Participants: Chris Holland (Host), Dr. Neil Nedley
Series Code: IIWC
Program Code: IIWC201424A
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00:11 >>ANNOUNCER: IT HAS STOOD THE TEST OF TIME...
00:14 GOD'S BOOK, THE BIBLE. 00:18 STILL RELEVANT IN TODAY'S COMPLEX WORLD. 00:24 IT IS WRITTEN . . . 00:26 SHARING MESSAGES OF HOPE AROUND THE WORLD. 00:38 Chris: Thank you so much for watching It Is Written. Today we are in the sixth part of a 00:44 series on depression. Now, maybe you're not depressed and you're about to turn off the 00:49 TV. Don't turn off that TV because depression is a subject that not only touches 00:53 every family, but the principles we've been learning help any individual have 00:58 better brain function and really a better life in general. And I'm absolutely 01:04 thrilled to have with me in studio Dr. Neil Nedley. Dr. Nedley, thank you so much for 01:10 joining me today. Dr. Nedley: Thank you, Chris. It's great to be here. Chris: You 01:13 know, Dr. Nedley has joined us for all of this series. Dr. Nedley is a physician that's 01:19 been practicing for 27 years. He is an internal medicine doctor with a specialty in 01:27 mental health and the hard-to-diagnose patient. In addition to those 01:33 responsibilities and seeing patients, Dr. Nedley is the president of Weimar Institute. 01:39 Dr. Nedley, tell me, what is Weimar Institute? Dr. Nedley: Weimar Institute is an 01:44 institute of higher education. We have a college, we have advanced degrees. But it is. 01:51 its motto is to heal a hurting world, physically, mentally, socially, spiritually. And so 02:00 the students that go there learn how they can actually do that as part of their career. 02:08 But we also have a NEWSTART program. And of course, that's part of their education, but 02:13 people come from all over the world that have diabetes or heart disease or other 02:17 physical diseases, cancer, for instance, and need additional approaches. And so we treat 02:25 things through nutrition and lifestyle approaches there, plus some traditional 02:29 approaches as well. Chris: Okay, now, I want to hit a pause button there. You 02:32 said "NEWSTART program." Dr. Nedley: Yeah. Chris: Now, many of our viewers would be 02:35 familiar with NEWSTART because Bev Haines has gone through the NEWSTART acronym, which is 02:40 an acronym, as I understand it, an acronym that actually was. originated at Weimar, 02:47 actually trademarked by Weimar Institute. Dr. Nedley: That's right. Anyone who uses the 02:51 term actually is supposed to be checking with us and getting permission because it 02:55 is trademarked. Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: And of course, it stands for things. That what 03:00 an acronym is. So nutrition, exercise, water, sunlight, temperance, air, rest, trust 03:05 in God. Those are the eight natural remedies that are utilized in the NEWSTART 03:10 program that bring about pretty profound results. Chris: Okay. And if someone 03:15 was interested, maybe somebody's watching and they say, "Yeah, I'd be really 03:18 interesting in getting into a program that's going to help me in my lifestyle." How would 03:22 they find out more about the NEWSTART program? Dr. Nedley: NEWSTART.com. 03:26 Chris: That simple, just go to NEWSTART.com, find out. Now, if somebody was interested in 03:30 Weimar and the higher learning institution that's there, how would they find out more about 03:36 that? Dr. Nedley: That would be Weimar.edu. Chris: Now, is there anything else that 03:40 happens at Weimar that might be helpful to somebody watching? Dr. Nedley: Well, we 03:43 put on the mental health program, the depression and anxiety recovery program. And 03:47 for that program, you need to log onto d e pressionthewayout.com. 03:52 Chris: Okay. That's easy to remember. And so anyone that's interested in those things, 03:56 depressionthewayout.com; NEWSTART.com; and Weimar.edu Dr. Nedley: Correct. 04:04 Chris: Very good. Well, Dr. Nedley, as we've been talking about depression, how big of a 04:11 problem in the world is depression? Dr. Nedley: It's a big enough problem that one 04:15 out of four women at some point in their life in the western world are going to 04:21 suffer from it. One out of eight men. And that's actually old data. Newer data shows 04:28 it's probably going to be more likely than that even in the future. So that's going to 04:32 touch a large segment of society. Chris: And it is a big problem here in Canada. 04:37 And how is depression traditionally treated? Dr. Nedley: Number one treatment, 04:44 even today, is medication. Chris: Okay. How successful is treating depression through 04:50 medication? Dr. Nedley: Medications have their limitations, unfortunately. 