Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn 00:00:30.55\00:00:31.87 and welcome to Issues and Answers. 00:00:31.90\00:00:33.37 Today is a hot topic and you're going to want to stay tuned 00:00:33.40\00:00:37.12 whether you are a parent or grandparent, 00:00:37.15\00:00:40.44 maybe an unmarried young single. 00:00:40.47\00:00:43.39 We are going to be talking today about sexual purity. 00:00:43.42\00:00:47.67 And if you are a teenager please stay tuned 00:00:47.70\00:00:49.80 because you are gonna hear something different 00:00:49.83\00:00:51.32 than you probably ever heard in your life before. 00:00:51.35\00:00:54.27 You know Paul wrote to the Corinthians 00:00:54.30\00:00:56.13 and we are all familiar with the scripture. 00:00:56.16\00:00:57.94 1 Corinthians 6:18, his advice was 00:00:57.97\00:01:01.53 "Shun immorality and all sexual looseness." 00:01:01.56\00:01:04.88 He's saying flee from the impurity 00:01:04.91\00:01:06.68 whether it's in word, thought, action or deed. 00:01:06.71\00:01:09.74 And he said, "Any other sin which a man commits 00:01:09.77\00:01:12.08 is one outside the body, but he who commits 00:01:12.11\00:01:15.85 sexual immorality sins against his own body." 00:01:15.88\00:01:20.31 Why does the Lord tell us to be sexually pure? 00:01:20.34\00:01:25.43 Well, we need to be able to explain this to our youth 00:01:25.46\00:01:28.76 in such a way that they will understand 00:01:28.79\00:01:32.13 that there are-- there's science behind it. 00:01:32.16\00:01:34.43 There is many good reasons. 00:01:34.46\00:01:36.65 And here joining us again today is Dr. Douglas Weiss. 00:01:36.68\00:01:40.84 Doug, you are getting ready to go talk 00:01:40.87\00:01:42.78 and with the whole group of teens about this, aren't you? 00:01:42.81\00:01:46.04 Yes, ma'am. We love doing that. 00:01:46.07\00:01:47.34 Yeah. And when you are physiologist. 00:01:47.37\00:01:50.39 Yes. You have Heart to Heart-- 00:01:50.42\00:01:53.48 Counseling centers in Colorado Springs. 00:01:53.51\00:01:54.98 Counseling centers in Colorado Springs, 00:01:55.01\00:01:56.21 written 20 books. 00:01:56.24\00:01:57.63 Why you like to talk to kids about sexual purity? 00:01:57.66\00:02:01.01 Well, one of the things we specialize is the back end 00:02:01.04\00:02:03.67 where people have sexual addictions. 00:02:03.70\00:02:05.41 And so what we want to do is to stop that 00:02:05.44\00:02:07.22 from happening to began with. 00:02:07.25\00:02:08.41 Amen, and we see that the devil is coming 00:02:08.44\00:02:11.51 at our children from every direction. 00:02:11.54\00:02:13.72 Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. 00:02:13.75\00:02:14.93 Every form of media, magazines, television, the internet, 00:02:14.96\00:02:18.73 now its even on their phones, 00:02:18.76\00:02:20.08 its in the homes, without blocking it 00:02:20.11\00:02:22.03 the children get really into serious trouble. 00:02:22.06\00:02:24.11 But the enemy is after something very specific 00:02:24.14\00:02:27.20 and that's in Revelation 2-20. Okay? 00:02:27.23\00:02:29.76 This women Jezebel is teaching people in the church 00:02:29.79\00:02:32.93 so they can be immortal and be Christians. 00:02:32.96\00:02:35.02 And God says, I give her time to repent, 00:02:35.05\00:02:37.61 she won't repent, I am gonna strike her children dead. 00:02:37.64\00:02:41.16 I am going to deal with those who do this. 00:02:41.19\00:02:42.75 But in verse 26 He gets into a whole crux of this. 00:02:42.78\00:02:45.59 He says, to him or her who overcomes 00:02:45.62\00:02:49.49 this doctrine of sexual morality and Christianity, 00:02:49.52\00:02:52.42 he trying to mix the two. 00:02:52.45\00:02:53.62 If you overcome that doctrine I will, 00:02:53.65\00:02:56.54 and God always keeps His word. 00:02:56.57\00:02:58.20 I will give you authority over the nations. 00:02:58.23\00:03:01.85 All right, now-- And so, no. 00:03:01.88\00:03:03.02 Let me stop, what we were talking about is, 00:03:03.05\00:03:04.68 your sexual purity and your spiritual authority 00:03:04.71\00:03:08.78 are inter connected 00:03:08.81\00:03:11.02 and the enemy has always knows this. 00:03:11.05\00:03:13.07 If you can get a country or a group of people immoral 00:03:13.10\00:03:17.82 then God has a discipline because he's just. 00:03:17.85\00:03:21.49 Do you see what I am saying? Yes. 00:03:21.52\00:03:22.66 And so he's after our children's spiritual authority. 00:03:22.69\00:03:26.06 That's what this game is really about, 00:03:26.09\00:03:28.18 to give then shame and secrecy 00:03:28.21\00:03:30.05 and so they don't pick up their spiritual swords 00:03:30.08\00:03:31.88 and charge their generation with the gospel. 00:03:31.91\00:03:35.08 And this is something that you know, 00:03:35.11\00:03:39.32 during our day at the I love Lucy and-- 00:03:39.35\00:03:41.91 Right, right, right. 00:03:41.94\00:03:43.87 We kind of understood that as a Christian, 00:03:43.90\00:03:47.81 I mean, it was not kind of it 00:03:47.84\00:03:49.25 used to be preached all the time about sexual purity. 00:03:49.28\00:03:52.34 And this was something that we accepted 00:03:52.37\00:03:54.56 but weren't bombarded on every front. 00:03:54.59\00:03:59.80 Young people today have a much greater problem 00:03:59.83\00:04:03.92 because it is being presented as, this is the norm. 00:04:03.95\00:04:08.02 You are not natural if you don't. 00:04:08.05\00:04:10.17 Well, purity is actually about 00:04:10.20\00:04:11.92 50% of kidsare staying sexually pure 00:04:11.95\00:04:14.80 but we want more, especially more in the Christian faith. 