Welcome to Issues & Answers.
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Did you know that the prevalence
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of child's sexual abuse
is difficult to determine
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because it is
often not reported.
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Experts agree that the incidents
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are far greater than
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what is reported to authorities.
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Our guests today are
gonna talk about this subject.
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It is Cheryl Williams
Jones and David W Jones II.
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Cheryl received a
degree in Human Development
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from California
State University,
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San Bernardino.
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She is the
author of the new book,
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'The Wedding Cake' a
girl's guide to good choices.
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Cheryl is the
President and Co-founder
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along with her husband David,
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of 'All Of God's Children',
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a non-profit organization
that strives to guide
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and improve the
lives of children
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who have been
victims of physical
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and emotional abuse.
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She's been
featured on many platforms
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including the radio show,
Rave Women in Los Angeles.
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Cheryl is married to David.
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And David attended
La Sierra University.
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He is a certified Therapeutic
Crisis Intervention trainer
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through Cornell University.
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David and Cheryl had
been married 15 years
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and have been taking
care of 'All God's Children'
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from the very beginning.
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Welcome to the
program, Cheryl and David.
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So glad you could come.
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Thank you so much
for having us, Karen.
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Thank you very
much for having us.
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So, first I'm gonna ask you,
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did you have any idea
that you were gonna be involved
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in a work with
children who have been abused?
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Well, I have.
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This is a dream
come true for me.
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I have wanted to do this
since I was a very young child.
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Really?
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So, yes, this is something
that I have always wanted to do.
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Yes, for me, growing up,
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this was not part
of my life experience,
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knowing anything about
children in this form of care.
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But it's funny how
life brings you full circle.
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And brings you even to
some of your past experience,
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past experience of
your, of generations
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that you didn't even know
were available or were there.
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My grandmother actually
grew up not too far from here
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in a Catholic orphanage
out of St. Louis, Missouri.
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And growing up, you
know, you would hear stories.
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You know, you would
hear about large orphanages
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and that sort of thing.
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Right.
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But as it is
presented today, you know,
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I didn't even know that
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that was out there or available.
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My first job out of high school,
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I was a camp counselor.
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And now I find myself working
with children all over again.
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Even though this is not
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what I had designed for my life.
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I guess, this is what
God designed for my life
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which is always more important.
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Amen. Amen.
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Now you said that
you actually planned to--
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What did you planned
since you were a small girl?
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Well, my dad's a
retired social worker.
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And he would come home
and share stories with us
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about how
difficult it was to place
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a large family of siblings.
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And those stories
would touch me and I,
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you know, as I got older,
that's something that I just,
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you know, always wanted to do.
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Now did you come from a
perfect family yourself?
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Had you ever had any type
of crisis that would help you
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to be able to
relate to the children
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that you are helping now?
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No, it's just, you
know, listening to my father
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and him sharing the stories
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and his struggle of
finding good quality homes
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for the children.
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I remember one of
his stories in particular
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he shared with me was
about there were six siblings,
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ages range from
infancy to about 13.
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And how, when it
was time to place them,
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they just simply did
not have the placement
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for six children,
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having all have to be separated.
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And stories like
that really inspired me
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to do what I'm doing today.
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Okay.
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So before you got,
before you found it,
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'All God's Children',
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what type of work
were you involved with?
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I was in telecommunications.
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Telecommunications? Yes.
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And I understand
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that you also were a
Big Sister at one point?
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Yes, I was volunteer Big Sister.
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I also did volunteer work
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at Juvenile Hall at
Riverside, California.
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Volunteered?
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Yes, I was a
volunteer counselor.
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I work with boys...
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ages, I think, it
was ten to twelve.
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And I also worked at
other residential homes.
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So what was, you
guys have group homes.
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Is that right?
Residential Care, yes.
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Residential Care?
What's the difference?
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Well--
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Well, we
actually just don't like
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that connotation because--
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It sounds too institutionalized.
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Yes. Okay.
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And so we more call it a home.
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So what we do, we
work with children
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that are most at
risk that are out there.
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Because of the behaviors
that they, that they present,
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because of that all the
trauma that has occurred
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in their lives, they act out.
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It's no surprise to
us that they act out
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because you would kind of expect
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you've been through all of this.
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But the scene is
that they don't have
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the coping skills
that we have or that--
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Children that would
be in a more established
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or traditional home might have.
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And so they haven't
developed those skills
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but they've
learned ways to survive.
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They've got, they have,
what we call survival skills.
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And so they act out
in very bizarre ways and,
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you know, when you see
that and it's presented,
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then we are willing to work
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with those
challenging behaviors.
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But what happens that
once you start saying,
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you know, put it into a
more facility type term,
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then it makes the
children feel like
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they're more of in
a facility type place.
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We want them to feel
like they're at home.
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So, we reference
where they live is home.
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As home?
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Not as a group
home, it's just a home.
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So, we have a home for boys
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and we have a
home for our girls.
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We do. Okay.
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So now, is this the
same as foster care?
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Well it's actually a
step above foster care.
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Yes. It's a step above.
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well it's a more therapeutic
structured environment,
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and there's someone
awake 24hours for supervision.
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So the children
that are in our care
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have not been able to maintain
their placement in foster care.
