Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Marie Fischer
Series Code: IAA
Program Code: IAA000450A
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00:29 Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn
00:30 and we welcome you to Issues and Answers. 00:32 We're already having fun here in the studio 00:35 and we're so glad that you're joining us 00:36 whether you're watching by television, or internet, 00:39 or perhaps listening on the radio. 00:41 This program we are going to be speaking to the issue 00:45 of choosing a mate. 00:47 Oh, boy, I always tell people 00:50 the second most important thing that you ever do in your life 00:55 is to choose a mate. 00:57 The first, of course, 00:58 is to accept Christ as your savior. 00:59 But other than that, 01:01 the second most important decision 01:03 you ever make in your life is who you choose for mate 01:05 because marriage can be a little bit of heaven on earth 01:09 which I'm pleased to say my marriage is, 01:12 or I've seen too many others that it's just hell on earth. 01:17 So our returning guest we had, 01:21 we're so glad to have Marie Fischer back with us 01:23 from Jay, Oklahoma. 01:25 Marie, thank you for returning to 3ABN. 01:28 And I'm glad to be here. Well, we're glad you're here. 01:31 You know, we talked, you were here before 01:34 and we spoke to your past, 01:36 which was one of some pretty serious abuse, 01:40 which sent you kind of in a spiral if you will 01:44 and you made some wrong choices. 01:47 When you tried to choose a mate for yourself 01:50 without God's input, how did it go? 01:53 Well, when you were saying the second most important thing 01:56 that you could do is choose a mate, 01:58 I was thinking, "Oh, no, Shelley, you're so wrong." 02:01 The second most important thing I was thinking that 02:03 you could do is that God choose that mate for you. 02:05 There you go. Amen. 02:06 Because if I left it up to me, which I did, 02:10 I ended up with multiple marriages 02:12 choosing them my own way, my own desires. 02:17 And it can, like you said be hell on earth 02:20 and it was for me, because I chose 02:23 because of my behavior, because of my past, 02:26 because of the abuse I chose people 02:28 that I felt comfortable with. 02:30 I was used to controlling abusive men. 02:34 Yes. So I chose them. 02:36 And that's you see that all the time, 02:38 you see somebody that grows up with an alcoholic father 02:42 who turn around and marry an alcoholic 02:44 and you think, "Why would they do that?" 02:47 Or you see someone who may have had 02:48 a really controlling wife or mother 02:52 who just really kind of messed up their life 02:54 and they felt browbeaten, and yet they'll turn around 02:56 and they marry somebody who is really controlling. 02:59 It's what we know. 03:01 I think it's what we know, it's where, 03:03 even though we may not like it, 03:05 it's where we feel comfortable 03:07 because it's what you've known all. 03:08 I had a very controlling father, 03:11 he had a very bad temper, he was good to me 03:15 and good to his children, 03:16 but he was hard on my mom but I knew it. 03:20 I knew that how to maneuver around that type of situation 03:25 and because of my past that you had mentioned, 03:27 you know, the abuse and everything, 03:29 I never felt worthy to have anything better. 03:31 Yes, yes. 03:33 So you did, it did lead to multiple marriages, 03:37 but how did you come to understand that God, 03:42 you needed God in this process. 03:44 Well, after failure after failure, 03:46 choosing the wrong one, something had to give. 03:49 Something had to change, right? 03:51 Well, I came out of a bad relationship 03:53 and then I chose to marry an Adventist man, 03:56 thinking that he's a Christian 03:58 and so everything would be good. 04:00 He wouldn't cheat on me, he wouldn't do the things 04:02 that other relationships had done which he didn't. 04:05 You know, but he was a lot older than I was 04:08 and he had five children 04:10 which I wouldn't trade for anything, 04:11 and that's a whole another topic, 04:13 but I wouldn't trade for anything, 04:14 but I still made bad choices. 04:16 Even though he was an Adventist of my same faith, 04:20 there had to be more than 04:21 just being the same faith, you know. 04:23 You can't just say being equally yoked, 04:26 so I'll marry an Adventist and everything will be fine. 04:29 You still need the guidance of God, 04:30 you still need common ground and common factors. 