00:04:14.83\00:04:17.24 We are--we've all known teen girls 00:04:17.27\00:04:20.16 who raise in Christian homes, 00:04:20.19\00:04:21.24 who had issues and young man as well. 00:04:21.27\00:04:23.83 And the scripture you use was interesting 00:04:23.86\00:04:25.60 because that's the scripture 00:04:25.63\00:04:26.77 and we are gonna take to teach teenagers about this 00:04:26.80\00:04:28.83 because the way that we are wired physically, okay, 00:04:28.86\00:04:32.70 is that when we do participate in that behavior 00:04:32.73\00:04:35.15 we get the highest level of endorphins and enkephalins 00:04:35.18\00:04:37.30 the brain chemicals hits the excitement center of your brain 00:04:37.33\00:04:40.13 and you literally glue to whatever is in your vision. 00:04:40.16\00:04:43.29 So that's that the pornography industry is so powerful 00:04:43.32\00:04:45.99 because young men will glue to that 00:04:46.02\00:04:47.86 and create an appetite for that. 00:04:47.89\00:04:49.45 James calls that lust then sin then death. 00:04:49.48\00:04:51.71 You know, put us down that path. 00:04:51.74\00:04:53.41 But young people don't know that if they do that, 00:04:53.44\00:04:55.35 they are actually setting up neuropath way of enforcement 00:04:55.38\00:04:57.86 and that's what it's taking about. 00:04:57.89\00:04:58.95 We are sending this through our body. 00:04:58.98\00:05:00.73 That Greek word body actually means body, okay. 00:05:00.76\00:05:04.75 You are actually gluing yourself to something 00:05:04.78\00:05:07.00 that you shouldn't be gluing to, okay. 00:05:07.03\00:05:09.86 So this is-- And that really, really hurts. 00:05:09.89\00:05:10.96 This is biological scientific that it's not just something 00:05:10.99\00:05:14.80 that you can look at then dismiss. 00:05:14.83\00:05:18.47 You get into it and your mind is glued to it. 00:05:18.50\00:05:21.59 So you are gonna bring all of this baggage, 00:05:21.62\00:05:23.63 this sin even if you repented of the sin 00:05:23.66\00:05:26.18 you've got something now going on 00:05:26.21\00:05:29.11 and it comes into the marriage. 00:05:29.14\00:05:30.25 And it can take you into 00:05:30.28\00:05:31.40 all kinds of stuff as an adult, okay. 00:05:31.43\00:05:33.67 And you know, they did a Redbook to the study 00:05:33.70\00:05:35.64 and I think they found results kind of 00:05:35.67\00:05:37.83 not what they were looking for 00:05:37.86\00:05:39.30 but they did a study of women, 500,000 women, 00:05:39.33\00:05:42.99 that's bigger than the town we are in, okay. 00:05:43.02\00:05:44.96 Yeah. 500,000 women answered the survey 00:05:44.99\00:05:47.27 and they found that women who had started earlier, 00:05:47.30\00:05:50.94 had more partners had the lowest 00:05:50.97\00:05:53.82 physical satisfaction in their marriage. 00:05:53.85\00:05:57.98 That didn't surprise me though. 00:05:58.01\00:05:59.31 So young people, you want to stay pure, 00:05:59.34\00:06:01.90 you want to have really good boundaries around this. 00:06:01.93\00:06:04.36 This is really, really critical 00:06:04.39\00:06:06.00 because if you don't then you'll get in trouble. 00:06:06.03\00:06:07.47 See, the enemy wants to hurt, God wants to heal 00:06:07.50\00:06:09.78 and He wants us to have purity 00:06:09.81\00:06:11.10 because see with purity comes spiritual authority. 00:06:11.13\00:06:13.29 We can go through this with scripture, okay. 00:06:13.32\00:06:15.85 The strongest man in the world 00:06:15.88\00:06:17.49 was taken down by a immorality, that's Samson. 00:06:17.52\00:06:20.08 The wisest man under Jesus was Solomon. 00:06:20.11\00:06:22.28 He was taken down at the end of his life 00:06:22.31\00:06:23.67 through all the women he got involved with 00:06:23.70\00:06:26.61 and adultery in there. 00:06:26.64\00:06:30.88 And then so the-- we know it can impact you. 00:06:30.91\00:06:34.22 Then we can look at people who didn't involve, okay. 00:06:34.25\00:06:37.73 We don't see Moses falling. 00:06:37.76\00:06:40.73 We don't see Joshua falling. 00:06:40.76\00:06:43.07 We don't see Joseph 00:06:43.10\00:06:44.42 who was really tempted to fall by his master's wife. 00:06:44.45\00:06:48.80 Didn't fall and God made him 00:06:48.83\00:06:50.16 the second most powerful man in the world 00:06:50.19\00:06:52.75 but his purity had he given it up 00:06:52.78\00:06:55.41 he will lost his position. Amen. 00:06:55.44\00:06:57.36 Do you see what I am saying? 00:06:57.39\00:06:58.42 So purity and position, 00:06:58.45\00:06:59.70 purity and authority are connected. 00:06:59.73\00:07:01.16 So young people, I always say 00:07:01.19\00:07:02.63 if God has a call in your life and really want to see 00:07:02.66\00:07:05.65 that nation had changed and gospel promoted 00:07:05.68\00:07:07.89 and you want to see Jesus Christ show up in your life 00:07:07.92\00:07:10.35 your purity is really critical. 00:07:10.38\00:07:12.20 Not that God will be merciful 00:07:12.23\00:07:13.57 if you make mistakes or stuff like that. 00:07:13.60\00:07:15.38 And the blood is more powerful than any of our sins, okay, 00:07:15.41\00:07:18.01 we know that. 00:07:18.04\00:07:19.07 But there is a correlation between purity and position. 00:07:19.10\00:07:21.55 Aren't we glad that Mary stayed a virgin? Amen. 00:07:21.58\00:07:24.38 Aren't we glad that Jesus stayed sexually pure? 00:07:24.41\00:07:27.66 Amen. Yes. Okay. 00:07:27.69\00:07:29.22 And we can look throughout church history 00:07:29.25\00:07:30.62 and see God uses people 00:07:30.65\00:07:32.25 who really have this thing together. 00:07:32.28\00:07:33.61 And we've all seen the stories and the newscast 00:07:33.64\00:07:35.95 and newspapers about men of God who have fallen. 00:07:35.98\00:07:39.46 Do you see what I am saying? 