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So the system
has required for them
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to actually
move to higher level.
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There's more therapy,
there's more testing and,
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so that's what...
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So, our children
receive therapy from us.
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They receive individual therapy,
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group therapy.
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If need be, we can
offer family therapy.
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They receive
therapist once a week from us
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and more sometimes if necessary
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depending on
what their needs are.
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In addition to that, if
they need psychiatric care,
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then we get them
involved with psychiatrists
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for medication issues.
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So we actually have the children
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that are more
emotionally disturbed
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than children in foster care.
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So, we have fire starters,
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the ones that are
abusive to animals,
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the ones that
have sexual issues,
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the ones that just simply
need supervision 24 hours.
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Yeah, but you have to
understand that a child
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has been physically abused,
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that's how
they're going to act out.
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Probably is physically,
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as child has
been sexually abused,
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may act out sexually.
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They're communicating their pain
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through their
inappropriate behaviors.
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Wow.
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So it sounds like--
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Do you do all the care
yourself or do you have staff?
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We have a lot of help. We do.
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What type of people help?
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We may have between
22 to 32 individuals
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that work with our program,
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work with us with the children
not including therapist.
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The type of individuals
that would look to work with us,
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are those
individuals, generally,
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that are seeking to go
into these type of fields.
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And that's what we look
for when we look for employees
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'cause we like
screen our employees
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like we're screening children.
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Because it's very important
that the whole milieu fits.
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Right.
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So, we actually post jobs for,
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for all those surrounding
colleges which is four, right,
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four surrounding colleges.
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I think it's
even more than that.
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And so we
actually look for people
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that are interested
in working with children,
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that are studying
in the social sciences.
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But the majority
of our, our employees
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because they like it
so much and it becomes,
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like I said, you know, we
try to create a family feel,
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most of them come word of mouth.
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Right.
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Or from their
college professor saying,
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"Hey, listen, you know what,
you're going in this field,
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you need some work
experience, call these people."
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So you said you weren't sure,
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you didn't know you wanted
to do this from very beginning?
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A long time.
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You weren't sure that
you wanted to do that.
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How did you get started?
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This sounds like a pretty
big enterprise for newlyweds.
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Well, let's see.
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We started, it was you know,
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was it something I
wanted to do like I said,
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my father, you know,
with his line of work
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really supported
me or supported us.
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We started out
with absolutely nothing.
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We lived over in a room,
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over a garage for
eight years with no heat.
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Just trying to get
the business going and--
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It felt like the room
started at your desk and ended
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with this chair,
it was that's off.
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That scenes were the first
eight years of our marriage
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but it all worked out
and, we really enjoyed--
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Well, you know,
honestly, I ran from it.
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I mean, I wanted to
support my wife of course,
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this is what she wanted to do.
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So, I felt well, God
wanted me to support her.
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But I found out
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that I'm spending
all of my extra time here
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because they're having fun
and doing all the fun things
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that I enjoyed doing.
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So after a couple of years
of asking, she quit asking.
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I did. I did.
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And we started with six
clients and now we have 18.
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Eighteen children? Yes.
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Now tell me about
the home environment.
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So you said you--
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The first home.
What was that like?
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I mean, what is the
typical environment for these,
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for the children?
00:10:03.06\00:10:04.40
Is it like a
building that you have?
00:10:04.43\00:10:06.03
No, no, it's our
home. We lived there first.
00:10:06.07\00:10:10.14
And then we moved to that
little room over the garage.
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How big is the home?
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Well, the house
is 3,000 square feet.
00:10:17.48\00:10:19.48
Around half an acre.
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A little over half an acre.
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And the other home is one acre.
00:10:22.25\00:10:23.92
Yes, but six years
later, we after seeing siblings
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not be able to grow up
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with their brothers and sisters.
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Right. We opened
the girls' house.
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That inspired us to
open the girls' home.
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And it showed us
where the home was at.
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Just, it actually
showed her where the home
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was at because she
drove, she drove...
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You tell 'em Tell
me about that story.
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Well, we submitted
our application to expand.
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And we could not find a
location that we wanted.
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Again I was driving by
and I was like praying,
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"Lord, if You could
please just find a home for us."
00:10:53.35\00:10:56.75
Looked out, I pass
this way every day,
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and there was this huge
sign saying "House for sale."
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It only been up, the
lady said, for three hours.
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Three hours? Only
been up three hours.
00:11:06.59\00:11:09.13
I called my husband and said
00:11:09.16\00:11:10.50
we have to go talk to this lady.
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She did.
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And it was only three and
half miles from the house,
00:11:13.27\00:11:14.67
the first
house, the boys' house.
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The houses are a
mile and half away.
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Three minute drive, yeah.
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Three minute drive
from one house to the next.
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And 20 minutes to walk it.
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And I always tell our employees
that 20 minutes to walk
00:11:23.98\00:11:26.25
is really important
00:11:26.28\00:11:27.78
because if you don't
exercise young children,
00:11:27.82\00:11:30.19
young children will
definitely exercise you.
00:11:30.22\00:11:32.09
So, you get out there and enjoy
00:11:33.19\00:11:35.19
but what was nice is
that the God brought us
00:11:35.22\00:11:37.13
something that was
only a mile and half away.
