Participants: Chris Holland
Series Code: IIWC
Program Code: IIWC201425A
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00:11 >>ANNOUNCER: IT HAS STOOD THE TEST OF TIME...
00:15 GOD'S BOOK, THE BIBLE. 00:18 STILL RELEVANT IN TODAY'S COMPLEX WORLD. 00:24 IT IS WRITTEN . . . 00:26 SHARING MESSAGES OF HOPE AROUND THE WORLD. 00:39 Chris: Thank you for choosing to watch It Is Written. We are in the seventh and last part 00:46 of our series "Depression: The Way Out." And what a blessing it is to know that depression, 00:53 which touches almost every family in the world, is not the end. There is a way out. 01:00 God has so created the human mind that the human mind can actually repair itself and can 01:07 find good mental health. Over the last several weeks, I have had the privilege of having 01:14 Dr. Neil Nedley with me through that series. Dr. Nedley, I'm so thankful that 01:20 you've joined us again to be a part of this series. Dr. Nedley: Thank you, it's good 01:25 to be here, Chris, thank you. Chris: Dr. Nedley is a physician of 27 years with a 01:30 specialty in internal medicine, specializing in mental health and the 01:36 difficult-to-diagnose patient. Dr. Nedley is also the president of Weimar Institute. 01:43 And Dr. Nedley, just as a refresher for our audience, what is Weimar institute? Dr. 01:49 Nedley: Weimar Institute is an educational institute, higher educational institute, has a 01:54 college. But it also has a lifestyle centre that we treat diabetes, a lot of physical 02:01 diseases, even cancer. And we also have an emotional health section where we treat 02:08 depression and anxiety recovery. Chris: Now, if someone were interested in 02:12 Weimar Institute or those two recovery. or those two programs, the depression 02:17 recovery, or the NEWSTART program, what are some websites that they might be 02:21 able to go to to get more information? Dr. Nedley: Yeah, for the depression recovery, 02:24 it's simply depressionthewayout.com. Chris: Okay, that's an easy 02:29 one. Dr. Nedley: Yeah. And for the physical disease portion, that is NEWSTART.com. 02:36 Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: And then for the college or the educational institutions, 02:40 there's also a four-month training course that anyone can really be a part of, and 02:46 then the lifestyle treatment of disease and that sort of thing. That is simply 02:50 Weimar.edu. Weimar.edu. Chris: Wonderful. Now, in this last piece of our series, we 02:59 are going to talk more about emotional intelligence. In fact, part six was all about 03:05 emotional intelligence. And just to maybe review a little bit, what is emotional 03:12 intelligence? Dr. Nedley: That's understanding our emotions and the emotions 03:16 of others and responding to those in a healthy way. Chris: And how important is 03:20 emotional intelligence or EQ? Dr. Nedley: It has more to do with our success and happiness 03:26 than even our IQ does. Chris: It has more to do with our success than even our IQ. 03:33 Dr. Nedley: Yeah. Chris: So this is something we want to be listening, we want to be 03:35 intent and understand what we're talking about when we talk about emotional 03:38 intelligence. Dr. Nedley: Correct. Chris: Now, what are some ways that a 03:45 person can improve their emotional intelligence? Dr. Nedley: Once we understand 03:50 that it's our thoughts that cause our emotions and behaviour, we can actually 03:55 analyze our thoughts for distortions. And there's ten different distorted ways of 04:01 thinking that we teach people. And then after they recognize which distortion is present, 04:07 then they have the chance to reconstruct their thoughts into what's true and accurate. 04:14 And a good thought that is true and accurate will also be one to help us to achieve our 04:21 goals and to help us to feel the way we want to feel. That's what we call a rational 04:26 thought. Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: And so it gets into analyzing our thoughts and 04:30 correcting those thoughts. Chris: And in simple principles, as we talk about 04:33 this, so in our last show, we left off with this idea, stop or pause, and think. Dr. 04:41 Nedley: That's right. Chris: And then what were those two words that you used 04:43 to describe how we change that thought pattern? Dr. Nedley: Well, we have to be 04:48 intentional and forceful to find evidence that supports a different way of thinking. 