>> Let me throw a scenario at
you that some of you may be able
00:00:00.83\00:00:05.03
to relate to. Imagine that
you're sitting in the stands,
watching a local hockey game.
00:00:05.03\00:00:09.24
>> There are 300 other people
there, mostly families with
00:00:09.24\00:00:14.48
young children. >> And on the
ice, one of the players fires
the puck at the net.
00:00:14.48\00:00:18.35
It ricochets off another
player's stick, over the glass,
and into the stands, straight
00:00:18.35\00:00:23.28
towards you. >> The rock-hard
rubber disk punches into your
00:00:23.28\00:00:29.36
side, cracking three of your
ribs. >> And the excruciating
pain drops you to your knees,
00:00:29.36\00:00:34.30
'causing you to feel like you're
about to die. >> Someone calls
00:00:34.30\00:00:38.80
for an ambulance to take you to
the hospital right away. >> And
the next day, when they
00:00:38.80\00:00:42.94
release you from the hospital,
you return home. >> Now, if you
00:00:42.94\00:00:46.91
were honestly describing this
event to your friends the next
day, would you describe it as
00:00:46.91\00:00:53.15
fortunate or unfortunate? >>
When this question was posed to
groups of people, the
00:00:53.15\00:00:58.69
response is usually divided
70-30. >> Seventy percent claim
00:00:58.69\00:01:04.66
that it is an extremely
unfortunate situation, whereas
the other 30% believe it to be
00:01:04.66\00:01:11.60
undeniably fortunate. >> So, how
can people have such vastly
different interpretations
00:01:11.60\00:01:17.07
of the exact same event? >>
Well, let's look at some of the
00:01:17.07\00:01:22.48
explanations. >> Those in the
"unfortunate" camp gave answers
like the following.
00:01:22.48\00:01:26.05
>> "I should have stayed home.
This thing almost never happens.
How unlucky is it that I
00:01:26.05\00:01:32.32
happened to be there?" >>
Another one said, "I have three
00:01:32.32\00:01:37.03
cracked ribs. That is clearly
unfortunate." >> Or another
said, "I entered the hockey
00:01:37.03\00:01:42.43
arena perfectly healthy, and I
left in an ambulance. I don't
know about you, but
00:01:42.43\00:01:46.57
that's not my idea of a good
time." >> What about this one?
00:01:46.57\00:01:49.94
It's kind of humorous. "There
were at least 300 other people
at the hockey game.
00:01:49.94\00:01:54.58
Surely, someone deserved to get
hit with a puck more than me."
00:01:54.58\00:01:59.31
Maybe not. These people could
not understand how getting hit
by a high-speed hockey puck
00:01:59.31\00:02:05.35
could ever be viewed as a
fortunate occurrence until they
heard the explanation of those
00:02:05.35\00:02:11.83
who thought that it was
fortunate. >> One person who
thought it was fortunate
00:02:11.83\00:02:17.47
answered, "I could have been hit
somewhere far worse than my
ribs. I could have ended up with
00:02:17.47\00:02:23.07
brain damage or even died. I
feel incredibly fortunate." >>
Now, that's a good answer.
00:02:23.07\00:02:28.14
What about this one? "It's
amazing that no one else got
00:02:28.14\00:02:31.91
hurt. There were at least 300
other people at the hockey game,
including children.
00:02:31.91\00:02:36.72
It's unbelievably lucky that I
was the only one who got hurt."
>> Every mind has the ability to
00:02:36.72\00:02:43.83
make sense of the same
circumstance. Every brain
chooses to interpret
00:02:43.83\00:02:49.43
the event as a loss or a gain, a
setback or a new start. >> When
unexpected trials hit
00:02:49.43\00:02:57.04
us, do we dwell upon what we've
lost, or do we praise the Lord
for the blessings that we have
00:02:57.04\00:03:04.38
received? >> James, the brother
of Jesus, encourages us in James
00:03:04.38\00:03:11.19
1:2 to adopt a counterintuitive
mind-set when he writes, "My
brethren, count it all joy
00:03:11.19\00:03:17.46
when we fall into various
trials." >> I can't tell you how
00:03:17.46\00:03:22.30
many times I have been tempted
to let my trials destroy me. So,
let me give you some
00:03:22.30\00:03:27.94
examples. When I was 3 years
old, my parents got a divorce.
00:03:27.94\00:03:32.07
And my brothers and I, we ended
up in an orphanage. And when
some people hear that,
00:03:32.07\00:03:36.85
they get, "Oh, that's so tragic.
