Welcome to Issues and Answers.
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Did you know that the prevalence
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of child sexual abuse
is difficult to determine
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because it is
often not reported?
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Experts agree that the
incidences are far greater
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than what is
reported to authorities.
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Our guests today are
gonna talk about this subject.
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It is Cheryl Williamson
Jones, and David W. Jones II.
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Cheryl received a
degree in human development
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from California
State University,
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San Bernardino.
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She is the
author of the new book,
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"The Wedding Cake,
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A Girl's Guide to Good Choices".
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Cheryl's the
president and cofounder
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along with her husband
David of All God's Children,
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a non-profit organization
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that strives to
guide and improve
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the lives of children
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who have been victims
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of physical and motional abuse.
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She has been
featured on many platforms,
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including the radio show
Rave Women in Los Angeles.
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Cheryl is married to David
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and David attended
La Sierra University,
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he is a certified therapeutic
crisis intervention trainer
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through Cornell University.
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David and Cheryl
have been married 15 years
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and have been taking
care of All God's Children
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from the very beginning.
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Welcome to the
program, Cheryl and David.
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Thank you. So
glad, you would come.
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Thank you so much
for having us, Karen.
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Thank you very
much for having us.
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So first I want to ask you,
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did you have any idea
that you're gonna be involved
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in a work with
children who have been abused?
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Well, I have, this is
the dream come true for me.
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I have wanted to do this
since I was a very young child.
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So yes, this is something
that I've always wanted to do.
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Yes, for me,
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growing up this was not
part of my life experience,
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knowing anything about
children in this form of care,
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but it's funny how
life brings you full circle.
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And brings you even to
some of your past experience,
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I mean, past
experience of your generations
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that you didn't even know
were available or were there.
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Right.
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My grandmother actually
grew up not too far from here
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in a Catholic orphanage
out of St. Louis, Missouri.
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And growing up, you
know, you would hear stories,
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you know, you would
hear about large orphanages
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and that sort of thing.
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Right.
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But as it's
presented today, you know,
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I didn't even know that,
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that was out there or available.
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My first job out of high school,
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I was a camp counselor.
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Wow.
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And now I find
myself working with children
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all over again,
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even though this is not
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what I had designed for my life,
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I guess that's what
God designed for my life,
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which is always more important.
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Amen, amen.
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Now you said that
you actually plan to,
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what did you plan
since you were a small girl?
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Well, my dad's a
retired social worker
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and he would come home
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and share stories with us about,
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how difficult it was to
place a large family of siblings
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and those stories
would touch me and I,
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you know, as I got older
or something that I just,
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you know, always wanted to do.
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Now, did you come from
a perfect family yourself,
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had you ever had
any type of crisis
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that would help you to be
able to relate to the children
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that you're helping now?
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No, it's just, you know,
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listening to my father
and him sharing the stories,
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and his struggles of
finding good quality homes
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for the children.
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I remember one of
a story in particular
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he shared with me was
about, there was six siblings,
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the ages range
from infancy to about 13
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and how, when it
was time to place them,
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they simply did not have
the placement for six children,
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and they all had to be separated
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and stories like
that really inspired me
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to do what I'm doing today.
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Okay, so before you
founded All God's Children,
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what type of work
were you involve with?
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I was in telecommunications.
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Telecommunications
and I understand
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that you also were a
big sister at one point?
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Yes, I was a
voluntary big sister.
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I also did volunteer work
at juvenile home in Riverside,
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California.
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Volunteered?
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Yes, I was a
volunteer counselor.
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I worked with boys,
ages, I think it was 10 to 12
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and I also worked at
other residential homes.
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So what was, you guys,
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have a group
homes, is that right?
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Residential care,
yes. Residential care.
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What's the difference?
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Well, we actually just
don't like that connotation
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because...
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It sounds too institutionalize.
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Yes. Okay.
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And so we call it a home.
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What we do, we
work with children
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that are most at
risk that are out there,
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because of the
behaviors that they present
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because of all the trauma
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that has
occurred in their lives,
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they act out.
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It's no surprise to
us that they act out
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because you
would kind of expect,
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you've been through all of this
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but the thing is that they
don't have the coping skills
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that we have or that children
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that would be in
a more established
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or traditional home might have.
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And so they haven't
developed those skills,
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but they've
learned ways to survive.
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Right.
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They've got, they have
what we call survival skills.
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And so they act out
in a very bizarre ways
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and, you know, when you see that
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and it's presented,
then we are willing to work
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with those
challenging behaviors.
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But what happens that once
you start saying, you know,
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putting it into a more
facility type term, then it,
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basically children feel like
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they're more of in
a facility type place.
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We want them to feel
like they are at home.
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So we reference
where they live as home.
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As home.
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Not as a group
home, it's just a home.
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So we have a home for boys
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and we have a
home for our girls.
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We do.
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Okay, so now, is this
the same as foster care?
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Well, it's actually a
step above foster care.
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Yes.
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So the child that...
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So a step above.
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Well, it's a more therapeutic
structured environment
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and there is someone
awake 24 hours for supervision.
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So the children
that are in our care
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have not been able to maintain
their placement in foster care.
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So the system
has required for them
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to actually move to higher level
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where there's more
therapy, there is more testing,
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and, so that's...
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So our children
receive therapy from us.
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They receive individual therapy,
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group therapy.
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If need be, we can
offer family therapy.
