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>>John Bradshaw:
This is "It Is Written."
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I'm John Bradshaw.
Thanks for joining me.
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You know when
Father's Day rolls around,
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we love to celebrate Dad:
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Dad who took me
fishing when I was a boy,
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Dad who came to all my games,
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Dad who was always there
with an encouraging word,
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Dad who could fix
everything and who sang songs
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and told the best jokes
and bought the best gifts,
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always knew what to say,
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Dad who helped me buy
my first car--all of that.
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It's like every dad was
the best dad in the world.
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I don't hear too
much on Father's Day
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about
celebrating the average dad:
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Dad who never took me fishing
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but did once buy
me a fishing rod,
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Dad who came to
the occasional game
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because he was
always busy working,
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Dad who was kind
of socially awkward,
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always left the gift buying to
Mum and only ever told dad jokes
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and kind of left me to
myself when I was buying a car
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and dating and all of that.
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"Happy Father's Day
to a pretty good dad."
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"Happy Father's
Day to an average dad."
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The fact is, not
all dads are great dads.
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I was fortunate.
I had a good dad.
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Can't say he was perfect
because there's no such thing.
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But take it a step
further, and the awful truth is
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that some dads
are terrible dads:
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negligent, uncaring, abusive,
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hardened criminals,
abandoned the family.
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And Father's Day
can be a bit hollow
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under those circumstances.
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You've got some folks at
the Olive Garden handing out
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a Father-of-the-Year Award
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while someone else is
crying themselves to sleep
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because their dad was lousy.
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In the Bible there's one
perfect Father, and that's God.
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He is love; He is
kind; He is patient.
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In fact, Peter wrote
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that "the longsuffering
of our Lord is salvation."
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That's how
profound God's patience is.
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The Bible says God is faithful,
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that He wants the
very best for everyone,
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that He's more willing
to give you the Holy Spirit
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than an earthly father is
willing to give good gifts
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to his children.
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He loved you so much "that
He gave His only begotten Son,"
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that by believing in Jesus you
may have eternal life freely.
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But in the Bible we find a
whole slew of lousy fathers,
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dads who were failures or who
were failures at pivotal times.
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It's interesting the
Bible doesn't whitewash
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the failings of people.
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God didn't have to tell
you about Solomon's dark side
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or about Gideon who
won that incredible battle
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with only 300 soldiers and
then led Israel into apostasy.
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I mean, why tell
you about the night
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Lot's daughters got him drunk
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or about the times Abraham,
the father of the faithful,
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lied through his teeth and
very nearly brought calamity
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upon his household?
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But God tells you things
so you can learn from them.
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As Paul wrote
to the Corinthians,
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"Now all these things happened
unto them for ensembles"--
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or examples--"and they are
written for our admonition,
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upon whom the ends
of the world are come."
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That's 1
Corinthians 10, verse 11.
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We're to learn
even from the mistakes
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of the people in the Bible.
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You learn from Samson that
lust is a harsh taskmaster.
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You learn from the
faithless spies that it's better
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to trust in God even
when things seem overwhelming.
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You learn from
Achan that covetousness
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leads only to bad places.
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That the Bible records
even the faults of men and women
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is an
indication of its veracity.
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There's no attempt to
sugarcoat or mislead or obscure
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the unfortunate
chapters of the past.
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So let's look at the example
of several bad dads in the Bible
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and find out what they teach us.
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The truth is Israel simply
should not have wanted a king.
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God was their king.
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At the time, the faithful godly
prophet Samuel was their leader.
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But Israel wanted to be
like the nations around them.
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I'll tell you it's a mistake
to want to imitate the customs
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of those around you who
are not followers of God.
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It happens in the
church all the time.
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And it happens when families
want to be like families
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around them who
aren't following God.
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When they want to
have what others have
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and act like others
act and go where others go,
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even when it's out of harmony
with the teachings of the Bible.
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It's especially
hard for young people
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in a media-soaked society.
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Everywhere they turn
there are images of people
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living outside the will of God.
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Their friends are
doing this and that.
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So young people
feel the strong pull
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to be like the
world around them.
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It was no
different back in the days
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when Samuel was
the prophet of God.
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Israel wanted a king, saying
to Samuel, "Look, you are old,
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"and your sons do
not walk in your ways.
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Now make us a king to
judge us like all the nations."
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That's 1 Samuel 8, verse 5.
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Samuel was
understandably distressed.
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This couldn't end well.
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Future history would
show it didn't end well.