00:11:37.16\00:11:38.49
And they--
00:11:38.53\00:11:39.86
Yeah.
00:11:39.89\00:11:41.23
That's at the
Southern California at that.
00:11:41.26\00:11:42.60
So our second home
is 4,000 square feet
00:11:42.63\00:11:44.63
on a little over acre.
00:11:44.67\00:11:46.00
Over acre. Wow.
00:11:46.03\00:11:47.37
And it's a little bit
further out into the country.
00:11:47.40\00:11:49.94
Oh, that's awesome.
00:11:49.97\00:11:51.31
So how do you make this a home?
00:11:51.34\00:11:54.61
You said that it's
not a office building,
00:11:54.64\00:11:56.68
it's not an institution.
00:11:56.71\00:11:59.85
Well, you fill it with love,
you fill it with good memories.
00:11:59.88\00:12:02.78
My children come with
a lot of bad memories.
00:12:02.82\00:12:06.15
So, you try to
expose them to new things,
00:12:06.19\00:12:09.19
you try to teach them new ways.
00:12:09.22\00:12:12.69
What kind of...
00:12:12.73\00:12:14.06
My beautiful wife is
a wonderful decorator.
00:12:14.10\00:12:17.73
You know, our girls' bathroom
00:12:17.77\00:12:19.83
actually has a
chandelier hanging in it.
00:12:19.87\00:12:22.14
Wow.
00:12:22.17\00:12:23.51
Yes, yes, yes.
00:12:23.54\00:12:24.87
And it's very nicely decorated.
00:12:24.91\00:12:26.81
There's little 50s diner
where they're eating that,
00:12:26.84\00:12:29.58
we're trying to
make it fun because fun
00:12:29.61\00:12:31.18
is our number one motivator
in dealing with children.
00:12:31.21\00:12:33.65
Oh, is that so? Yes.
00:12:33.68\00:12:35.02
So, you have to inspire them
to want something different.
00:12:35.05\00:12:39.39
So now, the children
all have their own space?
00:12:39.42\00:12:42.52
They do.
00:12:42.56\00:12:43.89
Two of them share a room.
00:12:43.93\00:12:45.79
Okay. Yeah.
00:12:45.83\00:12:47.23
So how did the kids come to you?
00:12:47.26\00:12:49.70
Well, they come to us through--
00:12:49.73\00:12:52.37
Are they referred to
you by friends or church?
00:12:52.40\00:12:55.40
No, through the counties,
through someone, you know,
00:12:55.44\00:12:57.94
county, Riverside
County, and Imperial County.
00:12:57.97\00:13:00.91
Imperial, Collin County,
all of the surrounding counties,
00:13:00.94\00:13:03.24
San Diego County, we have
had children from a, all over.
00:13:03.28\00:13:07.08
We, when we are full
which is most of the time
00:13:07.12\00:13:10.85
unfortunately,
we have 18 clients.
00:13:10.89\00:13:14.59
So, you start
multiplying that by 17 years
00:13:14.62\00:13:19.53
of being in business?
00:13:19.56\00:13:20.90
Right.
00:13:20.93\00:13:22.26
And we have had
hundreds of children.
00:13:22.30\00:13:24.97
So the phone gonna ring
in the middle of the night--
00:13:25.00\00:13:26.33
Wonderful. Yeah. Yeah.
00:13:26.37\00:13:27.70
So, the phone can ring
in the middle of the night,
00:13:27.74\00:13:29.20
and there can be, maybe a
drug bust or something going on.
00:13:29.24\00:13:32.51
And sometimes we get children
in the middle of the night
00:13:32.54\00:13:34.18
in their little pajamas.
00:13:34.21\00:13:35.71
And they are so
scared, and, you know,
00:13:35.74\00:13:38.35
they'll just
stand holding teddy bear
00:13:38.38\00:13:40.28
and they don't know what to do.
00:13:40.32\00:13:41.65
And you can get them
in the middle of the day,
00:13:41.68\00:13:43.02
the phone rings all the time.
00:13:43.05\00:13:44.39
We never know.
00:13:44.42\00:13:45.75
So, children come to us
as young as seven years old.
00:13:45.79\00:13:47.56
In fact actually this morning,
00:13:47.59\00:13:48.92
I received a call
from one of the counties,
00:13:48.96\00:13:52.33
for a seven year old that
00:13:52.36\00:13:53.80
we actually do
not have room to take.
00:13:53.83\00:13:56.70
And often times, especially
because that has become
00:13:56.73\00:14:01.27
what we are known to work well
with is the younger children.
00:14:01.30\00:14:05.74
Although we are licensed through
00:14:05.77\00:14:07.64
a non-minor dependence...
00:14:07.68\00:14:11.15
There are no places for them.
00:14:11.18\00:14:13.48
So, you're saying that this
is just such an important issue
00:14:13.52\00:14:17.55
that
unfortunately, it's a crisis,
00:14:17.59\00:14:21.99
even where you're living.
00:14:22.02\00:14:23.36
Yes.
00:14:23.39\00:14:24.73
And of course, we're seeing
this across the United States.
00:14:24.76\00:14:26.56
It's a crisis
that so many children
00:14:26.59\00:14:28.93
are going through this.
