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Welcome to Issues and Answers.
Today our topic is the Widow's
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Son of Niles. Did you know
that according to the population
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reference bureau in the United
States the number of children
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in single-mother families has
risen drastically over the past
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four decades causing
considerable concern among
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policy makers and the public.
The effects of growing up in
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single-parent households
has been shown to go beyond
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economics increasing the risks
of children dropping out of
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school, disconnecting from the
labor force and becoming teen
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parents themselves. Although
many children growing up in
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single-parent families succeed
others will face significant
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challenges in making
the transition to adulthood.
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Children in lower income,
single-parent families face
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the most significant barriers to
success in school and the work
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force. Today to talk about this
issue is Mr. Greg Baker. He is a
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graduate of Andrews Academy as
well as Indiana University with
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a degree in accounting
and he himself will share this
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incredible story of the Widow's
Son of Niles. Welcome to the
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program Greg. Thank you so much.
It's a real pleasure to have you
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here, especially as my academy
classmate from Andrews Academy.
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That's right. So where
would you like to begin
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child in Niles. My mother was
a widow because I lost my father
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when I was 11 years
old. Sorry to hear that.
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Thank you. Yeah, I spent a lot
of years as a child without a
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father. But we made it.
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What was your father
like? Do you remember your dad?
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Yeah. My dad was a hard worker,
a very hard worker, and I guess
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that's kind of where I got my
drive for working from. But my
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as I knew him always held
down two jobs. He worked at the
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factory downtown and he worked
as a yard man and that kind of
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work for a doctor
down in Niles as well.
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Wow. In addition to
that you guys had a farm.
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We had a farm. How many acres?
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Oh boy, well the biggest part
of the farm actually was about
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seven acres, which is where
our horses were kept and that's
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where I live today. Wow!
Yes that's where I live today.
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Wow. So your dad passed
away when you were 11 years old.
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When I was 11. And
did you have brothers or
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sisters? I did,
I had brothers and
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sisters. And I was the youngest
of all five children. There were
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three boys and two girls. My
next older brother was 14 when
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Dad died and we had to take care
of all of the responsibilities
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of the house. So did
your mother work outside
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the home at that time?
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She did. She was a school
teacher. Oh okay. So she had
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other responsibilities
outside the house.
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Okay. So the household
immediately lost that income.
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Yes it did, yes it did.
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How did that feel?
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Well you know being 11 years old
I don't know a whole lot about
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what goes on with the finance
in the house, but I know that it
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was tough. It was very...
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What was it like?
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Oh, well, we didn't have the
things that we actually wanted,
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and sometimes didn't have
the things that we needed but we
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were able to make ends meet.
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Did you always have the clothes
that you needed for school at
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that time? Immediately after
your dad passed away did you
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have...? Yeah,
well it's interesting
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because when the economics of
that time fell it did affect me
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personally with having the
clothes that I needed, the food
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that was in the house. Child
care was a big issue in our home
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and I often times fell to the
responsibility of my sister who
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was there to take care of me
and get me going in the morning
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because Mom had to work
and Mother had school to teach.
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Right. So your sisters were
the ones that got you ready for
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school and sent you off
to school and you're the baby
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in the family. I'm
the youngest, yes, yes.
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So what's the age difference
between, you know the number of
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years between your
sisters and yourself?
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Oh boy. Were
they like much older
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than you? Yeah,
they took the place of my
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mother in care. So I don't
really remember how many years
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it was but I know that the
responsibilities for me getting
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up in the morning, getting my
bath, getting out of the house
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and going down to catch the
bus was sister's responsibility
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because Mother
was teaching school.
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So eventually your sisters, they
got married because they were
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older than you, right, and
they moved outside of the house.
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Yes they moved downtown or into
another town and as a married
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person they started
their families there.
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So how did that leave you
then, with your sisters gone?
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How old were
you about that time?
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Uhmm, like I said my father died
when I was 11 so that very well
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could have been another seven to
eight years later on, so I could
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have been 17 of having basically
no guidance, no care, nothing
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to do for my family which
would have been my mother and I.
