Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn
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and welcome to
Issues and Answers.
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Today is a hot topic and you're
going to want to stay tuned
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whether you are a
parent or grandparent,
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maybe an unmarried young single.
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We are going to be talking
today about sexual purity.
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And if you are a
teenager please stay tuned
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because you are gonna
hear something different
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than you probably ever
heard in your life before.
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You know Paul
wrote to the Corinthians
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and we are all
familiar with the scripture.
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1 Corinthians
6:18, his advice was
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"Shun immorality and
all sexual looseness."
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He's saying flee
from the impurity
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whether it's in word,
thought, action or deed.
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And he said, "Any
other sin which a man commits
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is one outside the
body, but he who commits
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sexual immorality
sins against his own body."
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Why does the Lord tell
us to be sexually pure?
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Well, we need to be able
to explain this to our youth
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in such a way that
they will understand
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that there are--
there's science behind it.
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There is many good reasons.
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And here joining us again
today is Dr. Douglas Weiss.
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Doug, you are
getting ready to go talk
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and with the whole group of
teens about this, aren't you?
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Yes, ma'am. We love doing that.
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Yeah. And when
you are physiologist.
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Yes. You have Heart to Heart--
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Counseling centers
in Colorado Springs.
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Counseling centers
in Colorado Springs,
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written 20 books.
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Why you like to talk to
kids about sexual purity?
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Well, one of the things
we specialize is the back end
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where people have
sexual addictions.
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And so what we want
to do is to stop that
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from happening to began with.
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Amen, and we see
that the devil is coming
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at our children
from every direction.
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Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.
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Every form of media, magazines,
television, the internet,
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now its even on their phones,
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its in the homes,
without blocking it
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the children get
really into serious trouble.
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But the enemy is after
something very specific
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and that's in
Revelation 2-20. Okay?
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This women Jezebel is
teaching people in the church
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so they can be
immortal and be Christians.
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And God says, I
give her time to repent,
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she won't repent, I am
gonna strike her children dead.
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I am going to deal
with those who do this.
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But in verse 26 He gets
into a whole crux of this.
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He says, to him
or her who overcomes
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this doctrine of sexual
morality and Christianity,
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he trying to mix the two.
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If you overcome
that doctrine I will,
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and God always keeps His word.
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I will give you
authority over the nations.
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All right, now-- And so, no.
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Let me stop, what we
were talking about is,
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your sexual purity and
your spiritual authority
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are inter connected
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and the enemy has
always knows this.
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If you can get a country
or a group of people immoral
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then God has a
discipline because he's just.
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Do you see what
I am saying? Yes.
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And so he's after our
children's spiritual authority.
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That's what this
game is really about,
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to give then shame and secrecy
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and so they don't pick
up their spiritual swords
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and charge their
generation with the gospel.
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And this is
something that you know,
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during our day at
the I love Lucy and--
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Right, right, right.
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We kind of
understood that as a Christian,
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I mean, it was not kind of it
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used to be preached all
the time about sexual purity.
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And this was
something that we accepted
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but weren't
bombarded on every front.
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Young people today
have a much greater problem
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because it is being
presented as, this is the norm.
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You are not
natural if you don't.
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Well, purity is actually about
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50% of kidsare
staying sexually pure
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but we want more, especially
more in the Christian faith.
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We are--we've
all known teen girls
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who raise in Christian homes,
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who had issues
and young man as well.
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And the scripture
you use was interesting
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because that's the scripture
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and we are gonna take to
teach teenagers about this
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because the way that we
are wired physically, okay,
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is that when we do
participate in that behavior
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we get the highest level
of endorphins and enkephalins
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the brain chemicals hits the
excitement center of your brain
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and you literally glue to
whatever is in your vision.
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So that's that the pornography
industry is so powerful
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because young
men will glue to that
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and create an appetite for that.
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James calls that
lust then sin then death.
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You know, put us down that path.
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But young people don't
know that if they do that,
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they are actually setting
up neuropath way of enforcement
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and that's what
it's taking about.
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We are sending
this through our body.
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That Greek word body
actually means body, okay.
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You are actually
gluing yourself to something
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that you shouldn't
be gluing to, okay.
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So this is-- And
that really, really hurts.
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This is biological scientific
that it's not just something
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that you can
look at then dismiss.
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You get into it and
your mind is glued to it.
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So you are gonna
bring all of this baggage,
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this sin even if
you repented of the sin
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you've got
something now going on
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and it comes into the marriage.
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And it can take you into
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all kinds of
stuff as an adult, okay.
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And you know, they
did a Redbook to the study
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and I think they
found results kind of
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not what they were looking for
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but they did a study
of women, 500,000 women,
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that's bigger than
the town we are in, okay.
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Yeah. 500,000
women answered the survey
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and they found that
women who had started earlier,
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had more partners had the lowest
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physical
satisfaction in their marriage.
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That didn't surprise me though.
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So young people,
you want to stay pure,
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you want to have really
good boundaries around this.
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This is really, really critical
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because if you don't
then you'll get in trouble.
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See, the enemy wants
to hurt, God wants to heal
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and He wants us to have purity
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because see with purity
comes spiritual authority.
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We can go through
this with scripture, okay.
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The strongest man in the world
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was taken down by a
immorality, that's Samson.
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The wisest man
under Jesus was Solomon.
