>: It has stood
the test of time.
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God's book, the Bible.
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Still relevant in
today's complex world.
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It Is Written,
sharing hope around the globe.
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JB: This is It Is Written.
Thanks for joining me today.
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I'm John Bradshaw. Today
a subject that touches the
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life of every
breathing person on the planet.
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We've been made a certain way by
a creative God who's given us a
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mind with which to
think, and he's made us
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to be emotional beings. And
you know that there are some
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people who just don't seem to be
able to control their emotions.
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Or perhaps, perhaps I'm
talking about you and me.
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There are times when our
emotions just seem to get the
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better of us. So how can we be
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emotionally intelligent?
There's somebody who's going
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to guide our thinking on this
subject; that's Dr. Neil Nedley.
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He's the president of
Nedley Health Solutions.
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Dr. Nedley, thanks
for joining me today.
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NN: Thank you.
Great being here, John.
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JB: How do we
analyze our thoughts?
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NN: Well, we have to actually
put them into our frontal lobe
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to analyze them. In
other words, when we feel
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emotional some way, we have to
be aware that that's happening.
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Then we need to look at the
belief or the thought that is
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causing us to have the emotional
consequence, which then has
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a behavioral consequence.
We call it the ABCs of
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emotional intelligence.
The A is the activating event,
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or being aware.
The B is the belief.
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And the C is the consequence.
And a lot of people think it
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just goes from A to C.
Now, we have a role to play
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in regard to our emotions,
and that's our belief about
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the A that brings about
the emotional consequence.
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JB: So when things happen, it's
wise that we become or that we
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choose to be the type of
person that says, wait a minute,
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what's really going on here,
and how should I be thinking?
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NN: Exactly. JB:
Right, we don't do that when
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suddenly we
just react in a rage.
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NN: That's right.
JB: Lose our temper,
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fly off the handle. NN: Exactly.
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JB: When people
aren't thinking straight,
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their thoughts are distorted.
What are common distorted
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thoughts? NN:
Well, one of them is
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magnification and minimization.
We have a tendency to major in
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minors and minor in majors.
And an example would be Saul.
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When Samuel came to him and told
him about the problems of why
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he hadn't done all
of the instructions,
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he minimized it, acted like
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it wasn't a big deal
at all, explained it away.
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JB: This is when Samuel said,
look I asked you to wipe out
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everybody. Why didn't you do it?
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Oh, it's not such a big problem.
We brought those animals to
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sacrifice to God, so
we're okay. NN: Yeah, exactly.
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JB: It wasn't okay.
NN: And then he only became
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concerned when the consequences
came down for that action,
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and we know God is
the righteous judge,
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so it was appropriate
consequences, and he began to
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dwell on the
unfairness of that punishment.
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Really, it all started as a
result of magnification of self.
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There's a book that
you might want to pick up.
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We mentioned this in our
book "The Lost Art of Thinking,"
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but there's another psychologist
who picked it up, called
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"What Your
Counselor Never Told You:
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The Seven Sins That
Lead to Mental Illness."
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And the first sin that
he mentions that leads to
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mental illness
is the sin of pride.
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That's when we
magnify ourselves.
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Then he gives you a little
test to see whether you might
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have it: trying to be
noticed, craving attention,
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itching for compliments,
needing to be important,
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detesting the idea of
being submissive, flaunting your
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individual rights,
thinking you have excellences
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you don't have.
Those are all indicators of
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pride, and when an inflated
sense of self comes about,
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you will then eventually have
wounded pride, and then you're
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going to end up with feelings
of worthlessness, which is also
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the other side of the equation.
So it always starts out with too
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much pride, before we get
to the very poor self-esteem,
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poor self-worth, feelings
of worthlessness, which then,
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of course, results in severe
depression, suicidal thoughts.
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JB: We see how fundamental this
is just by thinking about that
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common expression,
"What was he thinking?"
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NN: Exactly. Yes, exactly.
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JB: And if only the individual
had stopped to think--people in
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a rage grab a gun, or so
on--in and at the same time
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tyrants and despots. NN: Yes.
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JB: They get to where they get
because of this very distorted
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thinking, not looking at things
really rationally or accurately.
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NN: Right. And
they tend to be very
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egotistical individuals.
In contrast, we have the life
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of Christ. One of
the best biographies
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states him this
way: "He was never elated
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by applause, nor dejected
by censure or disappointment."
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Among the greatest opposition
and the most cruel treatment
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he was still of good
courage. Why was that the case?
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Because he was
never elated by applause;
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he never allowed himself
to have this egotistical self
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as being the rule.
