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Welcome to Issues and Answers.
Today our topic is Love Drops.
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So if you're interested in
learning more about love, how
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to build love, how to grow in
love, come on and join us today.
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Our guest today Pastor Steven
Caza. He is a graduate from
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Weimar College in California.
He's pastored in Kentucky, the
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Cayman Islands, Utah and
Tennessee. His current churches
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are the Raleigh and Covington
churches near Memphis, Tennessee
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He likes to be involved in
public evangelism, giving Bible
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studies and training members to
do outreach. His lovely wife is
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Leslie. He has been married to
her for 31 years and they have
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three grown children, Shannon,
Emily and Isaac. His favorite
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hobbies when he's not preaching
and doing all those other
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wonderful things is planting
orchards and maintaining them,
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berry patches, gardening,
jogging and biking. Welcome to
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the program Pastor Caza. Glad
you could spare the time from
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all your wonderful hobbies
to talk to us about Love Drops.
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I just love that title. I like
to say it, Love Drops. (laughs)
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I know you do. Great to be
here. Thank you for having me.
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Oh, you're so
welcome. So where do we start?
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Well, we'll go back to Genesis
chapter 26 and Isaac and Rebekah
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were living in a famine and
they realized they couldn't live
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there anymore so they decided
to move. And they went down to
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Gerar. King Abimelech was a
Philistine king of that area.
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While they were there God came
to Isaac and gave him a blessing
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again, I'll make your
descendants as the stars of
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heaven. And then with them being
the new people on the block
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what happens when somebody new
moves in what do the neighbors
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like to do? They like
to come over and check
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them out. Check
them out! Well they were
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checking his tents, his
herds, his carts. Then there was
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something really interesting.
They started checking out his
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wife. So they asked him who is
this woman? Well she's my sister
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Was that really the case?
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No that was not the case.
It started here in verse 7 of
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chapter 26...
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So she was a real good looker.
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Those were extra
friendly neighbors.
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I know, they were bold, I agree
with that. And it says here
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and it came to pass when they
had been there a long time. So
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this deception had been going
on for quite a while hiding who
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they were. And
it picks up here...
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So he looked out. He saw
something. Yeah, and sporting
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Well, New American Standard says
caressing, New Revised Standard
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says fondling, New King
James says showing endearment,
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Contemporary _ version says
hugging and kissing. I say they
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were flirting and teasing. They
were having a ball, they were
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having fun. Abimelech didn't
have a modern English Bible to
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think about what it was, but
he didn't need it. He looked at
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what was going on. He realized
that is not brother and sister
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stuff. Not at all.
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Not at all. Now here's the point
Isaac had blown it. Somehow they
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had made up and they were
having fun together. They were
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enjoying each other's company,
touching, talking, laughing. He
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could see their eyes, he could
see their actions that they were
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married. It was obvious that
they were married and I'd like
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to say today, I'd like to be
obvious in our marriages with
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husbands and wives that we are
married, that we are a couple,
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that there's a warmth between
us. We care for each other. It's
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in our eyes. Song of Solomon
says doves eyes. The look of
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gentleness. Doves are gentle
birds. My beloved has doves'
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eyes. You can see that there's
a chemistry there, there's
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electricity there, a warmth and
they like each other. They like
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each other. A couple who shares
hobbies, plays together, have
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common interests, talking,
sharing, planning together,
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building good solid marriages.
We need to come to the
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understanding that marriage is a
covenant of companionship. It's
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a covenant of companionship. We
find that in Malachi chapter 2
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verse 14...
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The Lord is saying this lady's
been with you a long time, from
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your youth. Are you going to put
her out to pasture? Or this man
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has been with you a long
time. I mean significantly has
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invested their life in you; from
your youth you've been together.
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Then he continues on here...
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Your lifelong
partner, soul mate, friend.
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How beautiful. So God
is telling him she's been
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with you a long time. What
you're doing by putting her away
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is treachery and why, she's your
companion, she's been with you.
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She hung in thick and thin. You
know she loves you. And here it
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says as it continues on, she's
your companion and your wife
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by covenant. What
does that covenant mean?
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You've got me very good. An
agreement between two parties
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for mutual benefit here.
So they have made a covenant.
