>>John Bradshaw:
This is It Is Written.
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I'm John Bradshaw.
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Thanks for joining me.
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Father's Day rolls
around once every year.
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It's a time when we
celebrate our dads--
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or our grandfathers,
too, for that matter.
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And it's an opportunity
to reflect on the blessing
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that fathers can be
and are in our lives.
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It's also an opportunity
for fathers to reflect upon
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their role as fathers and what
sort of father they are being
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as God's man here on this earth.
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I have several
guests with me today,
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including my associate
speaker at It Is Written,
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Pastor Eric Flickinger;
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Pastor Yves
Monnier from It Is Written;
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and Dr. Ron Smith, who has a
doctor of ministry in counseling
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and a PhD in psychology.
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Gentlemen, thanks very
much for joining me today.
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Dr. Smith, we're
going to start with you.
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Take a moment to talk
about the special role
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that is the role of a father.
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What is it that
fathers bring to a family
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or to a relationship to the
life of a child that's unique?
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>>Ron Smith: I think
it's important to note
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from the outset that there
is a female as well as a male
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dimension of who
God is compositely.
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But fathers have the opportunity
to showcase before our children
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in a very real way the image
of God from the masculine side.
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And that side is pregnant
with so many implications
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of positive thinking,
assuming responsibility.
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>>John: Now, when you stop and
when you put it in those terms,
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that a father
demonstrates to the child
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the characteristics of God,
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that places pretty
heavy responsibility on dads,
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doesn't it?
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>>Dr. Smith:
Absolutely. And on parents.
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But in this particular
case, on fathers, absolutely.
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>>John: Now, when we
speak about fatherhood,
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I think it's key to
realize that as we speak
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about the role of a father,
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the role of a father
and the role of a mother
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overlaps an awful lot.
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It's not always easy to draw
a clean line between the two.
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But let's begin, we've got to
do our best to speak to fathers
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and fatherhood today.
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Let me ask this question:
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What does it take
to be a good father?
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Who wants to have
a run at that first?
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I should point out that
I'm the father of two children.
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Eric, you're the
father of two children.
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Yves, you're the
father of two children.
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Dr. Smith, you don't
break the mold at all.
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>>Dr. Smith: I'm the
father of two children.
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>>John: Two children. All
right. So eight kids between us.
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I'm sure we have our
share of successes, and,
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I'm positive,
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more than our
fair share of failures.
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What does it
take to be a good dad?
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Who wants to take a run at that?
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>>Eric: One of the things that
you absolutely have to have is,
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if you want to be a good father,
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is time to spend
with your children.
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You know, good
relationships are built on time,
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whether it's between us and
our children or us and our God.
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Just like Dr. Smith
mentioned a moment ago,
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they get a pretty good
idea who God is from us.
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And if we don't
spend time with them,
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they're going to
get an idea that maybe
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God doesn't want to
spend time with them either.
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>>John: All right. You're
a pastor and an evangelist.
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You're a pastor and a
departmental director.
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I'm a pastor and an evangelist
and I lead a ministry.
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Dr. Smith, you're a
church administrator
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with enormous responsibilities,
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but you're a pastor and
an evangelist and a writer
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and, and, and, and, and...
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So you're talking about
spending time with children.
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It is every parent's
battle, or many parents' battle.
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How in the world do you
find enough time for your kids,
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especially when
you're a very busy person?
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And then let's talk about this,
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this thing about
quality time and quantity time.
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First, how do you find the time?
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>>Yves: Well, John,
what I've discovered
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is that uh, quality
time comes with quantity.
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There's no way on earth that you
can get to the point of quality
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with your children if you have
not invested that quantity time.
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You asked the question,
how do you take that time?
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Well, you make a choice.
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I had a wise
elder who came to me.
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My children were young.
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He put his arm
around me, and he said,
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“Listen to me very carefully.
One day when you're old,
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if the Lord
doesn't return before then,
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one day when you're old,
you're not going to wish,
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oh, if only I had gone
to one more board meeting.
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If only I had gone to one
more school board meeting.
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If only I had
done one more visit.”
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He said,
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“Those will not be the
if-onlys in your life.”
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That opened my
eyes, and I determined,
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this is my priority, my family.
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>>John: So you've, you've
just got to make that time.
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What happens when
you don't make that time?
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Have you seen anything?
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Dr. Smith, you've,
you've, as a mentor to many,
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as a church leader, you've
seen undoubtedly what happens
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when fathers don't take
enough time for their kids.
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So there's a dad now,
he's listening to us talk,
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he's watching us, and
he's thinking, mmm, time.
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But he's saying to himself,
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man I'm busy, and
I've got this great career,
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and that sucks
up a lot of my time.
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What will he learn one day
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because he didn't take
enough time for his kids?
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>>Dr. Smith: I think when
we understand the importance
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of building our
children into our routine,
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whatever that is, whether
it's a heavy responsibility
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or a lighter responsibility,
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it could be very lonely
to have a parental obligation
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and responsibility, and our
children aren't engaged with us,
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and we aren't engaged with them.
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By joining each other,
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the journey can be a
fun one and a sweet one.
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>>John: As a father, what have
you learned from your father?
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Might be all good, might be all
bad, might be a little of each.
