¤[music ends]¤¤
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>>John Bradshaw:
This is "It Is Written."
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I'm John Bradshaw.
Thanks for joining me.
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There are not too many times
in the Bible that God says,
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"If you do this,
you will not be saved."
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Now, there's a place right
at the very end of the Bible,
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in fact, the seventh-last verse
of the Bible, where God says,
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"But outside are
dogs and sorcerers
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"and sexually immoral
and murderers and idolaters,
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and whoever loves
and practice a lie."
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That's Revelation 22:15.
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Now, there's a passage
in 2 Timothy 3 that says
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that "perilous times [shall]
come" in earth's last days
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when "men will be lovers of
themselves, lovers of money,
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"boasters, proud, blasphemers,
disobedient to parents,
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unthankful, unholy"--and so on.
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Ultimately, that's a
catalog of 18 or 19 sins.
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Of course, people
caught in that may repent,
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but when Paul writes,
"From such turn away,"
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you know it's
clear that these people
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are headed in
the wrong direction.
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But you're not
surprised by that.
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Sorcerers and the
sexually immoral and murderers
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and idolaters and
liars and blasphemers
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and lovers of money--
these people have told you
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by their actions that they
are not especially interested
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in God's will for their life.
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But here's something
that might surprise you.
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It's Matthew 6,
starting in verse 14:
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"For if you forgive
men their trespasses,
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"your heavenly Father
will also forgive you.
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"But if you do not
forgive men their trespasses,
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neither will your Father
forgive your trespasses."
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That's clear.
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If you don't forgive,
God will not forgive you.
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And that's not saying we
are forgiven because we forgive,
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but we're
forgiven as we forgive.
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So let's look at that again.
We'd hate to misread that.
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"If you do not
forgive men their trespasses,
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neither will your Father
forgive your trespasses."
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That's soberingly
clear. And I say "soberingly"
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because so many people
have issues with forgiveness.
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And yet here's God saying
if you won't forgive others,
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you can expect that
God will not forgive you.
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And that stands to reason.
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Forgiveness is an
attribute of the divine,
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an expression of
divine love and grace.
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When you welcome
Jesus into your life,
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forgiveness must
become a feature of your life
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because Jesus is now the
anchor of your existence.
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Then someone who has deep
issues they're dealing with
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thinks, "How is that possible?"
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You know, hurt can go deep.
People can do terrible things.
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Certain things can be
very difficult to forgive.
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¤[soft reflective music]¤
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Let me share with you
a story of forgiveness.
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The man in question was
born south of Buffalo, New York,
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and raised in
Long Beach, California.
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As a child, he learned to fight
so he could handle the bullies
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who gave him a hard
time for being Italian.
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In high school he developed
into an outstanding runner.
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He competed in the
Olympic Games trials in 1936
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in New York City in temperatures
of up to 100 degrees,
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or 38 Celsius.
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The stars of those
trials included Jesse Owens;
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Mack Robinson, the older brother
of baseball's Jackie Robinson;
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and this man, Louis Zamperini,
who finished in a dead heat
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for first in the
final of the 5,000 meters,
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becoming at just 19 years
of age the youngest American
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to ever qualify for the Olympic
Games in the 5,000 meters,
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which is a
distinction he still holds.
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He finished fifth in his
heat at the Berlin Olympics
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and eighth in the final.
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At those Olympics,
Zamperini met Adolf Hitler
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after catching Hitler's eye by
running the fastest single lap
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ever run in the 5,000.
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"You're the boy with the fast
finish," Hitler said to him.
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It wouldn't be long and
Louis Zamperini and Adolf Hitler
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would be looking at
each other very differently.
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Five years after
the Olympics in 1941,
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the year the United
States joined World War II,
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Louis Zamperini
joined the U.S. Air Force.
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He was posted to
Tuvalu, or the Ellice Islands,
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as they were then
known, in the South Pacific.
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And he narrowly escaped with
his life when his B-24 bomber
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was attacked by Japanese
Zeros during a raid on Nauru,
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which at the time
was held by Japan.
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Just weeks later his plane
crashed into the Pacific Ocean
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1,300 kilometers--that's about
800 miles--south of Hawaii.
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And he drifted in a
life raft for almost 50 days.
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Sharks ominously
followed the raft
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while its occupants
survived on rainwater
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and the few fish and
birds they were able to catch.
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The raft was strafed repeatedly
by a Japanese aircraft.
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But in spite of being filled
with holes, it never sank.