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They made a covenant, the
husband and wife. It was by
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covenant they both agreed on
their own free will. Nobody put
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a gun to their head and said you
have to marry this person. They
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agreed to blend their lives, the
two become one. Now when I do
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weddings, there's something
at the end of the wedding
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everybody's waiting for. You
have that prayer, they get up,
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the veil goes up and
the minister says you may...
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Salute the bride
or kiss your bride.
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Kiss the bride! and everybody's
smiling. Do you know where that
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came from. No. It actually came
from ancient Rome where they
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sealed agreements with a kiss
and it came into the marriage
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ceremony. So not only does a
couple seal the commitment to
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covenant with the I do.
Actually ancient custom is the
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kiss too, that they have
covenanted to stay together,
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to love one another, to stick
together. So that's where that
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came in from. Who
knew that? Excuse me.
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Who knew that coming all the
way from Rome or Roman custom.
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It's just the custom.
That was kept going thousands
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of years later. Thousands of
years. There must be something
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to that. Well,
that kiss is sealing my
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I do, that I am committed to you
and I'm going to stay with you
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and love you and bless
you. And it's both, it's mutual.
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It should always be mutual. And
this commitment to marriage was
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an issue in Jesus' day. And
the Pharisees came to him and in
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Matthew chapter 19, verses 3-6.
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As I thought about this, the no
man put asunder, that word for
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man is Anthropos, mankind. So
Jesus was saying no one, male or
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female, relative, friend, nobody
has a right to get into and
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split your marriage. God's plan
was for us to work it out, to
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stick, cleave is to stick
together because sometimes you
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just have to stick together.
There just are problems, there
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are struggles. It's a part
of every marriage. All our lives
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we're going to have problems.
Isaac and Rebekah as we started
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off. He denied his wife. She is
my sister. How do you think she
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felt? Really bad, but somehow
in that story they had to have
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made up because they were
sporting. So Isaac must have
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gone to her and said, Look, I
blew it. I was afraid. He just
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owned up to it, told he was
sorry, asked her for forgiveness
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She took a big deep breath.
She was waiting for that and now
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they can work it out and get
back together. So God's plan is
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for the two to become one and
to become one flesh. It takes a
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lot of work, but it's well worth
it, very well worth it. We need
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to ask ourselves are our
marriages strong, are they
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strong. How to get them
strong and are they strong? Well
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there's a book called Love is a
Lubricant. The story is told of
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a workman who boarded the bus,
was going to work, and every
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time the door opened it squeaked
So what he did is he just got up
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took out his little oil can,
went over to the offending spot
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put a couple drops on, put it
back in, went back to his seat
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and made the comment, I always
keep an oil can for there is
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always something that a few
drops of oil can quiet. A few
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drops of oil. That's where we
get the title Love Drops because
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love is the oil that
brings harmony into our homes,
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can quiet the fuming. So it's
love drops. It's love that is
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what does that. I want to share
a few scriptures here to help
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us to have those love drops in
our marriages. Let's take a look
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here, Proverbs chapter 31 and
verse 26. And this is talking to
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the wife. It is well for a
couple to just go into the Bible
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and just read these verses
and get a tune up, really even a
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perk, a perk up. See that God
is interested in their homes.
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He's interested in them, he
interested in their well-being.
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God wants us to be successful.
He's pulling for us. God's our
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biggest cheer leader. He wants
us to have the abundant life.
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But there are keys to the
abundant life, those laws of
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life that he's given us in
the scriptures that if we follow
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will bring freedom, it'll bring
joy, it'll bring happiness.
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God's primary goal for us is to
be happy; that's what he wants.
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He wants us to be happy. In
Proverbs 31 verse 26, speaking
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to the wife the verse says...
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So when a wife opens her mouth
she's speaking with wisdom...
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Where is she getting that
wisdom from? The word of God.
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Life experience, skill.
Hopefully we learn from our
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mistakes. We're not doing that
again. Wisdom... We learn as we
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age and as we grow, as God works
with us, as we're polishing.