How can you go on?" Well, it got
00:03:36.85\00:03:41.55
worse. When I was 10, my eldest
brother, Joe, was killed in a
00:03:41.55\00:03:46.52
tractor accident. Then, when I
was 16, my mother committed
suicide. When I was 26, my
00:03:46.52\00:03:53.73
brother Pete, he fell 50 feet
from a scaffold, and he was
killed. However, if you were to
00:03:53.73\00:04:00.67
ask me today how my life is,
I would honestly answer, "It's
00:04:00.67\00:04:06.78
fantastic." And it's true. I
mean, I do love my life. And it
00:04:06.78\00:04:12.21
is fantastic, not because of all
the losses. That would be a
terrible interpretation.
00:04:12.21\00:04:16.32
I loved every one of those
people that God put into my
life, and I'm so thankful that
00:04:16.32\00:04:21.32
they're still in my heart. And
I'm even more grateful to know
that they're in God's heart
00:04:21.32\00:04:29.43
and that He has the keys to open
every single grave, and one day
soon He will do that and release
00:04:29.43\00:04:37.24
them from the influence of
death. >> Rather than feeling
00:04:37.24\00:04:42.24
like helpless victims of our
past, we can each know that we
are incredibly blessed to be
00:04:42.24\00:04:48.65
called children of God. Every
day, we fall on our knees and
thank Him for His many
00:04:48.65\00:04:54.36
blessings. With God, every
trial that knocks us down is an
00:04:54.36\00:04:59.83
opportunity for us to not fall
down but to fall up, to rise
higher than we could ever
00:04:59.83\00:05:06.74
imagine possible. >> So, if you
have ever felt like giving up,
like life is not worth living,
00:05:06.74\00:05:13.58
then I want to encourage you to
watch today's program, because
we'll be talking to Pastor
00:05:13.58\00:05:20.35
Philip Lee, who, after
experiencing a tragic loss that
shook his life, discovered the
00:05:20.35\00:05:27.39
blessings that you, too, may
experience in the midst of your
afflictions, how you can be
00:05:27.39\00:05:34.30
filled with joy and peace in
the midst of tragedy and pain.
00:05:34.30\00:05:38.57
い い
00:05:40.17\00:05:53.08
い
00:05:53.08\00:05:58.69
Thank you for choosing to join
us on "It Is Written Canada."
00:05:59.89\00:06:03.56
We are looking at the question
of tragedy and how trials come
00:06:03.56\00:06:06.63
into our lives. And in
James, the Bible James,
00:06:06.63\00:06:09.66
chapter 1, verse 2, James says,
"Count it all joy when you fall
00:06:09.66\00:06:14.07
into various trials."
And, of course, that is a test
00:06:14.07\00:06:17.94
of faith, to really
put your faith in God.
00:06:17.94\00:06:20.84
And we have with us today Pastor
Philip Lee, from the College
00:06:20.88\00:06:25.55
Park Seventh-Day Adventist
Church here in Oshawa, and he is
a man of faith. And so, we're
00:06:25.55\00:06:30.92
going to listen to his story. He
has a story of how God had led
him in the past, and how he
00:06:30.92\00:06:35.66
went through a shocking
experience. So, thank you for
00:06:35.66\00:06:40.00
joining us, Pastor Philip, and
we're just so honored that you
took your time to be with us
00:06:40.00\00:06:44.43
today. >> Thank you so much for
having me here. It's my honor
00:06:44.43\00:06:48.00
and privilege to be here this
morning. >> So, tell us
something about yourself.
00:06:48.00\00:06:52.57
>> Well, I guess all I
can say, I'm a blessed man.
00:06:52.61\00:06:55.61
God has been so good to me, and
I'm married to a beautiful wife,
00:06:55.61\00:06:59.35
Emily, and I have two
children, Enoch and Chloe.
00:06:59.35\00:07:02.78
And I thank the Lord for
His blessings. >> Mm. They are
00:07:02.82\00:07:07.26
blessings. >> So, Pastor Philip,
you have been in the ministry
now for quite a while, and I'm
00:07:07.26\00:07:13.16
sure you do believe in miracles.
But I'm gonna ask you, anyway.
Do you believe in miracles?
