Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Jennifer Jill Schwirzer
Series Code: IAA
Program Code: IAA000383
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00:01 Hi, if you are a male over the age of twelve
00:03 years old I'm betting that you've noticed 00:06 how different females are, and vise versa. 00:09 We know that men and women are different, 00:12 that's why the book Men are from Mars, 00:14 Women are from Venus was so popular. 00:17 But did God create us to be this 00:20 way and why? Please join us today 00:22 on Issues And Answers as we discuss 00:24 the differences between men and women. 00:52 Hi, I'm Shelley Quinn and today on Issues And 00:54 Answers we're talking about the differences 00:56 between men and women. Let me read a scripture 00:59 to you and this comes from Genesis chapter 2, 01:01 you might already know where I'm going. 01:05 When God created Adam after His own image 01:09 then He put him into a deep sleep removed a rib 01:11 and He created woman. And this is what He 01:13 says in Genesis 2:24, therefore a man shall 01:18 leave his father and his mother and shall become 01:21 united and cleave to his wife, 01:24 and they shall become one flesh. 01:28 Well, today we're gonna talk about the unity 01:31 of two very different, I start to say species 01:37 but two different genders here. 01:39 Let me introduce to you our very special guest 01:42 Jennifer Jill Schwirzer. Jennifer, 01:44 thank you so much for coming back to 3ABN. 01:47 Good to be here. You've been here 01:48 a number of times in the past and then we're 01:50 doing a number of programs with you right now. 01:53 Now you have your Masters in Human Services. 01:57 Mental Health Counseling. Mental Health 01:59 Counseling. So you are a certified, 02:01 a nationally certified counselor, 02:04 a Christian counselor. What's the difference 02:06 between being a Christian counselor and a 02:09 secular counselor? Well, I'm not certified 02:11 as a Christian counselor but I use a Christian 02:14 what we might called modality in counseling, 02:16 so the difference would be that, 02:18 well the central difference is that you 02:20 bring God into the therapeutic process which 02:23 makes to me all the difference in the world. 02:25 Amen. Amen. So you know I have this, 02:29 in the tease to this open I have talked about 02:32 this book Men are from Mars, 02:34 Women are from Venus. Very popular book. 02:37 Why do you think that book was so popular? 02:39 Because, I really don't think it was, 02:42 because the book was so well written or because 02:45 it presented such revolutionary information. 02:47 I think it was just the subject matter, 02:50 it's very intriguing. And what I find, 02:52 when I do presentations on this topic is that 02:55 it draws a laugh, there's a certain a 02:57 stimulation to the topic, it just, 02:59 it just gets people going. 03:01 The book was a blockbuster, 03:02 there were 16 spin offs. First of all it sold 03:05 40 million copies in 45 languages, 03:09 then there were like 16 different spin offs 03:11 you know when someone has a successful book 03:12 then they publish sort of a clone of that book, 03:14 so the spin offs were things like, 03:16 you know Mars and Venus in love, 03:18 and Mars and Venus on a date. 03:20 And the Mars and Venus exercise solutions, 03:22 so it's one thing after another the sort of 03:24 a cloned out of Mars and Venus. 03:26 And the book was called by USA Today the number 03:29 one relationship book of all time; 03:31 it was just a very, very popular book. 03:34 And I think, it's mainly because 03:35 of the subject matter. And you know, 03:37 of course, there's biological 03:38 differences but I recently read, 03:41 and we know there's emotional differences, 03:43 there's, the way our brain processes information 03:47 is different. Oh, yeah. And I read something 03:49 recently talking about even the difference the 03:52 way men and women listen. Women listen with both 03:56 spheres of their brain, where as men only 03:58 listen with one. And when I read that 04:02 I thought well, I could have told 04:03 you that, you know, but there's. 04:05 And that's what funny thing is a lot of 04:06 the research, they go to the 04:08 great lengths to, you know sort 04:10 of draw out these different features of men 04:13 versus women. And I remember reading 04:14 one study when on and on with all this 04:16 methodology and it was longitudinal 04:18 cross-sectional and you know they put all this 04:20 money and effort into it and the bottom line the 04:24 conclusion was that women are wired for 04:26 relationship and men aren't so relational 04:28 as women are. And I just thought, 04:30 well I could have told you that without 04:32 all that trouble, you know, 04:33 some things are obvious. And I think sometimes 04:35 I remember of my husband, when we first 04:37 got married, he kept telling me, 04:38 "I'm not good at relationships, 04:40 I'm not good at relationships. 