Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Jennifer Schwirzer
Series Code: IAA
Program Code: IAA000452A
|
00:29 Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn.
00:30 And we welcome you again to Issues and Answers. 00:32 This is a program where we talk about issues 00:35 that are relevant to your life, things, 00:37 problems that people have really around the world. 00:41 And today we're going to be talking about something 00:43 that I think is very critical 00:45 and that is healing from trauma. 00:48 Posttraumatic stress syndrome but not just for war veterans 00:53 who are coming home, but individuals like you and me 00:56 who have been through a traumatic event in our lives. 00:59 And how that affects us mentally, emotionally, 01:03 even physically. 01:04 So our special guest today and I'm so excited 01:08 that she's here with us is Jennifer Jill Schwirzer. 01:11 And Jennifer is from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 01:14 She is a licensed professional counselor 01:17 and an author. 01:18 Jennifer, we are so glad that you're here with us today. 01:21 Welcome. Good to be here. 01:22 Glad to be here. I have to say, you... 01:25 You have, God has given you such a gift of expression. 01:29 You write such beautiful things. 01:33 And I'm so glad I'm on your e-mail list 01:35 because I get your updates from time to time, 01:38 and it's just a treasure to read them. 01:39 You know I see it as knitting like women knit or say, 01:43 I see it as knitting words. 01:45 I do it as kind of a hobby. Yeah. 01:47 That's beautiful. Yeah. 01:49 Before we hop into our topic, 01:51 you have been a frequent guest on 3ABN, 01:54 but we've got so many new viewers from 01:57 that are added every day. 01:59 Tell us a little bit about your life? 02:01 Oh, my life. 02:02 Well, I live in the Philadelphia area 02:04 and I run a private counseling practice 02:06 out of my home office. 02:08 And I write books and articles and I'm also a musician. 02:11 I live with my husband. 02:14 We have two grown children and I have an adorable dog. 02:18 What is his name? 02:19 His name is Fred. 02:21 Fred, we were just talking about she said... 02:22 And I miss him. Yes. 02:24 She said that she was almost obsessed with it because... 02:27 Yeah, I love my dog. 02:28 He is, it's an easy relationship. 02:30 It's an easy relationship. That's right. 02:32 Now, did you grow up in a Christian home? 02:35 No. Well, I did. 02:36 I would call it a nominal Christian home. 02:38 We did attend church. 02:39 I wouldn't say that I had a walk with Jesus growing up. 02:43 No. 02:44 That came to me at 18, 19 years old, 02:46 when I met him for the first time. 02:49 Why don't we, that's... 02:51 That's a whole different story. 02:52 I know, I've just said, okay, let's talk about that, 02:54 but we want to jump into our topic for today. 02:56 Yeah. 02:58 You were telling me and sharing just a little of a story 03:00 about Eugene when we were in the greenroom. 03:01 Tell us about Eugene? Yes, Eugene, a client of mine. 03:04 And he is a very good illustration 03:09 of what I'm going to be talking about today 03:10 which is trauma recovery. 03:12 His whole story really 03:13 has the signature of God upon it. 03:16 And I'll give it to you in brief. 03:18 Eugene came to me after his wife died, 03:21 he is in his late 40s and Eugene's history 03:25 is one of the most desperate 03:27 and horrible that I've ever heard. 03:29 This man was raised in a very abusive home 03:32 and was violently abused, sexually and physically 03:35 by his father from the time he was three. 03:38 So he went through that horrific childhood 03:39 where his moral sensibilities 03:41 were affected by the environment, 03:43 like he just didn't even really know the difference 03:46 between right and wrong. 03:47 So Eugene came into adulthood, severely compromised 03:51 and interestingly enough, 03:52 his father was a deacon of a church. 03:55 So he came into adulthood very compromised 03:57 and unfortunately developed his own sexual addiction. 04:01 I think out of the environment which he'd been raised 04:04 and the trauma he'd experienced. 04:06 And unfortunately some of that sexual addiction involved 04:09 child pornography which is illegal. 04:11 Well, he didn't even really understand that. 04:13 In fact, he remembers the moment it came to him 04:16 in a counseling session 04:17 that it was truly exploitive to children 04:20 and that it was illegal to even view child pornography. 