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He was taken down
at the end of his life
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through all the
women he got involved with
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and adultery in there.
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And then so the-- we
know it can impact you.
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Then we can look at
people who didn't involve, okay.
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We don't see Moses falling.
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We don't see Joshua falling.
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We don't see Joseph
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who was really tempted to
fall by his master's wife.
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Didn't fall and God made him
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the second most
powerful man in the world
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but his purity
had he given it up
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he will lost his position. Amen.
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Do you see what I am saying?
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So purity and position,
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purity and
authority are connected.
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So young people, I always say
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if God has a call in your
life and really want to see
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that nation had
changed and gospel promoted
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and you want to see Jesus
Christ show up in your life
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your purity is really critical.
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Not that God will be merciful
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if you make
mistakes or stuff like that.
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And the blood is more powerful
than any of our sins, okay,
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we know that.
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But there is a correlation
between purity and position.
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Aren't we glad that
Mary stayed a virgin? Amen.
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Aren't we glad that
Jesus stayed sexually pure?
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Amen. Yes. Okay.
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And we can look
throughout church history
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and see God uses people
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who really have
this thing together.
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And we've all seen the
stories and the newscast
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and newspapers about
men of God who have fallen.
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Do you see what I am saying?
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And they have lost what God
have for them in their life.
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Now of say a parent
is watching right now
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or perhaps a grandparent
which I am sure many of you are
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and we've got this
young person in their life
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that's beginning
to dress a little,
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you know, as they
are growing a little
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but, dressing a
little more scads,
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they are beginning
to listen to some music
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that you don't
think is appropriate
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and you see them beginning
to run with the faster crowd.
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Let's set up, how do
you give children boundaries
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or not just children
but the youth boundaries?
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Right, well, you need to
invite them into a process.
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And the way I like
to invite the teens
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into a process is this
way, you are becoming an adult,
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you are growing
up so because of that
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now we need to
talk about this, okay.
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And we've got materials
that they can go on our website
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and find if they want
some more information but.
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So then we say,
okay, here's some, here's--
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let's talk about how long
until someone gives you a kiss,
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holds you hands, hugs
you, hugs you front wise?
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How long until xyz behaviors?
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Okay. Let's walk through that.
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In other words,
there's actually a form
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we have that we give to kids
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and they fill this out
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because it makes
them think through it
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because so many singles,
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the churches abandoned a
lot of singles in general.
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We don't ask,
you don't tell. Okay.
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We don't invite
them as a family.
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The church is the only
family who doesn't say,
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you know what, come in here.
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These are the family guidelines
when it comes to dating.
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Few churches have
that. That's good point.
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You know what I am saying?
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They are saying you know
what, if you are a single,
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here is the boundaries
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and you are
accountable to this person,
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this person and
here's the way we do it.
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No, just come on in
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and you guys just do
whatever you want to.
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We hope you all
being good and you know,
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let us know
when you get married.
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And that's global abandonment
of our single people.
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That's true. You
see what I am saying?
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Yes. Okay.
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As family you wouldn't
do that with your children.
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No family does that
but the church family does.
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And the singles feel it and they
have some feelings about that.
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They don't feel protective
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and safe in the
church that they could.
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Now, so then it
becomes it comes on them
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to set up the
boundaries on how long
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and all this kind of stuff.
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And I encourage young people
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to get
accountable to another couple.
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Spiritual couple
that they respect and--
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And now you are talking
people who are what college age?
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Sixteen to college, yeah.
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Well, actually 16 to 60
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because we got the whole
singles again group. All right.
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Because they don't want
to be told what to do either.
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You can't tell me I
can't hold her hand, okay.
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Listen, what you want to do
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because you can have "accidents"
00:10:01.32\00:10:02.35
at 50 just like you
did when you were 15.
00:10:02.38\00:10:04.16
That's good. Okay.
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And when the single
group is really good
00:10:05.86\00:10:07.00
at planning accidents.
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Do you know what
I am saying? Right.
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I was over there at 10 o'clock
and don't know how it happened.
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What were you doing over
there at 10 o'clock? Okay.
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Do you know what I am saying?
00:10:14.86\00:10:16.17
They have to
have those boundaries
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no matter what your age is.
00:10:17.26\00:10:18.42
So you have
these listed boundaries
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then you make yourself
accountable to another couple.
00:10:19.77\00:10:21.87
Every other week you
go over to that couple
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and go over your boundaries
to make sure they are intact.
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And after there's been
a sin you ask forgiveness,
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you own it, you
pray through that.
00:10:28.58\00:10:29.94
And that will
keep the younger people
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more solid during
that dating, quoting,
00:10:31.94\00:10:35.48
finding someone
process whether they are 15
00:10:35.51\00:10:38.50
or whether they are 50.
00:10:38.53\00:10:39.93
And I can tell
you do a singles again
00:10:39.96\00:10:41.69
you know, talks that's
group is harder to talk to
00:10:41.72\00:10:44.12
because they think
they know something.
00:10:44.15\00:10:46.23
They are just as
human and now they say well,
00:10:46.26\00:10:47.64
and they were even
more so with the hurt
00:10:47.67\00:10:49.42
and pain and
desperation in this age.
00:10:49.45\00:10:51.62
So now, what are
some of the boundaries?
00:10:51.65\00:10:52.86
You have a daughter and as she's
coming into her teen years,
00:10:52.89\00:10:58.83
what are some of the boundaries
00:10:58.86\00:11:00.00
that you might try
to lay down for her?