04:41 And now he's probably, you know, 04:44 he's very relational. He is very relational, 04:47 and he just took, I think sometimes, 04:49 it's just modeling it or being in a 04:52 good relationship, sometimes it's just 04:54 experiential activity that develops those things. 04:59 Well. I wanna make a really important point 05:01 before we get into this, through the body of this 05:03 presentation and that is that, 05:05 we need to be very careful when we're citing 05:08 generalities whether it's an ethnic group or 05:11 whether we're talking about gender, 05:12 no matter what we are talking about when we 05:14 start talking about generalities, 05:16 it's a very important that we don't degenerate 05:18 into stereotyping. So we are talking, 05:20 when we are talking about the differences 05:22 between men and women, we're talking about trends 05:25 on the whole men are more this way and women 05:28 are more this way, however there are 05:30 always exceptions to the rule. 05:31 And the way I would like to conceptualize 05:33 is this, there are, is like a bell shaped 05:36 curve for instance that shows, 05:37 you know the spectrum of heights of men 05:40 versus women, okay, and so women are on the 05:44 whole going to be shorter than men. 05:47 On the whole. I'm the exception. 05:49 And you're the exception the average woman is 05:51 going to be, you know, the mean of woman's 05:54 heights is going to be shorter than the mean 05:56 of men's height but in two bell shaped curves 05:58 there's gonna be overlapped, 05:59 so they are gonna be women that are taller, 06:00 that many women that are taller than men, 06:03 and men that are shorter than women. 06:05 And so there are exceptions to the rule. 06:07 Yes as a woman, it's becoming more, 06:11 I think when I was younger it was 06:13 very exceptional, I'm nearly 6 feet tall. 06:16 And so when I was younger it was more 06:20 exceptional but I find, and it depends on the 06:22 area of the country you're in, 06:24 like in Oklahoma, there's a whole lot of 06:26 6 feet tall women. Texas there's a number, 06:29 a good number, California there's a lot. 06:32 Yeah. Now moved to Illinois, 06:34 and I run into woman in the store, 06:36 it just seems that everybody had 06:38 worked with here there's lot of shorter people 06:40 and shorter men it seems like to me but. 06:43 But you got the point that we have to be very 06:44 careful not to over generalize, 06:46 not to stereotype and that's, 06:48 you know it's a sensitive issue for me because 06:51 there are some ways in which each one of us 06:53 women are maybe more like a man than some 06:58 men are and we don't want to be forced into a 07:01 pigeonholed into a roll or into a certain 07:04 way of functioning just because we're 07:06 biologically women, we wanna be able 07:08 to kind of spread our wings. 07:09 Hey you know what I'm saying? 07:10 You know, when I was reading the scripture 07:12 to begin with I have this theory and this is 07:16 the theory according to Shelley Quinn, 07:18 I'm gonna say it's, it's necessary Biblical, 07:21 but I believe when God created Adam, 07:24 He put, He was created in His image that 07:27 He put all of his characteristics in Adam, 07:30 and then I think, when He removed 07:31 the rib and He created the woman, 07:34 I think that some of the attributes, 07:36 characteristics of the women, 07:39 that we label feminine, are qualities of God that 07:44 He put a few more of maybe the nurturing 07:46 qualities of this in a woman because He had 07:48 a role for her, and the man He gave 07:51 more of that fights type protective mechanisms. 