Hello I am Shelley Quinn
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and welcome again
to Issues and Answers.
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Today we are
gonna be talking about
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the role of motherhood
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and the role of being the
wife and what it's all about.
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You know, the Bible
talks in Proverbs 31,
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Solomon was writing
this and he says in verse 10
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he is talking
about the virtuous woman
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and his says that,
"The heart of her husband
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trusts in her confidently."
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And he goes on in verse 27,
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to say, "She looks well to
how things go in her household
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and the bread of
idleness she will not eat.
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Her children rise
up and call her blessed
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and her husband praises her."
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When we think
about motherhood today
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can't it be confusing sometimes
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because there are so many
roles that mothers are playing.
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But you know what?
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Even in Solomon's
day the virtuous woman
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was multitasking quite a bit.
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Here to talk with us
today about this topic
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returning is Julie
Norton and Ken Norton.
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We are so thankful
that you are back again.
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Julie, this is going
to be your turn to talk.
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Now you all are
from Orlando, Florida
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with LIFE that's an acronym
tell us what that stands for.
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It stands for the Lay
Institute for Evangelism
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and we are lay training school.
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We exist to train lay
people in any area of ministry
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that they would
like to be trained in.
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That's wonderful.
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Now how many
children do you and Ken have?
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We have two
children a ten year old boy
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and a seven year old daughter.
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Oh, that's wonderful.
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You did it
right, to you had the--
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oh, I was
wondering older brother.
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So you had the boy first, right.
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So now were you a Pastor Ken
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when you married Julie?
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Well, when we were married
we were still in college so--
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We were studying. I was
studying to be a pastor.
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So you knew that you
were gonna be a pastor,
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become a pastor as well. Yes.
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And did you know
you are going to go off
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to the missionary fields
and live such a dangerous
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and exciting life as you did?
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Well, that's what
we had wanting to do.
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We had committed
that that's we want to go
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where ever God let us
to go. That's wonderful.
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When we were talking
about our topic today
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we are going to
take a biblical look
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at the role of motherhood.
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Now I know this is something
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that you take very
seriously in your personal life,
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the personal application of
this but you also teach on this.
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So why don't you share with us
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what the Bible has to say.
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Well, we talked about in
the past like past-- Programs
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Program, thank
you, of the husband
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and the father role he
has a spiritual leader.
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Well, now I'm
looking more specifically
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of what the wife
and the mother has.
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It really is I
like to talk about it
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as she is the glue that
holds all the pieces together
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and particularly in molding
the children's characters.
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Many times the, the
husband has to go out
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and work a lot and
then the mother comes home,
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if the husband has a job late
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she is the one who feed them
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and even if she works full time.
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It seems like she
has more influence
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and is present
in the child's life.
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So really she has
the great responsibility
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of raising the child
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and to make the
character to grow like Christ.
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You know, I always tell people
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when I am doing especially
the Women's Retreat I will say.
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How many of you
are full time ministry?
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And there will be this little
smattering of hands that go up.
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And I will say, well, now
how many of you are mothers?
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So then all these
hands are going up.
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And I say wait a minute,
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let me ask you
this question again.
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How many of you are
in full time ministry?
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All those mothers
hands should be going up
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because to me we unfortunately
we are unable to have children.
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I wanted six
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but to me motherhood is
the one of the highest callings
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to ministry that there is. Yes.
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And that's what
you are taking about.
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Yes, and I want to talk
about that in a little while.
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In that we are so multitasked
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but yet we feel guilty
that we are not doing more.
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But I want to start by
just reading through this,
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this large portion
here of a virtuous wife
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in Proverbs 31:10 through 31.
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I just think
it's really important
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because it really lays a
picture of all the things
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that a woman does and
what she is responsible for.
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"Who can find a virtuous wife?
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For her worth is
far above rubies.
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The heart of her
husband safely trusts her,
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so he will have no lack of gain.
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She does him good and not
evil All the days of her life."
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So she takes good care
of him, then she goes on,
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"She seeks wool and flax,
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and willingly
works with her hands.
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She is like the merchant ships,
she brings her food from afar.
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She also rises
while it is yet night,
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and provides food for her
household," starts building.
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You think, wow, you
know, if it keeps going.
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"And a portion
for her maidservants.
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She considers a
field and buys it,
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from her profits
she plants a vineyard.
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She girds herself with strength,
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and strengthens her arms.
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She perceives that
her merchandise is good,
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and her lamp does
not go out by night.
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She stretches out
her hands to the distaff,
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and her hand holds the spindle".
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So she works very
hard in so many things.
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I kind of jump in for a
second. Okay keep going.
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No, it's very interesting
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because as a man reading this
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you instantly
think wait a second
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the man is supposed
to be the business person
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of the household.
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But you know this is interesting
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because as you
are going through this
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she is the one that does what--
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she goes out to the
field. And considers it.
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And considers it and
does all the speculating
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and makes sure it's a good field
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and so forth and then
she is the one to buys that.