04:24 This is how compromised his moral understanding was. 04:28 And so Eugene came into adulthood 04:30 very compromised, terrible pornography addiction. 04:33 He was married and his wife died 04:37 and that's what drove him to come to counseling. 04:39 It was a wake up call that God used to get him 04:42 to the place where he wanted to do anything 04:45 to get out of that lifestyle. 04:47 And so he came to counseling 04:48 and he was the most serious recovery client 04:53 I've ever had. 04:54 He was so committed to recovery and the Lord blessed him. 04:57 And very quickly he got out of that lifestyle. 05:00 The sort of addendum to the story is that 05:03 he was in the process of cleaning off 05:05 the hard drives. 05:06 He had many hard drives in his home 05:08 that had these images on them. 05:09 He was a kind of a computer geek 05:11 and so he has lots and lots of hard drives. 05:13 And he was in the process of cleaning them off 05:16 and you have to hook your hard drive up 05:17 to a computer and he hooked his phone up 05:20 around the same time and accidentally uploaded 05:23 all of those images to what we call the cloud 05:26 and the Internet service provider 05:28 found those images, 05:29 sent the county to his door with eight detectives. 05:32 And now he's facing jail time. Oh, bless his heart. 05:35 And you know, it breaks my heart 05:37 because this man has already, he's not a danger to children, 05:40 he's out of the lifestyle. 05:41 It's true he broke the law, and the law is the law. 05:45 At the same time, it makes my heart ache 05:47 because he's already had so much difficulty in his life 05:50 and I just feel like, going to prison 05:52 is just one more insult upon him, 05:54 but I have to surrender it to the Lord 05:56 and he surrenders it to the Lord and says, 05:58 they meant it for evil but God meant it for good, 06:00 just like Joseph said of his time in prison. 06:03 So no matter, you know, this is what impressed me 06:06 when you were talking about him in the greenroom was that 06:09 this was a man who came to you very broken, 06:12 but as you introduced him to God and he really got to see 06:17 the picture of a loving God, you mentioned that 06:20 for everything he's been through, 06:22 he still has a very buoyant spirit. 06:24 He's incredible. 06:26 He is so completely free of self-pity. 06:28 Many people that have been through abuse struggle 06:31 with self-pity and for good reason, 06:33 you can almost give them the right to that 06:35 but it doesn't tend to help them really 06:37 when they even wallow in what happened to them. 06:39 He is a quite different than that, 06:42 he's a very, very positive, 06:44 very, very unwilling to be bitter 06:48 and resentful toward his father. 06:50 He's gone through the process of forgiving his father. 06:52 And he's in spite of all that's going on 06:54 in his life, he's very positive. 06:57 Anybody that can say, the devil meant it for evil 06:59 but God meant it for good. 07:01 That is absolutely true. That's right. 07:02 And everything, 07:03 this is the amazing thing about God. 07:05 You know, He doesn't cause evil, 07:08 the devil causes evil, but God allows evil 07:11 because He has to allow sin to manifest itself 07:15 for what it really is. 07:16 He has to allow us the freedom to sin. 07:18 And so He allows evil but what He does is, 07:21 He's constantly in the process of then 07:24 owning that those things, 07:25 those unfortunate things that happen 07:27 and turning them into really monuments 07:30 for His glory if people will allow Him 07:32 to work with them and that's what He has done 07:34 in Eugene's life. 07:36 He's going to use this man in prison 07:38 if that's where he ends up 07:40 and it looks like he will end up there. 07:41 Well, let me ask you this question. 07:43 Would you say that Eugene suffered 07:45 from posttraumatic stress syndrome? 07:46 I do believe he did. 07:48 In fact there was a period of time 07:49 when memories were coming back, he was having nightmares, 07:52 he would even react in such a way 07:54 that he would wake up 07:56 with a physical marks on his body 07:57 as a result of nightmares about getting attacked by his father. 08:02 And so he was having severe PTSD symptoms. 08:06 And we had to work through... 08:08 When you said, "physical marks," excuse me! 08:09 Yeah, I know, I know. 08:11 You're saying, it can warp some things, right? 08:12 Hard to believe but apparently 08:13 there's such an intimate relationship 08:15 between the body and the mind 08:16 that this is not an uncommon thing. 