04:54 Medicines can help. The drug company data shows up to 70% of the time, it might produce 05:01 some benefit, but only 20% or maybe up to 28%, depending on the study, will actually have 05:12 a remission as a result of taking medicine. Chris: 20 to 28% actually experience 05:19 remission through taking medication. We've talked about this before, and I want to be 05:24 careful making too much of a joke at it. But you know, a traditional doctor, an 05:30 orthopedic surgeon that was only 25% of the time successful in fixing a knee, 05:37 fixing an elbow, fixing a shoulder, not going to be practicing very long, are 05:42 they? Dr. Nedley: They wouldn't. The medical associations would eliminate 05:45 them pretty quick. Chris: Okay. And to the view that's watching that might be 05:50 taking medication, we're not advocating that they need to go take, you know, just stop 05:53 taking their medication or anything like that. Nothing radical. Dr. Nedley: No, they 05:56 still need to be seeing their doctor. Chris: Okay. But we've been going through this 06:01 process here and through this series of programs here where we've found that there is a 06:06 way out of depression and ways to address it actually. and I hate to use the word 06:13 "naturally" but addressing it with practical steps that I can do right today through 06:19 lifestyle change. Dr. Nedley: That's right. Chris: And if you've missed 06:22 any of those shows, you can go to our youtube channel, youtube.com/iiwcanada, and you 06:28 can watch any of these programs. Now, today, we're going to talk about another 06:34 way to address the issue of depression and a way to address actually mental health 06:40 in general. And we're talking about emotional intelligence. Dr. Nedley: Yes. Chris: Now, 06:46 I've heard about IQ. Dr. Nedley: Yeah. Chris: Okay, but EQ. Emotional intelligence. 06:52 What is emotional intelligence? Dr. Nedley: Emotional intelligence 06:56 is knowing and understanding your emotions and the emotions of others and responding to 07:03 those emotions in a healthy way. Chris: Knowing and understanding my emotions. 07:08 Knowing and understanding others' emotions. And responding in a healthful way. 07:13 Dr. Nedley: In a healthy way. Chris: In a healthy way, okay. Dr. Nedley: Mmhmm. Chris: Now, 07:20 why is emotional intelligence important, then? Dr. Nedley: Well, it has more to 07:23 do with our success and happiness than even our IQ does. In fact, how successful 07:30 you are in life as well as how happy you are has been intricately tied to your EQ or 07:40 your emotional quotient or emotional intelligence. So it's a very important mental 07:46 health factor. So important that we measure it in every patient that comes in to see 07:52 me for mental health issues, and after they're treated, measure it again to see where 07:57 they're at in this process. Chris: So emotional intelligence, or EQ, the 08:02 emotional quotient, is more important than IQ in having a successful life. Dr. 08:08 Nedley: Correct. Chris: Okay. And you've addressed some of that, but let's expand a 08:11 little. Why is that and what are you seeing as you see patients with. and you analyze 08:16 their EQ? Dr. Nedley: Well, it gets into the five aspects of emotional intelligence. First 08:23 one is knowing our emotions. In other words, being able to identify precisely the emotion 08:29 that we're feeling at that time. But not only identifying the emotion, but knowing why 08:35 we're feeling that way. And if we blame the why on just what someone else did to us, or 08:42 what happened to us, we actually don't have a very high emotional intelligence, 08:48 because it's not only what happens to us, but our role in what happens to us, in other 08:55 words, what we think about what happened to us, that then plays a direct bearing on our 09:01 emotions and our behaviour. See, Chris, it's our thoughts that cause our emotions and 09:08 behaviour. And so emotionally intelligent people are actually disciplining their 09:15 thoughts. They're not only knowing their emotions and why they're feeling that way; the 09:19 second aspect is they're managing their emotions. People with low emotional 09:24 intelligence are simply managed by their emotions, moment by moment, day by day. 09:31 People with high emotional intelligence still have powerful emotions, but they're 09:35 managing those emotions. Quite different. Chris: Okay. So knowing is the first step. And 09:41 then managing. And then what are those other aspects? Dr. Nedley: The other aspects are 09:46 recognizing emotions in others. And the fourth part is managing relationships with 09:52 others. And you might guess this is why it has a lot to do with our happiness, 'cause our 09:58 happiness has so much to do with our social relations. Chris: Yes. Dr. Nedley: And 10:01 the fifth aspect is motivating ourselves to achieve our goals. In the word "emotion" 10:06 is the word "motion." If our emotions are based on what's true and accurate, it can 10:12 powerfully motivate us to achieve our goals. And that's why it's also very much 10:18 intricately connected with our success. Chris: Okay. So when we talk about emotional 10:24 intelligence, the aspects of emotional intelligence, it's knowing; it's managing; 10:30 recognizing in