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Series Code: IIWC
Program Code: IIWC201727A
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01:31 >> It has stood the test of time -- 01:34 God's book, the Bible, still relevant 01:39 in today's complex world. "It Is Written" -- 01:45 sharing messages of hope around the world. 01:50 ♪♪ ♪♪ 02:02 >> Dear friend, thank you so much for watching 02:03 "It Is Written Canada." Today, I am joined by 02:07 special guest Dr. Neil Nedley. Dr. Nedley, 02:11 welcome to the program. >> Thank you. 02:13 It's good to be here, Chris. >> Dr. Nedley is no stranger to the "It Is Written Canada" 02:18 audience. Dr. Nedley has been featured on our program a number of times. 02:23 Dr. Nedley, we've talked about mental health. We've talked about depression. 02:27 We've talked about a number of different topics. Now, today, we're going to talk 02:32 about a kind of a provocative topic as we talk about sex and mental health. 02:38 Now, to our audience, we're going to be discussing a mature topic, 02:42 but we will be discussing it in an appropriate way. Dr. Nedley, before we get 02:48 into this topic, I want to talk to you a little bit about Weimar Institute. 02:52 >> Mm-hmm. >> You are the president of that institution, 02:54 which is both an educational institution but also an institution of healing. 02:59 >> Mm-hmm. >> Talk to me a little bit about the New Start Program 03:03 and some of the other lifestyle programs that you offer at Weimar 03:07 that may be able to help people that are having some type of chronic lifestyle issues. 03:12 >> Well, Weimar is known as an obesity treatment center. 03:15 It has one of, really, the best treatment for obesity 03:18 on planet Earth, and that's a problem 03:22 has dramatically risen in our world as of late. Also, for coronary artery 03:28 disease or vascular disease, high blood pressure, diabetes. We treat a lot of advanced 03:35 diabetes at Weimar, and we're able to actually reverse that disease. 03:40 On top of it, we have programs for depression recovery, anxiety recovery, OCD, 03:47 obsessive compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, panic disorder. 03:52 Those are things that will dramatically improve if not be completely eradicated 03:57 in the vast majority of cases at Weimar Institute. >> And how might an individual 04:02 learn about those programs and how they can get to those programs, the different 04:07 questions they may have? >> Yeah, newstart.org 04:09 would be a good way to start, or depressionrecoveryprogram.com 04:15 would also be a good way to start, 04:18 but you can also log on to the educational component 04:21 at weimar.edu. >> Fantastic. 04:25 Now as we get into this topic of sex and mental health, 04:30 it doesn't take a lot of time on the Internet 04:33 or in the newspapers to see that sex 04:38 and that topic really just all over the headlines. So let's just talk from 04:46 a practical standpoint. Sexual problems -- are they increasing or decreasing 04:52 in the world today? >> They're increasing significantly. 04:56 There's more sexually transmitted diseases than ever before. 05:00 There is more rape than ever before. There are more problems 05:06 with sex crimes than ever before in human history, and we are living 05:14 in a sexualized, sexually provocative society, and the sexual revolution 05:21 has produced its sexual complications, and unfortunately, those sexual 05:28 complications of what we're hearing about in the news is just the tip of the iceberg. 05:34 Underneath it, it's even worse than what you even might imagine by listening to the news. 05:40 >> We're going to talk about this in relation to mental health, 05:45 and, you know, as you read and you hear different individuals talking, 05:52 let's just start with a very bottom-line question, and let's talk about sex itself. 05:58 Is it possible for an individual to have too much sex? >> Absolutely, it is, and, 06:04 in fact, first, we found this out in animal studies, and then have subsequently 06:10 found it out in human studies, but, you know, the interesting thing is, when you drop 06:17 a receptive female rat into a male rat's cage, first, you'll see a frenzy 06:24 of copulation, but eventually, that male rat tires of that particular female 06:29 even if she wants more. He has had enough, but then drop in a new female, 06:36 and then you see that frenzy of copulation. We call that the Coolidge 06:41 effect, and it's the automatic response to what we call novel mates, 06:47 and it is actually what sets up the pornography pathway, which reveals and results 06:56 in some very adverse brain changes. >> Let's talk about those 07:00 adverse brain changes, so too much sex and the pathway to the pornography 07:06 or the pathway of pornography opening up, what happens? What's happening in the brain? 