Welcome to Issues & Answers. 00:00:27.92\00:00:29.76 Did you know that the prevalence 00:00:29.79\00:00:31.73 of child's sexual abuse is difficult to determine 00:00:31.76\00:00:35.40 because it is often not reported. 00:00:35.43\00:00:37.90 Experts agree that the incidents 00:00:37.93\00:00:40.64 are far greater than 00:00:40.67\00:00:42.24 what is reported to authorities. 00:00:42.27\00:00:44.34 Our guests today are gonna talk about this subject. 00:00:44.37\00:00:47.38 It is Cheryl Williams Jones and David W Jones II. 00:00:47.41\00:00:52.11 Cheryl received a degree in Human Development 00:00:52.15\00:00:54.32 from California State University, 00:00:54.35\00:00:56.35 San Bernardino. 00:00:56.38\00:00:57.72 She is the author of the new book, 00:00:57.75\00:00:59.42 'The Wedding Cake' a girl's guide to good choices. 00:00:59.45\00:01:02.82 Cheryl is the President and Co-founder 00:01:02.86\00:01:04.89 along with her husband David, 00:01:04.93\00:01:06.70 of 'All Of God's Children', 00:01:06.73\00:01:08.33 a non-profit organization that strives to guide 00:01:08.36\00:01:11.63 and improve the lives of children 00:01:11.67\00:01:13.90 who have been victims of physical 00:01:13.94\00:01:16.00 and emotional abuse. 00:01:16.04\00:01:17.51 She's been featured on many platforms 00:01:17.54\00:01:19.81 including the radio show, Rave Women in Los Angeles. 00:01:19.84\00:01:23.45 Cheryl is married to David. 00:01:23.48\00:01:25.61 And David attended La Sierra University. 00:01:25.65\00:01:28.88 He is a certified Therapeutic Crisis Intervention trainer 00:01:28.92\00:01:32.35 through Cornell University. 00:01:32.39\00:01:34.09 David and Cheryl had been married 15 years 00:01:34.12\00:01:35.89 and have been taking care of 'All God's Children' 00:01:35.92\00:01:39.96 from the very beginning. 00:01:40.00\00:01:41.96 Welcome to the program, Cheryl and David. 00:01:42.00\00:01:44.97 So glad you could come. 00:01:45.00\00:01:46.33 Thank you so much for having us, Karen. 00:01:46.37\00:01:47.70 Thank you very much for having us. 00:01:47.74\00:01:49.07 So, first I'm gonna ask you, 00:01:49.10\00:01:50.84 did you have any idea that you were gonna be involved 00:01:50.87\00:01:53.98 in a work with children who have been abused? 00:01:54.01\00:01:57.31 Well, I have. 00:01:57.35\00:01:58.68 This is a dream come true for me. 00:01:58.71\00:02:00.05 I have wanted to do this since I was a very young child. 00:02:00.08\00:02:03.49 Really? 00:02:03.52\00:02:04.85 So, yes, this is something that I have always wanted to do. 00:02:04.89\00:02:07.82 Yes, for me, growing up, 00:02:07.86\00:02:09.39 this was not part of my life experience, 00:02:09.42\00:02:11.63 knowing anything about children in this form of care. 00:02:11.66\00:02:15.60 But it's funny how life brings you full circle. 00:02:15.63\00:02:19.30 And brings you even to some of your past experience, 00:02:19.33\00:02:22.74 past experience of your, of generations 00:02:22.77\00:02:24.94 that you didn't even know were available or were there. 00:02:24.97\00:02:28.14 My grandmother actually grew up not too far from here 00:02:28.18\00:02:32.05 in a Catholic orphanage out of St. Louis, Missouri. 00:02:32.08\00:02:36.48 And growing up, you know, you would hear stories. 00:02:36.52\00:02:40.56 You know, you would hear about large orphanages 00:02:40.59\00:02:42.76 and that sort of thing. 00:02:42.79\00:02:44.13 Right. 00:02:44.16\00:02:45.49 But as it is presented today, you know, 00:02:45.53\00:02:46.86 I didn't even know that 00:02:46.90\00:02:48.23 that was out there or available. 00:02:48.26\00:02:50.50 My first job out of high school, 00:02:50.53\00:02:52.23 I was a camp counselor. 00:02:52.27\00:02:54.04 And now I find myself working with children all over again. 00:02:54.07\00:02:58.17 Even though this is not 00:02:58.21\00:02:59.54 what I had designed for my life. 00:02:59.57\00:03:00.91 I guess, this is what God designed for my life 00:03:00.94\00:03:02.94 which is always more important. 00:03:02.98\00:03:04.31 Amen. Amen. 00:03:04.35\00:03:05.81 Now you said that you actually planned to-- 00:03:05.85\00:03:08.55 What did you planned since you were a small girl? 00:03:08.58\00:03:10.89 Well, my dad's a retired social worker. 00:03:10.92\00:03:14.96 And he would come home and share stories with us 00:03:14.99\00:03:17.69 about how difficult it was to place 00:03:17.73\00:03:21.00 a large family of siblings. 00:03:21.03\00:03:23.03 And those stories would touch me and I, 00:03:23.06\00:03:25.80 you know, as I got older, that's something that I just, 00:03:25.83\00:03:28.14 you know, always wanted to do. 00:03:28.17\00:03:29.57 Now did you come from a perfect family yourself? 00:03:29.60\00:03:32.14 Had you ever had any type of crisis that would help you 00:03:32.17\00:03:35.11 to be able to relate to the children 00:03:35.14\00:03:36.48 that you are helping now? 00:03:36.51\00:03:38.05 No, it's just, you know, listening to my father 00:03:38.08\00:03:40.52 and him sharing the stories 00:03:40.55\00:03:42.48 and his struggle of finding good quality homes 00:03:42.52\00:03:45.02 for the children. 00:03:45.05\00:03:46.39 I remember one of his stories in particular 00:03:46.42\00:03:47.82 he shared with me was about there were six siblings, 00:03:47.86\00:03:50.93 ages range from infancy to about 13. 00:03:50.96\00:03:55.23 And how, when it was time to place them, 00:03:55.26\00:03:57.17 they just simply did not have the placement 00:03:57.20\00:03:58.63 for six children, 00:03:58.67\00:04:00.00 having all have to be separated. 