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When usually
the role is reversed
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the man is
expected to be the one
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to make the big decisions,
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but I like that I
think it's interesting.
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And I use this scripture here
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when its talking about
these various things to
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when woman say, is
it okay for a women
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to work outside the home?
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Some women have to work
outside the home. That's right.
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And yes it's okay,
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but I do know in
my grandparent's life
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especially in their earlier life
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my grandmother was much
more shrude about business
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and she was
much better dealmaker
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than my grandfather was.
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And it was because of her ways
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that they actually
flourished financially
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and did well
so. Praise the Lord.
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And you know that's
the way our marriage is too
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because I am terrible--
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if I am going to sell something
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I mean we can
plan all the time about
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leaving the seminary in Michigan
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and I think about I
basically gave away the couch,
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you know I sold this really nice
propane heater for ten bugs.
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I told him to
leave our garage sale
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because he was
giving the things away.
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She kicks me out.
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She said get out of
here, you're just giving away.
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So that's good,
goes along with that.
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And many times the woman they,
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they perceive
things are very discerning
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and then they can
help their husband along.
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I know that if the character
goes with both but anyway.
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Let's continue.
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In verse 19 alright its verse 20
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"She extends her
hand to the poor,
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yes, she reaches out
her hands to the needy."
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So not only as she
taking care of her husband
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and her--provide
food for households,
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she buys things, she can--
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you know making sure
everything goes well.
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She not only does that
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she extends her
hand to the needy.
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So she has a ministry.
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No wonder it says a
virtuous woman who can find her.
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Yes, incredible
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"She is not afraid of
snow for her household,
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for all her household
is clothed with scarlet."
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So she makes sure that
everyone clothed properly.
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"She makes tapestry for herself,
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her clothing is
fine linen and purple.
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Her husband is
known in the gates,
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when he sits among
the elders of the land."
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So she makes
him look good. Amen.
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"She makes linen
garments and sells them,
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and supplies
sashes for the merchants.
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Strength and
honor are her clothing,
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she shall
rejoice in time to come.
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She opens her mouth with wisdom"
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so she is wise
on top of everything
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"and on her tongue
is the law of kindness.
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She watches over the
ways of her household,
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and does not eat
the bread of idleness."
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Of course not
look at all she does.
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"Her children rise
up and call her blessed,
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and her husband
also, and he praises her.
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'My daughters have done
well, but you excel them all.'
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Charm is deceitful
and beauty is vain,
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but a woman who fears the Lord,
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she shall be praised.
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Give her of the
fruit of her hands,
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and let her own works
praise her in the gates."
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You know in this verse 26 in
the amplified version it says
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"She opens her mouth in
skillful and godly Wisdom."
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Capital W.
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So it's really
this is showing that
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she is also when she
opens her mouth in wisdom
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that she is really a woman
who is knowledge of the Bible
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and that she is
using biblical principles.
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And I think that's what--
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that text comes
out and in verse 30
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"But a woman who
fears the Lord." Absolutely.
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She has that
relationship with God
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and I really think in
the basic element of this
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and every thing that a woman
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whether she has children or not
00:10:06.93\00:10:09.36
has such a responsibility.
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But the only way to carry that
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and be able to be
kind and all the--
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the attributes a woman
suppose to have is that
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deep relationship that
she developed with Jesus.
00:10:17.48\00:10:19.43
And you know, you just hit on it
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because I am
sitting her and thinking
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there's
probably some poor mother
00:10:21.88\00:10:23.38
sitting at home and thinking,
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Oy vey, you know. Yes.
00:10:25.81\00:10:27.56
I have got so
many responsibilities
00:10:27.59\00:10:29.97
and yet this is
kind of the standard
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by which I
should be trying to live
00:10:32.42\00:10:34.63
and some people feel they fall
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so short of God's
standard and we all do.
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I mean, there is times that,
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you know, there life
is getting to the point
00:10:42.38\00:10:47.51
that we go such a frantic phase
00:10:47.54\00:10:50.76
and I told my
husband the other day
00:10:50.79\00:10:52.70
I just finished meeting
00:10:52.73\00:10:54.58
a major deadline
on a major project.
00:10:54.61\00:10:58.12
And he was like
okay, you can relax.
00:10:58.15\00:11:00.59
And I said, I have
got three more deadlines
00:11:00.62\00:11:03.02
just backed up.
00:11:03.05\00:11:04.21
There's never a moment
00:11:04.24\00:11:05.27
where you feel
like you can just go.
00:11:05.30\00:11:07.18
Aha and I know if I
am feeling like this,
00:11:07.21\00:11:10.71
what does a
single mother feel like.
00:11:10.74\00:11:12.64
You know what is that someone
00:11:12.67\00:11:13.88
who has several small
children like yourself even.