00:14:28.96\00:14:30.90
And the God has given you
all the ability to be able
00:14:30.93\00:14:34.70
to make a
difference in the lives
00:14:34.74\00:14:36.71
of some of these
precious children.
00:14:36.74\00:14:38.94
What kinds of fun
things do you with the kids?
00:14:38.97\00:14:41.71
Well, got lots of fun things.
00:14:41.74\00:14:43.68
Fly kites, go to the beach...
00:14:43.71\00:14:47.92
camp.
00:14:47.95\00:14:49.28
I love camping, we love camping.
00:14:49.32\00:14:51.55
We have taken our
children from California,
00:14:51.59\00:14:54.62
the Pacific Ocean all the
way to the Atlantic Ocean.
00:14:54.66\00:14:57.83
We have even brought them
here to 3ABN, or close to 3ABN.
00:14:57.86\00:15:00.63
Yes, we have been.
Yes, they have been here.
00:15:00.66\00:15:03.06
We took a trip
with a busted down van
00:15:03.10\00:15:05.33
when we first got started.
00:15:05.37\00:15:06.74
It was back in 2,000.
00:15:06.77\00:15:08.74
And we had five
little boys with us.
00:15:08.77\00:15:13.58
And we went through the Rockies,
00:15:13.61\00:15:16.44
down through the plains,
the southern plains of Kansas
00:15:16.48\00:15:19.35
and on toward, we ended
up at Rin Lake out here,
00:15:19.38\00:15:22.55
at, by 3ABN.
00:15:22.58\00:15:24.25
We did, we did.
00:15:24.29\00:15:26.15
And then we went on to D.C.
00:15:26.19\00:15:27.56
I think that year we
did 27 states in 35 days.
00:15:27.59\00:15:32.29
But, I have to
tell you about the van.
00:15:32.33\00:15:33.66
The van was 12 years old.
00:15:33.70\00:15:36.73
And we left California
with three good tires,
00:15:36.77\00:15:39.87
and one was just a prayer.
00:15:39.90\00:15:41.24
It was all busted.
00:15:41.27\00:15:42.60
By the time we came
back, it was so painful.
00:15:42.64\00:15:43.97
One tire was bad.
00:15:44.01\00:15:45.34
But yeah, there was--
00:15:45.37\00:15:46.71
That was all painful.
00:15:46.74\00:15:48.08
So now how do you
travel with the kids?
00:15:48.11\00:15:49.44
Now we travel in an RUV.
We do a little bit better now.
00:15:49.48\00:15:50.85
We do a little better.
00:15:50.88\00:15:52.35
I don't sleep
with a foot in my face.
00:15:52.38\00:15:54.35
We do.
00:15:54.38\00:15:55.72
Well, when we
first purchased the RUV,
00:15:55.75\00:15:57.45
we had to make some
moderations we changed it
00:15:57.49\00:15:59.42
around so that it could
accommodate more children.
00:15:59.45\00:16:01.06
More kid friendly. So yeah.
00:16:01.09\00:16:02.62
But even then, we
still, I mean, it's camping.
00:16:02.66\00:16:05.09
You belong in a tent.
00:16:05.13\00:16:06.46
So, all the kids
get their own tent?
00:16:06.49\00:16:07.96
Yeah.
00:16:08.00\00:16:09.33
Yeah, they definitely have tent.
00:16:09.36\00:16:11.13
They all have, they
all have their own tents,
00:16:11.17\00:16:12.70
their own
sleeping bag, everything.
00:16:12.73\00:16:14.77
They're able to put the
tents up together themselves.
00:16:14.80\00:16:16.91
Yeah.
00:16:16.94\00:16:18.27
We practiced whatever we need...
00:16:18.31\00:16:19.64
And we get out make
sure we have a great time.
00:16:19.67\00:16:21.34
And it's amazing
because being out in nature
00:16:21.38\00:16:24.38
calms the children.
00:16:24.41\00:16:25.75
It really does.
00:16:25.78\00:16:27.12
And being out in the areas
00:16:27.15\00:16:28.48
that they are not
used to in like for a--
00:16:28.52\00:16:29.92
It draws us
closer and builds trust.
00:16:29.95\00:16:31.92
Yeoman in Yellow
Stone or out by us
00:16:31.95\00:16:35.59
is you'll see
many are Mammoth Lakes.
00:16:35.62\00:16:38.09
They learn to trust each other,
00:16:38.13\00:16:40.63
and trust in us a
little bit more as well.
00:16:40.66\00:16:42.36
So, I understand that
just from your experiences
00:16:42.40\00:16:46.70
something
wonderful happened with you,
00:16:46.74\00:16:49.10
Cheryl, you wrote a book?
00:16:49.14\00:16:50.54
Yes, yes, I did.
00:16:50.57\00:16:51.91
Tell us about the book.
00:16:51.94\00:16:53.27
What's the title?
You have it with you?
00:16:53.31\00:16:54.64
Yes, I do. Oh
there it is, right there.
00:16:54.68\00:16:56.98
Okay, so tell us about...
00:16:57.01\00:16:58.65
It's called "The
Wedding Cake Book,
00:16:58.68\00:17:00.62
" and a girl's
guide to good choices.