00:07:39.49\00:07:40.52 And they have lost what God have for them in their life. 00:07:40.55\00:07:44.18 Now of say a parent is watching right now 00:07:44.21\00:07:47.40 or perhaps a grandparent which I am sure many of you are 00:07:47.43\00:07:50.58 and we've got this young person in their life 00:07:50.61\00:07:54.74 that's beginning to dress a little, 00:07:54.77\00:07:57.99 you know, as they are growing a little 00:07:58.02\00:07:59.33 but, dressing a little more scads, 00:07:59.36\00:08:01.28 they are beginning to listen to some music 00:08:01.31\00:08:03.08 that you don't think is appropriate 00:08:03.11\00:08:04.46 and you see them beginning to run with the faster crowd. 00:08:04.49\00:08:07.77 Let's set up, how do you give children boundaries 00:08:07.80\00:08:11.08 or not just children but the youth boundaries? 00:08:11.11\00:08:13.89 Right, well, you need to invite them into a process. 00:08:13.92\00:08:16.56 And the way I like to invite the teens 00:08:16.59\00:08:18.31 into a process is this way, you are becoming an adult, 00:08:18.34\00:08:22.04 you are growing up so because of that 00:08:22.07\00:08:25.34 now we need to talk about this, okay. 00:08:25.37\00:08:27.85 And we've got materials that they can go on our website 00:08:27.88\00:08:29.66 and find if they want some more information but. 00:08:29.69\00:08:31.86 So then we say, okay, here's some, here's-- 00:08:31.89\00:08:33.86 let's talk about how long until someone gives you a kiss, 00:08:33.89\00:08:37.46 holds you hands, hugs you, hugs you front wise? 00:08:37.49\00:08:41.52 How long until xyz behaviors? 00:08:41.55\00:08:44.50 Okay. Let's walk through that. 00:08:44.53\00:08:45.87 In other words, there's actually a form 00:08:45.90\00:08:46.93 we have that we give to kids 00:08:46.96\00:08:48.08 and they fill this out 00:08:48.11\00:08:49.74 because it makes them think through it 00:08:49.77\00:08:50.94 because so many singles, 00:08:50.97\00:08:52.28 the churches abandoned a lot of singles in general. 00:08:52.31\00:08:55.07 We don't ask, you don't tell. Okay. 00:08:55.10\00:08:57.42 We don't invite them as a family. 00:08:57.45\00:08:58.56 The church is the only family who doesn't say, 00:08:58.59\00:09:00.36 you know what, come in here. 00:09:00.39\00:09:01.66 These are the family guidelines when it comes to dating. 00:09:01.69\00:09:03.59 Few churches have that. That's good point. 00:09:03.62\00:09:05.68 You know what I am saying? 00:09:05.71\00:09:06.74 They are saying you know what, if you are a single, 00:09:06.77\00:09:07.80 here is the boundaries 00:09:07.83\00:09:09.04 and you are accountable to this person, 00:09:09.07\00:09:10.46 this person and here's the way we do it. 00:09:10.49\00:09:11.86 No, just come on in 00:09:11.89\00:09:12.99 and you guys just do whatever you want to. 00:09:13.02\00:09:14.19 We hope you all being good and you know, 00:09:14.22\00:09:15.78 let us know when you get married. 00:09:15.81\00:09:16.84 And that's global abandonment of our single people. 00:09:16.87\00:09:20.35 That's true. You see what I am saying? 00:09:20.38\00:09:21.45 Yes. Okay. 00:09:21.48\00:09:22.51 As family you wouldn't do that with your children. 00:09:22.54\00:09:23.95 No family does that but the church family does. 00:09:23.98\00:09:26.31 And the singles feel it and they have some feelings about that. 00:09:26.34\00:09:29.06 They don't feel protective 00:09:29.09\00:09:30.12 and safe in the church that they could. 00:09:30.15\00:09:32.44 Now, so then it becomes it comes on them 00:09:32.47\00:09:34.96 to set up the boundaries on how long 00:09:34.99\00:09:37.03 and all this kind of stuff. 00:09:37.06\00:09:38.34 And I encourage young people 00:09:38.37\00:09:40.47 to get accountable to another couple. 00:09:40.50\00:09:44.09 Spiritual couple that they respect and-- 00:09:44.12\00:09:47.71 And now you are talking people who are what college age? 00:09:47.74\00:09:49.99 Sixteen to college, yeah. 00:09:50.02\00:09:51.84 Well, actually 16 to 60 00:09:51.87\00:09:53.67 because we got the whole singles again group. All right. 00:09:53.70\00:09:56.08 Because they don't want to be told what to do either. 00:09:56.11\00:09:57.66 You can't tell me I can't hold her hand, okay. 00:09:57.69\00:09:59.87 Listen, what you want to do 00:09:59.90\00:10:01.29 because you can have "accidents" 00:10:01.32\00:10:02.35 at 50 just like you did when you were 15. 00:10:02.38\00:10:04.16 That's good. Okay. 00:10:04.19\00:10:05.83 And when the single group is really good 00:10:05.86\00:10:07.00 at planning accidents. 00:10:07.03\00:10:09.31 Do you know what I am saying? Right. 00:10:09.34\00:10:10.62 I was over there at 10 o'clock and don't know how it happened. 00:10:10.65\00:10:12.57 What were you doing over there at 10 o'clock? Okay. 00:10:12.60\00:10:14.83 Do you know what I am saying? 00:10:14.86\00:10:16.17 They have to have those boundaries 00:10:16.20\00:10:17.23 no matter what your age is. 00:10:17.26\00:10:18.42 So you have these listed boundaries 00:10:18.45\00:10:19.74 then you make yourself accountable to another couple. 00:10:19.77\00:10:21.87 Every other week you go over to that couple 00:10:21.90\00:10:23.76 and go over your boundaries to make sure they are intact. 00:10:23.79\00:10:26.51 And after there's been a sin you ask forgiveness, 00:10:26.54\00:10:28.55 you own it, you pray through that. 00:10:28.58\00:10:29.94 And that will keep the younger people 00:10:29.97\00:10:31.91 more solid during that dating, quoting, 00:10:31.94\00:10:35.48 finding someone process whether they are 15 00:10:35.51\00:10:38.50 or whether they are 50. 