00:04:00.04\00:04:02.14 And stories like that really inspired me 00:04:02.17\00:04:04.11 to do what I'm doing today. 00:04:04.14\00:04:05.61 Okay. 00:04:05.64\00:04:06.98 So before you got, before you found it, 00:04:07.01\00:04:09.58 'All God's Children', 00:04:09.61\00:04:11.05 what type of work were you involved with? 00:04:11.08\00:04:14.02 I was in telecommunications. 00:04:14.05\00:04:15.68 Telecommunications? Yes. 00:04:15.72\00:04:17.49 And I understand 00:04:17.52\00:04:18.85 that you also were a Big Sister at one point? 00:04:18.89\00:04:21.42 Yes, I was volunteer Big Sister. 00:04:21.46\00:04:24.03 I also did volunteer work 00:04:24.06\00:04:25.79 at Juvenile Hall at Riverside, California. 00:04:25.83\00:04:28.10 Volunteered? 00:04:28.13\00:04:29.46 Yes, I was a volunteer counselor. 00:04:29.50\00:04:31.60 I work with boys... 00:04:31.63\00:04:34.17 ages, I think, it was ten to twelve. 00:04:34.20\00:04:37.21 And I also worked at other residential homes. 00:04:37.24\00:04:40.14 So what was, you guys have group homes. 00:04:40.18\00:04:42.34 Is that right? Residential Care, yes. 00:04:42.38\00:04:44.15 Residential Care? What's the difference? 00:04:44.18\00:04:48.12 Well-- 00:04:48.15\00:04:50.02 Well, we actually just don't like 00:04:50.05\00:04:53.52 that connotation because-- 00:04:53.56\00:04:56.09 It sounds too institutionalized. 00:04:56.12\00:04:57.46 Yes. Okay. 00:04:57.49\00:04:58.83 And so we more call it a home. 00:04:58.86\00:05:00.66 So what we do, we work with children 00:05:00.70\00:05:02.20 that are most at risk that are out there. 00:05:02.23\00:05:06.17 Because of the behaviors that they, that they present, 00:05:06.20\00:05:10.77 because of that all the trauma that has occurred 00:05:10.81\00:05:13.17 in their lives, they act out. 00:05:13.21\00:05:15.18 It's no surprise to us that they act out 00:05:15.21\00:05:17.08 because you would kind of expect 00:05:17.11\00:05:19.01 you've been through all of this. 00:05:19.05\00:05:20.38 But the scene is that they don't have 00:05:20.42\00:05:21.78 the coping skills that we have or that-- 00:05:21.82\00:05:25.95 Children that would be in a more established 00:05:25.99\00:05:29.79 or traditional home might have. 00:05:29.82\00:05:32.99 And so they haven't developed those skills 00:05:33.03\00:05:34.90 but they've learned ways to survive. 00:05:34.93\00:05:37.63 They've got, they have, what we call survival skills. 00:05:37.67\00:05:40.70 And so they act out in very bizarre ways and, 00:05:40.74\00:05:44.57 you know, when you see that and it's presented, 00:05:44.61\00:05:46.78 then we are willing to work 00:05:46.81\00:05:49.61 with those challenging behaviors. 00:05:49.64\00:05:51.55 But what happens that once you start saying, 00:05:51.58\00:05:53.92 you know, put it into a more facility type term, 00:05:53.95\00:05:57.92 then it makes the children feel like 00:05:57.95\00:05:59.29 they're more of in a facility type place. 00:05:59.32\00:06:01.42 We want them to feel like they're at home. 00:06:01.46\00:06:02.79 So, we reference where they live is home. 00:06:02.82\00:06:05.03 As home? 00:06:05.06\00:06:06.39 Not as a group home, it's just a home. 00:06:06.43\00:06:07.96 So, we have a home for boys 00:06:08.00\00:06:09.33 and we have a home for our girls. 00:06:09.36\00:06:10.70 We do. Okay. 00:06:10.73\00:06:12.07 So now, is this the same as foster care? 00:06:12.10\00:06:15.10 Well it's actually a step above foster care. 00:06:15.14\00:06:18.34 Yes. It's a step above. 00:06:18.37\00:06:20.18 well it's a more therapeutic structured environment, 00:06:20.21\00:06:22.78 and there's someone awake 24hours for supervision. 00:06:22.81\00:06:26.55 So the children that are in our care 00:06:26.58\00:06:29.68 have not been able to maintain their placement in foster care. 00:06:29.72\00:06:33.86 So the system has required for them 00:06:33.89\00:06:36.73 to actually move to higher level. 00:06:36.76\00:06:38.09 There's more therapy, there's more testing and, 00:06:38.13\00:06:41.93 so that's what... 00:06:41.96\00:06:43.30 So, our children receive therapy from us. 00:06:43.33\00:06:45.33 They receive individual therapy, 00:06:45.37\00:06:47.77 group therapy. 00:06:47.80\00:06:49.50 If need be, we can offer family therapy. 00:06:49.54\00:06:52.14 They receive therapist once a week from us 00:06:52.17\00:06:54.84 and more sometimes if necessary 00:06:54.88\00:06:56.58 depending on what their needs are. 00:06:56.61\00:06:58.35 In addition to that, if they need psychiatric care, 00:06:58.38\00:07:02.45 then we get them involved with psychiatrists 00:07:02.48\00:07:05.42 for medication issues. 00:07:05.45\00:07:07.02 So we actually have the children 00:07:07.06\00:07:08.46 that are more emotionally disturbed 00:07:08.49\00:07:09.82 than children in foster care. 00:07:09.86\00:07:11.19 So, we have fire starters, 00:07:11.23\00:07:14.00 the ones that are abusive to animals, 00:07:14.03\00:07:15.93 the ones that have sexual issues, 00:07:15.96\00:07:18.47 the ones that just simply need supervision 24 hours. 00:07:18.50\00:07:21.74 Yeah, but you have to understand that a child 00:07:21.77\00:07:23.27 has been physically abused, 00:07:23.30\00:07:24.77 that's how they're going to act out. 00:07:24.81\00:07:26.14 Probably is physically, 00:07:26.17\00:07:27.51 as child has been sexually abused, 00:07:27.54\00:07:28.88 may act out sexually. 