And that's a key element
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of having emotional
intelligence--to know what our
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weaknesses are, to be humble,
to give deference to others.
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That's one of the things
that is important in emotional
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intelligence, and
certainly not magnifying self.
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JB: Now, you look at another
person in the Bible, Solomon.
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Now, it seems almost that
Solomon might have suffered
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from depression. NN: Oh, He did.
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JB: Well, talking about
distortions, what was his big
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distortion in his thinking?
NN: Emotional reasoning.
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It was different from Saul's.
Emotional reasoning leads
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people to seek things
that cause others pleasure.
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And so they want to be happy,
and actually more pleasure
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leads to less
pleasure. JB: How's that?
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NN: Solomon tells his
story in Ecclesiastes.
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He says how he used alcohol,
I think opium was involved,
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so there was
alcohol, there were drugs,
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and then he said,
I didn't allow myself
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to not view anything. In
fact, anything that caused
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me pleasure I would go for.
So there was pornography, and
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then there was live pornography.
Those are all false ways of
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altering the way you feel.
The way of altering the way you
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feel is to actually
change your thoughts.
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But when you go for substances
or events to try to alter
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your feelings, first
you get a high from that,
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but then as you do it more,
you actually get less of a high,
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and in between times you
have severe distressing sense
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of deprivation, even
though there's nothing going
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wrong in your system.
Solomon had everything
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going right for him; he was the
wealthiest man on the planet,
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he had a lot of
things going right,
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but he ended up severely
depressed from actually going
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through frontal lobe
suppressing activities
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to try to get happiness.
JB: So many examples of people
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who seem to have it all,
but their lives are miserable
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because in their own
minds they don't have
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what's most important.
NN: Well, emotional reasoning
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goes something like this as
well, it will progress to this.
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First you seek pleasure in any
way that you can find it, and
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then you get to the point where
you're saying, "I feel like a
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dud; therefore I am a dud." I
feel overwhelmed and helpless;
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thus, my problems
are impossible to solve.
00:08:03.71\00:08:07.02
And so just because you
feel that way, you conclude that
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it has to be true. And
you know, feelings come and
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feelings go, and
feelings can be quite deceiving.
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JB: We'll talk more
about this in just a moment.
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Thinking straight, thinking
healthfully, so very, very
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important when it comes to a
person's relationship with God.
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We'll have more
in just a moment.
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¤ [Gentle Melody] ¤
>: "Every Word" is a
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one-minute, Bible-based daily
devotional presented by Pastor
00:08:30.44\00:08:33.44
John Bradshaw, and designed
especially for busy people
00:08:33.44\00:08:36.75
like you. Look for "Every Word"
00:08:36.75\00:08:39.15
on selected networks or watch it
online every day on our website,
00:08:39.15\00:08:42.58
ItIsWritten.com.
00:08:42.58\00:08:45.35
¤ [Rythmic Melody]  ¤
00:08:46.62\00:08:49.39
JB: Life often throws up
circumstances that provoke a
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person to lose their temper.
Now, I've often heard it said,
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well, you can't blame him,
or her, given the circumstances.
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But look at this;
it's Proverbs 16:32.
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The wise man wrote,
"He who is slow to anger
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is better than the mighty,
and he who rules his spirit
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than he who takes a
city." It's virtuous to control
00:09:11.31\00:09:14.52
your temper, not to lose
it. The Bible never recommends
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blowing up, giving
people a piece of your mind,
00:09:17.55\00:09:19.69
letting it rip. God's
grace is given to us so
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that we can be Christ-like.
And Jesus was a model of
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evenness every day of his life.
The Pharisees plagued his steps,
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he had Judas and Peter to deal
with, demon-possessed people,
00:09:30.33\00:09:33.37
and yet he never lost
it. Challenging, isn't it?
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But it's what Jesus can do in
your life, and he wants to do it
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today. I'm John Bradshaw for
00:09:40.54\00:09:42.24
It Is Written. Let's
live today by every word.
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JB: This is It Is
Written. I'm John Bradshaw.
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I'm glad you've
chosen to join me today.
00:09:49.62\00:09:52.42
What a blessing to
have Dr. Neil Nedley here.
00:09:52.42\00:09:54.56
We are discussing emotional
intelligence and how to think
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straight, thinking healthfully.
It's true, isn't it, that when
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we learn to think right,
and even when we learn to think
00:10:03.10\00:10:05.77
right about our thoughts,
we're going to do a whole
00:10:05.77\00:10:08.47
lot better emotionally
and spiritually as well.