07:57 And I think that all attributes of God that 08:00 as we pull them together then it becomes 08:02 that image once again. Oh, I think of metaphors 08:06 that various Bible writers used, 08:08 Jesus Himself said that He longed to gather 08:10 Jerusalem together like a hen gather for chicks, 08:13 and Paul said he was like a nursing mother 08:15 to His people, so these men were 08:17 not afraid to present their own, you know, 08:20 feminine side so to speak. Right. So obviously 08:23 that is also a reflection of God. Amen. 08:25 The part of God. Let's talk about 08:27 the differences. Let's talk about 08:28 the differences. Yeah. Let's talk with the 08:29 biological and I don't wanna go into all the 08:30 biological differences because we know, 08:32 we are just talking about too much information, 08:36 but what about the biological differences 08:37 that affect the brain for instance? 08:38 Probably one of the most important differences is 08:41 the size of the Corpus Callosum. 08:44 The Corpus Callosum is an organ that transmits 08:47 messages back and forth between the right and 08:50 left hemispheres of the brain. 08:51 Now, neuroscientist have discovered that the 08:54 hemispheres of the brain whether the right or the 08:57 left have very specific functions, 08:59 and this is hard for some people to remember, 09:01 my husband always forgets which is which, 09:03 and so he hates it when I say, oh, 09:05 so and so is right brain you know, 09:06 he hates that because he can never remember 09:08 which is which, but I'll just summarize 09:11 here and then you can forget what I said, 09:13 after I say it. The right side of 09:15 the brain is the side of the brain that deals 09:17 with the big picture. The right side of the 09:20 brain deals with creativity, 09:22 it deals with the experience, 09:24 feeling music not the technical part of music 09:26 but the artistic creative side of the music. 09:29 The left side of the brain is the part of the 09:31 brain that deals with verbalization; 09:34 it deals with categorization, 09:35 organization, judgment, so they compliment 09:39 one another. So there's an organ 09:42 called Corpus Callosum which is in the center 09:45 between those two hemispheres that conducts 09:47 messages back and forth between the two so that 09:49 we can function as human beings in fact, 09:51 in some studies where people had their Corpus 09:54 Callosum severed because they were doing that 09:56 for a while to treat epilepsy, 09:58 they found that people had problems as a 10:00 result of that. So it's an important organ 10:04 and it enables us to communicate between the 10:06 two hemispheres of the brain. 10:08 So the right side of the brain can talk 10:10 to the left, left can talk to the 10:11 right because of the Corpus Callosum. 10:14 Women's Corpus Callosum on the whole is visibly 10:17 larger to the naked eye than a male 10:19 Corpus Callosum, isn't that amazing? 10:22 That doesn't surprise me though because we, 10:24 I mean we just see that exhibited more and 10:26 manifested more in a woman's life. 10:27 Well, and I think one of the ways that it's 10:29 manifested is women can take big 10:31 picture information, and they can move very 10:34 quickly into the left side of the brain which 10:36 is the articulating side of the brain, 10:39 they can articulate that big picture information. 10:42 And so they can talk very freely about relational 10:44 dynamics about, you know these settled 10:47 things that go on that are kind right 10:48 brain things, that are real crisp 10:50 and clear and factual, they can take 10:53 these dynamics, these sort of, 10:55 you know, difficult to quantify 10:57 pieces of information, intuitive information 11:00 and they can articulate it well. 11:02 But what you find is that men tend to 11:04 be more lateral, they can't move back 11:06 and forth between the two hemispheres, 11:08 as easily as quickly and so they don't tend 11:11 to be able to do that as well. 11:13 So that's why women love to talk about 11:14 relationships on the whole. 11:16 And why men hate it when a woman says to them, 11:19 honey can we talk? On the whole. 11:22 On the whole, on the whole, yes. Okay. 11:24 Yeah, so we have the larger Corpus Callosum 11:28 in women, we have hormonal 11:30 differences obviously, testosterone does 11:32 certain things to the brain and to the behavior 11:34 and estrogen does other things and obviously 11:37 estrogen is in dominance in women and 11:39 testosterone in men. So those are just 11:41 some basic biological differences, 11:43 there are many more, I'm just touching on 11:44 things here, we don't really 11:45 have time to go into great detail. 