07:11 What are some of those brain changes that are going on? >> Yes, it's what we call 07:16 the supernormal stimuli, so, you know, an intimate sexual act as a part 07:21 of marriage on occasion is actually a healthy thing, but when it's not 07:26 part of intimacy and when it's a supernormal type of act where it's not 07:35 just a natural part but more stimulating than that or if it's too frequent, 07:40 it will produce three definite adverse brain changes. The first one is, more pleasure 07:47 actually leads to less pleasure, and so as this supernormal stimuli take hold, 07:54 the person is not able to experience the pleasure that he or she once was, 08:01 and this is one of the reasons why marriages after about 3 1/2 years 08:07 or 4 years go from the euphoric stage to the noneuphoric stage. If people understood this topic 08:15 of sex and mental health, they would be able to stay in the euphoria stage 08:19 throughout life in the vast majority of cases, but because of the tendency 08:24 of overdoing it, they actually drive themselves into less pleasure, 08:30 and then there is a supernormal, or I should say a super memory of the pleasurable events 08:40 driving down what we call D2 receptors or dopamine receptors, and the individual 08:47 actually has an increase in anxiety as a result. >> Mm-hmm. 08:52 >> The usual nuisances of life become far more irritable to the person in this stage, 08:58 and both anxiety levels and also occasionally depression levels can go up. 09:04 And then the third change... We call that desensitization, by the way. 09:07 The first one is called sensitization, and then there's desensitization. 09:12 >> Okay. >> And then the third change is what we call hypofrontality. 09:17 This is where your frontal lobe actually shrinks, and the gray matter 09:21 starts to shrink down in the frontal lobe of the brain, and that makes the brain 09:26 unable to foresee consequences as well so a marked, diminished ability to foresee consequences. 09:33 Empathy goes down in these individuals significantly, and then they're prone 09:39 to relapse into a previous addiction in response to stress, and these are very common 09:46 changes that take place in a large segment of humanity because of their 09:51 misunderstanding of this topic. >> So let's try to bring some understanding to the topic. 09:56 How then can an individual see... because that's actually 10:03 quite frightening to think about the fact that the frontal lobe can actually shrink 10:08 when we actually want to be having a larger frontal lobe and a more functioning 10:13 frontal lobe. >> Yes. >> And that is happening 10:15 as a direct result of someone's unhealthy approach to sex. >> Correct. 10:23 >> So what are some things that can make the approach more healthy 10:27 and to actually not see these three negative brain changes? >> Well, if the person has 10:33 already started to experience these three negative brain changes, we recommend 10:38 a reboot of the brain, and that is called a 90-day sex fast. 10:46 This is where the individual uses no pornography, no masturbation, no orgasm. 10:53 Even if they're married, they stay away from the intimate relations 10:58 for a total of 90 days. Of course, they would need to have an agreement 11:02 with their partner about this and inform them of the reasons and make sure 11:07 that they're buying in to this, but it's amazing what begins to happen after the 90-day reboot. 11:14 There's now been thousands of individuals who have undergone this reboot 11:18 as a result of this research, and they all talk about very positive brain changes 11:24 that happen and physical changes across the board. >> This is dramatic 11:32 because something so simple can help an individual reboot who is having an unhealthy or 11:41 unnatural relationship to sex, so let me ask you a question because we've been seeing in 11:48 the news quite a bit coming up about sexual harassment and inappropriate behaviors 11:57 toward individuals. >> Mm-hmm. >> Often, those individuals 11:59 are toward women. It does happen toward men as well. 12:03 >> Mm-hmm. >> But what are some of the causes that we're hearing 12:07 about all of this today? Why are we hearing about this? >> We're hearing about it 12:11 because these people have all been overdoing it. They're all in the adverse 12:16 brain changes, and when you actually have conversations with people 12:21 where there's sexual connotations that are either interpreted 12:26 or also, you know, meant to be in the conversation, it's a sign that they're already 12:33 in the desensitization mode. The desensitization mode, they will actually have and think... 12:42 There'll be associations that happen where, all of a sudden, they're thinking of sex, 12:47 and you'll be able to see this sometimes in every day, sometimes, office conversations 12:51 or things like that where something comes in that's not even sexually related, 12:55 but somebody takes it that way, and that's a sign that they're actually 12:59 in the desensitization mode, so that in and of itself, is a sign of a need of a reboot, 13:08 and what we will notice is, if the person goes through the reboot, 13:12 they'll be far more respectful in their conversations. They'll be much more engaged to 13:18 life that's not related to sex, and if they are in a marriage and in an intimate relationship, 13:25 their sex will then be far better. It's not just about 13:29 achieving orgasm. It's actually about the whole intimate act, 13:34 and then you see partners actually becoming far closer as a result. 