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When we get married we're not
finished products. We're just
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two people trying to mesh our
lives with our own baggage and
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hopefully as we're married
things are being laid off,
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you know, dropped off and we're
maturing, and we're figuring
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things out. Couples who stay
together even in the hard times
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eventually will figure things
out and I will testify to that,
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31 years. My marriage is
as sweet now as ever, better I
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should say because I have
learned things on what makes my
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wife happy. And she has learned
things that make me happy.
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So we have a good marriage.
We don't have a perfect marriage
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but we strive for a good
marriage. Does that make sense?
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Sure. To have a good marriage.
And you can. There is no
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marriage so far gone that God
can't heal. I know that God can
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heal even the worst situations
He can help the couple to start
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dialoguing, working things out
step by step. It may take some
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time but if he can reclaim a
human person who's unconverted
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he can reclaim a marriage.
He can reclaim demoniacs and
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prostitutes and drug addicts. He
can reclaim marriages. So there
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is hope for our marriages.
There's hope if the commitment
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is both. So she openeth her
mouth with wisdom and in her
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tongue is the law of kindness.
It's just a way of life,
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speaking kindness. I think
kindness goes a long way in a
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home, speaking kindly, good
manners, having a gentleness.
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So telling the wife when
you speak try to be wise in what
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you say and in your tongue have
the law of kindness. Proverbs
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chapter 31 verses 10-12 says
to the woman. Who can find a
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virtuous woman? Well
that's a good question.
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You stopped right there.
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Well look who asked the question
No today as I was looking at
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this and I've been thinking
about this, who can find a
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virtuous woman? There are a
lot of virtuous women out there.
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There are a lot of good men.
Are you willing to wait and find
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one? You know, I want to back
up. There are women who maybe
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when they were younger did
things they shouldn't have done,
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made foolish mistakes, youthful
lust, but when they give their
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hearts to Jesus they become
virtuous women. The woman at the
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well; five husbands and one
live-in. She left that day, she
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left converted and she was
a different person. The lady
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in adultery that they brought to
Jesus. He says I condemn you no
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more. She left a converted
woman a virtuous woman.
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Her life was changed, so even
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though we have made mistakes
when we were younger, we can
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be reclaimed and become virtuous
That's part of the new birth
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experience. Right?
Amen, yeah that's exciting.
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That's right and it is exciting.
Another one is Rahab the harlot.
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She's in Jesus' genealogy,
a pagan and she's in Jesus'
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genealogy. She became a pure
woman and she was actually the
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might have been the great, great
grandmother of David. I may have
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that a little bit off, of Jesse
and then David. So she was in
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that. So David actually
had Canaanite blood in him.
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So God can put
together people from different
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backgrounds. He can.
The point I'm getting
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at, who can find a virtuous
woman? It's possible. Every
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woman can be virtuous. Every
woman can be a lovely, godly,
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well-balanced person. God
has designed us to be reclaimed,
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redeemed, restored, revived. So
it can happen. So who can find a
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virtuous woman. And when you
find her... for her price is far
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above rubies. So when you find
her grab her. Don't let her get
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away. Don't let her get away.
Here's a fun part of this...
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If you can find a virtuous
woman for her price is far above
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rubies. The heart of her husband
doeth safely trust in her.
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What does that mean?
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Just know she's going to do him
good. What she's going to do, he
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doesn't have to go behind her
and watch; how she's spending
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the money, how's she raising her
kids, what she's doing in her
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spare time. He just trusts her.
I got married 31 years ago. I
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have not seen a pay check the
whole time. Really?! Yeah every
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one goes to my
wife. She's good at that?
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Yeah, I'm decent with money but
she's really good with money and
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I just trust her. I trust
her with the finances, with the
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running of the home. When she
comes home, she says oh I had to
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buy... I bought recently a
microwave. Is that okay. Of
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course, because you're always
good with money. You're always
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reliable. I trust you. This
is an area that I just trust my
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wife and don't have to question
her. Yeah very good, that's very
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good. So this says here...
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Safely trust because
you know she's reliable.
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Do him good. Can you imagine
a wife who's just thinking about
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how can I make this man happy,
thinking, helping this marriage
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to stay well oiled, if I can put
that out there. Pulling out her
00:18:22.26\00:18:26.60
own little can of love drops.
Love drops are very interesting.