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You were on your own?
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I was on my own. Completely
on your own. I was completely on
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my own. Kind of
raising yourself at that
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point at 17 year old. So I'm
just kind of reflect on some of
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the things that I remember about
you and that was you had a car.
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Nobody had a car.
How did that happen?
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I had a gold Gremlin.
You remember those cars.
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I'd date myself so
let's not say that. (laughs)
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Yeah I had a car because living
out in the country you know with
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the farm there, if you
didn't have a car you didn't go
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anywhere at all, so you had
to have a car and that's how you
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had to get around was
you own transportation.
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Right. So you are now out
of Niles and you're going to
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Andrews Academy which was,
what, about 30 minutes away?
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About 25- 30 minutes.
And during the snow...
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It's cold and it's very
dangerous and it's very hard to
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get around. So how
did your family get the
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car? How did you get the car?
Did you work to get the car?
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I did. I worked summers with the
neighbor who had a farm and I
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baled hay all summer long.
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You paid for your own car?
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I pretty much paid for my
own car. Yes, yes. Hay baling is
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very hard work.
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Really? What's involved for
those who are not familiar with
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the farm life? Oh,
what does it involve?
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You have to get the hay off the
baler and you had to put it on
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the wagon and stack that up and
then you have to take the wagon
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and take it to the barn and put
the hay in the barn. So there
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was a helper that was working
there too who drove the tractor.
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I pulled the hay off the baler
and stacked it up and he drove
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the tractor so he
had the easier job.
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Now I understand in Niles,
Michigan it's kind of like the
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end of the underground railroad
in some ways and there are a lot
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black or African-American
farmers that had land over the
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years. How did your dad come to
get that land, the seven acres?
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He worked for it. He worked for
it? He worked for it and he was
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working, as I said he worked in
the factory downtown, so he and
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my mom saved their money
and they bought the land and he
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built the 250-foot barn there
and raised horses there and that
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was a lot of work.
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So when your dad passed away did
you keep all of that, did you
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keep the farm, did you keep the
land, did you keep the horses?
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Yeah we did. We kept all of
those things because those were
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the things that I had to do
was to take care of the farm and
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take care of the horses and get
them down the road, because see
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we also had to sell the horses
later on because we were the
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only ones there. So we actually
had to sell the horses but that
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was later on, that was actually
after my sisters got out and
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and they got married, so that
could have been six or seven
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years later on. So you
grew up with the horses.
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What kinds of things did you
raise on the farm? Did you grow
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anything? Yeah, we
had a very big farm.
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Several kind of
crops, right. A truck farm.
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What's a truck farm?
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A truck farm is when you get
all the things out of the garden
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that you have harvested and you
get them on the truck and you
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take them down to the corner
and then you sell them there.
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So who was doing all that work?
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That was me. You? That was me.
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What about your brothers? Were
they around or had they left?
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No my brothers weren't around
then. It was pretty much me and
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whoever else I
could get to help me.
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How did you manage doing all
that and go to school. Did you
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have to drop out at some point?
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No I never had to drop out but
it was a long day, it was a long
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day's work. What
time did you day start?
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Oh, somewhere early, about 6:00
o'clock in the morning. And then
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I'd have to do all the chores
of the day of the farm and the
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garden and then go to school and
then after school I'd come back
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and I would work it some more,
another two or three hours, till
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dark. How'd you
study for school?
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Well I had to fit that in
somewhere and I probably should
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have done a whole lot
better than I did but...
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Seriously Gregg, okay you had
to get up in the morning and run
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a farm by yourself as a teenager
I think you did pretty well.
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It was God's grace
that got me through.
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Amen, amen. We didn't know that.
We just say you coming with your
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car to school. Ah Gregg is
hot stuff. And you played a mean
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game of basketball. How did
you perfect your basketball game
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running a whole
farm as a teenager?
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Well practice,
practice, practice.
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Your mom didn't do
anything with the farm?
