>>ANNOUNCER: IT HAS STOOD THE TEST OF TIME... 00:00:11.54\00:00:14.51 GOD'S BOOK, THE BIBLE. 00:00:15.28\00:00:18.15 STILL RELEVANT IN TODAY'S COMPLEX WORLD. 00:00:18.91\00:00:22.25 IT IS WRITTEN . . . 00:00:24.95\00:00:26.22 SHARING MESSAGES OF HOPE AROUND THE WORLD. 00:00:26.55\00:00:30.79 Chris: Thank you for choosing to watch It Is Written. We are in the seventh and last part 00:00:39.23\00:00:46.31 of our series "Depression: The Way Out." And what a blessing it is to know that depression, 00:00:46.41\00:00:53.38 which touches almost every family in the world, is not the end. There is a way out. 00:00:53.48\00:01:00.29 God has so created the human mind that the human mind can actually repair itself and can 00:01:00.39\00:01:07.73 find good mental health. Over the last several weeks, I have had the privilege of having 00:01:07.83\00:01:14.77 Dr. Neil Nedley with me through that series. Dr. Nedley, I'm so 00:01:14.87\00:01:20.68 thankful that you've joined us again to be a part of this series. Dr. Nedley: Thank you, 00:01:20.78\00:01:25.18 it's good to be here, Chris, thank you. Chris: Dr. Nedley is a physician of 27 years with a 00:01:25.28\00:01:30.39 specialty in internal medicine, specializing in mental health 00:01:30.49\00:01:36.73 and the difficult-to-diagnose patient. Dr. Nedley is also the president of Weimar Institute. 00:01:36.83\00:01:43.73 And Dr. Nedley, just as a refresher for our audience, what is Weimar institute? Dr. 00:01:43.83\00:01:49.10 Nedley: Weimar Institute is an educational institute, higher educational institute, has a 00:01:49.20\00:01:54.54 college. But it also has a lifestyle centre that we treat diabetes, a lot of physical 00:01:54.64\00:02:01.55 diseases, even cancer. And we also have an emotional health section where we treat 00:02:01.65\00:02:08.69 depression and anxiety recovery. Chris: Now, if someone were 00:02:08.79\00:02:12.89 interested in Weimar Institute or those two recovery. or those two programs, the depression 00:02:12.99\00:02:17.20 recovery, or the NEWSTART program, what are some websites 00:02:17.30\00:02:21.27 that they might be able to go to to get more information? Dr. Nedley: Yeah, for the depression 00:02:21.37\00:02:24.07 recovery, it's simply depressionthewayout.com. Chris: Okay, that's an easy 00:02:24.17\00:02:29.04 one. Dr. Nedley: Yeah. And for the physical disease portion, that is NEWSTART.com. 00:02:29.14\00:02:36.69 Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: And then for the college or the educational institutions, 00:02:36.79\00:02:40.76 there's also a four-month training course that anyone can really be a part of, and 00:02:40.86\00:02:46.29 then the lifestyle treatment of disease and that sort of thing. 00:02:46.39\00:02:49.93 That is simply Weimar.edu. Weimar.edu. Chris: Wonderful. Now, in this last piece of our 00:02:50.03\00:02:59.61 series, we are going to talk more about emotional intelligence. In fact, part six 00:02:59.71\00:03:05.28 was all about emotional intelligence. And just to maybe review a little bit, what is 00:03:05.38\00:03:12.05 emotional intelligence? Dr. Nedley: That's understanding our emotions and the emotions 00:03:12.15\00:03:16.79 of others and responding to those in a healthy way. Chris: And how important is 00:03:16.89\00:03:20.70 emotional intelligence or EQ? Dr. Nedley: It has more to do with our success and happiness 00:03:20.80\00:03:26.67 than even our IQ does. Chris: It has more to do with our success 00:03:26.77\00:03:32.94 than even our IQ. Dr. Nedley: Yeah. Chris: So this is something we want to be 00:03:33.04\00:03:35.28 listening, we want to be intent and understand what we're talking about when we talk about 00:03:35.38\00:03:38.85 emotional intelligence. Dr. Nedley: Correct. Chris: Now, what are some ways that a 00:03:38.95\00:03:45.39 person can improve their emotional intelligence? Dr. Nedley: Once we understand 00:03:45.49\00:03:50.09 that it's our thoughts that cause our emotions and behaviour, we can actually 00:03:50.19\00:03:55.23 analyze our thoughts for distortions. And there's ten different distorted ways of 00:03:55.33\00:04:01.14 thinking that we teach people. And then after they recognize which distortion is present, 00:04:01.24\00:04:07.84 then they have the chance to reconstruct their thoughts into what's true and accurate. 