¤ [It is Written theme]
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¤ [It is Written theme]
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¤ [It is Written theme]
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This is It Is Written.
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Thanks for joining me
today. I'm John Bradshaw.
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Today a subject that touches the
life of every breathing person
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on the planet. We've
been made a certain way by
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a creative God who's given
us a mind with which to think,
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and he's made us to
be emotional beings.
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And you know that there are some
people who just don't seem to be
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able to control their emotions.
Or perhaps, perhaps I'm talking
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about you and me.
There are times when our
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emotions just seem
to get the better of us.
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So how can we be
emotionally intelligent?
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There's somebody who's going
to guide our thinking on this
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subject; that's Dr. Neil
Nedley. He's the president of
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Nedley Health
Solutions. Dr. Nedley,
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thanks for joining
me today. NN: Thank you.
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Great being here,
John. JB: How do we analyze
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our thoughts? NN:
Well, we have to actually
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put them into our
frontal lobe to analyze them.
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In other words, when we feel
emotional some way, we have to
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be aware that that's happening.
Then we need to look at the
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belief or the thought that is
causing us to have the emotional
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consequence, which then
has a behavioral consequence.
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We call it the ABCs of
emotional intelligence.
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The A is the activating
event, or being aware.
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The B is the belief. And
the C is the consequence.
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And a lot of people
think it just goes from A to C.
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Now, we have a role to
play in regard to our emotions,
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and that's our belief
about the A that brings about
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the emotional consequence.
JB: So when things happen, it's
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wise that we become or that we
choose to be the type of person
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that says, wait a minute,
what's really going on here,
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and how should I be
thinking? NN: Exactly.
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JB: Right, we don't do
that when suddenly we just react
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in a rage. NN: That's right.
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JB: Lose our
temper, fly off the handle.
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NN: Exactly. JB: When people
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aren't thinking straight,
their thoughts are distorted.
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What are common
distorted thoughts?
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NN: Well, one of them is
magnification and minimization.
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We have a tendency to major
in minors and minor in majors.
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And an example would be Saul.
When Samuel came to him and told
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him about the
problems of why he hadn't done
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all of the
instructions, he minimized it,
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acted like it
wasn't a big deal at all,
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explained it away. JB:
This is when Samuel said,
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look I asked you
to wipe out everybody.
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Why didn't you do it? Oh,
it's not such a big problem.
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We brought those animals to
sacrifice to God, so we're okay.
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NN: Yeah, exactly.
JB: It wasn't okay.
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NN: And then he only became
concerned when the consequences
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came down for that
action, and we know
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God is the righteous
judge, so it was appropriate
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consequences, and he
began to dwell on the unfairness
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of that punishment.
Really, it all started as a
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result of magnification of self.
There's a book that you might
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want to pick up. We
mentioned this in our book
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"The Lost Art of Thinking,"
but there's another psychologist
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who picked it up,
called "What Your Counselor
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Never Told You: The Seven Sins
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That Lead to Mental
Illness." And the first sin that
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he mentions that leads
to mental illness is the sin
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of pride. That's when we
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magnify ourselves. Then
he gives you a little test
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to see whether you might
have it: trying to be noticed,
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craving attention,
itching for compliments,
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needing to be important,
detesting the idea of being
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submissive, flaunting
your individual rights,
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thinking you have
excellences you don't have.
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Those are all indicators
of pride, and when an inflated
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sense of self comes about,
you will then eventually have
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wounded pride, and then you're
going to end up with feelings of
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worthlessness, which is also
the other side of the equation.
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So it always starts out with too
much pride, before we get to the
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very poor self-esteem,
poor self-worth, feelings of
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worthlessness, which then,
of course, results in severe
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depression, suicidal thoughts.
JB: We see how fundamental this
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is just by thinking
about that common expression,
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"What was he
thinking?" NN: Exactly.
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Yes, exactly. JB: And
if only the individual
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had stopped to think--people in
a rage grab a gun, or so on--in
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and at the same
time tyrants and despots.
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NN: Yes. JB: They
get to where they get
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because of this very distorted
thinking, not looking at things
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really rationally or
accurately. NN: Right.
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And they tend to be
very egotistical individuals.
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In contrast, we
have the life of Christ.
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One of the best
biographies states him this way:
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"He was never elated
by applause, nor dejected
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by censure or disappointment."