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But God said to Samuel,
"Heed the voice of the people
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"in all that they say to you;
for they have not rejected you,
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but they have rejected me, that
I should not reign over them."
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Interesting, isn't
it, that there are times
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God will give you what
you want, even though He knows
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it's not in your best interests,
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and that's because God
knows it might be that realizing
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your mistake will bring
you to a place of repentance
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and to the place
where, ultimately,
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you will
surrender your will to Him.
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It wasn't long and Saul had been
anointed Israel's first king.
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The Bible describes
him in 1 Samuel 9, verse 2,
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as "choice and handsome."
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"There was not a more
handsome person than he
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"among the children of Israel.
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"From his shoulders
upward he was taller
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than any of the people."
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He was a fine young man.
He even looked like a king.
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God worked miracles to
show that Saul was His man,
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and Saul even prophesied
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under the
influence of the Holy Spirit.
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It could hardly have
looked better for Israel.
00:06:35.82\00:06:38.49
He was measured early on.
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When a group of the
people despised him,
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he kept silent,
didn't make a fuss.
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And then when he saved
the men of Jabesh-Gilead
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and absolutely
routed the Ammonites,
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he was gracious in victory.
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It looked like
Israel had their man.
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But that was far from the case.
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Saul turned out not only
to be a train wreck of a king
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but a disaster of a father.
00:07:02.98\00:07:05.59
How else can you describe a
man who tried to kill his son?
00:07:05.62\00:07:10.26
We'll look at
that in just a moment.
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¤[upbeat music]¤
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>>Announcer: Planning
for your financial future
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is a vital aspect of
Christian stewardship.
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For this reason, It Is
Written is pleased to offer
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free planned giving
and estate services.
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For information on
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please call 800-992-2219.
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Call today
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or visit our website:
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Call 800-992-2219.
00:07:47.40\00:07:51.10
¤[music ends]¤¤
00:07:51.13\00:07:52.13
>>John Bradshaw: Almost everyone
has issues with forgiveness.
00:07:53.07\00:07:55.50
It can be hard to forgive
an ex, a teacher, a boss,
00:07:55.54\00:07:58.47
or someone who has
wronged you or your family.
00:07:58.51\00:08:00.78
Forgiveness can be difficult,
but there is a way to forgive.
00:08:00.81\00:08:04.31
Jesus said if we don't forgive
others, God won't forgive us.
00:08:04.35\00:08:08.25
Get today's free
offer, "Forgiveness,"
00:08:08.28\00:08:10.42
and learn how you can forgive.
00:08:10.45\00:08:13.05
Call 800-253-3000
00:08:13.09\00:08:14.39
or visit iiwoffer.com.
00:08:14.42\00:08:18.39
"Forgiveness,"
00:08:18.43\00:08:19.16
call now: 800-253-3000.
00:08:19.19\00:08:22.50
>>John Bradshaw: Thanks for
joining me on "It Is Written."
00:08:23.73\00:08:26.10
God acquiesced to the demands
of Israel and gave them a king.
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And to begin with,
things went swimmingly.
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But it wasn't long and
it all turned to custard.
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He didn't only
develop into a lousy king,
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but Saul was also
a terrible father.
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What kind of father
attempts to murder his son?
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Things when downhill when Saul
started depending less on God
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and taking matters
into his own hands.
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Instead of waiting for Samuel
to arrive to offer sacrifice,
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Saul became impatient and
offered the sacrifice himself,
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something a king
should never have done.
00:09:02.40\00:09:06.04
Samuel had told all Israel
that their prosperity depended
00:09:06.07\00:09:09.24
on their faithfulness to God,
00:09:09.28\00:09:11.81
but Saul evidently
forgot that lesson.
00:09:11.85\00:09:14.92
Then, as his son Jonathan
was showing incredible bravery
00:09:14.95\00:09:17.85
in winning a decisive
battle against the Philistines,
00:09:17.89\00:09:20.86
Saul issued an
impulsive directive
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that any of his
soldiers who ate food
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before the enemy was
defeated would be put to death.
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Jonathan had no idea about this
rash decision because he was off
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doing the actual fighting
and eliminating Israel's foes.
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And he ate something. Saul
decreed Jonathan should die.
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His life was saved only because
Saul's soldiers intervened.
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Then when Saul was told
clearly to completely destroy
00:09:47.02\00:09:50.72
the Amalekites, he
saved the Amalekite king
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and saved the flocks and herds.
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Saul had lost his way.
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Then he became
insanely jealous of David.
00:10:00.63\00:10:03.30
He tried to kill
David many times.
