Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Nicole Parker
Series Code: IAA
Program Code: IAA000448A
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00:29 Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn
00:31 and we welcome you again to Issues and Answers. 00:34 We're so glad that you're joining us 00:35 whether you're watching by television, 00:37 or the internet, or listening on the radio. 00:40 This is a program. 00:41 It's a popular program 00:42 because we talk about issues that are pertinent 00:44 to our culture today, to our personal lives 00:47 but we give biblical answers how to overcome those issues. 00:52 And today we have returning with us 00:54 and we're very thrilled to have her again, 00:56 Nicole Parker, 00:58 who has a master's degree in biblical counseling. 01:02 And she has shared her own personal testimony 01:05 of how she was sexually abused as a child 01:08 and how the Lord led her through a healing journey, 01:11 and then gave her the uncommon wisdom 01:13 to share His comfort 01:16 and healing process with others. 01:18 But, you know, sometimes when someone 01:20 has been sexually abused, 01:23 any kind of abuse can lead to addiction, 01:26 and specifically sexual abuse 01:28 will often lead to sexual addiction, 01:31 and today we have Nicole here to talk to us 01:35 about the process of overcoming sexual addiction. 01:40 Nicole, once again we're thrilled to have you back. 01:43 Thank you so much for being here. 01:45 Now let's just jump right into this. 01:49 You have shared some things 01:52 that have really touched many hearts already 01:55 but when we're talking about the sexual addiction, 01:59 let's describe what it is and what are the root issues? 02:04 Right. 02:05 You know, sexual abuse is rampant in our culture 02:09 but so is sexual addiction and often they're linked. 02:12 The key thing is, all of us, 02:15 if we struggle with any kind of abuse, 02:16 it doesn't have to be sexual, 02:18 anything that wrecks my picture of the character of God, 02:22 is going to send me into looking for others 02:25 that I can worship instead of God. 02:27 If God does not seem lovable, 02:29 and that's what abuse does to us, 02:30 it makes us go, 02:32 "If God were love, why did He allow this?" 02:34 Or we just see Him as a lot like 02:35 this abusive parent, or teacher, or pastor. 02:39 But people, you know, 02:40 you used an interesting word there 02:41 because I think some of our viewers 02:43 are not going to understand what you just said. 02:44 You said that when our picture of God is pitiful, 02:49 when we don't know who He is 02:51 that we look for someone else to worship, 02:53 people I don't think 02:54 that I'm going out to worship alcohol 02:56 I'm going out to worship. 02:57 So explain what you mean by this word worship. 03:01 Nobody says 03:02 I think I'm just going to worship something else. 03:04 We try to worship God 03:06 but if our picture of God is skewed, 03:08 we want to find someone or something 03:11 that will satisfy the cravings of our souls. 03:13 So that's worship is when we put, 03:16 the work that we put on something else to satisfy us. 03:20 God has created us as worshippers. 03:22 We long for two things, for love and for value. 03:27 Every human being longs for love and for value 03:30 and whatever we find our sense of being loved in, 03:33 our sense of being worth in, whatever that thing is 03:35 we'll wrap our identity around it 03:38 and we will worship it. 03:39 We can't help it, we're created worshippers. 03:42 So we will either worship God 03:45 or we will worship someone or something else 03:47 and whatever that is 03:48 it will really be self-disguised 03:50 those who think that they worship their spouse. 03:54 For example, nobody thinks that they really worship them, 03:56 but they think I just love this person. 03:58 I need this person. 04:00 No, 04:01 what you love is the feeling you get from this person 04:04 and when you lose that feeling 04:07 you may be happy to go find someone else. 04:09 I see what you're saying. 