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Sure. Well, this is again.
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This is as we
invite her into the process
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because she's a
part of the process now.
00:11:06.43\00:11:08.16
My daughter is
precious in a lot of ways,
00:11:08.19\00:11:10.67
this is one of them, okay.
00:11:10.70\00:11:12.19
She goes to a Christian school
00:11:12.22\00:11:13.25
which if you can afford
it, I recommend it. Amen.
00:11:13.28\00:11:15.88
Because the most
mistakes are going to happen
00:11:15.91\00:11:18.15
between about
you know, 14 to 24.
00:11:18.18\00:11:21.75
So better the pure
group is the better chances
00:11:21.78\00:11:24.41
are you gonna have
better outcomes, okay.
00:11:24.44\00:11:26.82
And I am okay with
people working little extra
00:11:26.85\00:11:29.39
to get their kids into a
Christian environment. Amen.
00:11:29.42\00:11:31.85
You know, I am not with--hey,
let's throw these great lambs
00:11:31.88\00:11:34.97
into the wolves
and see how they do.
00:11:35.00\00:11:37.60
That's not fair. Okay.
00:11:37.63\00:11:39.81
So anyway that's just
my personal preference.
00:11:39.84\00:11:41.71
But, so she goes
to Christian school.
00:11:41.74\00:11:43.40
One of her teacher said
00:11:43.43\00:11:45.47
that she made a
deal with her daughter
00:11:45.50\00:11:47.10
that if she wait till
the end of high school
00:11:47.13\00:11:50.24
that she would give
her x-amount of money.
00:11:50.27\00:11:53.49
Wait till the end of high to--
00:11:53.52\00:11:54.97
Before she kissed.
00:11:55.00\00:11:56.03
Before she kissed.
Before she kissed a boy.
00:11:56.06\00:11:57.78
Okay.
00:11:57.81\00:11:58.84
And my daughter is little smart.
00:11:58.87\00:11:59.90
She think I make more money
than the health teacher, okay.
00:11:59.93\00:12:03.02
So she comes
home, she goes, dad,
00:12:03.05\00:12:04.27
she goes, you know, she
tells me a story about this
00:12:04.30\00:12:06.30
and she goes, what
do you think about this?
00:12:06.33\00:12:08.15
And I say, well, I
tell you what Vanessa,
00:12:08.18\00:12:09.93
I'll give you five
times of that amount
00:12:09.96\00:12:11.53
if you wait till high-school.
00:12:11.56\00:12:13.06
I'll give you five
times of that amount
00:12:13.09\00:12:15.02
if you wait till college
00:12:15.05\00:12:16.45
and I'll give you
five times of that amount
00:12:16.48\00:12:18.70
if you wait till day you
are married. Oh, that's good.
00:12:18.73\00:12:21.71
Now see, here' what happened.
00:12:21.74\00:12:24.13
We moved the
boundary of what's valuable
00:12:24.16\00:12:27.56
to our family
down to the first kiss.
00:12:27.59\00:12:30.50
That's excellent.
00:12:32.35\00:12:33.38
Do you see what
I am saying? Yeah.
00:12:33.41\00:12:34.70
So now she has a
huge-- she could buy a car
00:12:34.73\00:12:38.29
with how much money if all
three of those put together,
00:12:38.32\00:12:40.65
she can buy a car
for that money. Okay.
00:12:40.68\00:12:43.47
So she now has a value
00:12:43.50\00:12:46.17
on what that first
kiss is from our family.
00:12:46.20\00:12:48.65
So help me real quickly
because there's somebody
00:12:48.68\00:12:50.77
that's watching right now.
00:12:50.80\00:12:52.02
Let's say, boy, I
wish I can do that,
00:12:52.05\00:12:53.77
I don't have
enough money to make that.
00:12:53.80\00:12:56.32
How can I put
that same kind of--
00:12:56.35\00:12:58.35
Wel,l there other
ways of doing that.
00:12:58.38\00:12:59.41
I saw a--read an article.
My daughter gave me an article.
00:12:59.44\00:13:01.07
She loves purity. She
thinks it's a great thing.
00:13:01.10\00:13:03.46
Gave me and article
where the couple gave the girl
00:13:03.49\00:13:06.35
a bracelet with
about six different stones.
00:13:06.38\00:13:07.94
One was for the first
time kiss, first time this,
00:13:07.97\00:13:10.49
first time that all
the way to marriage.
00:13:10.52\00:13:12.53
And the story went like
this that the girls had to give,
00:13:12.56\00:13:16.10
take the stone
out of the bracelet
00:13:16.13\00:13:18.69
and give it to the
boy that she had the first
00:13:18.72\00:13:22.22
whatever with which
would ruin the bracelet.
00:13:22.25\00:13:25.51
So she started thinking I
don't want to ruin my bracelet
00:13:25.54\00:13:27.74
for this little
kiss thing, you know.
00:13:27.77\00:13:29.83
So I am going to wait,
you know. So there are ways.
00:13:29.86\00:13:32.03
There's other creative ways
of thinking through this, okay.
00:13:32.06\00:13:34.12
It's doesn't be just money
00:13:34.15\00:13:35.42
but that is very
powerful to teens. Yes.
00:13:35.45\00:13:38.06
Let's face it, they like to
have little extra resources.