00:11:13.91\00:11:16.92
There must be
times that it becomes
00:11:16.95\00:11:19.58
overwhelming to so many women,
00:11:19.61\00:11:22.23
unless and
until they can develop
00:11:22.26\00:11:25.24
that personal
relationship with God
00:11:25.27\00:11:28.13
and He helps them
set the priorities.
00:11:28.16\00:11:30.41
Because we got-- you know,
00:11:30.44\00:11:31.75
even though we are
reading all of this,
00:11:31.78\00:11:33.46
this is a woman who obviously
00:11:33.49\00:11:35.92
is doing it all in
the strength of the Lord
00:11:35.95\00:11:38.71
and we can't, she
is not superwoman,
00:11:38.74\00:11:41.13
she is not out
here doing it herself
00:11:41.16\00:11:42.97
because that
wouldn't be Godly wisdom.
00:11:43.00\00:11:45.43
Now, and we-- I
think its very difficult
00:11:45.46\00:11:49.35
for woman as whole to
not compare themselves
00:11:49.38\00:11:51.97
with the woman next door
or their friend at church,
00:11:52.00\00:11:55.82
there-- who
always trying to compare
00:11:55.85\00:11:57.84
and that's just one
of our faults I think.
00:11:57.87\00:12:00.54
And then to take time to
stop and to ask the Lord,
00:12:00.57\00:12:04.41
you know, you
have given me talent
00:12:04.44\00:12:05.94
and strengths help me
to be happy with myself
00:12:05.97\00:12:08.39
and to shine how
You want me to shine.
00:12:08.42\00:12:10.78
Not as my best
friend or my neighbor.
00:12:10.81\00:12:13.25
Who is the domestic
diva that can do anything?
00:12:13.28\00:12:16.14
Oh, yes, it seems
like so many women
00:12:16.17\00:12:17.72
they can brag about so
many things they have done
00:12:17.75\00:12:20.11
and it makes you
feel not very good.
00:12:20.14\00:12:22.11
But to say, you know, Lord
00:12:22.14\00:12:23.39
I am confident in
what You have made of me.
00:12:23.42\00:12:25.78
Help me to shine and do what--
00:12:25.81\00:12:27.70
what You have
asked me to do. Amen.
00:12:27.73\00:12:31.37
And on top of this
00:12:31.40\00:12:35.24
I want to
specifically talk about
00:12:35.27\00:12:36.90
mothers with their children.
00:12:36.93\00:12:38.96
I just had-- it brought to mind
00:12:38.99\00:12:40.53
because I was just
talking with another mom
00:12:40.56\00:12:43.21
that working full time
00:12:43.24\00:12:45.01
and teach children about
the same age as my children
00:12:45.04\00:12:47.82
and she says, you
know, I feel guilty that,
00:12:47.85\00:12:50.76
that I am not doing ministry
00:12:50.79\00:12:52.57
because you know I am so
busy at work and raising my kids
00:12:52.60\00:12:56.94
and I have got
these people around me
00:12:56.97\00:12:58.63
that don't know about Jesus
00:12:58.66\00:13:00.28
and I stop her and said you
know, just hold on a minute.
00:13:00.31\00:13:04.54
You think about the two children
that you have in your house,
00:13:04.57\00:13:08.85
that's the ministry
that the Lord is given you
00:13:08.88\00:13:11.39
right at this time.
00:13:11.42\00:13:13.25
They are your,
they are your little,
00:13:13.28\00:13:16.58
you're missionary to
those. Little disciples.
00:13:16.61\00:13:18.72
Very little
disciples and if you loose them
00:13:18.75\00:13:22.05
because you are so
busy doing other things
00:13:22.08\00:13:24.89
and you are letting
them raise themselves
00:13:24.92\00:13:27.17
and you loose them
00:13:27.20\00:13:28.38
well it what
really you have to gain.
00:13:28.41\00:13:30.00
Exactly. So--
00:13:30.03\00:13:31.46
And they grow up
so quickly don't they?
00:13:31.49\00:13:33.40
Oh, they do.
00:13:33.43\00:13:35.70
You know, my son
is just 10 years old
00:13:35.73\00:13:38.10
but I look at the past 10 years
00:13:38.13\00:13:39.69
and I think wow, you
know where has the time gone
00:13:39.72\00:13:42.80
and I think another
10 years he is gone.
00:13:42.83\00:13:45.30
That's it and so to raise
them with this strong character.
00:13:45.33\00:13:51.27
And I think biblical wise
00:13:51.30\00:13:55.26
some of the major
strong characters of the Bible
00:13:55.29\00:13:58.46
had mothers that
were strong with the Lord.
00:13:58.49\00:14:02.61
One, I think
about Hannah. Samuel.
00:14:02.64\00:14:06.99
The mother of Samuel,
00:14:07.02\00:14:08.20
she only had him for seven years
00:14:08.23\00:14:10.09
those formidable years
00:14:10.12\00:14:12.40
but the character
that she laid on him.