04:34 You know, I'm so glad you said that about having things 04:37 in common other than just the religion. 04:39 Now, of course, you can marry someone 04:41 with whom you have many things in common, 04:43 and if you are unequally yoked as far as your faith, 04:47 it can be disastrous in a relationship. 04:50 But just because you share the same faith, 04:53 it doesn't mean you're going to have a good marriage 04:56 with someone. 04:57 So what types of things do you think are important 04:59 or to proven important in your life 05:01 to have in common with the person 05:04 with whom you think 05:06 you will spend the rest of your life? 05:07 Well, I think it's very important 05:09 to have the same worship ethics as well. 05:12 You know, their prayer life together is important 05:15 and we didn't have that, although he was an Adventist, 05:17 I had great expectations. 05:19 Yes. 05:20 But they weren't there and he was so much older 05:22 that I thought he would have been, 05:24 you know, the worship leader of my home, 05:27 you know, we'd have family worship 05:29 and we didn't talk about those things 05:31 which we just assumed that we'd be on the same page. 05:34 Also I had five stepchildren 05:37 which were closer in my age than his, 05:39 so I did more things with them than I did with him. 05:42 And he worked out of town 05:43 and just a lot of things that I didn't realize. 05:46 So what you're saying, he was how much older than you? 05:48 Fourteen years. And that's quite a gap. 05:51 He was closer to my mother's age. 05:52 Yeah, that is quite a gap. 05:54 So in common, let's just hit this 05:57 because I know that having the same value system 06:00 is very important. 06:01 You can go to the same church and not have the same values. 06:03 Absolutely. 06:04 But that is one that's always proven critical. 06:07 I think money habits are very important. 06:10 I was going to say that. 06:11 Money is very important you need to discuss 06:13 that kind of thing and I was only 21 06:15 when I married him and he was almost 35. 06:18 So I didn't even have any concept of 06:23 how it was going to be with money 06:24 because I was independent, I always worked, 06:26 I had my own money, I didn't have a clue 06:29 how it would be with an older gentleman, 06:31 and how he felt about me, 06:33 and how he felt about sharing his money. 06:36 And I didn't have money, 06:37 you know, I wasn't given money I wasn't given a budget, 06:40 I wasn't given anything from him, 06:42 so that was, right there was a problem, 06:43 the money was an issue right there from then... 06:45 It's huge. It's huge. 06:47 Plus, he had children, he had gone places 06:50 that I had never been and you don't think about that. 06:52 You need to discuss things like 06:54 where do we want to go on vacation. 06:56 He was used to making 06:57 all the decisions for his children 06:59 and I just kind of fit right into that. 07:00 So age is a huge factor, and money is a huge factor, 07:04 and faith is a huge factor. 07:06 And I do know something wonderful 07:08 May-December relationships 07:09 where you have a partner typically it's, 07:11 the man is older. 07:13 You don't generally see a man marry a woman 20 years older, 07:16 and I know men whose wives are up to ten years older. 07:20 But the point is that I always tell people, ideally, 07:24 five years is an age difference is pretty much, 07:29 that was my personal limit actually. 07:31 I didn't want to marry somebody much older than I am. 07:33 I tend to agree with you now from experience 07:36 because I had one 14 years older, 07:39 then I jumped out of that marriage 07:40 after nine and a half years 07:42 and a bad relationship and everything. 07:44 And I had my second husband nine years younger. 07:47 So there's what a 23 year span there. 07:49 Right. 07:51 Age is a huge factor and I chose not this marriage 07:57 because of the age or the other marriage 07:59 because of the age. 08:00 I chose one because I said, "Oh, he's an Adventist." 08:02 I said, "Oh, it'll be wonderful." 08:04 And then I chose the other one out of love without God. 08:08 Okay. 08:09 Which was another huge mistake. 