25.91
but also things like if I
00:16:25.91\00:16:27.48
touch a hot stove, I do that,
00:16:27.48\00:16:29.78
and I didn't choose to do
00:16:29.78\00:16:31.15
that, this hindbrain did it
00:16:31.15\00:16:33.09
for me, without my choice,
00:16:33.09\00:16:35.22
to save my skin and my flesh,
00:16:35.22\00:16:36.86
obviously.
00:16:36.86\00:16:38.39
Now my thumb represents the
00:16:38.39\00:16:39.86
middle brain, the limbic
00:16:39.86\00:16:41.36
system, the emotional brain
00:16:41.36\00:16:43.60
and together, these form the
00:16:43.60\00:16:45.37
unconscious autonomic brain.
00:16:45.37\00:16:48.04
Over top of this, my fingers
00:16:48.04\00:16:49.94
represent the conscious brain,
00:16:49.94\00:16:51.94
where we can perceive our five
00:16:51.94\00:16:53.78
senses, you know, touch and
00:16:53.78\00:16:55.28
taste and smell, etcetera,
00:16:55.28\00:16:56.75
and right where my fingernails
00:16:56.75\00:16:57.95
are, frontal lobe, is where we
00:16:57.95\00:16:59.55
do our logical reasoning,
00:16:59.55\00:17:01.12
thinking.
00:17:01.12\00:17:02.08
Now we have two brains, we
00:17:03.15\00:17:04.92
have two memories as well.
00:17:04.92\00:17:07.29
We have an explicit memory
00:17:07.29\00:17:09.22
which is the conscious memory,
00:17:09.22\00:17:10.79
I can think about facts and
00:17:10.79\00:17:12.46
people and times and places.
00:17:12.46\00:17:15.40
But I have another memory,
00:17:15.40\00:17:17.03
an emotional memory.
00:17:17.03\00:17:19.37
Now the best way to describe
00:17:19.37\00:17:20.74
this is to tell you a little
00:17:20.74\00:17:22.60
story of when I was in grade
00:17:22.60\00:17:24.07
one and my mom gave me a
00:17:24.07\00:17:25.41
birthday party.
00:17:25.41\00:17:26.74
So what I'm doing now is I'm
00:17:26.74\00:17:27.98
remembering the facts.
00:17:27.98\00:17:29.74
We played pin the tail on the
00:17:29.74\00:17:31.21
donkey, we ate birthday cake
00:17:31.21\00:17:33.38
and it had coins wrapped in
00:17:33.38\00:17:35.22
wax paper buried in the cake.
00:17:35.22\00:17:37.99
But even right now, while I'm
00:17:37.99\00:17:41.12
telling you this story, I have
00:17:41.12\00:17:43.16
goosebumps all through my
00:17:43.16\00:17:45.39
arms, up my neck, my-- it is
00:17:45.39\00:17:47.86
just, it's a tingling, happy
00:17:47.86\00:17:49.80
feeling in my body.
00:17:49.80\00:17:52.13
That was the memory of that
00:17:52.13\00:17:54.07
day, stored here, and when I
00:17:54.07\00:17:57.64
touched or thought of this
00:17:57.64\00:17:59.41
memory, it triggered this
00:17:59.41\00:18:01.51
emotion and these body
00:18:01.51\00:18:03.48
sensations and I'm feeling the
00:18:03.48\00:18:05.91
day it happened.
00:18:05.91\00:18:07.52
Isn't that amazing?
00:18:07.52\00:18:08.95
[MIKE & REN巿 That is amazing.
00:18:08.95\00:18:10.82
>> So what about having a
00:18:10.82\00:18:12.15
traumatic thought?
00:18:12.15\00:18:13.39
What happens when you have a
00:18:13.39\00:18:14.59
traumatic experience and then
00:18:14.59\00:18:15.99
you think about that?
00:18:15.99\00:18:17.46
>> Exactly.
00:18:17.46\00:18:18.79
We all have memories we don't
00:18:19.59\00:18:21.56
like to think about.
00:18:21.56\00:18:23.13
Why don't we like to think
00:18:23.13\00:18:24.30
about them?
00:18:24.30\00:18:25.40
Because it hurts.
00:18:25.40\00:18:26.97
We get emotions that--
00:18:26.97\00:18:28.67
anxiety, fear, we can get
00:18:28.67\00:18:30.44
angry, sad, we can start
00:18:30.44\00:18:31.94
crying, and we can actually
00:18:31.94\00:18:33.74
feel pain, we can get pain in
00:18:33.74\00:18:35.48
our stomach, our chest, we can
00:18:35.48\00:18:37.58
get tight in our jaws.