00:10:38.53\00:10:39.93 And I can tell you do a singles again 00:10:39.96\00:10:41.69 you know, talks that's group is harder to talk to 00:10:41.72\00:10:44.12 because they think they know something. 00:10:44.15\00:10:46.23 They are just as human and now they say well, 00:10:46.26\00:10:47.64 and they were even more so with the hurt 00:10:47.67\00:10:49.42 and pain and desperation in this age. 00:10:49.45\00:10:51.62 So now, what are some of the boundaries? 00:10:51.65\00:10:52.86 You have a daughter and as she's coming into her teen years, 00:10:52.89\00:10:58.83 what are some of the boundaries 00:10:58.86\00:11:00.00 that you might try to lay down for her? 00:11:00.03\00:11:03.19 Sure. Well, this is again. 00:11:03.22\00:11:04.55 This is as we invite her into the process 00:11:04.58\00:11:06.40 because she's a part of the process now. 00:11:06.43\00:11:08.16 My daughter is precious in a lot of ways, 00:11:08.19\00:11:10.67 this is one of them, okay. 00:11:10.70\00:11:12.19 She goes to a Christian school 00:11:12.22\00:11:13.25 which if you can afford it, I recommend it. Amen. 00:11:13.28\00:11:15.88 Because the most mistakes are going to happen 00:11:15.91\00:11:18.15 between about you know, 14 to 24. 00:11:18.18\00:11:21.75 So better the pure group is the better chances 00:11:21.78\00:11:24.41 are you gonna have better outcomes, okay. 00:11:24.44\00:11:26.82 And I am okay with people working little extra 00:11:26.85\00:11:29.39 to get their kids into a Christian environment. Amen. 00:11:29.42\00:11:31.85 You know, I am not with--hey, let's throw these great lambs 00:11:31.88\00:11:34.97 into the wolves and see how they do. 00:11:35.00\00:11:37.60 That's not fair. Okay. 00:11:37.63\00:11:39.81 So anyway that's just my personal preference. 00:11:39.84\00:11:41.71 But, so she goes to Christian school. 00:11:41.74\00:11:43.40 One of her teacher said 00:11:43.43\00:11:45.47 that she made a deal with her daughter 00:11:45.50\00:11:47.10 that if she wait till the end of high school 00:11:47.13\00:11:50.24 that she would give her x-amount of money. 00:11:50.27\00:11:53.49 Wait till the end of high to-- 00:11:53.52\00:11:54.97 Before she kissed. 00:11:55.00\00:11:56.03 Before she kissed. Before she kissed a boy. 00:11:56.06\00:11:57.78 Okay. 00:11:57.81\00:11:58.84 And my daughter is little smart. 00:11:58.87\00:11:59.90 She think I make more money than the health teacher, okay. 00:11:59.93\00:12:03.02 So she comes home, she goes, dad, 00:12:03.05\00:12:04.27 she goes, you know, she tells me a story about this 00:12:04.30\00:12:06.30 and she goes, what do you think about this? 00:12:06.33\00:12:08.15 And I say, well, I tell you what Vanessa, 00:12:08.18\00:12:09.93 I'll give you five times of that amount 00:12:09.96\00:12:11.53 if you wait till high-school. 00:12:11.56\00:12:13.06 I'll give you five times of that amount 00:12:13.09\00:12:15.02 if you wait till college 00:12:15.05\00:12:16.45 and I'll give you five times of that amount 00:12:16.48\00:12:18.70 if you wait till day you are married. Oh, that's good. 00:12:18.73\00:12:21.71 Now see, here' what happened. 00:12:21.74\00:12:24.13 We moved the boundary of what's valuable 00:12:24.16\00:12:27.56 to our family down to the first kiss. 00:12:27.59\00:12:30.50 That's excellent. 00:12:32.35\00:12:33.38 Do you see what I am saying? Yeah. 00:12:33.41\00:12:34.70 So now she has a huge-- she could buy a car 00:12:34.73\00:12:38.29 with how much money if all three of those put together, 00:12:38.32\00:12:40.65 she can buy a car for that money. Okay. 00:12:40.68\00:12:43.47 So she now has a value 00:12:43.50\00:12:46.17 on what that first kiss is from our family. 00:12:46.20\00:12:48.65 So help me real quickly because there's somebody 00:12:48.68\00:12:50.77 that's watching right now. 00:12:50.80\00:12:52.02 Let's say, boy, I wish I can do that, 00:12:52.05\00:12:53.77 I don't have enough money to make that. 00:12:53.80\00:12:56.32 How can I put that same kind of-- 00:12:56.35\00:12:58.35 Wel,l there other ways of doing that. 00:12:58.38\00:12:59.41 I saw a--read an article. My daughter gave me an article. 00:12:59.44\00:13:01.07 She loves purity. She thinks it's a great thing. 00:13:01.10\00:13:03.46 Gave me and article where the couple gave the girl 00:13:03.49\00:13:06.35 a bracelet with about six different stones. 00:13:06.38\00:13:07.94 One was for the first time kiss, first time this, 00:13:07.97\00:13:10.49 first time that all the way to marriage. 00:13:10.52\00:13:12.53 And the story went like this that the girls had to give, 00:13:12.56\00:13:16.10 take the stone out of the bracelet 00:13:16.13\00:13:18.69 and give it to the boy that she had the first 00:13:18.72\00:13:22.22 whatever with which would ruin the bracelet. 00:13:22.25\00:13:25.51 So she started thinking I don't want to ruin my bracelet 00:13:25.54\00:13:27.74 for this little kiss thing, you know. 00:13:27.77\00:13:29.83 So I am going to wait, you know. So there are ways. 00:13:29.86\00:13:32.03 There's other creative ways of thinking through this, okay. 00:13:32.06\00:13:34.12 It's doesn't be just money 00:13:34.15\00:13:35.42 but that is very powerful to teens. Yes. 00:13:35.45\00:13:38.06 Let's face it, they like to have little extra resources. 00:13:38.09\00:13:40.73 And so whatever you come up with 00:13:40.76\00:13:42.44 but they need to buy into the process. 