04:53 Chris: Okay. So we stop, we pause, we're intentional and forceful, and actually change 04:58 how we think. And by changing how we think, it changes how we feel, and in so doing, 05:06 allows us to achieve the goals that we have in life. Dr. Nedley: That's right. Not only 05:10 changes how we feel, but it changes our behaviour once that happens as well. 05:14 Chris: And you know, one of the things I appreciated most about what you said there and 05:18 what you have been saying is you've talked about rational thought. And I think even in 05:23 one of the shows, I use the word "positive thinking" and then you've corrected that to 05:28 rational thinking. And I like that because you know, we live in a world where there's a lot 05:31 of books written on the power of positive thinking, and these kinds of things. We're 05:35 not talking about some self-help stuff here. What we're talking about is 05:40 practical: stopping, analyzing, and then actually changing how we think. Dr. 05:46 Nedley: Mmhmm. And one of the ways of doing this is to recognize when we have an 05:50 irrational thought. Now, an irrational thought means that you're not feeling the way you 05:58 want to feel. If you're not feeling the way you want to feel right now, there's 06:01 irrational thought behind that. If you are not thinking in a way that helps you to 06:10 achieve your goals, that's irrational. Or if you are thinking things that are just 06:15 twisted and plain wrong, that's irrational. So if you. those are little red flags, if 06:22 people are going through their day and they're saying, "I don't want to feel this way," 06:25 they've got an irrational thought. Or if they're recognizing, "You know, I'm 06:30 not sure I'm thinking accurately. I'm in this fog. I'm not thinking clearly," 06:34 then that would be irrational as well. So there's little cues that we can have to tell 06:41 us it's time to stop. It's time to rethink and turn that irrational thought into a 06:47 rational thought. Chris: And for those that may have not watched our previous programs, 06:52 that effect or that ability to have a rational thought can be affected by a lot of outside 06:56 influences, and so they're going to want to watch the previous programs to help see 07:03 what those outside influences are, because if we're able to correct those, it's hard 07:07 enough to think rationally sometimes when we have no outside influences 07:12 controlling, really, or impeding our thought process. Dr. Nedley: Right. We put 07:18 people on what we call the spa therapy first when they come to our depression and anxiety 07:23 recovery program. And those are things that we are having them change lifestyle-wise to 07:30 their brain have better function: good exercise, good diet, light therapy, working 07:35 on getting them adequate and restorative sleep. The hydrotherapy part is 07:41 important. We even utilize massage. And so we're doing everything that helps this 07:47 brain function, and then once the brain is able to function, that's when we start this 07:53 process of analyzing their thoughts, and that's when things click, and they're 07:58 never the same again once they're able to get this down. Chris: Wow. Now, what are the 08:04 characteristics of someone who has high emotional intelligence? Dr. 08:07 Nedley: Well, they're going to be curious about other people. They're going to be managing 08:12 their emotions instead of being managed by their emotions. They're going to 08:16 have good relationships. And they're going to be well-motivated to achieve 08:21 their goals. They're going to be very interested in being a moral, good person. They'll 08:26 know their strengths and weaknesses accurately. When they are upset, they'll know 08:30 exactly why they're upset. If they do make a mistake, they will actually take 08:37 responsibility for their mistake and grow from that. And there's other attributes 08:43 as well. But they're just great people to be around and they're people that are 08:47 actually improving over time. Chris: Okay. So we've made a lot of this practical. Let's 08:55 look at some case studies. And you and I have talked. What better place to find case 09:00 studies than in God's Word? Because we see in the Bible actually some good case 09:07 studies on emotional intelligence. Dr. Nedley: Yes. Chris: Now, Dr. Nedley, any 09:12 characters, any individuals in the Bible that come to mind that we want to talk about a 09:17 little bit when we talk about emotional intelligence? Dr. Nedley: Well, Saul had issues 09:22 with his emotions. He was not feeling the way he wanted to feel. Chris: Okay. So we're 09:27 talking about King Saul of the Old Testament, the first king of Israel. And you say he's 09:33 not having some good thoughts. Let's talk about that a little bit. What kind of not good 09:37 thoughts was Saul having? Dr. Nedley: Well, he was having thoughts of anger and rage and 09:45 jealousy and depression. He would go into severer depression and anxiety. 