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They receive
therapies once a week from us
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and more sometimes if necessary
depending what their needs are.
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In addition to that, if
they need psychiatric care,
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then we get them
involved with psychiatrist
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for medication issues.
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So we actually have
the children that are more,
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mostly disturbed than
children in foster care.
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So we have fire starters,
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the ones that are
abusive to animals,
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the ones that
have sexual issues,
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the ones that just simply
need supervision 24 hours.
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Yeah, but you have to understand
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that a child that's
been physically abused,
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that's how they're gonna act up,
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probably is physically,
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if child has
been sexually abused,
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may act out sexual.
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They are communicating
their pain through their
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inappropriate behaviors.
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Wow, so it sounds like do
you do all the care yourself,
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or do you have staff?
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No...
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We have a lot of help. We do.
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What type of people help?
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We may have between
22 to 32 individuals
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that work with our program,
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work with us,
with the children not
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including therapists.
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The type of individuals
that which look to work with us
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are those individuals generally
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that are seeking to go
into these type of fields
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and that's where we look
for, when we look for employees
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'cause we like to
screen our employees
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like we screen the children
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because it's very important
that the whole milieu fits.
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Right. Right.
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So we actually post jobs
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for all the surrounding colleges
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which is four, right?
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Four surrounding colleges.
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And I think it's
even more than that.
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And so we
actually look for people
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that are interested
in working with children
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that are studying
in the social sciences.
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But the
majority of our employees
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because they like it so much
and it becomes, like I said,
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you know, we try to
create a family feel.
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Yeah.
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Most of them
come word of mouth...
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Right.
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Or from their
college professors saying,
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"Hey, listen, you know, what?
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If you're going in this field,
you need some work experience,
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call these people."
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So you said, you
weren't sure, you didn't know,
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you wanted to do this
from the very beginning.
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A long time, yeah.
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You weren't sure that
you wanted to do that,
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how did you get started?
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This sounds like a pretty
big enterprise for newly weds.
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Well, let's see.
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We started it was, you know,
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it was something I wanted to do,
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like I said my father, you know,
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with his line of
work really supported me
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or supported us.
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We started out
with absolutely nothing.
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We lived over, in a room,
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over a garage for
eight years with no heat,
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just trying to get
the business going.
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It felt like the
room started at your desk
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and ended with this
chair, it was that small.
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That's where we spent
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the first eight
years of our marriage
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but it all worked out and,
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we really enjoyed
what we were doing,
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it was fun...
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You know,
honestly, I ran from it.
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I mean, I wanted to
support my wife of course,
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this is what she wanted to do.
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So I felt, well, God
wanted me to support her.
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But I found out that
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I'm spending all
of my extra time here
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because they're having fun
and doing all the fun things
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that I enjoyed doing.
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Right.
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So after a couple of years
of asking, she quit asking.
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I did. I did.
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And we started with six
clients and now we have 18.
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18 children. Yes.
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Now tell me about
the home environment.
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So you said, the first home,
what was that like, I mean,
00:09:58.06\00:10:00.80
what is the typical environment
for this, for the children?
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Is it like a
building that you have?
00:10:04.13\00:10:06.27
No, no, it's our
home. We lived there first.
00:10:06.30\00:10:08.54
Yeah.
00:10:08.57\00:10:09.90
We actually opened our doors...
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And then we moved
to that little room
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over the garage
and so our children...
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How big is the home?
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The house is 3,000
square feet on half an acre...
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So it's a home.
Little over half an acre.
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Yeah. And the
other home is on acre.
00:10:21.78\00:10:23.72
Yes.
00:10:23.75\00:10:25.29
But six years later we,
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after seeing siblings
not be able to grow up
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with their brothers and sisters.
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Right. We
opened the girls' home.
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That inspired us to
open the girls' home
00:10:35.23\00:10:36.93
and showed us
where the home was at.
00:10:36.97\00:10:38.83
It actually showed her
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where the home
was at because she...
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Tell me about that story?
00:10:41.80\00:10:43.24
Well, we submitted
our application to expand
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and we could not find a
location that we wanted.
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Again, I was driving by
and I was like praying, Lord,
00:10:50.38\00:10:53.55
if You could please
just find a home for us.
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Looked up, I
pass this way everyday
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and there was this huge
sign saying house for sale.
00:10:59.59\00:11:02.96
It only been up, the
lady said for three hours.
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Three hours. Only
been out for three hours.
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And I get there...
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And I called my husband
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and said we have
to go talk this lady.
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She did.
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And it was only
three and a half miles
00:11:13.27\00:11:14.60
from the house, the
first house, the boys' house.
00:11:14.64\00:11:15.97
The houses are a
mile and a half away.
00:11:16.00\00:11:19.04
Three minute drive, yeah.
00:11:19.07\00:11:20.41
Three minute drive
from one house to the next
00:11:20.44\00:11:22.31
and 20 minutes to walk in,
00:11:22.34\00:11:23.75
and I always tell our employees
00:11:23.78\00:11:25.65
that 20 minutes to
walk is really important
00:11:25.68\00:11:27.65
because if you don't
exercise young children,
00:11:27.68\00:11:29.85
young children would
definitely exercise you.
00:11:29.88\00:11:32.32
So, yeah, get
out there and enjoy,
00:11:32.35\00:11:35.12
but what was nice is
that God brought us something
00:11:35.16\00:11:37.29
that was only a
mile and a half away.