00:10:03.33\00:10:05.50
Then he hunted
him like an animal,
00:10:05.53\00:10:07.40
even though he knew
David was the Lord's anointed.
00:10:07.44\00:10:10.44
On one occasion when
Jonathan interceded for David--
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David was his dearest friend--
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Saul was so enraged
that he threw a spear
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at his own son,
attempting to take his life.
00:10:20.15\00:10:24.19
Saul goes down in
the annals of history
00:10:24.22\00:10:26.39
as a catastrophic failure,
00:10:26.42\00:10:29.39
not only as a king
but also as a father.
00:10:29.42\00:10:33.83
And, of course, it
need not have been that way.
00:10:33.86\00:10:37.30
The reason Saul failed in
life was that he was ambitious
00:10:37.33\00:10:41.87
for his own glory.
00:10:41.90\00:10:44.61
He had been
humble and teachable.
00:10:44.64\00:10:47.21
As Samuel told Saul,
things went well when he was
00:10:47.24\00:10:50.51
"little in [his] own [sight]."
00:10:50.55\00:10:53.35
It's not that he made
mistakes; every father does.
00:10:53.38\00:10:56.58
Even big
mistakes can be overcome.
00:10:56.62\00:10:58.75
Children will
forgive big mistakes.
00:10:58.79\00:11:01.19
But Saul willingly
separated himself from God.
00:11:01.22\00:11:07.60
Fathers who make mistakes
are what we call...fathers.
00:11:07.66\00:11:12.80
They are human.
00:11:12.83\00:11:15.20
But the real fault is
in stepping away from God.
00:11:15.24\00:11:19.54
We learn
something from this bad dad.
00:11:19.57\00:11:22.08
It's never good to live
in disobedience towards God.
00:11:22.11\00:11:26.35
You cannot be a
successful father that way.
00:11:26.38\00:11:29.28
It's good to do well, to try
to be the best that you can be,
00:11:29.32\00:11:32.89
but doing that for your own
glory and not for God's glory
00:11:32.92\00:11:37.09
is a recipe for disaster.
00:11:37.13\00:11:39.06
¤[soft music]¤
00:11:39.09\00:11:40.03
Dad, take God with
you. Put God first.
00:11:40.06\00:11:45.40
Live in obedience to God.
00:11:45.43\00:11:47.64
Surrender your will to His.
00:11:47.67\00:11:50.47
That's where the power
is. That's where success is.
00:11:50.51\00:11:54.41
That's how you can be a
positive influence as a father.
00:11:54.44\00:11:57.91
Live in connection with your
Father, your heavenly Father.
00:11:57.95\00:12:02.22
A successful dad
depends upon God.
00:12:02.25\00:12:06.42
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00:12:06.45\00:12:07.52
There are two more bad
dads we're going to look at.
00:12:07.56\00:12:09.52
One had every opportunity
to learn from the mistakes
00:12:09.56\00:12:12.29
of those who came before him.
00:12:12.33\00:12:13.96
Another raised his
children in the church,
00:12:14.00\00:12:16.33
like, right in the church,
and they turned out rotten--
00:12:16.36\00:12:21.24
so rotten that God took
drastic action against them.
00:12:21.27\00:12:25.24
Eli was a priest in Shiloh,
which is where the sanctuary
00:12:25.27\00:12:28.04
was located before
the time of the kings.
00:12:28.08\00:12:30.51
Eli was a priest and a
judge and was instrumental
00:12:30.55\00:12:33.55
in instructing young
Samuel and guiding him to a life
00:12:33.58\00:12:36.99
of faithfulness to God.
00:12:37.02\00:12:38.82
But where it mattered most,
at home, Eli dropped the ball.
00:12:38.85\00:12:44.73
He governed the people but
failed to govern his own sons.
00:12:44.76\00:12:49.90
He raised his sons
literally in the church.
00:12:49.93\00:12:54.00
Being a priest, his sons
were always at the sanctuary.
00:12:54.04\00:12:57.14
You know, you hear sometimes
about PKs, pastors' kids,
00:12:57.17\00:13:00.51
and about how sometimes
they don't turn out well.
00:13:00.54\00:13:02.88
Well, even
though that does happen,
00:13:02.91\00:13:04.45
it's not the fault of the
church, and, should I say,
00:13:04.48\00:13:07.08
even though that
happens sometimes,
00:13:07.12\00:13:09.92
plenty of PKs turn out great.
00:13:09.95\00:13:12.95
Those that don't, don't because
that's the path they've chosen,
00:13:12.99\00:13:17.89
and it may be, as in
the example of Eli's sons,
00:13:17.93\00:13:21.80
maybe because their
father did an awful job.