13:42 Now, how frequent would it be to experience these adverse brain changes? 13:47 If you're having orgasmic activity more than once every 4 days, 13:51 you're definitely going to get into it, but ideally, 13:56 it's actually better for the brain to wait a week, so after the 90 days 14:00 is over with and you're in an intimate marriage, it's better to plan it 14:04 about every 7 days so the male can get a nice testosterone spike 14:08 that wouldn't occur otherwise and to prevent those three unhealthy brain changes. 14:14 >> So an individual who's got this inappropriate situation, this unhealthy relationship 14:22 to sex, it seems, as we've been talking, that it's a downward spiral. 14:27 >> Mm-hmm. >> An individual desires to have sex 14:30 on too frequent of a basis or too stimulating of a basis, then actually affects the brain 14:39 negatively and creates now this pathway where an individual is engaged in masturbation, 14:45 where an individual is engaged in pornography, which then spirals this further 14:51 and further out of control. >> Exactly. Exactly right, and, you know, 14:55 the masturbation and pornography tend to go hand in hand, and it's not just an issue 15:01 with males. It's become far more common in females than it used to be, 15:08 and a study was done in 2014 showing that half of the male population has masturbated 15:17 within the last 6 days, whether they're married, whether they're not married. 15:22 Masturbation universally produces adverse brain changes. It doesn't produce that 15:29 "I'm done" response, and so there's a much more greater drive to actually 15:37 do more and more over time, and we have people that come to our program that have been 15:41 trying to masturbate seven or 10 times a day. They're an emotional mess, 15:46 and they think this is their solving the problem because, you know, 15:51 after you masturbate, there's an increase in opioids that kind of make you feel 15:55 a little calmer, but they don't realize that their solution is the problem, 16:00 and what a difference it makes when they go through this sex fast. 16:06 >> And so an individual that is maybe viewing today or listening today 16:11 and sensing that they are in a hopeless situation, there is, in fact, hope. 16:16 >> Absolutely. >> And let's talk about some of those steps to hope, 16:19 some of those because, instead of those negative brain changes, we want to see some positive 16:24 brain changes. >> Mm-hmm. >> You talked about 16:26 the sex fast. >> Mm-hmm. >> Let's talk, 16:30 practically speaking, a little bit more about that. What can a person do during that 16:34 fast then to help them to actually reverse some of these other brain changes? 16:40 What are some other positive things they can do during that 90 days 16:44 to really help them with their mental health? >> Well, it's important for them 16:48 to be busy and important for them to be away from screens because it's normally 16:55 in front of screens that they have been doing their too frequent 17:00 or too stimulating of acts, and it might mean that they need to actually... 17:06 You know, if they're not in a marriage relationship or intimate relationship, 17:10 they may need to break off those relationships which are just related 17:15 to basically orgasmic activity or what we would call casual sex, 17:21 and the casual-sex thing really drives these three adverse brain changes as well. 17:27 And so, yes, because it's an addiction, you know, it's difficult, 17:33 and if you get onto sites that talk about this 90-day sex fast... 17:38 And by the way, Hollywood stars are doing it. There's a whole lot of people 17:41 that have had marital problems in their family or all sorts of relationship problems, 17:47 and it's amazing. You'll see the testimonies when they go through 17:50 the 90-day sex fast, and they'll talk about the struggles, you know? 17:54 Sometimes, they blow it after day 70, and then they have to start 17:57 over again, but they'll talk about the need for physical exercise, 18:03 the need for being busy so that they're not locked in a room by themselves, 18:09 and then it gets down to a two-word, you know, instruction -- 18:13 hands off, you know? And that comprehensive approach can actually bring about 18:21 a tremendous victory and enhance the lives of marriages. One of the myths 18:26 that's out there, Chris, is that male libido is always going to be greater than female. 18:32 One of the signs that your relationship could be in this is if the male libido 18:39 is far greater than the female's because once you go through a sex fast 18:43 and once you're doing it less frequently, both male and female libido will be equal, 18:50 and the female will be looking forward to the intimate act just as much as the male is, 18:57 and so when women get into this mode where it's annoying to them, 19:02 they don't want to be approached, and they feel bad about turning it down, 19:06 that is normally a sign that there has been supernormal activity either 19:11 in regards to frequency or type, and so that's a sign. Sex fast coming your way 19:17 is going to produce tremendous benefit for both partners. >> And so it sounds like, 19:22 when we talk about it, that we have a solution to the world's sex problem 19:29 and the world's infatuation with sex, and that is this sex fast. 19:35 >> Correct. >> And as you have said, the pornography, 19:40 the masturbation, the other things that come along with this, the too-frequent, 19:46 too-intense sexual encounters really, as you've pointed out, is an addictive behavior. 