00:07:28.91\00:07:30.25 They're communicating their pain 00:07:30.28\00:07:31.61 through their inappropriate behaviors. 00:07:31.65\00:07:32.98 Wow. 00:07:33.01\00:07:34.35 So it sounds like-- 00:07:34.38\00:07:35.72 Do you do all the care yourself or do you have staff? 00:07:35.75\00:07:37.72 We have a lot of help. We do. 00:07:37.75\00:07:39.75 What type of people help? 00:07:39.79\00:07:41.16 We may have between 22 to 32 individuals 00:07:41.19\00:07:45.06 that work with our program, 00:07:45.09\00:07:46.53 work with us with the children not including therapist. 00:07:46.56\00:07:50.40 The type of individuals that would look to work with us, 00:07:50.43\00:07:54.17 are those individuals, generally, 00:07:54.20\00:07:55.60 that are seeking to go into these type of fields. 00:07:55.64\00:07:57.91 And that's what we look for when we look for employees 00:07:57.94\00:08:00.04 'cause we like screen our employees 00:08:00.08\00:08:01.41 like we're screening children. 00:08:01.44\00:08:02.78 Because it's very important that the whole milieu fits. 00:08:02.81\00:08:04.61 Right. 00:08:04.65\00:08:05.98 So, we actually post jobs for, 00:08:06.01\00:08:09.12 for all those surrounding colleges which is four, right, 00:08:09.15\00:08:11.45 four surrounding colleges. 00:08:11.49\00:08:12.82 I think it's even more than that. 00:08:12.85\00:08:14.19 And so we actually look for people 00:08:14.22\00:08:16.06 that are interested in working with children, 00:08:16.09\00:08:18.46 that are studying in the social sciences. 00:08:18.49\00:08:20.13 But the majority of our, our employees 00:08:20.16\00:08:22.40 because they like it so much and it becomes, 00:08:22.43\00:08:25.00 like I said, you know, we try to create a family feel, 00:08:25.03\00:08:27.64 most of them come word of mouth. 00:08:27.67\00:08:29.00 Right. 00:08:29.04\00:08:30.37 Or from their college professor saying, 00:08:30.41\00:08:31.74 "Hey, listen, you know what, you're going in this field, 00:08:31.77\00:08:33.48 you need some work experience, call these people." 00:08:33.51\00:08:36.44 So you said you weren't sure, 00:08:36.48\00:08:37.81 you didn't know you wanted to do this from very beginning? 00:08:37.85\00:08:39.91 A long time. 00:08:39.95\00:08:41.28 You weren't sure that you wanted to do that. 00:08:41.32\00:08:43.35 How did you get started? 00:08:43.39\00:08:44.85 This sounds like a pretty big enterprise for newlyweds. 00:08:44.89\00:08:50.53 Well, let's see. 00:08:50.56\00:08:53.26 We started, it was you know, 00:08:53.29\00:08:54.63 was it something I wanted to do like I said, 00:08:54.66\00:08:56.00 my father, you know, with his line of work 00:08:56.03\00:08:58.97 really supported me or supported us. 00:08:59.00\00:09:03.71 We started out with absolutely nothing. 00:09:03.74\00:09:07.04 We lived over in a room, 00:09:07.08\00:09:08.91 over a garage for eight years with no heat. 00:09:08.94\00:09:12.21 Just trying to get the business going and-- 00:09:12.25\00:09:14.78 It felt like the room started at your desk and ended 00:09:14.82\00:09:17.29 with this chair, it was that's off. 00:09:17.32\00:09:19.49 That scenes were the first eight years of our marriage 00:09:19.52\00:09:21.92 but it all worked out and, we really enjoyed-- 00:09:21.96\00:09:25.79 Well, you know, honestly, I ran from it. 00:09:25.83\00:09:27.60 I mean, I wanted to support my wife of course, 00:09:27.63\00:09:31.00 this is what she wanted to do. 00:09:31.03\00:09:32.47 So, I felt well, God wanted me to support her. 00:09:32.50\00:09:35.90 But I found out 00:09:35.94\00:09:37.27 that I'm spending all of my extra time here 00:09:37.31\00:09:39.24 because they're having fun and doing all the fun things 00:09:39.27\00:09:43.08 that I enjoyed doing. 00:09:43.11\00:09:45.28 So after a couple of years of asking, she quit asking. 00:09:45.31\00:09:50.05 I did. I did. 00:09:50.09\00:09:51.42 And we started with six clients and now we have 18. 00:09:51.45\00:09:54.72 Eighteen children? Yes. 00:09:54.76\00:09:56.39 Now tell me about the home environment. 00:09:56.42\00:09:57.99 So you said you-- 00:09:58.03\00:09:59.36 The first home. What was that like? 00:09:59.39\00:10:00.73 I mean, what is the typical environment for these, 00:10:00.76\00:10:03.03 for the children? 00:10:03.06\00:10:04.40 Is it like a building that you have? 00:10:04.43\00:10:06.03 No, no, it's our home. We lived there first. 00:10:06.07\00:10:10.14 And then we moved to that little room over the garage. 00:10:10.17\00:10:15.54 How big is the home? 00:10:15.58\00:10:17.45 Well, the house is 3,000 square feet. 00:10:17.48\00:10:19.48 Around half an acre. 00:10:19.51\00:10:20.85 A little over half an acre. 00:10:20.88\00:10:22.22 And the other home is one acre. 00:10:22.25\00:10:23.92 Yes, but six years later, we after seeing siblings 00:10:23.95\00:10:28.69 not be able to grow up 00:10:28.72\00:10:32.09 with their brothers and sisters. 00:10:32.13\00:10:33.60 Right. We opened the girls' house. 00:10:33.63\00:10:35.26 That inspired us to open the girls' home. 00:10:35.30\00:10:36.87 And it showed us where the home was at. 00:10:36.90\00:10:39.07 Just, it actually showed her where the home 00:10:39.10\00:10:40.90 was at because she drove, she drove... 00:10:40.94\00:10:42.27 You tell 'em Tell me about that story. 00:10:42.30\00:10:44.14 Well, we submitted our application to expand. 00:10:44.17\00:10:47.38 And we could not find a location that we wanted. 