04:11 And it may be a twisted form, 04:12 you know, those who stay in abusive relationships 04:14 and people say, "Why are you staying with him." 04:17 Well, often it's because we get our sense of worth 04:19 from being who we wish God had been for us. 04:24 If only God had been there for me, 04:26 I would have been happy 04:28 and, therefore, 04:30 I'm going to be what I wish God had been. 04:32 We always either try to make someone else 04:34 into what we wish God had been 04:36 or we try to be what we wish God had been 04:38 and that's the root of addiction. 04:40 Okay. 04:41 So what is sexual addiction? 04:45 What does that term mean? 04:47 You know, we live in a culture 04:49 of sexual brokenness and sexual obsessiveness, 04:52 and pretty much anything that you want these days, 04:55 our culture will tell us you can get this from sex. 04:58 So you if you long for power, then our culture says get sex. 05:04 If you long for intimacy, our culture says get sex. 05:08 If you long for value, if you long to be beautiful, 05:12 to be anything that you want 05:15 our culture can try to convince you 05:17 you can get it through sex. 05:19 Sex goes to the very deepest core of who we are 05:22 because God created us male and female. 05:25 He created us sexual beings 05:26 and we see now that sex sells as well 05:30 this is something that we have become obsessive 05:34 compulsive about sex in our society. 05:37 We have, sexual abuse is one significant factor in this 05:40 and I believe we have no idea of the magnitude 05:43 of how many people are sexually abused these days. 05:46 Even within the church. 05:47 Even within the church 05:48 but for those who even those who are not sexually abused 05:51 sexual addiction is always luring 05:54 because it appeals to the deepest part of who we are, 05:56 we crave love and worth. 05:59 And our culture says, 06:01 "You want 'em, you'll get them here." 06:02 But what do you mean specifically 06:04 by sexual addiction? 06:06 I mean a preoccupation with sexual things. 06:09 Research shows us that the majority of people 06:12 a majority of men nowadays are addicted to pornography 06:16 and they may say 06:17 well not as many women are addicted to pornography 06:19 so sexual addiction is a male problem. 06:21 I don't believe so personally 06:23 because I see it in so many people 06:25 who come to talk to me 06:26 women may not be reading or watching pornographic things 06:31 but they often are listening to music, 06:34 fantasizing dealing with novels, 06:39 or pornographic movies 06:41 or just movies that are all about romance. 06:43 Whatever is happening, 06:44 it's still a preoccupation with sex 06:47 in the sense that if I am craving something, 06:51 sex will give it to me. 06:53 So you... 06:55 I've heard you use before the illustration of a dandelion 07:01 talk to us about that. 07:02 Yes, you know, many people, 07:04 if you Google how to overcome sexual addiction, 07:07 you'll find a lot of different tools, 07:09 good tools, useful steps that can help a person 07:13 but often we don't get to the root issues. 07:17 The root issues are what go deep into our hearts 07:21 these issues of love and worth. 07:23 If I can't find my sense of love and worth in Christ, 07:27 I'm going to find them in something else 07:30 and that's going to, you know, 07:32 have its power for a little while 07:34 maybe it'll be alcohol for a while 07:35 and then I realize this is bad I kick the habit. 07:38 Next, I'll be smoking 07:39 or it'll be a codependent relationship 07:42 which is just another word for idolatrous. 07:45 Whatever it is that I go to 07:46 movies, music, TV, internet, food, 07:50 they're all really the same thing. 07:52 I'm worshiping something 07:54 that gives me either a sense of love and worth 07:57 or an escape from my longing for them. 07:59 And sexual addiction, 08:01 would it be correct to say that sexual addiction 08:04 sometimes is just pure peer pressure 08:06 because I'm thinking of young people 08:09 who begin sleeping around 08:10 and having multiple sexual partners, 08:13 and it's as a result of just what they think 08:17 society is expecting of them 08:19 and they don't have a sense of worth with the Lord. 08:22 That's right. 08:23 It's very often that's how it starts out. 08:25 They're living in a culture 08:27 where virginity is something to be gotten rid of 08:30 and it's a sign of how valuable you are 08:33 if you're desirable to many people. 