Among the greatest opposition
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and the most cruel treatment
he was still of good courage.
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Why was that the case?
Because he was never elated
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by applause; he
never allowed himself
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to have this egotistical
self as being the rule.
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And that's a key
element of having emotional
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intelligence--to know what our
weaknesses are, to be humble,
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to give deference to others.
That's one of the things that is
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important in emotional
intelligence, and certainly
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not magnifying self.
JB: Now, you look at another
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person in the Bible, Solomon.
Now, it seems almost that
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Solomon might have
suffered from depression.
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NN: Oh, He did.
JB: Well, talking about
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distortions, what was his
big distortion in his thinking?
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NN: Emotional reasoning.
It was different from Saul's.
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Emotional reasoning leads
people to seek things that
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cause others pleasure.
And so they want to be happy,
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and actually more
pleasure leads to less pleasure.
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JB: How's that? NN:
Solomon tells his story
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in Ecclesiastes. He
says how he used alcohol,
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I think opium was
involved, so there was alcohol,
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there were
drugs, and then he said,
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I didn't allow
myself to not view anything.
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In fact, anything that caused
me pleasure I would go for.
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So there was pornography, and
then there was live pornography.
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Those are all false ways
of altering the way you feel.
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The way of altering the way
you feel is to actually change
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your thoughts. But
when you go for substances
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or events to try to
alter your feelings,
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first you get a high from that,
but then as you do it more,
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you actually get less of a high,
and in between times you have
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severe distressing sense
of deprivation, even though
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there's nothing
going wrong in your system.
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Solomon had everything
going right for him; he was the
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wealthiest man on the
planet, he had a lot of things
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going right, but
he ended up severely
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depressed from actually
going through frontal lobe
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suppressing activities
to try to get happiness.
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JB: So many examples of
people who seem to have it all,
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but their lives are miserable
because in their own minds
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they don't have
what's most important.
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NN: Well, emotional reasoning
goes something like this as
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well, it will progress to this.
First you seek pleasure in any
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way that you can find it, and
then you get to the point where
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you're saying, "I feel like
a dud; therefore I am a dud."
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I feel overwhelmed and helpless;
thus, my problems are impossible
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to solve. And so
just because you feel
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that way, you conclude
that it has to be true.
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And you know, feelings come and
feelings go, and feelings can be
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quite deceiving. JB:
We'll talk more about this
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in just a moment.
Thinking straight, thinking
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healthfully, so very, very
important when it comes to a
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person's relationship
with God. We'll have more
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in just a moment.
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¤ [Gentle
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of guilt. And
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to undo the past, God offers
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that it comes with the promise
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Sound too good to be true?
Well, see what the bible says.
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Our booklet, "Hope
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will walk you through the
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Just call 800-253-3000
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JB: This is It Is
Written. I'm John Bradshaw.
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I'm glad you've
chosen to join me today.
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What a blessing to
have Dr. Neil Nedley here.
00:10:55.15\00:10:57.29
We are discussing emotional
intelligence and how to think
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straight, thinking healthfully.
It's true, isn't it, that when
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we learn to think right,
and even when we learn to think
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right about our thoughts,
we're going to do a whole
00:11:08.56\00:11:11.27
lot better emotionally
and spiritually as well.
00:11:11.27\00:11:13.67
NN: Correct. JB: We
see people in the Bible
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who fought their way
into difficult situations.
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I'm thinking
about Elijah. NN: Yes.
00:11:20.51\00:11:23.55
JB: You don't think about these
great Bible heroes as being
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emotionally weak, or at least
momentarily messing up their
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thinking processes,
but it seems he did.
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NN: Elijah was different from
Saul and Solomon, which gives us
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an example that people who have
depression, there's always a
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different set of
causes that are there.
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It's not always the same causes.
With Saul it was magnification
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of self. With Solomon it was
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emotional reasoning. And
Elijah was not a prideful
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individual like Saul. He
didn't do things for the sake
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of pleasure only
like Solomon did.
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He was a very godly man, but he
ended up with severe depression.
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If you remember the story,
God was trying to prepare him
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for something great,
for transforming the nation.
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And first there was no rain, and
then Elijah went to the brook
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and was being fed by the ravens.
