Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Esther Castillo, Pedro J Acevedo Jr
Series Code: IAA
Program Code: IAA000376
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00:30 Hello I'm Shelley Quinn and welcome
00:32 again to Issues and Answers. We're so glad that 00:35 no matter where you live around the world 00:36 that you're joining us today and allowing us 00:38 to bring you a message of encouragement and hope 00:41 and I believe it will be proved to be 00:44 very uplifting to you. Before I tell you 00:46 about today's topic I want to share 00:48 one of my favorite Bible verses with you 00:50 and it comes from Luke 1 in verse 37. 00:53 And let me set the stage; this is when the angel had 00:57 told Mary that she is going to have the Son of God. 01:00 And she is saying how's that going to happen, 01:03 I'm a virgin. How am I going to have the 01:05 Son of God? And he said Holy Spirit 01:08 will over shadow you, God's gonna speak 01:10 this into your life, plant his seed, 01:12 his Holy seed in you. And then the angel tells her, 01:16 for with God nothing is ever impossible. 01:21 Now most Bible translations stop there 01:24 but the Greek actually says and no word from God 01:30 is without power or impossible of fulfillment. 01:33 And I'll tell you what, today we have two special guests 01:37 with us who know that nothing is impossible 01:40 with God and they know that you can count 01:43 on the promises of God. And let me introduce to you 01:47 our very special guests we have Esther Castillo, 01:50 Esther, so glad that you're with us today. 01:52 Thank you so much for the honor of having us here. 01:55 And we, we're delighted, we also have your very special 01:59 and charming son and that is Pedro Acevedo. 02:03 Pedro, welcome. Thank you. You're welcome. 02:06 Now we are going to be talking today about a topic 02:11 that's a difficult topic and its something 02:13 that it's a condition that's on the rise 02:15 in United States and around the world, 02:17 and that's autism. And you know some people 02:20 can go to medical training and become, 02:24 gain expertise through schooling, and some people 02:27 have a little more difficult road to travel, 02:29 they gain their understanding 02:31 and expertise through experience, 02:33 and you have gone down that road. 02:36 Let me start with you Esther, 02:38 what if you could in layman's terms 02:42 explain to us what is autism? 02:46 I would rather kind of read it even though as a mother, 02:52 I could explain to you what is autism in my life. 02:55 I could describe about a disorder 02:58 that really effects the left side of the brain 03:00 which is the center of communication, okay. 03:03 And when a person is impacted with this disorder 03:07 because it responds different, 03:09 no one single person reacts the same way 03:13 but it is described as a complex developmental 03:18 disorder that appears in the first three years 03:21 of life, in Pedro's case was 18 months old, 03:24 one year and half. You know that it is sometimes 03:27 diagnosed much later. It effects 03:31 the brain's development of social 03:33 and communication skills, okay. So once that person, 03:39 that child can't communicate anymore 03:41 it has the tendency to isolate. 03:44 They can understand everything you're saying 03:47 but the fact that they can not communicate to you. 03:50 Yes, I understand what you're saying, 03:53 I wanted to understand that I'm in pain, 03:56 I want you to understand that I realize 03:59 that I am making funny faces 04:00 and you're making fun of me. 04:02 I want you to understand that yes I am aware 04:05 that you're calling me retarded, 04:07 or you're calling me these names, 04:08 or you restraining me because I can not 04:12 explain to you that I am oversensitive 04:14 to all of those your scheme to the fabric 04:18 that I have on. And it does effect, 04:20 I would say not only communication 04:22 and socialization, but it also as effects 04:25 the hearing, sometimes they have hyper-acuity, 04:29 the vision. You stop there, when you say hyper-acuity 04:33 of hearing, what do you mean? 04:34 I mean that they can hear a lot more 04:36 than a normal person. So they've got the ears 04:40 I mean we say like the eyes of the eagle 04:43 and the ears of, dogs have hypersensitivity 04:45 so they can, is this the reason that they often, 04:49 they flap their ears because they, 04:53 if the pitch of your voice they can not tolerate, 04:57 it could cause pain like when your nail, 04:59 you have a nail and you hammer 05:01 the nail inside of the ears so, oh mercy. 