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What lessons did you
learn from your dad? Yves?
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>>Yves: Well, two
things I learned from my dad.
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Number one, my dad
never had any worries.
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At least that's what I believed.
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Because the moment he would walk
inside the threshold of the home
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he was with us
and he focused on us,
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and never thought
that he had any concerns,
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any burdens in his life.
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Now, later on, of course,
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as I became older
and became a pastor,
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I realized, oh, my
dad had a lot of worries.
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But he never let on.
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And that was, that was
very gracious on his part.
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Number two, my dad traveled
a lot, and I missed him.
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And so I determined, you know,
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I'm not going to do
this with my children.
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He, uh, he had a calling,
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and I respected that calling
and respect that calling.
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But uh, I determined
that I'm not going to be
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so often an absentee father.
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So that's why I made
a, a, a conscious decision
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for the time that my
children are at home,
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living under the same roof,
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this will be the time
that I will give to them.
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>>John: I look at my dad's life.
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My dad was an
uncomplicated sort of a man,
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uh, from an
uncomplicated background.
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And I, I doubt that I could say
my father was the perfect father
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or the perfect person.
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But I learned a lot of
what I learned about parenting
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from my dad,
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reflecting on my dad's
role as a father in our family.
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And you know what I found?
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Some of the most helpful things
I've learned from my father
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I've learned from
the mistakes he made.
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I don't mean
cataclysmic mistakes.
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I mean maybe some of
those smaller mistakes.
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Rather than be embittered by the
things my dad didn't get right,
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I've simply taken
those on board and said,
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okay, I see what didn't work.
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And I'm determining to,
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you know, not
to perpetuate that,
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whatever that might have been.
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I don't mean there's
anything really dark.
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But I believe
that you can learn,
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if your eyes are open, you can
learn a lot from the mistakes
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of the people that
you've, that you've seen
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and that you've
observed up close.
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Um, what I did learn from my
father was religious commitment,
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commitment to God.
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Now, my dad was of a
faith that I am now not.
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Uh, nevertheless, his life was
a picture of devotion to God,
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and he modeled for me how
important it is to be faithful
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to God and have God at
the very center of your life.
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Dr. Smith, what'd you
learn from your father?
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>>Dr. Smith: First and foremost,
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he advised me to factor God in.
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He says, “If you
really want to be cool--
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I sense you want
to be cool, son--
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factor God into your life.”
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Then he cited, “In all
thy ways acknowledge Him,
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and He [will]
direct [your] path.”
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Secondly, he said, you know,
“Practice being accountable.
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Work hard. Work hard.”
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And, “Go to the
ant, thou sluggard,”
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the proverbial
statement-- >>John: Sure.
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>>Dr. Smith: ...“consider
her ways and be wise.”
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And the third one that
sticks with me, he says,
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“Dream big. There's nothing
you can, that you can't do.”
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Um, without a
vision, “the people perish,”
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that third proverbial statement.
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So, in that three-prong approach
to life, he sustained me.
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And some of our moments in Coney
Island in Brooklyn, New York,
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eating ice cream, he
would share that, that,
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those principles with me.
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>>John: One of the things I've,
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I've been careful to
instill in my children,
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and they have yet to
make their mark in the world,
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so we're going to
see how well this sticks:
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Think big. You can be
whatever you want to be.
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I've made it
very clear to my kids,
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if you choose to fail,
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then you'll probably
be pretty good at that.
00:09:17.35\00:09:19.45
But if you reach for the stars,
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if you, if you
throw yourself into life
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and you purpose to get, to do
the very best that you can be--
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and I don't mean
because I aspire for my children
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to live in a mansion
and drive a Rolls Royce.
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The better my kids do,
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the better they excel
in their chosen field,
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the more use
they're going to be to God,
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because they've got
more talent and gifts to, uh,
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to put into serving God
in whatever field that is.
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But I've found--and
it's so far been a help--
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believe in your kids.
Tell them you believe they can.
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There is no limit
to what you can do.
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Think big. Work hard. Strive.
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Uh, if they take hold of
just a little bit of how,
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how well I've told them
they can do in this life,
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they'll end up
doing pretty well.
00:10:00.40\00:10:02.10
Eric, we'll get to
you in just a moment.
00:10:02.13\00:10:03.37
Fatherhood, from a
biblical perspective.
00:10:03.40\00:10:05.67
We'll open up the
Bible in a moment and look
00:10:05.70\00:10:07.07
at a couple of Bible passages,
and fathers from the Bible.
00:10:07.10\00:10:11.51
We'll be right back.
00:10:11.54\00:10:13.04
¤[Music]¤
00:10:13.07\00:10:18.38
>>John: Some of the most famous
words ever written tell us that
00:10:20.62\00:10:24.12
“God so loved the world.”
00:10:24.15\00:10:27.16
The same book in which those
words are written tell us that
00:10:27.19\00:10:29.36
“God is love.”
00:10:29.39\00:10:31.43
Go deep into the love of
God with today's free offer,
00:10:31.46\00:10:36.40
“A Father's Love.”
00:10:36.43\00:10:37.80
To receive “A Father's Love,”
00:10:37.83\00:10:39.40
call us on 800-253-3000
00:10:39.43\00:10:42.54
or visit us online
at itiswritten.com.