He wouldn't believe until the
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brook dried up, and even then
he didn't leave until the Lord
00:12:18.53\00:12:20.87
told him to go to
Jezreel, Jezebel's home town.
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Then he was put on a
plant-based, vegetarian diet,
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trying to get him
even better ready.
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But even then he wasn't ready
for Ahab until he proved that he
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could live with an argumentative
woman successfully, who'd lashed
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out at him when
things went wrong.
00:12:36.69\00:12:39.55
And when the Lord saw how
calmly he dealt with that woman,
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he said, okay,
you're ready for Ahab.
00:12:42.22\00:12:44.33
And this tremendous event
occurred, the beginning of the
00:12:44.33\00:12:47.66
transformation of the nation,
and then Jezebel within 24 hours
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threatens his life, and
Elijah takes off running
00:12:51.20\00:12:54.54
to save his life. JB:
And suddenly this man,
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who'd seen God work
incredibly powerfully,
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fire from heaven,
he's threatened by this
00:13:00.18\00:13:03.11
harridan, and off he goes
with his tail between his legs.
00:13:03.11\00:13:06.31
NN: Yeah. Of
course, he had reason to
00:13:06.31\00:13:07.95
fear, because she had feared
other prophets, you know, there,
00:13:07.95\00:13:10.39
so he had reason to fear.
But he didn't wait on God.
00:13:10.39\00:13:12.69
He went and started running,
and then 30 days later he asked
00:13:12.69\00:13:16.83
for the Lord to take his
life. He says, it's over with,
00:13:16.83\00:13:19.36
I'm depressed,
just take my life.
00:13:19.36\00:13:22.40
And really, it was about as
close to suicide as a godly man
00:13:22.40\00:13:25.23
would have. And
the Lord had to put him
00:13:25.23\00:13:27.60
through a program.
He had to, you know,
00:13:27.60\00:13:29.60
come and feed him
food. I think there was some
00:13:29.60\00:13:31.47
flaxseed there.
He had to put him on
00:13:31.47\00:13:33.41
an exercise program. He
actually had to get him out
00:13:33.41\00:13:35.54
into the light, out of the cave.
But what really helped Elijah
00:13:35.54\00:13:40.08
was the still small voice.
That was what we call cognitive
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behavioral therapy, where
the Lord was coming to see what
00:13:44.25\00:13:47.19
thoughts were there, and to help
Elijah analyze his thoughts.
00:13:47.19\00:13:50.99
Elijah began to tell
what was on his mind.
00:13:50.99\00:13:53.66
He said, I'm the only one that
has not bowed the knee to Baal.
00:13:53.66\00:13:58.37
That's called
overgeneralization.
00:13:58.37\00:14:00.77
JB: That certainly was not
true. NN: He should have said,
00:14:00.77\00:14:03.30
I'm the only one
I know of, maybe.
00:14:03.30\00:14:04.81
JB: Right. NN: But
instead, he just knew he
00:14:04.81\00:14:06.81
was the only one. And
the Lord let him get by with
00:14:06.81\00:14:09.91
that the first time, but the
second time he had to stop him,
00:14:09.91\00:14:12.48
and he said,
Elijah, you're wrong;
00:14:12.48\00:14:14.55
you're not only wrong,
you're wrong by a factor of
00:14:14.55\00:14:16.89
seven thousand. JB:
Yeah, now let me ask you
00:14:16.89\00:14:19.15
this question, because we're
talking about a prophet of God,
00:14:19.15\00:14:23.49
a man who was
taken to heaven. NN: Yes.
00:14:23.49\00:14:28.63
JB: ...without seeing death.
And he suffered from depression.
00:14:28.63\00:14:32.27
NN: Yes. It tells
you the sympathy that
00:14:32.27\00:14:34.30
the Lord has for
people in depression.
00:14:34.30\00:14:36.50
JB: It's okay to be
depressed, isn't it?
00:14:36.50\00:14:38.44
You understand what I
mean. NN: Oh, absolutely.
00:14:38.44\00:14:40.24
It's okay to be
depressed. But it's not okay
00:14:40.24\00:14:43.65
to stay depressed. JB: No, no.
00:14:43.65\00:14:45.58
NN: And if you just ignore
it, and try to protect it,
00:14:45.58\00:14:51.29
without getting the
actual help you need,
00:14:51.29\00:14:54.39
it can be a problem.
JB: I want to clarify this.