00:07:13.16\00:07:18.50
>> Yes, I do. In fact, I preach
about miracles, and, actually,
00:07:18.50\00:07:24.21
my life itself is a miracle. I
was born into the Lee family,
and, according to my
00:07:24.21\00:07:29.84
grandmother, I shouldn't have
survived this long. And when I
00:07:29.84\00:07:35.48
was born, I came about close to
8 weeks early and was premature
baby, and I was weighing less
00:07:35.48\00:07:41.69
than 4 pounds. >> Wow, that's a
premature baby. So, it sounds
like your grandmother was a lady
00:07:41.69\00:07:46.13
of faith. Can you tell us about
your family background, in terms
of faith and Christianity?
00:07:46.13\00:07:51.80
>> Actually, they were not
Christians to begin with. >> Oh.
00:07:51.80\00:07:55.77
>> My grandparents, and they
both were successful businessmen
in capital city of Seoul, Korea.
00:07:55.77\00:08:01.91
>> Mm-hmm. >> So, they were
doing the business, and things
00:08:01.91\00:08:05.25
are going well until one day,
and they get an invitation from
a friend, saying that there's a
00:08:05.25\00:08:11.52
huge event taking place, and
they invited them. It was a
Bible-prophecy seminar.
00:08:11.52\00:08:15.99
>> Mm. >> So, that one led them,
and they were just curious, but
00:08:15.99\00:08:20.80
they started attending the
seminars, and my grandfather was
a little bit hesitant.
00:08:20.80\00:08:25.13
>> Mm-hmm. >> My
grandfather wasn't convicted.
00:08:25.13\00:08:27.87
So, she gave herself to the
Lord. She became a Christian.
00:08:27.87\00:08:31.61
And let me tell you. My whole
family is a miracle, because my
grandfather had some
00:08:31.61\00:08:38.88
influences under alcohol, and he
wasn't the best father. He
wasn't the best husband.
00:08:38.88\00:08:45.59
>> So, your grandmother was
fully in. She learned from the
00:08:45.59\00:08:49.36
Bible. She gave her heart to the
Lord, but your grandfather
wasn't. >> Yeah, first time she
00:08:49.36\00:08:55.16
was introduced to the Bible
prophecy in the Bible, and it
00:08:55.16\00:08:59.40
was night and day. She became a
faithful Christian since that
time, but it was a different
00:08:59.40\00:09:04.34
story for my grandfather. >>
Yes. >> And he was an alcoholic.
00:09:04.34\00:09:07.94
He wasn't the best father
figure, in a way. It took him a
00:09:07.94\00:09:13.05
while, but gradually and
thankfully he became a
Christian, as well. >> Mm.
00:09:13.05\00:09:17.65
>> Let me tell you.
Bible is powerful. >> It is.
00:09:17.65\00:09:20.42
>> I think he should have died a
long time ago. Because the
Bible, he made some
00:09:20.42\00:09:24.93
change in his life. He only
passed away last year. He was at
00:09:24.93\00:09:29.26
the age of 104. >> Whoa! >> I
thank the Lord for that. >> Wow,
00:09:29.26\00:09:32.57
praise the Lord. >> So, your
grandparents were a very strong
example for you and your
00:09:32.57\00:09:38.34
parents, as well. So, did you
continuously follow their
example and become a strong
00:09:38.34\00:09:45.88
Christian, as well? >> I thought
so. I mean, I was born into this
faith community, and church life
00:09:45.88\00:09:51.79
was normal, and I grew up having
a family worship at home,
reading the Bible, reading
00:09:51.79\00:09:57.99
Scriptures and prayer and
witnessing and sharing about
00:09:57.99\00:10:03.13
Christ. I thought I was a pretty
strong Christian until I came to
00:10:03.13\00:10:08.24
Canada. I was 17 when I first
came to Canada. And I didn't
know much about the
00:10:08.24\00:10:14.24
language until my experience
in British Columbia. >> Mm.
00:10:14.24\00:10:19.35
So, you went to school in
British Columbia. >> Yes, I did.
00:10:19.35\00:10:22.78
>> And what happened there? >>
It was a beautiful school. It's
00:10:22.78\00:10:28.16
situated in British Columbia,
beautiful boarding, Christian
00:10:28.16\00:10:32.46
school. >> Mm-hmm. >> One day I
got a call from my uncle, who
was living in Vancouver.
00:10:32.46\00:10:36.83
>> Mm-hmm. >> He says,
"Can I come and visit you?"
00:10:36.83\00:10:41.10
I thought it was very strange
because he doesn't really
normally visit, not during that
00:10:41.10\00:10:45.57
time. He said, "I got to come
and talk to you face-to-face."