09:50 Chris: Okay. And we see that. I mean, we see that in his dealing with David 09:55 specifically. David would become king after Saul. And he was jealous of David. He would 10:02 get angry with David. But you said Saul was depressed. Dr. Nedley: Mmhmm. Chris: How do 10:07 you know that Saul was depressed? Dr. Nedley: Well, his counsellors actually 10:10 stated it. They said, "We need to find a therapist to help this man out. We don't know 10:16 what to do with him." And he actually was down and felt hopeless. That's part of 10:22 depression. Chris: Okay. And so how does he then begin to feel or begin to get better 10:29 from that? Dr. Nedley: Well, the music therapy did help him to have rational thoughts. And 10:34 by the way, music therapy can be helpful today. We utilize it in our program. 10:38 Chris: Okay. Now, I want to his a pause button there. You said music therapy. And we've 10:42 briefly touched on that in these programs. What do you mean by music therapy? Dr. 10:48 Nedley: Well, it needs to be melodious music. It needs to be. the rhythm needs to be 10:54 more subdued. You know, that's why harp is ideal for this. You know, you can't play the 10:58 harp too loud. Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: And it brings out melodies and harmonies much 11:03 more than the rhythm. And just focusing in on that can help calm the mind and balance it. 11:10 Chris: Okay. So when we talk about music therapy, we're not talking about 80s pop, we're 11:15 not talking about rock music, we're not talking about heavy metal. Dr. Nedley: No. 11:19 Chris: We're talking about melodious music. You used the harp. What other kind of 11:23 examples, for someone who's listening and saying, "Music can actually help me think 11:28 better." What other kind of music are we talking about? Dr. Nedley: Well, the music of 11:32 Handel and Bach and many of these composers. Actually, Handel wrote his music for a 11:38 king that had depression. He understood music therapy. That's what the water music 11:42 was about, to get the king out on the river, get him outside in the light, and you know, 11:48 bring him down the river, where all this music was, to enhance his thoughts. And it 11:53 worked. Chris: Okay. So Saul goes through the music therapy. And it calms his 11:57 nerves. But does it solve all of his problems? Dr. Nedley: Well, here's the 12:03 issue. He had a cognitive distortion called magnification and 12:07 minimization. Chris: Magnification and minimization. Dr. Nedley: Yes. 12:12 Majoring in minors and minoring in majors. Getting things out of proportion. 12:18 Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: Now, the first way he minimized things is when Samuel 12:21 confronted him with mistakes that he had made. He minimized them and justified himself. 12:30 Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: And you know, when a man makes a mistake and doesn't correct 12:34 it, he's committing another mistake. Chris: Yes. Dr. Nedley: And that another 12:38 mistake is even worse than the first because he's doomed to repeat it. And so instead of 12:44 acknowledging where he went wrong and taking responsibility, which is what 12:50 an emotionally intelligent person will do, he minimized it. And then he began to 12:56 magnify the discipline that took place. He thought it was very unfair that his 13:04 punishment outweighed the crime. But yet, the punishment was given by God. We know God 13:10 is a just God. And a lot of people that dwell on being treated unfairly all the time 13:15 actually have been treated rather fairly. And Saul was treated fairly in this whole 13:22 situation. Now, we also need to understand that every human being is going to be treated 13:27 unfairly at times. Chris: Absolutely. Dr. Nedley: But when we're treated 13:29 unfairly and we continue to rehearse it and dwell on it, that's going to lower our 13:33 emotional intelligence significantly. So