00:14:54.39\00:14:56.83
It is acceptable for a believer
in God to, to be suffering
00:14:56.83\00:15:02.43
from depression. I
don't mean wallow in it,
00:15:02.43\00:15:04.30
but hey, it's okay. NN:
That's right, Elijah had it.
00:15:04.30\00:15:07.60
JB: Yeah, there you
go. So there's the proof
00:15:07.60\00:15:08.80
right there. NN: Yeah.
00:15:08.80\00:15:10.87
JB: So we want to learn
to think straight and to be
00:15:10.87\00:15:15.68
emotionally intelligent. I
have a feeling that emotional
00:15:15.68\00:15:19.51
intelligence has more to do
with just thoughts, more to do
00:15:19.51\00:15:23.35
with--there's more to it
than just thinking straight.
00:15:23.35\00:15:25.99
Perhaps in a
moment we'll explore that.
00:15:25.99\00:15:27.76
NN: Good JB:
Emotional intelligence.
00:15:27.76\00:15:31.29
Learning to think in such a
way that you thrive emotionally,
00:15:31.29\00:15:35.63
and that you can have a
strong relationship with God.
00:15:35.63\00:15:38.80
So often people who get
into this "nobody loves me,
00:15:38.80\00:15:42.27
I have no value," they
come to the place where
00:15:42.27\00:15:45.44
"not even God can
love me and help me."
00:15:45.44\00:15:47.71
And you don't want to be
there. More in just a moment.
00:15:47.71\00:15:50.68
"Every Word" is a one-minute,
Bible-based daily devotional
00:15:51.35\00:15:55.98
presented by Pastor
John Bradshaw, and designed
00:15:55.98\00:15:58.49
especially for
busy people like you.
00:15:58.49\00:16:01.06
Look for "Every
Word" on selected networks
00:16:01.06\00:16:03.49
or watch it online
every day on our website,
00:16:03.49\00:16:06.03
ItIsWritten.com. [Music]
00:16:06.03\00:16:17.01
Life often throws up
circumstances that provoke
00:16:17.01\00:16:20.18
a person to lose their temper.
And I've often heard it said,
00:16:20.18\00:16:23.45
well, you can't blame him,
or her, given the circumstances.
00:16:23.45\00:16:27.52
But look at this;
it's Proverbs 16:32.
00:16:27.52\00:16:29.88
The wise man wrote,
"He who is slow to anger is
00:16:29.88\00:16:32.42
better than the mighty, and he
who rules his spirit than he who
00:16:32.42\00:16:35.62
takes a city."  It's virtuous to
control your temper, not to lose
00:16:35.62\00:16:39.19
it.  The Bible never recommends
blowing up, giving people a
00:16:39.19\00:16:42.40
piece of your mind, letting it
rip.  God's grace is given to us
00:16:42.40\00:16:45.83
so that we can be Christ-like.
And Jesus was a model of
00:16:45.83\00:16:49.77
evenness every day of his life.
The Pharisees plagued his steps,
00:16:49.77\00:16:53.71
he had Judas and Peter to deal
with, demon-possessed people,
00:16:53.71\00:16:56.38
and yet he never lost it.
Challenging, isn't it?  But it's
00:16:56.38\00:17:01.15
what Jesus can do in your life,
and he wants to do it today.
00:17:01.15\00:17:04.79
I'm John Bradshaw for It
Is Written. Let's live today
00:17:04.79\00:17:07.32
by every word.
This is It Is Written.
00:17:07.32\00:17:11.96
I'm John Bradshaw.
Thanks for joining me today.
00:17:11.96\00:17:15.03
Today,
controlling your emotions.
00:17:15.03\00:17:17.60
Dr. Nedley, a
moment ago we talked about
00:17:17.60\00:17:20.20
really a surprising
figure, the great Elijah,
00:17:20.20\00:17:23.71
taken by God to
heaven in a chariot of fire,
00:17:23.71\00:17:27.88
and yet emotionally he
was a wreck there for a while.
00:17:27.88\00:17:31.38
NN: Yes. JB: But
God put Elijah on a
00:17:31.38\00:17:33.52
program that brought him
back to emotional health.
00:17:33.52\00:17:36.99
NN: Yes. JB: So we
want to be the kind of
00:17:36.99\00:17:38.49
person who's
emotionally healthy.