08:36 And the Gospel goes to do exactly the opposite 08:38 it says you are so valuable to God 08:41 that He wants you to be able to have an exclusive relationship 08:44 first with Him 08:45 and then find deep beautiful satisfying intimacy 08:48 with your opposite sex partner 08:50 if that's where He leads us into marriage. 08:53 May I ask you a very personal question? 08:55 Sure. 08:56 You suffered sexual abuse 08:59 which gave you panic attacks, anxiety, depression, 09:03 and you lost your sense of worth if you will. 09:07 Gave you a crazy picture of who God is 09:10 but my question is this: 09:14 Can someone, was it difficult for you 09:17 sometimes people think that Christians are against sex. 09:20 We're not. 09:22 No, not at all. 09:23 And God certainly isn't against sex 09:26 and if you have any doubt about that 09:28 I just challenge you to read the Song of Solomon 09:32 because God created us as sexual beings 09:35 He created sex something that is to be greatly enjoyed 09:40 but it is to be greatly enjoyed between a man and a woman 09:44 in a marriage relationship, 09:46 and sex part of that was to me the beauty of it is that, 09:51 you know, it's almost like God is inviting us to become... 09:56 To enter into the creation process with Him 09:58 because we procreate through sex 10:01 and it is a beautiful thing. 10:04 Often, what people, 10:05 I feel sorry for the people in the world 10:08 because in the secular world, sex is not always, 10:12 well, often, is not an act of intimacy or intimate love 10:16 it is just purely scratching an itch. 10:20 I'm just going to say it that way, 10:22 but here for you coming out of sexual abuse 10:27 how long did it take you, I mean you're married, 10:32 what did God do to heal you of the abuse 10:36 to where you could enjoy 10:39 a true intimate relationship with your husband? 10:42 You know, like most people that are sexually abused, 10:46 I had an unhealthy interest in sex 10:48 you could say I was obsessed with it 10:50 as a as a young child and a teenager 10:52 I was continually consumed with it. 10:54 And yet, I was terrified of it at the same time 10:57 I thought I could never have this with a person 11:01 and certainly not with a man. 11:03 I was so terrified of men 11:06 but the Lord led me through a process of healing 11:09 and then when he brought my husband into my life 11:12 as just a man that I knew and started saying, 11:14 "Nicole, this is a man you can trust. 11:16 This is a man who's very much like me." 11:18 It was a real battle for me to believe 11:21 that God could heal me so much 11:22 that I could go into this situation, you know, 11:24 what if I have to marry this man, Lord? 11:27 How can I live in intimacy with him? 11:29 And it was so beautiful 11:32 how the Lord spoke to me through my husband. 11:34 You know, eventually my husband told me you know what? 11:36 Neither of us knows how is it how it's going to go. 11:39 I had never had sex with anyone voluntarily 11:42 other than being abused as a very small child, 11:45 I didn't know what it was going to be like. 11:47 But my husband said, 11:48 "You know, even if we can't have sex 11:49 the whole first year of our marriage, 11:52 I just want to be with you, you are my best friend. 11:55 I love you." 11:56 And you know in that context of safety and intimacy 12:00 knowing here is a man who loves me, values me, 12:04 I saw Jesus in him, 12:06 and it gave me the freedom to say, 12:07 "Now I want to marry this man." 12:09 How precious. 12:11 And, you know, praise God it's never been an issue 12:13 in our marital life 12:14 from the honeymoon onward it's been beautiful. 12:17 What the devil told me that I could never have 12:19 a happy, healthy, beautiful sex life 12:21 where I could see the character of God revealed 12:23 was a complete lie. 12:25 It's a beautiful area where I see God's love 12:28 in ways I never could have understood otherwise. 12:31 Okay. 12:32 Now, I kind of threw you off there 12:33 because that question was just burning me... 12:35 No, but it's so important 12:37 because if we if we're sexually addicted 12:40 it's because we have a wrong picture 12:41 of the character of God 12:43 and it's revealed in our picture of sex, of intimacy, 12:45 God ordained intimacy. 