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Of the 11 people on board
the plane when it crashed,
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only three survived.
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One of those men died,
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leaving only Zamperini and
one other as the only survivors.
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They were taken prisoner
by Japan when they came ashore
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on the Marshall Islands.
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And it was then
that Zamperini's life
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descended into the
stuff of nightmares.
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His biography, "Unbroken,"
written by Laura Hillenbrand,
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discusses the cruelty
and torture he endured
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at the hands of
his Japanese captors.
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The book spent
more than four years
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on the New York
Times bestseller list,
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including more than
three months at number one.
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It was made into a
movie, also titled "Unbroken,"
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directed by Angelina Jolie.
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In the movie, the brutality
of Zamperini's captors,
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in particular one
certain prison guard,
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was portrayed in
excruciating detail.
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On one occasion he
forced Zamperini to hold
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a two-meter-long beam of wood
above his head for 37 minutes
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in an attempt to
break the American.
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The psychological
cruelty was also extreme
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during the two and a
half years Zamperini spent
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in three separate
Japanese POW camps.
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After the war, he was plagued
by memories of what he endured
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as a prisoner of war.
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Of course, by now his
running career was over.
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When he competed at
the age of 19 in Berlin,
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he believed that
the 1940 Tokyo Olympics
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would be the real
opportunity he would have
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to win an Olympic gold medal.
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Those games were never held,
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although ironically it
was the time he spent in Japan
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that would largely
define the rest of his life.
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How do you come back from
what Zamperini went through?
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It was
dehumanizing, soul destroying.
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He endured brutal cruelty.
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He suffered what
today we call PTSD.
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After returning
home he had nightmares
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in which he dreamed of
being bludgeoned by his captors.
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He often thought of
murdering the man who stalked
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and tormented him every day
while he was a prisoner of war.
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And he actually made
plans to return to Japan
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and kill that man.
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Struggling with alcoholism and
with his marriage in tatters,
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at the urging of his wife,
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he went to hear the famous
preacher Billy Graham speak
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at a revival
meeting in Los Angeles.
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The second night he attended,
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his heart was
touched by Graham's message,
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and he gave his life
to Jesus that very night.
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And in an
absolute miracle of God,
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the hatred he felt for the
man who had cruelly abused him
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while he was a
POW just melted away.
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He forgave him.
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He even wrote to the man
expressing his forgiveness
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and sharing with
him his faith in Jesus.
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There are many
people living their lives
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chained to another person.
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I'll tell you more
about that in just a moment.
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¤[upbeat music
swells and ends]¤¤
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>>John: Almost everyone
has issues with forgiveness.
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It can be hard to forgive
an ex, a teacher, a boss,
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or someone who has
wronged you or your family.
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Forgiveness can be difficult,
but there is a way to forgive.
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Jesus said if we don't forgive
others, God won't forgive us.
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Get today's free
offer, "Forgiveness,"
00:08:46.92\00:08:49.06
and learn how you can forgive.
00:08:49.09\00:08:51.69
Call 800-253-3000
00:08:51.73\00:08:54.20
or visit iiwoffer.com.
00:08:54.20\00:08:56.46
"Forgiveness,"
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call now: 800-253-3000.
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>>John Bradshaw: Thanks for
joining me on "It Is Written."
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Author Laura Hillenbrand
described Louis Zamperini
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as an incorrigible
delinquent as a child.
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She spent seven
years getting to know him,
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researching, and
writing her book, "Unbroken."
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Here's what Hillenbrand
wrote in a "Guideposts" article:
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"To live in
bitterness is to be chained
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"to the person who wounded you,
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"your emotions and actions
arising not independently,
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"but in reaction to your abuser.
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"Louie became so obsessed
with vengeance that his life
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"was consumed by
the quest for it.
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"In bitterness, he was as
much a captive as he'd been
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"when barbed wire
had surrounded him.
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"This is why forgiveness is so
liberating. But how is it found?
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"For Louie, it lay in
resurrecting his dignity,
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"seeing himself not
as the wretched creature
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"that the Bird had
striven to make of him,
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"but as the object
of God's infinite love."
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It was forgiveness that
changed Louis Zamperini's life
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and set him free to
live with peace in his heart.
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In 1950 he
visited a prison in Tokyo,
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where several of his former
prison guards were being kept.
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And he told
them he forgave them.
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Prior to the Nagano Winter
Olympics almost 50 years later,
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he carried the Olympic
torch for about half a mile
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between rows of
Japanese soldiers
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near one of the prison
camps in which he'd been held.