00:17:38.49\00:17:39.72
What was that program
that God put Elijah on?
00:17:39.72\00:17:42.26
NN: It was good
nutrition, it was exercise,
00:17:42.26\00:17:45.46
it was light therapy,
and it was helping him to
00:17:45.46\00:17:50.20
analyze his thoughts and
correct his distorted thoughts.
00:17:50.20\00:17:54.90
After that was done, it
still wasn't complete until
00:17:54.90\00:17:58.87
Elijah actually carried out
the instructions of God in areas
00:17:58.87\00:18:04.11
that he did not want to do.
JB: Hmm, that's interesting.
00:18:04.11\00:18:08.12
Hey, first I want to
ask you, light therapy.
00:18:08.12\00:18:10.82
What's that? NN: We
actually need bright
00:18:10.82\00:18:12.92
light for our brains to
function good every day.
00:18:12.92\00:18:16.26
And, you know, when we're
depressed, we have a tendency to
00:18:16.26\00:18:18.33
get into a cave and, you
know, just enclose ourselves in.
00:18:18.33\00:18:22.46
And that's why God sent
the earthquake and the storm,
00:18:22.46\00:18:26.17
to try to get
Elijah out of that cave.
00:18:26.17\00:18:28.50
He sent a fire. He
kept trying to get him out
00:18:28.50\00:18:30.64
into the light.
Finally, after he got him out
00:18:30.64\00:18:32.77
into the light for a while,
that's when the still small
00:18:32.77\00:18:36.81
voice came, which was helping
him to get rid of his distorted
00:18:36.81\00:18:40.02
thought. JB: Hey,
isn't that interesting,
00:18:40.02\00:18:41.45
that it was key for Elijah to
start doing the things that God
00:18:41.45\00:18:43.89
asked him to do? NN: Yes...yes.
00:18:43.89\00:18:46.42
JB: Why is that important?
NN: Because God always wants us
00:18:46.42\00:18:50.33
to do things that are best
for us and best for others.
00:18:50.33\00:18:54.30
JB: I wonder, too, if when a
person knows they're not doing
00:18:54.30\00:18:57.47
God's will they're wracked
by guilt and can't be healthy
00:18:57.47\00:19:00.87
emotionally. Is that part of it?
00:19:00.87\00:19:03.17
NN: Oh, it can
very well be part of it.
00:19:03.17\00:19:04.97
I mean, that's why Jonah ended
up, you know, very depressed in
00:19:04.97\00:19:08.64
the situation that he
was in, and others as well.
00:19:08.64\00:19:11.28
If we are convicted that the
Lord wants us to go this way,
00:19:11.28\00:19:14.42
and the evidence is in his
Word to go that way, but we go
00:19:14.42\00:19:17.89
another way,
that's self-sabotage.
00:19:17.89\00:19:20.19
JB: Okay, now, what's the
path to emotional wellness,
00:19:20.19\00:19:24.09
the path to
controlling one's emotions?
00:19:24.09\00:19:28.40
Perhaps what we might say is,
what are the characteristics of
00:19:28.40\00:19:31.27
somebody who's
got it figured out?
00:19:31.27\00:19:33.23
Because we want
to be those people.
00:19:33.23\00:19:34.77
NN: Sure. Yeah,
characteristics of people
00:19:34.77\00:19:37.11
who do have it figured out
is they're actually going to be
00:19:37.11\00:19:39.74
curious about
people they don't know.
00:19:39.74\00:19:42.01
They're actually going to
be well liked by most people--
00:19:42.01\00:19:45.75
not by everybody,
we're not asking anyone
00:19:45.75\00:19:47.65
to be liked by everybody.
You can't be liked by everybody
00:19:47.65\00:19:49.85
a hundred percent of the time.
JB: Curious about people you
00:19:49.85\00:19:52.42
don't know? Why
is that important?
00:19:52.42\00:19:54.69
NN: Well, remember, part
of emotional intelligence is
00:19:54.69\00:19:57.56
managing
relationships with others.
00:19:57.56\00:20:00.00
If you're not curious about
people you don't know and want
00:20:00.00\00:20:03.06
to see what makes them tick
and to help get to know them,
00:20:03.06\00:20:06.74
that's an issue. That's
why you need to have your
00:20:06.74\00:20:08.50
thoughts corrected.