08:10 And, you know, the thing that I think young people look at, 08:13 age doesn't seem, 08:15 you know, the age difference between 21 and 35 08:18 that doesn't seem really that big a deal. 08:20 But suddenly, when you are 41 and he's 50 or 65 08:27 it's beginning to make a bigger difference. 08:29 You know, you marry someone, you have to think 08:31 that you're going to be married for life. 08:33 But you mentioned the love, how do people, 08:37 you know, that many people will marry. 08:39 I think the biggest mistake is to marry for security, 08:42 you know, people that marry for money of course. 08:46 I mean that's going to be disastrous from the beginning 08:48 because there needs to be that love and commitment. 08:51 But how do you know really 08:54 if you haven't got God involved in this, 08:56 how do you know what love is? 08:59 A lot of times it's a physical attraction 09:02 which you're feeling for someone, 09:04 but how would you speak to love and commitment? 09:08 Well, I didn't know love and commitment 09:10 because I didn't know Christ. 09:12 When I was choosing a mate, I was choosing a mate, 09:15 I was choosing a mate for religious reasons 09:19 that he wouldn't cheat on me, and he would be stable, 09:21 and it would be good, and it still was no love. 09:24 You know, I didn't know how to love, 09:26 I didn't know how to give him everything 09:27 because I didn't understand the love of God. 09:30 And so then when I was out of that relationship 09:33 and jumped into another relationship with a man 09:35 that was younger than me, that wasn't the issue either, 09:37 but he made me laugh and I felt free. 09:40 I didn't feel stifled under a father figure. 09:43 And that's what I had with my first marriage 09:45 is a father figure. 09:47 And when you experience, 09:49 because I know there are so many 09:50 who are watching who've been through, 09:52 sadly have been through a divorce 09:54 and maybe you've been involved in multiple marriages, 09:57 and you still say, I still don't have it right. 10:00 But did you feel any sense of shame or guilt 10:06 toward God because... 10:07 Oh, absolutely. 10:09 Towards my church, towards my family, towards God, 10:12 the children that were involved, 10:14 even though there were stepchildren 10:15 and then adopted children, the separation of family, 10:19 you know, it's not biblical to do these things. 10:21 And so you have a huge sense of guilt, 10:23 a huge sense of shame, 10:25 and an acceptance from your church, 10:28 it's a horrible thing, 10:29 and you don't ever feel like you could be used by God. 10:32 Because there again, you have that stigma, 10:34 I've been married twice, I've been married three times, 10:36 or whatever, you know. 10:38 And we want to make sure that 10:39 we really clearly state that yes, 10:44 the Bible says, God says in Malachi 10:46 that He hates divorce. 10:48 And the reason He hates divorce is because He knows 10:51 how it's going to affect the family, 10:53 He knows the pain that divorce causes. 10:55 But divorce is not the unpardonable sin. 10:58 So if you are a divorced, viewer or listener, 11:02 please know that God is the God of new beginnings. 11:05 Amen. 11:06 And, Shelley, that's exactly what God did for me. 11:09 In fact, I look at Matthew 6:33 11:14 and this is what I started doing. 11:15 It says, but seek ye first the kingdom of God, 11:18 and his righteousness, 11:19 and all these things shall be added unto you. 11:21 And so I started claiming that as a promise 11:23 that God would give me the man of my dreams 11:26 if that's what God wanted for me. 11:29 But the most important thing was that 11:31 I was seeking Him first 11:33 and that I learned to like who I was. 11:35 That was huge, you know, 11:37 I had to be comfortable in my own skin. 11:39 I had to be comfortable and like who I was 11:41 because the other marriages had made me feel less than. 11:45 Well, and you had to know who you were too. 11:48 You know, you didn't have a very good... 11:51 You kind of had identity crisis if you will 11:53 because you had been coming out of an abusive situation 11:58 or lifestyle and then here you are 12:01 having multiple marriages. 