00:10:08.47\00:10:10.87
NN: Correct. JB: We
see people in the Bible
00:10:10.87\00:10:13.74
who fought their way
into difficult situations.
00:10:13.74\00:10:17.71
I'm thinking
about Elijah. NN: Yes.
00:10:17.71\00:10:20.75
JB: You don't think about these
great Bible heroes as being
00:10:20.75\00:10:22.88
emotionally weak, or at least
momentarily messing up their
00:10:22.88\00:10:28.76
thinking processes,
but it seems he did.
00:10:28.76\00:10:30.96
NN: Elijah was different from
Saul and Solomon, which gives us
00:10:30.96\00:10:33.23
an example that people who have
depression, there's always a
00:10:33.23\00:10:36.43
different set of
causes that are there.
00:10:36.43\00:10:39.20
It's not always the same causes.
With Saul it was magnification
00:10:39.20\00:10:43.51
of self. With Solomon it was
00:10:43.51\00:10:46.17
emotional reasoning. And
Elijah was not a prideful
00:10:46.17\00:10:50.08
individual like Saul. He
didn't do things for the sake
00:10:50.08\00:10:53.48
of pleasure only
like Solomon did.
00:10:53.48\00:10:56.45
He was a very godly man, but he
ended up with severe depression.
00:10:56.45\00:11:01.32
If you remember the story,
God was trying to prepare him
00:11:01.32\00:11:04.66
for something great,
for transforming the nation.
00:11:04.66\00:11:07.96
And first there was no rain, and
then Elijah went to the brook
00:11:07.96\00:11:12.50
and was being fed by the ravens.
He wouldn't believe until the
00:11:12.50\00:11:15.74
brook dried up, and even then
he didn't leave until the Lord
00:11:15.74\00:11:18.07
told him to go to
Jezreel, Jezebel's home town.
00:11:18.07\00:11:21.08
Then he was put on a
plant-based, vegetarian diet,
00:11:21.08\00:11:24.25
trying to get him
even better ready.
00:11:24.25\00:11:26.15
But even then he wasn't ready
for Ahab until he proved that he
00:11:26.15\00:11:29.48
could live with an argumentative
woman successfully, who'd lashed
00:11:29.48\00:11:33.89
out at him when
things went wrong.
00:11:33.89\00:11:36.76
And when the Lord saw how
calmly he dealt with that woman,
00:11:36.76\00:11:39.43
he said, okay,
you're ready for Ahab.
00:11:39.43\00:11:41.50
And this tremendous event
occurred, the beginning of the
00:11:41.50\00:11:44.83
transformation of the nation,
and then Jezebel within 24 hours
00:11:44.83\00:11:48.40
threatens his life, and
Elijah takes off running
00:11:48.40\00:11:51.74
to save his life. JB:
And suddenly this man,
00:11:51.74\00:11:53.04
who'd seen God work
incredibly powerfully,
00:11:53.04\00:11:57.31
fire from heaven,
he's threatened by this
00:11:57.31\00:12:00.32
harridan, and off he goes
with his tail between his legs.
00:12:00.32\00:12:03.52
NN: Yeah. Of
course, he had reason to
00:12:03.52\00:12:05.15
fear, because she had feared
other prophets, you know, there,
00:12:05.15\00:12:07.59
so he had reason to fear.
But he didn't wait on God.
00:12:07.59\00:12:09.89
He went and started running,
and then 30 days later he asked
00:12:09.89\00:12:14.00
for the Lord to take his
life. He says, it's over with,
00:12:14.00\00:12:16.53
I'm depressed,
just take my life.
00:12:16.53\00:12:19.60
And really, it was about as
close to suicide as a godly man
00:12:19.60\00:12:22.44
would have. And
the Lord had to put him
00:12:22.44\00:12:24.81
through a program.
He had to, you know,
00:12:24.81\00:12:26.81
come and feed him
food. I think there was some
00:12:26.81\00:12:28.68
flaxseed there.
He had to put him on
00:12:28.68\00:12:30.61
an exercise program. He
actually had to get him out
00:12:30.61\00:12:32.75
into the light, out of the cave.
But what really helped Elijah
00:12:32.75\00:12:37.29
was the still small voice.
That was what we call cognitive
00:12:37.29\00:12:41.46
behavioral therapy, where
the Lord was coming to see what
00:12:41.46\00:12:44.39
thoughts were there, and to help
Elijah analyze his thoughts.
00:12:44.39\00:12:48.16
Elijah began to tell
what was on his mind.