00:10:45.57\00:10:48.81
So, I knew that something
was not right. >> Mm-hmm.
00:10:48.81\00:10:52.61
>> So, next day, as he promised,
he came. I got a knock on my
00:10:52.61\00:10:57.19
door. I welcomed him, and I knew
that something was not right. He
looked very serious.
00:10:57.19\00:11:02.22
He looked very depressed. He
came to my room, and he said,
00:11:02.22\00:11:08.33
"Phil, sit down. I have
something I got to share with
you. You got to grab hold of
00:11:08.33\00:11:12.30
yourself." >> Mm-hmm. >>
He says, "Last night, the
00:11:12.30\00:11:16.81
mother died." >> Mm. >>
I thought what he meant was
00:11:16.81\00:11:20.98
my grandmother. That's his
mother, right? And he said, "No,
00:11:20.98\00:11:26.05
no, not your grandmother, but
your mother passed away." >> Mm!
00:11:26.05\00:11:30.69
>> I thought it was very
strange. "What do you mean?
00:11:30.69\00:11:34.22
I just saw her two weeks ago.
She came to visit here two weeks
00:11:34.22\00:11:38.53
ago. I just talked to her
last night. What do you mean?"
00:11:38.53\00:11:42.23
>> Mm. >> And he
said, "It's hard to believe.
00:11:42.23\00:11:44.70
I'm still trying to process my
thoughts, but your mom passed
away yesterday morning."
00:11:44.70\00:11:52.07
And that changed my life. >>
Mm-hmm. >> It basically changed
00:11:52.07\00:12:01.52
my life upside down. My whole
world was changed, because I
thought I was living a
00:12:01.52\00:12:06.59
normal Christian life until
that time. I really enjoyed the
00:12:06.59\00:12:11.13
school. We have a wonderful
staff. I enjoyed the programs.
And then this thing shook me.
00:12:11.13\00:12:18.53
>> Mm. >> And I wasn't sure what
kind of emotions I was dealing
00:12:18.53\00:12:23.37
with. >> Yeah. >> Mm-hmm.
>> And basically my foundation
00:12:23.37\00:12:27.01
was shaking. >> Mm-hmm. >>
I thought I had a pretty good
00:12:27.01\00:12:30.65
understanding of who God is --
a God who understands, who cares
00:12:30.65\00:12:34.95
for us. >> Mm-hmm. >> That
got changed all the sudden.
00:12:34.95\00:12:37.95
>> Mm-hmm. >> To make things
worse, I couldn't go back to my
00:12:37.95\00:12:42.39
mom's funeral due to some of the
immigration issues I was facing
00:12:42.39\00:12:47.10
at the time. So, I was asked to
remain at school. My brother
went, represented the
00:12:47.10\00:12:53.30
family. I was in my room.
Literally two weeks in a row, I
00:12:53.30\00:12:58.61
was in my room. I didn't even
move an inch. I wasn't hungry. I
00:12:58.61\00:13:05.21
didn't eat. I wasn't even
thirsty. But my brain was fully
00:13:05.21\00:13:10.25
functioning. I was processing my
thoughts. Started asking
questions, "Why and why and
00:13:10.25\00:13:16.52
why?" I believe that's a
question that everyone is
asking, even today. >>
00:13:16.52\00:13:21.63
Absolutely. >> I know the babies
are asking those questions.
Teenagers are asking questions.
00:13:21.63\00:13:25.63
I think we do, too. I was
going through the question.
00:13:25.63\00:13:30.37
As I mentioned, I grew up a
Christian, so I believe in God.
I thought I believe in God.
00:13:30.37\00:13:36.58
I thought I understand who God
is until that time. I wasn't
sure who God was in my
00:13:36.58\00:13:42.45
life. So, basically, if I
do recall, that was one of the
00:13:42.45\00:13:49.32
worst experiences of my life. >>
Mm-hmm. >> When I think of it, I
00:13:49.32\00:13:54.30
still remember all the emotions
I was going through in my mind.
00:13:54.30\00:14:00.44
I wasn't sure why. For two weeks
of my time there, I wasn't sure
whether I'm dreaming or whether
00:14:00.44\00:14:09.01
I'm in real life, because I
would have oftentimes
nightmares. Sometimes I'll wake
00:14:09.01\00:14:13.38
up in my dream, too. >>
Mm. >> I was meeting my mom.