00:11:37.33\00:11:38.79
Yeah, in Southern
California that...
00:11:38.83\00:11:41.56
So our second home
is 4,000 square feet
00:11:41.60\00:11:44.60
on little over an acre.
00:11:44.63\00:11:45.97
On little over an acre. Wow.
00:11:46.00\00:11:47.34
And it's little bit
further out into the country.
00:11:47.37\00:11:49.67
Well, that's awesome.
00:11:49.70\00:11:51.04
So how do you make this a home?
00:11:51.07\00:11:54.34
You said that it's
not an office building,
00:11:54.38\00:11:56.48
it's not an institution.
00:11:56.51\00:11:59.78
Well, you fill it with love,
you fill it with good memories.
00:11:59.81\00:12:02.85
Our children come
with a lot of bad memories
00:12:02.88\00:12:06.02
so you try to
expose them to new things,
00:12:06.05\00:12:09.06
you try to teach them new
ways, we are trying to make...
00:12:09.09\00:12:13.53
My beautiful wife is
a wonderful decorator.
00:12:13.56\00:12:17.70
You know, our girls' bathroom
00:12:17.73\00:12:19.57
actually has a
chandelier hanging in it.
00:12:19.60\00:12:21.47
Wow.
00:12:21.50\00:12:22.84
Yes, yes and it's
very nicely decorated,
00:12:22.87\00:12:26.68
there is little '50s
diner where they eat in,
00:12:26.71\00:12:29.24
that we try to make it fun
00:12:29.28\00:12:30.61
because fun is our
number one motivator
00:12:30.65\00:12:32.31
in dealing with children.
00:12:32.35\00:12:33.68
Oh, is that so? Yes. It is.
00:12:33.72\00:12:35.05
So, you know, you
have to inspire them
00:12:35.08\00:12:36.58
to want something different.
00:12:36.62\00:12:39.22
So now the children
all have their own space?
00:12:39.25\00:12:42.49
They do.
00:12:42.52\00:12:43.93
Two of them share a room. Okay.
00:12:43.96\00:12:46.06
Yeah.
00:12:46.09\00:12:47.43
So how do the kids come to you?
00:12:47.46\00:12:49.53
Well, they come to us...
00:12:49.56\00:12:52.13
Are they referred to you
by friends or by church or...
00:12:52.17\00:12:55.24
Through the counties. Well, yes.
00:12:55.27\00:12:57.07
Through someone, you
know County, Riverside County,
00:12:57.11\00:12:59.07
and Imperial County.
00:12:59.11\00:13:00.58
Imperial current County,
00:13:00.61\00:13:02.04
all of the surrounding counties,
00:13:02.08\00:13:03.41
San Diego County, we've
had children from all over,
00:13:03.45\00:13:07.95
when we are full which is
most of the time unfortunately,
00:13:07.98\00:13:12.75
we have 18 clients,
00:13:12.79\00:13:14.52
so you start
multiplying that by,
00:13:14.56\00:13:18.16
17 years of being in business?
00:13:18.19\00:13:20.83
Right. And we've had
hundreds of children.
00:13:20.86\00:13:23.77
That's probably hundred
kids, clients or children.
00:13:23.80\00:13:25.13
So the phone can ring
in the middle of the night.
00:13:25.17\00:13:26.50
Wonderful. Yeah, yeah.
00:13:26.53\00:13:27.87
So the phone can ring
in the middle of the night
00:13:27.90\00:13:29.24
and there can be
maybe a drug bust
00:13:29.27\00:13:30.87
or something going on
00:13:30.91\00:13:32.37
and sometimes we get children
in the middle of the night,
00:13:32.41\00:13:34.18
in their little pajamas.
00:13:34.21\00:13:35.64
And they're so
scared and, you know,
00:13:35.68\00:13:38.11
they'll just stand
there with little teddy bear,
00:13:38.15\00:13:40.02
and they don't know what to do,
00:13:40.05\00:13:41.42
and you can get
them middle of the day.
00:13:41.45\00:13:42.78
The phone rings all
the time, you never know.
00:13:42.82\00:13:44.15
So children come to us
as young as seven-years-old.
00:13:44.19\00:13:47.49
In fact, actually this
morning I received a call
00:13:47.52\00:13:50.33
from one of the counties
for a seven-year-old that,
00:13:50.36\00:13:53.73
we actually do
not have room to take
00:13:53.76\00:13:56.56
and oftentimes especially
00:13:56.60\00:13:58.80
because that has become
what we are known to work well
00:13:58.83\00:14:02.94
with is the younger children.
00:14:02.97\00:14:04.57
The little ones.
00:14:04.61\00:14:05.94
Although, we are licensed
to do a non-minor dependents,
00:14:05.97\00:14:10.41
you know, there
are no places for them.
00:14:10.45\00:14:13.25
So you're saying that this
is just such an important issue
00:14:13.28\00:14:17.45
that
unfortunately it's a crisis...
00:14:17.49\00:14:21.59
Yes. Even where you are living.
00:14:21.62\00:14:22.96
Yes.
00:14:22.99\00:14:24.33
And of course, we're seeing
this across the United States.
00:14:24.36\00:14:26.16
It's a crisis
that so many children
00:14:26.19\00:14:28.93
are going through this, and...
00:14:28.96\00:14:30.97
Yeah.