00:18:37.58\00:18:40.18
These are emotional memories
00:18:40.18\00:18:42.25
and body sensations stored in
00:18:42.25\00:18:45.09
this unconscious,
00:18:45.09\00:18:46.19
automatic brain.
00:18:46.19\00:18:47.59
Now here's the thing, so this
00:18:48.22\00:18:50.16
memory has feeling, it has
00:18:50.16\00:18:52.06
body sensations, but it also
00:18:52.06\00:18:53.96
has a third type of memory.
00:18:53.96\00:18:56.10
This type of memory we call,
00:18:56.10\00:18:58.43
"feeling beliefs."
00:18:59.17\00:19:02.20
They're not necessarily
00:19:02.20\00:19:03.71
cognitive, but they still work
00:19:03.71\00:19:05.31
like beliefs, they create even
00:19:05.31\00:19:07.11
more feelings.
00:19:07.11\00:19:08.71
A "feeling belief" could be a
00:19:08.71\00:19:10.35
feeling like, "I'm stupid," or
00:19:10.35\00:19:11.48
something like that,
00:19:11.48\00:19:12.48
"I feel stupid."
00:19:12.48\00:19:13.88
So let me use an illustration
00:19:13.88\00:19:15.45
to show how this works.
00:19:15.45\00:19:17.12
Let's take-- let's pretend we
00:19:17.12\00:19:18.92
have a little boy, Johnny,
00:19:18.92\00:19:20.86
we'll call him Johnny and he's
00:19:20.86\00:19:22.16
just four and little Johnny is
00:19:22.16\00:19:23.79
playing with his toy airplane
00:19:23.79\00:19:25.23
and he's running around going
00:19:25.23\00:19:26.96
[propeller noise] you know,
00:19:26.96\00:19:28.06
with his toy airplane,
00:19:28.06\00:19:29.13
just being innocent.
00:19:29.13\00:19:30.87
But what Johnny doesn't know
00:19:30.87\00:19:32.13
is his dad has just come home
00:19:32.13\00:19:33.37
from work and let's say his
00:19:33.37\00:19:35.27
dad maybe had a really hard
00:19:35.27\00:19:36.57
day at work, maybe he's
00:19:36.57\00:19:38.21
worried about being fired and
00:19:38.21\00:19:40.34
he's sitting there and Johnny
00:19:40.34\00:19:41.94
comes flying by and for some
00:19:41.94\00:19:44.75
reason Dad just gets
00:19:44.75\00:19:46.28
triggered, he gets angry at
00:19:46.28\00:19:47.82
Johnny and he snaps at Johnny,
00:19:47.82\00:19:49.25
he says, "Johnny, I told you"
00:19:49.25\00:19:50.69
"a million times, I need"
00:19:50.69\00:19:52.25
"peace and quiet when I come"
00:19:52.25\00:19:53.29
"home from work."
00:19:53.29\00:19:54.36
"Go to your room and shut up."
00:19:54.36\00:19:55.92
Little Johnny bursts into
00:19:55.92\00:19:57.46
tears, he's feeling hurt and
00:19:57.46\00:19:59.13
he goes to his room and in
00:19:59.13\00:20:01.16
that moment, Johnny isn't
00:20:01.16\00:20:02.30
thinking, "Oh, I'm the"
00:20:02.30\00:20:03.70
"innocent kid, my dad probably"
00:20:03.70\00:20:04.80
"had a hard day at work."
00:20:04.80\00:20:05.73
No, he's just four.
00:20:05.73\00:20:07.34
He's feeling stupid, he's
00:20:07.34\00:20:09.47
feeling like, "I'm stupid."
00:20:09.47\00:20:10.74
"I don't remember my dad"
00:20:10.74\00:20:11.97
"telling me that."
00:20:11.97\00:20:13.31
And he's feeling like he's a
00:20:13.31\00:20:14.58
bad boy because he made his
00:20:14.58\00:20:17.11
dad angry, it's his fault.
00:20:17.11\00:20:19.68
Let's flash forward now, many
00:20:20.68\00:20:23.02
years in the future.
00:20:23.02\00:20:24.85
Johnny becomes John.
00:20:24.85\00:20:26.86
He's married to his lovely
00:20:26.86\00:20:28.69
wife, he loves her, she loves
00:20:28.69\00:20:30.49
him, but one day John is
00:20:30.49\00:20:32.46
innocently putting a bowl of
00:20:32.46\00:20:34.03
food into the microwave when
00:20:34.03\00:20:35.90
suddenly his wife, she raises
00:20:35.90\00:20:38.67
her voice and freaks out and
00:20:38.67\00:20:40.24
says, "Don't put that dish in"
00:20:40.24\00:20:41.47
"the microwave!"