12:03 So you don't know who you are, 12:05 how can you choose for yourself a mate? 12:08 I spent a lot of time reading the scriptures and books, 12:12 I delved into books that Date or Soul Mate, 12:15 He's Just Not Into You, Boundaries in Relationship, 12:18 which is a Christian book, sets boundaries for your life. 12:22 And so I used those as guidelines for my life 12:25 and I did like that. 12:27 I did just trust in God 12:29 and I said, there came to a point, 12:30 I said, "Lord, I think I'm ready. 12:34 I'm ready to date, if that's what you want for me, 12:37 but if it's not, that's fine. 12:38 You'll have to choose the person 12:40 because I'm a bad picker. 12:42 I'm just not good at it. I'm a bad picker." 12:45 And so I said, "You'll have to pick the person for me." 12:48 And I went to work 12:50 and two days later Mark asked me out 12:53 and he's my gift, he's my gift from God. 12:56 He's my husband, great Christian man, 12:59 a wonderful man, a loving man who adores me, worth in all. 13:04 He knows my life, he knows my past, 13:06 he knows my history, and he is okay with it. 13:10 That's wonderful. Yeah. 13:11 But now when you all, you had actually known each other 13:14 for quite some time because you worked together, 13:16 but what was your first impression of Mark? 13:20 We didn't like each other at all. 13:24 I had overheard a conversation that he was having 13:26 and I think people need to be really careful 13:29 and I can't stress that enough. 13:31 You need to be very careful when you jump in 13:33 on somebody's conversation 13:34 that you don't make a judgment call. 13:37 And that's exactly what I did, I made a judgment call 13:39 on what he was trying to say 13:40 and didn't hear the whole conversation. 13:42 And I made a flippant remark and punched in 13:45 and quickly walked out of the break room 13:47 and went back to work and so he thought, 13:50 and which I didn't even know he thought 13:51 until we started dating. 13:53 He said, when I heard you say that, I thought, 13:56 "Man she's opinionated. 13:57 I don't want to have anything to do with her." 13:59 And I said, "Well, that was good 14:00 because I felt this way 14:02 and I stayed away from you too." 14:04 But God had a plan, you know, 14:05 He had a different plan for us. 14:07 And my husband Mark said, 14:11 "When God first asked him to ask me out, told him, 14:14 "I want you to ask her out." 14:16 Because he was praying for someone too. 14:17 He had been recently divorced 14:18 and he was praying for someone, 14:20 I had been divorced for couple of years by then. 14:22 I said... 14:24 He said that he told God, "Oh, Lord, not her. 14:28 Please not her." 14:30 That's so funny, he knew. 14:31 And so he didn't ask me out, 14:33 and so it took him a couple of months, 14:35 and then when he finally came in to ask me out, 14:38 he said, Bye Marie, 14:41 and it was getting to be near Sabbath 14:43 and I always finished everything by four on Friday. 14:45 I was the HR representative for our church, 14:47 and I did the hiring 14:49 and the interviewing and everything, 14:50 and so I was getting everything wrapped up. 14:52 And he says, "Good night, Marie, have a good weekend." 14:54 And I said, "Oh, have a good weekend, Mark." 14:56 And I was working on the computer 14:57 and he says, "Well, what about dinner?" 15:01 And I turned around and looked at him 15:03 and his face was twitching 15:05 and I said, "Well, have a good dinner too." 15:09 And I just turned back around 15:10 and started working on the computer thinking of 15:12 what I needed to do. 15:14 And he says, "Your blonde roots are showing." 15:17 And I said, "Huh?" Just like that, I just turned. 15:20 He loves that part, he tells that story, 15:22 he says and she did, "Huh?" 15:23 You know, and I did, I went "Huh." 15:25 And he goes, "Your blonde roots are showing. 15:27 What about dinner?" And I said, "Oh, like a date?" 15:30 Like me, I haven't dated for 20 years, you know. 15:32 Yes. 15:34 I was like, "Me you a date tonight?" 15:35 And he's like, "No what about tomorrow." 15:38 And all the books that I had read ran through my mind. 15:41 Well, you don't give him your address, 15:43 you don't give him your phone number, 15:44 you meet him in a neutral place, 15:45 blah, blah, blah... 15:47 And I said, "Okay." 15:48 And he still stood there and I wouldn't look at him 15:52 and he says, "Don't you think 15:53 you ought to give me your phone number?" 15:56 And I'm thinking, "Marie, don't be ridiculous, 15:58 you've worked with this man for eight years. 