00:14:31.00\00:14:32.33
But God has given
you all the ability
00:14:32.37\00:14:34.00
to be able to make a
difference in the lives...
00:14:34.04\00:14:36.07
Yes. He has.
00:14:36.10\00:14:37.44
Of some of these
precious children.
00:14:37.47\00:14:38.81
What kinds of fun
things do you do with the kids?
00:14:38.84\00:14:41.54
Got lots of fun things,
fly kites, go to beach, camp.
00:14:41.58\00:14:48.48
I love camping. We love camping.
00:14:48.52\00:14:51.45
We have taken our
children from California,
00:14:51.49\00:14:54.29
the Pacific Ocean all the
way to the Atlantic Ocean.
00:14:54.32\00:14:57.69
We've even brought them here
to 3ABN, they're close to 3ABN.
00:14:57.73\00:15:00.46
They have them.
Yes, they have been here.
00:15:00.50\00:15:01.83
We took the trip
with a busted down van,
00:15:01.86\00:15:05.27
when we first got
started and it was back in 2000
00:15:05.30\00:15:08.64
and we had five
little boys with us
00:15:08.67\00:15:13.44
and we went through the Rockies,
00:15:13.48\00:15:16.34
down through the plains,
the southern plains of Kansas,
00:15:16.38\00:15:19.25
and on toward we ended up
at Rend Lake out here by 3ABN.
00:15:19.28\00:15:25.95
And then we went on to DC,
00:15:25.99\00:15:27.49
I think that year we
did 27 states in 35 days.
00:15:27.52\00:15:32.16
But I've to tell
you about the van.
00:15:32.19\00:15:33.53
The van was 12 years old
00:15:33.56\00:15:36.60
and we left
California with three good tires
00:15:36.63\00:15:39.83
and one was just a prayer.
00:15:39.87\00:15:41.20
It was also busted by
the time we came back here.
00:15:41.24\00:15:43.20
One tire is bad.
00:15:43.24\00:15:44.57
But yeah, it was
brilliant. It was all faithful.
00:15:44.61\00:15:46.14
So now how do you
travel with the kids?
00:15:46.17\00:15:48.24
Now we travel in RV.
00:15:48.28\00:15:49.88
We do a little bit better now.
00:15:49.91\00:15:51.25
We do a little bit better.
00:15:51.28\00:15:52.61
I don't speak
with a foot in my face.
00:15:52.65\00:15:54.48
We do.
00:15:54.52\00:15:55.85
But when we
first purchased the RV,
00:15:55.88\00:15:57.22
we had to make some moderations,
00:15:57.25\00:15:58.82
we changed it around
00:15:58.85\00:16:00.19
so we could
accommodate more children.
00:16:00.22\00:16:01.56
More kid friendly. So, yeah.
00:16:01.59\00:16:02.92
But even then, we still.
00:16:02.96\00:16:04.29
I mean, it's camping,
you belong in a tent, so...
00:16:04.33\00:16:06.33
So all the kids
get their own tent?
00:16:06.36\00:16:08.20
Yeah. They all?
00:16:08.23\00:16:09.56
Yeah, they
definitely have their tent.
00:16:09.60\00:16:11.43
They all have their own tent,
00:16:11.47\00:16:12.80
their own sleeping
bag and everything.
00:16:12.83\00:16:15.30
They're able to put the
tents up together themselves.
00:16:15.34\00:16:17.47
Yeah. We practice invariably.
00:16:17.51\00:16:18.84
And we get out in
nature, we have a great time.
00:16:18.87\00:16:21.18
And it's amazing
00:16:21.21\00:16:22.54
because being out in
nature calms the children.
00:16:22.58\00:16:25.31
It really does.
00:16:25.35\00:16:26.68
And being out in areas
that they're not used to
00:16:26.72\00:16:29.48
like we if are
in Zion's Tower...
00:16:29.52\00:16:30.85
It draws us closer
and it builds trust.
00:16:30.89\00:16:32.22
Wyoming and Yellowstone
00:16:32.25\00:16:34.32
or out by us is
Yosemite or Mammoth Lake,
00:16:34.36\00:16:37.96
they learn to trust each other
00:16:37.99\00:16:40.60
and trust in us a
little bit more as well.
00:16:40.63\00:16:43.23
So I understand that
just from your experiences
00:16:43.26\00:16:46.53
something wonderful
happened with you, Cheryl,
00:16:46.57\00:16:49.37
you wrote a book.
00:16:49.40\00:16:50.74
Yes. Yes, I did.
00:16:50.77\00:16:52.11
Tell us about the
book, what's the title?
00:16:52.14\00:16:53.64
Do you have it
with you? Yes, I do.
00:16:53.68\00:16:55.34
Oh, there it is right there.
00:16:55.38\00:16:56.81
Okay, so tell us about the book?
00:16:56.85\00:16:58.51
It's called The
Wedding Cake Book
00:16:58.55\00:17:00.55
and A Girl's
Guide To Good Choices,
00:17:00.58\00:17:03.12
it's a book to be used as a tool
00:17:03.15\00:17:04.99
to speak to young ladies
00:17:05.02\00:17:06.35
about the
importance of abstinence
00:17:06.39\00:17:08.49
and the
consequences of premarital sex.
00:17:08.52\00:17:10.69
Okay. So how
did that come to be?