00:04:07.94\00:04:14.05 And a good thought that is true and accurate will also be one to help us to achieve our 00:04:14.15\00:04:21.29 goals and to help us to feel the way we want to feel. That's what 00:04:21.39\00:04:26.33 we call a rational thought. Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: And so it gets into analyzing our 00:04:26.43\00:04:30.03 thoughts and correcting those thoughts. Chris: And in simple principles, as we talk about 00:04:30.13\00:04:33.84 this, so in our last show, we left off with this idea, stop or pause, and think. Dr. 00:04:33.94\00:04:40.94 Nedley: That's right. Chris: And then what were those two words 00:04:41.04\00:04:43.68 that you used to describe how we change that thought pattern? Dr. Nedley: Well, we have to be 00:04:43.78\00:04:48.22 intentional and forceful to find evidence that supports a different way of thinking. 00:04:48.32\00:04:53.69 Chris: Okay. So we stop, we pause, we're intentional and forceful, and actually change 00:04:53.79\00:04:58.89 how we think. And by changing how we think, it changes how we feel, and in so doing, 00:04:58.99\00:05:06.40 allows us to achieve the goals that we have in life. Dr. Nedley: That's right. Not only 00:05:06.50\00:05:10.57 changes how we feel, but it changes our behaviour once that 00:05:10.67\00:05:14.71 happens as well. Chris: And you know, one of the things I appreciated most about what you 00:05:14.81\00:05:18.51 said there and what you have been saying is you've talked about rational thought. And I 00:05:18.61\00:05:23.08 think even in one of the shows, I use the word "positive thinking" and then you've 00:05:23.18\00:05:28.16 corrected that to rational thinking. And I like that because you know, we live in a 00:05:28.26\00:05:31.83 world where there's a lot of books written on the power of positive thinking, and these 00:05:31.93\00:05:35.83 kinds of things. We're not talking about some self-help stuff here. What we're talking 00:05:35.93\00:05:40.34 about is practical: stopping, analyzing, and then actually changing how we think. Dr. 00:05:40.44\00:05:46.14 Nedley: Mmhmm. And one of the ways of doing this is to recognize when we have an 00:05:46.24\00:05:50.78 irrational thought. Now, an irrational thought means that you're not feeling the way you 00:05:50.88\00:05:57.95 want to feel. If you're not feeling the way you want to feel 00:05:58.05\00:06:01.89 right now, there's irrational thought behind that. If you are not thinking in a way that helps 00:06:01.99\00:06:10.30 you to achieve your goals, that's irrational. Or if you are thinking things that are just 00:06:10.40\00:06:15.44 twisted and plain wrong, that's irrational. So if you. those are little red flags, if 00:06:15.54\00:06:22.51 people are going through their day and they're saying, "I don't want to feel this way," 00:06:22.61\00:06:25.65 they've got an irrational thought. Or if they're recognizing, "You know, I'm 00:06:25.75\00:06:30.79 not sure I'm thinking accurately. I'm in this fog. I'm not thinking clearly," 00:06:30.89\00:06:34.72 then that would be irrational as well. So there's little cues that we can have to tell 00:06:34.82\00:06:41.03 us it's time to stop. It's time to rethink and turn that irrational thought into a 00:06:41.13\00:06:47.44 rational thought. Chris: And for those that may have not watched our previous programs, 00:06:47.54\00:06:52.31 that effect or that ability to have a rational thought can be affected by a lot of outside 00:06:52.41\00:06:56.24 influences, and so they're going to want to watch the previous programs to help see 00:06:56.34\00:07:03.72 what those outside influences are, because if we're able to correct