00:13:42.47\00:13:45.51 You know, if you just you coming down on them 00:13:45.54\00:13:47.12 that probably doesn't work. 00:13:47.15\00:13:48.67 You can say here's our values, what do you think, 00:13:48.70\00:13:51.36 where do you want to go with this? 00:13:51.39\00:13:52.60 You can't control your kid's purity, you can't. 00:13:52.63\00:13:55.88 You wish you can. 00:13:55.91\00:13:57.35 All parents fear it but you can't control it. 00:13:57.38\00:14:00.67 So but you can work together on it. 00:14:00.70\00:14:02.30 Say listen, how do you want to do this? 00:14:02.33\00:14:04.33 And you know my children have been exposed to some information 00:14:04.36\00:14:06.68 that other children haven't yet but you can teach them. 00:14:06.71\00:14:10.21 Listen, this is what the enemy wants to do, 00:14:10.24\00:14:12.50 this is what God wants to do with you 00:14:12.53\00:14:14.12 and this purity peace right here 00:14:14.15\00:14:16.55 is gonna be factor in all of your life. 00:14:16.58\00:14:19.67 So how do you want to do that? 00:14:19.70\00:14:21.47 You know, Malachi, I believe that's Malachi Chapter 2. 00:14:21.50\00:14:25.00 You see my Bible that's falling apart. 00:14:25.03\00:14:26.93 This is a scripture that I share with you sometimes 00:14:26.96\00:14:30.06 is that one of the reason that God wants us to be pure 00:14:30.09\00:14:35.73 is that He's looking for Godly offspring. 00:14:35.76\00:14:39.22 Absolutely. You know, He says here. 00:14:39.25\00:14:41.60 Some people, when I've counsel with youth 00:14:41.63\00:14:44.58 who actually somehow some-- 00:14:44.61\00:14:47.41 they weren't in church or their parents didn't talk about 00:14:47.44\00:14:50.12 and they didn't realize that it was important to God. 00:14:50.15\00:14:52.64 But He says in Malachi 2:15, 00:14:52.67\00:14:54.53 He says, talking to the husband and wife, 00:14:54.56\00:14:56.56 "Did God not he make one? 00:14:56.59\00:14:58.89 And why did he make you one and preserve your spirit alive 00:14:58.92\00:15:02.85 so that--" It says, "Why did he make you one 00:15:02.88\00:15:06.47 because He sought a godly offspring from your union. 00:15:06.50\00:15:10.69 Therefore take heed to your spirit." Totally. 00:15:10.72\00:15:13.02 And one thing that you said is that this study that they did, 00:15:13.05\00:15:18.91 this Redbook showed that women who had multiple partners 00:15:18.94\00:15:23.31 before marrying came in with unhealthy attitudes 00:15:23.34\00:15:28.33 about sexuality and about intimacy 00:15:28.36\00:15:32.29 and so they were dissatisfied in their marriage. 00:15:32.32\00:15:35.43 You've said that what scientifically 00:15:35.46\00:15:38.68 and biologically speaking, it's been proven 00:15:38.71\00:15:40.96 that anything that you-- 00:15:40.99\00:15:42.93 if a young man is using pornography. 00:15:42.96\00:15:47.46 He's going to damage himself. He is damage his brain. 00:15:47.49\00:15:50.58 So there are setting everything that they do before marriage-- 00:15:50.61\00:15:53.54 God isn't just sitting there and telling you, 00:15:53.57\00:15:56.19 I am putting these boundaries around you. 00:15:56.22\00:15:58.10 These are just rules and regulations and it's not-- 00:15:58.13\00:16:01.43 we always give these talks bout like STD, 00:16:01.46\00:16:04.25 the sexually transmitted disease 00:16:04.28\00:16:06.76 and we put these little fear factors here on them 00:16:06.79\00:16:09.59 and kids think they are absolutely-- 00:16:09.62\00:16:13.29 That's not going to happen to them 00:16:13.32\00:16:14.35 because that's developmentally 00:16:14.38\00:16:15.84 and unless you don't think these going to happen to you. Yeah. 00:16:15.87\00:16:17.48 That's why they drive fast and do all that kind of stuff. 00:16:17.51\00:16:19.47 So that's not the best deterrent 00:16:19.50\00:16:21.65 but if they understand that the type of thing activity 00:16:21.68\00:16:25.37 that they are becoming involved in before marriage 00:16:25.40\00:16:28.06 could ruin their marriage, could ruin for generations. 00:16:28.09\00:16:32.16 Several things. 00:16:32.19\00:16:33.22 The way things are going on that's-- 00:16:33.25\00:16:34.91 And the thing is here is that, Shelly, that the-- 00:16:34.94\00:16:37.32 the brain doesn't fully develop till 21. Boy. 00:16:37.35\00:16:41.47 So that's why the enemy tries to get them 00:16:41.50\00:16:42.79 when they are 14, 15 and 16 00:16:42.82\00:16:44.54 because it actually goes into the developing brain. 00:16:44.57\00:16:47.97 This isn't a fully mature brain, okay. 00:16:48.00\00:16:51.22 So now these inroads 00:16:51.25\00:16:52.66 are actually in the developmental process 00:16:52.69\00:16:56.09 and they get hooked in there. 00:16:56.12\00:16:57.41 So this is very important for teens to understand. 00:16:57.44\00:17:01.05 Parents, it's very important for you 00:17:01.08\00:17:02.14 to get more information on this 00:17:02.17\00:17:03.75 to shepherd your children to this process. 00:17:03.78\00:17:06.30 We have a DVD called "Shepherding Your Sons" 00:17:06.33\00:17:09.07 because men need to walk through men 00:17:09.10\00:17:10.91 through that whole period from 14 to 24 00:17:10.94\00:17:13.69 or until they get married. 00:17:13.72\00:17:15.31 And shepherd them, not just a little-- 00:17:15.34\00:17:17.47 we had our talk, that one minute talk. 00:17:17.50\00:17:20.73 This is the most powerful thing God has given 00:17:20.76\00:17:22.66 to your son and to your daughter, okay. 00:17:22.69\00:17:25.03 It needs more than a one minute talk, okay. 00:17:25.06\00:17:28.42 And it needs to be shepherded over that period of time 00:17:28.45\00:17:31.10 and have honest dialogue. 00:17:31.13\00:17:32.58 Of course you got to get rid 00:17:32.61\00:17:33.64 of your own shame and stuff like that. 00:17:33.67\00:17:35.33 And one other thing you know, when I do talk to kids 00:17:35.36\00:17:37.61 because a lot kids have made mistakes 00:17:37.64\00:17:41.05 and you can have faith in your mistakes 00:17:41.08\00:17:43.86 or you can have faith in Christ and His blood. 