08:18 You know, it is not that difficult for me 08:19 to believe in, when I was in college 08:22 we did a test in psychology, where we took 08:26 and it was meant to be an innocent test 08:28 but, something we were curious about. 08:31 We took an ice cube, blindfolded someone, 08:34 put an ice cube on their arm, and at the very same time 08:37 took a branding iron to a steak, 08:40 and seared the steak 08:42 which was releasing the smell of flesh. 08:44 Okay. 08:46 A smell of flesh, just in the room, 08:48 and just his brain smelling the smell of flesh, 08:51 feeling the ice cube which I guess, 08:54 the brain distinguish whether it was an ice cube 08:57 or a hot searing iron. 09:00 He actually got a very bad burn where the ice cube touched. 09:03 Isn't that something? 09:05 And so the brain is reacting, that is something. 09:08 And this man had those kinds of experiences 09:10 where he would wake up with marks on his body 09:13 that correlated with whatever dream he had, 09:15 very, very bizarre. 09:16 So he went through a process 09:17 of really processing that trauma, 09:20 but at this point he has pretty much let go 09:23 and come out the other end, so it's really a miracle. 09:25 Okay, so what are... 09:28 Give us the symptoms because I'm sure 09:30 that there's someone who's watching 09:31 that will want to know, 09:33 what are the symptoms of posttraumatic stress syndrome? 09:36 Because someone could be in a bad accident, 09:38 they can witness a murder. 09:39 They could have physical or sexual abuse. 09:42 There's so many things that can happen that causes. 09:45 What are the symptoms? Right. 09:46 The three classic markers for PTS syndrome, 09:51 they're calling it syndrome now because they figure, 09:53 it's not really a disorder, it means, 09:54 it's an appropriate response to trauma. 09:56 So the three markers are nightmares, 09:59 flashbacks and extreme trigger ability 10:02 where you get around anything that reminds you of that trauma 10:06 and you go back to that place. 10:08 So let me clarify on 10:10 how normal memory processing takes place 10:12 and that will help us understand 10:14 posttraumatic stress. 10:15 Normal memory processing involves experiencing 10:19 some kind of trauma 10:21 and then for usually a couple of days anyway, 10:24 after that trauma, you kind of are still 10:27 in that emotional place. 10:28 For instance, you have a car accident, 10:30 and for the next 24 hours every time you remember 10:33 the car accident, you feel those feelings all over again, 10:36 but gradually as you process that memory, 10:39 the mind takes out the emotional charge so that, 10:42 it's kind of like a filing system in the brain 10:44 where you can file the memory in terms of fact 10:47 and you can recall that memory 10:49 without re-experiencing those emotions. 10:51 That is normal healthy memory processing. 10:55 I have a friend who lost her leg 10:57 in a car accident and she was telling me 10:59 about the experience and how she lost her leg, 11:02 and she went through all the details of that, 11:04 and the thing that was remarkable about her 11:06 telling me this is that she was smiling the whole time, 11:09 but that was because she processed the event. 11:11 She had loved ones, family support, 11:13 she talked about it, talked it through 11:15 and her brain was able to process 11:17 to where she can recall the facts 11:18 without re-experiencing it. 11:20 What happens with posttraumatic stress, 11:22 it is thought is that that processing 11:24 never really took place. 11:26 The memory is inadequately processed 11:28 or ineffectively processed, and the nightmares, 11:31 and the flashbacks, and the trigger ability 11:33 are the brain's attempt to bring that trauma 11:36 to the front so to speak 11:38 so that that person can successfully process it. 11:42 But there's something broken in the way 11:44 that it's being processed 11:45 and that's where therapy comes in 11:46 and that's what we try to correct in therapy. 11:49 Okay, so you've treated Eugene. 11:50 Have you treated others who have... 11:52 What are some of the things in your practice 11:56 that you've seen the issues 11:58 that have created posttraumatic stress? 12:00 Abuse is a big one for me. 12:02 I don't treat very many veterans, 12:06 but a lot of abuse, sexual abuse victims, 12:08 physical abuse victims and so, yes, 12:11 I have worked with many victims that are suffering 12:14 from one form of trauma or another. 