those, it's hard 00:07:03.82\00:07:07.66 enough to think rationally sometimes when we have no 00:07:07.76\00:07:12.53 outside influences controlling, really, or impeding our thought process. Dr. Nedley: Right. We 00:07:12.63\00:07:18.57 put people on what we call the spa therapy first when they come to our depression and anxiety 00:07:18.67\00:07:23.57 recovery program. And those are things that we are having them change lifestyle-wise to 00:07:23.67\00:07:30.21 their brain have better function: good exercise, good diet, light therapy, working 00:07:30.31\00:07:35.82 on getting them adequate and restorative sleep. The hydrotherapy part is 00:07:35.92\00:07:41.86 important. We even utilize massage. And so we're doing everything that helps this 00:07:41.96\00:07:47.03 brain function, and then once the brain is able to function, that's when we start this 00:07:47.13\00:07:52.93 process of analyzing their thoughts, and that's when things 00:07:53.03\00:07:58.77 click, and they're never the same again once they're able to get this down. Chris: Wow. Now, 00:07:58.87\00:08:04.68 what are the characteristics of someone who has high emotional 00:08:04.78\00:08:07.85 intelligence? Dr. Nedley: Well, they're going to be curious about other people. They're 00:08:07.95\00:08:12.19 going to be managing their emotions instead of being managed by their emotions. 00:08:12.29\00:08:16.32 They're going to have good relationships. And they're going to be well-motivated to achieve 00:08:16.42\00:08:21.10 their goals. They're going to be very interested in being a moral, good person. They'll 00:08:21.20\00:08:26.50 know their strengths and weaknesses accurately. When they are upset, they'll know 00:08:26.60\00:08:30.51 exactly why they're upset. If they do make a mistake, they 00:08:30.61\00:08:37.08 will actually take responsibility for their mistake and grow from that. And there's 00:08:37.18\00:08:43.42 other attributes as well. But they're just great people to be around and they're people that 00:08:43.52\00:08:47.39 are actually improving over time. Chris: Okay. So we've made a lot of this practical. Let's 00:08:47.49\00:08:54.93 look at some case studies. And you and I have talked. What better place to find case 00:08:55.00\00:09:00.77 studies than in God's Word? Because we see in the Bible actually some good case 00:09:00.87\00:09:07.31 studies on emotional intelligence. Dr. Nedley: Yes. Chris: Now, Dr. Nedley, any 00:09:07.41\00:09:11.98 characters, any individuals in the Bible that come to mind that we want to talk about a 00:09:12.08\00:09:17.45 little bit when we talk about emotional intelligence? Dr. Nedley: Well, Saul had issues 00:09:17.55\00:09:22.59 with his emotions. He was not feeling the way he wanted to feel. Chris: Okay. So we're 00:09:22.69\00:09:27.23 talking about King Saul of the Old Testament, the first king of Israel. And you say he's 00:09:27.30\00:09:33.64 not having some good thoughts. Let's talk about that a little bit. What kind of not good 00:09:33.74\00:09:37.57 thoughts was Saul having? Dr. Nedley: Well, he was having thoughts of anger and rage and 00:09:37.67\00:09:45.61 jealousy and depression. He would go into severer depression 00:09:45.71\00:09:50.65 and anxiety. Chris: Okay. And we see that. I mean, we see that in his dealing with David 00:09:50.75\00:09:55.09 specifically. David would become king after Saul. And he was jealous of David. He would 00:09:55.19\00:10:02.26 get angry with David. But you said Saul was depressed. Dr. Nedley: Mmhmm. Chris: How do 00:10:02.36\00:10:07.00 you know that Saul was depressed? Dr. Nedley: Well, his counsellors actually 00:10:07.10\00:10:10.57 stated it. They said, "We need to find a therapist to help this man out. We don't know 00:10:10.67\00:10:16.11 what to do with him." And he actually was down and felt hopeless. That's part of 00:10:16.21\00:10:22.15 depression. Chris: Okay. And so how does he then begin to feel or begin to get better 00:10:22.25\00:10:29.66 from that? Dr. Nedley: Well, the music therapy did help him to have rational thoughts. And 00:10:29.76\00:10:34.46 by the way, music therapy can be helpful today. We utilize it in 00:10:34.56\00:10:38.03 our program. Chris: Okay. Now, I want to his a pause button there. You said music therapy. 