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He tried to meet with the man
who persecuted him so terribly
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during his
imprisonment in Japan.
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But the man refused to meet him.
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Forgiveness.
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I spoke with a woman once
whose parents were senselessly
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murdered by a man who had
escaped from a halfway house,
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where he'd been serving a
sentence for manslaughter.
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The murderer made off
with an old vehicle and $61.
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During his
trial, the woman, Sue,
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visited the man and told
him that she didn't hate him.
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"My grandmother always taught
me not to use the word hate,"
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she told him.
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"She taught me that we
are here to love one another.
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If you are
guilty, I forgive you."
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She later said, "I
didn't think of him as a killer,
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I thought of him
as a human being."
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Not everyone was happy
that Sue chose not to hate.
00:11:18.67\00:11:22.84
To begin with,
00:11:22.88\00:11:24.05
even the killer was confused
by Sue's words and actions.
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She said, "There is no way
to heal and get over the trauma
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"without forgiveness.
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"You must forgive and forget
and get on with your life.
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That is what Jesus would do."
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While Sue never felt the
murderer should be released
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from prison, she
became friends with him.
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Through her
example and friendship,
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the man became a
devout Christian believer.
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Now, that can seem like a
bridge too far for many people
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who struggle with
the idea of forgiveness.
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But forgiveness
does much more for you
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than it does the
person you forgive.
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When an It Is
Written team visited Rwanda
00:12:04.52\00:12:06.99
not long after
the 1994 genocide,
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It Is Written team
members met a woman
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whose family had been
killed in the tragedy.
00:12:11.86\00:12:15.10
When she came face
to face with the killer,
00:12:15.13\00:12:17.80
she explained to him that seeing
00:12:17.83\00:12:19.60
as she no longer had any sons,
he would have to be her son.
00:12:19.63\00:12:25.94
She took him into
her home and treated him
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as she would have
treated one of her own children.
00:12:29.11\00:12:32.31
That's radical forgiveness.
00:12:32.35\00:12:36.65
But whether or
not that feels to you
00:12:36.69\00:12:38.52
like something
you could ever do,
00:12:38.55\00:12:40.86
it does tell
you what's possible.
00:12:40.89\00:12:43.16
And if someone can forgive
00:12:43.19\00:12:44.63
the person who
brutalized him in POW camp,
00:12:44.66\00:12:47.93
if a woman can forgive the
man who murdered her parents,
00:12:47.96\00:12:50.90
if a woman can forgive
the man who killed her family,
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then maybe you can forgive
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whatever it is you're
facing or dealing with.
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Life has taught me that almost
everyone has forgiveness issues
00:12:58.54\00:13:02.54
of one kind or another.
00:13:02.58\00:13:04.45
It might be an ex, an
old teacher, a parent,
00:13:04.48\00:13:07.98
a boss or former boss, a
colleague or former colleague.
00:13:08.02\00:13:11.69
And often people carry around
with them baggage from years,
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sometimes years and years ago.
00:13:15.19\00:13:18.96
You might have heard it said
that choosing not to forgive
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is like taking a poison pill and
hoping the other guy will die.
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Of course you've been wronged.
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You've been harmed and,
and hurt or maybe abused,
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mistreated as a child,
abandoned by your father,
00:13:30.67\00:13:34.01
raised by
parents who were violent.
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Let's not minimize any of that.
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If you've been through some
trauma or if you've had hurt
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or pain or humiliation
dumped on you, that's terrible.
00:13:41.32\00:13:45.15
But choosing not to
forgive doesn't make it better.
00:13:45.19\00:13:48.26
In fact, it makes
it a whole lot worse.
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Forgiveness enables you to
navigate pain successfully.
00:13:51.79\00:13:56.53
Imagine you were mistreated
and your marriage went south.
00:13:57.53\00:14:00.37
Let's assume you were
100 percent in the right
00:14:00.40\00:14:04.01
and that he or she was
100 percent in the wrong.
00:14:04.04\00:14:07.08
That's definitely not outside
the realm of possibility.
00:14:07.11\00:14:10.11
You were married for, let's
say, 15 years, and it's been,
00:14:10.15\00:14:12.91
what, 10 years now,
00:14:12.95\00:14:15.05
and you've never forgiven the
other person for what they did.
00:14:15.08\00:14:17.95
So what that
means is that someone
00:14:17.99\00:14:19.52
who hasn't been in your life
for a decade still causes you
00:14:19.55\00:14:24.03
to feel angry or bitter.