00:14:13.38\00:14:17.75
When I wake up, thinking and
knowing that my mom's no longer
there, it just drove me crazy.
00:14:17.75\00:14:23.39
>> Yeah. >> I guess
I was really depressed.
00:14:23.39\00:14:27.30
>> Mm-hmm. >> So, the two weeks
was extended -- two weeks of an
00:14:27.30\00:14:32.17
intense emotional turmoil I was
going through -- and it became
next two years was worst time of
00:14:32.17\00:14:39.24
my life. So, thinking about it
day and night for weeks, I came
00:14:39.24\00:14:48.85
to basically two conclusions
in my life. I said, number one,
00:14:48.85\00:14:57.99
maybe God does not exist. If God
that my dad talked about, he
preached about, there is no
00:14:57.99\00:15:05.43
way that this will be allowed
into someone's life. I said,
00:15:05.43\00:15:12.67
"You know what? There's no
God." That was my number-one
00:15:12.67\00:15:16.68
conclusion. And number two, I
left a little bit of a doubt
there, too. If there is God, I
00:15:16.68\00:15:22.48
concluded there's no way
that it's God of love that Bible
00:15:22.48\00:15:26.99
talks about. >> Mm-hmm. >> Bible
talks about God is merciful,
00:15:26.99\00:15:31.69
He's loving, He's forgiving,
He cares for His children. >>
00:15:31.69\00:15:35.26
Mm-hmm. >> And in my mind -- I
was only about 18 at the time --
but in my logic, my reasoning,
00:15:35.26\00:15:42.14
there was no way that's God of
love. So, I concluded, "That's
it. I think my Christian journey
00:15:42.14\00:15:49.11
ends right there." >> Mm-hmm.
>> So, then, Pastor Philip, you
00:15:49.11\00:15:54.38
became an atheist then but you
still continued staying at that
00:15:54.38\00:16:00.19
Christian school. >> And that's
why it was one of the worst
times of my life. It was a
00:16:00.19\00:16:07.40
Christian boarding school. I
loved the school. It was
fantastic, situated in
00:16:07.40\00:16:11.37
B.C., beautiful valley. Programs
were fantastic. Staff was very
00:16:11.37\00:16:16.57
supportive. I enjoyed the
academics of it. So, I didn't
want to leave that place.
00:16:16.57\00:16:21.54
At the same time, it was a
Christian school. So, I decided
00:16:21.54\00:16:26.92
in my mind, "You know what? I'm
going to finish my high school
here, 'cause I really
00:16:26.92\00:16:31.89
enjoy here. At the same
time, I'm not going to live as a
00:16:31.89\00:16:36.93
Christian." I said, "You know
what? Because the conclusion I
made, from now on, whether I
00:16:36.93\00:16:43.77
like it or not, that's my
choice. I am an atheist." So,
basically, about next year
00:16:43.77\00:16:51.44
and a half, I lived my
life, double life. >> Mm.
00:16:51.44\00:16:57.08
>> Which is kind of interesting.
I think probably many people do
00:16:57.08\00:17:01.65
not admit it. I think that's how
we live in today's world. Not
00:17:01.65\00:17:06.35
only teenagers. You know, those
married couples, seniors.
Oftentimes, we live our double
00:17:06.35\00:17:12.66
standards. That's how I
lived, because it was Christian
00:17:12.66\00:17:19.00
boarding school, and school
began very early. I believe 6:00
was our morning worship service.
00:17:19.00\00:17:25.04
I had to be there. Actually,
to make things worse, I was
00:17:25.04\00:17:30.65
assistant dean, student dean.
That means waking kids up, get
them ready for worship.
00:17:30.65\00:17:36.75
Oftentimes, that involves
leading the worship, preaching,
and singing and prayers.
00:17:36.75\00:17:43.93
>> So, you're living this double
standard, as you know in your
heart, in your mind, "I'm
00:17:43.93\00:17:50.63
preaching to others. I'm
encouraging them to pray. But I
don't believe in God."
00:17:50.63\00:17:56.77
How'd you get through that?
>> Mm-hmm. >> I didn't do well.
00:17:56.77\00:18:00.98
>> Mm. >> Because it's two
schools of thought I was dealing
00:18:00.98\00:18:05.91
with. One was leading this way.
The other one was leading this
00:18:05.91\00:18:10.59
way. The further I went on in
both journeys, I realized it was
pulling me apart, because I
00:18:10.59\00:18:16.39
appeared to be a very good
Christian. According to the
00:18:16.39\00:18:20.93
staff and teachers, they said,
"He is a perfect example of
being a good Christian."