05:03 Pedro went through that, we couldn't use 05:06 the vacuum cleaner, we couldn't use the blender. 05:09 If I was driving and Pedro was in the back seat, 05:11 and an 18 wheelers truck was passing by 05:14 and he was in the back seat, he was going to pull 05:16 my hair and yank it just to let me know stop the noise 05:21 of that truck because it's causing me pain, mercy, 05:24 I didn't know those things. So now, 05:28 he was 18-months-old and explain to us 05:33 how you learned about this diagnosis, 05:36 the first 18-months of his life he appeared to be 05:39 absolutely normal and then suddenly something happens, 05:43 how did you learn? Pedro had an ear infection 05:47 and the pain was unbearable. 05:49 The fever started going up and I remember that Sunday 05:52 putting everything suppositories 05:54 and cold compresses and everything to bring 05:57 the fever down, but he didn't responded 06:01 to everything that I was doing, before that may be 06:05 I need to explain to you that my daughter Dina, 06:09 my oldest daughter. Every woman wants to be a mother, 06:13 so I became a mother when I was 31, 06:15 I wanted more to be a mother than being married, 06:17 so I was all excited being married having my baby 06:21 six weeks after she was one day discovered 06:23 that she was born with a complete AV canal, 06:25 she had a hole that was gathered 06:27 in the four chambers of her heart, Oh mercy. 06:29 And she was declared clinically dead, 06:32 three-months old she was in ICU 06:33 having the first surgery. They decided just to close 06:39 the pulmonary artery because every time 06:41 that the heart was closing the blood 06:43 was going into her lungs. Those 35 days that I was 06:46 in the hospital my husband became an alcoholic 06:49 because he couldn't go home and think that two woman 06:52 of my life are not home, so he spend 06:53 those thirty five days and nights across the hospital 06:56 drinking, drinking, drinking. And even though 06:59 he wasn't a believer there were days that the church 07:03 was praying so hard that my daughter 07:05 was anointed today, could just survive 07:08 and there was one night when he had a voice 07:11 that says she will be fine. So he told me don't cry 07:15 anymore, because I was like angry, 07:16 I went to another room because I didn't want 07:18 to see her dying already. And he told me stop crying, 07:22 she will be fine and I am gonna take her, 07:24 I am going to fix that surgery even though 07:26 she didn't have the first surgery 07:28 and I will pay a plastic surgeon 07:30 and it was really a miracle because the surgery 07:33 didn't work and all the blood on the lungs 07:36 went to the heart and I was told by the doctors, 07:39 she won't make it. And I said the God 07:41 that I believe in and I ask him to take her, 07:43 if she is going to a shame her. And I promise Him 07:48 to give him my life on the exchange of my baby. 07:50 And if she didn't die with all the morphine 07:54 that you gave her and if she didn't die 07:56 with this first surgery that six girls die 07:59 with the same surgery the same night my daughter 08:01 was the only survivor. She is not going to die now; 08:04 you said that the surgery didn't work. 08:06 So I took my baby home after about ten hours 08:09 of fighting, they told me if she doesn't gain two ounces 08:12 in two days, we are going to keep her baby with us 08:15 because she is going to die. She has anorexia 08:17 and she is losing too much weight. 08:19 The church went into pray and my daughter 08:22 gained the two ounces, and eventually 08:24 at four months old, she decided to drink 08:26 milk again. Praise God, when Pedro is sick 08:29 my husband was really a very 08:32 deep, deep, deep alcoholic. So that they he was, 08:35 first let me ask you what is your daughter's name? 08:37 My daughter's name is Dina, so Dina is how much older? 08:41 She is now 24, oh she is two years 08:44 and half older than Pedro. Two and half years older 08:47 than Pedro, so when he is a year and half 08:50 then she is 4-years-old and now she has miraculously, 08:56 God has proven his promise to your husband 08:59 and what you husband shared with you. 09:01 Dina is a healthy child now at 4-years-old, okay. 09:06 Now you though have a husband who is walking 09:09 the pathway of alcoholism how did he respond 09:13 when he got the diagnosis of Pedro. 09:16 Well, I would say that he was on denial, okay, 09:20 because English was his primary languages. 