16:01 The Lord brought him to you for some reason 16:04 maybe just to teach you something 16:05 but for some reason don't be ridiculous." 16:08 And I said, "Why don't we just meet here," 16:10 And he goes, "No, typically I pick you up at your house 16:12 and I drop you off at your house 16:14 and shame on the men 16:16 that didn't treat you better than that." 16:17 And immediately I felt really, you know. 16:21 So I gave him my phone number 16:23 and we've been together ever since. 16:26 You know, the Lord has just worked 16:27 such a wonderful, wonderful relationship 16:30 out of this traumatic beginning. 16:34 So I just gonna add a little something 16:36 because you and I had, there are so many parallels 16:38 but, you know, we don't always know. 16:40 I remember when I was dating my husband, 16:42 we broke up six months into it and I told my mother, 16:45 "He'd be the last person on earth that I would marry." 16:49 And then a couple of years later, 16:51 we became business partners. 16:53 And I remember when one day he said to me, 16:56 "I've been driving down the road trying to figure out 16:58 why I should marry you." 17:01 And I'm thinking, "Marrying me? 17:03 You know, I can think of a reason 17:04 why we've never talked about it. 17:06 We weren't even dating." 17:07 And I remember praying, I had to go to New York on business 17:11 and we just can't impress enough, 17:14 how important it is to pray about this 17:16 because this is not someone 17:19 who I probably would have chosen, 17:21 and I really wasn't, but when I went 17:24 and I was praying about it, 17:26 the Lord really impressed upon me, this was the one. 17:30 The one I said I would never marry was the one. 17:33 And, you know, God knows best. 17:36 One thing I did from the time I was 13 years old 17:40 and I'm just gonna talk, we've got some young ladies 17:43 on camera today that I prayed sincerely, 17:48 earnestly to the Lord, 17:49 "Please don't let me marry anyone 17:52 over whom I would lose my soul." 17:55 I babysat for a lady from our church 17:57 whose husband, she married an agnostic. 18:00 Then he became atheist 18:02 and he wouldn't let her go to church. 18:03 And I could remember, you know, 18:06 I was pretty precocious as a child, 18:08 but I can remember talking with her and saying, 18:10 "You mean, you'd lose your soul over a man." 18:13 But what happened I went... 18:18 Here I'm praying about this and there were times 18:22 that I was engaged before JD, 18:25 and I would get close to the wedding date, 18:27 and all of a sudden just be like God would just go. 18:31 And it's pulled me up short and I would, 18:33 and I have to say, "Whoops! 18:34 Wait, we can't do this unless God's going to be 18:36 the foundation of our marriage." 18:38 But God knew best who I needed. 18:42 We're so perfectly suited and I look back on the people 18:44 that I would have chosen and think, "Thank you Jesus 18:48 that I didn't marry them." 18:49 I cannot agree with you more, I cannot... 18:51 I'm listening to you thinking, oh, my goodness 18:53 because I started praying that way 18:55 after I met Mark, 18:57 because I always jumped into something 19:00 and married for the wrong reason. 19:01 So I had told God, "I'm not going to marry him 19:05 if you to the moment that we walk down that aisle, 19:08 if you tell me not to marry him, I will not." 19:11 And I said that all the way up to the time 19:13 that we got married 19:15 and I said, "God, I am not going to dishonor you, 19:17 I'm not going to bring this shame on myself 19:20 and on you. 19:22 I am going to follow you if this is the man..." 19:24 Even all the way up we dated for a year, 19:26 I tried to break up with him because my natural self said, 19:30 oh, it's easier to break up with him now 19:33 than to let him hurt you like everyone else did. 19:35 You go into your comfort zone again 19:36 and he'd say to me, "Marie, we get along so well, 19:39 we pray together, 19:41 we talk about the Lord together, 19:42 we believe the same, he wasn't even an Adventist, 19:44 knew about the Sabbath, 19:46 knew about the state of the dead, 19:47 knew about how we..." 19:48 And I said, "How do you know these things?" 19:50 He says, "I have a Bible." 19:52 And so the Lord brought us together 19:54 so we could learn from each other 19:55 so we could glean. 