We are social beings.
00:20:08.50\00:20:11.61
And actually, when we get
into the social isolation mode,
00:20:11.61\00:20:14.54
that's going to hurt
us, as well as hurt others.
00:20:14.54\00:20:17.55
So that's an important element.
If you're on an airplane, are
00:20:17.55\00:20:20.18
you going to talk to the person
next to you and see why they're
00:20:20.18\00:20:22.35
there, and try to
get to know them some?
00:20:22.35\00:20:24.95
Emotionally
intelligent people do that.
00:20:24.95\00:20:27.22
Then they also are very aware of
their strengths and weaknesses.
00:20:27.22\00:20:31.29
They have a sense
of humility about them.
00:20:31.29\00:20:33.80
They also know when to say no,
but at the same time they will
00:20:33.80\00:20:37.23
slow down to help others.
They will have an empathy for
00:20:37.23\00:20:40.77
others, so they'll even disrupt
their schedule to help others,
00:20:40.77\00:20:45.21
but not in everything.
Someone else might need help and
00:20:45.21\00:20:47.94
they realize they're
not the best person for it,
00:20:47.94\00:20:49.88
and they're going to say
no, I'm not going to do that.
00:20:49.88\00:20:52.08
When they do have a fall,
due to a distorted thought
00:20:52.08\00:20:55.12
or due to something
else, they actually take
00:20:55.12\00:20:57.72
responsibility for
it, and they get back up,
00:20:57.72\00:21:00.06
instead of minimizing
the importance of that fall.
00:21:00.06\00:21:05.46
And they are
committed to improving.
00:21:05.46\00:21:09.16
If you have all of those things,
with intelligence you have the
00:21:09.16\00:21:11.40
ability to be a great leader.
So often emotionally intelligent
00:21:11.40\00:21:14.57
people become very
transformative in their
00:21:14.57\00:21:16.97
environment, and they can
be a great leader for God.
00:21:16.97\00:21:20.61
JB: Help me to understand how we
bring this into our relationship
00:21:20.61\00:21:25.41
with God, how possessing these
characteristics can help me to
00:21:25.41\00:21:30.15
thrive as a believer and
be a successful Christian.
00:21:30.15\00:21:34.32
NN: Well, it gets down to the
sentence of the Apostle Paul,
00:21:34.32\00:21:38.93
who was also very
emotionally intelligent.
00:21:38.93\00:21:41.90
Be transformed by the
renewing of your mind.
00:21:41.90\00:21:45.63
If we're not willing to have our
minds renewed, we're not going
00:21:45.63\00:21:48.70
to be able to be transformed
into comprehensive emotionally
00:21:48.70\00:21:51.91
intelligent people. JB:
I think it's important for
00:21:51.91\00:21:54.74
us to understand, and this
is where the Word of God becomes
00:21:54.74\00:21:57.81
so very powerful.
Anybody can achieve this,
00:21:57.81\00:22:03.28
with God's help.
NN: That's right.
00:22:03.28\00:22:05.39
JB: Okay. Now,
somehow an individual's got
00:22:05.39\00:22:08.22
to learn to go to God with their
issues and their problems and
00:22:08.22\00:22:10.79
say, "God, help
me through this."
00:22:10.79\00:22:13.16
NN: Yes. JB: Not
everybody's able to come
00:22:13.16\00:22:16.36
back from where they are
and say, God can help me.
00:22:16.36\00:22:19.20
It's remarkable that even
believers get to the place.
00:22:19.20\00:22:22.07
I spoke with an individual very
recently, and it was over for
00:22:22.07\00:22:24.97
this individual,
because a mistake had been made,
00:22:24.97\00:22:28.21
and God can't help me now.
Which is contrary to everything
00:22:28.21\00:22:31.55
you read in the
Bible. NN: That's right.
00:22:31.55\00:22:33.48
JB: God even said to Israel,
if you mess up, the consequences
00:22:33.48\00:22:36.82
are going to be
so terrible for you.
00:22:36.82\00:22:38.85
However, if you
repent, I'll take you back.
00:22:38.85\00:22:40.56
NN: Exactly. JB: And
I'd like your thoughts
00:22:40.56\00:22:43.32
on this. Perhaps
it's really important in
00:22:43.32\00:22:45.23
terms of emotional intelligence
to have a clear understanding
00:22:45.23\00:22:49.03
of what God is
like. NN: Absolutely.