others; managing; and what was that last one? Dr. 10:33 Nedley: Motivating ourselves to achieve our goals. Chris: So we understand what 10:37 emotional intelligence is. Dr. Nedley: Yes. Chris: We understand the aspects of 10:41 emotional intelligence. What influences emotional intelligence? Dr. 10:47 Nedley: Well, our genetics have a role to play. Our current level of emotional 10:51 support has a role to play. Even how much sleep we've gotten in the last 48 hours 10:56 can influence us. Our nutrition, what we're eating can have an influence over us. 11:02 But for most people, the most important aspect of emotional intelligence is simply our 11:11 beliefs, our evaluation of events, the way we think about problems, and our silent 11:19 self-talk. Those are the moment-by-moment messages that we're giving ourselves. 11:25 Chris: So our beliefs. How we're evaluating things. And how we're thinking. That is 11:31 the most important influence on emotional intelligence. Dr. Nedley: Yes. Chris: Okay. 11:37 So. and if emotional intelligence is going to dictate. and by the way, this 11:43 is very hopeful for individuals because you know, if we don't score high on the 11:50 IQ test, now, another show, we're going to talk about how to improve that IQ. But not as 11:59 a part of this series. But what you're saying, though, is even more important than your 12:03 IQ is your EQ, or your emotional intelligence. Dr. Nedley: Correct. Chris: And 12:07 that emotional intelligence, the things that are going to influence it the most are our 12:11 beliefs, how we evaluate, and how we think. Dr. Nedley: Yes. Chris: So then, 12:16 how can someone improve their emotional intelligence? Dr. Nedley: Our feelings actually 12:23 result from the messages we give ourselves. Our thoughts have much more to do with how 12:31 we're feeling than what is actually happening in our life. And research has 12:36 documented that negative thoughts which cause emotional turmoil nearly always contain 12:42 gross distortions. The thoughts on the surface appear rational, but they are often 12:50 just plain wrong, and twisted thinking is a major cause of suffering. So the answer to 12:57 your question is, we need to correct distorted thoughts, and our emotional intelligence 13:04 will dramatically improve. Chris: Okay. So we're going to come to this distorted 13:10 thoughts, but what you're saying, because I want to make sure we're hearing this and 13:16 I'm hearing this. What happens in my life and how I feel is actually directly related to 13:24 how I think about what's happening. And so, I could be going through a bad situation, 13:31 and if I'm thinking right, then my feelings would be better. Dr. Nedley: Exactly. 13:37 You know, Paul and Silas are a good example. They were taken against their will. They were 13:42 beaten 39 times with cat o' nine tails. Their backs were laid open. They were then put 13:48 on an irregular dirt floor with rocks, feet put up in stocks. And there they were, 13:55 crying uncontrollably in prison and sang, "Why us, Lord?" Chris: Now, Dr. Nedley, 14:00 I know you're doing that a little tongue in cheek. Actually, we find them singing 14:03 songs. Dr. Nedley: Yeah. Chris: And you know, the Bible doesn't necessarily convey 14:11 emotions, but they seem. they're not complaining at all. Dr. Nedley: They have 14:14 happy looks on their faces. Chris: Yes. Dr. Nedley: And they were singing praises to 14:17 God. Now, why could they be doing that? Because their thoughts had much more to do 14:23 with how they were feeling than what was actually happening in their life. And 14:28 they weren't thinking fantasy thoughts. It wasn't pop psychology that they were on a 14:32 beach on Lake Ontario somewhere, you know. They were thinking true and accurate 14:37 thoughts. And those true and accurate thoughts were so powerful that under the most 14:42 adverse circumstances, they could still have great emotional stability. 14:48 Chris: Okay. So what we need to do is we need to change thinking errors or distorted 14:56 thinking or cognitive distortion. Dr. Nedley: Correct. Chris: Okay. 15:00 So what would be an example of distorted thinking or cognitive distortion? Dr. 15:05 Nedley: Well, mental filter, for instance. There's actually ten different ways of 15:10 distorted thinking. Chris: Okay. So ten different ways. Dr. Nedley: I'm just 15:14 going to name a few of them here. So a mental filter, this is where you're just looking 15:17 at one side of the equation. Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: I'll tell you about a gentleman who 15:21 came to our program. He said, "Nothing is going right in my life." Chris: Okay. Dr. 15:27 Nedley: He said, "My boss yells at me almost constantly. My roof is leaking. I don't 15:33 have even enough money to pay for this program. I had to take it out on credit cards. 