00:14:12.43\00:14:15.90
And then--as the story
is in record of his history
00:14:15.93\00:14:20.90
is that Hannah
desperately wanted a child
00:14:20.93\00:14:24.00
and couldn't conceive
00:14:24.03\00:14:25.48
and she cried her eyes
out to the Lord in the temple
00:14:25.51\00:14:28.14
wanting a child
and God granted that.
00:14:28.17\00:14:30.82
Because she actually told Him,
00:14:30.85\00:14:32.74
if You will give me a child
00:14:32.77\00:14:34.75
I will dedicate
him to Your service.
00:14:34.78\00:14:36.78
So once he was at that
winning age of seven years
00:14:36.81\00:14:42.05
she brought him to the temple
00:14:42.08\00:14:43.84
and she dedicated him
to the service of the Lord.
00:14:43.87\00:14:46.12
So he grew up and became a
mighty priest of God as well.
00:14:46.15\00:14:50.45
Yes and I think
also about Jochebed.
00:14:50.48\00:14:53.80
A lot of people
say who is Jochebed?
00:14:53.83\00:14:55.70
Well, that was Moses 's mother
00:14:55.73\00:14:58.98
and--and she also had
him for only a short time
00:14:59.01\00:15:04.30
and the character the
things that she taught him
00:15:04.33\00:15:07.22
before he went
to Pharaoh's palace
00:15:07.25\00:15:10.70
gave him that strong foundation
00:15:10.73\00:15:12.64
that even when he was
surrounded by heathenism.
00:15:12.67\00:15:14.93
Now explain because
there's going to some
00:15:14.96\00:15:17.20
who, either you
can or I can but why--
00:15:17.23\00:15:19.88
why did she have him
for that period of time
00:15:19.91\00:15:22.28
if she put him in the river
as a baby in the reed basket,
00:15:22.31\00:15:27.18
how is that she
ended up having him
00:15:27.21\00:15:29.09
till he was seven years old.
00:15:29.12\00:15:30.84
Pharaoh's daughter
found him in a basket
00:15:30.87\00:15:34.80
and then Mosses Sister Miriam
00:15:34.83\00:15:39.58
came up to the
Pharaoh's daughter
00:15:39.61\00:15:41.26
and said don't
you need to nurse mate
00:15:41.29\00:15:43.65
to help raise this child?
00:15:43.68\00:15:45.41
And she said yes, I do.
00:15:45.44\00:15:47.50
And so Moses is actually
given back to his mother
00:15:47.53\00:15:51.57
Jochebed for a
few years, to raise
00:15:51.60\00:15:54.03
until he was old enough
to go live into the palace.
00:15:54.06\00:15:56.84
And she must have planted
00:15:56.87\00:15:58.09
a lot of good things in
him at that point of time.
00:15:58.12\00:16:00.74
I think the Lord protected him
00:16:00.77\00:16:02.45
in those formidable years
00:16:02.48\00:16:04.10
to lay that
strong foundation that
00:16:04.13\00:16:06.55
when he was away, like
I said in Pharaoh's palace
00:16:06.58\00:16:09.89
with all heathenism
00:16:09.92\00:16:11.39
and different
religions going on about him,
00:16:11.42\00:16:14.50
he-- he knew his God
00:16:14.53\00:16:16.80
and what he
was-- what he was about
00:16:16.83\00:16:18.71
and what he was born for. So--
00:16:18.74\00:16:22.45
I am thinking
conspiracy theory here.
00:16:22.48\00:16:24.52
Okay. We'll jump
a direction here.
00:16:24.55\00:16:26.87
You know, we talked about
the husbands and the fathers,
00:16:26.90\00:16:30.08
Satan has a special--
we have our weaknesses
00:16:30.11\00:16:32.84
so he attacks us in certain ways
00:16:32.87\00:16:34.58
especially as
being the house band
00:16:34.61\00:16:36.51
and keeping the
whole family together.
00:16:36.54\00:16:38.54
But as I am
sitting here listening
00:16:38.57\00:16:40.22
as we read through Proverbs 31,
00:16:40.25\00:16:41.72
I am wondering how
00:16:41.75\00:16:43.59
what is Satan's
special attack on mothers.
00:16:43.62\00:16:46.97
You know, and I think as you--
00:16:47.00\00:16:48.89
as we talk and I
have been listening about
00:16:48.92\00:16:51.29
the mother is being the one
00:16:51.32\00:16:52.41
that shape the
character of the children
00:16:52.44\00:16:54.23
and being so important
in those-- in those years
00:16:54.26\00:16:56.78
because their father in
most cases is out working.
00:16:56.81\00:17:00.03
I mean, unless it's a Mr.
Mom and the mom has a degree
00:17:00.06\00:17:02.92
and she is gone to
work and the dad stays home.
00:17:02.95\00:17:04.75
For the most cases the father
is the one that's out working.
00:17:04.78\00:17:07.28
So the mother is the
one that has the children
00:17:07.31\00:17:09.11
all the way up
through school age
00:17:09.14\00:17:10.65
I mean in the modern time.