00:17:10.73\00:17:15.33
What, you know, had you
written other books before?
00:17:15.36\00:17:17.67
No, no, writing a book
00:17:17.70\00:17:19.30
was something I had
never inspired to do,
00:17:19.33\00:17:21.44
no desire to ever write a book.
00:17:21.47\00:17:23.34
But I found
that I was struggling
00:17:23.37\00:17:25.87
with talking to our girls
00:17:25.91\00:17:27.88
about the importance of
respecting their bodies.
00:17:27.91\00:17:30.55
And I was
continually getting calls
00:17:30.58\00:17:33.52
from the principal
00:17:33.55\00:17:34.88
about finding my girls
in appropriate situations.
00:17:34.92\00:17:38.95
And when they come home,
00:17:38.99\00:17:40.42
I would just
try to speak to them
00:17:40.46\00:17:42.52
about the importance
of respecting their bodies
00:17:42.56\00:17:44.06
and making good choices.
00:17:44.09\00:17:45.99
And I wasn't very good at it,
it just, I wasn't reaching them
00:17:46.03\00:17:49.46
and I felt really frustrated,
00:17:49.50\00:17:51.33
I actually went to a
large local book store
00:17:51.37\00:17:53.94
and I was speaking
to the lady at the store
00:17:53.97\00:17:56.94
and I said, "You
know, do you have anything
00:17:56.97\00:17:58.37
that I can use as a guide
to talk to these young girls
00:17:58.41\00:18:02.04
about abstinence?"
00:18:02.08\00:18:03.55
And, you know, she
went to her computer
00:18:03.58\00:18:05.81
and she says, "You know,
we do not have anything here."
00:18:05.85\00:18:08.65
So I left and I just,
00:18:08.68\00:18:10.39
you know, a
couple of weeks passed
00:18:10.42\00:18:11.75
and I got another
call from the principal
00:18:11.79\00:18:14.22
and this time I started praying.
00:18:14.26\00:18:17.29
I was driving to the
girls' house and I said,
00:18:17.33\00:18:20.03
"Lord, if you could
please just give me something
00:18:20.06\00:18:23.40
to help these girls."
00:18:23.43\00:18:24.77
Yes.
00:18:24.80\00:18:26.13
You know, I
really need to reach them
00:18:26.17\00:18:27.64
and in about three minutes
00:18:27.67\00:18:30.24
all these different ideas
started to pop into my head.
00:18:30.27\00:18:33.38
Wow.
00:18:33.41\00:18:34.74
It was almost like I
was brainstorming like,
00:18:34.78\00:18:36.34
anything that had
to do with little girls
00:18:36.38\00:18:37.88
was just popping
through my head like Barbies,
00:18:37.91\00:18:40.25
princess, things like that.
00:18:40.28\00:18:42.08
By the time I got out of my car,
00:18:42.12\00:18:43.55
got to the door,
00:18:43.59\00:18:44.92
I had the metaphor of
the Wedding Cake in my head
00:18:44.95\00:18:48.49
and I was
speaking to a little girl,
00:18:48.52\00:18:51.29
we went to the back room
00:18:51.33\00:18:52.66
and I started
sharing this new idea
00:18:52.69\00:18:54.96
that I had in my head with her
00:18:55.00\00:18:56.97
and she looked
at me and she said,
00:18:57.00\00:18:58.33
"Mrs. Cheryl, I understand
00:18:58.37\00:19:00.24
what you've been
trying to tell me now."
00:19:00.27\00:19:01.60
And I said, "You do?"
00:19:01.64\00:19:02.97
I was surprised.
00:19:03.00\00:19:04.34
And so I was just over the years
00:19:04.37\00:19:05.71
just started
developing the story
00:19:05.74\00:19:07.24
and it started growing.
00:19:07.28\00:19:08.71
So for five years
I used the metaphor,
00:19:08.74\00:19:11.58
"The Wedding Cake"
00:19:11.61\00:19:12.95
and at one staff meeting,
00:19:12.98\00:19:16.52
one of my employee said
to me, "We got a new client."
00:19:16.55\00:19:18.89
And she says, "Mrs. Cheryl,
00:19:18.92\00:19:20.99
we need to share this story
with another girl, a new girl."
00:19:21.02\00:19:23.02
And I said, "Okay.
Next week I'll do that."
00:19:23.06\00:19:25.56
So David here, my husband...
00:19:25.59\00:19:27.03
We've been in the staff meeting.
00:19:27.06\00:19:28.40
Right, right, right.
00:19:28.43\00:19:29.76
In staff meeting they
were like, "Oh, Mrs. Cheryl,
00:19:29.80\00:19:31.90
so and so needs you to talk
to her about The Wedding cake."
00:19:31.93\00:19:35.97
And Wedding Cake?
00:19:36.00\00:19:39.04
You know, one of my male
staff is like, "Wedding cake?
00:19:39.07\00:19:40.78
I want some wedding
cake. I love wedding cake."
00:19:40.81\00:19:42.14
'Cause the male
staff didn't know
00:19:42.18\00:19:43.51
what I was talking about.
00:19:43.55\00:19:44.88
They're like, yeah, I mean,
who doesn't love cake, right?
00:19:44.91\00:19:46.25
Right.
00:19:46.28\00:19:47.62
So, you know, I
asked her about it
00:19:47.65\00:19:49.02
and she is like,
"Oh, don't worry about it,
00:19:49.05\00:19:50.39
it's nothing."