15:38 My wife nags almost constantly. Furthermore, I'm short and fat and now I'm 15:44 going bald. Nothing good in my life." But yet as I talked to him, I realized that he had a 15:51 beautiful wife, even though he was short and fat. He still slept well. He could still 15:57 feed himself, he could still walk. He actually enjoyed his church. He had some good 16:02 friends. And he had the potential to do a lot of good things. But here he was on the 16:07 one side of the equation. Nothing good in my life. A mental filter. Chris: Okay. So 16:13 a mental filter is going to prevent us to think positively about near anything. Dr. 16:20 Nedley: Yeah, rationally, really. It's not going to get us thinking rationally. And 16:24 the solution to that mental filter is you have to be intentional and forceful at 16:30 finding evidence to support a different way of thinking. So it requires some thought 16:36 process yourself in regards to, "Wait a minute. I'm not looking at just one side of 16:41 the equation. Let's be intentional and forceful. Is there a different way I can 16:45 think about this?" Chris: Okay. And so yeah, and you said it twice, but I want 16:49 to make sure we caught that. So the way I deal with an intentional. excuse me. The 16:53 way I deal with a mental filter is I think the two words you used were 16:56 "intentional" and "forceful." Dr. Nedley: Yes. Chris: Okay. So if I have a mental filter 17:02 and I think nothing good can happen to me. My life is awful. My life is terrible. 17:08 Whatever that mental filter is that now is going to set the stage for everything in my 17:13 life, intentional and forceful. Maybe discuss a little bit more. What does it 17:17 mean to be intentional and forceful? How am I going to change that mental filter? 17:21 Somebody's watching right now today saying, "That's my life. Nothing good happens in my 17:27 life." How can they change their thinking on that? Dr. Nedley: Well, they need to 17:30 stop and realize, is there anything good in my life? You know, and you know, this guy's 17:35 wife, for instance, he said nags, but you know, she was a beautiful girl and he loved 17:39 her and she had a lot of positive things about her. Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: But 17:42 yet, you know, nothing good? Wait a minute. There's some good things about that woman. 17:47 Otherwise, you wouldn't have married her to begin with. And you know, even though you're 17:52 going bald, I mean, there's still lots of things that you can. actually, he was a 17:58 good-looking guy. So it does require some pausing, some stopping, and some 18:07 re-analyzation and trying to just look at the other side. "Now, wait a minute. Can I 18:11 look at the other side?" And yeah, sometimes it's tough and you're just thinking on one 18:15 side. So yes, it requires you to take some time. Maybe you need to go out and take a 18:19 walk. Take a few deep breaths and then say, "Okay, I'm going to be intentional. Let's see 18:24 what I can fill out on the other side here." Chris: And then you take the walk. You're 18:29 going to get some exercise, which is going to help you to have some frontal lobe 18:33 activity, which is going to help you to think more logically and have better 18:37 judgement so you can make a better decision. Dr. Nedley: Exactly. Chris: And 18:41 you know, it's an amazing thing. And as we talk about things in the realm of the 18:46 Bible and spiritual things, it's amazing in our society that the devil has used things 18:53 that can be used for good, but to use them, to keep us so busy, that we never have a 18:59 moment to think. And what you're saying there is we need to take a pause. And I know 19:04 it's not the same thing, but all I can remember is from my childhood, you know, when they 19:08 teach you about fire, if you're ever on fire, stop, drop, and roll. And what 19:12 you're saying is, is if we have a mental filter, and we've said, "Nothing good can 19:17 happen in my life," or whatever the mental filter is, "I am this way," I need to 19:20 stop, I need to pause, I need to think, and I need to be intentional and forceful in 19:28 changing how I think. Dr. Nedley: Exactly. Chris: Okay. Now, you said there's ten 19:32 different. now, we don't have time to go through all ten, but maybe we can do at least 19:36 one or two more. What's another cognitive distortion? Dr. 19:39 Nedley: Overgeneralization. Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: Now, intelligent people have a 19:45 tendency to do this because to generalize, you have to be intelligent. Chris: Okay. Dr. 19:50 Nedley: But there's a tendency to overgeneralize. And I'll just tell you an example of 19:55 another case. Chris: Please. Dr. Nedley: This was actually a suitemate of mine, actually 20:00 lived in the same dorm when I was in my pre-med years, you know, my second year. And he 20:06 had his eye on a girl for about six months because he mustered up enough courage to 20:11 ask her out. Chris: Okay. Dr. Nedley: And he came to ask me. I gave him some advice. He was 20:16 kind of shy. And afterwards, he was walking back to the dorm. Looks like he's about 20:21 ready to cry. And I