00:17:10.68\00:17:12.21
That those years are the
years where everything is shaped
00:17:12.24\00:17:16.00
and so I am sitting and thinking
00:17:16.03\00:17:17.39
how, what is Satan's--
00:17:17.42\00:17:19.68
what would Satan's special
attack be on mothers today.
00:17:19.71\00:17:23.62
To try to get her
attention off those children
00:17:23.65\00:17:26.74
when they are in this those
formative years. I think so.
00:17:26.77\00:17:29.46
I knows this is
Issues and Answers
00:17:29.49\00:17:30.70
but I don't have a, I don't
have any answers for that part.
00:17:30.73\00:17:33.18
But I am just thinking
that there has to be some,
00:17:33.21\00:17:36.47
there has to be some way to,
00:17:36.50\00:17:37.97
to either make her see
00:17:38.00\00:17:40.28
her position is
not that important
00:17:40.31\00:17:42.07
that she would rather
let the TV raise the kid,
00:17:42.10\00:17:44.41
then her raise them.
00:17:44.44\00:17:45.64
You know in those, in
those situations. Well I think--
00:17:45.67\00:17:47.88
That's what Satan
tries to do. That's right.
00:17:47.91\00:17:50.39
We are so busy that by the time
00:17:50.42\00:17:52.42
we come home from
work if we are working,
00:17:52.45\00:17:55.02
that we have to cook supper,
00:17:55.05\00:17:56.56
we have to you know,
take care of the needs,
00:17:56.59\00:17:58.27
wash cloths, wash dishes.
00:17:58.30\00:18:00.63
Yeah, that its
easier to a Xbox or the Wii
00:18:00.66\00:18:06.94
or whatever
entertain the children then
00:18:06.97\00:18:10.50
and have them quite so
you can take care of the,
00:18:10.53\00:18:13.49
the needs of
the home by the time
00:18:13.52\00:18:15.78
you are done with
the needs of the home,
00:18:15.81\00:18:17.05
its time to put the child to bed
00:18:17.08\00:18:18.65
and you really haven't
interacted with your child.
00:18:18.68\00:18:20.63
You know, I think, I
meet a lot of parents
00:18:20.66\00:18:23.14
and I think this sort of
woman that have this problem
00:18:23.17\00:18:26.67
I think this would
have been my problem as well
00:18:26.70\00:18:28.92
is that they
feel this necessarily
00:18:28.95\00:18:31.99
to have keep
everything just right
00:18:32.02\00:18:35.40
and have this
wonderful presentable home.
00:18:35.43\00:18:38.78
And I think some
times that's a trap
00:18:38.81\00:18:41.38
because one mother I
met we went to visit her
00:18:41.41\00:18:45.19
and she was in the middle
of floor playing with her kids
00:18:45.22\00:18:48.46
and she says I
know the house is a mess
00:18:48.49\00:18:50.50
but this only time I really
have to spend with my kids.
00:18:50.53\00:18:53.50
And I think that sometimes
00:18:53.53\00:18:54.73
we can get so
caught up in this idea
00:18:54.76\00:18:57.28
of having to do it all
00:18:57.31\00:18:59.82
that we can
forget to really interact
00:18:59.85\00:19:04.40
with the ones
that are closest to us,
00:19:04.43\00:19:06.16
with those little ones.
00:19:06.19\00:19:07.73
But again if a
mother is working,
00:19:07.76\00:19:10.34
yeah, of course if
you are a single mother
00:19:10.37\00:19:12.22
I don't know how-- that's--
00:19:12.25\00:19:13.28
You have to. The Lord blesses.
00:19:13.31\00:19:15.09
Yes, and we have to
have a special grace.
00:19:15.12\00:19:17.09
But this is a good
time for you to jump in,
00:19:17.12\00:19:19.02
clear the conspiracy thing.
00:19:19.05\00:19:20.81
To jump in and talk about
00:19:20.84\00:19:22.10
if a mother is
working and married
00:19:22.13\00:19:24.78
the husband
needs to learn to share
00:19:24.81\00:19:26.95
in these household duties
00:19:26.98\00:19:28.24
so that each
parent can have time
00:19:28.27\00:19:30.48
to spend with the children.
00:19:30.51\00:19:31.54
Yeah, I agree
and that's something
00:19:31.57\00:19:33.44
in our own
marriage and as we have kids
00:19:33.47\00:19:35.66
you know you wish that
00:19:35.69\00:19:36.72
you could take in
college a parenting 101.
00:19:36.75\00:19:40.05
You know, there
really is-- its nothing.
00:19:40.08\00:19:42.19
I mean there is nothing there
00:19:42.22\00:19:44.53
that you have to
go through a course
00:19:44.56\00:19:46.24
in order for the state says
00:19:46.27\00:19:47.44
for you to be
able to have a child
00:19:47.47\00:19:48.80
you have to go through such a--
00:19:48.83\00:19:49.86
it almost be good if that happen
00:19:49.89\00:19:51.26
because then you would learned
00:19:51.29\00:19:52.49
but I think that as
you have the child that--
00:19:52.52\00:19:56.67
you work it out.