00:10:38.13\00:10:42.44 And we've briefly touched on that in these programs. What do you mean by music therapy? Dr. 00:10:42.54\00:10:48.51 Nedley: Well, it needs to be melodious music. It needs to be. the rhythm needs to be 00:10:48.61\00:10:53.98 more subdued. You know, that's why harp is ideal for this. You know, you can't play the 00:10:54.08\00:10:58.55 harp too loud. Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: And it brings out melodies and harmonies much 00:10:58.65\00:11:03.63 more than the rhythm. And just focusing in on that can help calm the mind and balance it. 00:11:03.73\00:11:10.10 Chris: Okay. So when we talk about music therapy, we're not talking about 80s pop, we're 00:11:10.20\00:11:14.97 not talking about rock music, we're not talking about heavy metal. Dr. Nedley: No. 00:11:15.07\00:11:19.47 Chris: We're talking about melodious music. You used the harp. What other kind of 00:11:19.57\00:11:23.18 examples, for someone who's listening and saying, "Music can actually help me think 00:11:23.28\00:11:28.48 better." What other kind of music are we talking about? Dr. Nedley: Well, the music of 00:11:28.58\00:11:32.09 Handel and Bach and many of these composers. Actually, Handel wrote his music for a 00:11:32.19\00:11:38.29 king that had depression. He understood music therapy. That's what the water music 00:11:38.39\00:11:42.10 was about, to get the king out on the river, get him outside in the light, and you know, 00:11:42.20\00:11:48.40 bring him down the river, where all this music was, to enhance his thoughts. And it 00:11:48.50\00:11:52.94 worked. Chris: Okay. So Saul goes through the music therapy. 00:11:53.04\00:11:57.78 And it calms his nerves. But does it solve all of his problems? Dr. Nedley: Well, 00:11:57.88\00:12:02.92 here's the issue. He had a cognitive distortion called 00:12:03.02\00:12:07.16 magnification and minimization. Chris: Magnification and minimization. Dr. Nedley: Yes. 00:12:07.26\00:12:12.19 Majoring in minors and minoring in majors. Getting things out of 00:12:12.29\00:12:18.03 proportion. Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: Now, the first way he minimized things is when Samuel 00:12:18.13\00:12:21.77 confronted him with mistakes that he had made. He minimized them and justified himself. 00:12:21.87\00:12:30.15 Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: And you know, when a man makes a mistake and doesn't correct 00:12:30.25\00:12:34.75 it, he's committing another mistake. Chris: Yes. Dr. Nedley: 00:12:34.85\00:12:38.75 And that another mistake is even worse than the first because he's doomed to repeat it. And so 00:12:38.85\00:12:44.43 instead of acknowledging where he went wrong and taking responsibility, which is what 00:12:44.53\00:12:50.47 an emotionally intelligent person will do, he minimized it. And then he began to 00:12:50.57\00:12:56.37 magnify the discipline that took place. He thought it was very 00:12:56.47\00:13:04.41 unfair that his punishment outweighed the crime. But yet, the punishment was given by God. 00:13:04.51\00:13:10.12 We know God is a just God. And a lot of people that dwell on being treated unfairly all the 00:13:10.22\00:13:15.76 time actually have been treated rather fairly. And Saul was treated fairly in this whole 00:13:15.86\00:13:22.53 situation. Now, we also need to understand that every human being is going to be treated 00:13:22.63\00:13:27.14 unfairly at times. Chris: Absolutely. Dr. Nedley: But when 00:13:27.24\00:13:29.44 we're treated unfairly and we continue to rehearse it and dwell on it, that's going to 00:13:29.54\00:13:33.71 lower our emotional intelligence significantly. So we should never dwell on how we've been 00:13:33.81\00:13:38.91 