00:12:48.16\00:12:50.83
He said, I'm the only one that
has not bowed the knee to Baal.
00:12:50.83\00:12:55.57
That's called
overgeneralization.
00:12:55.57\00:12:57.91
JB: That certainly was not
true. NN: He should have said,
00:12:57.91\00:13:00.51
I'm the only one
I know of, maybe.
00:13:00.51\00:13:02.01
JB: Right. NN: But
instead, he just knew he
00:13:02.01\00:13:04.01
was the only one. And
the Lord let him get by with
00:13:04.01\00:13:07.12
that the first time, but the
second time he had to stop him,
00:13:07.12\00:13:09.68
and he said,
Elijah, you're wrong;
00:13:09.68\00:13:11.75
you're not only wrong,
you're wrong by a factor of
00:13:11.75\00:13:14.09
seven thousand. JB:
Yeah, now let me ask you
00:13:14.09\00:13:16.36
this question, because we're
talking about a prophet of God,
00:13:16.36\00:13:20.70
a man who was
taken to heaven. NN: Yes.
00:13:20.70\00:13:25.83
JB: ...without seeing death.
And he suffered from depression.
00:13:25.83\00:13:29.47
NN: Yes. It tells
you the sympathy that
00:13:29.47\00:13:31.51
the Lord has for
people in depression.
00:13:31.51\00:13:33.71
JB: It's okay to be
depressed, isn't it?
00:13:33.71\00:13:35.64
You understand what I
mean. NN: Oh, absolutely.
00:13:35.64\00:13:37.45
It's okay to be
depressed. But it's not okay
00:13:37.45\00:13:40.85
to stay depressed. JB: No, no.
00:13:40.85\00:13:42.78
NN: And if you just ignore
it, and try to protect it,
00:13:42.78\00:13:48.49
without getting the
actual help you need,
00:13:48.49\00:13:51.59
it can be a problem.
JB: I want to clarify this.
00:13:51.59\00:13:54.00
It is acceptable for a believer
in God to, to be suffering
00:13:54.00\00:13:59.63
from depression. I
don't mean wallow in it,
00:13:59.63\00:14:01.50
but hey, it's okay. NN:
That's right, Elijah had it.
00:14:01.50\00:14:04.81
JB: Yeah, there you
go. So there's the proof
00:14:04.81\00:14:06.01
right there. NN: Yeah.
00:14:06.01\00:14:08.08
JB: So we want to learn
to think straight and to be
00:14:08.08\00:14:12.88
emotionally intelligent. I
have a feeling that emotional
00:14:12.88\00:14:16.72
intelligence has more to do
with just thoughts, more to do
00:14:16.72\00:14:20.56
with--there's more to it
than just thinking straight.
00:14:20.56\00:14:23.19
Perhaps in a
moment we'll explore that.
00:14:23.19\00:14:24.96
NN: Good JB:
Emotional intelligence.
00:14:24.96\00:14:28.46
Learning to think in such a
way that you thrive emotionally,
00:14:28.46\00:14:32.83
and that you can have a
strong relationship with God.
00:14:32.83\00:14:36.00
So often people who get
into this "nobody loves me,
00:14:36.00\00:14:39.47
I have no value," they
come to the place where
00:14:39.47\00:14:42.64
"not even God can
love me and help me."
00:14:42.64\00:14:44.91
And you don't want to be
there. More in just a moment.
00:14:44.91\00:14:47.88
¤ [Thoughful Melody]  ¤
JB: Planning for your financial
00:14:48.55\00:14:51.72
future is a vital aspect
of Christian stewardship.
00:14:51.72\00:14:54.92
For this reason, It Is Written
is pleased to offer free planned
00:14:54.92\00:14:57.96
giving and estate services.
For information on how we can
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help you, please
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00:15:01.06\00:15:06.00
Call today, or visit our special
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00:15:06.00\00:15:13.34
JB: This is It Is
Written. I'm John Bradshaw.
00:15:14.88\00:15:17.25
Thanks for
joining me today. Today,
00:15:17.25\00:15:20.15
controlling your emotions.
Dr. Nedley, a moment ago we
00:15:20.15\00:15:23.39
talked about really
a surprising figure,
00:15:23.39\00:15:26.05
the great Elijah,
taken by God to heaven
00:15:26.05\00:15:29.92
in a chariot of fire,
and yet emotionally he was
00:15:29.92\00:15:34.10
a wreck there
for a while. NN: Yes.