00:14:24.06\00:14:26.43
You're not married to them,
you haven't been for a decade,
00:14:26.46\00:14:29.86
but you're still taking
them with you everywhere you go.
00:14:29.90\00:14:34.10
How much sense does that make?
00:14:34.14\00:14:36.91
An old school
teacher that you didn't like,
00:14:36.94\00:14:38.67
and who didn't like you, made
your life a misery, was unfair,
00:14:38.71\00:14:41.98
maybe even cost you something.
00:14:42.01\00:14:44.51
It's probably been decades
since you saw that teacher,
00:14:44.55\00:14:46.92
and here you are allowing
them to have a massive influence
00:14:46.95\00:14:50.12
on your life all
these years later.
00:14:50.15\00:14:52.29
If you forgive that person,
they're no longer going to be
00:14:52.32\00:14:55.02
that kind of
influence in your life.
00:14:55.06\00:14:57.43
Not forgiving causes you
to carry a burden with you
00:14:57.46\00:15:01.46
everywhere you go.
00:15:01.50\00:15:03.00
So, what do you do?
00:15:04.00\00:15:05.63
What you do is...
you choose to forgive.
00:15:05.67\00:15:09.14
Now, I know that
opens up a can of worms,
00:15:09.17\00:15:11.01
but let's be sure we understand
what forgiveness is not.
00:15:11.04\00:15:14.98
Forgiveness isn't making
what that person did okay.
00:15:15.01\00:15:19.58
By forgiving your sister-in-law
00:15:19.61\00:15:20.85
saying horrible
things about you,
00:15:20.88\00:15:22.88
you're not making what
she did right or acceptable.
00:15:22.92\00:15:25.72
Forgiveness doesn't
let someone off the hook.
00:15:25.75\00:15:29.39
And it doesn't mean
that you have to go back
00:15:29.42\00:15:31.03
to being best friends.
00:15:31.06\00:15:32.59
Sometimes it might be best
not to allow a relationship
00:15:32.63\00:15:36.10
to go back to what it was before
whatever happened happened.
00:15:36.13\00:15:40.74
The thing with not forgiving is
00:15:40.77\00:15:42.04
it feels like you get
some sort of satisfaction.
00:15:42.07\00:15:46.54
You can feel powerless
after someone mistreats you.
00:15:46.57\00:15:49.84
And choosing not to
forgive might feel like you have
00:15:49.88\00:15:52.65
some power, as though
you're punishing that person.
00:15:52.68\00:15:56.62
Listen. Your dead grandfather
00:15:56.65\00:15:58.99
or your brother who moved
to Costa Rica 20 years ago
00:15:59.02\00:16:02.32
or that cranky basketball
referee who called fouls on you
00:16:02.36\00:16:05.06
in the championship game
when you were in high school--
00:16:05.09\00:16:07.66
none of those
people are worse off
00:16:07.66\00:16:09.96
because you won't forgive them.
00:16:10.00\00:16:12.13
They've forgotten all about the
very thing you won't let go of.
00:16:12.17\00:16:16.00
No, you want to
be bigger than that.
00:16:16.04\00:16:19.31
Remember what Jesus
said about forgiveness.
00:16:19.34\00:16:21.28
"For if you forgive
men their trespasses,
00:16:21.31\00:16:24.05
"your heavenly Father
will also forgive you.
00:16:24.08\00:16:27.25
"But if you do not
forgive men their trespasses,
00:16:27.28\00:16:29.85
neither will your Father
forgive your trespasses."
00:16:29.88\00:16:32.42
If you refuse to forgive someone
for what they've done to you,
00:16:32.45\00:16:35.96
God won't forgive you your sins.
00:16:35.99\00:16:38.73
That's how serious this is.
00:16:38.76\00:16:41.83
And that's because every
last person alive has sinned
00:16:41.86\00:16:45.53
and is in need of
forgiveness from God.
00:16:45.57\00:16:48.20
If you're willing
to be forgiven by God,
00:16:48.24\00:16:50.57
it's inappropriate to not extend
forgiveness to someone else.
00:16:50.61\00:16:55.51
Jesus taught a parable in
which He spoke about a man
00:16:55.54\00:16:58.28
who owed his employer a
gargantuan sum of money.
00:16:58.31\00:17:02.22
The boss demanded
the man repay the money.
00:17:02.25\00:17:04.12
There was no way he could.