00:18:26.63\00:18:31.81
And of course it's the love. We
can put it in drop form. If we
00:18:31.84\00:18:36.64
are using love drops daily
it will keep the machinery well
00:18:36.68\00:18:40.85
oiled. But if you neglect
something, it has a squeak, a
00:18:40.92\00:18:45.05
problem, love drops will
help heal that as we talk, make
00:18:45.09\00:18:48.99
amends, work things out,
negotiate. So love on the front
00:18:49.02\00:18:52.66
end helps the marriage to run
well but if something goes bad
00:18:52.69\00:18:56.83
love will reclaim that marriage.
And love is a choice, it's a
00:18:56.87\00:19:01.00
choice. Yes, we
need to love by faith.
00:19:01.04\00:19:06.24
Explain that, to love by faith.
00:19:06.27\00:19:09.74
Sometimes the marriage is so bad
you just want to run away but by
00:19:09.78\00:19:14.15
faith you can say, God you
brought us together. I believe
00:19:14.18\00:19:18.29
you can fix this and by faith
I'm going to love this man or by
00:19:18.32\00:19:22.42
faith I'm going to love
this woman. You know we're not
00:19:22.46\00:19:26.06
getting along. Both of us want
to check out of here. But loving
00:19:26.09\00:19:30.47
by faith... That's actually
a New Testament term, love by
00:19:30.50\00:19:33.87
faith. Love by faith. Sometimes
it's by faith you're staying
00:19:33.94\00:19:36.91
together. That's part of the
covenant agreement, that's part
of sticking together
00:19:36.94\00:19:39.94
that's part of the two becoming
one. It is, I'd rather be
00:19:39.97\00:19:43.38
anywhere else right now because
this marriage is so hurtful to
00:19:43.45\00:19:47.65
me. I'm not talking about abuse.
Abusive marriage is a whole
00:19:47.68\00:19:51.89
different topic. This is
when couples have grown apart,
00:19:51.92\00:19:54.19
They're not getting
along, they're arguing, they're
00:19:54.26\00:19:56.42
fuming, they're fussing you know
It's been going a long time and
00:19:56.46\00:20:00.43
maybe the love has died
down some. Those marriages yes.
00:20:00.50\00:20:04.43
Even the other marriages where
there's abuse, if they get help
00:20:04.47\00:20:06.74
they can be reclaimed too. But
I don't want to go there today.
00:20:06.80\00:20:10.97
I want to stick with this. So
by loving by faith. That person,
00:20:11.01\00:20:15.21
God has given her to me,
God has given him to me and I
00:20:15.24\00:20:19.55
believe that we can come out of
this and learn some things and
00:20:19.58\00:20:23.85
maybe even be stronger for it.
So loving by faith. It is giving
00:20:23.89\00:20:28.62
it to God, praying, claiming
Bible promises and letting him
00:20:28.66\00:20:33.36
soothe you and letting him bring
you comfort. He's the God of all
00:20:33.40\00:20:37.40
comfort. He will comfort us in
all our afflictions and so God
00:20:37.43\00:20:41.97
can comfort you and carry you
through this time in his working
00:20:42.00\00:20:46.37
with you and pray that he will
work with your spouse. So love
00:20:46.44\00:20:50.68
drops go a long way. Now Karen
let's go to Ecclesiastes chapter
00:20:50.71\00:20:54.88
9 and verse 9 and find
some counsel for husbands here.
00:20:54.92\00:20:58.95
Now in Ecclesiastes Solomon
is telling husbands to live
00:21:12.50\00:21:19.01
joyfully, or we could say enjoy
life. Enjoy life. God wanted us
00:21:19.04\00:21:23.75
to have an enjoyment in our
lives and this says with the
00:21:23.81\00:21:28.52
wife who you love all the days
of your vain life which he has
00:21:28.55\00:21:32.99
given you under the sun. So it's
with you wife whom you love.
00:21:33.02\00:21:37.43
We should be loving our
wives and caring for them.
00:21:37.49\00:21:40.50
It's interesting as we take
a look at this it says this is
00:21:40.56\00:21:44.10
your portion in life and labor
which you perform under the sun
00:21:44.13\00:21:48.04
but in verse 10 the first phrase
Karen read the first phrase of
00:21:48.07\00:21:51.97
verse 10...