00:17:00.65\00:17:03.18
It's a book to be used as a tool
00:17:03.22\00:17:05.09
to speak to young ladies about
the importance of abstinence,
00:17:05.12\00:17:08.59
and the
consequences of premarital sex.
00:17:08.62\00:17:10.63
Okay.
00:17:10.66\00:17:11.99
So how did that come to be?
00:17:12.03\00:17:15.33
What, you know, had you
written other books before?
00:17:15.36\00:17:17.73
No, no.
00:17:17.77\00:17:19.10
Writing a book was something
I'd never aspired to do.
00:17:19.13\00:17:21.57
No desire to ever write a book.
00:17:21.60\00:17:23.41
But I found
that I was struggling
00:17:23.44\00:17:25.97
with talking to our girls,
00:17:26.01\00:17:28.01
about the importance of
respecting their bodies.
00:17:28.04\00:17:30.81
And I was
continually getting calls
00:17:30.85\00:17:33.75
from the principal
about finding my girls
00:17:33.78\00:17:36.58
in inappropriate situations
00:17:36.62\00:17:39.09
and when they'd come home,
00:17:39.12\00:17:40.56
I would just
try to speak to them
00:17:40.59\00:17:42.56
about the importance
of respecting their bodies
00:17:42.59\00:17:44.13
and making good choices.
00:17:44.16\00:17:46.09
And I wasn't very good at it.
00:17:46.13\00:17:48.13
I wasn't reaching them
and I felt really frustrated.
00:17:48.16\00:17:51.57
I actually went to a
large local bookstore,
00:17:51.60\00:17:54.10
and I was speaking to
the lady at the store.
00:17:54.14\00:17:57.07
And I said, you
know, "Do you have anything
00:17:57.11\00:17:58.54
that I can use
as a guide to talk
00:17:58.57\00:18:00.28
to these young
girls about abstinence?"
00:18:00.31\00:18:03.58
And, you know, she went to
her computer and she is just,
00:18:03.61\00:18:06.15
you know, "We don't
have anything here."
00:18:06.18\00:18:08.75
So, I left and I just, you know,
00:18:08.78\00:18:10.75
a couple of weeks
passed and I got another call
00:18:10.79\00:18:13.39
from the principal and...
00:18:13.42\00:18:15.99
This time I started praying.
00:18:16.02\00:18:17.43
I was driving to the
girls' house and I said,
00:18:17.46\00:18:20.10
"Lord, if You
could please just give me
00:18:20.13\00:18:22.13
something to help these girls."
00:18:22.16\00:18:24.47
Yes.
00:18:24.50\00:18:25.83
You know, I really
need to reach them.
00:18:25.87\00:18:27.80
And in about three minutes,
00:18:27.84\00:18:30.34
all these different ideas
starting to pop into my head.
00:18:30.37\00:18:33.64
Wow.
00:18:33.68\00:18:35.01
It was almost like
I was brain storming,
00:18:35.04\00:18:36.38
like anything that I
had to do with little girls
00:18:36.41\00:18:38.11
was just popping in
my head like Barbies,
00:18:38.15\00:18:40.35
Princess, things like that.
00:18:40.38\00:18:42.22
By the time, I got out
of my car, got to the door,
00:18:42.25\00:18:44.59
I had the metaphor
of "The wedding cake"
00:18:44.62\00:18:46.92
in my head.
00:18:46.96\00:18:48.69
And I was
speaking to little girl,
00:18:48.72\00:18:51.39
we went to the backroom,
00:18:51.43\00:18:52.76
and I started
sharing this new idea
00:18:52.79\00:18:55.10
that I had in my head with her.
00:18:55.13\00:18:57.03
And she looked
at me and she said,
00:18:57.07\00:18:58.43
"Cheryl, I understand
00:18:58.47\00:19:00.30
what you've been
trying to tell me now."
00:19:00.34\00:19:02.57
And I said, "You do?"
00:19:02.60\00:19:03.94
I was surprised.
00:19:03.97\00:19:05.31
And so I just, over the year,
00:19:05.34\00:19:06.68
I just started
developing a story
00:19:06.71\00:19:08.04
and it started growing.
00:19:08.08\00:19:09.41
So for five years,
I used the metaphor,
00:19:09.44\00:19:11.61
"The wedding cake".
00:19:11.65\00:19:12.98
And at one staff meeting,
one of my employees said to me
00:19:13.01\00:19:18.15
we got a new
client and she says,
00:19:18.19\00:19:19.92
"Mrs. Cheryl, we need to share
the story with another girl,
00:19:19.95\00:19:22.02
a new girl."
00:19:22.06\00:19:23.39
And I said "Okay. In
next week, I will do that."
00:19:23.43\00:19:25.69
So David here, my husband--
00:19:25.73\00:19:27.26
During the staff meeting.
00:19:27.30\00:19:28.70
In the staff meeting, they
are like, "Oh, Mrs. Cheryl,
00:19:28.73\00:19:32.07
so and so needs you to talk
to her about the Wedding Cake."
00:19:32.10\00:19:37.24
And wedding cake?
00:19:37.27\00:19:39.27
And one of my male
staff's like "Wedding cake,
00:19:39.31\00:19:40.88
I want some wedding cake.
00:19:40.91\00:19:42.24
I love wedding cake."
00:19:42.28\00:19:43.71
Yeah, who
doesn't love cake, right?