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No. She didn't. So it
was your dad who was the
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outdoor guy. Yes. And your mom
was the school teacher. So it
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really all fell on you.
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Yeah, it all fell on me, and my
brother as much as he could help
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and other people who would be
a part of our lives that would
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help as well from time to time.
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So you had to plan. Did you have
to plan which crops you were
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going to sow and all that?
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Oh yeah. We decided early in
the season what to plant and...
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Did you work with a farm agent
or anything like that or...?
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No, it was pretty much whatever
we knew. Whatever we knew is
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what we depended on
to get the farm going.
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Oh Boy. We raised corn and
I mention corn first because I
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really love corn.
Really? That Michigan sweet corn
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Yes, yes it is. Corn is good.
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How did you plant it? Did you
have machines or were you out
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there just
individually planting the corn?
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One seed at a time. You know the
Bible speaks of a story about
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a woman, her son and
Jesus in Luke chapter 7.
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Luke chapter 7, what verse?
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verse 11.
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Okay...
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So what I'm trying to help you
understand is that story reminds
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me of me. I wasn't dead but I
was still a player in this story
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Right, how does it remind you
of your life, this particular
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story. What do you think would
be helpful for other young men
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who are being
raised by their mothers?
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Well yeah, the best thing that I
can tell you is that it reminds
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me because this story really
was about a mother and her son
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like in my story with you is
really about my mother and me.
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And there are a lot of
people who have single-parent
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households. And there are a lot
of people that are being raised
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by their mother and often times
these are young men who are
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raised by their mother just as
I was. So that's how this story
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kind of reminds me of
me. So what I wanted to help
00:15:37.37\00:15:43.47
you understand is that there are
single parents out there who are
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raising their young sons
and there are sons out there who
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are being raised by
their single parents.
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How was it for you once you
hit your teen years? What was it
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like not having your dad
and your mom. What kind of
00:15:59.62\00:16:03.12
relationship did you guys have?
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Well my mom, obviously she had
all the responsibilities of a
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large family of which I was just
one member of it at this time
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because the other sisters and
brothers had kind of moved on.
00:16:15.57\00:16:21.14
So I was young and that was the
responsibility that my mother
00:16:21.18\00:16:26.95
accepted and she took it very
well. But let me read you the
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rest of the story. Okay.
00:16:32.79\00:16:34.19
What does that mean to you,
this last part of the story.
00:16:45.33\00:16:50.27
Well that God is in this story
still even though it doesn't
00:16:50.31\00:16:55.54
reference him earlier on, its
just is only the two sentences.
00:16:55.58\00:17:00.85
Right. The young
man and I say to you
00:17:00.88\00:17:02.92
and do not weep. But God is
still in the story just like God
00:17:02.98\00:17:08.72
is still in our lives, our young
people's lives. We are still
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in God's will. And that's what
it spoke to me that God is still
00:17:16.23\00:17:23.64
in the story. So a
young person, a young man,
00:17:23.71\00:17:26.57
that's being raised by a single
mother, your saying that they're
00:17:26.61\00:17:30.08
still in the will of God, yes.
They still are in the will of
00:17:30.15\00:17:33.52
God, Yeah.
00:17:33.55\00:17:34.88
Someone may have told them that
they're an accident but they're
00:17:34.92\00:17:37.59
still with the will of God.
00:17:37.62\00:17:38.95
They're still in the will of God
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It's really what God depends
for us is what's important.
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What do you mean by
that, what God depends for us?
00:17:44.39\00:17:48.00
Well when we live our lives we
think that it's only by chance.
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But it's not. It's what
God wants for us is what God is
00:17:56.04\00:18:03.14
to be praised for.
00:18:03.18\00:18:05.88
Amen. So you took your
responsibilities on in your life
00:18:05.91\00:18:11.52
as God's will. Yes. Did you
have any other men in your life
00:18:11.55\00:18:17.16
coming along that
helped you along the way?
00:18:17.19\00:18:18.73
Well you know I still had my
brothers were still in my life.
