Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Lizzie Harrison
Series Code: IAA
Program Code: IAA000344
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00:30 Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn.
00:31 Welcome to Issues and Answers. 00:33 This is a program where we talk about issues 00:36 that are affecting Christians 00:38 and people other than Christians even, 00:40 and what are the Biblical answers. 00:43 And today we are going to be talking about stop. 00:47 We're going to look at the warning signs of abuse. 00:51 You know, the Bible says Timothy 00:53 or Paul worth is to Timothy in 2 Timothy Chapter 3. 00:57 Listen to what he said about people. 00:59 He said, beginning in verse 1. 01:01 "Understand this that in the last days 01:04 they will become perilous times of great stress and trouble. 01:08 People will be lovers of self, 01:11 they will be utterly self-centered, 01:13 lovers of money and greedy, 01:16 they have a greedy desire of wealth. 01:18 They are gonna be proud, arrogant, 01:20 and contemptuous boasters. 01:22 They will be abusive, disobedient to parents, 01:27 ungrateful, unholy, and profane." 01:29 He goes on to talk about these people 01:32 and here is what he finally says in verse 5. 01:36 "For they hold a form of piety or religion 01:40 but they deny and reject the power of it 01:45 avoid all such people." 01:49 In the Greek he is saying, turn away from people like this. 01:52 What we want to do today is to arm you with knowledge. 01:57 Maybe you are in a wonderful relationship, 02:01 maybe you're dating someone who's wonderful, 02:03 and you think I don't need to know 02:05 about what the warning signs are of abuse. 02:08 But let me tell you, you do 02:09 because there's other people in your church 02:11 that you need to educate, that you need to say. 02:14 Maybe it's your own child and you say, 02:17 you know, there is something here 02:19 that this person you are dating this is a scary sign. 02:22 And if you are in a relationship 02:25 and you know something is wrong 02:26 but you always feel like it's your fault stay tuned 02:29 because we're going to tell you what these warning signs are. 02:32 Please help me welcome retuning to us 02:35 Liz Harrison from St. Louis Missouri. 02:38 Now tell us about your ministry. 02:40 Yes, Harrison's Referral Services 02:42 is a domestic violence organization. 02:45 We help women and children 02:46 that are flaying from domestic violence, 02:49 that are displaced due to domestic violence. 02:51 We help women and children 02:53 get into a safe havens, into a shelters. 02:55 We help with emergency toiletries, food, and clothing. 02:59 And we also offer spiritual guidance and counseling as well. 03:02 And I know that you do a lot of workshops in churches 03:05 and you're trying to really get churches 03:08 off the mark if you will and it's on mark 03:12 but you trying to get them to where churches are recognizing 03:15 these problems of domestic violence and abuse. 03:19 That's correct. 03:20 And praise the Lord for the work that you're doing 03:22 but this comes from something 03:24 you come at this topic with a lot of passion 03:27 because you were abused yourself in your previous marriage. 03:30 Yes, yes. 03:31 Well, what we want to do today, Liz, 03:33 is as you have come to tell us about the warning signs. 03:37 Yes. 03:38 Let's just jump right into the warning signs 03:41 but I want to frame it in this way. 03:43 After you tell us some of these warning signs 03:45 I want to know did you recognize any of these 03:49 in your relationship before you married your husband? 03:52 The warning signs are controlling behavior, 03:57 force to calculating your time when you leaving the house 04:01 and when you are at work. The abuser-- 04:03 So when you say calculating the time 04:05 you mean like, if some one is saying 04:06 it should have only taken you 22 minutes 04:08 to drive from work to home, ehy are you 10 minutes late. 04:11 Yes, the abuser will accuse you 04:13 of having an outside relationship 04:15 or maybe stopping to talk to someone 04:17 about what's going on in the home. 04:19 So the abuser is always tracking your time. 04:22 And will give you an estimated time 04:24 of how long it should take you 04:26 to get to one destination to the next. 04:28 Also to you have control in behavior 04:30 forced to telling you where you can go, where you can't go, 04:34 isolating you from family and friends, 04:37 also to the abuser will control the money, 04:40 the bank accounts, checking accounts or whatever, 04:44 also to their control how much money you spend. 