19:57 He has strengthened my faith in his strengths, 20:00 and I have strengthened his faith 20:02 and my strengths and together we are not... 20:05 We glorify God better together as a team. 20:08 People will always say, 20:10 "I want a marriage like you guys." 20:11 I'm like, "What is that?" 20:13 You know, I had a horrible past and I had a horrible marriage, 20:16 but God has blessed me beyond everything 20:19 that I could have picked for myself 20:20 and he would not have been the person I would have picked. 20:22 He's completely opposite of me 20:24 and he's completely opposite of the things 20:26 I would have picked in the past, 20:27 but God does know that, Shelley. 20:29 You know, and I just want to point out one other thing here 20:32 because just because God has selected a mate, 20:36 don't think that it's all going to be roses in the beginning 20:39 because I remember that our first year was 20:42 rather difficult actually. 20:44 And I think Satan does everything he can 20:47 to try to break up the family unit 20:49 because if you think about it, the family unit, 20:52 that family is the smallest unit 20:53 of the church. 20:55 And if you can ruin the family, you'll ruin the church. 20:58 So Satan is after the family, but in choosing a mate, 21:04 if you're looking for someone who is of like faith, 21:07 shares the same values. 21:10 You know, of course, you know, 21:11 I think personally physical attractiveness is 21:13 something that's important to me, 21:15 to many men. 21:16 But I think it's something that as you go through here, 21:19 you know, that you share 21:22 or at least come to agreement on hobbies, finances, 21:27 and I just want to highly recommend, 21:30 not that I've done it, I don't know if you did it, 21:31 but I really highly recommend, 21:33 if you're a young person watching, 21:35 please before you get married, go through counseling. 21:39 Premarital counseling is critical 21:42 because often when we say, we're in love with someone 21:44 when you just think, "Oh, I can't live without them, 21:47 make my heartbeat patter." 21:49 And what it is, is it a physical attraction 21:51 and sometimes in counseling you'll find things out 21:54 that you'll sit and suddenly say. 21:56 And I know because my husband and I do a lot of counseling. 21:59 We've never had counseling our self. 22:01 But we've seen people who just sit up, 22:04 I mean, suddenly they're paying attention 22:06 and thinking, 22:07 could I live with this the rest of my life. 22:09 You know, I haven't had counseling either, 22:11 but the books that I've read gave such good, good advice 22:14 that I talk to youth, and I talk to young people, 22:17 I talk to my friend who just recently got married. 22:19 And I said to her, "I got the best advice 22:23 through this book and through the Bible." 22:25 Of course, the Bible is first, 22:27 and going to God is always the best thing. 22:30 Always go to God first. 22:32 And what I would tell them is there is always red flags. 22:36 You can date the rest of your life, 22:39 but you want a soul mate. 22:41 If you want a soul mate, consider God in all things. 22:44 And if you want to date the rest of your life, 22:46 then you can go through different people all the time, 22:49 but if you want a soul mate, take your guidelines 22:52 and your desires for a mate from the Bible 22:56 and write down what's important to you, 22:58 those 10 things that are important to you. 23:01 And if there's three red flags, 23:03 be done dating them, you're done. 23:05 It's not going to be a good marriage. 23:07 If there's two red flags, this book particularly said, 23:11 "If there's two bad flags be done." 23:14 Say, "You know, I had a great time, 23:15 you're a wonderful person, 23:17 it's just not going to work for us." 23:18 Why prolong the inevitable, 23:21 you know, and then if there is one thing 23:23 and it's not on the top of your list, 23:27 then you might be able to work it through. 23:29 But more than one red flag, this is what they're saying, 23:32 more than one red flag, 23:33 you're just headed for disaster, 23:35 and especially if it's a biblical principle. 23:37 Oh, absolutely. 23:38 Especially, if you cannot 23:39 come to an agreement biblically, 23:42 you don't need to be married. 