00:13:21.83\00:13:25.33
Now, no one has
to be a super father.
00:13:25.37\00:13:28.10
There are some of those,
00:13:28.14\00:13:29.30
but that's out of
the reach of many men.
00:13:29.34\00:13:31.94
They don't have enough money
to be always taking the kids
00:13:31.97\00:13:34.11
on fantastic vacations,
00:13:34.14\00:13:35.88
don't have the time
to be hunting and fishing
00:13:35.91\00:13:37.71
and going on great
adventures together,
00:13:37.75\00:13:39.68
might not have the IQ or the
creativity or the opportunity
00:13:39.71\00:13:42.72
to do all the great
stuff, the great dad stuff
00:13:42.75\00:13:46.09
that other dads do.
00:13:46.12\00:13:47.79
Well, I'll tell
ya: That's unimportant.
00:13:47.82\00:13:51.59
You can't do what you can't do,
00:13:51.63\00:13:54.10
and you can't be
what you can't be.
00:13:54.13\00:13:56.80
But you can follow the
law, and you can be faithful.
00:13:56.83\00:14:02.97
God's blessing
on a parent's role
00:14:03.00\00:14:05.27
is what is
absolutely imperative.
00:14:05.31\00:14:08.24
If God wanted you to
be just like someone else,
00:14:08.28\00:14:11.28
He'd have made you
just like someone else.
00:14:11.31\00:14:13.82
You can be you and a great dad.
00:14:13.85\00:14:18.85
With Eli, it wasn't a lack
of opportunity or talent or wit
00:14:20.19\00:14:25.23
or anything of that nature.
00:14:25.26\00:14:27.30
It was a lack of
backbone to control his kids.
00:14:27.36\00:14:30.97
I'll give you an example.
00:14:31.00\00:14:32.40
I sat on a plane
once for seven hours
00:14:32.43\00:14:34.74
and endured the
misfortune of sitting in front
00:14:34.77\00:14:36.71
of a couple of
rambunctious young children.
00:14:36.74\00:14:39.14
It seemed like
they were about 2 and 4.
00:14:39.17\00:14:41.21
These kids weren't just rowdy;
00:14:41.24\00:14:43.31
they kicked the seats
and pounded the seats.
00:14:43.35\00:14:46.68
I'm talking about my seat.
00:14:46.72\00:14:48.72
And they put the tray table down
and pounded on the tray table,
00:14:48.75\00:14:54.09
and they wouldn't stop.
00:14:54.12\00:14:55.56
And dad, with
them, just sat there.
00:14:55.59\00:15:00.23
There was the occasional
"shh," but that was it.
00:15:00.26\00:15:03.93
He just watched them,
basically just cheered them on.
00:15:03.97\00:15:09.07
Now, I didn't say anything.
00:15:09.10\00:15:10.44
It's tough having a couple
of little kids on a plane,
00:15:10.47\00:15:12.54
and I realize they were most
likely just tired and hungry.
00:15:12.57\00:15:16.24
But all of a
sudden, the kids were quiet.
00:15:16.28\00:15:19.61
I turned slightly to try
to see what had happened.
00:15:19.65\00:15:23.28
What had happened
was dad had disappeared,
00:15:23.32\00:15:26.96
and now mom was
sitting with the kids.
00:15:26.99\00:15:30.13
She leaned in, showed
interest in them, engaged them,
00:15:30.16\00:15:34.40
and they were happy.
00:15:34.46\00:15:36.30
And about 20 other people,
including me, were happy.
00:15:36.33\00:15:41.20
Mom took control.
00:15:41.24\00:15:44.51
That's what you do.
00:15:44.54\00:15:45.71
The kids don't call
the shots--they're kids.
00:15:45.74\00:15:49.11
Now, mom wasn't
overbearing, she wasn't loud,
00:15:49.14\00:15:51.01
she wasn't demanding,
there were no threats,
00:15:51.05\00:15:53.88
she was present, and she
clearly helped the kids to see
00:15:53.92\00:15:57.29
that there were boundaries
that they shouldn't cross.
00:15:57.32\00:15:59.72
Eli allowed his
children to control him.
00:16:01.49\00:16:05.36
He hadn't impressed upon them
00:16:05.39\00:16:06.53
the importance of
reverence for God.
00:16:06.56\00:16:08.63
They corrupted the sanctuary
service, doing awful things.