04:46 They only give you so much money. 04:48 So you know, they are afraid 04:50 that you might pack up and try to leave. 04:52 They don't want you to have any outside access to anyone. 04:57 When you see the jealousy behavior 04:59 where the spouse or the boyfriend or the abuser 05:02 doesn't want you socializing with other people, 05:05 they isolate you from family members and friends. 05:07 Even your children, 05:08 they will isolate you from your children as well. 05:11 Some other ones signs that we have is that 05:13 when you see that the abuser starts to yell and scream 05:17 and punch the walls sometimes they will be abusive to family, 05:22 they are abused to animals, they will torture animals, 05:25 they are also torture themselves 05:28 to make you feel guilty about what's going on. 05:32 They hold you responsible for everything that is going on. 05:35 Also to they will control that where you can't work, 05:38 they will keep you from working a job. 05:40 What they will do is they will keep calling your job, 05:42 harassing you to the point where you are employer will say, 05:45 you know, we can't accept this anymore. 05:47 We gonna have to let you go. 05:50 Also to the abuser where he will try to control you spiritually, 05:53 you know, as well by telling you 05:56 that you will never amount to anything. 05:58 And sometimes, you know, you believe it 06:00 as a victim of domestic violence you will believe that 06:05 and the warning signs also to can be spill over 06:08 until marking how you cook your food 06:12 and how the house is not clean. 06:15 The abuser is controlling about how the-- 06:20 the cabinets or whatever. 06:22 All different types of warning signs, 06:24 like I said, punching the wall, 06:26 it just so simultaneously is as well. 06:29 Really, you know, 06:30 now I want to get back to that premise of that 06:33 how I frame that question as well. 06:36 Did you recognize 06:38 because we're not just talking about domestic violence 06:40 we're also talking about relational violence. 06:45 Sometimes it happens in a relationship 06:47 and people don't see these as red flags. 06:51 They don't see that they need to stop and pay attention. 06:55 Where there any-- now that you can look back 06:58 where there any of these warning signs 07:01 before you married you husband, 07:03 when you were in a relationship did any of these signs exist 07:06 and you just missed them 07:07 or did yours happened after you are married? 07:10 No the warning signs were there I just ignored them. 07:13 You ignored them? 07:14 Yes, and that's not healthy to ignore the warning signs. 07:17 Well, sometimes don't you think that people think 07:19 oh, if I can just love him enough or her enough 07:22 I mean, if I can just be what they want me to be 07:25 then I can get the beyond these things 07:29 or they're just ignorant of facts. 07:32 I've actually counseled with young ladies who have said, 07:36 oh he just, he obsesses over me it's wonderful. 07:40 You know, he just wants me to himself. 07:42 And they don't recognize that what, 07:45 I mean, it's not a marriage relationship, 07:47 it's a dating relationship 07:49 wouldn'tmake it right if it wasn't a marriage relationship. 07:52 But what those warning signs are coming up 07:55 is that this is someone who is crawling them off 07:59 from everyone else so that they can gain control over them. 08:03 Yes, it's a isolation thing where they will isolate you, 08:06 they can only isolate you. 08:08 When they get you by yourself then they can start the torture. 08:11 And when they isolate you from all your family and your friends 08:14 and push everyone away 08:16 because the abuser will push everyone away. 08:18 And when the family is trying to work with the victim 08:21 by trying to get them out of the relationship 08:23 and try to separate you from the abuse 08:25 a lot of the victim starts to side with the abuser. 