00:10:47.41\00:10:50.48 Again I was driving by and I was like praying, 00:10:50.51\00:10:53.31 "Lord, if You could please just find a home for us." 00:10:53.35\00:10:56.75 Looked out, I pass this way every day, 00:10:56.79\00:10:59.69 and there was this huge sign saying "House for sale." 00:10:59.72\00:11:03.09 It only been up, the lady said, for three hours. 00:11:03.12\00:11:06.56 Three hours? Only been up three hours. 00:11:06.59\00:11:09.13 I called my husband and said 00:11:09.16\00:11:10.50 we have to go talk to this lady. 00:11:10.53\00:11:11.87 She did. 00:11:11.90\00:11:13.23 And it was only three and half miles from the house, 00:11:13.27\00:11:14.67 the first house, the boys' house. 00:11:14.70\00:11:16.04 The houses are a mile and half away. 00:11:16.07\00:11:19.21 Three minute drive, yeah. 00:11:19.24\00:11:20.58 Three minute drive from one house to the next. 00:11:20.61\00:11:22.54 And 20 minutes to walk it. 00:11:22.58\00:11:23.95 And I always tell our employees that 20 minutes to walk 00:11:23.98\00:11:26.25 is really important 00:11:26.28\00:11:27.78 because if you don't exercise young children, 00:11:27.82\00:11:30.19 young children will definitely exercise you. 00:11:30.22\00:11:32.09 So, you get out there and enjoy 00:11:33.19\00:11:35.19 but what was nice is that the God brought us 00:11:35.22\00:11:37.13 something that was only a mile and half away. 00:11:37.16\00:11:38.49 And they-- 00:11:38.53\00:11:39.86 Yeah. 00:11:39.89\00:11:41.23 That's at the Southern California at that. 00:11:41.26\00:11:42.60 So our second home is 4,000 square feet 00:11:42.63\00:11:44.63 on a little over acre. 00:11:44.67\00:11:46.00 Over acre. Wow. 00:11:46.03\00:11:47.37 And it's a little bit further out into the country. 00:11:47.40\00:11:49.94 Oh, that's awesome. 00:11:49.97\00:11:51.31 So how do you make this a home? 00:11:51.34\00:11:54.61 You said that it's not a office building, 00:11:54.64\00:11:56.68 it's not an institution. 00:11:56.71\00:11:59.85 Well, you fill it with love, you fill it with good memories. 00:11:59.88\00:12:02.78 My children come with a lot of bad memories. 00:12:02.82\00:12:06.15 So, you try to expose them to new things, 00:12:06.19\00:12:09.19 you try to teach them new ways. 00:12:09.22\00:12:12.69 What kind of... 00:12:12.73\00:12:14.06 My beautiful wife is a wonderful decorator. 00:12:14.10\00:12:17.73 You know, our girls' bathroom 00:12:17.77\00:12:19.83 actually has a chandelier hanging in it. 00:12:19.87\00:12:22.14 Wow. 00:12:22.17\00:12:23.51 Yes, yes, yes. 00:12:23.54\00:12:24.87 And it's very nicely decorated. 00:12:24.91\00:12:26.81 There's little 50s diner where they're eating that, 00:12:26.84\00:12:29.58 we're trying to make it fun because fun 00:12:29.61\00:12:31.18 is our number one motivator in dealing with children. 00:12:31.21\00:12:33.65 Oh, is that so? Yes. 00:12:33.68\00:12:35.02 So, you have to inspire them to want something different. 00:12:35.05\00:12:39.39 So now, the children all have their own space? 00:12:39.42\00:12:42.52 They do. 00:12:42.56\00:12:43.89 Two of them share a room. 00:12:43.93\00:12:45.79 Okay. Yeah. 00:12:45.83\00:12:47.23 So how did the kids come to you? 00:12:47.26\00:12:49.70 Well, they come to us through-- 00:12:49.73\00:12:52.37 Are they referred to you by friends or church? 00:12:52.40\00:12:55.40 No, through the counties, through someone, you know, 00:12:55.44\00:12:57.94 county, Riverside County, and Imperial County. 00:12:57.97\00:13:00.91 Imperial, Collin County, all of the surrounding counties, 00:13:00.94\00:13:03.24 San Diego County, we have had children from a, all over. 00:13:03.28\00:13:07.08 We, when we are full which is most of the time 00:13:07.12\00:13:10.85 unfortunately, we have 18 clients. 00:13:10.89\00:13:14.59 So, you start multiplying that by 17 years 00:13:14.62\00:13:19.53 of being in business? 00:13:19.56\00:13:20.90 Right. 00:13:20.93\00:13:22.26 And we have had hundreds of children. 00:13:22.30\00:13:24.97 So the phone gonna ring in the middle of the night-- 00:13:25.00\00:13:26.33 Wonderful. Yeah. Yeah. 00:13:26.37\00:13:27.70 So, the phone can ring in the middle of the night, 00:13:27.74\00:13:29.20 and there can be, maybe a drug bust or something going on. 00:13:29.24\00:13:32.51 And sometimes we get children in the middle of the night 00:13:32.54\00:13:34.18 in their little pajamas. 00:13:34.21\00:13:35.71 And they are so scared, and, you know, 00:13:35.74\00:13:38.35 they'll just stand holding teddy bear 00:13:38.38\00:13:40.28 and they don't know what to do. 00:13:40.32\00:13:41.65 And you can get them in the middle of the day, 00:13:41.68\00:13:43.02 the phone rings all the time. 00:13:43.05\00:13:44.39 We never know. 00:13:44.42\00:13:45.75 So, children come to us as young as seven years old. 00:13:45.79\00:13:47.56 In fact actually this morning, 00:13:47.59\00:13:48.92 I received a call from one of the counties, 00:13:48.96\00:13:52.33 for a seven year old that 00:13:52.36\00:13:53.80 we actually do not have room to take. 00:13:53.83\00:13:56.70 And often times, especially because that has become 00:13:56.73\00:14:01.27 what we are known to work well with is the younger children. 00:14:01.30\00:14:05.74 Although we are licensed through 00:14:05.77\00:14:07.64 a non-minor dependence... 00:14:07.68\00:14:11.15 There are no places for them. 00:14:11.18\00:14:13.48 So, you're saying that this is just such an important issue 00:14:13.52\00:14:17.55 that unfortunately, it's a crisis, 00:14:17.59\00:14:21.99 even where you're living. 