00:16:08.66\00:16:12.30
Hophni and
Phinehas had been brought up
00:16:12.33\00:16:13.90
to think of no
one but themselves.
00:16:13.94\00:16:17.14
The Bible says,
00:16:17.17\00:16:18.57
"The sin of the young men
was very great before the Lord:
00:16:18.61\00:16:22.81
for men abhorred the
offering of the Lord."
00:16:22.84\00:16:25.91
First Samuel 2, verse 17.
00:16:25.95\00:16:28.52
One poorly governed
family, one permissive father
00:16:28.55\00:16:33.76
brought so much
distress to that whole society.
00:16:33.79\00:16:38.43
The same chapter tells us
that when "Eli was very old,"
00:16:38.46\00:16:42.23
he remonstrated with the boys,
00:16:42.26\00:16:44.00
who by now were
immoral and corrupt.
00:16:44.03\00:16:47.44
But the Bible says,
00:16:47.47\00:16:48.87
"Nevertheless they did not
heed the voice of their father."
00:16:48.90\00:16:53.74
God's message to Eli was,
00:16:53.78\00:16:55.61
"You...honor your
sons more than me."
00:16:55.64\00:17:00.08
This is where those
famous words were uttered:
00:17:00.12\00:17:02.42
"Them that
honour me I will honour,
00:17:02.45\00:17:05.02
and they that despise me
shall be lightly esteemed."
00:17:05.05\00:17:08.69
First Samuel 2, verse 30.
00:17:08.72\00:17:11.19
What you had was a father
who made a high profession.
00:17:11.23\00:17:14.13
He was a priest and a judge.
00:17:14.20\00:17:16.36
It's not simply
that his kids were bad.
00:17:16.40\00:17:18.93
The best parent can
sometimes have children
00:17:18.97\00:17:21.17
that just don't turn out
well for a plethora of reasons.
00:17:21.20\00:17:24.47
Children have freedom of choice.
00:17:24.51\00:17:26.51
When they exercise it
badly, that's on them.
00:17:26.54\00:17:30.31
But this was different.
00:17:30.35\00:17:31.88
This bad dad, Eli, teaches
us that indulgent parenting
00:17:31.91\00:17:35.58
doesn't end well.
00:17:35.62\00:17:37.15
Hophni and
Phinehas died in a battle
00:17:37.19\00:17:39.45
in which the Philistines
took the Ark of the Covenant.
00:17:39.49\00:17:42.16
One of them left a pregnant
wife, whose son, Ichabod,
00:17:42.19\00:17:45.23
would never know his dad.
00:17:45.26\00:17:47.83
Eli just needed to
guide his children.
00:17:47.86\00:17:51.40
Anyone can do that.
00:17:51.43\00:17:53.50
He wouldn't, and the
consequences were dire.
00:17:53.54\00:17:58.57
And there's one more bad
dad I want to look at with you.
00:17:58.61\00:18:01.01
We can learn from these men,
whether we're fathers, mothers,
00:18:01.04\00:18:04.21
or none of the above.
00:18:04.25\00:18:06.31
What can we
learn from the bad dad
00:18:06.35\00:18:09.58
who really should
have known better?
00:18:09.62\00:18:12.79
We'll find out in just a moment.
00:18:12.82\00:18:15.66
¤[music swells and ends]¤¤
00:18:15.69\00:18:22.66
>>John: Thank you for
remembering that It Is Written
00:18:25.03\00:18:27.00
exists because of the kindness
of people just like you.
00:18:27.04\00:18:30.44
To support this international
life-changing ministry,
00:18:30.47\00:18:33.68
please call us
now at 800-253-3000.
00:18:33.71\00:18:37.95
You can send your
tax-deductible gift
00:18:37.98\00:18:39.41
to the address on your screen,
00:18:39.45\00:18:40.88
or you can visit us
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00:18:40.92\00:18:44.72
Thank you for your prayers
and for your financial support.
00:18:44.75\00:18:47.56
Our number
again is 800-253-3000,
00:18:47.59\00:18:51.73
or you can visit us
online at itiswritten.com.
00:18:51.76\00:18:54.73
¤[piano music]¤
00:18:55.16\00:18:56.23
>>John: Throughout the
Bible, mothers have played
00:18:56.26\00:18:58.40
an important role in
advancing the kingdom of God:
00:18:58.43\00:19:02.10
Eve, Sarah, Rebekah, Jochebed,
00:19:02.14\00:19:06.41
Naomi, Elizabeth, Mary.