11:47 Well, let's talk about the intellectual 11:49 differences which are related to these 11:51 biological differences, the preponderance 11:55 of research is that women are wired 11:57 for people and men are wired for system. 12:01 Women tend to be more natural at empathy, 12:03 I mentioned a moment ago nurturing, 12:06 that's seems to come naturally to women, 12:08 men on the other hand tend to look at the big 12:10 picture and organize the troops so to speak. 12:13 So what I think of, when I read research 12:15 like that is, when we used to pack the car to 12:17 go to Florida, my dad always had to be 12:20 in-charge of the packing, because he 12:21 was you know taking control of the system 12:24 and how the system was all gonna work. 12:25 It's not that he didn't care about the 12:27 individuals that were part of the systems but 12:29 he needed to keep the whole system 12:31 functioning in order to keep the individuals 12:33 safe and successfully transport them from 12:36 where we lived in Ohio to Florida. 12:39 My mother on the other hand was the one that 12:41 you know reminded everybody to their bring 12:43 their toothbrush and made sure that we didn't 12:45 bring six bathing suits and made sure that we 12:47 brought you know enough clothes in case 12:48 it got cold and stuff like that, you know she was 12:50 dealing directly with the individuals. 12:53 So that just gives you an idea of one scenario 12:55 in which the man is looking at the system 12:57 and the woman is more connected to the 12:58 individual people. And that is how we're wired. 13:01 You know, I don't meant it, not let your 13:04 talk here but. Go ahead. I think the physical is 13:06 the metaphor of the spiritual, and women 13:09 are physically constructed in such a way that they 13:12 can nourish babies, and so they're better fit 13:15 physically to be mothers particularly 13:18 of very young children. I'm not against stay at 13:21 home dads and the women working, 13:23 they can work I'm not being you know 13:25 dogmatic about this but on the whole, it's just 13:28 women function better in that home 13:30 environment especially with small children. 13:33 So that physical ability to nourish children, 13:35 I think is a metaphor of how women are 13:38 constructed to emotionally nourish people. 13:40 Yes. So God, you know God has created the 13:43 family, so that we have the role distinction but 13:46 that we shine within our respective roles. 13:48 I'm not being dogmatic about that and I don't 13:50 want you know women that work to feel like 13:52 I'm, you know, you know because, 13:53 condemning them, I'm not at all you know. 13:55 You know I have a very close friend who says 13:59 readily that her husband was the one who was 14:02 the nurturer of their family, she said if my 14:04 children got sick, I just tell them suck it up, 14:08 will you step up by the boot 14:09 straps and get out there. She said it was her 14:11 husband who was the nurturer. 14:12 So as we said these are generalities or trends 14:16 it's not always. It's not always the case and we 14:19 need to not deny the differences between 14:22 men and women but we need to not 14:24 over-accentuate them either. 14:26 You know we need to not pigeonholed men 14:28 and women to certain circumscribed 14:30 behaviors, yeah, because you know they 14:32 are men or they are women, we need to let 14:34 them be who they are, and there is a spectrum, 14:36 so there are exceptions to the rule. 14:39 Another difference between men and 14:41 women in terms of intellectual functioning 14:44 is, we have this big spike, an incidence of 14:47 Autism Spectrum Disorders. There are, you know 14:50 twenty years ago was far less autism than 14:53 there is today, something like I don't 14:55 want to site any incorrect statistics but 14:57 very high levels of autism approaching, 15:01 you know, the level of one in hundred or even 15:04 beyond that today and it was not so 50 years ago. 15:08 More autism, more and more so and people are 15:10 wrestling with this but men more often 15:13 suffered from Autism Spectrum Disorders. 15:17 In fact, this is gonna, perhaps offend 15:19 someone, please don't get offended but autism 15:22 is sometimes called the extreme male brain. 