08:29 And a lot of times the family members are just pushed away 08:31 and leave them because they feel that, 08:33 you know, you should leave them because I said so 08:36 because, you know, this is what you should do. 08:38 But we tend to allow the victim to know 08:42 that they need to flee from the situation, 08:44 they know that they are in abusive relationship 08:46 but they just don't know how to leave because of the bond. 08:50 And you know, sometimes-- 08:52 I think you will agree with this. 08:54 Sometimes people don't recognize 08:55 they are in an abusive relationship 08:57 because they are not yet got into the point 08:59 where someone is verbally denigrating them. 09:03 They've not yet got to the point 09:05 where maybe they slap them around or something. 09:08 But these warnings signs are here, you know, 09:11 just controlling obsessive type behavior 09:14 and it will escalate to that after a period of time. 09:20 So would you agree with that? 09:21 Yes, I agree with that. I experienced that myself. 09:23 You know, in my situation 09:25 when I was a victim of domestic violence 09:27 the verbal abuse was there, 09:30 the psychological abuse was there as well, 09:33 and it actually escalated over into physical abuse. 09:36 A lot of times we don't realize that we are being abused 09:38 because we're not being physical punched or hit or slapped. 09:42 So a lot of times the victim will say 09:44 well, well I'm not being abused. 09:46 Well, if you being verbally abuse, 09:48 psychological abuse, your self-esteem has being torn down, 09:51 you know, of that sort you are being abuse 09:54 and it leads, it will lead to the physical abuse 09:57 if you stay in the situation long enough. 09:59 So a lot of times they don't realize that they're being abuse 10:01 but when you explain to them all the different warning signs 10:04 and all the different types of abuse 10:06 then they come to realize, you know, I am being abused. 10:09 I am a victim of domestic violence. 10:11 And they don't realize that until you open up 10:14 the door of the warning signs for them. 10:16 I had a dear friend who, you know, my sister first was-- 10:19 her first husband was incredibly abusive 10:23 and she did she ignored some of these warning signs 10:25 and thought that she could just love him more 10:27 and do things right and it will be okay. 10:29 But it got to the point over their married life where if she, 10:34 he come home from work 10:36 if she didn't have enough sugar in his tea, 10:38 he put her in the hospital one time 10:40 because she didn't have enough sugar in his tea. 10:43 And her response after he broke nose and a collarbone 10:46 her response was well, it's my fault 10:49 I know how much sugar he needs in his tea. 10:52 So there is something that happens 10:54 in the psyche of a person 10:57 who has been isolated, who has been control. 11:03 That the kind of-- it's like this net 11:05 that they get this the current start circling in 11:08 and tightening it up and tightening it up 11:10 to where that control it maybe flattering it 11:13 first to think someone cares for you so much 11:16 but then they come in and come tighten it up 11:18 to where you can't look left or right without being-- 11:23 What happens with that is that, you know, 11:24 when you've been in abusive relationship for so long 11:26 you start to lose your identity. 11:28 You start to lose yourself in another individual 11:31 to the point where who they are, you are now. 11:34 So you don't have your own identity, 11:36 you're not own person, you don't exist 11:39 and the only reason why you existed 11:41 because the abuser says that you exist. 11:43 And you only able to talk, walk, and eat 11:46 and to be mobile it's when the abuser says so. 11:50 And when that happens when you're closed in or locked in, 11:54 where your identity is totally gone, 11:56 it's almost like identity theft, you know. 11:59 That's a great way-- You know, yes it is. 12:01 And when you do that it's like you're gone. 12:03 You don't even exist. 12:04 You are forgotten into the point where you think 12:06 that nobody cares about you anymore 12:08 so the only person that loved you 12:10 and care about you is the abuser. 12:11 That's what they do to close you and to say, 12:14 you know, I'm the only one that loves you, 12:15 I care about you, that's why I'm here with you 12:17 but its your fault that I'm doing this to you 12:20 because, you know, if you just listen to me 12:21 and just do what I say do and you know, 12:23 that need to be a whole lot better. 