00:19:06.44\00:19:10.58
But no mother has
had a greater impact
00:19:10.61\00:19:12.91
on the growth of God's kingdom
00:19:12.95\00:19:15.15
than a mother found in
the heart of Revelation.
00:19:15.18\00:19:19.29
Don't miss "A Mother at War"
00:19:19.32\00:19:22.39
as we trace history
from the war in heaven
00:19:22.42\00:19:25.39
all the way down
to earth's last days.
00:19:25.43\00:19:28.26
You'll encounter a great
red dragon with seven heads
00:19:28.30\00:19:31.57
and 10 horns, a
pregnant woman who has to fight
00:19:31.60\00:19:35.54
to save the life of her newborn.
00:19:35.57\00:19:37.94
You'll be witness to
the battle of the ages
00:19:37.97\00:19:40.68
and see the ultimate victory
of Christ and His church.
00:19:40.71\00:19:45.61
"A Mother at War,"
00:19:45.65\00:19:47.02
brought to you
by It Is Written TV.
00:19:48.02\00:19:52.82
¤[music ends]¤¤
00:19:52.85\00:19:54.19
>>John Bradshaw: You'd think
that with such a glaring example
00:19:56.16\00:19:58.33
of a bad dad
right in his own midst,
00:19:58.36\00:20:00.93
David would have
figured things out.
00:20:00.96\00:20:03.43
Now again, you have kids
that don't turn out well;
00:20:03.47\00:20:06.50
sometimes that's not on you.
00:20:06.53\00:20:08.67
And let's acknowledge
this: Even when it is on you,
00:20:08.70\00:20:12.77
it's not too late to
do something about it.
00:20:12.81\00:20:16.38
So many people wish
they'd done things differently
00:20:16.41\00:20:18.28
when they were younger.
00:20:18.31\00:20:19.08
Well, parenting
can be difficult.
00:20:19.11\00:20:21.45
Children are
complicated animals.
00:20:21.48\00:20:23.85
You can do everything right,
00:20:23.89\00:20:25.65
and still it doesn't quite
go like you wish it would have.
00:20:25.69\00:20:29.19
Don't condemn
yourself. Don't berate yourself.
00:20:29.22\00:20:32.16
Call out to God and
ask God to intervene.
00:20:32.19\00:20:35.93
Love your children now,
00:20:35.96\00:20:37.63
even if they're adults
with children of their own.
00:20:37.67\00:20:40.54
Let them see God
work in your life.
00:20:40.57\00:20:43.47
And pray for them.
00:20:43.51\00:20:44.57
Pray that God will give
them a revelation of Himself.
00:20:44.61\00:20:47.54
Many people turn around
and come to faith in God
00:20:47.58\00:20:49.88
later in life.
00:20:49.91\00:20:51.65
Don't ever think it's over.
00:20:51.68\00:20:54.15
I know of one dear woman
whose son walked out on God
00:20:54.18\00:20:57.02
the day he left high school.
00:20:57.05\00:20:58.99
She didn't stop praying for
him, and she saw him come back
00:20:59.02\00:21:02.49
to faith in Jesus
when she was 99 years old.
00:21:02.52\00:21:07.40
Don't give up.
00:21:07.40\00:21:10.47
So what was it with David?
00:21:12.03\00:21:13.67
He'd been called "a
man after God's own heart."
00:21:13.70\00:21:16.24
Like Saul, he was
hand-selected by God.
00:21:16.27\00:21:19.64
The thing with David was this:
00:21:19.67\00:21:22.24
When he made
mistakes, he repented.
00:21:22.28\00:21:25.81
He turned back to God.
00:21:25.85\00:21:27.92
He never got so discouraged
00:21:27.95\00:21:29.75
that he refused to
turn to God in faith.
00:21:29.78\00:21:32.99
His prayer, as found
in the 51st psalm, was,
00:21:33.02\00:21:35.76
"Purge me with
hyssop, and I shall be clean:
00:21:35.79\00:21:38.99
"wash me, and I shall
be whiter than snow....
00:21:39.03\00:21:42.50
"Create in me a
clean heart, O God;
00:21:42.53\00:21:46.13
and renew a right
spirit within me."
00:21:46.17\00:21:50.24
So why am I including
David in a list of bad dads?
00:21:50.27\00:21:54.14
Simple.
00:21:54.18\00:21:55.64
Good dads don't
take another man's wife.
00:21:55.68\00:21:59.81
By the time
David took Bathsheba,
00:21:59.85\00:22:01.48
he already had a
coterie of wives.