we should never dwell on how we've been 13:39 treated unfairly and continue to rehearse it. And then the third aspect of this 13:44 magnification is he magnified himself. And magnification of self, where we get into 13:54 egotism and arrogance, we might actually feel better being arrogant at first, but 13:59 arrogance always comes before feelings of worthlessness. So first you have pride, then as 14:07 a result you have wounded pride later on, and then you begin to have these awful 14:12 thoughts. And if you remember, they were coming in from a great victory. And the 14:18 women were so glad to see them because they were alive and the women were going to be 14:23 protected now and so thousands of women came together to celebrate this homecoming. And 14:30 they sang this song: "Saul has slain his thousands, but David his tens of thousands." And if 14:36 Saul had not developed a sense of pride, elevated sense of self, pride would've never 14:43 even wounded. He would have just put his arm around David and said, "I put him in a 14:47 position to succeed." And he would've been very glad to honour the all-star of the 14:51 battle as well. But instead, his pride was wounded. And you know, there's a great 15:00 book. In fact, we recommend it. It's called What Your Counsellor Never Told You: The 15:04 Seven Sins that Lead to Mental Illness. It's actually written by a clinical psychologist, 15:09 William Backus. But he gives you a little test to see whether you might have pride 15:14 or whether the viewer might have pride. Trying to be noticed. Craving attention. 15:20 Itching for compliments. Needing to be important. detesting the idea of being 15:26 submissive. Loathing the idea of admitting to wrongdoing. Strongly opinionated. 15:32 Argumentative. Demanding and actually standing up for our individual rights all the 15:38 time. And then thinking we have excellences we actually don't have. William Backus 15:46 says, "Watch out. If you have any of those or particularly more than one, pride is there. 15:51 And wounded pride will follow." Chris: And we know the end of the story for Saul 15:57 is not a happy story. Saul never resolves his mental illness. Dr. Nedley: He never 16:04 took care of his distortions for more than a few days. He actually did for a few days 16:08 'cause David actually became his clinical psychologist as well and helped him to correct 16:14 some of those distorted thoughts. But he didn't rehearse it and that's the 16:18 other thing. We have to practice this, not just correct it once or twice. We 16:23 need to practice it. And as a result, when stress was coming in to his life, he demanded 16:32 that God answer him the way he said He should. And by the way, beware of ever demanding 16:38 that the Lord answer you the way you state that He should. Because if He doesn't answer, 16:44 chances are, He's already answered; you're just not putting it into practice what 16:50 He has stated. And then he went to the wrong counsellor. And beware of going to the 16:54 wrong counsellor. The wrong counsellor gave him a lot of truthful information, but then 16:58 gave him some terrible untruths, and that is, there was no hope for Saul, that he 17:04 had doomed himself, which wasn't true. There was hope right up until the end. And 17:10 now with these feelings of hopelessness and stress coming in, his enemies coming in, he 17:15 did what you would expect someone to do in that situation: he took his own 17:21 life, committed suicide. An unnecessary death, had he taken care of the underlying 17:27 distortions that were causing his mental compromise. Chris: Wow. Now, there are 17:34 many other examples we could go to, but let's go to an example maybe that is a little 17:39 bit more hopeful. Dr. Nedley: Yes. Chris: And let's talk about Elijah. Elijah. How 17:46 is Elijah a case study in emotional intelligence? Dr. Nedley: Well, Elijah actually 17:52 was not prideful. So everyone comes to depression for a different set of reasons. He 18:00 actually wasn't like another Bible character, Solomon, who was just trying to do fun 18:06 things to obtain pleasure, which of course, caused him to have a lot of lack of 18:10 pleasure, which is very common today. But Elijah always wanted to follow the will of 18:17 the Lord, so he was a spiritual person. He was really a whole person. He had 18:23 a lot of great attributes. But after his tremendous victory on Mount Carmel, he 18:28 anticipated the entire nation