00:15:34.10\00:15:36.10
JB: But God put Elijah on a
program that brought him back to
00:15:36.10\00:15:39.27
emotional health. NN: Yes.
00:15:39.27\00:15:41.80
JB: So we want to be the
kind of person who's emotionally
00:15:41.80\00:15:43.41
healthy. What was
that program that God
00:15:43.41\00:15:44.87
put Elijah on? NN:
It was good nutrition,
00:15:44.87\00:15:48.11
it was exercise,
it was light therapy,
00:15:48.11\00:15:51.71
and it was helping him
to analyze his thoughts and
00:15:51.71\00:15:56.52
correct his distorted
thoughts. After that was done,
00:15:56.52\00:16:00.12
it still wasn't complete until
Elijah actually carried out the
00:16:00.12\00:16:05.63
instructions of God in areas
that he did not want to do.
00:16:05.63\00:16:11.27
JB: Hmm, that's interesting.
Hey, first I want to ask you,
00:16:11.27\00:16:13.60
light therapy. What's that?
00:16:13.60\00:16:15.77
NN: We actually need bright
light for our brains to function
00:16:15.77\00:16:18.74
good every day.
And, you know, when we're
00:16:18.74\00:16:21.31
depressed, we have a tendency to
get into a cave and, you know,
00:16:21.31\00:16:23.98
just enclose ourselves in.
And that's why God sent the
00:16:23.98\00:16:28.55
earthquake and the
storm, to try to get Elijah
00:16:28.55\00:16:31.62
out of that
cave. He sent a fire.
00:16:31.62\00:16:33.89
He kept trying to get
him out into the light.
00:16:33.89\00:16:35.99
Finally, after he got him
out into the light for a while,
00:16:35.99\00:16:38.79
that's when the still small
voice came, which was helping
00:16:38.79\00:16:42.96
him to get rid of
his distorted thought.
00:16:42.96\00:16:44.90
JB: Hey, isn't that interesting,
that it was key for Elijah to
00:16:44.90\00:16:47.04
start doing the things
that God asked him to do?
00:16:47.04\00:16:49.70
NN: Yes...yes. JB:
Why is that important?
00:16:49.70\00:16:52.67
NN: Because God always wants us
to do things that are best for
00:16:52.67\00:16:56.08
us and best for others.
JB: I wonder, too, if when a
00:16:56.08\00:16:59.88
person knows they're not doing
God's will they're wracked by
00:16:59.88\00:17:02.98
guilt and can't be
healthy emotionally.
00:17:02.98\00:17:05.79
Is that part of it? NN:
Oh, it can very well be part
00:17:05.79\00:17:08.72
of it. I mean,
that's why Jonah ended
00:17:08.72\00:17:10.23
up, you know, very depressed
in the situation that he was in,
00:17:10.23\00:17:14.56
and others as well. If
we are convicted that the
00:17:14.56\00:17:16.93
Lord wants us to go this way,
and the evidence is in his Word
00:17:16.93\00:17:20.57
to go that way,
but we go another way,
00:17:20.57\00:17:23.10
that's self-sabotage. JB:
Okay, now, what's the path
00:17:23.10\00:17:26.11
to emotional wellness,
the path to controlling
00:17:26.11\00:17:30.81
one's emotions?
Perhaps what we might say is,
00:17:30.81\00:17:34.42
what are the characteristics
of somebody who's got it
00:17:34.42\00:17:36.42
figured out?
Because we want to be
00:17:36.42\00:17:38.35
those people. NN: Sure.
00:17:38.35\00:17:39.69
Yeah, characteristics of people
who do have it figured out is
00:17:39.69\00:17:42.86
they're actually going
to be curious about people
00:17:42.86\00:17:45.03
they don't know.
They're actually going to be
00:17:45.03\00:17:47.76
well liked by most
people-- not by everybody,
00:17:47.76\00:17:50.77
we're not asking anyone
to be liked by everybody.
00:17:50.77\00:17:52.90
You can't be liked by everybody
a hundred percent of the time.
00:17:52.90\00:17:55.60
JB: Curious about
people you don't know?
00:17:55.60\00:17:57.17
Why is that important?
NN: Well, remember, part of
00:17:57.17\00:18:00.44
emotional intelligence
is managing relationships
00:18:00.44\00:18:03.14
with others. If
you're not curious about
00:18:03.14\00:18:05.41
people you don't know and want
to see what makes them tick and
00:18:05.41\00:18:09.22
to help get to know
them, that's an issue.
00:18:09.22\00:18:11.89
That's why you need to
have your thoughts corrected.