said, "Glen, what happened?" He said, "Neil, I'm destined to 20:25 be lonely and miserable for the rest of my life." Chris: Okay. Dr. 20:29 Nedley: "What did she say?" "She said she had another event and couldn't go." And I 20:33 said, "So you conclude that?" And he said, "I just got to thinking, if she just thought 20:37 half as much about me as I think about her, she would've cancelled that event and gone 20:41 with me, so I'm destined to be lonely and miserable the rest of my life." Now, Glen 20:46 overgeneralized in two ways. Because she turned him down once, he thought she was 20:51 always going to turn him down. Did he really know that to be true? He was assuming it, but 20:55 no, he didn't know that to be true. And secondly, he assumed that 100% of eligible women 21:01 had identical taste to hers. And thus, he would be endlessly rejected the rest of 21:07 his life. People with overgeneralization have a fear of rejection, a fear of trying 21:11 new things. And another example. Chris: And in the same way, do you deal with 21:18 that the same way? Intentional and forceful? Stop, pause, and be intentional and forceful to 21:23 change that thinking? Dr. Nedley: Yes, that's right. It does require some stopping and 21:26 some pausing and seeing if there's a different way in which you can think about it 21:31 that's more accurate. Chris: As we're closing, and it's hard to believe we're 21:34 running out of time here, but maybe, what are the characteristics, as we close 21:39 out, of someone with high emotional intelligence? Dr. Nedley: They're going to be 21:43 curious about other people, the people that they don't know. They also know their 21:50 limitations. They're going to know their strengths and they're going to know their 21:54 weaknesses. They're going to be very much interested in what is true and accurate. 22:00 Truth is a foundational principle for those who are emotionally intelligent. They 22:06 are also going to be willing to stop and help others, but they'll also know when to say 22:13 no when they're not the best one to be helping others. And they will. if they have those 22:20 things and other talents, they're going to have a good leadership potential. And they 22:26 are very interested in being moral and good. Chris: It's hard to believe we're out of 22:34 time, Dr. Nedley. But you gave those characteristics. And someone's going to want to 22:40 watch next week 'cause we're going to give practical examples of that. Let's end 22:43 today with a word of prayer. Heavenly Father, we're so grateful that we don't have to 22:49 be trapped, that there is a way out, and there is a way for us each to think 22:55 differently. Please give us the strength today to think differently and have high 22:59 emotional intelligence. We pray this in Jesus' name, amen. 23:22 "Great is Thy faithfulness," O God my Father, 23:32 There is no shadow of turning with Thee; 23:40 Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not 23:49 As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be. 24:00 Great is Thy faithfulness! 24:04 Great is Thy faithfulness! 24:08 Morning by morning new mercies I see; 24:17 All I have needed Thy hand hath provided 24:25 Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me! ummer and winter, and springtime and 24:43 harvest, 24:45 Sun, moon and stars in their courses above, 24:53 Join with all nature in manifold witness 25:01 To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love. reat is Thy faithfulness! 25:16 Great is Thy faithfulness! 25:21 Morning by morning new mercies I see; 25:29 All I have needed Thy hand hath provided 25:38 Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me! 25:49 Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth, 25:58 Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide; 26:07 Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, 26:15 Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside! 26:26 Great is Thy faithfulness! 26:31 Great is Thy faithfulness! 26:35 Morning by morning new mercies I see; 26:44 All I have needed Thy hand hath provided 26:53 Great is Thy faithfulness, 26:58 Great is Thy faithfulness, 27:05 Lord, unto me! 27:25 Chris: Dear friend, Jesus desires for us to have abundant life. And part of 27:34 I'd like to make an offer to you today. I 27:36 want to offer the Dr. Nedley introductory DVD where he'll give practical steps on how to 27:42 have good emotional health. I'd like to also offer to you for any size donation the full 27:49 "Depression: The Way Out" series. Here's the information you need for today's offer. 28:21 Chris: Dr. Nedley, thank you so much for joining us today. Dr. Nedley: It's been great 28:24 being here. Chris: Will you join us again next week? Dr. Nedley: Yes. Chris: All right. 28:27 And I thank you, friend, for joining us. Please join again next week. Until then, 28:31 remember, it is written: "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every Word that 28:38 proceeds from the mouth of God." |
Revised 2015-08-13