00:17:04.15\00:17:05.49
When the man begged for mercy,
00:17:05.52\00:17:08.06
his employer just forgave
the debt, the whole thing,
00:17:08.09\00:17:12.43
just forgave him.
00:17:12.46\00:17:14.23
Well, then our man came
across someone who owed him
00:17:14.30\00:17:16.46
a comparatively small sum.
00:17:16.50\00:17:19.03
When that man said he
couldn't pay the debt right away
00:17:19.07\00:17:21.54
and begged for a reprieve,
this man wouldn't have any of it
00:17:21.57\00:17:26.68
and lowered the boom on
him and had him punished,
00:17:26.71\00:17:29.91
which obviously was
grossly inappropriate
00:17:29.94\00:17:34.08
and made the point
that Jesus was making.
00:17:34.12\00:17:38.02
But what about when you've
been through something so bad
00:17:38.05\00:17:40.86
that you can't possibly forgive?
00:17:40.89\00:17:44.19
We'll look at
that in just a moment.
00:17:44.23\00:17:46.70
¤[upbeat music
swells and ends]¤¤
00:17:46.73\00:17:53.70
>>John: Thank you for
remembering that It Is Written
00:17:55.67\00:17:57.61
exists because of the kindness
of people just like you.
00:17:57.64\00:18:00.68
To support this international
life-changing ministry,
00:18:00.71\00:18:04.28
please call us
now at 800-253-3000.
00:18:04.31\00:18:08.55
You can send your
tax-deductible gift
00:18:08.58\00:18:10.02
to the address on your screen,
00:18:10.05\00:18:11.49
or you can visit us
online at itiswritten.com.
00:18:11.52\00:18:15.32
Thank you for your prayers
and for your financial support.
00:18:15.36\00:18:18.16
Our number
again is 800-253-3000,
00:18:18.19\00:18:22.30
or you can visit us
online at itiswritten.com.
00:18:22.33\00:18:25.33
>>John: There's
nothing like a great dad.
00:18:26.27\00:18:29.00
Great dads
influence their children,
00:18:29.04\00:18:31.14
protect and grow their families,
00:18:31.17\00:18:32.91
and contribute to society.
00:18:32.94\00:18:35.24
But the truth is not
every dad is a great dad.
00:18:35.28\00:18:39.95
There are plenty of
average dads, and, sad but true,
00:18:39.98\00:18:44.19
there's no shortage of bad dads.
00:18:44.22\00:18:47.12
Bad dads are found
all through the Bible,
00:18:47.16\00:18:49.62
God preserving their stories
00:18:49.66\00:18:51.43
so we can avoid making
the same mistakes they made.
00:18:51.46\00:18:54.66
Don't miss "Bad Dads
and What They Teach Us."
00:18:54.73\00:18:58.17
Learn from the failings of some
of the most illustrious people
00:18:58.20\00:19:01.34
in biblical history,
00:19:01.37\00:19:03.10
people who managed to
make a mess of parenting.
00:19:03.14\00:19:06.88
There's hope for every parent
who doesn't always get it right,
00:19:06.91\00:19:11.11
and that's because the best
Dad of all wants to see parents
00:19:11.15\00:19:15.02
be all that they can be.
00:19:15.05\00:19:17.65
"Bad Dads and
What They Teach Us,"
00:19:17.69\00:19:19.79
brought to you
by It Is Written TV.
00:19:19.82\00:19:22.52
>>John Bradshaw: You talk about
forgiveness and the importance
00:19:25.53\00:19:27.60
of forgiveness, and
someone is thinking,
00:19:27.66\00:19:30.07
"But you don't know
what I've been through.
00:19:30.10\00:19:31.80
How could I possibly
forgive what was done to me?"
00:19:31.83\00:19:34.94
Right. It might have
been something very difficult.
00:19:34.97\00:19:38.04
It's not so hard to forgive the
person who left a little dent
00:19:38.07\00:19:40.44
in your car or who borrowed
something and then lost it--
00:19:40.48\00:19:43.35
small stuff.
00:19:43.38\00:19:44.78
But while not
everything is small,
00:19:44.81\00:19:47.22
everything is forgivable
and should be forgiven.
00:19:47.25\00:19:51.89
It's better for you that way.
00:19:51.92\00:19:53.89
And it'll result in the
blessing of God in your life.
00:19:53.92\00:19:57.73
You'll grow
through that experience,
00:19:57.76\00:19:59.89
and you'll understand more
of what God has done for you.