00:19:56.70\00:19:57.73
I mean, because
the wife will say look,
00:19:57.76\00:19:59.28
you know, can you help
me in this. Give me a break.
00:19:59.31\00:20:00.98
That's right, in
this area or whatever
00:20:01.01\00:20:02.58
so, I think its
something that happens.
00:20:02.61\00:20:04.02
We always have a
choke that when--
00:20:04.05\00:20:07.37
a mother watches a
child they are not babysitting
00:20:07.40\00:20:10.22
they are watching the children.
00:20:10.25\00:20:11.78
But when they turn
to husband they'll say
00:20:11.81\00:20:13.34
can you baby sit the
kids for a couple of hours.
00:20:13.37\00:20:16.29
It's like that he is
an external care taker
00:20:16.32\00:20:19.43
that it's not part of his
role to take care of the kids.
00:20:19.46\00:20:23.27
And so even-- even in the way
00:20:23.30\00:20:25.30
we interact with
each other realize
00:20:25.33\00:20:27.95
oh yeah, you know, you are
not babysitting your child,
00:20:27.98\00:20:30.62
they are just as much as
your children as they are mine.
00:20:30.65\00:20:34.26
He is not babysitting, he is
spending time with is children.
00:20:34.29\00:20:37.44
So in taking turns, you
know, one others those things.
00:20:37.47\00:20:41.07
And for me I have to admit my--
00:20:41.10\00:20:44.32
I am working full time,
my children are in school
00:20:44.35\00:20:48.11
and I have a weakness
00:20:48.14\00:20:49.97
of wanting my
house to be perfect
00:20:50.00\00:20:52.11
so that when people come over
00:20:52.14\00:20:53.44
they see that I
have it all put together.
00:20:53.47\00:20:55.93
And then I think its
very good though to recognize
00:20:55.96\00:20:59.15
and admit the
weaknesses that you have
00:20:59.18\00:21:02.67
and then to say you
know its okay, Lord help me.
00:21:02.70\00:21:06.13
I am not gonna
look at the dishes.
00:21:06.16\00:21:08.11
This day with my child,
00:21:08.14\00:21:09.39
tomorrow my child is
going to be a day older
00:21:09.42\00:21:12.21
and I won't have this day today.
00:21:12.24\00:21:13.96
Let me spend some time with them
00:21:13.99\00:21:15.69
helping them to
do their homework
00:21:15.72\00:21:16.94
or playing a game with them.
00:21:16.97\00:21:18.25
And you know, sometimes
00:21:18.28\00:21:19.31
it's just a
matter of organization
00:21:19.34\00:21:21.15
and things, you know,
one thing that I do of
00:21:21.18\00:21:24.45
because I just
confess help me Lord,
00:21:24.48\00:21:27.96
but He is trying that
there is something growing up
00:21:27.99\00:21:32.01
in a very
dysfunctional environment.
00:21:32.04\00:21:34.28
I always felt like I had
to be perfect to be loved
00:21:34.31\00:21:36.41
and part of that still
spills over occasionally
00:21:36.44\00:21:39.04
and this perfectionism
00:21:39.07\00:21:40.29
and have to be
careful about that,
00:21:40.32\00:21:42.01
you know, even in the home.
00:21:42.04\00:21:43.56
But one thing that
I do is every night
00:21:43.59\00:21:45.55
before I go to
bed, you are tying up
00:21:45.58\00:21:47.99
you know make sure that
00:21:48.02\00:21:50.73
it's I like to make
up neat the next day
00:21:50.76\00:21:53.30
and if people in the home
00:21:53.33\00:21:55.47
I am talking
especially children as they grow
00:21:55.50\00:21:57.30
where they can be taught
to tidy up behind themselves
00:21:57.33\00:22:00.06
and there isn't a huge mess
00:22:00.09\00:22:01.36
for mom and dad to pickup. Yeah.
00:22:01.39\00:22:02.68
And we found too that--
that time before the dishes
00:22:02.71\00:22:06.68
can wait till after the kids
go to bed. That's the point.
00:22:06.71\00:22:08.60
You know those
things we spend the time
00:22:08.63\00:22:11.53
when we get home from work,
00:22:11.56\00:22:12.69
interacting with
them and being with them
00:22:12.72\00:22:14.30
and doing something.
00:22:14.33\00:22:15.36
So after they go to
the bed then we are like
00:22:15.39\00:22:17.54
okay, we like to relax
too but we have taken the time
00:22:17.57\00:22:20.01
and now let's clean up or
do whatever we need to do.
00:22:20.04\00:22:24.58
I think as we are talking about
00:22:24.61\00:22:26.19
molding the
children's character,
00:22:26.22\00:22:27.57
spending time
with them since they--
00:22:27.60\00:22:30.32
we are molding their characters
00:22:30.35\00:22:31.67
they are
learning from our example.