12:24 So it's like the guilty part of it, 12:26 the psychological part of it, 12:27 the mental part and the emotional part. 12:30 And sometimes-- as I was gonna say 12:32 I had a dear friend who married man 12:34 who just seemed to be absolutely wonderful at first. 12:39 And bought her a new car had sell everything of hers 12:43 then bought her a new car and she was thrilled 12:45 and but then he took that car away 12:47 and he start trying to isolate her 12:49 and he would come in and pound on, you know, 12:52 pound on cabinets and pound on the walls. 12:56 And I kept telling her 'cause we prayed so hard 12:59 and she, you know, God hates divorce. 13:01 She kept quoting from Malachi, "God hates divorce." 13:04 But I kept asking her, you know, 13:07 you could see all the signs there. 13:09 And I kept saying are you afraid, are you afraid? 13:11 And she'd say no I don't think he is going to hurt me. 13:14 But then he started doing some things that you're talking about 13:17 where he was being rather abusive with animals 13:20 and did some really strange things. Yes. 13:22 That frightened her and his behavior start escalating 13:28 and finally she called me and said, I don't know what to do. 13:30 And I told her I think you need to get out of there 13:32 and he needs some help. 13:34 But there is probably some young person 13:38 that's watching us right now who is saying mine's not like that, 13:43 he's not that bad, yeah, he slap me once 13:47 but you know, he was just really upset with me, he was jealous. 13:51 He, yes, he's a little controlling 13:54 but he just loves me that's why he wants to know 13:57 who I'm with and what I'm doing. 13:58 What would you tell that young person 14:01 who has experience this and thinks 14:04 mine is not like that, he'd never do that? 14:07 Well, I would encourage that they will pray first 14:12 and ask the Lord to open up their eyes 14:13 and to accept the fact that 14:15 this is a relationship that's not healthy for you. 14:19 Not in the short or long term and that you should recognize 14:23 the different type abuse and signs that are there. 14:26 Look for a way of escape, cut the relationship off, 14:30 ask the Lord also to a healthy way 14:33 of separating from the abusive relationship 14:37 or seek counseling, ask questions, 14:40 call different agencies to find out how to separate 14:43 'cause sometimes it depends on how far 14:46 the person is in the relationship. 14:47 How rooted and grounded they are in that individual. 14:51 Hopefully that person is-- they are not have-- 14:53 they haven't lost themselves in that individual. 14:56 I will suggest to a young person that 14:57 when the warning signs are there that is your way of escape, 15:01 that is your red flag as I call warning signs are red flags. 15:05 I say get out, flee while you can, 15:07 flee while, you know, you have your life and your being 15:10 and you still have your self-esteem and your safe-- 15:13 because once that's tore down 15:15 it's really hard to separate from the relationship. 15:18 Oh, but Lez, I'm madly in love with this young man 15:22 and I just know that I can love him more 15:25 and I can bring him through this. 15:28 And I suggest to on that too is we cannot love a person 15:32 so much to the point where it would change them. 15:35 God said he doesn't have us to be ignored. 15:37 And He allows us to understand that 15:39 what is right and what is wrong. 15:41 You can't love a person enough to make them change. 15:43 You can't love a person to make them not be abusive. 15:47 They are gonna have to get that help himself. 15:48 And, you know, this is a, it's a sin sickness if you will, 15:51 but it's a sickness. Yes. 15:53 And it something that if you love that person 15:56 then you need to put boundaries on the relationship 16:00 and you need to step back 16:01 and you need to tell them you need counseling. 16:03 And let them get into counseling but not just a small period 16:08 and see then that, oh, yes I've changed. 16:11 It's got to be something that they go through counseling 16:14 and walk it out and you watch for few years 16:17 to witness this change, right. 16:18 A lot of times the abuser will say 16:20 that they want to get the counseling 16:22 and what they will do is they will get the counseling 16:24 but they want you to call the counselor for them, 16:27 set the counseling up but that's not them getting the counseling. 