00:20:41.47\00:20:42.87
And then he just goes [snap]
00:20:43.64\00:20:45.11
like snap.
00:20:45.11\00:20:46.34
Maybe he says something mean
00:20:46.34\00:20:47.64
to her, maybe he just throws
00:20:47.64\00:20:49.81
the bowl down and he walks out
00:20:49.81\00:20:51.41
and slams the door behind him,
00:20:51.41\00:20:52.65
maybe he doesn't talk to her
00:20:52.65\00:20:54.02
for two hours while he watches
00:20:54.02\00:20:55.12
football on TV.
00:20:55.12\00:20:56.75
What just happened there?
00:20:56.75\00:20:58.69
Well, he wasn't thinking of
00:20:58.69\00:21:00.26
his dad who probably had many
00:21:00.26\00:21:02.22
experiences like this as a
00:21:02.22\00:21:03.69
child, but in that moment, the
00:21:03.69\00:21:06.36
sound of her voice, the tone,
00:21:06.36\00:21:08.40
the volume, the words, trigger
00:21:08.40\00:21:12.07
all those feelings, emotions,
00:21:12.07\00:21:14.37
body sensations, and even the
00:21:14.37\00:21:16.40
feeling thoughts, "I'm stupid,
00:21:16.40\00:21:18.41
"I'm not a good husband," and
00:21:18.41\00:21:20.71
he moves those thoughts, move
00:21:20.71\00:21:22.84
into shame and they create a
00:21:22.84\00:21:25.58
fight, flight, or freeze
00:21:25.58\00:21:27.55
response in that moment.
00:21:27.55\00:21:30.19
It wasn't his choice, it was
00:21:31.35\00:21:32.99
just an automatic, like
00:21:32.99\00:21:34.56
survival, reaction
00:21:34.56\00:21:37.19
that happened to him.
00:21:37.19\00:21:39.03
Well, later, after his logical
00:21:39.03\00:21:42.83
brain reconnects and his
00:21:42.83\00:21:44.33
emotional brain isn't in
00:21:44.33\00:21:45.83
charge anymore, he goes,
00:21:45.83\00:21:47.40
"Oh, what have I done?"
00:21:47.40\00:21:49.57
And he goes and apologizes
00:21:49.57\00:21:51.21
and says, "I'm sorry for"
00:21:51.21\00:21:52.67
"acting so foolishly."
00:21:52.67\00:21:54.71
"Will you forgive me?"
00:21:54.71\00:21:55.88
"Can you tell me why"
00:21:55.88\00:21:56.85
"you said that?"
00:21:56.85\00:21:57.91
And she says, "Well, there's"
00:21:57.91\00:21:59.18
"metal trim, there's gold"
00:21:59.18\00:22:00.45
"trim around that bowl and I"
00:22:00.45\00:22:01.52
"was afraid you were gonna"
00:22:01.52\00:22:02.48
"destroy the microwave."
00:22:02.48\00:22:03.69
And he goes, "Oooh."
00:22:03.69\00:22:04.79
"I'm so sorry."
00:22:04.79\00:22:06.05
See, this is what trauma can
00:22:06.05\00:22:08.32
do, it can be buried in there
00:22:08.32\00:22:10.29
and be brought out and
00:22:10.29\00:22:11.43
triggered.
00:22:11.43\00:22:12.73
We say the past is present
00:22:12.73\00:22:14.13
when we're triggered.
00:22:14.13\00:22:15.76
I think we all know what we're
00:22:15.76\00:22:17.03
talking about, it happens to
00:22:17.03\00:22:18.63
us occasionally if not
00:22:18.63\00:22:20.20
many times.
00:22:20.20\00:22:21.37
I know it does with me.
00:22:21.37\00:22:23.07
But it kinda reminds me of
00:22:23.07\00:22:24.61
some words that Paul mentions
00:22:24.61\00:22:26.47
in Romans chapter 7, verse 15.
00:22:26.47\00:22:28.21
He says...
00:22:28.21\00:22:29.54
And I'm just skipping a few
00:22:37.62\00:22:38.99
lines here...
00:22:38.99\00:22:40.16
But he concludes with some
00:22:58.94\00:23:00.11
really great words...