00:10:42.57\00:10:45.71
You can write to the address
on your screen and receive free
00:10:45.74\00:10:49.14
“A Father's Love.”
00:10:49.18\00:10:50.51
¤[Music]¤
00:10:51.61\00:10:58.02
>>John: Thanks for joining
me today on It Is Written.
00:10:58.05\00:10:59.82
I'm John Bradshaw.
00:10:59.85\00:11:00.96
With me, Pastor Yves
Monnier from It Is Written,
00:11:00.99\00:11:03.39
Dr. Ron Smith, and
Pastor Eric Flickinger,
00:11:03.43\00:11:06.70
my associate
speaker at It Is Written.
00:11:06.73\00:11:08.56
We're talking about fatherhood.
00:11:08.60\00:11:10.73
It's that
Father's Day time of year.
00:11:10.77\00:11:12.33
What does it
mean to be a father,
00:11:12.37\00:11:13.60
and how can a dad
be a successful dad?
00:11:13.64\00:11:16.67
So Dr. Smith, let me ask
you about the importance of,
00:11:16.71\00:11:19.14
of a father
bonding with his kids.
00:11:19.17\00:11:21.11
How important is that?
00:11:21.14\00:11:23.04
>>Dr. Smith:
It's very important.
00:11:23.08\00:11:24.25
And through our
bonding I learned that my dad
00:11:24.28\00:11:27.12
was very much about
relationship, relationships.
00:11:27.15\00:11:31.35
I grew up with two
siblings, two sisters,
00:11:31.39\00:11:34.36
and he emphasized the importance
of caring for my sisters,
00:11:34.39\00:11:37.43
but more importantly,
00:11:37.46\00:11:39.03
uh, doing to others
what I want done to me.
00:11:39.06\00:11:42.26
>>John: So I want
to ask this question:
00:11:42.30\00:11:43.50
how do you bond
with your children?
00:11:43.53\00:11:46.13
How do you form that strong
relationship with your kids?
00:11:46.17\00:11:49.67
Yves?
00:11:49.70\00:11:51.01
>>Yves: Well, I
have a 26-year-old son
00:11:51.04\00:11:53.38
who's very busy in his career,
00:11:53.41\00:11:55.74
but we find time very often to
talk to each other on the phone.
00:11:55.78\00:11:59.71
And on a recent
phone call, I said,
00:11:59.75\00:12:02.12
“Daniel, so, why are we pretty
close? because I think we are.”
00:12:02.15\00:12:07.36
And he said, “Dad,
00:12:07.39\00:12:09.29
it's because you
spent a lot of time with me.
00:12:09.32\00:12:13.13
You went to all of
my club activities.
00:12:13.16\00:12:16.53
When we had
trips, you were there.
00:12:16.56\00:12:18.87
Uh, when I had
a basketball game,
00:12:18.90\00:12:21.67
a football game,
you were present.
00:12:21.70\00:12:24.21
You made sure that that
time with me was a priority.
00:12:24.24\00:12:28.24
And, Dad, those times with
me have made a huge difference.”
00:12:28.28\00:12:32.81
And, uh, and he said,
00:12:32.85\00:12:34.72
“That's why we are as
close as we are to this day.”
00:12:34.75\00:12:38.05
>>John: It seems like it keeps
coming back to this question
00:12:38.09\00:12:39.95
of time with the kids.
00:12:39.99\00:12:40.92
Here's what I've
found as, as a way.
00:12:40.96\00:12:43.36
How do I bond with my kids?
00:12:43.39\00:12:45.09
However I have
to, however I can.
00:12:45.13\00:12:47.76
I remember when my son decided
he wanted to learn to fish
00:12:47.76\00:12:50.07
or be a fisherman.
00:12:50.10\00:12:51.53
I don't know where he got that.
00:12:51.57\00:12:53.13
Now, look, I don't want
to upset the fisherfolk,
00:12:53.17\00:12:55.17
but, man, I hate fishing.
00:12:55.20\00:12:57.04
What a perfectly good way
to ruin an otherwise great day,
00:12:57.07\00:13:00.31
sitting around,
waiting for a fish to bite.
00:13:00.34\00:13:03.88
Color me odd, but I just,
I don't get it. I never have.
00:13:03.91\00:13:07.45
Now, if you fish, I
respect you, and that's okay.
00:13:07.48\00:13:09.95
But it's just
never been my thing.
00:13:09.98\00:13:11.55
My son says,
“Dad, I want to fish.
00:13:11.59\00:13:14.66
I want to go fishing.”
00:13:14.69\00:13:15.69
You know what?
Suddenly I was a fisherman.
00:13:15.72\00:13:18.56
We were getting the
right kind of fishing poles
00:13:18.59\00:13:20.33
and the right
gear, and all the lures.
00:13:20.36\00:13:21.86
And I bought my
son a tackle box,
00:13:21.90\00:13:23.70
and we filled it
with the right stuff.
00:13:23.73\00:13:25.20
And we went fishing.
We even caught some fish.