00:19:50.42\00:19:51.75
Right.
00:19:51.79\00:19:53.12
So it kind of, out
of sight, out of mind
00:19:53.15\00:19:54.62
and it comes up again.
00:19:54.66\00:19:56.76
So I said, "What is
this about the wedding cake?"
00:19:56.79\00:19:59.79
And... So we got home.
00:19:59.83\00:20:01.70
She says, it's a
tool that we, you know...
00:20:01.73\00:20:03.37
I've been using it
for like five years,
00:20:03.40\00:20:04.77
to talk to the girls about
the importance of abstinence
00:20:04.80\00:20:06.74
and respecting their bodies.
00:20:06.77\00:20:08.47
So we get home and he,
I was sitting on the couch
00:20:08.50\00:20:11.41
and David, he is
lot bigger than I am,
00:20:11.44\00:20:12.97
takes his leg and lays
it over my leg and he says,
00:20:13.01\00:20:15.88
"I'm not gonna let you up,
00:20:15.91\00:20:17.25
until you tell me
about this metaphor
00:20:17.28\00:20:19.58
and this wedding cake."
00:20:19.61\00:20:20.95
Okay, good.
00:20:20.98\00:20:22.32
Let's take a look
at that book please.
00:20:22.35\00:20:24.75
What a beautiful cover it is.
00:20:24.79\00:20:26.76
Thank you.
00:20:26.79\00:20:28.12
Beautiful green,
The Wedding Cake.
00:20:28.16\00:20:29.76
Well, this is a
very interesting picture
00:20:29.79\00:20:31.49
on the back.
00:20:31.53\00:20:32.86
Yes, it is.
00:20:32.89\00:20:34.23
It's got a bride in
the middle, has two bows.
00:20:34.26\00:20:36.77
Yes, that's the
groom holding the crumbs
00:20:36.80\00:20:38.80
and the other is the young man
00:20:38.83\00:20:40.67
that has enjoyed
the wedding cake.
00:20:40.70\00:20:43.94
Let's look and see
what's inside, everybody.
00:20:43.97\00:20:47.38
Okay, so this
looks like the beginning,
00:20:47.41\00:20:51.35
it got lot of
presents, beautiful gifts, okay.
00:20:51.38\00:20:54.48
What does this
picture represent?
00:20:54.52\00:20:56.28
The perfect wedding cake.
00:20:56.32\00:20:58.42
So the wedding cake
00:20:58.45\00:21:00.02
historically has
been a symbol of fertility
00:21:00.06\00:21:03.76
for the woman.
00:21:03.79\00:21:05.99
And so I just had my illustrator
00:21:06.03\00:21:09.26
put the perfect cake there,
00:21:09.30\00:21:10.63
just displaying the table
cloth and the knife and the...
00:21:10.67\00:21:15.57
Well, we should gonna be
using for the first time.
00:21:15.60\00:21:17.31
And I understand
it that's our child.
00:21:17.34\00:21:20.51
Right.
00:21:20.54\00:21:21.88
Wow.
00:21:21.91\00:21:23.24
Okay, let's go
to another picture.
00:21:23.28\00:21:25.85
My, seem things have
changed, what's going on here?
00:21:25.88\00:21:29.68
Well, I used the
wedding cake as a metaphor,
00:21:29.72\00:21:32.92
so as you flip
through the pages of the book,
00:21:32.95\00:21:36.26
you're going to see that
with each choice that you make
00:21:36.29\00:21:39.36
with each young boy,
00:21:39.39\00:21:41.23
your wedding cake
is going to transform.
00:21:41.26\00:21:43.40
So it's going to go
from the perfect wedding cake
00:21:43.43\00:21:46.33
to in this
particular illustration,
00:21:46.37\00:21:48.10
it has the cake
tilted a little bit
00:21:48.14\00:21:50.61
and it has the finger swipe.
00:21:50.64\00:21:52.94
Finger swipe.
00:21:52.97\00:21:55.18
That would be the boy that
just wanted the little taste.
00:21:55.21\00:21:59.21
This one says the second boy.
00:21:59.25\00:22:00.98
Second boy, again
the cake transforms,
00:22:01.02\00:22:04.05
so now you'll have a cake
00:22:04.09\00:22:05.42
that has, it's tilted even more,
00:22:05.45\00:22:08.26
it has the fingers
swiped from the first boy,
00:22:08.29\00:22:11.09
along with the bite
00:22:11.13\00:22:12.46
out of the cake
from the second boy.
00:22:12.49\00:22:13.90
Oh, my, tell us about this...
00:22:18.63\00:22:20.17
Yes, the third boy, he has eaten
00:22:20.20\00:22:25.14
some of the lovely little
pink flowers off of the cake
00:22:25.17\00:22:28.24
and the cake is
tilted even more.
00:22:28.28\00:22:31.71
You have the bite
and the finger swipe.
00:22:31.75\00:22:33.88
So basically, as
you go through the book
00:22:33.92\00:22:36.05
all the illustrations
are simply just showing you
00:22:36.08\00:22:39.35
how with the choices you make.
00:22:39.39\00:22:42.26
Yes, yes, you can
see that the icings...
00:22:42.29\00:22:46.90
Is there any icing left?
00:22:46.93\00:22:48.43
There's still a
little bit of icing...