00:19:59.93\00:20:03.73
Remember, Jesus died
for the sins of the world.
00:20:04.73\00:20:08.54
He died so you could
be forgiven for the things
00:20:08.57\00:20:10.94
you've done that have brought
pain to the heart of God.
00:20:10.97\00:20:14.31
The divine Son
of God died for you.
00:20:14.34\00:20:16.98
The Bible says in 1
Corinthians 15, verse 3,
00:20:17.01\00:20:19.98
"Christ died for our sins."
00:20:20.02\00:20:22.65
And every person
alive has sinned--everyone.
00:20:22.68\00:20:26.62
There's no one pure.
The only pure one was Jesus,
00:20:26.65\00:20:30.46
and He died for your sins.
00:20:30.49\00:20:33.50
Now, there are at least
two aspects to forgiveness.
00:20:33.53\00:20:36.30
One is forgiving others.
00:20:36.33\00:20:38.50
Dr. Martin Luther
King Jr. once said,
00:20:38.53\00:20:40.30
"He who is devoid
of the power to forgive
00:20:40.34\00:20:43.20
is devoid of the power to love."
00:20:43.24\00:20:45.57
When asked by
one of His disciples
00:20:45.61\00:20:47.21
how often a person
should forgive, Jesus said--
00:20:47.24\00:20:50.18
not seven times, as had
been suggested by Peter--
00:20:50.21\00:20:54.22
Jesus said,
"Seventy times seven."
00:20:54.25\00:20:57.42
And that's not
suggesting a limit of 490 times.
00:20:57.45\00:21:01.72
This was Jesus
saying, "Forgive."
00:21:01.76\00:21:05.53
And there's the aspect
of being forgiven by God.
00:21:05.56\00:21:08.43
You might struggle with this
00:21:08.46\00:21:09.86
because of the way
we are wired as humans.
00:21:09.90\00:21:12.53
We carry this idea with us that
people deserve certain things,
00:21:12.57\00:21:16.27
and it's really hard to
get out from under that idea
00:21:16.30\00:21:18.91
if you haven't done
well or if you've done wrong
00:21:18.94\00:21:21.04
or if you have a bad track
record, and you feel, then,
00:21:21.08\00:21:23.35
that you don't
"deserve" to be forgiven.
00:21:23.38\00:21:26.45
That is a self-destructive idea.
00:21:26.48\00:21:30.62
God doesn't forgive you because
you deserve to be forgiven.
00:21:30.65\00:21:35.32
He forgives you because
He is merciful and gracious
00:21:35.36\00:21:38.66
and wants to free you from
the burden of guilt and shame
00:21:38.69\00:21:42.33
and negative feelings.
00:21:42.36\00:21:44.67
God forgives those who
genuinely want to be forgiven.
00:21:44.70\00:21:49.90
That's what God does.
00:21:49.94\00:21:53.84
The book of Psalms calls God
"good, and ready to forgive."
00:21:53.88\00:21:58.98
Here's the assurance you have:
00:21:59.01\00:22:01.35
"If we confess our sins, He is
faithful and just to forgive us
00:22:01.38\00:22:06.55
our sins and to cleanse
us from all unrighteousness."
00:22:06.59\00:22:11.83
Now, you hear people say
all the time that they have
00:22:11.86\00:22:13.56
a hard time forgiving themselves
for what they've done.
00:22:13.60\00:22:16.87
"If only I could
forgive myself," someone says.
00:22:16.90\00:22:20.30
Well, no. Let me tell you this.
00:22:20.34\00:22:24.11
From a biblical perspective,
there's absolutely nothing
00:22:24.14\00:22:27.74
that says you need to
forgive yourself for something
00:22:27.78\00:22:30.31
that you've done or for
the life that you've lived.
00:22:30.35\00:22:32.95
In fact, forgiving
yourself is not possible.
00:22:32.98\00:22:37.09
Who made you God?
00:22:37.12\00:22:39.15
Instead of forgiving yourself,
00:22:39.19\00:22:41.49
you accept God's forgiveness
for what you have done.
00:22:41.52\00:22:45.99
The reality is that people who
talk about forgiving themselves
00:22:46.03\00:22:48.83
are really talking about
something else altogether.
00:22:48.86\00:22:52.63
I'll give you an example.
00:22:52.67\00:22:54.40
You back out of your driveway
00:22:54.44\00:22:56.14
and run over your
neighbor's little dog.
00:22:56.17\00:22:59.17
Your neighbor loved that dog
00:22:59.21\00:23:00.91
and will be
heartbroken and lonely.