16:30 They should do that themselves. 16:32 And what they will do is they go a couple of times 16:35 or you might go with them a couple of times 16:37 and then after that they are right back into the situation 16:41 that they were at once before, they still abusing. 16:44 They haven't really totally changed. 16:45 You have to be spritually changed. 16:48 You know, and it's not just going to a counsel 16:50 you have to be change in Christ Jesus, 16:51 you have to be renewed in Christ Jesus, 16:53 you have be repented of that wickedness. 16:56 You know, and ask God to recreate in you a clean heart 16:59 and renew a right spirit within you. Amen, amen. 17:01 You know, it's kind of like what we read 17:04 at the beginning of the program in 2 Timothy 3:4 17:08 or Paul wrote and said, 17:09 if people are like this flee from them. 17:12 And it doesn't say, I mean, 17:14 we know that we have to reach out with the love of Christ. 17:16 But we need to flee from people like this. 17:19 Now let me ask you another question 17:20 because I think, you know, as we're sitting here 17:22 suddenly I'm thinking about all the times that I have prayed 17:26 and counsel from Scripture with people who are in situations. 17:29 One a young lady that's actually came to me 17:32 highly educated, her fiance was highly educated. 17:36 We kept seeing signs he was very condescending to her. 17:40 He would put her down with these little, 17:43 he was very passive aggressive 17:44 and you knew that she was getting wounded 17:47 but she just loved him so much 17:49 she thought that this marriage was going to be perfect 17:51 and it was not very long after they said I do. 17:56 And probably less than six hours 17:58 he started abusing her physical on their honeymoon. 18:03 And she actually stayed with him for about a year. 18:06 Just feeling like here she just gone through 18:09 this huge expensive wedding and she covered up 18:12 and didn't let anybody know what was going on 18:15 till it got really scary. 18:17 But my question was here we were as the family members 18:24 recognizing something is not healthy about this. 18:28 I know her mother talk to her, I know we mentioned it to her 18:31 and she just didn't see it. 18:35 Is it possible and we need to be talking to our audience now 18:39 that they maybe in a relationship 18:41 and they are hearing their family say, 18:43 you know, he's this, he's that 18:45 or maybe it's a man that's in a relationship 18:48 and he has got an abusive woman that is significant other 18:54 and the family is saying, 18:56 she is doing this, she is doing that, 18:58 or he is doing this, he is doing that. 19:00 Can family sometimes see something 19:02 that you are blinded by love? 19:05 Yes, the family usually 19:06 recognize the abuser faster than we do. 19:09 A lot of times we're blinded with relationship 19:11 because we're already in it. 19:12 And when you're in something you can't see outside. 19:16 But when the people on the outside see inside 19:18 that's when they can recognize that the abuser tactics 19:22 and his ways or her ways or whatever. 19:24 A lot of times we don't want to accept that. 19:26 We want to accept that well, nobody wants me to be happy 19:29 and they are just jealous 19:30 because I have a relationship and they don't. 19:32 You are just trying to destroy it and ruin it 19:33 and you don't want me to be happy. 19:35 A lot to time they feel that way but it's not that. 19:38 You know, it's to guide and to lead you 19:41 to let you know hey, we see this going on. 19:43 You need to recognize this. This is wrong. 19:46 We love you, we are here to support you, 19:47 we want you to be happy 19:48 that's why we letting you know that this is going on. 19:51 Family member can recognize the different warning signs 19:54 when you don't 'cause when you in you don't see out 19:57 and when you out you see in, yes. 19:59 Can you just pray this signs away? 20:01 I mean, can you just say, 20:02 okay, Lord, he is your son You deal with him 20:04 or he is Your daughter you deal with him. 20:06 Can you pray it away? 20:07 I, mean, I'm not saying through God all things are possible. 20:09 Yes, that's true. 20:10 But in most instances I mean, 20:13 God can only work with somebody 20:14 who's going to cooperate with Him 20:16 because God's not controlling. 