00:13:25.23\00:13:29.00
But it's in moments like,
00:13:29.04\00:13:29.94
if he, if he
wanted to ride a unicycle,
00:13:29.97\00:13:32.71
I would have been right there
riding a unicycle with him.
00:13:32.74\00:13:35.04
Uh, for me it was about
doing whatever was there to do,
00:13:35.08\00:13:38.61
whatever you needed to do.
00:13:38.65\00:13:40.52
And, going back to
what you said, Dr. Smith,
00:13:40.55\00:13:42.35
including my son in my life.
00:13:42.38\00:13:43.85
He would go with me.
We'd travel together.
00:13:43.89\00:13:45.99
He'd be present
for this and for that.
00:13:46.02\00:13:47.92
I would be
present in his moments,
00:13:47.96\00:13:49.56
but I wanted to make sure that
he was also present in mine.
00:13:49.59\00:13:52.09
There wasn't a time where it
came to the place where I said,
00:13:52.13\00:13:55.13
“Hey, son, I
don't need you with me.”
00:13:55.16\00:13:57.20
How about you?
00:13:57.23\00:13:58.27
Bonding with the children,
how did you pull it off?
00:13:58.30\00:13:59.60
>>Dr. Smith: My wife
shared something with me
00:13:59.63\00:14:01.34
that brought tears to my eyes.
00:14:01.37\00:14:02.87
When my son was a younger
boy-- uh, he's a pastor now;
00:14:02.90\00:14:06.98
he considers
himself a spiritual giant--
00:14:07.01\00:14:08.91
but he was a young boy then,
00:14:08.94\00:14:11.08
and she brought tears to my
eyes when she shared with me
00:14:11.11\00:14:14.25
what he said to her one day.
00:14:14.28\00:14:16.52
Uh, he said, “Mommy, I don't
just love Daddy. I like Daddy.”
00:14:16.55\00:14:21.89
>>John: Oh, amen.
00:14:21.92\00:14:22.79
>>Dr. Smith: And basically,
00:14:22.82\00:14:24.23
I just placed a
premium on being friends.
00:14:24.26\00:14:27.20
Let's just be
pals; let's be friends.
00:14:27.23\00:14:28.90
But not, not friends to
the, to the point where we blur
00:14:28.93\00:14:33.27
uh, the guidelines of
order and accountability.
00:14:33.30\00:14:37.17
But let's enjoy one another.
00:14:37.21\00:14:38.64
And that happens
through spending time
00:14:38.67\00:14:40.61
and doing things together.
00:14:40.64\00:14:41.98
>>John: You know, you have this
thing where there are parents
00:14:42.01\00:14:43.65
who want to be
their children's buddy,
00:14:43.68\00:14:45.38
but they don't
want to be Dad or Mom.
00:14:45.41\00:14:47.18
And that, when those lines blur,
that's, that's destructive.
00:14:47.22\00:14:51.42
But when you can be a
friend as well as a parent,
00:14:51.45\00:14:54.26
now you've got a warm
relationship there, haven't you?
00:14:54.29\00:14:57.03
I want to ask you
about fathers in the Bible.
00:14:57.06\00:14:59.19
Point to a father in
the Bible who impresses you,
00:14:59.23\00:15:01.46
either for good or for
bad, and something we can learn
00:15:01.50\00:15:04.23
from that biblical father.
00:15:04.27\00:15:06.70
Dr. Smith, you first.
00:15:06.74\00:15:07.70
>>Dr. Smith: I think
of, uh, Jairus in the Bible.
00:15:07.74\00:15:11.47
Um, in Mark, in
the book of Mark,
00:15:11.51\00:15:13.74
we have a clear showcasing
of a man who was accustomed
00:15:13.78\00:15:17.18
to being in charge.
00:15:17.21\00:15:18.45
Not just at the
church, but he was in charge
00:15:18.48\00:15:20.25
of some very
important things in culture.
00:15:20.28\00:15:22.85
And he was
accustomed to fixing things.
00:15:22.88\00:15:25.85
People came to him for solutions
when they needed solutions.
00:15:25.89\00:15:29.52
And he was the guy that pretty
much resolved people's problems.
00:15:29.56\00:15:34.00
Uh, he encountered
a problem of his own
00:15:34.00\00:15:36.70
one day that he couldn't fix.
00:15:36.73\00:15:39.00
In his encounter with Jesus, he
wanted to tell Jesus what to do.
00:15:39.03\00:15:42.90
“Come to my house. Put
your hands on her like this.
00:15:42.94\00:15:45.94
And if you
follow my instructions,
00:15:45.97\00:15:47.21
if you take your
hands out of your pocket
00:15:47.24\00:15:48.91
and do what I ask you
to do, she'll be healed.”
00:15:48.94\00:15:51.31
And she, and, and, you
know, Jesus is a gentleman.
00:15:51.35\00:15:53.82
Eventually He did that.
00:15:53.85\00:15:55.42
But He frustrated Jairus along
the way by making him wait.
00:15:55.45\00:16:00.06
It was a long, it was a
very short distance to the house
00:16:00.09\00:16:02.82
where the daughter was
sick, but Jesus took His time,
00:16:02.86\00:16:04.83
and He moved slowly.