00:22:01.52\00:22:03.32
There was
Michal-- Saul's daughter--
00:22:03.35\00:22:05.02
Ahinoam, Abigail, Maacah,
Haggith, Abital, and Eglah.
00:22:05.05\00:22:10.43
But one night David
walked upon the roof of his home
00:22:10.46\00:22:13.43
and noticed a
beautiful woman bathing.
00:22:13.46\00:22:16.33
It may well have been
that he noticed her innocently.
00:22:16.36\00:22:18.53
We're not told. But what
happened next was not innocent.
00:22:18.57\00:22:23.71
Now, it's one thing
for David to be influenced
00:22:23.74\00:22:25.64
by the prevailing
customs of the day.
00:22:25.67\00:22:27.41
Oh, I'm not
excusing his actions,
00:22:27.44\00:22:29.04
but polygamy had
become a thing by then,
00:22:29.08\00:22:30.78
and maybe David was just
caught up in all of that.
00:22:30.81\00:22:34.15
Maybe that's why he
had more than one wife.
00:22:34.18\00:22:36.42
Not right, not acceptable,
00:22:36.45\00:22:39.35
but maybe that's
part of why he did it.
00:22:39.39\00:22:41.79
But cultural norms
did not influence him
00:22:41.82\00:22:44.49
to send messengers to
bring Bathsheba to him
00:22:44.53\00:22:47.00
after finding out
that she was, and I quote,
00:22:47.03\00:22:49.53
"the wife of Uriah the Hittite."
00:22:49.56\00:22:52.37
What happened
next was inexcusable
00:22:52.40\00:22:55.40
and led to the death of a
marriage, the death of a man,
00:22:55.44\00:22:58.31
and the death of
an innocent child.
00:22:58.34\00:23:01.78
Good dads don't
jeopardize their family.
00:23:01.81\00:23:04.95
They don't take
what isn't theirs,
00:23:04.98\00:23:06.45
especially on this scale.
00:23:06.48\00:23:08.55
David's immorality
brought reproach and hardship
00:23:08.58\00:23:12.19
on the entire kingdom of Israel.
00:23:12.22\00:23:14.99
But it doesn't end there.
00:23:15.99\00:23:17.73
When Amnon forced his
sister Tamar, David didn't act.
00:23:17.76\00:23:22.60
The Bible says "David
heard of all these things,
00:23:22.63\00:23:25.27
[and] was very angry."
00:23:25.30\00:23:27.60
But he didn't intervene.
00:23:27.64\00:23:30.04
Absalom, a brother
of both Tamar and Amnon,
00:23:30.07\00:23:32.94
was so furious
that he bided his time
00:23:32.97\00:23:36.34
and then killed his brother.
00:23:36.38\00:23:38.61
It's hard to imagine
that would have happened
00:23:38.65\00:23:40.08
if David had
simply assumed his role
00:23:40.12\00:23:42.35
as the leader of the family.
00:23:42.38\00:23:44.32
And when Absalom fled--
three years he was gone--
00:23:44.35\00:23:48.16
David didn't go to see him.
00:23:48.19\00:23:50.39
The rift between the king
and his son widened so far
00:23:50.43\00:23:53.16
that it culminated
in full-blown rebellion
00:23:53.19\00:23:55.80
on the part of Absalom.
00:23:55.83\00:23:57.70
David, the great king,
saw his kingdom rent in two,
00:23:57.73\00:24:02.54
and it could have been avoided.
00:24:02.57\00:24:04.24
¤[soft somber music]¤
00:24:04.27\00:24:05.17
We know how it ended:
00:24:05.21\00:24:06.81
Absalom died in battle.
00:24:06.84\00:24:09.71
David's heart was broken.
00:24:09.74\00:24:12.85
Regret may have had a lot to do
with the anguish that he felt.
00:24:12.88\00:24:16.82
No, we're not asking
that David be perfect,
00:24:16.85\00:24:19.42
but this wasn't a man
who promised ice cream
00:24:19.45\00:24:21.42
and then didn't follow through.
00:24:21.46\00:24:22.99
This was a man who simply
didn't take responsibility
00:24:23.02\00:24:25.69
when he needed to.
00:24:25.73\00:24:27.13
He could have stepped in
after Amnon's disgraceful act.
00:24:27.13\00:24:30.53
He could have
talked with Absalom.
00:24:30.57\00:24:32.57
He could have loved the man.
00:24:32.60\00:24:34.77
But he failed to
act when he should have.
00:24:34.80\00:24:37.44
That's bad dad stuff.
00:24:37.47\00:24:39.77
¤[music ends]¤¤
00:24:39.81\00:24:41.41
But we can learn from that.