00:23:00.11\00:23:01.24
You know, when it comes to
00:23:15.79\00:23:17.06
this whole concept of the
00:23:17.06\00:23:18.39
brain, when you think about it
00:23:18.39\00:23:20.86
God was really ingenious when
00:23:22.86\00:23:24.27
He created the brain because
00:23:24.27\00:23:26.00
if the brain did not work in
00:23:26.00\00:23:27.77
this fight, flight, or freeze
00:23:27.77\00:23:29.40
manner, there'd be many times
00:23:29.40\00:23:31.07
where we would be in danger
00:23:31.07\00:23:32.37
and we would be too slow
00:23:32.37\00:23:33.61
to act.
00:23:33.61\00:23:35.08
So really, in this sin-filled
00:23:35.08\00:23:36.68
world, we wouldn't live long
00:23:36.68\00:23:38.78
enough, really, to enjoy life.
00:23:38.78\00:23:42.72
But unfortunately, there's
00:23:42.72\00:23:44.39
times where there is no danger
00:23:44.39\00:23:46.42
and we act like there is a
00:23:46.42\00:23:48.49
danger and I think that's what
00:23:48.49\00:23:51.39
Jeremiah is referring to when
00:23:51.39\00:23:52.66
he says...
00:23:52.66\00:23:53.90
So sometimes we are just stuck
00:24:02.60\00:24:05.27
with these sinful natures and
00:24:05.27\00:24:07.61
sometimes they don't act the
00:24:07.61\00:24:09.51
way they're supposed to act.
00:24:09.51\00:24:11.61
>> So, wow, Don, do we have
00:24:11.61\00:24:15.72
any hope then in this area of
00:24:15.72\00:24:19.32
fight, flight, or freeze
00:24:19.32\00:24:21.19
behaviours?
00:24:21.19\00:24:22.72
>> Actually there is.
00:24:22.72\00:24:24.33
In the realm of counselling, I
00:24:25.39\00:24:28.16
and many counsellors around the
00:24:28.16\00:24:29.80
world, have been specifically
00:24:29.80\00:24:31.43
trained in trauma.
00:24:31.43\00:24:33.30
Not all counsellors are trained
00:24:33.30\00:24:34.74
in trauma, but I do some
00:24:34.74\00:24:36.37
trauma counselling that's been
00:24:36.37\00:24:37.91
scientifically researched and
00:24:37.91\00:24:39.47
it's incredible.
00:24:39.47\00:24:41.44
With the special techniques
00:24:41.44\00:24:43.11
that we can use, we can
00:24:43.11\00:24:44.98
actually change a person's
00:24:44.98\00:24:47.22
implicit brain and we can
00:24:47.22\00:24:49.98
neutralize these triggers
00:24:49.98\00:24:51.99
so that a person, when a
00:24:51.99\00:24:53.46
person has trauma and they
00:24:53.46\00:24:54.92
feel all these feelings, they
00:24:54.92\00:24:56.52
can think now of that trauma
00:24:56.52\00:24:59.33
visually in their minds, but
00:24:59.33\00:25:01.03
don't feel it in their bodies
00:25:01.03\00:25:02.73
and that helps with the
00:25:02.73\00:25:04.20
triggers.
00:25:04.20\00:25:05.70
But underneath all of this,
00:25:05.70\00:25:07.04
along with all of this types
00:25:07.04\00:25:08.70
of therapy, the cognitive
00:25:08.70\00:25:10.47
behavioural therapy, we as
00:25:10.47\00:25:12.44
Christians have the word of
00:25:12.44\00:25:14.28
God and it's important for us
00:25:14.28\00:25:17.05
to be daily reading the truth
00:25:17.05\00:25:19.38
of the Bible, especially the
00:25:19.38\00:25:20.72
four gospels, the words of
00:25:20.72\00:25:22.25
Jesus who tells us about our
00:25:22.25\00:25:23.85
true selves and our identity
00:25:23.85\00:25:25.79
in Him, and this is how we can
00:25:25.79\00:25:29.29
defeat the enemy, the Father
00:25:29.29\00:25:31.36
of Lies.
00:25:31.36\00:25:32.33
I mean, isn't this why this
00:25:33.26\00:25:35.53
show is called It Is Written,
00:25:35.53\00:25:36.93
right, because there's power
00:25:36.93\00:25:38.43
in our words because words
00:25:38.43\00:25:40.00
are thoughts.
00:25:40.00\00:25:41.90
Change the thoughts, change
00:25:41.90\00:25:43.51
the feelings, change the
00:25:43.51\00:25:44.94
behaviour.
00:25:44.94\00:25:46.01
>> Wow, Don, we completely
00:25:46.98\00:25:48.71
agree with you, the word of
00:25:48.71\00:25:50.11
God is so important.
00:25:50.11\00:25:52.78
But, Don, it's time to end now
00:25:52.78\00:25:55.08
and so I wonder, before we
00:25:55.08\00:25:56.52
end, could you please
00:25:56.52\00:25:57.82
pray for us?