00:17:43.89\00:17:46.23 And I tell kids all time, listen, 00:17:46.26\00:17:47.76 the blood is more powerful than all of your sins, 00:17:47.79\00:17:49.87 all of your family's sins, city sins, state sins, 00:17:49.90\00:17:52.21 nation sins, all nations of the world sins, 00:17:52.24\00:17:54.81 all nation of the world of all time, past, present and future 00:17:54.84\00:17:57.79 that's how powerful the blood is. 00:17:57.82\00:17:59.41 Your little sin didn't put a scar in the blood. 00:17:59.44\00:18:02.37 Right. It's still good. 00:18:02.40\00:18:03.81 The blood is still good. You are forgiven. 00:18:03.84\00:18:06.38 He can still cleanse you. 00:18:06.41\00:18:07.50 I was a mess as an out of lesson. 00:18:07.53\00:18:09.52 I didn't come towards Lord till I was about 19 really as Lord. 00:18:09.55\00:18:12.55 I made lots of mistakes and He has covered those. 00:18:12.58\00:18:15.50 And I had to work through some pain 00:18:15.53\00:18:17.13 and it caused an addiction for me. 00:18:17.16\00:18:19.66 It cost several things with that to clean up 00:18:19.69\00:18:21.54 and it took years to clean that mess up. 00:18:21.57\00:18:23.98 So what I am hoping is, is that teens are listening 00:18:24.01\00:18:28.29 so I don't want to go down that road. 00:18:28.32\00:18:29.79 And it's actually what's happening. 00:18:29.82\00:18:30.85 I think I am looking at our '60s, '70s generation 00:18:30.88\00:18:33.39 and when gosh, you guys can't stay married, 00:18:33.42\00:18:35.32 you can't handle your money, you can't figure out life, 00:18:35.35\00:18:37.82 you can't you know, you can't do life. 00:18:37.85\00:18:39.64 What's the problem? 00:18:39.67\00:18:40.79 So we don't want to go down that road. 00:18:40.82\00:18:42.77 So we're not gonna you know, get ourselves into 00:18:42.80\00:18:44.83 just do what you want, love the one you are with. 00:18:44.86\00:18:46.44 That's nonsense. 00:18:46.47\00:18:47.77 We are waiting for the right person. 00:18:47.80\00:18:49.87 We are waiting to be married. 00:18:49.90\00:18:51.16 And there is this whole absence moment 00:18:51.19\00:18:53.19 that's really been healthy, which is great. 00:18:53.22\00:18:55.39 I'm really proud of those people who are doing that. Amen. 00:18:55.42\00:18:58.07 And we had-- we know there are several couples 00:18:58.10\00:18:59.76 who work here at 3ABN who never kissed till the day-- 00:18:59.79\00:19:04.61 until the moment they said, I do. 00:19:04.64\00:19:06.19 That was their first kiss. Right. 00:19:06.22\00:19:07.81 And they are the happiest and cutest couples. 00:19:07.84\00:19:10.22 I mean, it's precious. 00:19:10.25\00:19:11.58 Now one thing that we don't want to discourage anyone as you said 00:19:11.61\00:19:16.10 the Bible tells us in 1 John 1:9 that if we have sinned 00:19:16.13\00:19:20.66 and if we confess our sin that He is faithful 00:19:20.69\00:19:22.99 and just to forgive us of our sins 00:19:23.02\00:19:24.82 and cleanses us of all unrighteousness. 00:19:24.85\00:19:27.57 So you can be restored but I am thinking 00:19:27.60\00:19:31.94 and is there a practical way you've mentioned before 00:19:31.97\00:19:35.74 that there's great filters for-- 00:19:35.77\00:19:38.87 You defiantly want to block the internet. 00:19:38.90\00:19:40.68 You want to block the internet on your home computer, okay. 00:19:40.71\00:19:44.53 And there's plenty of those out there. 00:19:44.56\00:19:47.20 And also, Shelly, what we need to do is 00:19:47.23\00:19:48.77 deactivate the internet access on our kid's phones. 00:19:48.80\00:19:52.18 One of the most infiltrating ways 00:19:52.21\00:19:54.64 kids are getting into pornography 00:19:54.67\00:19:55.93 is through the telephone, going on the internet. 00:19:55.96\00:19:58.69 Kids are swapping phones, 00:19:58.72\00:19:59.98 they are taking pictures doing inappropriate things. 00:20:00.01\00:20:02.06 This can't happen if you don't have 00:20:02.09\00:20:04.21 internet access on your child's phone. So-- 00:20:04.24\00:20:06.95 Never had stopped so you say that by giving them these phones 00:20:06.98\00:20:09.81 that kids could actually be in schools and watching-- 00:20:09.84\00:20:12.66 You are giving them a porn store 00:20:12.69\00:20:13.81 if you don't block the internet access on there. 00:20:13.84\00:20:16.00 Okay. Mercy. 00:20:16.03\00:20:17.13 And this is very, very common of what's going on. 00:20:17.16\00:20:20.14 So we are in a different culture 00:20:20.17\00:20:21.80 and parents aren't as informed as our kids are. 00:20:21.83\00:20:24.13 You know what I am saying? Yes. 00:20:24.16\00:20:25.23 And so it's time to educate ourselves 00:20:25.26\00:20:27.00 and you know, parents, I just would say to you know, 00:20:27.03\00:20:29.28 look at what you've already told 00:20:29.31\00:20:31.87 you know, your son or your daughter 00:20:31.90\00:20:34.06 and see if that's adequate for the generation they are in, 00:20:34.09\00:20:37.29 not the generation you are in. 00:20:37.32\00:20:39.48 Just saying no, isn't going to do anymore. 00:20:39.51\00:20:41.86 They need to know the body facts, 00:20:41.89\00:20:43.87 they need to know the science 00:20:43.90\00:20:45.36 behind what you are telling them to do. 00:20:45.39\00:20:46.88 And then they tend to make better choices 00:20:46.91\00:20:48.56 because their generation that likes to be informed. 00:20:48.59\00:20:52.01 So give them the information they need to be 00:20:52.04\00:20:54.17 as good of godly young people they can be. 00:20:54.20\00:20:57.00 It's so important that parents look at this 00:20:57.03\00:20:58.61 as their responsibility as a parent 00:20:58.65\00:21:02.08 to make sure this area is taken care of. 00:21:02.11\00:21:04.53 Too long we've been silent in the church 00:21:04.56\00:21:06.31 and too long we've been silent as parents 00:21:06.34\00:21:08.04 and in this now in a critical state. 