09:22 He was raised in New York since he was five. 09:25 English was not my primary language, so that night 09:30 as I said that my son had the high fever, 09:32 my husband for several days was not home. 09:34 And here I am, I don't have any car, 09:37 I don't have any telephone, 09:38 I cannot even call an ambulance 09:39 and my baby is dying on my hands with this high fever, 09:43 I just kneel down with Dina and I pray and the pastor 09:45 who was preaching said Esther 09:46 is not here with the children. 09:48 Get out of the pulpit Elder and go and check 09:51 and see what is happening to Esther. 09:53 And I praise the Lord because my brother-in-law 09:56 who was an Elder came to my apartment, 09:59 Pedro was almost dying. So he took us to the hospital 10:02 they sat him on ice when he entered the hospital 10:06 I could say, say mommy, he was going to say mommy; 10:09 but then after they put his body on ice 10:12 I could say Pedro say mommy and he went, 10:16 I took a child to the hospital, 10:19 I came out of the hospital with a different child. 10:21 I lost my first baby that day at the hospital. 10:25 So after that he had no voice whatsoever, really? 10:29 He went back to probably four months 10:33 of communication and he started to laugh 10:38 in the middle of the night to wake us up, 10:40 to rip off his clothes, 10:41 there was no more eye contact. 10:44 And he went like to a word of his own. 10:48 And I know that something was happening to my baby, 10:51 but my husband just told me you are overprotecting him, 10:54 there is nothing wrong. We couldn't have the diagnosis 10:57 until he was four. But before he was four, 11:01 I was begging the pediatrician to please 11:03 let me know what was wrong with my baby? 11:05 And he told me we need to wait for Dina's 11:08 second big heart surgery. Now that she is four, 11:12 if she survived the fixing of her heart 11:14 then we will go over Pedrito and find out 11:18 what is wrong with your son, why'd he cannot speak 11:20 even though he is 2-years-old already, mercy. 11:24 So what was your life changed so much 11:29 then because you've got this beautiful baby boy 11:32 and you've got some pictures of Pedro 11:34 don't you? Let's look at those pictures now 11:37 because he was such a little darling okay, so. 11:40 This is Pedro when he was four months before 11:44 he became autistic; this is the way 11:47 I brought my family from New York. 11:49 We were a complete family; Dina was three, 11:52 he was one and two months old. 11:55 A child that sung with the heritage singers, 11:59 a child that walked when he was 11 months 12:02 and a child that was just so into his cradle at 12:06 Sabbath school and praising the Lord, 12:10 then, he is a darling, yes. Here it is when he was, 12:16 how old were you here Pedro, three. 12:18 When he was 3-years-old with his Daddy, 12:20 he was autistic already, okay, and you could see 12:24 that he is his daddy Frank. So, he is Pedro Junior, 12:27 yes, on that birthday he was freely over stimulated 12:31 because it was too stimulating for him 12:34 with the noises of his birthday, beautiful child. 12:37 In this one was the day when I drop him 12:40 at his first early intervention program. 12:43 They use this star as his report card 12:46 and I was in tears to leave him at his first school 12:50 where he was going to have all of his speech 12:52 and language therapy, occupational therapy 12:54 but he was happy, he was happy there and I praise 13:00 the Lord that I decided to go for early intervention 13:03 because it was a teacher who decided to search 13:06 for the diagnosis for my son. Praise God, 13:09 so though you knew something was wrong 13:12 at 18 months, you didn't know it was autism? 13:16 That's correct, when you found out it was autism 13:20 were you familiar? Had you already gotten 13:22 your bachelor degree, where you already educated 13:24 so you went school then later 13:25 and got your master's degrees even in 13:27 behavior science and education. 13:30 But let's back up, so you knew that Pedro 13:35 something it happened, he quit communicating 13:37 and now he is 4-years-old and he is in school 13:41 and someone comes and tells you he is autistic, 13:44 did you know what that was? That's an excellent question, 13:49 because being that, English is not my primary language, 13:52 yes, when Dina made it through her surgery 13:58 and his pediatrician has no clue what was autism 14:02 all about, so he says I know something is wrong 14:04 with Pedro but let me just look for somebody else, 14:06 give me referral to a neurologist, 14:09 because he referred him for a special language 14:12 evaluation, they found though that he wasn't deaf 14:15 that he could hear perfectly. 