12:47 So to have a true picture we have to understand 12:49 God ordained a beautiful kind of sexuality, 12:53 a beautiful expression of who we are as sexual beings 12:57 within a committed relationship between a man and a woman 13:00 where we understand the character of God 13:02 and the way that he interacts with his church, 13:05 the vulnerability, 13:06 that being naked and not ashamed together. 13:08 Yes. 13:10 There's nothing that's more healing to sexual addiction, 13:12 the unhealthy preoccupation with sex, 13:14 than seeing sex the way that God sees it. 13:16 It's a beautiful, holy, wonderful taste of heaven. 13:22 Absolutely. 13:23 Now let's get back to our dandelion. 13:27 Let's talk about the roots of the problems. 13:31 Many people already know 13:32 many of the crucial steps to overcoming sexual addiction. 13:36 We need to get deep into the Word of God, 13:38 find the promises of God 13:40 that apply to our particular struggles 13:42 and let them sink into our lives 13:45 like water in the ground. 13:47 We need prayer we need to commune with God. 13:49 Very few people in the world today pray 13:51 even those who claim to be Christian 13:53 very few pray 5, 10 minutes a day in our culture. 13:57 We're so self-consumed and obsessed with media, 14:00 and entertainment, and relaxing. 14:01 Or even, it doesn't have to be that, 14:04 you can be consumed with ministry. 14:06 I've met pastors 14:07 who don't pray more than 5 or 10 minutes a day 14:09 because they're just so called upon 14:12 and it's a struggle in our own lives. 14:15 The devil loves to get us consumed with good things 14:17 to keep us from the best things. 14:19 Absolutely. 14:20 So we need Bible study, transformative Bible study 14:23 not just a quick reading of a chapter a day or whatever. 14:25 So what is a transformative Bible study? 14:27 Transformative Bible study is where we really sink our roots 14:31 deep into how much God loves us 14:33 and how much we're worth in his sight. 14:35 Throughout Scripture we have two great themes, 14:37 Creation and Recreation. 14:39 He created us in his image 14:40 and he recreates us day by day as we surrender to him. 14:44 Those two themes need to be our meditation 14:46 and an understanding of how much he loves us. 14:48 Practically, for me 14:50 because I know that sounds kind of theoretical. 14:52 I needed to know that God saw it was beautiful 14:55 that he said you are a treasure in my sight. 14:59 You don't need other people to think you're wonderful, 15:02 for me to think you're wonderful, 15:04 and as long as you're turning to other people 15:06 for your sense of love and worth, 15:07 you're always going to come up thirsty. 15:09 All of us, we have an innate sense, 15:11 no matter how much these people like me, 15:13 they don't see the depths of me. 15:16 If they saw the depths of me, would they love me then? 15:19 God is the only one 15:21 who can satisfy that depths of me 15:23 longing for love 15:24 because He is the only one who sees us completely. 15:27 And when I know thou God seest me, 15:29 you are my Creator 15:31 from the moment that you created me, 15:33 you loved me with an everlasting love. 15:35 That means that there's nothing within me 15:37 that can add to my worth by achievement, 15:41 and there's nothing I can do 15:43 that can take away from my worth in God's eyes. 15:47 Nothing that I can do can add or subtract, 15:50 I am priceless in his sight 15:52 this is what our devotional time 15:53 should be focused on every day. 15:55 We need time with God 15:57 that satisfies us at our deepest level 15:59 we can figure out what our deepest level longings are 16:01 by, what are the lies the devil tells me? 16:03 When I'm down 16:04 what are the things he brings to my mind? 16:06 Is it I just want to escape to this movie 16:08 I just want to find somebody, 16:10 you know, do we open our cell phone, 16:11 our refrigerator, or the Bible. 16:13 That's good. That's good. 16:15 But, you know, some of these things 16:17 that we're talking about, 16:18 I mean we know that we need to do these things 16:20 and quite often if you look on the internet, 16:23 as you said earlier, there's good steps, 16:25 but your description of the dandelion. 