00:21:52.01\00:22:02.08
Okay, the context of this,
whatever your hand finds to do
00:22:02.15\00:22:06.02
do it with all you might. The
context is living joyfully with
00:22:06.05\00:22:10.56
your wife. That's your portion
under the sun. We take that out
00:22:10.63\00:22:13.93
of context, if you're going to
work at a job or anything do it
00:22:14.00\00:22:17.23
it with all your might and
that's good, we need to. But
00:22:17.27\00:22:20.14
here it's really saying you
need to put everything into your
00:22:20.20\00:22:23.24
marriage. The reason is because
the last part of this verse says
00:22:23.27\00:22:26.27
there's no work or device
or knowledge or wisdom in the
00:22:26.31\00:22:30.51
grave where you are going.
So you can't fix your marriage
00:22:30.55\00:22:35.22
after you're dead. It's got
to be on this side of death when
00:22:35.25\00:22:39.95
you're on top of the top
so you're not underneath.
00:22:40.02\00:22:44.19
No coming back from the grave
and visiting and putting your
00:22:44.23\00:22:46.96
hands in the life
of your loved ones.
00:22:47.00\00:22:48.63
No coming back. Things you're
wanting to teach them, tell them
00:22:48.66\00:22:50.90
work with them, there's none
of that. So whatever your hand
00:22:50.93\00:22:54.20
finds to do, do with all your
might. That's living joyfully
00:22:54.24\00:22:57.54
with your wife. We need to
be putting efforts into our
00:22:57.57\00:23:01.88
marriages. Like computers bonk
out, we'll spend hours trying to
00:23:01.91\00:23:05.68
fix it. But there's a glitch in
our marriage; do we put as much
00:23:05.71\00:23:10.69
energy into fixing our marriages
as we do dealing with our cars,
00:23:10.72\00:23:15.62
our boats, computers. So
whatever he finds to do we're
00:23:15.66\00:23:19.76
commanded to do it with husband
and wife both and to do it
00:23:19.79\00:23:25.37
joyfully. Let's go to Ephesians
chapter 4 and verse 32 because
00:23:25.40\00:23:29.74
I want to talk about love drops.
What are the ingredients of love
00:23:29.77\00:23:34.08
drops? There's an ancient
formula that has not been used
00:23:34.14\00:23:39.45
much because people really don't
know. It's gone out of use.
00:23:39.48\00:23:44.75
The idea of love drops.
00:23:45.49\00:23:46.82
That idea of love drops and also
the ingredients, what makes a
00:23:46.86\00:23:49.09
love drop. We need to bring them
back. Ephesians chapter 4 and
00:23:49.16\00:23:52.69
verse 32. Go
ahead would you read it.
00:23:52.73\00:23:54.73
Thirty-two? Yes.
00:23:54.73\00:23:56.06
Okay, three ingredients. Be ye
kind. There's a song: Be ye kind
00:24:04.14\00:24:09.31
one to another, do you know that
one? Tenderhearted, forgiving
00:24:09.34\00:24:14.48
one another. That's even a
song that we sing. Kindness,
00:24:14.52\00:24:21.02
gentleness, goodness, treating
each other well is an ingredient
00:24:21.06\00:24:28.40
in love drops. That's the
first one is having a kindness.
00:24:28.43\00:24:32.30
Then there's a tender
heartedness where we're dealing
00:24:32.33\00:24:36.14
sympathetically, empathetically,
patiently, entering into their
00:24:36.17\00:24:39.21
world. Our spouses have down
turns. Things aren't going well
00:24:39.27\00:24:42.38
at work or the children or
whatever. It's just being tender
00:24:42.41\00:24:45.51
hearted, reaching out to them.
00:24:45.55\00:24:47.52
Coming out of ourselves.
00:24:47.58\00:24:50.19
Coming out of ourselves, yeah.
Being tender hearted, not cold
00:24:50.25\00:24:53.62
hearted or cold shouldered.
So there's a tender heartedness.
00:24:53.66\00:24:56.99
Be ye kind one to another,
tender hearted, and he says
00:24:57.03\00:25:01.46
forgiving one another. So
forgiveness is a part where we
00:25:01.53\00:25:06.20
need to learn to forgive.