00:14:22.02\00:14:23.36 Yes. 00:14:23.39\00:14:24.73 And of course, we're seeing this across the United States. 00:14:24.76\00:14:26.56 It's a crisis that so many children 00:14:26.59\00:14:28.93 are going through this. 00:14:28.96\00:14:30.90 And the God has given you all the ability to be able 00:14:30.93\00:14:34.70 to make a difference in the lives 00:14:34.74\00:14:36.71 of some of these precious children. 00:14:36.74\00:14:38.94 What kinds of fun things do you with the kids? 00:14:38.97\00:14:41.71 Well, got lots of fun things. 00:14:41.74\00:14:43.68 Fly kites, go to the beach... 00:14:43.71\00:14:47.92 camp. 00:14:47.95\00:14:49.28 I love camping, we love camping. 00:14:49.32\00:14:51.55 We have taken our children from California, 00:14:51.59\00:14:54.62 the Pacific Ocean all the way to the Atlantic Ocean. 00:14:54.66\00:14:57.83 We have even brought them here to 3ABN, or close to 3ABN. 00:14:57.86\00:15:00.63 Yes, we have been. Yes, they have been here. 00:15:00.66\00:15:03.06 We took a trip with a busted down van 00:15:03.10\00:15:05.33 when we first got started. 00:15:05.37\00:15:06.74 It was back in 2,000. 00:15:06.77\00:15:08.74 And we had five little boys with us. 00:15:08.77\00:15:13.58 And we went through the Rockies, 00:15:13.61\00:15:16.44 down through the plains, the southern plains of Kansas 00:15:16.48\00:15:19.35 and on toward, we ended up at Rin Lake out here, 00:15:19.38\00:15:22.55 at, by 3ABN. 00:15:22.58\00:15:24.25 We did, we did. 00:15:24.29\00:15:26.15 And then we went on to D.C. 00:15:26.19\00:15:27.56 I think that year we did 27 states in 35 days. 00:15:27.59\00:15:32.29 But, I have to tell you about the van. 00:15:32.33\00:15:33.66 The van was 12 years old. 00:15:33.70\00:15:36.73 And we left California with three good tires, 00:15:36.77\00:15:39.87 and one was just a prayer. 00:15:39.90\00:15:41.24 It was all busted. 00:15:41.27\00:15:42.60 By the time we came back, it was so painful. 00:15:42.64\00:15:43.97 One tire was bad. 00:15:44.01\00:15:45.34 But yeah, there was-- 00:15:45.37\00:15:46.71 That was all painful. 00:15:46.74\00:15:48.08 So now how do you travel with the kids? 00:15:48.11\00:15:49.44 Now we travel in an RUV. We do a little bit better now. 00:15:49.48\00:15:50.85 We do a little better. 00:15:50.88\00:15:52.35 I don't sleep with a foot in my face. 00:15:52.38\00:15:54.35 We do. 00:15:54.38\00:15:55.72 Well, when we first purchased the RUV, 00:15:55.75\00:15:57.45 we had to make some moderations we changed it 00:15:57.49\00:15:59.42 around so that it could accommodate more children. 00:15:59.45\00:16:01.06 More kid friendly. So yeah. 00:16:01.09\00:16:02.62 But even then, we still, I mean, it's camping. 00:16:02.66\00:16:05.09 You belong in a tent. 00:16:05.13\00:16:06.46 So, all the kids get their own tent? 00:16:06.49\00:16:07.96 Yeah. 00:16:08.00\00:16:09.33 Yeah, they definitely have tent. 00:16:09.36\00:16:11.13 They all have, they all have their own tents, 00:16:11.17\00:16:12.70 their own sleeping bag, everything. 00:16:12.73\00:16:14.77 They're able to put the tents up together themselves. 00:16:14.80\00:16:16.91 Yeah. 00:16:16.94\00:16:18.27 We practiced whatever we need... 00:16:18.31\00:16:19.64 And we get out make sure we have a great time. 00:16:19.67\00:16:21.34 And it's amazing because being out in nature 00:16:21.38\00:16:24.38 calms the children. 00:16:24.41\00:16:25.75 It really does. 00:16:25.78\00:16:27.12 And being out in the areas 00:16:27.15\00:16:28.48 that they are not used to in like for a-- 00:16:28.52\00:16:29.92 It draws us closer and builds trust. 00:16:29.95\00:16:31.92 Yeoman in Yellow Stone or out by us 00:16:31.95\00:16:35.59 is you'll see many are Mammoth Lakes. 00:16:35.62\00:16:38.09 They learn to trust each other, 00:16:38.13\00:16:40.63 and trust in us a little bit more as well. 00:16:40.66\00:16:42.36 So, I understand that just from your experiences 00:16:42.40\00:16:46.70 something wonderful happened with you, 00:16:46.74\00:16:49.10 Cheryl, you wrote a book? 00:16:49.14\00:16:50.54 Yes, yes, I did. 00:16:50.57\00:16:51.91 Tell us about the book. 00:16:51.94\00:16:53.27 What's the title? You have it with you? 00:16:53.31\00:16:54.64 Yes, I do. Oh there it is, right there. 00:16:54.68\00:16:56.98 Okay, so tell us about... 00:16:57.01\00:16:58.65 It's called "The Wedding Cake Book, 00:16:58.68\00:17:00.62 " and a girl's guide to good choices. 00:17:00.65\00:17:03.18 It's a book to be used as a tool 00:17:03.22\00:17:05.09 to speak to young ladies about the importance of abstinence, 00:17:05.12\00:17:08.59 and the consequences of premarital sex. 00:17:08.62\00:17:10.63 Okay. 00:17:10.66\00:17:11.99 So how did that come to be? 00:17:12.03\00:17:15.33 What, you know, had you written other books before? 00:17:15.36\00:17:17.73 No, no. 00:17:17.77\00:17:19.10 Writing a book was something I'd never aspired to do. 00:17:19.13\00:17:21.57 No desire to ever write a book. 00:17:21.60\00:17:23.41 But I found that I was struggling 00:17:23.44\00:17:25.97 with talking to our girls, 00:17:26.01\00:17:28.01 about the importance of respecting their bodies. 00:17:28.04\00:17:30.81 And I was continually getting calls 00:17:30.85\00:17:33.75 from the principal about finding my girls 00:17:33.78\00:17:36.58 in inappropriate situations 00:17:36.62\00:17:39.09 and when they'd come home, 00:17:39.12\00:17:40.56 I would just try to speak to them 00:17:40.59\00:17:42.56 about the importance of respecting their bodies 00:17:42.59\00:17:44.13 and making good choices. 