00:16:04.86\00:16:06.49
And He got there, and
basically we learn from,
00:16:06.53\00:16:09.16
from the story of Jairus
that there are a lot of things
00:16:09.20\00:16:11.60
in culture that we can fix, fix,
00:16:11.63\00:16:13.84
but there are some
things we cannot fix.
00:16:13.87\00:16:16.67
What a wonderful lesson
00:16:16.71\00:16:17.54
to convey to our
boys and our girls.
00:16:17.57\00:16:19.31
>>John: Amen.
00:16:19.34\00:16:20.31
>>Dr. Smith: Only
God can fix all problems.
00:16:20.34\00:16:21.88
We can't fix everything.
00:16:21.91\00:16:23.14
>>John: Amen. That's so true.
00:16:23.18\00:16:24.51
Eric, a father from the Bible.
00:16:24.55\00:16:26.08
>>Eric: I think of
Jacob. You know, Jacob had,
00:16:26.11\00:16:28.72
he came from a household
where there was favoritism.
00:16:28.75\00:16:32.32
He was the less-favored son.
00:16:32.35\00:16:34.82
But when it came
to his own household,
00:16:34.86\00:16:36.62
he showed favoritism as well.
00:16:36.66\00:16:38.79
You know, he showed
favoritism to his son Joseph,
00:16:38.83\00:16:40.96
and that caused a great deal
of problems within that family.
00:16:40.96\00:16:43.70
So we have a
tendency, if we're not careful,
00:16:43.73\00:16:45.80
to, to bring things
down from our own fathers,
00:16:45.83\00:16:48.40
whether good or bad.
00:16:48.44\00:16:50.21
So we have to look at
each of those things and say,
00:16:50.24\00:16:52.84
“Is this a characteristic
00:16:52.87\00:16:54.01
that I want to
bring down from my father,
00:16:54.04\00:16:56.21
or is this a characteristic that
I hope my child takes from me?”
00:16:56.24\00:17:00.48
Because they do tend to pass
from generation to generation,
00:17:00.52\00:17:02.65
if we're not careful.
00:17:02.68\00:17:03.72
>>John: You know, I
think of David in the Bible.
00:17:03.75\00:17:05.22
David who had massive
problems among his kids.
00:17:05.25\00:17:07.99
He had problems
in his household.
00:17:08.02\00:17:10.06
And it seems to me that
when Absalom went off the rails,
00:17:10.09\00:17:13.06
that may have been headed off
00:17:13.09\00:17:14.36
if, when there was a
problem in the family,
00:17:14.40\00:17:16.97
David had A) handled it--
00:17:17.00\00:17:19.43
we had, we had a terrible thing
going on in David's family,
00:17:19.47\00:17:22.90
and it appears he
just sort of let it go.
00:17:22.94\00:17:25.77
And then when he
realized that Absalom was,
00:17:25.81\00:17:27.81
was in rebellion mode,
00:17:27.84\00:17:29.64
he had a hands-off policy
rather than a hands-on policy.
00:17:29.68\00:17:32.41
There was a problem in his
family with one of his kids,
00:17:32.45\00:17:34.98
and instead of going
to the kid and saying,
00:17:35.02\00:17:36.85
hey, how about we go fishing?
00:17:36.89\00:17:38.85
Or let's just take
a long drive together.
00:17:38.89\00:17:40.66
Grab your glove.
I've got the ball.
00:17:40.69\00:17:42.36
Let's spend some time,
00:17:42.39\00:17:43.49
and bonding with that child,
00:17:43.53\00:17:46.13
bringing a problem out to
the open and discussing it,
00:17:46.16\00:17:48.76
David, it seems,
ignored what was going on,
00:17:48.80\00:17:52.43
and it just about
cost him his kingdom,
00:17:52.47\00:17:54.24
and it jeopardized
the future of Israel.
00:17:54.27\00:17:56.30
Yves, I'll come
back to you in a moment,
00:17:56.34\00:17:57.91
and we'll ask you
about a dad from the Bible.
00:17:57.94\00:18:00.38
Then we'll
discuss a little bit more
00:18:00.41\00:18:01.88
this very important
thing called fatherhood.
00:18:01.91\00:18:05.88
Back with more in a moment.
00:18:05.91\00:18:07.42
¤[Music]¤
00:18:07.45\00:18:12.29
>>Announcer: In Matthew
4:4, the Word of God says,
00:18:15.29\00:18:17.86
“It is written, ‘Man
shall not live by bread alone,
00:18:17.89\00:18:20.90
but by every word that proceeds
from the mouth of God.'”
00:18:20.93\00:18:24.53
Every Word
00:18:24.57\00:18:25.77
is a one-minute Bible-based
daily devotional presented by
00:18:25.80\00:18:28.60
Pastor John Bradshaw,
00:18:28.64\00:18:30.21
and designed especially
for busy people like you.
00:18:30.24\00:18:33.24
Look for Every Word
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00:18:33.27\00:18:36.01
or watch it online
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00:18:36.04\00:18:38.41
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00:18:38.45\00:18:40.38
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00:18:40.42\00:18:43.85
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00:18:43.89\00:18:48.72
¤[Every Word theme music]¤
00:18:48.76\00:18:53.86
>>John: Thanks for joining me.