12:16 So there are a few different therapies 12:18 that have actually been scientifically validated, 12:21 and it's very interesting how they work. 12:24 One of them, and this seems a little, 12:26 a little sketchy maybe to some people. 12:30 By the way, I'm against hypnosis. 12:31 I don't like hypnosis because in hypnosis 12:34 one person's mind is controlling 12:36 another person's mind. 12:37 And I don't think we should ever surrender our will 12:39 to another person. 12:41 There's a therapy that actually works 12:43 for posttraumatic stress, 12:44 that on the surface it looks like hypnosis 12:46 but it is really very different 12:48 because the person retains their free will. 12:50 And it's called Eye Movement Desensitization 12:52 and Reprocessing, EMDR. 12:55 And it was discovered by a woman 12:56 named Francine Shapiro, 12:58 who was thinking about a traumatic event 13:00 when she was in a park one day. 13:01 And she was looking across the horizon, 13:04 looking at the trees, and the birds, 13:06 and the lake and so forth. 13:07 And realized that as she moved her eyes in that fashion, 13:12 she didn't feel as traumatized by the memory of this trauma. 13:17 And so she put together a form of therapy 13:20 that moved the eyes back and forth 13:22 through the field of vision to what they call 13:24 bilateralize the brain, 13:26 activate both hemispheres of the brain. 13:28 And they're not sure why? 13:29 But they know that when the brain 13:31 is fully activated like that, it tends to process better. 13:34 And so what I do is, sometimes the clinicians 13:37 will use a light going back and forth 13:40 and that's where it starts looking like hypnosis. 13:41 I don't do that kind of thing. I just take people outside. 13:44 And I say, look at that beautiful tree 13:45 and look at the bird and let's talk about 13:47 what you went through in this context of nature. 13:50 I have a beautiful park near my house 13:52 and sometimes we take walks 13:53 and I try to get their eyes moving 13:55 while they're talking about the trauma 13:57 and that can sometimes help them 13:59 process it effectively. 14:01 That is fascinating. Isn't that fascinating? 14:02 Yeah, it's very interesting. Yes, it is. 14:04 Another way of dealing with trauma. 14:06 And I have a number of distance clients 14:08 where I meet with them on the phone or Skype. 14:11 So I can't take them for walks, at least I haven't tried yet. 14:15 It would be interesting, 14:16 but I do deep relaxation with them, deep breathing 14:20 and tensing and relaxing their muscles, 14:22 getting them in a very relaxed state, 14:24 praying with them and then in that context 14:26 of the trusting relationship with me 14:29 and their deeply relaxed state, 14:31 they review that traumatic material 14:33 and sometimes they can form a new association 14:36 between I'm relaxed, and I can remember this 14:39 while I'm relaxed rather than always being in a rouse state 14:43 when they're remembering that particular trauma. 14:45 So that's another thing that can sometimes work. 14:48 The most important thing that we can do though 14:50 and this is something anyone can do, 14:51 you don't have to have any special training, 14:53 be a good listener. 14:55 Because being able to share the trauma, 14:58 the difficulty that that person went through, 15:01 the pain that they endured 15:03 is a big part of them being able to let go. 15:06 If people can just talk to someone 15:09 about what they went through. 15:10 And if that person will exercise good listening skills, 15:14 reflecting back to them what they're hearing them say, 15:17 asking probing questions to draw them out. 15:20 A lot of times that's all a person needs 15:22 to be able to let go of that trauma 15:25 because we human beings are... 15:27 We love to hang on to history. 15:29 You know, we have this tremendous drive 15:30 to archive things 15:32 and to hang on to our personal history. 15:34 And sometimes, if we can share with another person 15:37 and maybe they even write it down 15:39 that gives us a sense of, we know where it is, 15:41 we can let go now. 15:43 So yeah. It's interesting. 15:44 But I think that we do hang on to things particularly, 15:47 it seems that a lot of people are prone to negative events 15:51 in their life have made a greater emotional impact 15:54 and memory is created 15:57 when there is an emotional impact. 15:59 So a lot people hang on to those 16:02 and they won't let them go to God though. 