00:18:20.93\00:18:25.37
>> Mm. >> 'Cause I was up in the
front, leading and leading the
00:18:25.37\00:18:29.64
children to Christ, whereas I
didn't really believe in Him. I
00:18:29.64\00:18:35.58
stopped praying. I stopped
reading the word of God. I
appeared to be a very good
00:18:35.58\00:18:41.15
Christian. However, I have
my mask on. In real life, in my
00:18:41.15\00:18:46.99
room, I was dealing with all the
doubt. I was reminding myself,
"I'm no longer a Christian."
00:18:46.99\00:18:53.19
>> Mm. >> "I don't believe in
God, so I'm gonna live my life."
00:18:53.19\00:18:58.13
>> That must have been so
stressful, living that double
00:18:58.13\00:19:02.30
life. >> Mm-hmm. >> Must have
caused a lot of stress for you.
00:19:02.30\00:19:06.07
>> And, I mean, I'm looking at
you now, and you're a pastor.
How did you do that?
00:19:06.07\00:19:11.25
How did you become? Because
obviously you're not an atheist
00:19:11.25\00:19:15.68
anymore. >> Thank God I am not.
[ Laughter ] First of all, I
00:19:15.68\00:19:21.52
thank the Lord for bringing me
back. And there was some actual
point in my life actually I
00:19:21.52\00:19:27.86
wanted to quit my life, end
my life. >> You're talking about
00:19:27.86\00:19:32.47
suicide. >> Yes. >> Mm. >> After
two weeks of that turmoil in my
00:19:32.47\00:19:37.57
mind, and entering to early
stage of depression in my life.
So, for about a year and a half,
00:19:37.57\00:19:42.58
I was depressed in such a way
that I could not really know
whether I'm depressed or not.
00:19:42.58\00:19:49.28
But I was depressed. And living
a double life gave me a great
00:19:49.28\00:19:55.52
deal of stress. I was not
sleeping well. And I was not
eating well. At the same time, I
00:19:55.52\00:20:01.73
have to meet certain standards.
So, I tried to do my best. At
the same time, my body was
00:20:01.73\00:20:06.20
failing. I got sick often.
Especially in my mind became
00:20:06.20\00:20:11.71
very sick. >> Mm-hmm. >>
One day I was lying down,
00:20:11.71\00:20:16.24
tried to fall asleep. I
was struggling. When you try to
00:20:16.24\00:20:20.98
sleep, but when you cannot, you
just struggle in your mind. >>
Your mind is just going and
00:20:20.98\00:20:25.39
going and going. Yeah.
>> So, I came to a thought
00:20:25.39\00:20:28.06
saying that, "You know what?
There's no point of living like
00:20:28.06\00:20:32.39
this." >> Mm-hmm. >> So, what
can I do? I don't have much of
00:20:32.39\00:20:38.03
hope. Maybe last hope that I
have is ending my own life from
this misery and depression
00:20:38.03\00:20:46.61
and these suicidal thoughts.
>> Mm-hmm. >> So, next few days,
00:20:46.61\00:20:52.61
secretly I was looking for ways
to end my life. I mentioned the
00:20:52.61\00:20:58.85
school is situated in beautiful
B.C. The school is overlooking
00:20:58.85\00:21:04.03
the Fraser Valley. It's built on
a cliff. So, I thought about
maybe jumping off a cliff.
00:21:04.03\00:21:09.16
Maybe that will end my life.
That would be too tragic. I
thought maybe it's too
00:21:09.16\00:21:14.20
painful. >> Mm-hmm. Did
you talk to anyone about
00:21:14.20\00:21:17.34
this? >> No. >> You
didn't share this with
00:21:17.34\00:21:19.77
anyone, how you were feeling? >>
Because of the double standards,
00:21:19.77\00:21:22.74
because of double life I had. >>
You were scared, yeah. >> I was
00:21:22.74\00:21:26.05
scared. >> Mm-hmm. So, what
would you say to someone who
00:21:26.05\00:21:29.38
would be in your situation
today? What would you say? "You
need to talk to someone."
00:21:29.38\00:21:33.29
>> I think so. I think that's
the advice I'd like to give.
00:21:33.29\00:21:36.69
>> Mm-hmm. >> I thought I
was alone, struggling alone.
00:21:36.69\00:21:39.93
I realized I was not. >>
Was there someone there for you?