14:17 So that was when they realize 14:19 that he was something that have to go with the brain, 14:21 but the special language pathologist 14:25 didn't want to scare me, she didn't want to tell me 14:27 something really, really wrong is happening. 14:31 So when I take him to the neurologist, 14:33 and neurologist told my husband he has an autistic 14:36 like behavior, and my husband kind of understood 14:39 but I was asking my husband what is that; 14:42 autistic like, what is that? 14:43 So still my husband is telling me, he is okay, 14:47 he is fine. So he really was in denial, 14:50 he was in denial and because of my 14:52 language barrier I couldn't find words to explain 14:56 what was wrong with my son? So I would say that 14:58 we wasted two years and a half looking at my son, 15:02 ripping off clothes. In the mean time I'm taking him 15:05 to camp meetings to see the people out of ignorance 15:08 with the good faith anointing him 15:10 to cast the devil away from my baby, oh bless you. 15:13 At the church, I could see that 15:14 they are gonna taking him to the bathroom to whip him 15:17 with the belts because he was very irreverent 15:19 being two years old and he was all the noises 15:21 that he was making like a little animal. 15:23 So, many things happened and I didn't have words 15:28 to explain my son's behavior. 15:30 Now when I pay attention to this speech 15:33 and language pathologist and take him 15:34 to the early intervention program when he was four 15:38 the public school said no we can not pay 15:41 at private school bring him over to the public school. 15:43 And one day he was crying with tears 15:46 that was another thing he didn't cry with tears, 15:48 he could made the faces with tears didn't come out 15:50 of his eyes, okay, but he is crying with tears 15:52 completely mute and the teacher looked at him 15:55 and said I need to call Boston 15:57 because we were in the city of New Bedford, 15:59 and get a developmental psychologist to come 16:01 and observe this child. And the developmental 16:04 psychologist went to the classroom 16:06 then came to my house. And Friday, my husband told me, 16:11 I've been given a diagnosis, 16:14 you were right something was wrong with me. 16:17 Three years after we got married I was HIV Positive. 16:21 Okay now, wow! You were throwing in another, 16:24 so I thought you were saying that your husband 16:26 was going to say yes, we've got the diagnosis for Pedro 16:30 but your husband was also having some symptoms 16:34 and now he goes to the doctor and comes 16:37 and tells you, you're right there is something wrong 16:41 with me your husband, I'm HIV positive, yes. 16:45 Five days after and I am saying this, 16:47 so that you could understand how heavy 16:50 was the impact of Pedro's diagnosis, okay. 16:53 Friday my husband telling me 16:54 I've been given six months to live, six months to live, 16:58 six months to live and on Tuesday, Saturday, 17:00 Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, four days 17:02 after my son's developmental psychologist 17:06 come home and tell me I have a news to give you. 17:10 Your son has a long life developmental disability 17:13 that has no cure. At that moment, 17:15 I was pinching myself, thinking am I alive, 17:19 the two big love of my life my husband 17:22 and my baby are about to go, oh mercy. 17:28 And my husband after that, that he was confronted 17:33 with you have six months to live, 17:35 he decided to kind of having an abusive, 17:38 you know relationship and kind of give Pedro 17:42 and I and my daughter the love 17:43 that we really needed so much. Esther, 17:46 how did you cope with this? Okay your husband, 17:50 you see a behavioral change in your husband 17:52 and he becomes more loving and you are looking at him 17:58 thinking he is going in six months, 17:59 your concern must be devastated thinking 18:03 your beautiful baby boy has got a long term, 18:07 life long developmental disorder, 18:11 how did you cope with this? On my knees, Amen, 18:15 what a great answer, what a great answer, on my knees, 18:18 yes alright. You'd been married eight years, 18:21 I think you've mentioned to me earlier, eight years 18:25 when your husband first got the diagnosis 18:28 he was HIV positive, before we get married, okay 18:33 and he didn't know, we didn't know. 18:34 He was actually HIV positive 18:36 before you married, before, three years before 18:38 we got married. Alright, but now you've been married 18:40 eight years, did you, did he survive longer 18:45 than the six months that the doctors said? 18:48 How long did he survive? Seven more years, 18:51 seven more years and how was that? 18:54 Well he decided to change his lifestyle, 18:56 he became vegetarian. We went to an 19:01 alternative treatment clinic. You know with ozone 19:05 treatment and I always treated him 19:08 like the cane of my life, I never denied him 19:11 of anything because of his diagnosis. 