treated unfairly and continue to rehearse it. And then the third 00:13:39.01\00:13:44.79 aspect of this magnification is he magnified himself. And magnification of self, where we 00:13:44.89\00:13:54.76 get into egotism and arrogance, we might actually feel better being arrogant at first, but 00:13:54.86\00:13:59.03 arrogance always comes before feelings of worthlessness. So first you have pride, then as 00:13:59.13\00:14:07.18 a result you have wounded pride later on, and then you begin to 00:14:07.28\00:14:12.55 have these awful thoughts. And if you remember, they were coming in from a great victory. 00:14:12.65\00:14:18.52 And the women were so glad to see them because they were alive and the women were going to be 00:14:18.62\00:14:23.69 protected now and so thousands of women came together to celebrate this homecoming. And 00:14:23.79\00:14:30.07 they sang this song: "Saul has slain his thousands, but David his tens of thousands." And if 00:14:30.17\00:14:36.87 Saul had not developed a sense of pride, elevated sense of self, pride would've never 00:14:36.97\00:14:43.38 even wounded. He would have just put his arm around David and said, "I put him in a 00:14:43.48\00:14:47.25 position to succeed." And he would've been very glad to honour the all-star of the 00:14:47.35\00:14:51.85 battle as well. But instead, his pride was wounded. And you know, 00:14:51.95\00:14:59.93 there's a great book. In fact, we recommend it. It's called What Your Counsellor Never Told 00:15:00.10\00:15:04.23 You: The Seven Sins that Lead to Mental Illness. It's actually written by a clinical 00:15:04.33\00:15:09.24 psychologist, William Backus. But he gives you a little test to see whether you might have 00:15:09.34\00:15:14.64 pride or whether the viewer might have pride. Trying to be noticed. Craving attention. 00:15:14.74\00:15:20.18 Itching for compliments. Needing to be important. detesting the 00:15:20.28\00:15:26.52 idea of being submissive. Loathing the idea of admitting to wrongdoing. Strongly 00:15:26.62\00:15:32.19 opinionated. Argumentative. Demanding and actually standing up for our individual rights all 00:15:32.29\00:15:38.43 the time. And then thinking we have excellences we actually don't have. William Backus 00:15:38.53\00:15:46.47 says, "Watch out. If you have any of those or particularly more than one, pride is there. 00:15:46.57\00:15:51.28 And wounded pride will follow." Chris: And we know the end of 00:15:51.38\00:15:57.12 the story for Saul is not a happy story. Saul never resolves his mental illness. Dr. Nedley: 00:15:57.22\00:16:04.66 He never took care of his distortions for more than a few days. He actually did for a few 00:16:04.76\00:16:08.53 days 'cause David actually became his clinical psychologist as well and helped him to 00:16:08.63\00:16:14.34 correct some of those distorted thoughts. But he didn't rehearse 00:16:14.44\00:16:18.51 it and that's the other thing. We have to practice this, not just correct it once or twice. 00:16:18.61\00:16:23.14 We need to practice it. And as a result, when stress was coming in to his life, he demanded 00:16:23.24\00:16:32.09 that God answer him the way he said He should. And by the way, beware of ever demanding 00:16:32.19\00:16:38.13 that the Lord answer you the way you state that He should. Because if He doesn't answer, 00:16:38.23\00:16:44.33 chances are, He's already answered; you're just not putting it into practice what 00:16:44.43\00:16:49.90 He has stated. And then he went to the wrong counsellor. And beware of going to the 00:16:50.01\00:16:54.18 wrong counsellor. The wrong counsellor gave him a lot of truthful information, but then 00:16:54.28\00:16:58.18 gave him some terrible untruths, and that is, there was no hope 00:16:58.28\00:17:04.39 for Saul, that he had doomed himself, which wasn't true. There was hope right up until 00:17:04.49\00:17:10.39 the end. And now with these feelings of hopelessness and stress coming in, his enemies 00:17:10.49\00:17:15.63 coming in, he