15:26 And the reason it's called that is because 15:28 the part of the brain that is affected in autism is 15:30 the part that deals with communication and 15:34 particularly face to face communication which 15:36 is tends to be very difficult for autistic 15:38 people, and also the relational 15:41 part of the brain. The part of our brain 15:42 that interprets social cues that can sort of 15:46 intuit one's way through social interactions that 15:49 comes very naturally to us, it comes very 15:52 difficult to an autistic person or a person with 15:55 autism I should say. So men are more 15:57 often prone to those Autism Spectrum Disorders. 16:01 And you know it seems like imparts the way the 16:04 male brain works is that there is kind of like, 16:09 my husband calls it in the zone, but they're 16:12 kind of bucks things off and if they are watching 16:15 sports, for example this is not the time to talk to 16:18 them about a relationship problem 16:20 because a man has tendency to at least 16:24 would seem to me to he is addressing one thing 16:27 at a time, would you agree with that? Yes, 16:29 men tend to be more compartmentalized in 16:33 their thinking; they have a harder time 16:35 coming out of whatever zone they're in and 16:37 getting into another zone. So yeah, I would agree 16:39 with that, I think it's overall more difficult 16:42 for a man but again this is just a trend, 16:44 just as a trend, and not a stereotype. Okay. 16:46 So interestingly women are better at reading 16:50 facial expressions and this is research where 16:52 they put faces in front of both men and 16:55 women, and then you're to interpret what you 16:57 think that facial expression means and 16:59 women are accurate more of the times. 17:01 So we're just more intuitive in a social 17:04 situation and this is why you sometimes have 17:07 you know women asking their husbands, 17:08 for instance you know, did you see the way that 17:11 person looked at you and he is pretty much 17:12 oblivious to what that face was saying to him 17:16 but she recognized what that face was saying. 17:18 And so there is a lot of talk after the party that 17:21 goes down between the man and the woman, 17:22 and so they are trying to sort through 17:24 some of those things. This is very interesting 17:26 to me, men have better, this is small differences, 17:30 these are not large differences, 17:32 but on the whole men have better concept 17:35 memory and women have better factual memory. 17:39 That's interesting. Isn't that interesting? 17:41 So I think of a man and a woman and many 17:44 of times I've been in this situation where 17:45 a man and a women together are trying to 17:47 tell me how to get to a certain place, 17:49 and it seems like or they're trying to relate 17:51 maybe an event, okay, for instance. 17:54 And it seems like the woman will be very 17:57 accurate with her facts, you know she will say 17:59 no it was before we are married dear or no 18:03 it was Sheryl you know, and she'll be correcting his 18:07 facts, and he will just wanna get to the point, 18:09 the point is this, because he's really tied 18:12 with the concept and she is more tied to the 18:14 factual information so. I could relate to that? 18:17 As a whole you know, I don't want to be overly 18:20 stereotypical here. By the way men have 18:22 greater IQ variants, isn't that interesting? 18:26 Men, you know have a wider spectrum of 18:29 intelligence levels than women. 18:31 Women tend to collect more in the mean 18:33 of the spectrum, so I thought that 18:36 was interesting. Yes. I don't know what 18:37 to make of that but. But it does seem like 18:40 the male brain is more susceptible to things 18:44 going wrong, don't take that the wrong way 18:48 please, but it just seems like it takes a lot to 18:52 produce a male on the whole, for instance, 18:55 with every subsequent male, the male will tend 19:01 to be two inches shorter, so it seems like 19:04 a male. Okay, every time a woman bears a 19:06 male child, he will on the whole 19:09 be two inches shorter. So if a woman has had 19:12 three children then the third son or three sons, 19:15 the third son could be four inches 19:17 shorter than the first. Yeah, and it isn't 19:20 always the case. Interesting. But the 19:21 trend is that the male child gets shorter with 19:23 each subsequent male. So my point is that it 19:27 takes a lot to make a male, and to make it right. 