00:21:08.07\00:21:10.19 You know, I believe very strongly 00:21:10.22\00:21:12.15 that modesty of dress is something 00:21:12.18\00:21:14.25 very important that we teach our youth. 00:21:14.28\00:21:17.49 But it's again, this is science. Okay. 00:21:17.52\00:21:19.38 I draw the brain along these 00:21:19.41\00:21:21.02 and it show, okay, now if a guy who is looking at pornography 00:21:21.05\00:21:22.76 he's already got this neural image towards that. 00:21:22.79\00:21:25.48 So the closer you dress to that 00:21:25.51\00:21:28.70 you will attract the sickest guys in the church 00:21:28.73\00:21:31.59 and in the school and in your neighborhood to you 00:21:31.62\00:21:35.04 because those brains will be attracted. 00:21:35.07\00:21:37.37 So what I tell Lisa listen, if you want to be someone 00:21:37.40\00:21:40.76 who is more safe and picking healthier guys 00:21:40.79\00:21:43.26 dress in such a way that your shape 00:21:43.29\00:21:46.19 of your top or your bottom isn't so obvious. Yes. 00:21:46.22\00:21:51.04 Do you know what I am saying? 00:21:51.07\00:21:52.12 And if you are, you know, jumping around. 00:21:52.15\00:21:53.87 That's, you dressed appropriate 00:21:53.90\00:21:55.66 so that you are not drawing that negative attention to you. 00:21:55.69\00:22:00.31 Let someone else get the sick guys. 00:22:00.34\00:22:02.00 That's good. Do you know what I am saying? 00:22:02.03\00:22:03.69 And I want to tell this story before we end today 00:22:03.72\00:22:06.73 is you know, when I was in high school I wasn't saved. 00:22:06.76\00:22:08.94 And I was really, sadly making bad choices 00:22:08.97\00:22:12.40 in this area of my life, okay. 00:22:12.43\00:22:14.47 And there was a girl I dated, her name was Alisa Cromer. 00:22:14.50\00:22:19.48 Now of all the people I was inappropriate with, 00:22:19.51\00:22:21.74 I don't remember their names. 00:22:21.77\00:22:24.40 I don't remember who they were, 00:22:24.43\00:22:25.97 what we did all but I can tell you about Alisa. 00:22:26.00\00:22:28.86 Because you never had any-- 00:22:28.89\00:22:30.30 I never was inappropriate with her. 00:22:30.33\00:22:31.37 She wouldn't let me, she was actually Christian and I wasn't. 00:22:31.40\00:22:33.67 I think she's actually part where I got saved. 00:22:33.70\00:22:35.75 I think she prayed me in, you know. Praise God. 00:22:35.78\00:22:37.90 But she was pure, she would try to had me 00:22:37.93\00:22:40.02 listen to Christian music and you know, 00:22:40.05\00:22:41.88 and she just wouldn't go anywhere there. Right. 00:22:41.91\00:22:45.16 And she actually just broke up with me 00:22:45.19\00:22:46.56 because like you know, Doug, this is not-- 00:22:46.59\00:22:48.01 that's not means where I am going and, you know. 00:22:48.04\00:22:49.89 But see, I remember her because she had purity. 00:22:49.92\00:22:55.24 She was special. Yeah. 00:22:55.27\00:22:57.05 And so I tell girls all the time, listen, 00:22:57.08\00:22:58.98 if you want to really be remembered 00:22:59.01\00:23:00.88 be the one who doesn't. Amen. 00:23:00.91\00:23:04.01 You now, because that person you know, 00:23:04.04\00:23:05.84 you could still be friends 25 years down the road. Right. 00:23:05.87\00:23:09.03 You see, other people, you can't hang with them all 00:23:09.06\00:23:10.83 because your spouse will think, no, these guys were there, 00:23:10.86\00:23:13.40 you can't so that, you know. 00:23:13.43\00:23:15.02 And so be the one who's remembered 00:23:15.05\00:23:17.21 not only by people you date but be one that God looks down 00:23:17.24\00:23:21.47 and goes, wow, that person I can trust. Amen. 00:23:21.50\00:23:27.34 Because you see, this is an exciting thing 00:23:27.37\00:23:29.27 and we will hop just a little bit 00:23:29.30\00:23:30.77 but a lot of Christians get excited when they can trust God. 00:23:30.80\00:23:35.44 Okay, now for me that's a no greater. 00:23:35.47\00:23:37.40 He's trustworthy. 00:23:37.43\00:23:38.68 He's faithful, He has died for us, 00:23:38.71\00:23:40.01 He rose from dead, He is gloriously responsible. 00:23:40.04\00:23:42.28 Do you know what I am saying? 00:23:42.31\00:23:43.34 So to trusting someone who is gloriously responsible 00:23:43.37\00:23:44.78 isn't exactly a big leap. 00:23:44.81\00:23:47.53 It is for some but I see your point. 00:23:47.56\00:23:49.22 It is for some, it is for some. Yeah. 00:23:49.25\00:23:50.76 Well, what's exciting for me or what I see 00:23:50.79\00:23:52.80 when the Christian walk becomes exciting 00:23:52.83\00:23:54.48 is when God decides to trust you. 00:23:54.51\00:23:56.93 And you proven that you are walking in a manner 00:23:56.96\00:23:59.64 worthy of your calling and He can trust you. 00:23:59.67\00:24:01.59 He says, you know what, I can trust this boy, 00:24:01.62\00:24:03.18 I can trust this young lady and I can give them this. 00:24:03.21\00:24:06.55 You see, what I am saying? 00:24:06.58\00:24:08.71 I can give then this and trust them. 00:24:08.74\00:24:10.12 And so we want our purity in place 00:24:10.15\00:24:12.05 where God can look at us and He can go, well done. Amen. 00:24:12.08\00:24:15.34 Well done good and faithful servant 00:24:15.37\00:24:17.42 and I am gonna give you this blessing. Amen. 00:24:17.45\00:24:20.28 You know you had spoken about one thing that I-- 00:24:20.31\00:24:23.51 when we said that we'd like to do this program, 00:24:23.54\00:24:25.37 I haven't thought about the singles agains. 00:24:25.40\00:24:27.25 We only have a couple of minutes. 