16:30 I like what you say 16:31 because you've got to get to the root 16:33 and I don't know that we actually got that far. 16:35 The root issues are always issues of worship. 16:40 If I cannot believe that God is love, 16:42 that he loves me deeply to the depths of who I am, 16:45 I'm going to crave someone or something 16:48 that will make me feel deeply loved, 16:49 and our culture very commonly redirects us to sex 16:53 as the solution to this. 16:54 For women, 16:56 they often feel so isolated from others 16:59 when they are dealing with sexual addiction, 17:01 something like masturbation or pornography. 17:04 When a man comes to me 17:05 and talks to me about his issues 17:07 and of course, I'm very careful about counseling with the man 17:09 but if I have some, you know, the man comes to me, 17:11 he's got his wife there 17:13 or we're in a context with my husband there 17:14 or something like that, 17:16 when we talk about his sexual addiction issues, 17:18 typically they will be sort of, 17:20 "Well, I've been struggling with that 17:21 but I'm getting better, I'm doing better right now." 17:24 Men, kind of, have often this sense of, 17:26 "Well, you know, we all struggle with it. 17:28 It's a guy thing." 17:30 And if they just stop doing it, 17:32 it's kind of like somebody 17:33 who is just taking the dandelion 17:38 and pulling off the leaves and blowing on it. 17:39 They're not getting to the root issue 17:41 is what you're saying. Right. 17:43 C.S. Lewis gives a wonderful description 17:45 in his description of the Lizard of Lust 17:48 how there's this lizard on his shoulder 17:50 and when he starts saying, 17:52 "I've got to get rid of it. I've got to get rid of it." 17:54 Then the Lizard of lust starts going, 17:56 "No, you don't need to, it's okay. 17:57 It's okay. I'll go to sleep. 17:59 I promise I'm not going to cause anymore problems." 18:01 But it's when we really tackle it 18:03 and break its back 18:05 that we can finally be freed 18:07 to serve God with all of our hearts. 18:09 And it's when a man starts going, 18:11 "Well, I need to get rid of this 18:13 or at least I need to start doing better." 18:14 Well, now it's getting to be several weeks 18:16 in between my episodes or several months. 18:19 They may feel like, 18:20 "See, I don't really have to give it to God, 18:21 I don't really have to give my lust. 18:23 The problem is sexual abuse or even just our culture, 18:26 weaves together, 18:28 sex which is a beautiful holy pure gift of God, 18:31 with lust, which is an evil, horrible influence, 18:34 and shame 18:35 which wants to isolate us from others. 18:38 Sex and lust and shame are just braided together in our minds 18:42 and it's almost like, you know, sometimes I bake challah bread, 18:45 you weave braid these three strips of dough 18:49 but then they arise and then you bake them. 18:52 And what seemed like they could be easily entangled 18:54 is now all of a sudden one mass in our minds. 18:57 Sex and lust and shame and a man feels like, 18:59 "Well, if I give up my lust, 19:01 I have to give up my masculinity." 19:04 And for a woman they often feel the opposite 19:06 they feel so ashamed, so intensely bad 19:10 they're like, "I'm the only woman." 19:11 Over and over I've had women tell me 19:13 I just feel like this is a man problem. 19:15 I can't believe that I am the one 19:17 who's watching pornography, 19:19 I am the one who is dealing with fantasy and masturbation. 19:22 These issues that no one wants to talk about 19:26 but that men and women alike are battling. 19:28 I would say probably 80% of us are struggling, you know. 19:32 When you go to a church, 19:34 80% of the people are dealing 19:35 with a sexual addiction of some kind, 19:37 preoccupation with romantic, or sexualized themes, 19:42 or movies, or music, or books or anything 19:45 all of these things are traced back to the fact 19:48 that we want to get our sense of love and worth 19:50 from somewhere else. 19:51 So that in order to get rid of the dandelion, 19:54 I have to stop just picking off the flowers and the leaves. 