00:18:11.89\00:18:13.62
We are social beings. And
actually, when we get into
00:18:13.62\00:18:17.03
the social isolation
mode, that's going to hurt us,
00:18:17.03\00:18:20.23
as well as hurt others. So
that's an important element.
00:18:20.23\00:18:23.33
If you're on an airplane, are
you going to talk to the person
00:18:23.33\00:18:25.53
next to you and see why
they're there, and try to get to
00:18:25.53\00:18:28.17
know them some?
Emotionally intelligent people
00:18:28.17\00:18:30.21
do that. Then they
also are very aware of
00:18:30.21\00:18:33.84
their strengths and weaknesses.
They have a sense of humility
00:18:33.84\00:18:36.75
about them. They
also know when to say no,
00:18:36.75\00:18:40.28
but at the same time they
will slow down to help others.
00:18:40.28\00:18:43.59
They will have an empathy for
others, so they'll even disrupt
00:18:43.59\00:18:46.72
their schedule to help
others, but not in everything.
00:18:46.72\00:18:50.93
Someone else might need help
and they realize they're not the
00:18:50.93\00:18:53.19
best person for it, and
they're going to say no,
00:18:53.19\00:18:55.00
I'm not going to do
that. When they do have a fall,
00:18:55.00\00:18:58.07
due to a distorted thought
or due to something else,
00:18:58.07\00:19:00.50
they actually take
responsibility for it,
00:19:00.50\00:19:03.34
and they get back
up, instead of minimizing
00:19:03.34\00:19:06.81
the importance of that
fall. And they are committed to
00:19:06.81\00:19:11.75
improving. If you
have all of those things,
00:19:11.75\00:19:14.55
with intelligence you have the
ability to be a great leader.
00:19:14.55\00:19:17.05
So often emotionally
intelligent people become very
00:19:17.05\00:19:19.99
transformative in their
environment, and they can be
00:19:19.99\00:19:23.39
a great leader for God. JB:
Help me to understand how we
00:19:23.39\00:19:28.10
bring this into our relationship
with God, how possessing these
00:19:28.10\00:19:32.17
characteristics can help me
to thrive as a believer and be a
00:19:32.17\00:19:36.40
successful Christian.
NN: Well, it gets down to the
00:19:36.40\00:19:41.11
sentence of the Apostle Paul,
who was also very emotionally
00:19:41.11\00:19:44.58
intelligent. Be transformed
00:19:44.58\00:19:47.52
by the renewing of your mind.
If we're not willing to have our
00:19:47.52\00:19:51.35
minds renewed, we're not going
to be able to be transformed
00:19:51.35\00:19:54.56
into comprehensive
emotionally intelligent people.
00:19:54.56\00:19:58.26
JB: I think it's important for
us to understand, and this is
00:19:58.26\00:20:00.60
where the Word of God
becomes so very powerful.
00:20:00.60\00:20:04.63
Anybody can achieve
this, with God's help.
00:20:04.63\00:20:08.74
NN: That's right. JB: Okay.
00:20:08.74\00:20:10.74
Now, somehow an individual's got
to learn to go to God with their
00:20:10.74\00:20:13.78
issues and their
problems and say, "God, help me
00:20:13.78\00:20:16.41
through this." NN: Yes.
00:20:16.41\00:20:17.95
JB: Not everybody's able to come
back from where they are and
00:20:17.95\00:20:21.78
say, God can help me.
It's remarkable that even
00:20:21.78\00:20:24.99
believers get to the place.
I spoke with an individual very
00:20:24.99\00:20:27.76
recently, and it was over
for this individual, because a
00:20:27.76\00:20:31.33
mistake had been made,
and God can't help me now.
00:20:31.33\00:20:33.86
Which is contrary to everything
you read in the Bible.
00:20:33.86\00:20:36.93
NN: That's right. JB:
God even said to Israel,
00:20:36.93\00:20:39.37
if you mess up, the consequences
are going to be so terrible
00:20:39.37\00:20:42.47
for you. However, if you repent,
00:20:42.47\00:20:43.97
I'll take you back. NN: Exactly.
00:20:43.97\00:20:46.21
JB: And I'd like
your thoughts on this.
00:20:46.21\00:20:48.04
Perhaps it's really important in
terms of emotional intelligence
00:20:48.04\00:20:51.31
to have a clear understanding
of what God is like.
00:20:51.31\00:20:55.05
NN: Absolutely. JB:
Have you seen in individuals
00:20:55.05\00:20:57.59
who have a distorted picture of
God that it negatively affects
00:20:57.59\00:21:01.52
them emotionally,
and if you have, how?