16:03 You bring up such a really good point 16:05 because there is a very fine line here. 16:08 We want to process these events 16:10 but we don't want to over process 16:12 and because the mind is negatively biased, 16:15 we tend to be problem focused, 16:17 we tend to be negatively biased as human beings. 16:20 We have to be proactive about focusing on the positive. 16:23 So what I find is that 16:25 people will fall into one of two ditches, 16:26 they'll lock up and they won't talk about the event 16:29 and they'll stuff it and then it will come out another way, 16:32 either through physical symptoms 16:33 or they'll start having anxiety or different, you know, 16:37 maladaptive behaviors so to speak 16:40 or people talk about it too much, 16:41 and they dwell upon it too much and they over process. 16:44 And like you said, they won't let go of it to God. 16:47 And they end up actually driving the thorns 16:49 more deeply into their flesh so to speak. 16:52 And how do you get someone who does, there are... 16:55 And I seem to run into quite a number of people 16:59 who rehearse their problems 17:02 again and again and again and you can get... 17:04 If they get focused in on the Word of God 17:07 and they're focusing on His promises, 17:09 for a while that will bring them out of that 17:11 but just let something trigger it and then they, 17:14 they just pushed right back down into that ditch 17:17 of rehearsing the past. 17:20 What do you do with someone like that? 17:22 Sent him to a professional counselor? 17:24 Well, yes, in a way or you can approach it 17:29 with a more structured approach yourself 17:31 because what happens with people 17:33 that are processing and that are kind of stuck 17:36 in negativity is a lot of times they become draining socially. 17:40 And so people will start avoiding them. 17:42 So what I like to do in situations like that 17:45 is try to structure the time 17:47 and I will be very honest with them. 17:49 This is a difficult thing to do, 17:51 but I will be very honest with them and say, 17:53 you're talking about this quite a lot. 17:56 And I want to be able to help you, 17:58 but I have limited time and limited energy. 18:01 So if we can keep it to one half hour today, 18:04 we'll talk about it and then can we for the rest of the day 18:07 not talk about it at all. 18:09 And then if you need to talk about it again, 18:11 we'll set up another appointment. 18:12 So I'll be very boundaried and very structured 18:16 in my listening but when I have a time with them, 18:19 they'll have me a 100%. 18:21 And I'll really try to focus, and try to draw them out 18:24 and get them to really talk about it. 18:25 So that may help in social situations 18:27 where a person is rehearsing something 18:29 is to be honest with them. 18:31 You know, you seem to need to talk about this 18:33 or want to talk about this a lot. 18:35 And I want to be able to help you, 18:37 but I have limited time and energy, 18:39 can we do it this way? 18:40 And try to like literally 18:42 set up an appointment with them. 18:43 That's very good. Yeah. 18:44 But what do you do when people, 18:46 if you take it a step further, 18:47 if this is an event that has happened. 18:50 Or a pattern of events that have happened, 18:52 say 20 years back 18:54 and they still continually rehearse those, 18:56 there's got to be a... 18:59 A point where they can let go. 19:00 And I know that I'm not the only one. 19:02 I'm sure, you know someone like that 19:03 and quite often as you said, 19:05 people begin to avoid these people. 19:07 There are people within churches 19:09 as I go and minister. 19:11 There's people that will come up and say, 19:12 well, don't get them started, you know, we kind of, 19:16 we have to look the other way when they're coming 19:18 because it's the same old story all the time 19:21 for the last ten years. 19:22 Yeah. 19:23 How can you reach someone like that, 19:25 if they won't go to a professional counselor, 19:27 is there a way? 19:29 Well, have you... 19:30 My first question would be have you encourage them 19:31 to see a professional and have you tried to get them 19:34 lined up with a professional? 19:36 Have you been willing to pay for the first two sessions? 19:38 Or help them research their insurance 19:41 and see what it will cover and what it won't? 19:43 So that they, because it could be, 19:45 and you don't really know this just having 19:48 sort of a random encounter with them. 19:49 Maybe they do need to process that more fully, 19:52 maybe they haven't processed it successfully yet 19:55 and maybe a professional will be able to help them 19:58 beyond that threshold. 