19:53 What are some other aspects of overcoming addictions that can help an individual 19:59 who's saying, "This 90 days, Dr. Nedley, this is impossible"? >> [ Chuckles ] 20:04 Well, you know, getting rid of the associations that may lead to it. 20:11 You know, a lot of people, males in the sports world, there's the lovely lady 20:15 of the day who basically, is, you know, photographed with all sorts 20:21 of provocative poses, you know. There's the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. 20:26 There's all of these popular magazines that are continually confronting you with sex 20:32 and putting it in front of your brain. It requires some planning, 20:36 you know, to get rid of those things, to, you know... And you might have to do 20:41 a sports fast along with it, and so you can put up the appropriate barriers 20:46 that are there. If you do have an intimate partner, it's good to inform 20:51 your intimate partner of this. Now we haven't gone into all the science, 20:54 but we have a DVD called Sex and Mental Health that will explain 20:58 all of the science behind it, what's happening with the brain chemistry. 21:02 We tell couples to look at that and to make a wise decision together. 21:07 You know, the interesting thing is, I've never had an individual or a couple go through this 21:14 that hasn't had a very positive experience on the other side, and so, you know, 21:22 we need to remind ourselves sex is a voluntary act. Sometimes, society gets 21:29 in this mode where they think sex is totally involuntary. No, it's voluntary, 21:35 and it does require a choice, usually on both partners, but at least one, 21:41 and it's important for us to be consciously competent and to go through the struggle 21:49 and the effort and the busyness of life and get more exercise and get, 21:54 you know, better diet. All of those things are going to help. 21:57 The reading of Scripture -- one of the things we found out is when people read 22:01 the Book of Proverbs or Scripture every day, they actually have more success 22:07 in this 90-day fast, and so that's frontal-lobe enhancement to be able to read 22:13 Scripture, and they're actually far less likely to have sexual relations outside of 22:18 a marriage relationship when they're reading Scripture, and you can actually 22:22 Google our name on that and look at abstract thought in Scripture and sex outside of marriage. 22:30 We've actually published on it and then presented it at a big sexual conference, 22:34 and so these are all tools that can help people to overcome this potent 22:41 addiction in their life that is actually unwittingly... They often don't realize 22:47 all the adverse brain changes until they stop it, and then they realize, 22:51 "Wow, I had no idea my brain could be so much better." You know, we've had guys say, 22:56 "I start overachieving at work now," and they're able to get 23:01 so much better work done and be more efficient in things, and they say it's noticed, 23:06 you know, by the rest of people in their, you know, in their work environment. 23:10 It does produce a little bit of problems because they'll say, "What has happened to you? 23:14 You are getting so much more done! You never used to work 23:17 like this, and you're so creative and things," and they can't smile and say, "I 23:21 quit masturbating 90 days ago," but it actually produces some very positive changes, 23:29 and that's just the beginning of the positive changes that take place. 23:33 >> And so, you know, one of the things that we've talked about before, 23:35 it sounds like this comes down to a very practical decision on deciphering what the difference 23:41 is between a need and a want. >> Okay, very good. >> And so why don't you 23:46 help us with that, Dr. Nedley? How do we decide what is the difference between 23:50 a need and a want? >> Well, you just ask yourself a simple question: 23:54 How long can I go without this before I die? If it doesn't affect that, 24:00 it is a want and not a need, and there's no reason for us to get all angry and upset 24:05 over not getting a want. I can understand in regards to a need, 24:09 but many people elevate this area of their life as some sort of absolute need, 24:15 and there's never been a death certificate signed that has, "Lack of sex," 24:20 as a cause of death. You know, we always have to put, when we sign death certificates 24:25 as doctors, what was the disease that caused the death and then what caused that disease? 