00:24:27.28\00:24:28.85 For someone who has been perhaps widowed, maybe divorced 00:24:28.88\00:24:34.99 and they have known physical intimacy with their spouse 00:24:35.02\00:24:40.71 and now they are single again there must be 00:24:40.74\00:24:44.68 probably even more special challenges for them. 00:24:44.71\00:24:47.84 There is more challenges and that's why they need 00:24:47.87\00:24:49.49 a little bit more boundaries, little more safety 00:24:49.52\00:24:51.29 and a little bit more from the church 00:24:51.32\00:24:52.61 to provide that safety. 00:24:52.64\00:24:55.13 And to give those young women and young man or you know, 00:24:55.16\00:24:57.81 sometimes they are young at 40 and 50 and 60, okay. 00:24:57.84\00:25:00.54 And say, you know what, 00:25:00.57\00:25:01.65 we are going to walk with you 00:25:01.68\00:25:02.71 through this together, not alone. Right. 00:25:02.74\00:25:06.00 Because alone they are going to make those bad choices 00:25:06.03\00:25:08.87 and stay up late and do things and kind of isolates 00:25:08.90\00:25:11.66 just like they did when they were teenagers. 00:25:11.69\00:25:13.26 That single again group is very parallel 00:25:13.29\00:25:15.91 to that 15 to 22 group. 00:25:15.94\00:25:18.40 They want to isolate, get alone 00:25:18.43\00:25:19.99 and have accidents and do things. 00:25:20.02\00:25:21.66 And you got to kind of be careful with that. 00:25:21.69\00:25:23.79 And they get really offended when you are honest with them 00:25:23.82\00:25:26.16 about what they are doing 00:25:26.19\00:25:27.31 but we need to be involved. 00:25:27.34\00:25:29.76 You know, this you are saying, 00:25:29.79\00:25:32.52 I am going to reduce it to three simple words 00:25:32.55\00:25:34.32 or four, plan to be pure. 00:25:34.35\00:25:36.68 And so you mention on several occasions 00:25:36.71\00:25:39.36 now this isolation, if you are planning to be pure 00:25:39.39\00:25:42.41 you can't go off with the opposite sex 00:25:42.44\00:25:46.88 and be alone in a secluded place-- 00:25:46.91\00:25:50.07 And expect good things to happen. 00:25:50.10\00:25:51.13 And expect good things to happen. 00:25:51.16\00:25:52.73 Okay. Yeah. 00:25:52.76\00:25:53.79 You got to use this thing that God gave you, okay. 00:25:53.82\00:25:56.37 And see, I tell men-- 00:25:56.40\00:25:58.60 now this is a man talk here but I tell men, 00:25:58.63\00:26:00.99 listen, men are called to protect women, okay. 00:26:01.02\00:26:04.91 and if you are dating a women the first responsibility 00:26:04.94\00:26:07.72 you have is to protect her from you. 00:26:07.75\00:26:10.13 You are dangerous, you are lethal, 00:26:10.16\00:26:11.79 you've got all this energy of hormones. 00:26:11.82\00:26:13.74 You are a lion in a cage, okay. 00:26:13.77\00:26:16.83 you have got to make sure you protect her from you. 00:26:16.86\00:26:20.14 If you protect her from you, 00:26:20.17\00:26:22.06 she will know that you'll protect her from others. 00:26:22.09\00:26:24.44 Oh, that's wonderful. That's excellent advice. 00:26:24.47\00:26:25.62 Do you know what I am saying? 00:26:25.65\00:26:26.98 And the guys get, they go, 00:26:27.01\00:26:28.19 oh, I never thought about protecting her from me. 00:26:28.22\00:26:30.90 You are right, I am a bare man, 00:26:30.93\00:26:32.71 I need to protect her from me. 00:26:32.74\00:26:34.82 So then you have curfews, you have boundaries, 00:26:34.85\00:26:37.08 you won't go certain places alone 00:26:37.11\00:26:39.13 or be alone in each other's apartment 00:26:39.16\00:26:41.05 or dorm room or stuff like that 00:26:41.08\00:26:42.41 because like you know, honey, I got to protect you from me. 00:26:42.44\00:26:45.00 You are really too attractive. 00:26:45.03\00:26:46.51 If I get you alone, I may think improperly. 00:26:46.54\00:26:48.81 So let me keep you in a public contact 00:26:48.84\00:26:50.28 so that we can both be safe. 00:26:50.31\00:26:51.77 That's beautiful. That's wonderful. 00:26:51.80\00:26:53.83 Well, I really, sincerely appreciate you coming back 00:26:53.86\00:26:57.36 and talking to us about this. Sure. 00:26:57.39\00:26:58.70 Because I think this is such an important topic. 00:26:58.73\00:27:01.36 And I never really-- I knew the devil was trying, 00:27:01.39\00:27:04.16 you know, the-- he's trying to destroy our youth 00:27:04.19\00:27:08.80 but I never stopped to think he's-- 00:27:08.83\00:27:11.04 what the ultimate purpose 00:27:11.07\00:27:12.18 is to rob them of their spiritual authority 00:27:12.21\00:27:14.44 Yeah, because if he can do that in this generation 00:27:14.47\00:27:16.23 America will become a lot more secularized like Europe 00:27:16.26\00:27:20.52 and that's the end goal 00:27:20.55\00:27:21.94 of all this sexual onslaught in America. 00:27:21.97\00:27:24.41 And it's not-- I mean, I know we've got 00:27:24.44\00:27:25.83 viewers from around the world watching 00:27:25.86\00:27:27.49 and it's happening pretty much everywhere. 00:27:27.52\00:27:30.68 Dr. Douglas Wise, thank you so much for joining us today. 00:27:30.71\00:27:32.73 It's good to be here, Shelly, thank you. 00:27:32.76\00:27:34.27 I hope that you've learned something today 00:27:34.30\00:27:36.78 that you can share with the youth in your life 00:27:36.81\00:27:39.10 or the single again but this is something 00:27:39.13\00:27:41.83 that we know this is God's will is for our purity. 00:27:41.86\00:27:46.01 And it doesn't matter whether you are a married couple 00:27:46.04\00:27:48.40 and remaining in your thought process of spirit 00:27:48.43\00:27:51.31 or if you are single. 00:27:51.34\00:27:52.71 Just practice God's plan. Plan to be pure. 00:27:52.74\00:27:55.76