00:13:38.09\00:13:40.73
And so whatever you come up with
00:13:40.76\00:13:42.44
but they need to
buy into the process.
00:13:42.47\00:13:45.51
You know, if you just
you coming down on them
00:13:45.54\00:13:47.12
that probably doesn't work.
00:13:47.15\00:13:48.67
You can say here's our
values, what do you think,
00:13:48.70\00:13:51.36
where do you
want to go with this?
00:13:51.39\00:13:52.60
You can't control your
kid's purity, you can't.
00:13:52.63\00:13:55.88
You wish you can.
00:13:55.91\00:13:57.35
All parents fear it
but you can't control it.
00:13:57.38\00:14:00.67
So but you can
work together on it.
00:14:00.70\00:14:02.30
Say listen, how do
you want to do this?
00:14:02.33\00:14:04.33
And you know my children have
been exposed to some information
00:14:04.36\00:14:06.68
that other children haven't
yet but you can teach them.
00:14:06.71\00:14:10.21
Listen, this is what
the enemy wants to do,
00:14:10.24\00:14:12.50
this is what God
wants to do with you
00:14:12.53\00:14:14.12
and this purity peace right here
00:14:14.15\00:14:16.55
is gonna be factor
in all of your life.
00:14:16.58\00:14:19.67
So how do you want to do that?
00:14:19.70\00:14:21.47
You know, Malachi, I believe
that's Malachi Chapter 2.
00:14:21.50\00:14:25.00
You see my Bible
that's falling apart.
00:14:25.03\00:14:26.93
This is a scripture that
I share with you sometimes
00:14:26.96\00:14:30.06
is that one of the reason
that God wants us to be pure
00:14:30.09\00:14:35.73
is that He's
looking for Godly offspring.
00:14:35.76\00:14:39.22
Absolutely. You
know, He says here.
00:14:39.25\00:14:41.60
Some people, when
I've counsel with youth
00:14:41.63\00:14:44.58
who actually somehow some--
00:14:44.61\00:14:47.41
they weren't in church or
their parents didn't talk about
00:14:47.44\00:14:50.12
and they didn't realize
that it was important to God.
00:14:50.15\00:14:52.64
But He says in Malachi 2:15,
00:14:52.67\00:14:54.53
He says, talking to
the husband and wife,
00:14:54.56\00:14:56.56
"Did God not he make one?
00:14:56.59\00:14:58.89
And why did he make you one
and preserve your spirit alive
00:14:58.92\00:15:02.85
so that--" It says,
"Why did he make you one
00:15:02.88\00:15:06.47
because He sought a godly
offspring from your union.
00:15:06.50\00:15:10.69
Therefore take heed
to your spirit." Totally.
00:15:10.72\00:15:13.02
And one thing that you said is
that this study that they did,
00:15:13.05\00:15:18.91
this Redbook showed that
women who had multiple partners
00:15:18.94\00:15:23.31
before marrying came in
with unhealthy attitudes
00:15:23.34\00:15:28.33
about sexuality
and about intimacy
00:15:28.36\00:15:32.29
and so they were
dissatisfied in their marriage.
00:15:32.32\00:15:35.43
You've said that
what scientifically
00:15:35.46\00:15:38.68
and biologically
speaking, it's been proven
00:15:38.71\00:15:40.96
that anything that you--
00:15:40.99\00:15:42.93
if a young man is
using pornography.
00:15:42.96\00:15:47.46
He's going to damage
himself. He is damage his brain.
00:15:47.49\00:15:50.58
So there are setting everything
that they do before marriage--
00:15:50.61\00:15:53.54
God isn't just
sitting there and telling you,
00:15:53.57\00:15:56.19
I am putting these
boundaries around you.
00:15:56.22\00:15:58.10
These are just rules and
regulations and it's not--
00:15:58.13\00:16:01.43
we always give
these talks bout like STD,
00:16:01.46\00:16:04.25
the sexually transmitted disease
00:16:04.28\00:16:06.76
and we put these little
fear factors here on them
00:16:06.79\00:16:09.59
and kids think
they are absolutely--
00:16:09.62\00:16:13.29
That's not going
to happen to them
00:16:13.32\00:16:14.35
because that's developmentally
00:16:14.38\00:16:15.84
and unless you don't think these
going to happen to you. Yeah.
00:16:15.87\00:16:17.48
That's why they drive fast
and do all that kind of stuff.
00:16:17.51\00:16:19.47
So that's not the best deterrent
00:16:19.50\00:16:21.65
but if they understand
that the type of thing activity
00:16:21.68\00:16:25.37
that they are becoming
involved in before marriage
00:16:25.40\00:16:28.06
could ruin their marriage,
could ruin for generations.
00:16:28.09\00:16:32.16
Several things.
00:16:32.19\00:16:33.22
The way things
are going on that's--
00:16:33.25\00:16:34.91
And the thing is here
is that, Shelly, that the--
00:16:34.94\00:16:37.32
the brain doesn't
fully develop till 21. Boy.
00:16:37.35\00:16:41.47
So that's why the
enemy tries to get them
00:16:41.50\00:16:42.79
when they are 14, 15 and 16
00:16:42.82\00:16:44.54
because it actually goes
into the developing brain.
00:16:44.57\00:16:47.97
This isn't a fully
mature brain, okay.