00:19:43.75\00:19:45.45
So, you know, I
asked her about it.
00:19:45.48\00:19:49.15
And she is like, "Don't
worry about it, it's nothing."
00:19:49.18\00:19:51.55
So it kind of out
of sight, out of mind.
00:19:51.59\00:19:54.72
And it comes up again.
00:19:54.76\00:19:56.96
So I said, "What is
this about the Wedding cake?"
00:19:56.99\00:20:00.00
And--
00:20:00.03\00:20:01.36
So we got home.
00:20:01.40\00:20:03.37
I have been using
for like five years
00:20:03.40\00:20:04.80
to talk to the
girls about the importance
00:20:04.83\00:20:06.20
of abstinence and
respecting their bodies.
00:20:06.23\00:20:08.64
So, we get to home and
he, I was sitting on the couch
00:20:08.67\00:20:11.47
and David, he is
lot bigger than I am,
00:20:11.51\00:20:13.11
takes his leg and lays
it over my leg and he says,
00:20:13.14\00:20:15.98
"I am not gonna let
you up until you tell me
00:20:16.01\00:20:18.65
about this metaphor
and this wedding cake."
00:20:18.68\00:20:20.25
Okay, good.
00:20:20.28\00:20:21.62
Let's take a look
at that book, please.
00:20:21.65\00:20:24.99
What a beautiful cover it is?
00:20:25.02\00:20:26.62
Thank you.
00:20:26.65\00:20:27.99
Beautiful green,
The Wedding Cake.
00:20:28.02\00:20:29.99
Oh, this seems very
interesting picture on the back.
00:20:30.03\00:20:32.73
Yes, it is.
00:20:32.76\00:20:34.10
It's got a bride in
the middle, has two boys.
00:20:34.13\00:20:36.93
Yeah, one was the
groom holding the crumbs
00:20:36.97\00:20:39.00
and the other is the young man
00:20:39.03\00:20:40.84
that has enjoyed
the wedding cake.
00:20:40.87\00:20:43.77
Now, let's look into it and
see what's inside, everybody.
00:20:43.81\00:20:46.47
Okay.
00:20:46.51\00:20:48.94
So, this looks
like the beginning,
00:20:48.98\00:20:51.51
got a lot of
presents, beautiful gifts, okay.
00:20:51.55\00:20:54.82
What does this
picture represent?
00:20:54.85\00:20:56.42
The perfect wedding cake.
00:20:56.45\00:20:58.59
So, the wedding cake
historically has been a symbol
00:20:58.62\00:21:02.22
of fertility for
the women, and so,
00:21:02.26\00:21:07.63
I just had my
illustrator put the perfect cake
00:21:07.66\00:21:10.60
there just displaying the
table cloth and the knife,
00:21:10.63\00:21:14.84
and the, what you're gonna
be using for the first time.
00:21:14.87\00:21:17.51
And as I understand
it, that's our child.
00:21:17.54\00:21:20.84
Right.
00:21:20.88\00:21:22.21
Wow, okay.
00:21:22.24\00:21:23.88
Let's go to another picture.
00:21:23.91\00:21:26.95
Seemed things have
changed, what's going on here?
00:21:26.98\00:21:29.82
Well, I used the
wedding cake as a metaphor.
00:21:29.85\00:21:32.99
So as you flip
through the pages of the book,
00:21:33.02\00:21:36.39
you're going to see
that with each choice
00:21:36.42\00:21:38.53
that you make
with each young boy,
00:21:38.56\00:21:41.26
your wedding cake
is going to transform.
00:21:41.30\00:21:43.57
So it's going to go
from the perfect wedding cake
00:21:43.60\00:21:46.47
to this particular illustration
00:21:46.50\00:21:48.17
it has the cake
tilted a little bit,
00:21:48.20\00:21:50.81
and it has the finger swipe.
00:21:50.84\00:21:53.07
Finger swipe.
00:21:53.11\00:21:55.28
That would be the boy that
just wanted it a little taste.
00:21:55.31\00:21:59.41
This one says the second boy.
00:21:59.45\00:22:01.05
The second boy
again, the cake transforms.
00:22:01.08\00:22:04.25
So now, you have a cake
that has, it's tilted even more.
00:22:04.29\00:22:08.42
It has the fingers
swiped from the first boy along
00:22:08.46\00:22:12.03
with the bite out of the
cake from the second boy.
00:22:12.06\00:22:14.00
Oh, my...
00:22:18.57\00:22:20.40
Yes. Tell us about it.
00:22:20.44\00:22:21.77
The third boy.
00:22:21.80\00:22:24.04
He has eaten some of the lovely
00:22:24.07\00:22:26.17
little pink
flowers off of the cake.
00:22:26.21\00:22:28.41
And the cake is
tilted even more.
00:22:28.44\00:22:31.45
You have the bite
and the finger swipe.
00:22:31.48\00:22:33.98
So, basically as
you go through the book,
00:22:34.02\00:22:36.18
all the illustrations
are simply just showing you
00:22:36.22\00:22:39.52
how with the choices you make...
00:22:39.55\00:22:42.29
Yes, yes, you can see
that the icings, the--
00:22:42.32\00:22:46.80
Icing is off the cake.