00:22:49.03\00:22:52.07
JB: Have you seen in individuals
who have a distorted picture of
00:22:52.07\00:22:55.10
God that it negatively
affects them emotionally,
00:22:55.10\00:22:58.67
and if you have,
how? NN: Oh, absolutely.
00:22:58.67\00:23:01.51
I mean, almost to a
person, those that come for our
00:23:01.51\00:23:06.48
treatment-resistant depression
and anxiety program have
00:23:06.48\00:23:10.19
significant issues with God.
They think God has abandoned
00:23:10.19\00:23:13.49
them, or they
maybe think, you know,
00:23:13.49\00:23:16.36
he doesn't exist anymore,
because if he did, why isn't he
00:23:16.36\00:23:18.46
helping them? And they
have significant issues
00:23:18.46\00:23:21.76
with God. And it's often due to
00:23:21.76\00:23:23.93
misunderstanding God.
And that's why part of our
00:23:23.93\00:23:27.74
program that we utilize for
mental health is a spiritual
00:23:27.74\00:23:32.44
congruence therapist, you know,
someone who helps them to think
00:23:32.44\00:23:36.64
along a logical pathway.
We don't necessarily change
00:23:36.64\00:23:42.28
their world view there, but we
want them to be able to think in
00:23:42.28\00:23:45.92
a practical way where God
can influence them in a positive
00:23:45.92\00:23:50.29
way, and that
requires some consistency
00:23:50.29\00:23:52.89
and belief in thought.
And the transformation that
00:23:52.89\00:23:55.63
takes place--these people in ten
days become great advocates of
00:23:55.63\00:24:02.14
obeying as well
as serving the Lord,
00:24:02.14\00:24:04.54
because they see him from a
whole different perspective now.
00:24:04.54\00:24:07.61
And now he's able
to influence them.
00:24:07.61\00:24:09.58
The reason why he wasn't able to
influence them wasn't because of
00:24:09.58\00:24:11.51
God; it was because of them.
JB: They weren't thinking right
00:24:11.51\00:24:13.95
about God. NN:
That's right, yes.
00:24:13.95\00:24:15.72
JB: So if you were to list
two, three, four, five points,
00:24:15.72\00:24:18.59
here's how a
person ought to view God
00:24:18.59\00:24:21.02
in an emotionally healthy
way, you would want them to know
00:24:21.02\00:24:23.76
that God is, or God
does, or God is about, what?
00:24:23.76\00:24:27.56
NN: Well, God is about
love, self-sacrificing love.
00:24:27.56\00:24:32.07
The Bible says God is agape,
and so having that empathy,
00:24:32.07\00:24:37.17
self-sacrificing
love for all of us.
00:24:37.17\00:24:40.08
Secondly, God is a God of
truth, accuracy in thought.
00:24:40.08\00:24:44.01
And then thirdly,
God is a God of freedom.
00:24:44.01\00:24:47.52
When we have emotional
intelligence, we are actually
00:24:47.52\00:24:50.59
free to have
complete self-control.
00:24:50.59\00:24:54.09
The Lord wants us to be in
control of ourselves and to have
00:24:54.09\00:24:57.43
a balanced mind. And
that means we're not a slave
00:24:57.43\00:25:00.36
to any habit. That
means we're also not
00:25:00.36\00:25:02.83
coercive to others. We
want to influence others,
00:25:02.83\00:25:05.33
but not control others.
And we become empathetic
00:25:05.33\00:25:08.60
individuals who can help
others think truthfully as well.
00:25:08.60\00:25:12.31
JB: So for the person who
continues to lose his or her
00:25:12.31\00:25:15.08
temper, the person who
is governed by very sensual,
00:25:15.08\00:25:19.98
over-sensual way of thinking,
somebody who's exceedingly
00:25:19.98\00:25:23.39
jealous, someone who's very,
very greedy, that person can
00:25:23.39\00:25:27.39
learn to, with God's help,
control his or her emotions,
00:25:27.39\00:25:32.83
be a far more happy
and productive person,
00:25:32.83\00:25:35.93
and a Christian
thriving under the love of God.
00:25:35.93\00:25:39.50
NN: Yes. Absolutely they can be
00:25:39.50\00:25:41.57
transformed.