00:16:48.00\00:16:51.22
So now these inroads
00:16:51.25\00:16:52.66
are actually in the
developmental process
00:16:52.69\00:16:56.09
and they get hooked in there.
00:16:56.12\00:16:57.41
So this is very important
for teens to understand.
00:16:57.44\00:17:01.05
Parents, it's
very important for you
00:17:01.08\00:17:02.14
to get more information on this
00:17:02.17\00:17:03.75
to shepherd your
children to this process.
00:17:03.78\00:17:06.30
We have a DVD called
"Shepherding Your Sons"
00:17:06.33\00:17:09.07
because men need
to walk through men
00:17:09.10\00:17:10.91
through that whole
period from 14 to 24
00:17:10.94\00:17:13.69
or until they get married.
00:17:13.72\00:17:15.31
And shepherd them,
not just a little--
00:17:15.34\00:17:17.47
we had our talk,
that one minute talk.
00:17:17.50\00:17:20.73
This is the most
powerful thing God has given
00:17:20.76\00:17:22.66
to your son and to
your daughter, okay.
00:17:22.69\00:17:25.03
It needs more than a
one minute talk, okay.
00:17:25.06\00:17:28.42
And it needs to be shepherded
over that period of time
00:17:28.45\00:17:31.10
and have honest dialogue.
00:17:31.13\00:17:32.58
Of course you got to get rid
00:17:32.61\00:17:33.64
of your own shame
and stuff like that.
00:17:33.67\00:17:35.33
And one other thing you
know, when I do talk to kids
00:17:35.36\00:17:37.61
because a lot
kids have made mistakes
00:17:37.64\00:17:41.05
and you can have
faith in your mistakes
00:17:41.08\00:17:43.86
or you can have faith
in Christ and His blood.
00:17:43.89\00:17:46.23
And I tell kids
all time, listen,
00:17:46.26\00:17:47.76
the blood is more
powerful than all of your sins,
00:17:47.79\00:17:49.87
all of your family's
sins, city sins, state sins,
00:17:49.90\00:17:52.21
nation sins, all
nations of the world sins,
00:17:52.24\00:17:54.81
all nation of the world of all
time, past, present and future
00:17:54.84\00:17:57.79
that's how
powerful the blood is.
00:17:57.82\00:17:59.41
Your little sin didn't
put a scar in the blood.
00:17:59.44\00:18:02.37
Right. It's still good.
00:18:02.40\00:18:03.81
The blood is still
good. You are forgiven.
00:18:03.84\00:18:06.38
He can still cleanse you.
00:18:06.41\00:18:07.50
I was a mess as
an out of lesson.
00:18:07.53\00:18:09.52
I didn't come towards Lord till
I was about 19 really as Lord.
00:18:09.55\00:18:12.55
I made lots of mistakes
and He has covered those.
00:18:12.58\00:18:15.50
And I had to
work through some pain
00:18:15.53\00:18:17.13
and it caused an
addiction for me.
00:18:17.16\00:18:19.66
It cost several
things with that to clean up
00:18:19.69\00:18:21.54
and it took years
to clean that mess up.
00:18:21.57\00:18:23.98
So what I am hoping is,
is that teens are listening
00:18:24.01\00:18:28.29
so I don't want
to go down that road.
00:18:28.32\00:18:29.79
And it's
actually what's happening.
00:18:29.82\00:18:30.85
I think I am looking at
our '60s, '70s generation
00:18:30.88\00:18:33.39
and when gosh, you
guys can't stay married,
00:18:33.42\00:18:35.32
you can't handle your money,
you can't figure out life,
00:18:35.35\00:18:37.82
you can't you
know, you can't do life.
00:18:37.85\00:18:39.64
What's the problem?
00:18:39.67\00:18:40.79
So we don't want
to go down that road.
00:18:40.82\00:18:42.77
So we're not gonna you
know, get ourselves into
00:18:42.80\00:18:44.83
just do what you want,
love the one you are with.
00:18:44.86\00:18:46.44
That's nonsense.
00:18:46.47\00:18:47.77
We are waiting
for the right person.
00:18:47.80\00:18:49.87
We are waiting to be married.
00:18:49.90\00:18:51.16
And there is this
whole absence moment
00:18:51.19\00:18:53.19
that's really been
healthy, which is great.
00:18:53.22\00:18:55.39
I'm really proud of those
people who are doing that. Amen.
00:18:55.42\00:18:58.07
And we had-- we know
there are several couples
00:18:58.10\00:18:59.76
who work here at 3ABN who
never kissed till the day--
00:18:59.79\00:19:04.61
until the
moment they said, I do.
00:19:04.64\00:19:06.19
That was their
first kiss. Right.
00:19:06.22\00:19:07.81
And they are the
happiest and cutest couples.
00:19:07.84\00:19:10.22
I mean, it's precious.
00:19:10.25\00:19:11.58
Now one thing that we don't want
to discourage anyone as you said
00:19:11.61\00:19:16.10
the Bible tells us in 1
John 1:9 that if we have sinned
00:19:16.13\00:19:20.66
and if we confess our
sin that He is faithful
00:19:20.69\00:19:22.99
and just to
forgive us of our sins
00:19:23.02\00:19:24.82
and cleanses us of
all unrighteousness.