00:22:31.70\00:22:33.97
More than more
than by your words.
00:22:34.00\00:22:35.87
Yes, our actions and so if,
00:22:35.90\00:22:38.16
if we want them
to be missionaries
00:22:38.19\00:22:40.86
we too need to show them
00:22:40.89\00:22:43.95
what it is like
to be missionary.
00:22:43.98\00:22:45.42
And you would so you think
00:22:45.45\00:22:46.77
you know when it talks about
00:22:46.80\00:22:48.49
she extends her
hand to the poor.
00:22:48.52\00:22:49.97
You think, well
how can I do that
00:22:50.00\00:22:51.04
when I work full time or
00:22:51.07\00:22:54.05
and I am trying
to raise my kids,
00:22:54.08\00:22:55.11
or I am home
schooling my children
00:22:55.14\00:22:57.24
and then I am
still trying to take care
00:22:57.27\00:22:58.54
of the needs around me.
00:22:58.57\00:23:01.05
For me I am just sharing
00:23:01.08\00:23:02.67
from my practical
personal experience is that
00:23:02.70\00:23:07.42
the little things
that I-- that I do for me
00:23:07.45\00:23:10.36
or my passion is
friendship evangelism.
00:23:10.39\00:23:12.86
Some people might
think oh, you know,
00:23:12.89\00:23:14.28
taking walk
around the neighborhood
00:23:14.31\00:23:15.87
isn't really
witnessing to anybody.
00:23:15.90\00:23:18.47
But as we take our evening walk
00:23:18.50\00:23:20.71
around the
neighborhood people are out
00:23:20.74\00:23:23.30
and, you know,
you say hello at first
00:23:23.33\00:23:25.35
or whatever you are building
the relationships with them
00:23:25.38\00:23:28.43
and in seeing the need of
00:23:28.46\00:23:31.31
as you are building the
relationships then your,
00:23:31.34\00:23:34.42
your sometimes
those doorways are open
00:23:34.45\00:23:37.71
where you know you take
some bread over to a neighbor.
00:23:37.74\00:23:40.21
So why you-- well, I bake bread.
00:23:40.24\00:23:42.44
Why you making two loaves?
00:23:42.47\00:23:43.98
I am going to take it to
our neighbor two doors down.
00:23:44.01\00:23:46.01
Let's take it to the
neighbor two doors down.
00:23:46.04\00:23:48.12
So they see that that
even in the daily tasks
00:23:48.15\00:23:52.01
that I am not
just doing for myself
00:23:52.04\00:23:53.97
that I am giving to others.
00:23:54.00\00:23:57.02
The one lady that asked me about
00:23:57.05\00:23:59.59
well, I fell guilty about
00:23:59.62\00:24:02.00
not reaching
out to my neighbors.
00:24:02.03\00:24:03.32
I see other moms with children
00:24:03.35\00:24:05.84
and I, I am not doing anything.
00:24:05.87\00:24:08.41
So well, you know what
00:24:08.44\00:24:09.75
because she felt
that if she did ministry
00:24:09.78\00:24:12.52
it was going to be
separate from her kids.
00:24:12.55\00:24:14.42
And I said no.
00:24:14.45\00:24:15.53
Think about having
00:24:15.56\00:24:16.67
to incorporate
them into your ministry.
00:24:16.70\00:24:20.01
So you if you don't
work you can do a like
00:24:20.04\00:24:24.04
once a month tea at your house.
00:24:24.07\00:24:27.06
We call it a tea where,
00:24:27.09\00:24:28.12
you know, mothers
it will get together,
00:24:28.15\00:24:29.79
where the
children have the play day
00:24:29.82\00:24:31.48
and the mothers can
get together for an hour.
00:24:31.51\00:24:35.06
There are so many
things that, that you can do.
00:24:35.09\00:24:38.20
Or in the evening time
00:24:38.23\00:24:39.68
if you are working once a month
00:24:39.71\00:24:41.90
having a few of your
neighbors over acquaintance over
00:24:41.93\00:24:45.72
that have children your same age
00:24:45.75\00:24:48.42
these are also
other ways you can,
00:24:48.45\00:24:50.50
you can reach out and still
include your, you know, family.
00:24:50.53\00:24:53.10
You know and there is
always special occasions that
00:24:53.13\00:24:57.71
when people are buying
presents for their own family
00:24:57.74\00:25:00.08
that you can have your children
00:25:00.11\00:25:01.95
pick out something to
take to a drive for the poor
00:25:01.98\00:25:07.12
and needy or you can
have them take things,
00:25:07.15\00:25:10.74
you know, show
them that you are taking
00:25:10.77\00:25:12.51
food to the food bank
00:25:12.54\00:25:13.90
or may be going
through and saying you got,
00:25:13.93\00:25:16.71
you know, your toys are we
got to make room for new toys
00:25:16.74\00:25:19.41
so let's share
these with others.