19:59 So you don't know if they're just being negative 20:02 or if they're really damaged and they need help. 20:05 So to encourage them to see a professional 20:07 and then help facilitate that by offering, 20:10 you know, financial help. 20:11 I mean, we're all going to be broke 20:13 and exhausted by the end of this but, you know, 20:15 who are we if we claim to be following Jesus 20:17 and we're not willing to at least try 20:19 to help hurting people and stretch ourselves out. 20:22 I mean, can you imagine how many stories 20:23 he heard as he walked? 20:25 I mean, he walked everywhere he went. 20:27 And so he often had a walking partner. 20:30 I'm sure there were a lot of conversations 20:31 and there was a lot of processing going on, 20:34 even with the apostles, you know, as they, 20:35 and Paul and his partners, 20:37 I'm sure there was a lot of kind of 20:38 spontaneous counseling sessions. 20:40 I'm sure, you know there were. 20:42 Yes. I know how it goes. 20:44 But the one thing that 20:46 I'd like you to address for just a second 20:48 is if someone is going to seek a professional counselor, 20:52 can you give a guideline to the type of counselor, 20:56 because you can send someone to a secular counseling session 21:01 that they may end up in worse condition than they were. 21:05 Yes, it depends on the individual. 21:08 A lot of secular counselors 21:11 are now using cognitive behavioral therapy, 21:14 which is simply a means of controlling your thought life. 21:18 And it's scientifically validated 21:19 and it can be very helpful, 21:21 even if that person isn't 100% in line with you religiously, 21:24 they may be able to help but of course ideally 21:27 we're going to want someone who to really harmonizes 21:31 with a biblical worldview. 21:33 And so there are different resources available, 21:37 there are Christian websites, 21:39 where you can find a Christian counselor. 21:41 The American Christian Counselor Association 21:45 has a website. 21:47 Find a counselor link on that website. 21:49 The radio program New Life Live has a website, 21:53 and you can find a counselor on that website. 21:56 If you want a Seventh-day Adventist, 21:57 you happen to be a Seventh-day Adventist 21:58 and believe me, I know, 22:00 if you're a Seventh-day Adventist, 22:01 most of the time you're going to want an Adventist counselor 22:03 because there are certain things about Adventism 22:05 that you don't want to have to explain 22:07 and get your counselor to understand. 22:08 So it's good to have someone 22:10 that really understands you religiously. 22:12 You can go on the North American division 22:13 family life website 22:15 and they have a database of counselors. 22:17 Wonderful. 22:19 So those are some just beginning points. 22:20 Okay. 22:21 So the North American Division website... 22:24 The family life part of the North American division 22:27 of Seventh-day Adventists has a database of counselors. 22:30 I would recommend that in addition to those things, 22:33 you try to find, you try to find someone 22:37 who has had a good experience with a counselor. 22:39 You get a referral of a person that has a reputation 22:43 for helping people. 22:45 Okay, Jennifer you obviously, 22:47 I know, you know the science, you studied that 22:49 but you obviously also have a close relationship with Lord. 22:52 Tell us how much God makes a difference 22:56 when you are working with your clients? 22:59 I always pray in sessions, I pray at the end 23:02 because I feel like, then I know 23:03 what we need to pray about. 23:05 Some counselors like to pray in the beginning, 23:06 some clients like to pray both at the beginning and end, 23:09 I like to give them that option. 23:11 But I always pray with my clients. 23:12 I've had a few clients that are not even believers per se 23:16 and I just tell them upfront, 23:17 I believe that the success of this process 23:20 really ultimately depends upon God 23:22 and so if it's all right with you, 23:23 I will pray at the end of the session. 23:26 And so far nobody has objected. 23:28 So there's always prayer in sessions 23:30 and there's always, you know, 23:32 there's kind of a fine line we walk. 23:34 We want to use methods and we want to use tools, 23:38 I'm a big advocate of tools and I kind of feel like 23:41 when I work with a client, 23:43 I'm like a carpenter going into a situation 23:46 sizing up a repair that needs to be made 23:48 and then pulling out the right tools. 