00:22:48.46\00:22:50.67
All the roses are gone.
00:22:50.70\00:22:52.03
There's a little bit of
icing left but it just...
00:22:52.07\00:22:54.24
Right.
00:22:54.27\00:22:55.60
The illustrations are
powerful for young girls...
00:22:55.64\00:22:57.01
Are you sure?
00:22:57.04\00:22:58.37
Because it actually shows you
00:22:58.41\00:22:59.84
how your choices
affect your body.
00:22:59.87\00:23:01.91
Yes, that's one of my
favorite pictures there.
00:23:01.94\00:23:04.95
Why?
00:23:04.98\00:23:06.31
Because it's the result
of all your bad choices.
00:23:06.35\00:23:09.42
So it really shown
there. You can clearly see, yes.
00:23:09.45\00:23:11.85
There is no icing on that cake.
00:23:11.89\00:23:13.22
No, not, not one drop.
00:23:13.25\00:23:15.62
Shows everything.
00:23:15.66\00:23:16.99
Yes.
00:23:17.03\00:23:18.43
Yes, it does.
00:23:18.46\00:23:22.26
And that one,
00:23:22.30\00:23:24.17
I like it because it
just kind of speaks to
00:23:24.20\00:23:30.01
what the choices you've made,
00:23:30.04\00:23:31.37
how they are going
to affect the husband,
00:23:31.41\00:23:33.24
the man you chose to marry
00:23:33.27\00:23:35.11
and I like little
napkin on that guy
00:23:35.14\00:23:38.21
who has been eating your cake.
00:23:38.25\00:23:39.58
How his face looks in...
00:23:39.61\00:23:40.95
You know, to me that
picture right there kind of...
00:23:40.98\00:23:42.92
Kind of says it all,
kind of sums everything up
00:23:42.95\00:23:45.05
to how your choices are...
00:23:45.09\00:23:47.29
What is the
affect? How it affects.
00:23:47.32\00:23:48.72
Well, you know, one
guy is sitting there
00:23:48.76\00:23:51.09
and licking his chops
'cause he's enjoyed everything,
00:23:51.13\00:23:53.46
when the person who
was willing to commit
00:23:53.50\00:23:56.23
is, you know, more or less
left with all of the fallout
00:23:56.26\00:24:01.24
of what happens
with relationships
00:24:01.27\00:24:03.34
when you have
these other choices.
00:24:03.37\00:24:05.41
And it's all, everything
00:24:05.44\00:24:06.78
that you're
bringing to your marriage.
00:24:06.81\00:24:08.14
And the young lady looks like
00:24:08.18\00:24:09.51
she is kind of trying to
deal with all of her choices
00:24:09.54\00:24:11.35
right there on her wedding day,
00:24:11.38\00:24:12.88
looking at her
husband's expression.
00:24:12.91\00:24:15.05
Wow.
00:24:15.08\00:24:16.42
Now this is when you get
a little bit more explicit
00:24:20.36\00:24:22.42
and you start
teaching the girls?
00:24:22.46\00:24:24.13
Right, so...
00:24:24.16\00:24:25.86
Sexually transmitted
diseases and other things?
00:24:25.89\00:24:28.26
Right.
00:24:28.30\00:24:29.63
So in this book I,
again, it's a guide.
00:24:29.66\00:24:32.23
So you're going to use this book
00:24:32.27\00:24:34.10
according to
where your child is?
00:24:34.14\00:24:35.94
And according to the
questions that they ask?
00:24:35.97\00:24:37.41
So you can go into more detail
00:24:37.44\00:24:39.21
or you can just
kind of stay in general,
00:24:39.24\00:24:40.88
depending again on
where your child is.
00:24:40.91\00:24:42.84
So I actually address
three different consequences
00:24:42.88\00:24:46.41
or possible consequences
of having premarital sex.
00:24:46.45\00:24:49.35
I address the STDs
00:24:49.38\00:24:51.39
and if you look
at the illustration,
00:24:51.42\00:24:53.46
it kind of shows,
00:24:53.49\00:24:55.29
that has the symptoms of
STDs on the actual wedding cake.
00:24:55.32\00:25:00.06
And so depending on
where your child is,
00:25:00.10\00:25:01.70
depending on it.
00:25:01.73\00:25:03.06
Little bugs and...
So it depends on...
00:25:03.10\00:25:04.43
Bugs, oh, okay, well,
we totally understand.
00:25:04.47\00:25:06.10
So the symptoms of STDs,
00:25:06.13\00:25:08.20
so that illustration you
can actually go into more detail
00:25:08.24\00:25:11.34
with your
daughter, or young lady,
00:25:11.37\00:25:13.51
or you can keep it more general
00:25:13.54\00:25:14.88
depending on again where she is.
00:25:14.91\00:25:16.64
So it addresses
that, it also addresses
00:25:16.68\00:25:18.75
on the possibility of pregnancy,
00:25:18.78\00:25:21.78
and how it's going to
affect your life forever,
00:25:21.82\00:25:25.39
and how it's going to
affect your child's life.
00:25:25.42\00:25:28.32
And then I also talked about
00:25:28.36\00:25:29.69
the emotional aspect
of having premarital sex
00:25:29.72\00:25:34.90
and that is
where you are in life
00:25:34.93\00:25:37.70
and how you're
going to deal with those,
00:25:37.73\00:25:39.07
and how you can possibly
carry over those feelings
00:25:39.10\00:25:41.20
into your future relationships.