00:18:53.90\00:18:55.00
In 2007, a 20-year-old
film student suffered a seizure
00:18:55.03\00:18:58.27
on the platform of a
subway station in New York City
00:18:58.30\00:19:01.07
and fell onto the tracks.
00:19:01.10\00:19:02.47
A construction
worker named Wesley Autry
00:19:02.50\00:19:04.71
tried unsuccessfully to
get the man off the tracks.
00:19:04.74\00:19:07.28
So with the train approaching,
00:19:07.31\00:19:08.98
he threw himself
on top of the man
00:19:09.01\00:19:10.71
in a drainage trench
right between the tracks.
00:19:10.75\00:19:13.38
The train passed
over them so close
00:19:13.42\00:19:16.38
it left grease
on Mr. Autry's cap.
00:19:16.42\00:19:18.95
Galatians 6:2 says,
“Bear one another's burdens,
00:19:18.99\00:19:21.76
and so fulfill
the law of Christ.”
00:19:21.79\00:19:24.13
Few people ever
have the opportunity
00:19:24.16\00:19:25.96
to do something like that.
00:19:25.99\00:19:27.76
But most every day we
get the chance to intervene
00:19:27.76\00:19:30.27
in someone's life,
to make a difference,
00:19:30.30\00:19:32.87
to bear someone's
burden and to show a love
00:19:32.90\00:19:35.00
that helps someone
see the love of God.
00:19:35.04\00:19:37.47
Pray that God will
give you the opportunity
00:19:37.51\00:19:39.47
to reveal Him and
His love to others.
00:19:39.51\00:19:41.91
I'm John Bradshaw
for It Is Written.
00:19:41.94\00:19:43.85
Let's live today by every word.
00:19:43.88\00:19:46.88
¤[Music]¤
00:19:49.65\00:19:55.62
>>John: Thanks for joining
me today on It Is Written.
00:19:55.66\00:19:58.16
Fatherhood: It must be
one of the most important jobs
00:19:58.19\00:20:01.93
ever committed
to any human being.
00:20:01.96\00:20:04.37
Yves Monnier, a father from
the Bible who impresses you,
00:20:04.40\00:20:07.44
for good or for bad.
00:20:07.47\00:20:09.30
>>Yves: Well, this
one impresses me for good.
00:20:09.34\00:20:10.97
This is the
father from the story,
00:20:11.01\00:20:12.94
the parable, of
the prodigal son.
00:20:12.97\00:20:15.04
We have the father
here, prominent in the story.
00:20:15.08\00:20:18.35
This father, of
course, represents God.
00:20:18.38\00:20:21.88
And one must
assume that in this home,
00:20:21.92\00:20:24.62
it was a good home,
and the father was perfect.
00:20:24.65\00:20:29.16
Well, even in a
perfect home, in a good home,
00:20:29.19\00:20:33.19
in a good Christian
home, sad things can happen.
00:20:33.23\00:20:37.50
The son, as we know, wandered,
00:20:37.53\00:20:39.67
and it probably broke
the father's heart for sure.
00:20:39.70\00:20:43.81
Lesson number one, bad things
can happen even in good homes.
00:20:43.84\00:20:48.08
But don't lose heart.
00:20:48.11\00:20:49.91
And that's lesson number
two: The father never stopped
00:20:49.94\00:20:53.35
believing that
his son would return.
00:20:53.38\00:20:55.65
And the story, of
course, has a wonderful ending.
00:20:55.68\00:20:58.09
>>John: And when
the son did return,
00:20:58.12\00:20:59.32
the father did not
read him the riot act.
00:20:59.35\00:21:01.56
He welcomed him with love.
00:21:01.59\00:21:03.09
You know, you
mention that because,
00:21:03.12\00:21:05.26
undoubtedly, there are fathers
who are hanging their heads
00:21:05.29\00:21:07.40
and saying, “I wish I'd
done it this way or that way.”
00:21:07.46\00:21:09.46
And while that may be the case,
00:21:09.50\00:21:11.97
uh, we remember
that our heavenly Father
00:21:12.00\00:21:14.00
lost a third of His children
00:21:14.04\00:21:16.24
in a perfect place where
there's never been any sin.
00:21:16.27\00:21:19.17
And a third of them just
said, “We're outta here.”
00:21:19.21\00:21:21.91
Dr. Smith, how can we as fathers
invest in our sons and daughters
00:21:21.94\00:21:26.61
so that they
grow up to love God?
00:21:26.65\00:21:29.02
>>Dr. Smith: I think
those three principles
00:21:29.05\00:21:31.02
really, really matter.
00:21:31.05\00:21:32.72
But Micah 6:8, as I
emphasize, you know,
00:21:32.75\00:21:35.59
doing justly, love mercy,
and walking humbly with God.
00:21:35.62\00:21:39.09
But also those
three principles of
00:21:39.13\00:21:40.96
factoring God into your journey,
dreaming big, and working hard.
00:21:40.96\00:21:46.13
>>John: Yves, you've raised
a couple of kids to adulthood.
00:21:46.17\00:21:49.04
They both love God.
00:21:49.07\00:21:50.81
They're still
faithful in the church.
00:21:50.84\00:21:53.04
This does not
happen by accident.