24:30 There's causes underneath it. Lack of sex is not a cause of death, 24:34 and it's not a cause of disease. Although we have men that say, you know, "I need to do this 24:39 because I need to empty my prostate gland," no. One of the signs 24:42 that you're rebooting is when you have what's called a nocturnal emission, 24:47 and the body has a way of taking care of that. We actually don't need to have 24:51 sex frequently in order for our prostates to be healthy. Our prostates can be perfectly 24:55 healthy even in an abstinent environment. If we're single or not 25:02 in a married relationship, when we go through that nocturnal emission, 25:07 it's actually a sign that the brain is rebooting, and it's actually 25:11 a healthy thing, and so, yeah, sex is a want, and, of course, it's in 25:15 the brain there for good reason. It was implanted there, but it was also implanted in a brain 25:22 that had a frontal lobe in regards to, you know, if they're going to do it 25:26 or when they're going to do it or who they're going to do it with and those sorts of things, 25:31 and so God anticipated the frontal lobe to be fully in charge of that desire so that, 25:36 even though we have a libido, we don't have to do it, and by not doing it, 25:43 what a significant benefit can happen if you've had those three adverse brain changes. 25:48 >> And so while you say there's never been a death certificate that said someone has died 25:52 from a lack of sex, what you seem to allude to though is that, in fact, 25:58 someone as a result of decreased brain function and mental function could, 26:05 although the cause may not be too much sex, an individual could die 26:09 or put themself on the pathway to a very unhealthy life by continuing to have 26:15 a mental function that is not moving along properly through 26:19 acting upon this desire, this want, in an unhealthy way. >> Exactly, and, you know, 26:25 death can occur. You know, sexually transmitted diseases are in top 10 causes 26:29 of death in our country, and sexually transmitted diseases, vast majority of time, 26:35 are occurring as a result of this felt need where they have to get it, 26:41 and they're not utilizing their frontal lobe in regards to who they're doing it with 26:45 or how they're doing it or any of those types of things, so, yes, it can involve 26:49 premature death, but it also can involve a decrease in vitality, 26:54 a suppression of the immune system, and so it does open ourself up 26:58 for more disease and death when we are overdoing it. >> And so what we come 27:05 as we wind up with our last minute here, Dr. Nedley, 27:09 to the individual that may be struggling with this issue, what's a word of hope 27:14 in addition to the counsel we've given? >> A word of hope is, 27:18 your brain can change, and you can actually gain self-control 27:22 in this area of your life. What we have found is that people who go through 27:27 the reboot, even if they're in an intimate relationship, if they have self-control 27:31 with their partner, they're going to have self-control 27:34 over everybody else as well. In other words, they're not going to be so tempted by, 27:40 you know, a provocative person who presents themself for that possibility 27:45 because they're going to think, "I'd much rather do it with my intimate partner, 27:49 and it's not time yet, and so why in the world would I do it with you 27:53 and start to have all those adverse brain changes?" So you have self-control 27:56 in this area of your life. You can have self-control in a lot of areas 28:00 of your life as well, and that is only going to produce 28:04 the psychological good life. >> And with that, Dr. Nedley, we'll bring this program 28:08 to a close. Would you pray for us today? >> Yes. 28:12 Father in heaven, we thank You that, although You are the inventor of sex, 28:16 You are also the inventor of the front part of our brain, the thinking part of our brain, 28:22 and we pray that each person who has viewed this today will be able to apply 28:28 this knowledge in their own life so that they can experience life and it more abundantly. 28:35 In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen. >> Amen. 28:41 Dear friend, sex and mental health is a sensitive issue that we don't often talk about, 28:46 but there is hope. There is hope for a future in Jesus. 28:51 There is hope for a future free from this addiction. I want to offer you the DVD 28:57 of the program. This two-part series will give you information, 29:02 will give you insight and help you realize there can be victory. 29:07 Here is the information you need to receive today's offer. 29:11 >> To request today's offer, just log on 29:13 to www.itiswrittencanada.ca. If you prefer, you may call 29:19 toll-free at 1-888-CALLIIW. >> Dr. Nedley, thank you so much for joining us today. 29:26 >> Thanks. It's been great being here. >> Dear friend, Jesus desires 29:32 that we would have an abundant life in Him. There is hope for the future. 29:37 I invite you to go to the "It Is Written Canada" website, itiswrittencanada.ca. 29:41 There, you can find resources on how to grow spiritually. Thank you for watching. 29:48 I encourage you to join us again next week. Until then, remember, 29:52 it is written, "Man shall not live by bread alone, 29:55 but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." 30:00 ♪♪ ♪♪ |
Revised 2018-08-06