00:19:24.85\00:19:27.57
So you can be
restored but I am thinking
00:19:27.60\00:19:31.94
and is there a practical
way you've mentioned before
00:19:31.97\00:19:35.74
that there's great filters for--
00:19:35.77\00:19:38.87
You defiantly want
to block the internet.
00:19:38.90\00:19:40.68
You want to block the internet
on your home computer, okay.
00:19:40.71\00:19:44.53
And there's plenty
of those out there.
00:19:44.56\00:19:47.20
And also, Shelly,
what we need to do is
00:19:47.23\00:19:48.77
deactivate the internet
access on our kid's phones.
00:19:48.80\00:19:52.18
One of the most
infiltrating ways
00:19:52.21\00:19:54.64
kids are
getting into pornography
00:19:54.67\00:19:55.93
is through the telephone,
going on the internet.
00:19:55.96\00:19:58.69
Kids are swapping phones,
00:19:58.72\00:19:59.98
they are taking pictures
doing inappropriate things.
00:20:00.01\00:20:02.06
This can't
happen if you don't have
00:20:02.09\00:20:04.21
internet access on
your child's phone. So--
00:20:04.24\00:20:06.95
Never had stopped so you say
that by giving them these phones
00:20:06.98\00:20:09.81
that kids could actually
be in schools and watching--
00:20:09.84\00:20:12.66
You are giving them a porn store
00:20:12.69\00:20:13.81
if you don't block the
internet access on there.
00:20:13.84\00:20:16.00
Okay. Mercy.
00:20:16.03\00:20:17.13
And this is very, very
common of what's going on.
00:20:17.16\00:20:20.14
So we are in a different culture
00:20:20.17\00:20:21.80
and parents aren't as
informed as our kids are.
00:20:21.83\00:20:24.13
You know what I am saying? Yes.
00:20:24.16\00:20:25.23
And so it's time
to educate ourselves
00:20:25.26\00:20:27.00
and you know, parents, I
just would say to you know,
00:20:27.03\00:20:29.28
look at what you've already told
00:20:29.31\00:20:31.87
you know, your
son or your daughter
00:20:31.90\00:20:34.06
and see if that's adequate
for the generation they are in,
00:20:34.09\00:20:37.29
not the generation you are in.
00:20:37.32\00:20:39.48
Just saying no,
isn't going to do anymore.
00:20:39.51\00:20:41.86
They need to
know the body facts,
00:20:41.89\00:20:43.87
they need to know the science
00:20:43.90\00:20:45.36
behind what you
are telling them to do.
00:20:45.39\00:20:46.88
And then they tend
to make better choices
00:20:46.91\00:20:48.56
because their generation
that likes to be informed.
00:20:48.59\00:20:52.01
So give them the
information they need to be
00:20:52.04\00:20:54.17
as good of godly
young people they can be.
00:20:54.20\00:20:57.00
It's so important
that parents look at this
00:20:57.03\00:20:58.61
as their
responsibility as a parent
00:20:58.65\00:21:02.08
to make sure this
area is taken care of.
00:21:02.11\00:21:04.53
Too long we've been
silent in the church
00:21:04.56\00:21:06.31
and too long we've
been silent as parents
00:21:06.34\00:21:08.04
and in this now
in a critical state.
00:21:08.07\00:21:10.19
You know, I
believe very strongly
00:21:10.22\00:21:12.15
that modesty of
dress is something
00:21:12.18\00:21:14.25
very important
that we teach our youth.
00:21:14.28\00:21:17.49
But it's again,
this is science. Okay.
00:21:17.52\00:21:19.38
I draw the brain along these
00:21:19.41\00:21:21.02
and it show, okay, now if a guy
who is looking at pornography
00:21:21.05\00:21:22.76
he's already got this
neural image towards that.
00:21:22.79\00:21:25.48
So the closer you dress to that
00:21:25.51\00:21:28.70
you will attract the
sickest guys in the church
00:21:28.73\00:21:31.59
and in the school and
in your neighborhood to you
00:21:31.62\00:21:35.04
because those
brains will be attracted.
00:21:35.07\00:21:37.37
So what I tell Lisa listen,
if you want to be someone
00:21:37.40\00:21:40.76
who is more safe and
picking healthier guys
00:21:40.79\00:21:43.26
dress in such a
way that your shape
00:21:43.29\00:21:46.19
of your top or your
bottom isn't so obvious. Yes.
00:21:46.22\00:21:51.04
Do you know what I am saying?
00:21:51.07\00:21:52.12
And if you are, you
know, jumping around.
00:21:52.15\00:21:53.87
That's, you dressed appropriate
00:21:53.90\00:21:55.66
so that you are not drawing
that negative attention to you.
00:21:55.69\00:22:00.31
Let someone else
get the sick guys.
00:22:00.34\00:22:02.00
That's good. Do you
know what I am saying?
00:22:02.03\00:22:03.69
And I want to tell this
story before we end today
00:22:03.72\00:22:06.73
is you know, when I was in
high school I wasn't saved.
00:22:06.76\00:22:08.94
And I was really,
sadly making bad choices
00:22:08.97\00:22:12.40
in this area of my life, okay.
00:22:12.43\00:22:14.47
And there was a girl I dated,
her name was Alisa Cromer.
00:22:14.50\00:22:19.48
Now of all the people
I was inappropriate with,
00:22:19.51\00:22:21.74
I don't remember their names.
00:22:21.77\00:22:24.40
I don't remember who they were,
00:22:24.43\00:22:25.97
what we did all but I
can tell you about Alisa.