23:43 What were some of the things, 23:45 you mentioned this list of 10 things and red flags, 23:48 if there are several on here, even two, 23:52 that didn't drive with your list. 23:55 What were some of the things that were on your list? 23:58 Well, I prayed about it and I went with God, 24:01 I didn't want to just make a list. 24:04 So I said, "God, what are the most important things 24:06 that I need in a man?" 24:08 And one was a sense of humor, honesty, a faith in God. 24:14 Being a Christian was huge, 24:17 you know, that was my number one thing. 24:19 They couldn't drink or smoke, 24:22 and they had to be stable, 24:27 they had to have their own stability, 24:29 they didn't need to..." 24:30 I tended to make more money than the men that I married 24:34 at different levels of life or whatever. 24:37 And I didn't ever feel like 24:39 I really needed a man financially, 24:40 but I wanted them to have their own stability, 24:45 you know, I wanted them to have their own stability, 24:47 and I can't remember the other two or three 24:50 but those were the huge ones for me. 24:52 But it's interesting to me that you prayed to ask God, 24:56 I mean, there's some of those that almost everyone would say, 24:58 "Yeah, I don't want someone 25:00 who's drinking or who's on drugs or this." 25:03 But it's interesting because I too agree. 25:05 I was engaged to someone once 25:07 that it wasn't till I saw him with his family, 25:10 we'd been engaged six months 25:11 before I actually met his family, 25:13 they'd been overseas. 25:15 And when I saw him around his family, 25:18 he had a very slapstick sense of humor 25:20 and he certainly, it was repulsive to me 25:24 and I didn't, I found out 25:26 I wasn't really in love with him 25:27 I think as much as I was in love 25:29 with the idea of being in love. 25:31 Yeah. You know what I'm saying? 25:33 So it's important that you do even seek God in that, 25:38 what do I need, Lord, 25:40 You know me better than I know me. 25:41 That's right. 25:43 What do I need in a man or a spouse? 25:46 And that was important to me. 25:47 It was important to me that God helped me know 25:50 what I needed to grow, not just all the choices 25:54 that I made in the past, I didn't have a list, 25:55 I didn't have any real, 25:57 "Oh, well, if they're Christian, 25:58 you know, everything will be fine, 25:59 or if he loves me." 26:01 Well, that's a myth, you know, 26:03 for all the young people watching, 26:04 that's a myth. 26:05 If he loves me, he will. 26:07 You know, love has been used so loosely 26:09 to say the least in this world, in the society. 26:12 So a man can say that he loves you 26:14 or a woman can say that they love you. 26:16 But if they don't have the same common values, 26:19 and the same principles, and those things on that list, 26:24 if they don't have those, you're going to be missing out 26:27 on a complete package that God wants you to have. 26:29 And it sounds very simple 26:32 when it's just the two of you think 26:33 you might overcome up as soon as you have children 26:35 put into the picture that the whole equation changes, 26:39 and it can be a mistake that affects the rest of your life. 26:42 Well, I think that our viewers have seen how important it is 26:48 just from your personal example, 26:49 how important it is to seek God's will 26:52 for your spouse. 26:54 Seek the Lord, ask Him who you should marry. 26:57 Let Him guide and direct you. 26:59 And we were saying earlier, we'd rather, 27:02 both of us would rather be single an additional 10 years 27:05 than to marry the wrong person. 27:07 Mary Fischer, thank you so much for joining us today. 27:10 You know, we hope that you'll come back. 27:12 We want to talk to you about raising stepchildren, 27:15 10 children, that's a lot of kids. 27:18 Blessings. Blessing. 27:21 Quiverful. Yes. 27:23 Well, for those of you at home, 27:24 I hope that this program is making you think about things, 27:28 and some of you may have been married for many, many years, 27:31 you were just sitting her saying amen 27:33 to what we're doing. 27:35 But there's others who have maybe grandchildren or children 27:37 who need to be reminded about this topic how critical it is. 27:41 Our prayer is that the grace of our Lord and Savior, 27:44 Jesus Christ, the love of the Father 27:46 and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit 27:47 will be with you always. 27:49 Thank you. |
Revised 2017-09-11