Rebekah had to forgive Isaac for
00:25:06.23\00:25:11.24
a big blunder, public blunder.
You know he disgraced himself
00:25:11.27\00:25:15.34
in front of everybody once they
were found out. But she had to
00:25:15.38\00:25:20.02
forgive him. They made up and
got their marriage back online.
00:25:20.05\00:25:25.39
They learned some lessons and
moved forward. So kindness, not
00:25:25.42\00:25:30.96
holding grudges, not letting
them fester in us. Dialoguing
00:25:30.99\00:25:35.03
talking. Love drops is not
an eye problem. Love drops is
00:25:35.06\00:25:39.00
actually the way to fix the
problems. So instead of putting
00:25:39.03\00:25:42.20
love drops down in there, I'm
turning my head to problems. It
00:25:42.24\00:25:45.71
means we're going to talk about
this kindly, gently, lovingly
00:25:45.77\00:25:49.64
and we're going to solve this.
Now these three ingredients are
00:25:49.68\00:25:53.58
not rare ingredients. They're
in the reach of all of us.
00:25:53.62\00:25:58.69
All of us can be kind. All of us
can be tender hearted, all of us
00:25:58.75\00:26:02.59
can learn to forgive one another
so we can all have that love
00:26:02.62\00:26:07.40
that we're longing for. Giving
love, receiving love, having
00:26:07.46\00:26:12.20
love drops, having love drops.
00:26:12.23\00:26:15.70
Pastor we are in need of love.
Certainly to be able to come out
00:26:15.77\00:26:20.68
of ourselves, to be able to look
to the needs of others. Would
00:26:20.71\00:26:25.51
you offer prayer for us please.
00:26:25.55\00:26:27.12
I'd love to.
Thank you for having me.
00:26:27.15\00:26:28.55
Loving Father in heaven, I just
pray dear Lord for our homes,
00:26:28.58\00:26:34.26
for our marriages that couples
today will just have a softening
00:26:34.29\00:26:39.93
in their hearts towards one
another and realize that you
00:26:40.00\00:26:42.70
know what, we had it at one time
we can get it back. Bless us
00:26:42.76\00:26:47.64
Help us to put the energy in.
Give us the Holy Spirit. Give us
00:26:47.67\00:26:53.54
the desires, give us the tools
that we can do that and bless
00:26:53.58\00:26:58.15
each other. We love you. We
thank you for the hope you have
00:26:58.18\00:27:02.65
given us. We thank you for our
spouses. Help us to rejoice with
00:27:02.68\00:27:07.02
each other. In Jesus name, Amen.
00:27:07.09\00:27:10.36
Amen. Well pastor first of all
thank you for the prayer. How
00:27:10.39\00:27:15.73
did you discover all these
wonderful love drops. Did you go
00:27:15.76\00:27:21.10
to class and study all
that. How did this come to be?
00:27:21.14\00:27:24.14
I did go to class.
School of hard knocks.
00:27:24.21\00:27:27.48
That was a good one.
00:27:27.51\00:27:29.54
That's true, that is
true. Through life experiences.
00:27:29.58\00:27:33.28
Through life
experiences with my wife and I.
00:27:33.31\00:27:36.25
Seeing the
scriptures coming alive to you.
00:27:36.28\00:27:39.19
Yes. My wife has been a blessing
to me. We've had our ups and
00:27:39.22\00:27:42.36
downs like all couples do.
But we stuck together. We have a
00:27:42.39\00:27:45.49
good marriage. We love
each other. We feel fulfilled.
00:27:45.53\00:27:48.90
You know a lot of these were
just my own personal struggles
00:27:48.96\00:27:53.44
tackling these verses.
00:27:53.50\00:27:55.77
Well thank you so much again
for coming to the program and
00:27:55.84\00:27:58.74
sharing with us Love
Drops. We really appreciate it.
00:27:58.77\00:28:03.41
For those of you at home, I
know I learned something today.
00:28:03.48\00:28:06.28
I hope you did as well.
Let's put that love in to the
00:28:06.31\00:28:10.52
relationships. Keep that love
going as God would have us to.
00:28:10.55\00:28:14.19
God bless you.
00:28:14.22\00:28:15.56