00:17:44.16\00:17:46.09 And I wasn't very good at it. 00:17:46.13\00:17:48.13 I wasn't reaching them and I felt really frustrated. 00:17:48.16\00:17:51.57 I actually went to a large local bookstore, 00:17:51.60\00:17:54.10 and I was speaking to the lady at the store. 00:17:54.14\00:17:57.07 And I said, you know, "Do you have anything 00:17:57.11\00:17:58.54 that I can use as a guide to talk 00:17:58.57\00:18:00.28 to these young girls about abstinence?" 00:18:00.31\00:18:03.58 And, you know, she went to her computer and she is just, 00:18:03.61\00:18:06.15 you know, "We don't have anything here." 00:18:06.18\00:18:08.75 So, I left and I just, you know, 00:18:08.78\00:18:10.75 a couple of weeks passed and I got another call 00:18:10.79\00:18:13.39 from the principal and... 00:18:13.42\00:18:15.99 This time I started praying. 00:18:16.02\00:18:17.43 I was driving to the girls' house and I said, 00:18:17.46\00:18:20.10 "Lord, if You could please just give me 00:18:20.13\00:18:22.13 something to help these girls." 00:18:22.16\00:18:24.47 Yes. 00:18:24.50\00:18:25.83 You know, I really need to reach them. 00:18:25.87\00:18:27.80 And in about three minutes, 00:18:27.84\00:18:30.34 all these different ideas starting to pop into my head. 00:18:30.37\00:18:33.64 Wow. 00:18:33.68\00:18:35.01 It was almost like I was brain storming, 00:18:35.04\00:18:36.38 like anything that I had to do with little girls 00:18:36.41\00:18:38.11 was just popping in my head like Barbies, 00:18:38.15\00:18:40.35 Princess, things like that. 00:18:40.38\00:18:42.22 By the time, I got out of my car, got to the door, 00:18:42.25\00:18:44.59 I had the metaphor of "The wedding cake" 00:18:44.62\00:18:46.92 in my head. 00:18:46.96\00:18:48.69 And I was speaking to little girl, 00:18:48.72\00:18:51.39 we went to the backroom, 00:18:51.43\00:18:52.76 and I started sharing this new idea 00:18:52.79\00:18:55.10 that I had in my head with her. 00:18:55.13\00:18:57.03 And she looked at me and she said, 00:18:57.07\00:18:58.43 "Cheryl, I understand 00:18:58.47\00:19:00.30 what you've been trying to tell me now." 00:19:00.34\00:19:02.57 And I said, "You do?" 00:19:02.60\00:19:03.94 I was surprised. 00:19:03.97\00:19:05.31 And so I just, over the year, 00:19:05.34\00:19:06.68 I just started developing a story 00:19:06.71\00:19:08.04 and it started growing. 00:19:08.08\00:19:09.41 So for five years, I used the metaphor, 00:19:09.44\00:19:11.61 "The wedding cake". 00:19:11.65\00:19:12.98 And at one staff meeting, one of my employees said to me 00:19:13.01\00:19:18.15 we got a new client and she says, 00:19:18.19\00:19:19.92 "Mrs. Cheryl, we need to share the story with another girl, 00:19:19.95\00:19:22.02 a new girl." 00:19:22.06\00:19:23.39 And I said "Okay. In next week, I will do that." 00:19:23.43\00:19:25.69 So David here, my husband-- 00:19:25.73\00:19:27.26 During the staff meeting. 00:19:27.30\00:19:28.70 In the staff meeting, they are like, "Oh, Mrs. Cheryl, 00:19:28.73\00:19:32.07 so and so needs you to talk to her about the Wedding Cake." 00:19:32.10\00:19:37.24 And wedding cake? 00:19:37.27\00:19:39.27 And one of my male staff's like "Wedding cake, 00:19:39.31\00:19:40.88 I want some wedding cake. 00:19:40.91\00:19:42.24 I love wedding cake." 00:19:42.28\00:19:43.71 Yeah, who doesn't love cake, right? 00:19:43.75\00:19:45.45 So, you know, I asked her about it. 00:19:45.48\00:19:49.15 And she is like, "Don't worry about it, it's nothing." 00:19:49.18\00:19:51.55 So it kind of out of sight, out of mind. 00:19:51.59\00:19:54.72 And it comes up again. 00:19:54.76\00:19:56.96 So I said, "What is this about the Wedding cake?" 00:19:56.99\00:20:00.00 And-- 00:20:00.03\00:20:01.36 So we got home. 00:20:01.40\00:20:03.37 I have been using for like five years 00:20:03.40\00:20:04.80 to talk to the girls about the importance 00:20:04.83\00:20:06.20 of abstinence and respecting their bodies. 00:20:06.23\00:20:08.64 So, we get to home and he, I was sitting on the couch 00:20:08.67\00:20:11.47 and David, he is lot bigger than I am, 00:20:11.51\00:20:13.11 takes his leg and lays it over my leg and he says, 00:20:13.14\00:20:15.98 "I am not gonna let you up until you tell me 00:20:16.01\00:20:18.65 about this metaphor and this wedding cake." 00:20:18.68\00:20:20.25 Okay, good. 00:20:20.28\00:20:21.62 Let's take a look at that book, please. 00:20:21.65\00:20:24.99 What a beautiful cover it is? 00:20:25.02\00:20:26.62 Thank you. 00:20:26.65\00:20:27.99 Beautiful green, The Wedding Cake. 00:20:28.02\00:20:29.99 Oh, this seems very interesting picture on the back. 00:20:30.03\00:20:32.73 Yes, it is. 00:20:32.76\00:20:34.10 It's got a bride in the middle, has two boys. 00:20:34.13\00:20:36.93 Yeah, one was the groom holding the crumbs 00:20:36.97\00:20:39.00 and the other is the young man 00:20:39.03\00:20:40.84 that has enjoyed the wedding cake. 00:20:40.87\00:20:43.77 Now, let's look into it and see what's inside, everybody. 00:20:43.81\00:20:46.47 Okay. 00:20:46.51\00:20:48.94 So, this looks like the beginning, 00:20:48.98\00:20:51.51 got a lot of presents, beautiful gifts, okay. 00:20:51.55\00:20:54.82 What does this picture represent? 