00:22:46.83\00:22:48.16
Is there any icing left?
00:22:48.20\00:22:49.53
Just a little bit icing.
00:22:49.56\00:22:50.90
All the roses are gone.
00:22:50.93\00:22:52.27
There's a little
bit of icing left.
00:22:52.30\00:22:53.64
But it just, the
illustrations are powerful
00:22:53.67\00:22:56.60
for young girls,
because it actually shows you
00:22:56.64\00:22:59.94
how your choices
affect your body.
00:22:59.97\00:23:02.01
Yes, that's one of my
favorite pictures there.
00:23:02.04\00:23:04.58
Why?
00:23:04.61\00:23:06.38
Because it's the result
of all your bad choices.
00:23:06.41\00:23:09.72
And you can clearly see it.
00:23:09.75\00:23:11.09
So it clearly shows it? Yes.
00:23:11.12\00:23:12.45
There is no icing on that cake.
00:23:12.49\00:23:13.82
No, not. Not one drop.
00:23:13.86\00:23:15.69
Shows everything? Yes.
00:23:15.72\00:23:18.49
Yes, it does.
00:23:18.53\00:23:22.40
And that one, I like it
because it just kind of speaks
00:23:22.43\00:23:28.20
to what the choices you've made,
00:23:28.24\00:23:31.21
how they are going to
affect the husband, your--
00:23:31.24\00:23:33.34
The man you chose to marry.
00:23:33.38\00:23:35.34
And I like the
little napkin on that guy
00:23:35.38\00:23:38.11
who has been eating your
cake, how his face looks, and--
00:23:38.15\00:23:40.82
You know, to me that
picture right there kind of--
00:23:40.85\00:23:43.12
Kind of says it all, kind
of sums everything up to you,
00:23:43.15\00:23:45.75
how your choices are.
00:23:45.79\00:23:47.39
What does it say? How to fix.
00:23:47.42\00:23:48.92
Well, you know, one guy said
00:23:48.96\00:23:50.99
that they are licking his chops,
00:23:51.03\00:23:52.36
'cause he has enjoyed everything
00:23:52.39\00:23:53.90
when the person who
was going to commit is a,
00:23:53.93\00:23:56.26
you know, more or less
left with all the fall out
00:23:56.30\00:24:01.27
of what happens
with relationships
00:24:01.30\00:24:03.41
when you have these the choices.
00:24:03.44\00:24:05.74
And it's all everything that
you're bringing to a marriage.
00:24:05.77\00:24:07.94
And then the
young lady looks like
00:24:07.98\00:24:09.38
she is kind of trying to
deal with all of her choices
00:24:09.41\00:24:11.38
right there on her wedding day
00:24:11.41\00:24:12.91
looking at her
husband's expression.
00:24:12.95\00:24:15.15
Wow.
00:24:15.18\00:24:20.46
Now this is when you get
a little bit more explicit
00:24:20.49\00:24:22.46
and you start
teaching the girls?
00:24:22.49\00:24:24.16
Right.
00:24:24.19\00:24:25.53
So this--
00:24:25.56\00:24:26.90
It's actually transmitted
diseases, and other things?
00:24:26.93\00:24:29.20
So in this book, I,
again, it's a guide.
00:24:29.23\00:24:32.23
So you're going to use this book
00:24:32.27\00:24:34.17
according to where your child is
00:24:34.20\00:24:36.00
and according to the
questions that they ask you.
00:24:36.04\00:24:37.61
So you can go into more detail,
00:24:37.64\00:24:39.37
or you can just kind
of just stay general,
00:24:39.41\00:24:40.98
depending again on
where your child is.
00:24:41.01\00:24:42.91
So I actually address
three different consequences,
00:24:42.94\00:24:46.51
or possible consequences
of having premarital sex.
00:24:46.55\00:24:49.18
I might address the STDs,
00:24:49.22\00:24:51.45
and if you look
at the illustration,
00:24:51.49\00:24:53.52
it kind of shows,
00:24:53.56\00:24:55.46
it has the symptom of STDs
on the actual wedding cake.
00:24:55.49\00:25:00.23
And so depending on
where your child is--
00:25:00.26\00:25:02.16
Little bugs in.
00:25:02.20\00:25:04.23
Bugs? It depends on--
00:25:04.27\00:25:05.83
So it shows the
symptoms of STDs.
00:25:05.87\00:25:08.30
So that illustration you
can actually go into more detail
00:25:08.34\00:25:11.41
with your
daughter, a young lady,
00:25:11.44\00:25:13.58
or you can keep it more
general depending on again
00:25:13.61\00:25:15.68
where she is.
00:25:15.71\00:25:17.05
So it addresses that.
00:25:17.08\00:25:18.41
It also addresses on the
possibility of pregnancy.
00:25:18.45\00:25:21.75
And how that's
gonna affect your life...
00:25:21.78\00:25:24.55
forever.
00:25:24.59\00:25:26.02
And how that's going to
affect your child's life.
00:25:26.05\00:25:28.52
And then I also talk
about the emotional aspect
00:25:28.56\00:25:30.93
of having premarital sex.
00:25:30.96\00:25:34.90
And that is where you're in life
00:25:34.93\00:25:37.77
and how you're
going to deal with those.