00:21:53.07\00:21:55.38
What did you do to deliberately
invest in your children
00:21:55.41\00:21:58.65
so that they, so
that they were Christians
00:21:58.68\00:22:02.12
after they'd left your home?
00:22:02.15\00:22:03.82
>>Yves: I think
sometimes the problem with, uh,
00:22:03.85\00:22:05.89
certain children, they see
their father saying one thing,
00:22:05.92\00:22:10.49
and they see then their
father doing something else.
00:22:10.53\00:22:13.90
So in my life I did my
very best. And, to be honest,
00:22:13.93\00:22:17.87
I don't think that I
was successful all the time,
00:22:17.90\00:22:20.97
but, I believe,
a lot of the time,
00:22:21.00\00:22:24.41
and that is to make sure
that my words and my actions
00:22:24.44\00:22:28.21
were in harmony.
00:22:28.24\00:22:29.51
And I believe that has had
a profound impact upon them.
00:22:29.54\00:22:32.41
My children still, thank God,
00:22:32.45\00:22:35.08
to this day love
and walk with Jesus.
00:22:35.12\00:22:37.75
>>John: It's
been important to me,
00:22:37.79\00:22:38.65
raising my two kids, to, uh,
00:22:38.69\00:22:41.29
to try to give them a picture
of what God is really like.
00:22:41.32\00:22:45.89
I think, I think,
I might say I know,
00:22:45.93\00:22:49.06
but I think many kids
are put off Christianity
00:22:49.10\00:22:54.24
by the picture of
God that is taught them
00:22:54.27\00:22:57.07
or portrayed to them.
00:22:57.11\00:22:59.07
We mustn't teach our children
that God is angry with them
00:22:59.11\00:23:02.34
or he's a hard taskmaster.
00:23:02.38\00:23:03.88
The Bible says that God is love.
00:23:03.91\00:23:06.72
Um, and I think it's
crucial to transmit values
00:23:06.75\00:23:10.79
to our kids that teach them that
God loves them no matter what.
00:23:10.82\00:23:15.36
Okay, let's be quick
now. We have little time.
00:23:15.39\00:23:17.39
What not to do as a father.
00:23:17.43\00:23:19.43
>>Eric: Don't
belittle your children.
00:23:19.46\00:23:20.96
You know, even if you
are frustrated with them,
00:23:21.00\00:23:22.83
if you get angry, but if
you belittle, belittle them,
00:23:22.86\00:23:26.23
it takes a lot of
wind out of their sails.
00:23:26.27\00:23:28.64
Now, it's
important to, to correct,
00:23:28.67\00:23:30.61
but, but not to speak down
to. There's a big difference.
00:23:30.64\00:23:33.01
>>John: You know, I
wish fathers would think
00:23:33.04\00:23:34.61
about the impact of
their actions and their words.
00:23:34.64\00:23:37.08
What is saying
this or doing this
00:23:37.11\00:23:38.61
actually going to do to my kid?
00:23:38.65\00:23:40.68
And when you
belittle your children,
00:23:40.72\00:23:42.62
you put a wall
between you and your child.
00:23:42.65\00:23:44.22
They don't trust you.
00:23:44.25\00:23:45.55
They don't think that you have
their best interests in mind.
00:23:45.59\00:23:48.59
Dr. Smith, what are the do-nots?
00:23:48.62\00:23:50.13
>>Dr. Smith: Do not
leave discouragement unmanaged.
00:23:50.16\00:23:53.43
>>John: Explain.
00:23:53.46\00:23:54.56
>>Dr. Smith: One of
the most detrimental things
00:23:54.60\00:23:55.93
that can happen is to try to
be a parent while discouraged
00:23:55.96\00:23:58.83
and not managing it.
00:23:58.87\00:23:59.70
We manage
discouragement by praying
00:23:59.73\00:24:01.77
and teaching our children to
pray, dealing with our anger.
00:24:01.80\00:24:04.61
Anger can go so
many different ways,
00:24:04.64\00:24:06.31
but dealing with it
responsibly helps us.
00:24:06.34\00:24:09.24
And there are a
battery of principles, um,
00:24:09.28\00:24:11.71
dealing with dependency needs.
00:24:11.75\00:24:14.48
Stop playing God, which simply
means if God forgives you,
00:24:14.52\00:24:17.42
you have to forgive yourself
00:24:17.45\00:24:18.59
so that you can
forgive others as well.
00:24:18.62\00:24:20.72
>>John: Yves,
what are the do-nots?
00:24:20.76\00:24:22.46
>>Yves: Do not affirm
your children only when
00:24:22.49\00:24:25.23
they do something good--
00:24:25.26\00:24:27.03
“Oh, I'm so proud
of you; you got an A!"
00:24:27.03\00:24:29.90
“Oh, I'm so proud of
you because you played
00:24:29.93\00:24:32.33
so well your
musical instrument!”--
00:24:32.37\00:24:35.00
because then they will
equate that with, “Well,
00:24:35.04\00:24:38.17
he only affirms
me, he only loves me,
00:24:38.21\00:24:40.91
because of things that I do.”