23:49 It's like I fit the modality to the client, 23:52 not the client to the modality. 23:54 I don't say, I already know what's wrong with you. 23:56 I don't even know you and I can tell you, 23:57 I need to put you through these paces. 23:59 I try to get to know the person so that I can apply the tools 24:02 that I know to their specific situations. 24:05 So I'm a big advocate of tools in counseling. 24:08 However I have to walk a fine line 24:09 because methods don't ultimately fix people. 24:12 The Holy Spirit coming into their lives 24:14 and transforming them is the source of power. 24:16 Okay. 24:18 So do me a favor, we have about three minutes left. 24:22 Please speak to the mother, the father, 24:26 the husband or wife who is out there. 24:28 Who sees that their loved one has these particular symptoms 24:35 and the loved one may not be recognizing it. 24:37 What can, not the person 24:40 who's suffering from posttraumatic stress syndrome, 24:43 but what can a loved one do to get their relative 24:48 or their loved one on the right path? 24:49 Okay, Well, 24:52 it would help to be very honest in a loving gracious kind way. 24:58 I notice that you're having these symptoms 25:01 or I notice you acting this particular way 25:04 in these given circumstances. 25:07 And ask the person, have you ever thought that 25:09 maybe getting some professional help 25:12 would help you get through this. 25:14 And try to get them into a dialog about it. 25:17 Don't expect to convince them in the first conversation 25:20 but whatever you do, don't create a power struggle 25:22 where you're insisting on them going and that creates 25:25 an additional problem where they feel like, 25:27 they have to win the argument. 25:28 Open up a dialog with them and then do some legwork, 25:31 try to find a good clinician that you've heard good things 25:34 about that can work with them. 25:35 And you know something that I'm learning the more 25:37 I work with people who have suffered 25:42 sexual abuse or rape. 25:43 Often they are very reluctant to share that 25:47 and their families don't even realize 25:49 they're going through it. 25:51 So this is something that if you have a loved one 25:55 who you suddenly seen a change of behavior, 25:58 you know, you need to watch and see 26:01 what's causing that change of behavior. 26:03 Particularly, if you notice that 26:05 their anxiety is triggered by certain thing, 26:07 they're having anxiety attacks or perhaps 26:10 they, you know, they're having nightmares, 26:11 they've mentioned that on a consistent basis. 26:15 We need to have family systems 26:16 that aren't afraid to upset the applecart, 26:19 where kids can admit when something goes wrong 26:21 in their lives. 26:23 Don't traumatize them again by having a family system, 26:27 where you're not allowed to talk about negative things. 26:29 Create an openness in your family system. 26:31 Amen. Amen. Yeah. 26:33 So I just think that the most important thing 26:37 that we've learned today is that God can change people. 26:42 And we're going to be praying for Eugene. 26:44 That's somebody that, I'm glad that God turned him around 26:48 but as you said, he may be using him 26:50 as a missionary in the prison system. 26:52 Yeah, I think he will. 26:54 I know he will, I know he will. 26:55 Yeah. 26:57 Well, we're very sorry for his circumstances, 26:58 but we'll be praying for him. 26:59 Pray for him, please. You bet. 27:01 Thank you so much for... 27:02 It's been my pleasure. For being here. 27:03 We just love it when you're hearing, 27:05 you're going to come back and we're going to do 27:06 a couple more programs with Jennifer Jill. 27:10 Once again, if you are suffering yourself 27:15 from flashbacks, from nightmares 27:18 or these anxiety attacks, please seek out help. 27:22 Please talk to someone, even if it's just beginning 27:25 by talking with your loved one. 27:26 And if you have a loved one 27:28 who is suffering from these symptoms, 27:30 please be gentle with them and try to encourage them 27:33 to get the help they need. 27:35 Now our prayer for you is that 27:36 the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, 27:39 the love of the Father, 27:40 and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit 27:42 will be with you today and always. |
Revised 2017-09-18