19:29 It seems like the womb becomes kind of 19:31 exhausted by the creation of a male, 19:34 it's more demanding out of a woman's womb to 19:37 make a male than a female and so that to 19:40 me is why perhaps things tend to go more 19:42 a rye with the building of a male brain, 19:44 just a thought I'm no scientist here but 19:48 I think, that that might be part of what's going 19:50 on, takes a lot out of woman to have a man. 19:52 That's fascinating. So, let's talk about 19:54 emotional differences, not surprisingly because 19:58 of testosterone, men are more prone to physical 20:01 aggression that doesn't surprise you. 20:04 But, doesn't surprise you that women are 20:06 more prone to verbal aggression. Really? 20:08 That's right. It does surprise me. 20:09 Yeah, does that surprise you? It does. 20:11 They are, isn't that sad, yeah. 20:13 Yes, well it's interesting. Yeah. 20:15 But estrogen where as testosterone is, makes 20:20 you know even women who have a high level 20:23 of testosterone can be very aggressive, 20:25 so it's hormonally related but the estrogen 20:29 is making you, that's the emotional swings with 20:34 the estrogen, so women then if they are having 20:37 these estrogen swings can become very 20:39 verbally aggressive, is what you're saying. 20:41 Yeah. It's interesting. So the mood of the, 20:43 you know women can have like labile, 20:45 we call labile mood, up and down mood 20:48 and you are saying that, that can lead them to 20:50 to verbal aggressions sometimes if they get 20:52 frustrated enough. That's interesting. 20:54 Yeah my husband would agree with that. 20:56 But I tried to be really nice to him and I'm 20:58 most of the time, and I've learned when I feel 21:00 like getting not so nice to him to just 21:02 walk out of the house. Take like a twenty 21:04 minute walk, and sometimes just 21:06 oxygenating your brain and getting sometime 21:09 alone with Jesus can just keep you from 21:11 taking off, so we need to learn as women how 21:15 to use our words. How much of that is 21:18 governed by temperament though because there 21:20 are different temperaments. 21:21 That's right. For example I mean, 21:23 I'm, one thing that JD always says about me, 21:25 is that I'm extremely even tempered. Really? 21:29 In my life time, I think, I could count on one 21:32 hand how many times I've lost my temper. 21:34 Really? So I'm very even tempered. 21:37 But that has to do more with, I mean, is it brain 21:41 or the temperament or what does the brain and 21:43 the temperament have to do with one and another? 21:45 There's a lot of, you know factors that sort 21:48 of flow together in the human being, 21:51 you know, there's environment, there's 21:52 the way you grew up. If you grew up in a home 21:55 where, that even temperament 21:58 was modeled by your parents 22:00 and by your family. Heavenly days you 22:01 know. With the opposite, really. 22:02 Totally the opposite. Totally the opposite, 22:04 isn't that interesting? 22:05 Maybe I was overcompensating. 22:06 Or the other, yeah you could be 22:07 overcompensating, or you could be a defense 22:09 mechanism that you're afraid to be emotional 22:11 or it could be that you just have the 22:13 genetics of a calmer person. 22:16 You know, human beings are very complex. 22:18 You know, I have people that I've had you 22:20 know, 40 and 50 hour long sessions with and 22:23 I still don't have them figured out and I'm still 22:26 learning things about them everyday, I mean 22:27 people are so complex, very, 22:30 very interesting stuff. Not surprisingly well, 22:33 maybe surprisingly but men are more prone to 22:36 psychotic disorders, women are on the 22:39 whole more prone to what we might call 22:41 neurotic disorders. What I mean by 22:44 neurotic disorders are disorders that effect the 22:47 mood for instance, depression, anxiety, 22:49 women are much more prone to develop for 22:52 instance major depressive disorder, 22:54 of course that happens to both, but women are 22:56 more prone and they have a higher rate of that. 22:59 Men on the other hand have a more apt to 23:01 developed disorders that have to do with 23:03 erratic or even aggressive behavior like 23:06 antisocial personality disorder where there is 23:08 you know violent behavior manifested or 23:12 oppositional defiant or other types of disorders 23:14 that involve aggression or psychotic episodes 23:18 where men you know, where individuals will 23:20 lose their reasons so to speak. 