00:21:39.93\00:21:42.76
>> Actually, there were many
people there for me. First of
all, my brother was
00:21:42.76\00:21:46.97
there with me. >> Mm-hmm.
>> I think he knew what was
00:21:46.97\00:21:49.64
going on, but not fully. So, he
tried to be there every chance
00:21:49.64\00:21:53.91
he has. >> Mm-hmm. >> And number
two, I thank the Lord for my
00:21:53.91\00:21:58.48
father. He's a man of faith.
I admire him. I respect him. Now
00:21:58.48\00:22:03.75
I'm married. Understand what it
means to have a spouse. I can't
even imagine losing my
00:22:03.75\00:22:09.66
family, especially
losing my wife. >> Yeah.
00:22:09.66\00:22:13.26
>> For me at the time, I lost my
mother. But for my dad, he lost
00:22:13.26\00:22:19.33
his life partner. They did
everything together. I'm not
sure what it meant for
00:22:19.33\00:22:26.61
him, but I realized there's
something different about him
00:22:26.61\00:22:32.28
that I realized. My faith was so
weak. When I look back, I
realize I didn't have a good
00:22:32.28\00:22:39.22
foundation. I had the knowledge.
I read the Bible. I went to
00:22:39.22\00:22:43.56
worship services. I went to
Christmas, and I know. I even
talked about, taught others
00:22:43.56\00:22:48.96
about Christ. However, I didn't
have a good foundation. But when
I looked at my dad, I
00:22:48.96\00:22:53.90
saw something that I didn't
have but he had. >> Mm-hmm.
00:22:53.90\00:22:58.84
>> That was faith that was so
real. Mine was very superficial.
00:22:58.84\00:23:04.11
But what he had was strong, so
tangible, I was able to hear. I
was able to see it.
00:23:04.11\00:23:11.19
>> So, it was your dad's
influence that changed you. >>
He didn't push me, and he
00:23:11.19\00:23:18.59
didn't force me. I think
he knew. I didn't tell him
00:23:18.59\00:23:22.80
everything, all the details, but
he knew what was going on. We're
still talking about '90s.
00:23:22.80\00:23:28.20
So, he wrote me a letter every
single week. He was in Korea
00:23:28.20\00:23:33.81
still, and I was in Canada. He
wrote me a letter, international
00:23:33.81\00:23:37.38
mail. I was expecting
every single week. >> Wow.
00:23:37.38\00:23:40.28
>> Came faithfully for
about 18 months. >> Mm.
00:23:40.28\00:23:43.89
>> Letter of encouragement. He
wrote me how much he loves me.
00:23:43.89\00:23:50.23
He wrote me how sorry he was,
not being there for me. >> Mm.
00:23:50.23\00:23:55.43
>> And he wrote me letters of
encouragement. I couldn't -- I
00:23:55.43\00:24:00.40
still keep them there. From
time to time, I take them out.
00:24:00.40\00:24:03.20
I read them. It gives
me encouragement and hope.
00:24:03.20\00:24:06.27
>> Mm-hmm. >> So, I knew that
he will not stop praying for me.
00:24:06.27\00:24:11.48
He said he prayed for me day and
night until I came back to the
00:24:11.48\00:24:16.75
Lord. >> So, you came back to
the Lord through your dad's
prayers. How did the Bible play
00:24:16.75\00:24:23.43
a part in that? >> No, actually,
the Bible play a prominent role
00:24:23.43\00:24:28.90
there. So, it's only a few days
before I determined to end my
00:24:28.90\00:24:34.87
life. >> Mm-hmm. >> Thinking
about ending my life, I got very
scared. I started processing all
00:24:34.87\00:24:40.48
my thoughts once again. I start
asking questions again, "Why?
00:24:40.48\00:24:44.55
What if?" I said, "What if
what my dad believes is true?
00:24:44.55\00:24:50.42
What if Bible is truly
word of God?" >> Mm-hmm.
00:24:50.42\00:24:53.82
>> Then I'm missing out
whole, a lot of it. >> Mm-hmm.
00:24:53.82\00:24:57.76
>> So, I said, "Let's push it a
little bit further. Let's
postpone maybe one more
00:24:57.76\00:25:05.30
week. I mean, I can end
my life any time I want.
00:25:05.30\00:25:10.04
But let's give it a last
chance." I pulled out my Bible.
00:25:10.04\00:25:13.61
By the time -- has a lot of dust
on the cover. I took it out.