was going to change, which actually, they were on the 18:34 precipice of changing. And then when his life got threatened by Jezebel again 18:38 and said he's going to be dead within 24 hours, you know, he did have a reason to fear her 18:44 'cause she had killed all the other prophets already. But instead of waiting on the 18:48 Lord, which he had always done, he took off running for his life. 18:54 And 30 days later, he asked the Lord to take his life. He wants to die. And of course, 19:00 the Lord had to put him on a depression recovery program. Angels came and fed him food. 19:05 I think there was some flaxseed in that meal. He was put on an exercise program to 19:10 get out the cave. He had light therapy. And what really helped him, though, was the 19:18 cognitive behavioural therapy where he began to have a dialogue, and then as a result 19:24 of that dialogue, distorted thoughts were found. And his distorted thought was 19:28 overgeneralization. He said, "I'm the only one that has not bowed the knee to Baal." And 19:36 the Lord let him get by with that the first time, but now when he repeats it, the Lord 19:40 had to put him on pause and say, "Elijah, you're just wrong. You're wrong by a 19:45 factor of seven thousand." What he should've said is, "I'm the only one I know of." 19:50 But in reality, he just knew he was the only one, and that's why I tell people, 19:56 "It's not what we don't know that hurts us so much; it's what we know for sure that 20:01 just is not so." 20:04 And so once Elijah corrected that, he still wasn't better until he followed what the 20:09 Lord told him to do. The Lord told him to do three things, none of which he wanted to do. 20:13 And this is very typical for my depressed patients. Normally they want to do a lot 20:18 of the things I tell them. There's usually one or two or three that's saying, "Uh, 20:22 uh-huh. I don't really want to do this," but yet, those are the crucial things that will 20:27 get them over the hump. Chris: Yes. Dr. Nedley: And Elijah trusted in the Lord 20:31 that he did those three things, even though he had no predilection to want to do 20:35 them. And not only did he recover from depression, he established the school of 20:40 prophets. And the Bible says he was translated without seeing death. Chris: That is 20:47 an amazing story. Now, and not just a story. That is an actual event of Biblical 20:52 history. Any case studies, and we don't have a lot of time, Dr. Nedley, but any case 20:57 studies of any patients that you might want to share briefly of success on 21:03 emotional intelligence? Dr. Nedley: Yes, I'll share the story of Mikayla. Mikayla, 21:07 like many individuals that come to our program, suffered abuse at an early age. 21:14 Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: Actually, at age 13, she began to be sexually 21:19 abused by a friend. And she of course didn't tell anybody about it. But this beautiful, 21:26 energetic girl that had all these positive things that everyone thought she was going 21:30 to be a great woman, started to spiral down and nobody really realized what was going 21:36 on. And so by the time she was 15, this guy had moved away, but she started to actually 21:43 try to find her satisfaction in men. And she would go from one relationship to another, 21:48 one breakup to another. And finally, she's in Cancun with the relationship that she 21:55 finally thinks is going to work. She's working at a pharmacy as a tech. The 22:01 pharmacy, head of the pharmacy, is now very interested in her and takes 22:06 her to Cancun on this vacation. And while she's flipping through his mobile 22:13 phone, the first morning there, she sees a provocative pose of another pharmacy tech 22:18 just two days earlier. And she realizes, "I'm not the only one. This is the same problem. 22:26 There is no hope." And she tries to take her own life with the four pills. By this 22:32 time, she's on four different medicines. They misdiagnose with bipolar disorder and all 22:36 this. And so she ends up in the hospital, comes out of the hospital to his care, and then 22:46 she does it with another medicine which almost does take her life. About a week 22:51 later, she ends up in our program and she's feeling hopeless. She wants to die. 22:57 Her parents don't know anything about what to do with her. So we put her through the 23:02 spa therapy and then we get to the thoughts. Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: And what she had 23:08 done is she had elevated this desire for men to actually be a need. And actually, to be 23:20 happily married, we first must be happily single. And actually, we don't have to 23:27 have a relationship in order to be happy. We have to be happily single first. So we 23:33 taught her to be BP-proof, in other words, boy-proof. And she even had to learn how to 23:40 dress differently in regards to that so she could work on being happily single. And she 23:46 got rid of her distorted thoughts. Her feelings of hopelessness she recognized as 23:50 a distortion. And she turned her life completely around. She is a happy girl. She's off 23:58 all of her psychiatric medicines. She's now in P.A. school. And she. her emotional 24:05 intelligence is near the top of the charts. So she's actually in much better shape 24:10 now to be a successful person than someone her age who's never been depressed or 24:16 anxious because she's learned the principles of mentally healthful living and she got 24:22 rid of her magnification. Same thing that Saul had. She was majoring in minors and 24:27 minoring in majors. She corrected that. Chris: So there's a way out. Dr. 24:32 Nedley: There is a way out. Chris: And even though life may have been unfair to us, in 24:38 reality, and not a distortion, but life has really been unfair, and terrible things 24:43 have happened to Mikayla. She was able to take time, pause, analyze the situation, change 24:52 her thought processes, and actually get out of this rut and now is living a life to 25:00 its fullest and not letting life dictate to her how she should live. Dr. 25:07 Nedley: That's right. Chris: And Dr. Nedley, I don't want to put words in your 25:11 mouth, but it would seem that that is really what emotional intelligence is all about, is 25:16 about taking the time to stop, analyze, change your thought processes, and actually become 25:25 a mentally healthy person. Dr. Nedley: Yeah, the Lord said to Elijah when he was distressed, 25:30 "What doest thou here?" Chris: Yes. Dr. Nedley: In other words, stop, analyze. 25:35 What is it that got you here? What are your thoughts? And that was the process that 25:40 started his improvement. Chris: And that is a point where we're going to stop 25:44 because we're out of time. And I think, Dr. Nedley, you have encapsulated everything in 25:52 just those few moments, that there is hope and that there is a way out. And Dr. Nedley, 25:58 as we close out this series, "Depression: The Way Out", I think I would find it a 26:04 privilege if you would pray for our audience on this subject. Dr. Nedley: Father 26:10 in heaven, we thank You so much for the interest that You have in our health of body, 26:16 mind, and soul. And just like Your desire for Elijah to improve, and for Mikayla to 26:24 improve, You desire each viewer here to live an emotionally satisfying, 26:31 fulfilled, and successful life. And so we pray, Lord, that You might assist them and 26:38 they might look to You for strength as well as these simple principles that we have 26:43 been talking about, practicing in their life what Elijah and Solomon and others and Mikayla 26:52 have had to practice, so that they can not only live a life more abundantly, but a life 26:58 that has an infectious, positive influence on others. We thank You for hearing and 27:05 answering this prayer, in Jesus' name, amen. 27:12 Chris: I've been privileged to spend the last few weeks with Dr. Neil Nedley, and I'd like 27:15 to offer to you the introductory DVD that Dr. Nedley has put together that 27:20 will give you practical steps to emotional and mental health. I'd like to also offer 27:26 to you for any size donation the full series, "Depression: The Way Out." Here's the 27:33 information you need to receive today's offer. 28:00 Chris: Dr. Nedley, on behalf of our Canadian audience and the audience around the world, 28:04 I want to thank you for allowing God to use you to help us find a way out of 28:10 depression and good mental health. Dr. Nedley: Thank you very much. It's been my 28:15 privilege. Chris: Dear friend, Jesus desires abundant life and He has provided everything 28:23 necessary to achieve that abundant life. I hope you enjoyed today's program. 28:29 Please join us again next week. Until then, remember, it is written: "Man shall not 28:35 live by bread alone, but by every Word that proceeds from the mouth of God." |
Revised 2015-08-13