did what you would expect someone to do in that situation: he took his own 00:17:15.73\00:17:21.24 life, committed suicide. An unnecessary death, had he taken care of the underlying 00:17:21.34\00:17:27.64 distortions that were causing his mental compromise. Chris: Wow. Now, there are 00:17:27.74\00:17:34.08 many other examples we could go to, but let's go to an example maybe that is a little 00:17:34.18\00:17:39.52 bit more hopeful. Dr. Nedley: Yes. Chris: And let's talk about Elijah. Elijah. How 00:17:39.62\00:17:46.09 is Elijah a case study in emotional intelligence? Dr. Nedley: Well, Elijah actually 00:17:46.19\00:17:52.67 was not prideful. So everyone comes to depression for a different set of reasons. He 00:17:52.77\00:18:00.21 actually wasn't like another Bible character, Solomon, who was just trying to do fun 00:18:00.31\00:18:06.58 things to obtain pleasure, which of course, caused him to have a 00:18:06.68\00:18:10.65 lot of lack of pleasure, which is very common today. But Elijah always wanted to follow the will 00:18:10.75\00:18:17.36 of the Lord, so he was a spiritual person. He was really a whole person. He had 00:18:17.46\00:18:22.93 a lot of great attributes. But after his tremendous victory on 00:18:23.03\00:18:28.74 Mount Carmel, he anticipated the entire nation was going to change, which actually, they 00:18:28.84\00:18:34.18 were on the precipice of changing. And then when his life got threatened by Jezebel again 00:18:34.28\00:18:38.61 and said he's going to be dead within 24 hours, you know, he did have a reason to fear her 00:18:38.71\00:18:43.92 'cause she had killed all the other prophets already. But instead of waiting on the 00:18:44.02\00:18:48.49 Lord, which he had always done, he took off running for his 00:18:48.59\00:18:54.00 life. And 30 days later, he asked the Lord to take his life. He wants to die. And of course, 00:18:54.93\00:19:00.74 the Lord had to put him on a depression recovery program. Angels came and fed him food. 00:19:00.84\00:19:05.11 I think there was some flaxseed in that meal. He was put on an exercise program to 00:19:05.21\00:19:10.48 get out the cave. He had light therapy. And what really helped him, though, was the 00:19:10.58\00:19:17.95 cognitive behavioural therapy where he began to have a dialogue, and then as a result 00:19:18.05\00:19:24.59 of that dialogue, distorted thoughts were found. And his distorted thought was 00:19:24.69\00:19:28.33 overgeneralization. He said, "I'm the only one that has not bowed the knee to Baal." And 00:19:28.43\00:19:35.90 the Lord let him get by with that the first time, but now when he repeats it, the Lord 00:19:36.00\00:19:40.51 had to put him on pause and say, "Elijah, you're just wrong. 00:19:40.61\00:19:45.38 You're wrong by a factor of seven thousand." What he should've said is, "I'm the only 00:19:45.48\00:19:50.35 one I know of." But in reality, he just knew he was the only one, and that's why I tell 00:19:50.45\00:19:56.19 people, "It's not what we don't know that hurts us so much; it's what we know for sure that 00:19:56.29\00:20:01.40 just is not so." 00:20:01.50\00:20:03.83 And so once Elijah corrected that, he still wasn't better until he followed what the 00:20:04.27\00:20:09.57 Lord told him to do. The Lord told him to do three things, none of which he wanted to do. 00:20:09.67\00:20:13.31 And this is very typical for my depressed patients. Normally they want to do a lot 00:20:13.41\00:20:18.01 of the things I tell them. There's usually one or two or three that's saying, "Uh, 00:20:18.11\00:20:22.08 uh-huh. I don't really want to do this," but yet, those are the crucial things that will 00:20:22.18\00:20:27.89 get them over the hump. Chris: Yes. Dr. Nedley: And Elijah trusted in the Lord 00:20:27.99\00:20:31.16 that he did those three things, even though he had no predilection to want to do 00:20:31.26\00:20:35.43 them. And not only did he recover from depression, he established the school of 00:20:35.53\00:20:40.80 prophets. And