Nebuchadnezzar himself was
00:25:41.57\00:25:45.27
transformed, but it required a
process and, you know, a change
00:25:45.27\00:25:49.84
in his diet, and a change
in, you know, his activity.
00:25:49.84\00:25:53.58
And then a
change in his thoughts.
00:25:53.58\00:25:55.22
So if we are
willing to, as individuals,
00:25:55.22\00:25:58.19
with all of those problems,
submit ourselves to a...
00:25:58.19\00:26:02.72
to God's process, we can
be completely transformed.
00:26:02.72\00:26:08.00
JB: This is part
of what Jesus said.
00:26:08.00\00:26:09.80
They asked and they tried
to trick him, what's the great
00:26:09.80\00:26:11.80
commandment and the law?
Jesus said, first one, love the
00:26:11.80\00:26:16.10
Lord your God with ALL your
heart, soul, mind and strength.
00:26:16.10\00:26:19.97
It seems that if we want God to
really transform us and make us
00:26:19.97\00:26:23.01
what we can be, we've got to be
prepared to be all in with God
00:26:23.01\00:26:26.45
and let him have
everything that we are.
00:26:26.45\00:26:28.08
NN: Exactly. JB: And
when we're all in with
00:26:28.08\00:26:30.25
God, that's when we enjoy
not only the blessing of God,
00:26:30.25\00:26:33.76
but the peace that passes all
understanding, the peace that
00:26:33.76\00:26:38.56
comes from allowing God to work
in us to control our emotions.
00:26:38.56\00:26:42.60
¤ [Musical Interlude]
00:26:44.37\00:26:46.90
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00:26:53.84\00:26:57.78
will walk you
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00:26:57.78\00:26:59.45
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00:26:59.45\00:27:02.75
can be yours. Just call
00:27:02.75\00:27:05.19
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00:27:43.43\00:27:51.53
JB: Dr. Nedley, again
thank you so very much for
00:27:51.53\00:27:53.67
joining us today. This has been
00:27:53.67\00:27:54.97
a wonderful
discussion. NN: Thank you.
00:27:54.97\00:27:56.87
JB: I've been blessed.
We've all been blessed.
00:27:56.87\00:27:58.77
Thanks so much. NN: Thank you.
00:27:58.77\00:28:00.48
JB: We'll go to
God and pray now.
00:28:00.48\00:28:02.04
Would you join me in praying?
We'll thank him for his goodness
00:28:02.04\00:28:04.21
and pray, and pray expecting
God to control our emotions.
00:28:04.21\00:28:09.45
¤ [Tender melody] Our
Father in Heaven, we thank
00:28:09.45\00:28:11.99
you so very much that God is
love, you are love, that God is
00:28:11.99\00:28:15.22
good and ready to forgive,
that God is able to transform
00:28:15.22\00:28:20.30
us by the renewing of
our mind. You are good.
00:28:20.30\00:28:23.10
We thank you for Jesus, who died
for us, and your Holy Spirit;
00:28:23.10\00:28:27.37
it brings to us
your very presence.
00:28:27.37\00:28:29.37
Lord, with your presence we
don't have to be controlled by
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our emotions, but we know that,
yielded to you, you can bring
00:28:33.44\00:28:39.01
our emotions to where they
need to be, liberate us from the
00:28:39.01\00:28:43.65
thralldom of self-centeredness,
and enable us to live under the
00:28:43.65\00:28:48.29
shadow of your wings. We
look forward to the day when
00:28:48.29\00:28:51.03
we'll be with you
forever in your very presence.
00:28:51.03\00:28:54.13
Let that day come soon.
And until then, keep us,
00:28:54.13\00:28:57.57
in Jesus' name we pray, Amen.
00:28:57.57\00:29:00.20
NN: Amen. ¤ [Music rings out]
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¤ [Theme Music] JB:
Thank you for having joined
00:29:19.69\00:29:22.29
me today. I'm
looking forward to seeing
00:29:22.29\00:29:24.06
you again next time.
Until then, remember,
00:29:24.06\00:29:27.73
It Is Written:
Man shall not live
00:29:27.73\00:29:30.57
by bread alone, but by
every word that proceeds
00:29:30.57\00:29:34.24
from the mouth of God.
¤ [Theme music continues]
00:29:34.24\00:30:01.90