20:18 He gives us the freedom of choice and free will. 20:21 So it is it something that when a Christians in this situation 20:25 that they are thinking whether harder I pray the more it help 20:28 or what steps should they take? 20:31 Well, sometimes we feel that we can pray things away 20:33 because Lord said, if we pray He will hear us 20:36 when we pray and He will help us. 20:38 But God says also to you 20:39 He doesn't have us to be ignorant. 20:41 Well, sometimes the help He gives us 20:42 is to give us a way out. Exactly. 20:44 so we can pray, you can pray for the individual 20:47 but you won't be able to pray away the warnings signs. 20:50 You want to be able to pray away what the abuser is doing to you. 20:53 You know you can't, you can pray for them 20:55 but you want to distance yourself 20:57 from the abusive relationship 20:58 and pray that the individual gets the help that they need 21:01 and that God will work with them to change and to repent. 21:04 And without repentance He is not gonna do anything. 21:07 The relationship is not going to bound back together that's-- 21:10 if it's a relationship that will be bound back together. 21:13 All relationships won't survive the abuse. 21:16 Isn't no guarantee that the relationship will bind together. 21:19 It's all on the individual and whether they are at, 21:22 you know, in a relationship with Christ. 21:24 But if we have a young mother who is watching 21:27 and she has children 21:30 and she is recognizing some of these warning signs 21:33 what would your counsel be to her or your advice? 21:38 Well, my advice will be to her is to pray 21:40 and ask God to work, to go to seek the help first. 21:43 Because well, God is the first help that we used to seek first. 21:46 And then prayer He will offer 21:48 and let us know what the steps that we should take. 21:50 But we do need to take steps and precautions 21:53 to separate yourself from the relationship. 21:55 There is numbers you can call, 21:58 there is hotline numbers you can call, 22:00 you can call 911, you can even call to police station. 22:03 They have domestic violence agencies 22:05 that we work with them also in the police departments 22:07 where they will get you to safe havens 22:10 and get you to domestic violence shelters. 22:12 I will suggest to them when they see the warning signs 22:15 start to prepare for a way of escape, 22:18 or safe way of the escape. 22:19 So what you're saying is that 22:21 these warning signs and recognizing them 22:23 could actually save your life or your children's life. 22:25 Yes it can save your life 22:26 and your children's life as well, yes. 22:28 And this is something that, you know, 22:31 one case, a woman that said that she'd be in grocery market 22:35 and her husband would never let her go 22:37 grocery shopping by herself 22:38 but when they'd leave to grocery market 22:40 he would be in a really bad mood 22:43 and he'd say I saw you looking that man's direction. 22:47 And he was so obsessively jealous of her 22:50 that if she smiled or-- 22:53 I witnessed her going from being a vibrant outgoing person 22:57 to suddenly becoming one who was so fearful 23:00 to make eye contact with especially a man 23:02 and what happened unfortunately 23:05 they divorced and went back together 23:07 and he had never lifted a hand to her 23:11 until after they remarried. 23:13 And he eventually killed her. 23:15 So it's something that, you know, 23:17 if you see these warning signs 23:19 you need to get your significant other some help 23:24 either they need, if you're only engaged 23:29 then for goodness sake get away from them for a while 23:32 and let them get that help. 23:34 And it may not go back together 23:36 but you don't want a relationship like that. 23:38 If you are already married 23:39 and you are living in these hell on earth 23:43 because you see these signs and its-- 23:45 these are no fun to go through in the beginning. 23:47 Just because someone hasn't taken a hammer to you yet 23:52 doesn't mean that it won't happen and sometimes, 23:54 sometimes it's not a gradual escalation, 23:58 sometimes it can be something that causes them to snap 24:01 and we hear cases all the time on the news 24:04 of people who've been killed by their spouse 24:07 or someone that they are even never met. 24:09 Because they think that they can change the abuser 24:11 and they feel that the abuser would be left alone without them 24:14 the abuser can't take care of themselves without them 24:16 because they're used to doing everything. 