00:22:26.00\00:22:28.86
Because you never had any--
00:22:28.89\00:22:30.30
I never was
inappropriate with her.
00:22:30.33\00:22:31.37
She wouldn't let me, she was
actually Christian and I wasn't.
00:22:31.40\00:22:33.67
I think she's actually
part where I got saved.
00:22:33.70\00:22:35.75
I think she prayed me
in, you know. Praise God.
00:22:35.78\00:22:37.90
But she was pure,
she would try to had me
00:22:37.93\00:22:40.02
listen to
Christian music and you know,
00:22:40.05\00:22:41.88
and she just wouldn't
go anywhere there. Right.
00:22:41.91\00:22:45.16
And she actually
just broke up with me
00:22:45.19\00:22:46.56
because like you
know, Doug, this is not--
00:22:46.59\00:22:48.01
that's not means where
I am going and, you know.
00:22:48.04\00:22:49.89
But see, I remember
her because she had purity.
00:22:49.92\00:22:55.24
She was special. Yeah.
00:22:55.27\00:22:57.05
And so I tell girls
all the time, listen,
00:22:57.08\00:22:58.98
if you want to
really be remembered
00:22:59.01\00:23:00.88
be the one who doesn't. Amen.
00:23:00.91\00:23:04.01
You now, because
that person you know,
00:23:04.04\00:23:05.84
you could still be friends
25 years down the road. Right.
00:23:05.87\00:23:09.03
You see, other people,
you can't hang with them all
00:23:09.06\00:23:10.83
because your spouse will think,
no, these guys were there,
00:23:10.86\00:23:13.40
you can't so that, you know.
00:23:13.43\00:23:15.02
And so be the
one who's remembered
00:23:15.05\00:23:17.21
not only by people you date
but be one that God looks down
00:23:17.24\00:23:21.47
and goes, wow, that
person I can trust. Amen.
00:23:21.50\00:23:27.34
Because you see,
this is an exciting thing
00:23:27.37\00:23:29.27
and we will hop
just a little bit
00:23:29.30\00:23:30.77
but a lot of Christians get
excited when they can trust God.
00:23:30.80\00:23:35.44
Okay, now for me
that's a no greater.
00:23:35.47\00:23:37.40
He's trustworthy.
00:23:37.43\00:23:38.68
He's faithful,
He has died for us,
00:23:38.71\00:23:40.01
He rose from dead, He
is gloriously responsible.
00:23:40.04\00:23:42.28
Do you know what I am saying?
00:23:42.31\00:23:43.34
So to trusting someone
who is gloriously responsible
00:23:43.37\00:23:44.78
isn't exactly a big leap.
00:23:44.81\00:23:47.53
It is for some
but I see your point.
00:23:47.56\00:23:49.22
It is for some,
it is for some. Yeah.
00:23:49.25\00:23:50.76
Well, what's
exciting for me or what I see
00:23:50.79\00:23:52.80
when the Christian
walk becomes exciting
00:23:52.83\00:23:54.48
is when God
decides to trust you.
00:23:54.51\00:23:56.93
And you proven that
you are walking in a manner
00:23:56.96\00:23:59.64
worthy of your
calling and He can trust you.
00:23:59.67\00:24:01.59
He says, you know
what, I can trust this boy,
00:24:01.62\00:24:03.18
I can trust this young
lady and I can give them this.
00:24:03.21\00:24:06.55
You see, what I am saying?
00:24:06.58\00:24:08.71
I can give then
this and trust them.
00:24:08.74\00:24:10.12
And so we want
our purity in place
00:24:10.15\00:24:12.05
where God can look at us
and He can go, well done. Amen.
00:24:12.08\00:24:15.34
Well done good
and faithful servant
00:24:15.37\00:24:17.42
and I am gonna give
you this blessing. Amen.
00:24:17.45\00:24:20.28
You know you had spoken
about one thing that I--
00:24:20.31\00:24:23.51
when we said that we'd
like to do this program,
00:24:23.54\00:24:25.37
I haven't thought
about the singles agains.
00:24:25.40\00:24:27.25
We only have a
couple of minutes.
00:24:27.28\00:24:28.85
For someone who has been
perhaps widowed, maybe divorced
00:24:28.88\00:24:34.99
and they have known physical
intimacy with their spouse
00:24:35.02\00:24:40.71
and now they are
single again there must be
00:24:40.74\00:24:44.68
probably even more
special challenges for them.
00:24:44.71\00:24:47.84
There is more challenges
and that's why they need
00:24:47.87\00:24:49.49
a little bit more
boundaries, little more safety
00:24:49.52\00:24:51.29
and a little bit
more from the church
00:24:51.32\00:24:52.61
to provide that safety.
00:24:52.64\00:24:55.13
And to give those young
women and young man or you know,
00:24:55.16\00:24:57.81
sometimes they are young
at 40 and 50 and 60, okay.
00:24:57.84\00:25:00.54
And say, you know what,
00:25:00.57\00:25:01.65
we are going to walk with you
00:25:01.68\00:25:02.71
through this
together, not alone. Right.
00:25:02.74\00:25:06.00
Because alone they are
going to make those bad choices
00:25:06.03\00:25:08.87
and stay up late and do
things and kind of isolates
00:25:08.90\00:25:11.66
just like they did
when they were teenagers.