00:25:19.44\00:25:22.00
There are so many
things that you can do
00:25:22.03\00:25:23.72
to show your little children
that you are reaching out
00:25:23.75\00:25:26.30
to help the poor
and needy. That's right.
00:25:26.33\00:25:27.60
And I--I especially remember
when the kids were in school
00:25:27.63\00:25:30.98
and I mean many
times I come home
00:25:31.01\00:25:34.24
and then I will be
climbing in the car
00:25:34.27\00:25:35.56
with some strangers
to go to a park sermon.
00:25:35.59\00:25:37.58
Because she had been out
walking around the neighborhood,
00:25:37.61\00:25:40.05
down some other mother pushing,
00:25:40.08\00:25:41.99
you know, the
stroller and she says like,
00:25:42.02\00:25:44.22
you know, we are
going to the park with them.
00:25:44.25\00:25:45.88
You know them.
Oh, I who are they?
00:25:45.91\00:25:47.39
You know-- but this was a burden
00:25:47.42\00:25:49.61
she had to be able to
make friends with other mothers
00:25:49.64\00:25:52.34
and others in the neighborhood
00:25:52.37\00:25:54.01
and that's
something through the--
00:25:54.04\00:25:57.61
through the purpose of
00:25:57.64\00:25:59.56
I sensed not only being
able to shape the character
00:25:59.59\00:26:03.66
but showing the kids look let's,
00:26:03.69\00:26:06.08
let's make
fellowship with other people
00:26:06.11\00:26:08.38
for the purpose of
connecting them to Jesus Christ.
00:26:08.41\00:26:11.02
Then talking about their
needs and so forth and so.
00:26:11.05\00:26:13.88
And your children will emulate
00:26:13.91\00:26:16.58
what you do in
rather than what you said.
00:26:16.61\00:26:20.03
That's, that's
just the bottom line
00:26:20.06\00:26:21.99
because that is the
very scripture principles,
00:26:22.02\00:26:24.32
2 Corinthians
3:18 really shows us
00:26:24.35\00:26:27.78
that we become what behold
00:26:27.81\00:26:30.13
and as children are watching you
00:26:30.16\00:26:32.46
have parents
interact with one another,
00:26:32.49\00:26:34.40
how you interact as far as
00:26:34.43\00:26:36.35
sharing the good
news of the gospel,
00:26:36.38\00:26:38.35
just the friendship evangelism,
00:26:38.38\00:26:40.81
offering to pray for somebody
they see all of these things
00:26:40.84\00:26:43.65
and that's what
registered in their mind.
00:26:43.68\00:26:45.16
Yes, and ultimately that
you want them to take that
00:26:45.19\00:26:48.48
to adulthood that
they are not intimidated,
00:26:48.51\00:26:51.25
they are not scared
to go talk with people
00:26:51.28\00:26:53.55
that may not
look the same with--
00:26:53.58\00:26:55.51
as them or even at the
same they are afraid of people
00:26:55.54\00:26:58.46
that are not of the
same faith as themselves.
00:26:58.49\00:27:01.30
That they have
grown up knowing that
00:27:01.33\00:27:02.81
its just normal
people are people
00:27:02.84\00:27:04.86
and you have common
threads that you can--
00:27:04.89\00:27:08.68
whether they
look like you are not
00:27:08.71\00:27:11.53
you can start up a
conversation with them
00:27:11.56\00:27:13.29
because they have
been raised to know that
00:27:13.32\00:27:15.06
its okay, you know we
are friends with everybody.
00:27:15.09\00:27:18.00
Now what do you all
do for family worship?
00:27:18.03\00:27:21.40
We found a book we really like
00:27:21.43\00:27:23.98
and I don't
remember the name of it.
00:27:24.01\00:27:25.84
Well, in the morning
we will do one thing.
00:27:25.87\00:27:27.29
We have a daily devotional book
00:27:27.32\00:27:29.28
that's designed
for their age group.
00:27:29.31\00:27:31.17
Then its-- it's a short period
00:27:31.20\00:27:33.74
and then in the evening
00:27:33.77\00:27:36.44
we will read a-- Story book.
00:27:36.47\00:27:38.86
A missionary story book,
00:27:38.89\00:27:40.54
so we make it fun and
practical for the children.
00:27:40.57\00:27:43.45
You know, I just
looked at the clock
00:27:43.48\00:27:44.86
and we are all out of time.
00:27:44.89\00:27:45.96
Thank you,
Julie, thank you, Ken,
00:27:45.99\00:27:47.81
for joining us
today. Thank you. Thank you.
00:27:47.84\00:27:49.25
This was very helpful
00:27:49.28\00:27:51.01
and I hope that
you have enjoyed this
00:27:51.04\00:27:52.66
and may the Lord
bless you abundantly.
00:27:52.69\00:27:55.50
Bye-bye.
00:27:55.53\00:27:56.56