00:25:57.82\00:25:59.19
>> Absolutely.
00:25:59.19\00:26:00.79
Father God, scripture tells us
00:26:02.42\00:26:04.86
that we are fearfully and
00:26:04.86\00:26:06.53
wonderfully made and who can
00:26:06.53\00:26:09.03
understand the heart, but You
00:26:09.03\00:26:11.07
know, You know us
00:26:11.07\00:26:12.47
inside and out.
00:26:12.47\00:26:14.47
And we thank You that, in
00:26:14.47\00:26:16.50
spite of all our imperfections
00:26:16.50\00:26:18.51
and our reactions, that You
00:26:18.51\00:26:20.71
still care for us and that
00:26:20.71\00:26:22.21
through Jesus we have the
00:26:22.21\00:26:24.98
assurance of Your love and
00:26:24.98\00:26:26.78
eternal life.
00:26:26.78\00:26:28.48
In Jesus' name I pray all
00:26:28.48\00:26:29.95
these things, amen.
00:26:29.95\00:26:31.35
[MIKE & REN巿 Amen.
00:26:31.35\00:26:32.55
>> Don, thank you so much for
00:26:32.55\00:26:34.12
showing us how scripture
00:26:34.12\00:26:36.06
aligns perfectly with science
00:26:36.06\00:26:38.43
and with professional
00:26:38.43\00:26:40.13
counselling and next time
00:26:40.13\00:26:41.53
you're going to be joining us
00:26:41.53\00:26:42.86
to share with us the important
00:26:42.86\00:26:44.20
topic of how to deal with
00:26:44.20\00:26:45.53
addictions so we look forward
00:26:45.53\00:26:47.07
to that.
00:26:47.07\00:26:48.10
>> Thank you.
00:26:48.10\00:26:49.24
>> Friends, Don Straub shared
00:26:50.91\00:26:52.31
with us an important question
00:26:52.31\00:26:54.21
found in Romans chapter 7:
00:26:54.21\00:26:56.51
"Why do I do what I do for"
00:26:56.51\00:26:58.95
"what I want to do that I do"
00:26:58.95\00:27:01.05
"not do, but what I hate that"
00:27:01.05\00:27:03.62
"I do, the solution, I thank"
00:27:03.62\00:27:05.75
"God through Jesus Christ,"
00:27:05.75\00:27:07.49
"our Lord."
00:27:07.49\00:27:09.12
>> Our free offer for you
00:27:09.12\00:27:10.59
today is Don Straub's book
00:27:10.59\00:27:13.06
entitled, Bridges to Freedom:
00:27:13.06\00:27:15.60
Creating Change Through
00:27:15.60\00:27:17.13
Science and Christian
00:27:17.13\00:27:18.77
Spirituality, which will help
00:27:18.77\00:27:21.27
you move closer to Jesus, get
00:27:21.27\00:27:23.77
past your setbacks, and learn
00:27:23.77\00:27:25.77
life lessons with the
00:27:25.77\00:27:27.51
essential bridges to freedom
00:27:27.51\00:27:29.61
described in this book.
00:27:29.61\00:27:31.85
>> Before you go, we would
00:27:33.58\00:27:35.18
also like to invite you to
00:27:35.18\00:27:36.82
follow us on Instagram and
00:27:36.82\00:27:38.69
Facebook and subscribe to our
00:27:38.69\00:27:40.39
YouTube channel and also
00:27:40.39\00:27:42.39
listen to our Podcasts.
00:27:42.39\00:27:44.56
And if you go to our website,
00:27:44.56\00:27:46.16
you can see our latest
00:27:46.16\00:27:47.60
programs, including our
00:27:47.60\00:27:49.43
cooking demonstrations, our
00:27:49.43\00:27:51.10
short spiritual messages
00:27:51.10\00:27:52.93
entitled, Daily Living, and
00:27:52.93\00:27:55.27
our exercise workouts called,
00:27:55.27\00:27:57.34
Experiencing Life.
00:27:57.34\00:27:59.34
>> We want you to experience
00:28:01.54\00:28:03.18
the truth found in the words
00:28:03.18\00:28:04.65
of Jesus when He said,
00:28:04.65\00:28:07.22
"It is written, man shall not"
00:28:07.22\00:28:09.55
"live by bread alone, but by"
00:28:09.55\00:28:12.22
"every word that proceeds"
00:28:12.22\00:28:14.72
"out of the mouth of God."
00:28:14.72\00:28:17.09
中
00:28:17.09\00:28:53.53