00:18:18.76\00:18:23.37
But they weren't really a
part of my everyday life because
00:18:23.40\00:18:27.87
they were kind of moved on. So
I also had my sisters, you know,
00:18:27.90\00:18:34.48
who had married.
Right, your brothers-in-law.
00:18:34.51\00:18:36.04
My brothers-in-law,
they were a part of my life.
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Did they teach you anything?
00:18:37.68\00:18:39.01
Yes they did.
They taught me a lot.
00:18:39.05\00:18:40.38
What did they teach you?
00:18:40.42\00:18:41.75
They taught me a lot of
things of responsibility.
00:18:41.78\00:18:45.49
Like what? Did they teach you
how to work a budget. Of course
00:18:45.52\00:18:49.62
you kind of knew that
already working the farm.
00:18:49.66\00:18:51.49
Yeah, I was taught
that really in class.
00:18:51.53\00:18:54.36
Oh, so you
learned that from school?
00:18:54.36\00:18:57.17
I learned that from
school, yeah. But they taught me
00:18:57.23\00:19:03.10
of taking care of my mother and
taking care of our home and our
00:19:03.14\00:19:07.31
family. Wow.
That's pretty amazing.
00:19:07.34\00:19:10.38
How about at church? Were there
men at church that took you like
00:19:10.41\00:19:13.65
over the weekends? Did you spend
weekends with other people,
00:19:13.68\00:19:16.82
other men who mentored you?
00:19:16.85\00:19:18.55
No that was a program that
really was outside of our church
00:19:18.59\00:19:24.19
and happened in other
kids' lives but not in mine, no.
00:19:24.26\00:19:32.03
So you really didn't have all
of that. You didn't have a whole
00:19:32.07\00:19:34.24
lot of nurturing. What
about teachers at school?
00:19:34.27\00:19:37.11
Yeah, there were teachers that
were in my life a little bit,
00:19:37.14\00:19:42.48
but not
necessarily every day, no.
00:19:42.51\00:19:45.01
So you learned to play
basketball. Were you able to use
00:19:45.05\00:19:49.05
basketball to kind of help
you cope with some of these
00:19:49.08\00:19:53.05
pressures that you
had responsibilities.
00:19:53.09\00:19:55.16
Yeah, sports played a
very important part of my life
00:19:55.19\00:19:58.56
because... You know, I'm not
trying to brag but I was pretty
00:19:58.59\00:20:03.67
good. Yeah. I learned a lot
of lessons from those sports.
00:20:03.73\00:20:08.74
Because a sport really is a team
of, in my case, basketball, a
00:20:08.77\00:20:15.28
team of young men who got
together and all with one common
00:20:15.31\00:20:21.75
goal. And as a family you have
to have a common goal. So sports
00:20:21.78\00:20:26.32
did help me there, yeah.
00:20:26.35\00:20:27.69
How much time did you
dedicate to playing basketball?
00:20:27.72\00:20:30.29
Well according to my mother
it was too much time because she
00:20:30.33\00:20:36.63
would say to me you bounce that
ball too much. And in my own
00:20:36.70\00:20:42.94
life I would think, yeah, that I
did probably bounce the ball too
00:20:42.97\00:20:46.71
much. So I only learned those
lessons later on in life that
00:20:46.74\00:20:52.78
what I should have done I didn't
do but what I did do was a lot
00:20:52.81\00:20:58.85
of times what I
shouldn't have done.
00:20:58.89\00:21:00.29
So how did you go on to go to
college? You know a lot of young
00:21:00.36\00:21:03.76
men, according to the statistics
that we mentioned earlier in the
00:21:03.83\00:21:07.76
program, they're at risk,
significantly at risk, to drop
00:21:07.83\00:21:12.43
out of high school. You
didn't drop out of high school.
00:21:12.47\00:21:17.07
No, I didn't and I credit a lot
to the government for creating
00:21:17.11\00:21:24.41
programs for me because when you
are in a single-parent house you
00:21:24.45\00:21:31.79
get assistance from the
government up until a certain
00:21:31.82\00:21:36.26
age to be able to handle those
responsibilities of a father
00:21:36.32\00:21:41.03
being gone or a
parent being gone.