00:25:41.24\00:25:43.64
Wow.
00:25:43.67\00:25:45.01
Is that, what's
happening in this picture here?
00:25:45.04\00:25:47.28
You know, everyone is
affected in the relationship
00:25:47.31\00:25:49.81
by the choices that we make.
00:25:49.84\00:25:51.65
That's very
true. That's very true.
00:25:51.68\00:25:53.18
Yes. Yes, it is.
00:25:53.21\00:25:54.55
What about this picture, Cheryl?
00:25:54.58\00:25:56.12
That picture, I
really like that picture,
00:25:56.15\00:25:58.25
because I like the fact
that it shows redemption,
00:25:58.29\00:26:01.66
and I like the fact that
00:26:01.69\00:26:05.39
it has all those different words
00:26:05.43\00:26:07.16
of encouragement for each girl.
00:26:07.20\00:26:09.86
A lot of our girls are victims
00:26:09.90\00:26:11.57
and they've had
things happen to them,
00:26:11.60\00:26:13.34
that's by no
choice of their own,
00:26:13.37\00:26:15.30
and so I didn't want
them to feel damaged,
00:26:15.34\00:26:16.94
I wanted them to have hope.
00:26:16.97\00:26:18.47
So that's what that
picture basically represents.
00:26:18.51\00:26:20.21
It's beautiful.
00:26:20.24\00:26:21.71
They're
rebuilding the wedding cake.
00:26:21.74\00:26:23.81
You can rebuild your cake.
00:26:23.85\00:26:25.18
Until it's beautiful and
perfect just like before.
00:26:25.21\00:26:29.55
I love this book, it's so nice.
00:26:29.58\00:26:31.29
Thank you. Thank you.
00:26:31.32\00:26:32.72
So tell me about
All God's children.
00:26:32.75\00:26:34.66
How can people get
into contact with you?
00:26:34.69\00:26:36.66
You obviously have a book
00:26:36.69\00:26:38.03
so that means you
do training as well,
00:26:38.06\00:26:39.39
both of you?
00:26:39.43\00:26:40.76
Well, you can contact us
through allgodschildren.net
00:26:40.80\00:26:42.83
which is our website.
00:26:42.86\00:26:45.70
And we can purchase the book?
00:26:45.73\00:26:47.40
I'm sorry, it's
allgodschildren.us.
00:26:47.44\00:26:49.97
Allgodschildren.us.
00:26:50.01\00:26:51.91
Yes.
00:26:51.94\00:26:53.27
Okay and we can get
the book from the website?
00:26:53.31\00:26:55.28
You can order the
book from the website.
00:26:55.31\00:26:57.18
Theweddingcakebook.net.
00:26:57.21\00:26:59.71
Theweddingcakebook.net. Yes.
00:26:59.75\00:27:03.02
And you guys are
available to be able to travel
00:27:03.05\00:27:06.42
and to be able to
help other people,
00:27:06.45\00:27:08.32
who are going
through some of these things?
00:27:08.36\00:27:10.49
Do you have
resources on your website?
00:27:10.53\00:27:12.56
Yes, just, okay,
you can contact us
00:27:12.59\00:27:14.60
through the
website or through 3ABN.
00:27:14.63\00:27:16.63
Fantastic, fantastic.
00:27:16.67\00:27:18.57
Well, I certainly
appreciate your coming
00:27:18.60\00:27:20.44
and sharing with us.
00:27:20.47\00:27:21.80
Thank you, Karen, for having us.
00:27:21.84\00:27:23.17
I want to just ask
you... We enjoyed being here.
00:27:23.20\00:27:24.54
Oh, sorry, yes.
00:27:24.57\00:27:26.04
Can you tell me
one quick, quick story
00:27:26.07\00:27:28.48
how is this, how is the book?
00:27:28.51\00:27:29.94
What's been the
result of the book?
00:27:29.98\00:27:31.55
Has it made a
difference with the girls
00:27:31.58\00:27:32.98
that you are working with?
00:27:33.01\00:27:34.35
It has.
00:27:34.38\00:27:35.72
I have to tell you,
the book is very effective.
00:27:35.75\00:27:37.42
And what is so
inspirational to me is that,
00:27:37.45\00:27:41.72
it was a gift to her from God
00:27:41.76\00:27:44.16
in a very desperate moment,
00:27:44.19\00:27:46.39
and it works.
00:27:46.43\00:27:48.06
Praise God. It works.
00:27:48.10\00:27:49.43
Well, thank you, guys, so much,
00:27:49.46\00:27:50.80
David and Cheryl, for
coming to the program today.
00:27:50.83\00:27:53.54
Thank you for sharing
about The Wedding Cake.
00:27:53.57\00:27:55.87
You know, 2
Corinthians 5:17 says that,
00:27:55.90\00:27:59.24
"If anyone is in
Christ, man, woman, boy, or girl
00:27:59.27\00:28:03.31
that he is a new creature,
00:28:03.35\00:28:05.01
old things are passed away.
00:28:05.05\00:28:07.15
We are the workmanship of
God, created unto a good works."
00:28:07.18\00:28:11.69
That is a message
full of hope for everyone.
00:28:11.72\00:28:14.82
Thank you for joining us
today. Have a blessed day.
00:28:14.86\00:28:17.36