19:58 So what happens when a person wants to actually tackle 20:01 the lust issue in their lives 20:03 is we have to take a Biblical approach. 20:06 There's nothing evil 20:08 about picking off the leaves and the flowers, you know. 20:10 Get rid of those flowers on your dandelions, 20:12 by all means 20:14 and that's kind of dealing with the behaviors. 20:16 So it's very important to get accountability partners. 20:19 We set limits for ourselves, 20:20 you know, I'm not going to be on the computer after nine 20:22 because I know that's when I start drifting, 20:24 or I'm going to set a covenant eyes 20:28 or some kind of software on my computer 20:30 so that my accountability partner 20:31 can see what I'm actually accessing. 20:33 Is it called Covenant eyes? Covenant eyes. 20:35 Coming from, of course, Job, 20:36 "I made a covenant with my eyes." 20:38 But that's the name of the software program. 20:39 Yes, for a small fee every month 20:42 you can have covenant eyes monitoring your internet access 20:45 so that your partner 20:46 or whoever it is that's holding you accountable 20:49 gets a report of everything that you're accessing 20:52 and there they are notified if you start doing something. 20:54 Those who are really serious about overcoming, 20:57 they'll often take these steps. 20:58 They'll get rid of the behaviors, 21:00 they'll start pulling off the flowers and the leaves. 21:03 But God wants to go deeper, 21:04 he wants to go into the issues of worship 21:06 because the issue was never that we were behaving badly. 21:09 The issue is that he wants our hearts 21:11 he wants us to know deeply 21:13 in ways we haven't ever understood before 21:15 how much he loves us, 21:17 how much we're worth in his sight. 21:19 And it's just like that 21:20 when we allow him 21:22 to go into the deeper areas of our hearts 21:24 when we allow him to dig in 21:26 and get the root out 21:28 then that dandelion withers. 21:30 It doesn't produce any more flowers, 21:32 any more of leaves, 21:34 the behaviors will wither up. 21:36 When we give ourselves deeply to God 21:38 and allow him to keep our hearts. 21:41 And God can keep our heart as we get involved 21:44 as you said in transformative Bible study, 21:46 when we're praying, claiming the promises of God, 21:49 exercising self-discipline 21:51 by putting this strict boundaries around us, 21:53 and having accountability partners 21:56 all of those things, 21:57 but how does someone 21:59 who's watching out there right now? 22:02 Nicole, how does someone 22:03 who is going through the shame of it all, 22:08 you know, if they know they've had a sexual addiction 22:10 and they are trying to come out of this, 22:14 maybe they've wounded somebody very deeply 22:16 because of their sexual addiction. 22:19 How does someone overcome the shame of it all? 22:23 You know I find consistently any time I counsel with someone 22:27 who's struggling with sexual addiction, 22:29 there's a very strong cycle 22:31 of a specific kind of unbelief and pride that creeps in. 22:36 What happens is, you know, 22:38 as we've talked about in a different program, 22:41 shame and guilt are two different things, 22:43 both of them feel like conviction for sin 22:46 they feel like dirtiness they feel like defilement 22:49 but they're actually very different. 22:50 Guilt is a message from God that gives us hope, 22:53 it says, "There's something that's come between you and me. 22:57 Let me take it off of you. 22:58 Let me set you free, 23:00 let me cover you with my robe of righteousness 23:02 with my blood 23:03 I've already died for this sin. 23:04 Let me have it 23:06 and then you and I can be close again 23:07 that's guilt 23:08 guilt is good it brings us to our knees 23:11 it drives us to the cross. 23:14 I guess you're saying it's like the conviction of sin. 23:17 Guilt is a valid conviction that I have sinned. 23:20 Okay. 23:22 So when we have guilt it brings us to pray, 23:26 to repent, to confess 23:28 and then when we stand up from our knees, 23:30 we are to walk in newness of life 23:32 praising God, 23:33 "Wow, you have set me free, thank you so much." 23:37 But this is where shame comes in. 23:39 Shame is a message from the devil 23:40 that basically says 23:42 the Blood of Jesus isn't enough to cleanse you. 23:44 So when you go to your knees with that sense of defilement, 23:47 that's guilt. 