00:21:41.06\00:21:42.80
Are you saying meaning the
finances, was that financial
00:21:42.86\00:21:45.03
help? Yeah, right. But were
there like after-school programs
00:21:45.07\00:21:48.00
or any other programs
that you participated in?
00:21:48.04\00:21:50.74
No those after-school program
were done either by me...
00:21:50.77\00:21:54.48
You were your own
after- school program.
00:21:54.51\00:21:57.95
My own after-school program.
By me or me and my sister.
00:21:58.01\00:22:02.48
Often times my sister, I
remember, cried at the window
00:22:02.52\00:22:06.89
of our house when I would go off
to school, getting on the bus,
00:22:06.96\00:22:11.76
because she had the
responsibility of being the
00:22:11.79\00:22:15.30
mother of the little boy
that she really didn't raise.
00:22:15.33\00:22:24.94
But she had to. Had to, yeah.
Had to see you off to school.
00:22:24.97\00:22:26.31
Yes, had to see
me off to school.
00:22:26.34\00:22:28.04
I'm going to ask you now,
we're going to transition just a
00:22:28.08\00:22:31.71
little bit and the latter part
of that scripture where you said
00:22:31.75\00:22:36.58
you liked the part where God has
visited his people. Yes. Having
00:22:36.65\00:22:41.32
had your upbringing and pretty
much raising yourself, how did
00:22:41.36\00:22:46.03
God visit your life
after that experience?
00:22:46.06\00:22:49.30
As I became an adult God really
had to become a part of my life.
00:22:49.36\00:22:53.97
I mean, he didn't have to but
I had to allow him to be a part
00:22:54.07\00:22:58.67
of my life because I couldn't
get through life without him.
00:22:58.71\00:23:03.45
I could not get to
where I am today without him.
00:23:03.48\00:23:10.09
Wow. So you went to college,
Indiana University and a special
00:23:10.12\00:23:17.93
person came into your life.
00:23:17.96\00:23:20.93
Yes she did. Who was that?
00:23:20.96\00:23:23.83
Well in 1983 I had the pleasure
of marrying Diane. Yes, and
00:23:23.87\00:23:30.01
Diane became big part of my life
00:23:30.07\00:23:34.31
Wow. How long have
you guys been married now?
00:23:34.38\00:23:37.65
We have been
married, ah that's 32 years.
00:23:37.68\00:23:40.92
Thirty-two years. So all the
lessons that you learned growing
00:23:40.95\00:23:44.92
up, about responsibility, all
that advice that had been given
00:23:44.95\00:23:48.86
to you by other men, you've
now been able to put into a
00:23:48.89\00:23:52.53
successful life yourself,
25 years doing accounting.
00:23:52.56\00:23:56.13
And you have two
children. What are they doing?
00:23:56.16\00:23:59.13
My two children are a joy to
my life. I have a daughter who
00:23:59.17\00:24:06.07
is studying to be a doctor and
a son who is a film and video
00:24:06.11\00:24:12.88
editor. Well
that's cool. That's very
00:24:12.91\00:24:15.85
cool. I understand, according
to your wife's report that you
00:24:15.88\00:24:20.39
carried on the skills that
you learned as a young man into
00:24:20.46\00:24:24.89
building your house.
00:24:24.93\00:24:26.26
I did. I often times tell people
that I have the talent and
00:24:26.29\00:24:34.54
skill that I had
00:24:34.57\00:24:35.90
because of my father teaching
me how to build and I actually
00:24:35.94\00:24:39.24
ended up building
our house completely.
00:24:39.27\00:24:42.01
Really? From the ground up?
00:24:42.04\00:24:43.81
From the ground up.
00:24:43.85\00:24:45.18
Ah, how did you do that?
00:24:45.21\00:24:46.55
Your wife says that
you read out of a manual.
00:24:46.58\00:24:50.39
I read a book and built a house.
00:24:50.45\00:24:55.79
How big was the house?