the Bible says he was translated without seeing death. Chris: That is 00:20:40.90\00:20:46.91 an amazing story. Now, and not just a story. That is an actual 00:20:47.01\00:20:52.21 event of Biblical history. Any case studies, and we don't have a lot of time, Dr. Nedley, but 00:20:52.31\00:20:57.89 any case studies of any patients that you might want to share briefly of success on 00:20:57.99\00:21:03.16 emotional intelligence? Dr. Nedley: Yes, I'll share the story of Mikayla. Mikayla, 00:21:03.26\00:21:07.86 like many individuals that come to our program, suffered abuse 00:21:07.96\00:21:13.90 at an early age. Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: Actually, at age 13, she began to be sexually 00:21:14.00\00:21:19.51 abused by a friend. And she of course didn't tell anybody about it. But this beautiful, 00:21:19.61\00:21:26.45 energetic girl that had all these positive things that everyone thought she was going 00:21:26.55\00:21:30.65 to be a great woman, started to spiral down and nobody really realized what was going 00:21:30.75\00:21:36.62 on. And so by the time she was 15, this guy had moved away, but she started to actually 00:21:36.73\00:21:43.43 try to find her satisfaction in men. And she would go from one relationship to another, 00:21:43.53\00:21:48.70 one breakup to another. And finally, she's in Cancun with the relationship that she 00:21:48.80\00:21:55.51 finally thinks is going to work. She's working at a pharmacy as a 00:21:55.61\00:22:00.98 tech. The pharmacy, head of the pharmacy, is now very interested 00:22:01.08\00:22:06.69 in her and takes her to Cancun on this vacation. And while she's flipping through his 00:22:06.79\00:22:13.26 mobile phone, the first morning there, she sees a provocative pose of another pharmacy tech 00:22:13.36\00:22:17.90 just two days earlier. And she realizes, "I'm not the only one. This is the same problem. 00:22:18.00\00:22:26.14 There is no hope." And she tries to take her own life with the four pills. By this 00:22:26.24\00:22:31.98 time, she's on four different medicines. They misdiagnose with bipolar disorder and all 00:22:32.08\00:22:36.42 this. And so she ends up in the hospital, comes out of the hospital to his care, and then 00:22:36.52\00:22:46.80 she does it with another medicine which almost does take her life. About a week 00:22:46.90\00:22:50.97 later, she ends up in our program and she's feeling hopeless. She wants to die. 00:22:51.07\00:22:57.47 Her parents don't know anything about what to do with her. So we put her through the 00:22:57.57\00:23:02.78 spa therapy and then we get to the thoughts. Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: And what she had 00:23:02.88\00:23:08.32 done is she had elevated this desire for men to actually be a need. And actually, to be 00:23:08.42\00:23:20.66 happily married, we first must be happily single. And actually, 00:23:20.76\00:23:27.10 we don't have to have a relationship in order to be happy. We have to be happily 00:23:27.20\00:23:33.68 single first. So we taught her to be BP-proof, in other words, boy-proof. And she even had to 00:23:33.78\00:23:40.58 learn how to dress differently in regards to that so she could work on being happily single. 00:23:40.68\00:23:46.15 And she got rid of her distorted thoughts. Her feelings of hopelessness she recognized as 00:23:46.25\00:23:50.29 a distortion. And she turned her life completely around. She is a happy girl. She's off 00:23:50.39\00:23:58.17 all of her psychiatric medicines. She's now in P.A. school. And she. her emotional 00:23:58.27\00:24:05.11 intelligence is near the top of the charts. So she's actually in 00:24:05.21\00:24:10.51 much better shape now to be a successful person than someone her age who's never been 00:24:10.61\00:24:16.75 depressed or anxious because she's learned the principles of mentally healthful living and 00:24:16.85\00:24:22.12 she got rid of her magnification. Same thing that Saul had. She was majoring in 00:24:22.22\00:24:27.00 