00:23:00.94\00:23:04.21
You were in a hurry. You
didn't look behind the car.
00:23:04.25\00:23:06.65
You, you just backed out,
and there was little Fido,
00:23:06.68\00:23:09.15
who's now dead.
00:23:09.18\00:23:10.75
Mrs. Jones next door
tells you it's all okay,
00:23:10.79\00:23:13.12
she knows it was an accident,
00:23:13.15\00:23:14.36
Fido shouldn't have
been off his leash anyway,
00:23:14.39\00:23:16.49
and she insists
you should not worry.
00:23:16.52\00:23:18.99
You hear that,
you understand that,
00:23:19.03\00:23:21.06
but as the days go by
you still feel terrible
00:23:21.10\00:23:23.40
about the whole
thing, and you think
00:23:23.43\00:23:25.40
that what you're wrestling with
is that you can't figure out
00:23:25.43\00:23:27.90
how to forgive
yourself for what you've done.
00:23:27.94\00:23:31.31
But that's not accurate.
00:23:31.34\00:23:32.74
You're not trying to forgive
yourself for what you've done;
00:23:32.77\00:23:36.04
you're trying to work out
how to live with the knowledge
00:23:36.08\00:23:38.51
that you did
this unfortunate thing
00:23:38.55\00:23:40.45
and that now poor Mrs. Jones
is without her little friend.
00:23:40.48\00:23:43.65
You say something
horrible to someone.
00:23:43.69\00:23:45.32
You've been friends for years.
00:23:45.35\00:23:46.86
Again, you're trying to work out
00:23:46.89\00:23:48.42
how to live with that
awful thing that you've done.
00:23:48.46\00:23:51.09
You cheat on your spouse;
your marriage falls apart.
00:23:51.13\00:23:53.63
A ton of lives
are turned upside down
00:23:53.66\00:23:56.10
because of your poor judgment.
00:23:56.13\00:23:59.40
And what you're
trying to do is work out
00:23:59.43\00:24:02.44
how to live with
what you've done.
00:24:02.47\00:24:05.37
You can't
possibly forgive yourself,
00:24:05.41\00:24:08.44
so there's no point
even trying to do so.
00:24:08.48\00:24:12.75
What you do is accept the
forgiveness God offers you.
00:24:12.78\00:24:17.12
Even after being
forgiven, you'll feel terrible
00:24:17.15\00:24:19.05
about what you've done,
and you probably should.
00:24:19.09\00:24:21.72
But you trust that
God has forgiven you,
00:24:21.76\00:24:23.49
and you accept that forgiveness.
00:24:23.53\00:24:25.76
That terrible feeling
will get better with time.
00:24:25.79\00:24:28.56
Any forgiveness you
could offer yourself
00:24:28.60\00:24:30.83
wouldn't be
worth anything anyway.
00:24:30.87\00:24:33.23
Forget all about
trying to forgive yourself.
00:24:33.27\00:24:35.97
Trust in the
forgiveness that God gives you.
00:24:36.00\00:24:40.74
And forgiveness
often isn't easy.
00:24:40.78\00:24:43.85
The truth is if
someone has harmed you
00:24:43.88\00:24:45.65
or harmed
someone in your family,
00:24:45.68\00:24:47.88
might be that you have
to forgive again and again.
00:24:47.92\00:24:50.32
You might wrestle with feelings
of anger and bitterness,
00:24:50.35\00:24:52.69
and, and that
wouldn't be at all surprising.
00:24:52.72\00:24:55.26
But you continue to
surrender those feelings to God,
00:24:55.29\00:24:57.49
and you know that in time
00:24:57.53\00:24:59.59
God will change
your heart completely.
00:24:59.63\00:25:02.76
In Louis Zamperini's case it
happened almost instantaneously.
00:25:02.80\00:25:07.14
In the lives of many
others, it works differently.
00:25:07.17\00:25:11.61
In 2010 a teenage
driver's moment of carelessness
00:25:11.64\00:25:16.04
behind the wheel resulted in
the death of a 4-year-old boy.
00:25:16.08\00:25:20.18
News outlets reported that
when the local community reacted
00:25:20.22\00:25:23.52
angrily toward the
driver, the little boy's parents
00:25:23.55\00:25:27.49
chose compassion over
anger and forgave the young man.
00:25:27.52\00:25:32.43
The father of the young
child whose life was taken
00:25:32.46\00:25:35.06
said that the
decisions he and his wife made
00:25:35.10\00:25:38.30
were also about
helping their own recovery.