00:20:54.85\00:20:56.42 The perfect wedding cake. 00:20:56.45\00:20:58.59 So, the wedding cake historically has been a symbol 00:20:58.62\00:21:02.22 of fertility for the women, and so, 00:21:02.26\00:21:07.63 I just had my illustrator put the perfect cake 00:21:07.66\00:21:10.60 there just displaying the table cloth and the knife, 00:21:10.63\00:21:14.84 and the, what you're gonna be using for the first time. 00:21:14.87\00:21:17.51 And as I understand it, that's our child. 00:21:17.54\00:21:20.84 Right. 00:21:20.88\00:21:22.21 Wow, okay. 00:21:22.24\00:21:23.88 Let's go to another picture. 00:21:23.91\00:21:26.95 Seemed things have changed, what's going on here? 00:21:26.98\00:21:29.82 Well, I used the wedding cake as a metaphor. 00:21:29.85\00:21:32.99 So as you flip through the pages of the book, 00:21:33.02\00:21:36.39 you're going to see that with each choice 00:21:36.42\00:21:38.53 that you make with each young boy, 00:21:38.56\00:21:41.26 your wedding cake is going to transform. 00:21:41.30\00:21:43.57 So it's going to go from the perfect wedding cake 00:21:43.60\00:21:46.47 to this particular illustration 00:21:46.50\00:21:48.17 it has the cake tilted a little bit, 00:21:48.20\00:21:50.81 and it has the finger swipe. 00:21:50.84\00:21:53.07 Finger swipe. 00:21:53.11\00:21:55.28 That would be the boy that just wanted it a little taste. 00:21:55.31\00:21:59.41 This one says the second boy. 00:21:59.45\00:22:01.05 The second boy again, the cake transforms. 00:22:01.08\00:22:04.25 So now, you have a cake that has, it's tilted even more. 00:22:04.29\00:22:08.42 It has the fingers swiped from the first boy along 00:22:08.46\00:22:12.03 with the bite out of the cake from the second boy. 00:22:12.06\00:22:14.00 Oh, my... 00:22:18.57\00:22:20.40 Yes. Tell us about it. 00:22:20.44\00:22:21.77 The third boy. 00:22:21.80\00:22:24.04 He has eaten some of the lovely 00:22:24.07\00:22:26.17 little pink flowers off of the cake. 00:22:26.21\00:22:28.41 And the cake is tilted even more. 00:22:28.44\00:22:31.45 You have the bite and the finger swipe. 00:22:31.48\00:22:33.98 So, basically as you go through the book, 00:22:34.02\00:22:36.18 all the illustrations are simply just showing you 00:22:36.22\00:22:39.52 how with the choices you make... 00:22:39.55\00:22:42.29 Yes, yes, you can see that the icings, the-- 00:22:42.32\00:22:46.80 Icing is off the cake. 00:22:46.83\00:22:48.16 Is there any icing left? 00:22:48.20\00:22:49.53 Just a little bit icing. 00:22:49.56\00:22:50.90 All the roses are gone. 00:22:50.93\00:22:52.27 There's a little bit of icing left. 00:22:52.30\00:22:53.64 But it just, the illustrations are powerful 00:22:53.67\00:22:56.60 for young girls, because it actually shows you 00:22:56.64\00:22:59.94 how your choices affect your body. 00:22:59.97\00:23:02.01 Yes, that's one of my favorite pictures there. 00:23:02.04\00:23:04.58 Why? 00:23:04.61\00:23:06.38 Because it's the result of all your bad choices. 00:23:06.41\00:23:09.72 And you can clearly see it. 00:23:09.75\00:23:11.09 So it clearly shows it? Yes. 00:23:11.12\00:23:12.45 There is no icing on that cake. 00:23:12.49\00:23:13.82 No, not. Not one drop. 00:23:13.86\00:23:15.69 Shows everything? Yes. 00:23:15.72\00:23:18.49 Yes, it does. 00:23:18.53\00:23:22.40 And that one, I like it because it just kind of speaks 00:23:22.43\00:23:28.20 to what the choices you've made, 00:23:28.24\00:23:31.21 how they are going to affect the husband, your-- 00:23:31.24\00:23:33.34 The man you chose to marry. 00:23:33.38\00:23:35.34 And I like the little napkin on that guy 00:23:35.38\00:23:38.11 who has been eating your cake, how his face looks, and-- 00:23:38.15\00:23:40.82 You know, to me that picture right there kind of-- 00:23:40.85\00:23:43.12 Kind of says it all, kind of sums everything up to you, 00:23:43.15\00:23:45.75 how your choices are. 00:23:45.79\00:23:47.39 What does it say? How to fix. 00:23:47.42\00:23:48.92 Well, you know, one guy said 00:23:48.96\00:23:50.99 that they are licking his chops, 00:23:51.03\00:23:52.36 'cause he has enjoyed everything 00:23:52.39\00:23:53.90 when the person who was going to commit is a, 00:23:53.93\00:23:56.26 you know, more or less left with all the fall out 00:23:56.30\00:24:01.27 of what happens with relationships 00:24:01.30\00:24:03.41 when you have these the choices. 00:24:03.44\00:24:05.74 And it's all everything that you're bringing to a marriage. 00:24:05.77\00:24:07.94 And then the young lady looks like 00:24:07.98\00:24:09.38 she is kind of trying to deal with all of her choices 00:24:09.41\00:24:11.38 right there on her wedding day 00:24:11.41\00:24:12.91 looking at her husband's expression. 00:24:12.95\00:24:15.15 Wow. 00:24:15.18\00:24:20.46 Now this is when you get a little bit more explicit 00:24:20.49\00:24:22.46 and you start teaching the girls? 00:24:22.49\00:24:24.16 Right. 00:24:24.19\00:24:25.53 So this-- 00:24:25.56\00:24:26.90 It's actually transmitted diseases, and other things? 00:24:26.93\00:24:29.20 So in this book, I, again, it's a guide. 