19:14 I encouraging him to go back to school 19:17 and to help me that was when he finally got out 19:20 of the self denial and decided to join forces 19:23 with me who did not know the language 19:26 to go to the school meetings to see how I was being molt 19:30 because my language was so, my accent was so heavy 19:33 that when I was saying, I need help for my baby. 19:36 He is not stupid, he is not a profoundly retarded, 19:39 please you know read, I am enrolled now 19:42 in the Autism Society of America 19:44 and I begged my husband let me go back to school please, 19:47 because he told me you have Dina to take care of. 19:50 Dina was the princess, the baby, and one of things 19:54 that you will read in this book 19:56 that says on your our words was how she cry 19:58 because the day when Pedro was born my husband 20:01 so much into alcoholism that he didn't buy 20:03 a crib for Pedro. So I have to prepare Dina's crib 20:07 and Dina almost killed him with throwing toys 20:09 to that little boy and that was on her crib, yes. 20:12 She didn't understand that he was that, 20:14 I needed to be faithful to my husband and make him 20:17 feel is over with Jesus power. 20:20 You don't need alcoholism, Dina is here, 20:22 the miracle has been done. So it was hard for him 20:27 but he finally, when he realized 20:29 that he was gonna die he decided to, 20:31 not to us said the Lord immediately 20:33 but to pay for a Christian education for my daughter 20:36 to let us finally have family worship with all, 20:39 following those turn into television on. 20:41 They are not going to sing one day at the time, 20:44 praise God, praise God you know and he let me go back 20:48 to school to learn and that was when Pedro 20:52 was my inspiration for me to get my bachelor's degree 20:55 in psychology and we became involving the community, 20:59 I adopted 24 families who didn't speak English 21:02 to let them know about the resources that were there 21:05 and going to meetings with him 21:07 and fighting for the raise of their children. Amen. 21:10 How was life different for you before 21:13 and after autism? Before I would say that 21:16 we were a happy family, even though my husband 21:19 was struggling with alcoholism but Pedro 21:22 was enjoying at home, I mean he was born 21:25 with 10 pounds and 11 ounces, eating like a bird, 21:28 he still eats like that today. But he brought us 21:31 so much peace, you know and he four of us together, 21:34 it was just awesome. Then having my son's diagnosis 21:39 and my husband's diagnosis together, 21:41 it was like leaving one day at the time 21:43 and thinking what can I do to rescue my husband 21:47 and my son. And it must have been so 21:50 terribly frustrating when you recognized 21:52 and started studying on autism that this is a child 21:56 whose understanding you and his frustration, 21:59 his behavioral outburst are because he just can't 22:05 communicate with you and he is so frustrated 22:07 and to try to reach him must have been a very, 22:10 I mean that was a driving factor and he wasn't. 22:15 Now you know I am looking at her time, 22:18 and we have so little time left, you will come back, 22:21 I know we're planning on a second program 22:23 but would you like to talk about 22:26 the types of therapies, do we have time 22:28 and the short time or would you rather reserve 22:30 that for a second program. 22:32 Well I could kind of go over them, in Pedro's case 22:36 the first one that he needed was the speech 22:39 and language therapy with the 22:41 functional pragmatic component, okay. 22:44 And by functional I explain that is not only teaching 22:46 them how to speak. Is teaching them 22:49 how to go to a post office and how to use the language 22:52 to communicate with the real world. 