24:18 There is the guilt part of going back. 24:21 And when they go back someone who don't never leave home, 24:23 you know, some of them is-- 24:25 we've lost a lots of ladies and a lot of sisters 24:27 and brothers as well to domestic violence and it is out there. 24:31 And that something that was surprising you said to you. 24:33 You've been doing this since 2003 in this ministry 24:36 that you find out that there are 24:38 quite a few men who've been abused. 24:39 Yes, that's correct. 24:41 I know I work with a man who-- his fairly new bride-- 24:47 I think they've been married less than a year. 24:49 If she got mad at him she'd wait till he fell asleep 24:52 and she take a golf club to him. 24:53 And he was so embarrassed. 24:55 I shouldn't laugh when I say that. 24:57 It just sounds so amazing. 24:59 But he was so embarrassed to finally say that 25:02 and I told him, you know, 25:04 she is abusive and he was ashamed of that. 25:06 So we don't want to leave people feeling hopeless 25:10 because this is a mental sickness 25:14 and it something though that 25:16 often you'll find can be controlled. 25:18 I mean, there are people who abuse their first spouse 25:21 and never abuse their second spouse 25:22 because they say, well, that spouse won't take it. 25:25 So but we need to know that we want to reach out to this-- 25:29 the abuser as well for healing for them. 25:32 We're not trying to make anyone feel that 25:36 it's a hopeless situation but you need to be safe. 25:38 Yes, that's correct. 25:39 All right, go ahead. 25:41 So we want, you know, we just really want to encourage that, 25:43 you know, we do not just help the victim, 25:47 we also help the abuser, you know, as well 25:49 to recognize that they do have a problem. 25:51 And that The--happened 25:52 and a solution out there to help them with their problem 25:55 and their illness and that it takes a little time. 25:58 But recognizing that you are an abuser actually, 26:02 you know, helps a whole life. 26:04 When you recognize that you are an abuser 26:06 and that you do need the help and that the help is out there 26:09 and your willing to get the help, 26:11 you know, it's the blessing to do that. 26:12 You know, we just want to encourage that. 26:14 It's not just females and, you know, 26:16 that are victims of domestic violence. 26:19 There are also males that are victims of abuse as well. 26:22 So it's not just a one way thing here. 26:23 We do have men that are actually being abuse. 26:25 And yes it's embarrassing to, 26:29 you know, to have it out and open 26:30 to let people know that you're being abuse 26:32 as a male but it does happen. 26:34 There's a shame factor either way I guess. 26:36 Lez, thank you so much for coming back 26:38 and you will return we want to talk 26:40 about the healing end of this and the support 26:42 but we're so thankful that you've been here to share today. 26:46 And I just want to talk with you at home for just a moment. 26:49 Perhaps as you're watching this program 26:51 you recognize there are some of these warning signs 26:53 either in a relationship that involves you personally 26:57 or perhaps with one of your children 26:59 you see that they are involve in a relationship with that 27:02 or maybe a friend. 27:04 We want to encourage you 27:05 there are support groups out there 27:08 that you can contact and get in touch with someone. 27:12 Call you local mental health center 27:14 and find where there are support groups 27:16 if you don't have access to the internet. 27:18 But if you are an abuser, 27:20 I want to speak to you for just a moment. 27:24 Jesus Christ loves you even though 27:27 you maybe as messed up in the mind as you are 27:31 and there is hope for you for change 27:33 and I want to encourage you 27:35 if this is something that you recognize yourself 27:38 in some of these signs of abuse go talk with the pastor, 27:41 go find some counseling, some Christian counseling 27:44 because God is a God of new beginnings 27:47 and He can change things for you. 27:50 He can make you a new creation in Christ Jesus. |
Revised 2014-12-17