minors and minoring in majors. She corrected that. Chris: So there's a way out. Dr. 00:24:27.10\00:24:32.70 Nedley: There is a way out. Chris: And even though life may have been unfair to us, in 00:24:32.80\00:24:38.21 reality, and not a distortion, but life has really been unfair, and terrible things 00:24:38.31\00:24:43.78 have happened to Mikayla. She was able to take time, pause, analyze the situation, change 00:24:43.88\00:24:52.25 her thought processes, and actually get out of this rut and now is living a life to 00:24:52.35\00:25:00.80 its fullest and not letting life dictate to her how she should 00:25:00.90\00:25:07.14 live. Dr. Nedley: That's right. Chris: And Dr. Nedley, I don't want to put words in your 00:25:07.24\00:25:11.24 mouth, but it would seem that that is really what emotional intelligence is all about, is 00:25:11.34\00:25:16.38 about taking the time to stop, analyze, change your thought processes, and actually become 00:25:16.48\00:25:24.99 a mentally healthy person. Dr. Nedley: Yeah, the Lord said to Elijah when he was distressed, 00:25:25.09\00:25:30.73 "What doest thou here?" Chris: Yes. Dr. Nedley: In other words, 00:25:30.83\00:25:35.56 stop, analyze. What is it that got you here? What are your thoughts? And that was the 00:25:35.66\00:25:40.07 process that started his improvement. Chris: And that is a point where we're going to 00:25:40.17\00:25:44.47 stop because we're out of time. And I think, Dr. Nedley, you have encapsulated everything in 00:25:44.57\00:25:52.28 just those few moments, that there is hope and that there is a way out. And Dr. Nedley, 00:25:52.38\00:25:58.15 as we close out this series, "Depression: The Way Out", I think I would find it a 00:25:58.25\00:26:04.56 privilege if you would pray for our audience on this subject. 00:26:04.66\00:26:10.83 Dr. Nedley: Father in heaven, we thank You so much for the interest that You have in our 00:26:10.93\00:26:16.54 health of body, mind, and soul. And just like Your desire for Elijah to improve, and for 00:26:16.64\00:26:24.78 Mikayla to improve, You desire each viewer here to live an emotionally satisfying, 00:26:24.88\00:26:31.55 fulfilled, and successful life. And so we pray, Lord, that You might assist them and 00:26:31.65\00:26:37.96 they might look to You for strength as well as these simple principles that we have 00:26:38.06\00:26:43.87 been talking about, practicing in their life what Elijah and Solomon and others and Mikayla 00:26:43.97\00:26:51.91 have had to practice, so that they can not only live a life more abundantly, but a life 00:26:52.01\00:26:58.55 that has an infectious, positive influence on others. We thank You for hearing and 00:26:58.65\00:27:05.65 answering this prayer, in Jesus' name, amen. 00:27:05.75\00:27:08.89 Chris: I've been privileged to spend the last few weeks with Dr. Neil Nedley, and I'd like 00:27:12.09\00:27:15.76 to offer to you the introductory DVD that Dr. Nedley has put 00:27:15.86\00:27:20.64 together that will give you practical steps to emotional and mental health. I'd like to also 00:27:20.74\00:27:26.54 offer to you for any size donation the full series, "Depression: The Way Out." 00:27:26.64\00:27:33.18 Here's the information you need to receive today's offer. 00:27:33.28\00:27:35.88 Chris: Dr. Nedley, on behalf of our Canadian audience and the audience around the world, 00:28:00.24\00:28:04.81 I want to thank you for allowing God to use you to help us find a 00:28:04.91\00:28:10.52 way out of depression and good mental health. Dr. Nedley: Thank you very much. It's been my 00:28:10.62\00:28:15.26 privilege. Chris: Dear friend, Jesus desires abundant life and He has provided everything 00:28:15.36\00:28:23.43 necessary to achieve that abundant life. I hope you enjoyed today's program. 00:28:23.53\00:28:28.94 Please join us again next week. Until then, remember, it is written: "Man shall not 00:28:29.04\00:28:35.31 live by bread alone, but by every Word that proceeds from 00:28:35.41\00:28:41.78