00:25:13.61\00:25:18.51
I said -- this time I didn't
even say, "God." I said, "You --
00:25:18.51\00:25:24.95
are you there, really?" >> Mm.
"If God, you're there, speak to
00:25:24.95\00:25:29.32
me." I said, "Maybe I'm gonna
read the Bible one last time to
00:25:29.32\00:25:37.03
see if there's anything I
missed. Maybe there is power." I
just wanted rule out, make
00:25:37.03\00:25:43.44
sure that, you know, this is
not falsely accused. So, I start
00:25:43.44\00:25:49.14
reading the Bible from that
night on. I'm not sure how long
it took, but it took me a while.
00:25:49.14\00:25:54.72
But I didn't stop. Every chance
I have, besides schoolwork,
every chance I have,
00:25:54.72\00:26:00.52
I start reading the Bible,
chapter after chapter, book
00:26:00.52\00:26:05.29
after book. I started from
Genesis all the way to
Revelation. And by the time I
00:26:05.29\00:26:10.90
finished the Bible, I became a
different man. >> Wow. >> Is
there a Bible verse that
00:26:10.90\00:26:16.67
you would recommend that really
gave you hope? >> The one that
00:26:16.67\00:26:23.18
comes to me all the time is
Isaiah 41:10. >> Mm-hmm. >> And
when I was going through,
00:26:23.18\00:26:28.65
this Bible verse broke me.
00:26:28.65\00:26:31.32
Isaiah 41:10 says,
"Fear not, for I am with you."
00:26:31.35\00:26:35.46
This is what
God's speaking to me.
00:26:35.46\00:26:37.53
"Be not dismayed,
for I am your God.
00:26:37.53\00:26:40.76
I will strengthen
you. Yes, I will help you.
00:26:40.76\00:26:45.37
I will uphold you with
my righteous right hand."
00:26:45.37\00:26:49.04
He didn't say, "I may" or "I
might." He says, "I will do it."
00:26:49.07\00:26:52.74
>> Mm. Mm. >> So, I
was crying, basically
00:26:52.74\00:26:55.81
reading this verse. I realized
He's always been there for me.
00:26:55.81\00:27:01.38
It was me turned away from Him.
>> Hmm. >> And along the way,
00:27:01.38\00:27:06.62
from reading the Bible, the
questions I had earlier on, I
00:27:06.62\00:27:11.83
found the answers. >> Pastor
Philip, such a personal story.
Thank you for sharing it and
00:27:11.83\00:27:17.53
being so vulnerable. Can I ask
you to pray for us as we close?
00:27:17.53\00:27:21.47
>> I'd be honored. >> Mm-hmm.
>> Father in Heaven, we want to
00:27:21.47\00:27:25.41
thank you for the power we'll be
able to find in the word of God.
I know the word of God changed
00:27:25.41\00:27:31.65
my life. I pray that you
are willing to change anyone who
00:27:31.65\00:27:36.45
comes to you to change their
lives, also. I want to thank you
for a living God who hears and
00:27:36.45\00:27:42.96
answers our prayers. In
Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.
00:27:42.96\00:27:45.99
>> Amen. >> Amen.
Friends, today, if you have been
00:27:45.99\00:27:49.60
touched by Pastor Philip Lee's
story, we have a free offer for
00:27:49.60\00:27:54.24
you. It is, "Where Is God When
I'm Hurting?" And to receive
00:27:54.24\00:27:59.07
that free offer, here is
the information you need.
00:27:59.07\00:28:01.98
>> To request
today's offer, just log on to
00:28:02.01\00:28:05.51
www.ItIsWrittenCanada.ca.
If you prefer, you may call
00:28:05.51\00:28:10.92
toll-free at 1-888-CALL-IIW.
And thank you for your prayer
00:28:10.92\00:28:16.79
requests and your
generous financial support.
00:28:16.79\00:28:20.06
>> Pastor Philip, thank you for
encouraging my faith and the
faith of our viewers that God is
00:28:20.10\00:28:25.63
real, and He is working. He
is alive and well in our lives
00:28:25.63\00:28:30.14
today. Friends, I just want to
thank you for joining us, as
well, and remember the words of
00:28:30.14\00:28:37.05
Jesus when He said, "It is
written. Man shall not live by
bread alone, but by every word
00:28:37.05\00:28:43.25
that proceeds out
of the mouth of God."
00:28:43.25\00:28:46.65
い い
00:28:46.69\00:28:58.50