22:54 Pragmatic is the social language 22:55 that he needs to survive in case nobody who loves him 22:59 when he is around them, that's good. 23:00 So his speech and language pathology was on that. 23:02 He also received a auditory integration therapy 23:05 which is the one that desensitize him 23:08 when he was listening to so much noises 23:12 that our voices he couldn't, 23:14 he was covering his ears because the tone 23:17 of our voices. This is the way Pedro used to hear, 23:20 you could see in the top that the sound went all 23:23 the way up from one place to another 23:26 and after ten days this is the way 23:28 they cut off his hearing so that 23:30 he wouldn't be impaired. So they had the, 23:33 this all parts of autism they have, 23:35 the left side of the brain then it's effecting 23:37 their hearing to where they have such auditory acuity 23:43 that is disorder, absolutely torture to him, 23:47 yes, yes and then through therapy 23:48 they were able to help that, that must have 23:51 been a very big blessing. Yes, I know that therapy 23:54 that he needed to was to desensitize his skin 23:57 which we call sensory integration therapy. 24:00 He needed to be taken for a whole year 24:02 to an occupational therapy, so he was certified 24:05 in sensory integration disorder, 24:06 that was when he finally decided not to rip off 24:10 his clothes, because, so that's why 24:12 he was ripping off his clothes, because they feel 24:14 like when you are out on an elevator 24:16 and somebody touching you and you say you shock me, 24:18 yes, they feel that all over their body. 24:21 So it's like that static electricity, 24:23 those little shocks, 24/7 especially when you put 24:26 some type of material or clothes 24:28 and they can't tell you this is driving me nuts, 24:30 so they will take it off. At school the teachers 24:34 didn't know about that, so they used to scratch 24:36 his face and his chest, restraining him 24:38 when he was telling them the sense of your skin 24:41 is driving me nuts, even the scent 24:44 or the tone of the voice of people is like 24:47 they are completely they were around them, 24:49 doesn't make any sense to them and all they can do 24:52 when they can speak use to throw temper tantrums 24:55 and behaviors. And unless they recover from that 24:58 and can speak and say this is why I do what I do? 25:01 They suffer alone, it's not misbehaving 25:04 because they want to, it's because of the reason 25:07 that it's really making them to feel discomfort. 25:09 Well we've got so much more to talk about 25:13 and because we're certainly not going to leave you 25:16 without hope, I told you this is going to be a 25:18 program of encouragement and the encouragement 25:21 is Pedro's now in college and he is communicating 25:25 and God did even though your husband 25:30 did go to his rest, he accepted Christ 25:35 is his savior confessed his sins before he died, Amen. 25:38 So you have the blessed hope 25:40 that you will be reunited with him, 25:42 your daughter Dina is now healthy 25:46 and she is also getting her degree in psychology 25:49 because she wants to help other children 25:52 who are developmentally challenged 25:54 and we've got Pedro who we're going to hear 25:57 from during our second program, 25:59 who is going to college 26:01 and such a delightful young man. 26:03 So God has been good to you and let me ask you, 26:09 just if you could take just a few seconds 26:11 and look in this camera over here 26:13 what would you say to a parent 26:16 who has just received this diagnosis 26:20 for their child of autism? I will tell them 26:24 that with God everything is possible. 26:27 God could conquer language barrier, remember 26:31 that you have your son or your daughter eyes 26:34 and ears, nobody will do it, but you. 26:36 And I said like I did that Cross, 26:38 I say ladder to reach out for always. 26:41 Educate yourself, surround yourself 26:44 with supportive groups and tell your family 26:46 that all you need is their understanding, 26:48 you don't need them to repeat at you 26:50 but to re-understand and then to show love 26:53 for your child because they are really, really make us 26:55 happy when they are loved. Amen. 26:58 And as you said that the cross become a ladder 27:02 to get across to go there and know that, that child, 27:06 this precious child is one that's worth loving 27:10 and worth reaching and you have reached him 27:13 where he can now communicate with you again. 27:15 Esther, thank you so much for sharing today, 27:18 and Pedro we'll give you a chance to talk 27:21 on the next program, how's that. Okay. 27:25 For those of you at home, if you know someone 27:28 who has an autistic child or perhaps 27:31 you have one in your family, 27:33 I would really encourage you to have them 27:38 tune in for this program again next time 27:40 and see how, what hope God can give them 27:45 and you know, Romans 15:13 says, 27:47 Now may the God of hope fill you to overflow 27:50 with joy as you trust him, thank you so much. |
Revised 2014-12-17