23:22 See and this sounds to me very hormonally 23:25 driven, I heard that actions of the hormones 23:27 on the brain. You know, I can't believe 23:29 this but we are down just to a couple of 23:31 minutes here. Oh, no. And I would really 23:33 like to ask you to kind of start putting this 23:37 together as far as we're very well aware that 23:42 men and women are quite different and even 23:44 we might say we celebrate those differences, 23:47 Viva La Difference. Amen. But, the Lord 23:50 did say that when He put us together, 23:54 He said the two shall become one, let's talk 23:56 about from the Biblical perspective. 23:58 Yeah, I really love what Genesis 1:27 says that, 24:03 God made man in His own image, male 24:06 and female created He them that word image 24:09 is tzelem in the Hebrew and it means 24:11 a representative figure, so when God got ready 24:15 to represent Himself through the human race, 24:18 we were created for His glory, Isaiah 43 says we 24:20 are created to be like Him in character to 24:23 represent Him to the universe, He wanted to 24:26 create an order of being that was so much like 24:29 Him that He could point to us and say look at 24:31 them and you will see Me, that's why He 24:33 created us, that's the purpose for which we 24:35 are created, do you agree with that? 24:36 Absolutely. Amen. And so when He got ready 24:39 to do that, He made the male and female, and so 24:43 it's male and female together 24:45 that represent God. Male alone is not a 24:48 complete representation of God, female alone is 24:51 not a complete representation of God, 24:54 we need to come together, work together 24:55 in spite of our differences whether it 24:57 be in the context of a marriage or whether it 25:00 would be in the context of the church, whether 25:02 it be in the context of a ministry, we need to 25:05 work together and complement one and 25:08 another, celebrate our differences without 25:11 being overly stereotypical, enjoying you know the 25:14 differences between men and women, 25:15 and not be shocked by them but on the other 25:18 hand not to be shocked when the rules are broken. 25:20 And I think because of the differences between 25:23 men and women, the communications is so 25:27 different among the men and women, yes, 25:28 you know I always tell women, when I grow 25:30 out, I'll say if I am just speaking to women 25:32 only, yeah, please learn when you are talking to 25:35 your husband to give him the bullet points 25:38 just give him. Exactly. You know, all he wants 25:41 is the bottom line. He doesn't wanna know 25:44 if you went to the baby shower, all the presents 25:46 she got, the name of everybody who is there 25:48 and how the gifts were wrapped etc, 25:50 but he's just asking if you had a good time, 25:53 now if he ask for more details provide him but 25:55 that's a rare occasion. That's right. And so we 25:58 need to learn how to be happy with the 26:03 differences, and not to expect, you know, 26:05 a woman can't expect her husband to talk to 26:09 her the same way that she might talk with 26:11 her best friend. Do I have time for just 26:12 a quick illustration? Quick. Women tend to 26:15 say, aha, aha, when they're listening to one 26:17 and other more and they do more face to face 26:19 communication than men, men tend to look 26:20 away and talk like, while they're looking 26:22 away or something, women look at each 26:24 other and they make more sounds to 26:26 encourage one and another. 26:28 Used to be really hard for me to talk to guys 26:29 because they wouldn't do that and I would feel 26:31 like they were stonewalling me, 26:33 but they are not, they are just different. 26:34 They are just different. That's right. Jennifer, 26:36 it has been wonderful to have you back again 26:39 and I just thank you for bringing 26:42 this delightful topic. It's lot of fun, isn't it? 26:44 It is fun, and it's just good to know that it's 26:47 okay to be different, we can't expect our 26:49 husbands to be like us and, that's right. 26:50 Men you know that we are not gonna be like you. 26:53 Well thank you so much again for joining 26:55 us and we just want to thank each one of you 26:57 at home for joining us, hope you have enjoyed 27:00 today and hope that you will celebrate the 27:02 difference of your spouse, your friend, 27:05 whoever it is that God has made to be so special. |
Revised 2014-12-17