00:24:29.23\00:24:32.23 So you're going to use this book 00:24:32.27\00:24:34.17 according to where your child is 00:24:34.20\00:24:36.00 and according to the questions that they ask you. 00:24:36.04\00:24:37.61 So you can go into more detail, 00:24:37.64\00:24:39.37 or you can just kind of just stay general, 00:24:39.41\00:24:40.98 depending again on where your child is. 00:24:41.01\00:24:42.91 So I actually address three different consequences, 00:24:42.94\00:24:46.51 or possible consequences of having premarital sex. 00:24:46.55\00:24:49.18 I might address the STDs, 00:24:49.22\00:24:51.45 and if you look at the illustration, 00:24:51.49\00:24:53.52 it kind of shows, 00:24:53.56\00:24:55.46 it has the symptom of STDs on the actual wedding cake. 00:24:55.49\00:25:00.23 And so depending on where your child is-- 00:25:00.26\00:25:02.16 Little bugs in. 00:25:02.20\00:25:04.23 Bugs? It depends on-- 00:25:04.27\00:25:05.83 So it shows the symptoms of STDs. 00:25:05.87\00:25:08.30 So that illustration you can actually go into more detail 00:25:08.34\00:25:11.41 with your daughter, a young lady, 00:25:11.44\00:25:13.58 or you can keep it more general depending on again 00:25:13.61\00:25:15.68 where she is. 00:25:15.71\00:25:17.05 So it addresses that. 00:25:17.08\00:25:18.41 It also addresses on the possibility of pregnancy. 00:25:18.45\00:25:21.75 And how that's gonna affect your life... 00:25:21.78\00:25:24.55 forever. 00:25:24.59\00:25:26.02 And how that's going to affect your child's life. 00:25:26.05\00:25:28.52 And then I also talk about the emotional aspect 00:25:28.56\00:25:30.93 of having premarital sex. 00:25:30.96\00:25:34.90 And that is where you're in life 00:25:34.93\00:25:37.77 and how you're going to deal with those. 00:25:37.80\00:25:39.13 And how you could possibly carry over those feelings 00:25:39.17\00:25:41.27 into your future relationships. 00:25:41.30\00:25:43.71 Wow. 00:25:43.74\00:25:45.07 And that was happening in this picture here? 00:25:45.11\00:25:47.34 You know, everyone is affected in the relationship 00:25:47.38\00:25:49.84 by the choices that we make. 00:25:49.88\00:25:51.91 That's very true. That's very true. 00:25:51.95\00:25:53.28 It is. Yes, it is. 00:25:53.31\00:25:54.65 What about this picture, Cheryl? 00:25:54.68\00:25:56.38 That picture, I really like that picture. 00:25:56.42\00:25:58.39 Because I like the fact that it shows redemption, 00:25:58.42\00:26:01.72 and I-- 00:26:01.76\00:26:03.09 I like the fact that it had all those different 00:26:03.12\00:26:06.80 words of encouragement for each girl. 00:26:06.83\00:26:09.53 A lot of our girls are victims. 00:26:09.56\00:26:11.73 And they've had things happened to them 00:26:11.77\00:26:13.47 that's by no choices of their own. 00:26:13.50\00:26:15.40 And so, I didn't want them to feel damaged, 00:26:15.44\00:26:17.07 I wanted them to have hope. 00:26:17.11\00:26:18.57 So that's what that picture basically represents. 00:26:18.61\00:26:20.48 It's beautiful. 00:26:20.51\00:26:21.84 They are rebuilding the wedding cake. 00:26:21.88\00:26:24.11 We can rebuild the cake. 00:26:24.15\00:26:25.48 Until it's beautiful and perfect just like before. 00:26:25.51\00:26:29.58 I love this book, it's so nice. 00:26:29.62\00:26:31.45 Thank you, thank you. 00:26:31.49\00:26:32.92 So tell me about All God's children. 00:26:32.95\00:26:34.69 How can people get into contact with you? 00:26:34.72\00:26:36.52 You obviously have a book, 00:26:36.56\00:26:37.89 so that means you do training as well? 00:26:37.93\00:26:39.36 Both of you? 00:26:39.39\00:26:40.73 Well, you can contact us through AllGodsChildren.net 00:26:40.76\00:26:42.93 which is our website. 00:26:42.96\00:26:45.97 And you can, we can purchase the book? 00:26:46.00\00:26:47.70 AllGodsChildren.us. 00:26:47.74\00:26:50.11 AllGodsChildren.us. Yes. 00:26:50.14\00:26:53.51 And we can get the book from the website? 00:26:53.54\00:26:55.41 You can order the book from the website... 00:26:55.44\00:26:57.31 TheWeddingcakebook.net. 00:26:57.35\00:26:59.91 TheWeddingcakebook.net? 00:26:59.95\00:27:02.25 Yes, and you guys are available to be able to travel 00:27:02.28\00:27:06.45 and to be able to help other people 00:27:06.49\00:27:08.32 who are going through some of these things. 00:27:08.36\00:27:10.73 But you have resources on your website? 00:27:10.76\00:27:12.73 Yes, you can contact us through the website, 00:27:12.76\00:27:15.36 or through the 3ABN. 00:27:15.40\00:27:16.77 Fantastic. Fantastic. 00:27:16.80\00:27:18.77 Well, I certainly appreciate your coming and sharing this. 00:27:18.80\00:27:21.07 We enjoyed being here. Well, thank you for having us. 00:27:21.10\00:27:22.60 I wanted to just ask you-- Oh, I am sorry, yes. 00:27:22.64\00:27:26.14 Can you tell me one quick, quick story how is this? 00:27:26.17\00:27:29.14 How is the book? 00:27:29.18\00:27:30.51 What's been the result of the book? 00:27:30.55\00:27:31.88 Has it made a difference with the girls 00:27:31.91\00:27:33.25 that you're working with? 00:27:33.28\00:27:34.62 It has. 00:27:34.65\00:27:35.98 I have to tell you, the book is very effective. 00:27:36.02\00:27:37.49 And what is so inspirational to me 00:27:37.52\00:27:41.39 is that it was a gift to her from God, 00:27:41.42\00:27:44.29 in a very disparate movement. 00:27:44.33\00:27:46.49 And it works. Praise God. 00:27:46.53\00:27:49.03 Well, thank you guys so much, David and Cheryl, 00:27:49.06\00:27:51.70 for coming to the program today. 00:27:51.73\00:27:53.70 Thank you for sharing about the Wedding Cake. 00:27:53.74\00:27:55.94 You know, 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that 00:27:55.97\00:27:59.41 "If anyone is in Christ, man, woman, boy or girl, 00:27:59.44\00:28:03.31 that he is a new creature. 00:28:03.35\00:28:05.15 Old things are passed away. 00:28:05.18\00:28:07.22 We are the workmanship of God, created unto good works." 00:28:07.25\00:28:11.69 That is a message full of hope for everyone. 00:28:11.72\00:28:14.92 Thank you for joining us today. 00:28:14.96\00:28:16.42 Have a blessed day. 00:28:16.46\00:28:17.96