00:25:37.80\00:25:39.13
And how you could possibly
carry over those feelings
00:25:39.17\00:25:41.27
into your future relationships.
00:25:41.30\00:25:43.71
Wow.
00:25:43.74\00:25:45.07
And that was
happening in this picture here?
00:25:45.11\00:25:47.34
You know, everyone is
affected in the relationship
00:25:47.38\00:25:49.84
by the choices that we make.
00:25:49.88\00:25:51.91
That's very
true. That's very true.
00:25:51.95\00:25:53.28
It is. Yes, it is.
00:25:53.31\00:25:54.65
What about this picture, Cheryl?
00:25:54.68\00:25:56.38
That picture, I
really like that picture.
00:25:56.42\00:25:58.39
Because I like the fact
that it shows redemption,
00:25:58.42\00:26:01.72
and I--
00:26:01.76\00:26:03.09
I like the fact that
it had all those different
00:26:03.12\00:26:06.80
words of
encouragement for each girl.
00:26:06.83\00:26:09.53
A lot of our girls are victims.
00:26:09.56\00:26:11.73
And they've had
things happened to them
00:26:11.77\00:26:13.47
that's by no
choices of their own.
00:26:13.50\00:26:15.40
And so, I didn't
want them to feel damaged,
00:26:15.44\00:26:17.07
I wanted them to have hope.
00:26:17.11\00:26:18.57
So that's what that
picture basically represents.
00:26:18.61\00:26:20.48
It's beautiful.
00:26:20.51\00:26:21.84
They are
rebuilding the wedding cake.
00:26:21.88\00:26:24.11
We can rebuild the cake.
00:26:24.15\00:26:25.48
Until it's beautiful and
perfect just like before.
00:26:25.51\00:26:29.58
I love this book, it's so nice.
00:26:29.62\00:26:31.45
Thank you, thank you.
00:26:31.49\00:26:32.92
So tell me about
All God's children.
00:26:32.95\00:26:34.69
How can people get
into contact with you?
00:26:34.72\00:26:36.52
You obviously have a book,
00:26:36.56\00:26:37.89
so that means you
do training as well?
00:26:37.93\00:26:39.36
Both of you?
00:26:39.39\00:26:40.73
Well, you can contact us
through AllGodsChildren.net
00:26:40.76\00:26:42.93
which is our website.
00:26:42.96\00:26:45.97
And you can, we
can purchase the book?
00:26:46.00\00:26:47.70
AllGodsChildren.us.
00:26:47.74\00:26:50.11
AllGodsChildren.us. Yes.
00:26:50.14\00:26:53.51
And we can get the
book from the website?
00:26:53.54\00:26:55.41
You can order the
book from the website...
00:26:55.44\00:26:57.31
TheWeddingcakebook.net.
00:26:57.35\00:26:59.91
TheWeddingcakebook.net?
00:26:59.95\00:27:02.25
Yes, and you guys are
available to be able to travel
00:27:02.28\00:27:06.45
and to be able
to help other people
00:27:06.49\00:27:08.32
who are going
through some of these things.
00:27:08.36\00:27:10.73
But you have
resources on your website?
00:27:10.76\00:27:12.73
Yes, you can contact
us through the website,
00:27:12.76\00:27:15.36
or through the 3ABN.
00:27:15.40\00:27:16.77
Fantastic. Fantastic.
00:27:16.80\00:27:18.77
Well, I certainly appreciate
your coming and sharing this.
00:27:18.80\00:27:21.07
We enjoyed being here.
Well, thank you for having us.
00:27:21.10\00:27:22.60
I wanted to just ask
you-- Oh, I am sorry, yes.
00:27:22.64\00:27:26.14
Can you tell me one
quick, quick story how is this?
00:27:26.17\00:27:29.14
How is the book?
00:27:29.18\00:27:30.51
What's been the
result of the book?
00:27:30.55\00:27:31.88
Has it made a
difference with the girls
00:27:31.91\00:27:33.25
that you're working with?
00:27:33.28\00:27:34.62
It has.
00:27:34.65\00:27:35.98
I have to tell you,
the book is very effective.
00:27:36.02\00:27:37.49
And what is so
inspirational to me
00:27:37.52\00:27:41.39
is that it was a
gift to her from God,
00:27:41.42\00:27:44.29
in a very disparate movement.
00:27:44.33\00:27:46.49
And it works. Praise God.
00:27:46.53\00:27:49.03
Well, thank you guys
so much, David and Cheryl,
00:27:49.06\00:27:51.70
for coming to the program today.
00:27:51.73\00:27:53.70
Thank you for sharing
about the Wedding Cake.
00:27:53.74\00:27:55.94
You know, 2
Corinthians 5:17 says that
00:27:55.97\00:27:59.41
"If anyone is in
Christ, man, woman, boy or girl,
00:27:59.44\00:28:03.31
that he is a new creature.
00:28:03.35\00:28:05.15
Old things are passed away.
00:28:05.18\00:28:07.22
We are the workmanship of
God, created unto good works."
00:28:07.25\00:28:11.69
That is a message
full of hope for everyone.
00:28:11.72\00:28:14.92
Thank you for joining us today.
00:28:14.96\00:28:16.42
Have a blessed day.
00:28:16.46\00:28:17.96