00:24:40.94\00:24:42.94
So I made sure
that I affirmed them,
00:24:42.98\00:24:45.35
even when they
did not do as well:
00:24:45.38\00:24:47.42
“I love you; I'm proud of you;
00:24:47.45\00:24:49.02
keep at it; you will
do better next time.”
00:24:49.05\00:24:51.62
>>John: I would say,
do not yell at your kids.
00:24:51.65\00:24:54.46
Do not. That
doesn't mean you--there are,
00:24:54.49\00:24:56.26
you better yell if they're
standing on the railroad track
00:24:56.29\00:24:58.59
and a train is coming. Do yell.
00:24:58.63\00:25:01.13
But the child
dropped food on the floor
00:25:01.16\00:25:03.16
or left a sock
on the staircase--
00:25:03.20\00:25:05.63
Come on, man. Don't yell.
00:25:05.67\00:25:08.27
I think it's really,
really important that a father,
00:25:08.30\00:25:10.67
who is the
clearest picture of God
00:25:10.71\00:25:13.31
many children have growing up--
00:25:13.34\00:25:14.64
you understand
what I mean by that?
00:25:14.68\00:25:15.88
You spoke about it earlier.
It's, it's important, uh,
00:25:15.91\00:25:20.32
that we control our emotions,
and that we, that we, uh,
00:25:20.35\00:25:25.29
don't just blow up or
lose it around our kids.
00:25:25.32\00:25:29.22
Uh, it's just destructive.
00:25:29.26\00:25:31.39
From my point of
view, it's destructive.
00:25:31.43\00:25:32.79
Man, there's more we could say,
00:25:32.83\00:25:33.86
but I'm grateful
that you've been here.
00:25:33.90\00:25:34.83
Eric, thanks so much.
00:25:34.86\00:25:36.23
Yves Monnier,
appreciate it very much.
00:25:36.26\00:25:37.87
Dr. Smith, thank you for
taking your time with us today.
00:25:37.90\00:25:41.24
Deeply appreciate it.
00:25:41.27\00:25:43.17
¤[Music]¤
00:25:43.20\00:25:47.91
>>John: Some of the most famous
words ever written tell us that
00:25:50.28\00:25:53.98
“God so loved the world.”
00:25:54.02\00:25:56.99
The same book in which
those words are written
00:25:57.02\00:25:58.65
tell us that “God is love.”
00:25:58.69\00:26:01.32
Go deep into the love of
God with today's free offer,
00:26:01.36\00:26:06.26
“A Father's Love.”
00:26:06.29\00:26:07.60
To receive “A Father's Love,”
00:26:07.66\00:26:09.10
call us on 800-253-3000
00:26:09.13\00:26:12.30
or visit us online
at itiswritten.com.
00:26:12.33\00:26:15.30
You can write to the
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00:26:15.34\00:26:17.47
and receive free
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00:26:17.51\00:26:20.61
Thanks for
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00:26:20.64\00:26:22.61
is a faith-based ministry.
00:26:22.64\00:26:24.61
And your support
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or through our
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00:26:32.99\00:26:36.39
Thank you for your
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00:26:36.42\00:26:39.09
Again, our toll-free
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00:26:39.13\00:26:42.86
That's 800-253-3000.
00:26:42.90\00:26:45.57
And our web
address, that's easy:
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ItIsWritten.com.
00:26:47.84\00:26:49.77
>>John: I'm glad
you joined me today.
00:26:50.64\00:26:51.64
Let's take a moment to
pray together right now.
00:26:51.67\00:26:54.34
Our Father in heaven, we
thank You today for Jesus,
00:26:54.38\00:26:57.88
Your Son, our Savior.
00:26:57.91\00:27:00.68
We thank You for
You, our heavenly Father,
00:27:00.72\00:27:04.65
our perfect, unfailing, always
patient, always wise Father
00:27:04.69\00:27:10.06
who knows what is best
for us in every situation.
00:27:10.09\00:27:14.56
I pray for every father,
00:27:14.56\00:27:16.90
that You would bless
the dads and the grandpas
00:27:16.93\00:27:19.30
and the great-grandpas
to model faith in God,
00:27:19.33\00:27:23.61
to be patient and kind,
00:27:23.64\00:27:27.14
and to share Jesus and model
Jesus as wisely as possible.
00:27:27.18\00:27:32.55
Lord, bless the fathers.
00:27:32.58\00:27:34.38
Even when we fail,
we need Your help then.
00:27:34.42\00:27:37.62
And give us grace that
we can point our children
00:27:37.65\00:27:40.19
to You and encourage
in them faith in You.
00:27:40.22\00:27:43.63
Bless us now, we
pray, and we thank You,
00:27:43.66\00:27:45.39
in Jesus' name,
00:27:45.43\00:27:46.76
amen.
00:27:46.80\00:27:48.53
Thank you so much
for joining us today.
00:27:48.56\00:27:50.47
I'm looking forward to
seeing you again next time.
00:27:50.50\00:27:52.10
Until then, remember:
00:27:52.13\00:27:53.67
“It is written, ‘Man
shall not live by bread alone
00:27:53.70\00:27:57.97
but by every word that proceeds
from the mouth of God.'”
00:27:58.01\00:28:01.98
¤[Theme music]¤
00:28:02.01\00:28:07.02