00:21:01.52\00:21:04.03
NN: Oh, absolutely. I
mean, almost to a person,
00:21:04.03\00:21:09.13
those that come for our
treatment-resistant depression
00:21:09.13\00:21:12.50
and anxiety program have
significant issues with God.
00:21:12.50\00:21:16.24
They think God has abandoned
them, or they maybe think,
00:21:16.24\00:21:19.74
you know, he
doesn't exist anymore,
00:21:19.74\00:21:21.61
because if he did,
why isn't he helping them?
00:21:21.61\00:21:24.25
And they have
significant issues with God.
00:21:24.25\00:21:26.85
And it's often due
to misunderstanding God.
00:21:26.85\00:21:30.79
And that's why part of our
program that we utilize for
00:21:30.79\00:21:33.99
mental health is a spiritual
congruence therapist, you know,
00:21:33.99\00:21:38.49
someone who helps them to
think along a logical pathway.
00:21:38.49\00:21:44.60
We don't necessarily change
their world view there, but we
00:21:44.60\00:21:48.30
want them to be able to think
in a practical way where God can
00:21:48.30\00:21:52.84
influence them in a
positive way, and that requires
00:21:52.84\00:21:55.64
some consistency
and belief in thought.
00:21:55.64\00:21:58.71
And the transformation that
takes place--these people in ten
00:21:58.71\00:22:01.38
days become great
advocates of obeying as well as
00:22:01.38\00:22:07.72
serving the Lord,
because they see him from a
00:22:07.72\00:22:09.86
whole different perspective now.
And now he's able to influence
00:22:09.86\00:22:13.19
them. The reason
why he wasn't able to
00:22:13.19\00:22:14.73
influence them wasn't because
of God; it was because of them.
00:22:14.73\00:22:17.23
JB: They weren't
thinking right about God.
00:22:17.23\00:22:18.80
NN: That's right, yes. JB:
So if you were to list two,
00:22:18.80\00:22:21.14
three, four, five
points, here's how a person
00:22:21.14\00:22:23.47
ought to view God in an
emotionally healthy way,
00:22:23.47\00:22:27.04
you would want them to
know that God is, or God does,
00:22:27.04\00:22:29.58
or God is about, what?
NN: Well, God is about love,
00:22:29.58\00:22:34.55
self-sacrificing love.
The Bible says God is agape,
00:22:34.55\00:22:38.99
and so having that
empathy, self-sacrificing love
00:22:38.99\00:22:43.02
for all of us.
Secondly, God is a God of truth,
00:22:43.02\00:22:46.66
accuracy in
thought. And then thirdly,
00:22:46.66\00:22:49.53
God is a God of
freedom. When we have emotional
00:22:49.53\00:22:52.93
intelligence, we are
actually free to have complete
00:22:52.93\00:22:56.91
self-control. The
Lord wants us to be in
00:22:56.91\00:23:00.38
control of ourselves
and to have a balanced mind.
00:23:00.38\00:23:03.11
And that means we're
not a slave to any habit.
00:23:03.11\00:23:06.05
That means we're also
not coercive to others.
00:23:06.05\00:23:08.25
We want to influence
others, but not control others.
00:23:08.25\00:23:10.95
And we become empathetic
individuals who can help others
00:23:10.95\00:23:14.36
think truthfully as
well. JB: So for the person who
00:23:14.36\00:23:17.59
continues to lose his or
her temper, the person who is
00:23:17.59\00:23:21.60
governed by very sensual,
over-sensual way of thinking,
00:23:21.60\00:23:26.57
somebody who's exceedingly
jealous, someone who's very,
00:23:26.57\00:23:29.07
very greedy, that person
can learn to, with God's help,
00:23:29.07\00:23:34.81
control his or her
emotions, be a far more happy
00:23:34.81\00:23:38.71
and productive
person, and a Christian
00:23:38.71\00:23:40.82
thriving under the
love of God. NN: Yes.
00:23:40.82\00:23:44.39
Absolutely they
can be transformed.
00:23:44.39\00:23:47.16
Nebuchadnezzar himself was
transformed, but it required a
00:23:47.16\00:23:51.36
process and, you know, a change
in his diet, and a change in,
00:23:51.36\00:23:56.00
you know, his
activity. And then a change
00:23:56.00\00:23:58.47
in his thoughts. So
if we are willing to,
00:23:58.47\00:24:01.57
as individuals, with
all of those problems,
00:24:01.57\00:24:03.71
submit ourselves to a...
to God's process, we can be
00:24:03.71\00:24:09.81
completely transformed.