00:25:11.69\00:25:13.26
That single again
group is very parallel
00:25:13.29\00:25:15.91
to that 15 to 22 group.
00:25:15.94\00:25:18.40
They want to isolate, get alone
00:25:18.43\00:25:19.99
and have
accidents and do things.
00:25:20.02\00:25:21.66
And you got to kind
of be careful with that.
00:25:21.69\00:25:23.79
And they get really offended
when you are honest with them
00:25:23.82\00:25:26.16
about what they are doing
00:25:26.19\00:25:27.31
but we need to be involved.
00:25:27.34\00:25:29.76
You know, this you are saying,
00:25:29.79\00:25:32.52
I am going to reduce
it to three simple words
00:25:32.55\00:25:34.32
or four, plan to be pure.
00:25:34.35\00:25:36.68
And so you mention
on several occasions
00:25:36.71\00:25:39.36
now this isolation, if
you are planning to be pure
00:25:39.39\00:25:42.41
you can't go off
with the opposite sex
00:25:42.44\00:25:46.88
and be alone in
a secluded place--
00:25:46.91\00:25:50.07
And expect good
things to happen.
00:25:50.10\00:25:51.13
And expect good
things to happen.
00:25:51.16\00:25:52.73
Okay. Yeah.
00:25:52.76\00:25:53.79
You got to use this
thing that God gave you, okay.
00:25:53.82\00:25:56.37
And see, I tell men--
00:25:56.40\00:25:58.60
now this is a man
talk here but I tell men,
00:25:58.63\00:26:00.99
listen, men are called
to protect women, okay.
00:26:01.02\00:26:04.91
and if you are dating a
women the first responsibility
00:26:04.94\00:26:07.72
you have is to
protect her from you.
00:26:07.75\00:26:10.13
You are
dangerous, you are lethal,
00:26:10.16\00:26:11.79
you've got all
this energy of hormones.
00:26:11.82\00:26:13.74
You are a lion in a cage, okay.
00:26:13.77\00:26:16.83
you have got to make
sure you protect her from you.
00:26:16.86\00:26:20.14
If you protect her from you,
00:26:20.17\00:26:22.06
she will know that
you'll protect her from others.
00:26:22.09\00:26:24.44
Oh, that's wonderful.
That's excellent advice.
00:26:24.47\00:26:25.62
Do you know what I am saying?
00:26:25.65\00:26:26.98
And the guys get, they go,
00:26:27.01\00:26:28.19
oh, I never thought
about protecting her from me.
00:26:28.22\00:26:30.90
You are right, I am a bare man,
00:26:30.93\00:26:32.71
I need to protect her from me.
00:26:32.74\00:26:34.82
So then you have
curfews, you have boundaries,
00:26:34.85\00:26:37.08
you won't go
certain places alone
00:26:37.11\00:26:39.13
or be alone in
each other's apartment
00:26:39.16\00:26:41.05
or dorm room or stuff like that
00:26:41.08\00:26:42.41
because like you know, honey,
I got to protect you from me.
00:26:42.44\00:26:45.00
You are really too attractive.
00:26:45.03\00:26:46.51
If I get you alone,
I may think improperly.
00:26:46.54\00:26:48.81
So let me keep you
in a public contact
00:26:48.84\00:26:50.28
so that we can both be safe.
00:26:50.31\00:26:51.77
That's
beautiful. That's wonderful.
00:26:51.80\00:26:53.83
Well, I really, sincerely
appreciate you coming back
00:26:53.86\00:26:57.36
and talking to
us about this. Sure.
00:26:57.39\00:26:58.70
Because I think this is
such an important topic.
00:26:58.73\00:27:01.36
And I never really-- I
knew the devil was trying,
00:27:01.39\00:27:04.16
you know, the-- he's
trying to destroy our youth
00:27:04.19\00:27:08.80
but I never
stopped to think he's--
00:27:08.83\00:27:11.04
what the ultimate purpose
00:27:11.07\00:27:12.18
is to rob them of
their spiritual authority
00:27:12.21\00:27:14.44
Yeah, because if he can
do that in this generation
00:27:14.47\00:27:16.23
America will become a lot
more secularized like Europe
00:27:16.26\00:27:20.52
and that's the end goal
00:27:20.55\00:27:21.94
of all this sexual
onslaught in America.
00:27:21.97\00:27:24.41
And it's not-- I
mean, I know we've got
00:27:24.44\00:27:25.83
viewers from
around the world watching
00:27:25.86\00:27:27.49
and it's happening
pretty much everywhere.
00:27:27.52\00:27:30.68
Dr. Douglas Wise, thank you
so much for joining us today.
00:27:30.71\00:27:32.73
It's good to be
here, Shelly, thank you.
00:27:32.76\00:27:34.27
I hope that you've
learned something today
00:27:34.30\00:27:36.78
that you can share
with the youth in your life
00:27:36.81\00:27:39.10
or the single again
but this is something
00:27:39.13\00:27:41.83
that we know this is
God's will is for our purity.
00:27:41.86\00:27:46.01
And it doesn't matter
whether you are a married couple
00:27:46.04\00:27:48.40
and remaining in your
thought process of spirit
00:27:48.43\00:27:51.31
or if you are single.
00:27:51.34\00:27:52.71
Just practice God's
plan. Plan to be pure.
00:27:52.74\00:27:55.76