23:48 When you stand up from your knees 23:49 having repented and confessed and you still feel defiled, 23:52 that's shame, 23:53 that's a message from the devil saying, 23:55 "You're hopeless, 23:57 you can't be cleansed by the Blood of Jesus. 24:00 What you've done is too bad." 24:01 So that unbelief, 24:03 that doubt about what God says in His word about himself 24:06 that he's already covered it, that he loves us, 24:08 that he will transform us, 24:11 that is now followed up by shame. 24:15 Shame says, "You can't be cleansed." 24:19 But the good news is, 24:21 and here's pride coming in 24:23 your blood will be enough 24:24 to supplement the blood of Jesus. 24:26 Oh, whoa, I'm sitting here and smiling 24:28 because I thought you might tell me some good news 24:30 but you're saying this is what shame will do to you, 24:32 what the devil's message is. 24:34 Shame will tell you. 24:35 The good news is, 24:37 you can supplement with your own work. 24:40 So the devil will tell you 24:41 if you can just atone for your bad deeds 24:44 if you can fix it somehow, do more good works, 24:50 say you're sorry to God over and over and over and over. 24:54 If you can finally convince God 24:57 to stop turning his back on you, 24:58 the ugly nasty sinner, 25:00 and finally he will go all right, all right, 25:01 you keep begging, 25:03 maybe I will forgive you after all. 25:05 When you take that approach 25:07 to what has already been forgiven, 25:10 what has already been cleansed 25:11 because you've repented and confessed. 25:13 Now, you cripple the work of God in your heart. 25:16 What happens when a sinner gets into this cycle 25:18 of unbelief and pride 25:20 I can't believe that God forgives me 25:21 so now I'm going to try to atone for my sins 25:23 and then maybe I'll get forgiveness. 25:26 Then when you do that, 25:28 you've already set yourself up for your next fall. 25:31 Because right now you're temptation may be gone 25:34 so now you don't feel like going back to this thing 25:36 but the next time the temptation rises 25:38 you're going to know in the back of your head, 25:40 I atoned for it last time, I can atone for at this time. 25:45 And you will never break free 25:47 as long as you're staying in that cycle 25:49 as long as shame convinces you 25:51 the devil himself convinces you 25:54 that the Blood of Jesus won't cover you 25:56 just when you repent and confess and give it to him. 25:59 It's like the message of defilement, 26:02 is like a jacket that's over you, 26:04 that God says to you there's a jacket on you. 26:07 You're wearing this black evil jacket 26:09 let me take it off of you 26:11 and cover you with my robe of righteousness. 26:12 That's the message of guilt a valid sense of defilement. 26:16 You've been defiled by your own sin, 26:18 but shame is a message from the devil that says, 26:20 "This jacket that's around you cannot be removed. 26:23 I'm going to zip it on to you 26:24 and you will always be defiled." 26:27 And this is what happens with a person 26:29 who has been abused, sexually abused, 26:31 they can't confess someone else's sin 26:34 and also with someone who is addicted. 26:37 They feel still defiled 26:39 and so they believe what they're feeling say 26:41 instead of what the Word of God says. 26:43 But the good news is there's hope. 26:46 God can heal you from these addictions 26:49 and if you will get into the Bible, 26:51 transformative Bible study, prayer, 26:54 claiming God's promises, getting a true picture of God, 26:57 have accountability partners, 26:59 as you said rejoicing, 27:01 God can heal. 27:02 Nicole, thank you so much. 27:05 We've enjoyed this time with you 27:06 and we just appreciate you being here, 27:08 Nicole's ministry, 27:10 she and her husband Alan have a ministry 27:11 called Heart Thirst 27:13 and you can go to heartthirst.com 27:16 and get more of their ministry materials. 27:18 They do a lot of seminars, 27:20 that'll give you more information on this topic. 27:22 Thank you so much for joining us 27:24 and may God richly bless you today, 27:27 multiplying his mercy, love, and grace to you. |
Revised 2017-09-11