00:25:38.33\00:25:41.54
He asked this question:
"How do you move forward
00:25:41.57\00:25:44.64
if you are consumed
by hatred and anger?"
00:25:44.67\00:25:48.21
Regarding the anger
that the community expressed,
00:25:48.24\00:25:50.68
the father said,
"What did that anger serve?"
00:25:50.71\00:25:55.15
Peter denied Jesus,
and Jesus forgave him.
00:25:55.18\00:25:59.92
As Jesus was being crucified,
00:25:59.95\00:26:01.39
He prayed to His Father, and
He said, "Father, forgive them."
00:26:01.42\00:26:05.96
If you'll open
your heart up to Jesus,
00:26:05.99\00:26:07.96
He'll give you the
ability to forgive.
00:26:07.96\00:26:10.77
And as you do, you'll
develop the character of Jesus.
00:26:10.80\00:26:15.27
You'll bless your own life,
00:26:15.30\00:26:17.94
and you'll bless
the lives of others.
00:26:17.97\00:26:20.78
Now, to help
you in this journey,
00:26:20.81\00:26:22.11
I've put together a
resource, wrote it myself,
00:26:22.14\00:26:24.28
with you in mind. I
want you to have it.
00:26:24.31\00:26:26.95
It's called "Forgiveness."
00:26:26.98\00:26:29.42
You read this little resource,
you will learn how to forgive,
00:26:29.45\00:26:32.52
and you'll learn how
to experience the blessing
00:26:32.55\00:26:34.72
of forgiveness in your life.
00:26:34.76\00:26:36.79
Here's what you do to get it.
00:26:36.83\00:26:37.73
Call right now: 800-253-3000.
00:26:37.76\00:26:41.30
Now, if the line is
busy, call back later.
00:26:41.33\00:26:43.47
Call any time: 800-253-3000.
00:26:43.50\00:26:46.90
Or you can go online;
visit us at iiwoffer.com.
00:26:46.94\00:26:51.07
Let me pray with you now.
00:26:51.11\00:26:53.41
Our Father in heaven, we
thank You that You've given us
00:26:53.44\00:26:55.94
the blessing of forgiveness.
00:26:55.98\00:26:57.75
You forgive us for our sins,
00:26:57.78\00:26:59.28
those sins that
fastened Your Son Jesus
00:26:59.31\00:27:02.65
to an old rugged cross.
00:27:02.68\00:27:04.82
And we are grateful
for that forgiveness.
00:27:04.85\00:27:06.32
We don't deserve it.
00:27:06.35\00:27:08.32
Now, there are
people who have wronged us,
00:27:08.36\00:27:09.76
and maybe we feel like
they don't deserve forgiveness,
00:27:09.79\00:27:12.33
but I'm praying that
You will give us grace
00:27:12.36\00:27:14.30
and empower each one
right now to be forgiving,
00:27:14.36\00:27:17.23
to practice forgiveness.
00:27:17.27\00:27:19.23
And even if it doesn't feel like
forgiveness has taken place,
00:27:19.27\00:27:22.74
give that person the ability
to make a conscious decision
00:27:22.77\00:27:25.51
to forgive and know that
forgiveness has happened.
00:27:25.54\00:27:28.21
Friend, can you forgive?
00:27:28.24\00:27:30.21
Are you thinking
of somebody right now
00:27:30.25\00:27:31.71
that you should forgive?
00:27:31.75\00:27:32.85
Maybe you've
felt like you cannot.
00:27:32.88\00:27:35.08
Now you know you
can, and you must.
00:27:35.12\00:27:36.92
Can you make that decision now?
00:27:36.95\00:27:39.02
Lord, take our hearts,
make them Yours, we pray,
00:27:39.05\00:27:42.66
and we thank You,
in Jesus' name. Amen.
00:27:42.69\00:27:47.00
Thanks so much for joining me.
00:27:47.03\00:27:48.46
I'm looking forward to
seeing you again next time.
00:27:48.50\00:27:50.47
Until then, remember:
00:27:50.50\00:27:52.63
"It is written, 'Man
shall not live by bread alone,
00:27:52.67\00:27:56.87
but by every word that proceeds
from the mouth of God.'"
00:27:56.91\00:28:01.11
¤[dramatic,
triumphant theme music]¤
00:28:01.14\00:28:05.15
¤[music ends]¤¤
00:28:26.84\00:28:28.84