00:24:55.82\00:24:57.19
Five bedrooms.
That's a big house.
00:24:57.23\00:24:58.56
Yes it is. It's a very
large home, a very large home.
00:24:58.59\00:25:01.36
So it sounds like
God really visited you.
00:25:01.40\00:25:04.40
Yes, he did, yes he did.
00:25:04.43\00:25:06.94
In a major way and gave you
incredible, incredible talents
00:25:06.97\00:25:10.64
and skills. He took all those
experiences that you had from
00:25:10.71\00:25:14.98
your life and then just blessed
you to be able to build a house
00:25:15.01\00:25:19.28
for your entire family
and others, five bedrooms.
00:25:19.31\00:25:22.22
Well I realize that if God was
not a part of my life I would
00:25:22.25\00:25:27.69
not be here today. So yes God
did visit his people and me in
00:25:27.72\00:25:33.09
particular. So I
guess now at this stage in
00:25:33.13\00:25:35.86
your life coming down the way
you're looking forward to grand
00:25:35.90\00:25:40.54
children. Not yet.
Not yet but at some point.
00:25:40.60\00:25:43.37
At some point in time. You're
going to be a grand pappy.
00:25:43.47\00:25:46.47
Yeah, I might be one day
eventually but right now my
00:25:46.51\00:25:49.51
kids, I say my kids, but they're
20-some years old, and they're
00:25:49.54\00:25:57.05
not kids anymore. They are going
to have children one day and
00:25:57.09\00:26:04.59
I'll be a grandfather and
hopefully I'll be able to pass
00:26:04.63\00:26:08.73
along to them what it is that
they need to get through life
00:26:08.76\00:26:12.90
like somebody did for me.
00:26:12.93\00:26:14.44
Praise God! And for the young
men who are watching right now
00:26:14.47\00:26:18.41
what could you speak into their
life? What could you say for
00:26:18.44\00:26:22.34
them? Hold onto
God's hand. That's the
00:26:22.38\00:26:27.88
best advice I can give them is
to hold onto God's hand because
00:26:27.92\00:26:34.06
he is the only answer to these
issues and problems. As life
00:26:34.09\00:26:40.40
gets more and more and more
difficult, it's only God's hand
00:26:40.43\00:26:46.63
that will get us through.
00:26:46.70\00:26:48.04
That will get us through. Yes.
Would you offer prayer please
00:26:48.07\00:26:50.77
to close out our program, Gregg.
I will do that, thank you.
00:26:50.81\00:26:54.24
Our Father in heaven, we thank
you so much for the blessings
00:26:54.28\00:26:57.88
that you have given us. Lord
we thank you for giving us the
00:26:57.91\00:27:02.05
opportunities that you
have provided for us and Lord we
00:27:02.08\00:27:06.05
know that it is only because of
your leading and guiding in our
00:27:06.12\00:27:10.16
lives that we are able to
get through day by day. Lord, we
00:27:10.19\00:27:14.73
thank you for what you have
done for us and we pray that as
00:27:14.73\00:27:18.90
we take each step that you
will be with us, in front of us,
00:27:18.93\00:27:23.00
behind us and beside us, helping
us and leading us and telling us
00:27:23.07\00:27:29.11
which ways to go. Lord we pray
that your blessing will be upon
00:27:29.14\00:27:36.08
us and help us Lord each and
every day. In Jesus' name I pray
00:27:36.12\00:27:43.02
Amen. Amen,
amen. Thank you so much
00:27:43.06\00:27:45.69
for coming to the program Gregg
and for sharing your story. We
00:27:45.76\00:27:49.23
really appreciate it. We
certainly hope that today's
00:27:49.26\00:27:52.00
program offers hope that there
is a God who sees us, who's in
00:27:52.03\00:27:57.17
the midst and is able to
resurrect what is dead into life
00:27:57.21\00:28:02.28
in your life. Never forget that.
Hold on. Don't let go. God will
00:28:02.34\00:28:07.18
carry your through. God
bless. Have a great day.
00:28:07.25\00:28:09.98