JB: This is part of what
00:24:09.81\00:24:13.18
Jesus said. They
asked and they tried to
00:24:13.18\00:24:15.12
trick him, what's the
great commandment and the law?
00:24:15.12\00:24:16.82
Jesus said, first one, love
the Lord your God with ALL your
00:24:16.82\00:24:22.32
heart, soul, mind and strength.
It seems that if we want God to
00:24:22.32\00:24:25.63
really transform us and make us
what we can be, we've got to be
00:24:25.63\00:24:28.80
prepared to be all in with God
and let him have everything that
00:24:28.80\00:24:31.50
we are. NN: Exactly.
00:24:31.50\00:24:33.23
JB: And when we're all in with
God, that's when we enjoy not
00:24:33.23\00:24:36.54
only the blessing of God,
but the peace that passes all
00:24:36.54\00:24:40.38
understanding, the peace that
comes from allowing God to work
00:24:40.38\00:24:44.15
in us to control our emotions.
00:24:44.15\00:24:46.82
¤ [Musical Interlude]  ¤
00:24:48.58\00:24:51.12
JB: If you could just go back in
time and do things differently.
00:24:58.06\00:25:02.53
Perhaps you've
struggled with regret,
00:25:02.53\00:25:04.63
the added weight of
guilt. While there's no way
00:25:04.63\00:25:06.94
to undo the past, God
offers us a forgiveness
00:25:06.94\00:25:09.37
so complete that it
comes with the process
00:25:09.37\00:25:12.37
of a life that will never
end. Sound too good to be true?
00:25:12.37\00:25:16.38
Well, see what the
Bible says. Our booklet
00:25:16.38\00:25:18.71
"Hope for a Planet in
Crisis" will walk you through
00:25:18.71\00:25:21.68
the Bible's teachings about sin
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00:25:21.68\00:25:25.02
a new start can be yours.
Just call 800-253-3000 and
00:25:25.02\00:25:31.09
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Or write to It Is
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00:26:07.30\00:26:14.30
JB: Dr. Nedley, again
thank you so very much for
00:26:16.81\00:26:19.94
joining us today. This has been
00:26:19.94\00:26:21.24
a wonderful
discussion. NN: Thank you.
00:26:21.24\00:26:23.14
JB: I've been blessed.
We've all been blessed.
00:26:23.14\00:26:25.05
Thanks so much. NN: Thank you.
00:26:25.05\00:26:26.68
JB: We'll go to
God and pray now.
00:26:26.68\00:26:28.25
Would you join me in praying?
We'll thank him for his goodness
00:26:28.25\00:26:30.42
and pray, and pray expecting
God to control our emotions.
00:26:30.42\00:26:35.66
¤ [Tender melody] ¤ Our
Father in Heaven, we thank
00:26:35.66\00:26:38.19
you so very much that God is
love, you are love, that God is
00:26:38.19\00:26:41.40
good and ready to forgive,
that God is able to transform
00:26:41.40\00:26:46.47
us by the renewing of
our mind. You are good.
00:26:46.47\00:26:49.30
We thank you for Jesus, who died
for us, and your Holy Spirit;
00:26:49.30\00:26:53.58
it brings to us
your very presence.
00:26:53.58\00:26:55.58
Lord, with your presence we
don't have to be controlled by
00:26:55.58\00:26:59.71
our emotions, but we know that,
yielded to you, you can bring
00:26:59.71\00:27:05.29
our emotions to where they
need to be, liberate us from the
00:27:05.29\00:27:09.92
thralldom of self-centeredness,
and enable us to live under the
00:27:09.92\00:27:14.56
shadow of your wings. We
look forward to the day when
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we'll be with you
forever in your very presence.
00:27:17.27\00:27:20.40
Let that day come soon.
And until then, keep us,
00:27:20.40\00:27:23.84
in Jesus' name we pray, Amen.
00:27:23.84\00:27:26.41
NN: Amen. ¤ [Music rings out]  ¤
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¤ [Theme Music] ¤ JB:
Thank you for having joined
00:27:45.89\00:27:48.46
me today. I'm
looking forward to seeing
00:27:48.46\00:27:50.23
you again next time.
Until then, remember,
00:27:50.23\00:27:53.90
It Is Written:
Man shall not live
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by bread alone, but by
every word that proceeds
00:27:56.77\00:28:00.51
from the mouth of God. ¤
[Theme music continues]  ¤
00:28:00.51\00:28:05.95