00:24:41.44\00:24:43.14
We can learn from Saul's
failings to submit to God,
00:24:43.18\00:24:45.75
obey God, and bring
faith in God into parenting.
00:24:45.78\00:24:49.85
We can learn from Eli
that being indulgent might be
00:24:49.88\00:24:52.72
the path of least resistance,
but it's not good parenting.
00:24:52.75\00:24:56.12
Discipline is discipling.
00:24:56.16\00:24:59.59
Eli had a
responsibility to show his sons
00:24:59.63\00:25:02.06
their responsibility before God.
00:25:02.10\00:25:04.80
But he let his
children run amok,
00:25:04.83\00:25:07.24
and he didn't restrain them.
00:25:07.27\00:25:09.40
And we learn from
David that for a parent
00:25:09.44\00:25:11.24
to have a good relationship
with their children,
00:25:11.27\00:25:13.41
there has to be communication.
00:25:13.44\00:25:15.34
Ya have to address situations.
00:25:15.38\00:25:17.35
And you have to
live a moral life.
00:25:17.38\00:25:19.45
Lust and immorality are ruinous.
00:25:19.48\00:25:22.62
Don't go there. Just don't.
00:25:22.65\00:25:25.85
And remember, there is
power in the Holy Spirit
00:25:25.89\00:25:29.09
to keep you moral if
you'll surrender to God
00:25:29.12\00:25:33.13
and accept that power.
00:25:33.16\00:25:36.00
Bad dads, we
can learn from them.
00:25:36.03\00:25:39.23
If you see something
in your father's example
00:25:39.27\00:25:41.57
that falls short--and
no doubt you probably do--
00:25:41.60\00:25:45.21
then learn from that.
00:25:45.24\00:25:46.88
Let it grow you.
Don't repeat those mistakes.
00:25:46.91\00:25:50.48
Let the failings of your
parents or your own missteps
00:25:50.51\00:25:54.88
urge you toward being a
better parent, a better spouse,
00:25:54.92\00:25:59.05
a better citizen,
and, most importantly,
00:25:59.09\00:26:02.39
a fully committed
believer in Jesus.
00:26:02.42\00:26:05.83
¤[music ends]¤¤
00:26:05.86\00:26:06.86
>>John: Almost everyone
has issues with forgiveness.
00:26:07.86\00:26:10.53
It can be hard to forgive
an ex, a teacher, a boss,
00:26:10.57\00:26:13.34
or someone who has
wronged you or your family.
00:26:13.37\00:26:16.00
Forgiveness can be difficult,
but there is a way to forgive.
00:26:16.04\00:26:19.17
Jesus said if we don't forgive
others, God won't forgive us.
00:26:19.21\00:26:23.11
Get today's free
offer, "Forgiveness,"
00:26:23.14\00:26:25.28
and learn how you can forgive.
00:26:25.31\00:26:27.92
Call 800-253-3000
00:26:27.95\00:26:30.49
or visit iiwoffer.com.
00:26:30.52\00:26:33.02
"Forgiveness,"
00:26:33.05\00:26:33.99
call now: 800-253-3000.
00:26:34.02\00:26:37.36
Let me pray with you now.
00:26:38.69\00:26:40.46
Our Father in heaven,
00:26:40.50\00:26:41.66
in Jesus' name we thank You
that You are a perfect Father,
00:26:41.70\00:26:45.60
a loving Father, a patient
Father, a truly good Father.
00:26:45.63\00:26:49.57
¤[soft music]¤
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We thank You for
our earthly fathers.
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And even if they're not perfect,
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we thank You for
their many good attributes,
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for the blessings that
they have bestowed upon us,
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and the blessing
they've been to us.
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Give us grace to learn from our
parents, even the faulty ones,
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that those mistakes
don't have to be repeated,
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and those
generational dysfunctions
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don't have to be perpetuated.
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And I pray that we
would mostly learn from You,
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that as we read the
Bible and see Your goodness
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and Your love, we
would want to be like You.
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And I pray You would be
especially close to every dad
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and allow every dad who
wishes to do so to reflect Jesus
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to those around us, in
particular, his children.
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We thank You, we love You,
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we ask Your blessing,
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and we pray in Jesus' name.
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Amen.
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Thank you so
much for joining me.
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I look forward to
seeing you again next time.
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Until then, remember:
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"It is written, 'Man
shall not live by bread alone,
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but by every word that proceeds
from the mouth of God.'"
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¤[dramatic theme music]¤
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¤[music ends]¤¤
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