Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn
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and welcome again to
"Issues and Answers."
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No matter where you're
tuning in from around the world,
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we are so glad
that you've joined us.
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Today, we have I think
a very important topic.
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We're going to be
speaking about being judgmental,
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having a critical spirit.
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Let's first share
the words of Jesus
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from Matthew 7:1, 2.
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Here's what He said "Do
not judge lest you be judged."
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He is saying don't
judge, don't criticize,
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don't condemn others
because you are going to be
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judged criticize to
condemned if you do.
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Verse 2 He says "For
just as you judge others
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so will you be
judged and in accordance
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with the measure you
use to deal out to others
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it would dealt against you."
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So can you see
why it so important
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to you and I don't
have judgmental spirit,
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critical spirit
and yet sometimes
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it's a very easy thing
to let this come over you.
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And we're gonna talk
about how not to you today.
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A very special guest
is a good friend of mine
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and she's returning to 3ABN.
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Let help me welcome Derry James.
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Derry, it's so
good to have you back.
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Oh, it's good to
be here, Shelley.
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I always enjoy
coming back to 3ABN
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and seeing my friends.
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I don't realize
how much I miss you
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until I come back
in the door again.
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Well, we always missed you.
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Now you are a--you
have a doctor of ministry
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you specialize in
Christian counseling
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and you are the Chaplain
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for the Sierra Nevada
Memorial Hospital in Grassland.
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Grass Valley.
Grass Valley, California.
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Well, we're glad
that you come back
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and, you know, we've got
so much to talk about today
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that we're just gonna
kind cut that part short
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and let's get into this
'cause I know you always
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share a little bit
of your own testimony
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when you are teaching so.
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Try to do that.
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Let me--Let me
share a thought with you
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and this is
something this is gonna be
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very expose myself here.
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This happened a couple
of months ago someone shared
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with me something
someone's history and past
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and they were
attributing to them
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that same
attitude in today's time.
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And I found myself because
this other person was judging
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and being little bit critical
rather then standing up for them
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it was like I
let that come over me
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it's contiguous
what I am saying.
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And I walked in
that for a couple of days
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and then the
Lord got my attention
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and He showed me that I was
being judgmental and critical.
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Wow, Derry, what do we do?
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We certainly need
heart transplant, don't we?
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We do, amen.
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So I'd like to talk
little bit about may be
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some of the
judgments that I made
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and some misconceptions.
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About people and
then let's get back
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to what we really
can do about, okay.
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I'd like to ask you
a question, Shelley?
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If you saw
someone with a red face,
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what would you,
what would you assume,
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what would do you think?
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Oh, that may be
they've got a sunburn
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or that they've been crying or--
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Okay, but it might be
that they have just run race.
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It might be that
they had a high fever.
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Or they could be embarrassed.
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They could be
embarrassed, exactly.
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You know, they are a
lot of different things
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that they could
have red face about
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but do you see how
because our own insights
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or experiences are our own stuff
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we immediately say, they
must have red face because.
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And we do that over and
over in lot of circumstances.
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I'll share story with you.
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I can remember going
to women's house one day.
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She was expecting me.
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I knocked at the door
and she said just a minute
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and I heard her
running around the house
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and when she came
to the door finally
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she had unlocked
three locks on the door.
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Now, I immediately
thought this poor women
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she must be terrified.
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They have three
locks on her door
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and to keep the house lock like
this in the middle of the day
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and have to run find keys unlock
it from the inside like this.
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So I just made that little
judgment about a week later
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I was ahead back to her house
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and as I was
going to her house again
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I was reminded of all
this locks that she had unlock.
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And as I thought the poor lady
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I really need to pray
for her to overcome her fear.
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And God distinctly said
to me, what makes you think
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she is afraid, like
you think she is afraid?
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And the bottom-line
was she locked the doors
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because she had
two small children
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and she lived on busy road
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and she didn't want to children
to get out in the traffic.
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This scripture says
in James 4:12 Shelley,
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"There is only one
lawgiver and judge,
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the one who is able
to save and to destroy."
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But you--
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"Who are you to
judge your neighbor?"
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And we do it all the time.
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We don't mean to but we just
do it all the time, its nature.
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In little things and big things.
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So how do we get away from that?
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We're gonna come up
with that by the end.
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You know, I'd like
tell you another story
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about criticism the way I am.
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I'm gonna do a
object lesson here, okay.
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And I have three
strips of newspaper--
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And they all the same.
They all the same, yeah.
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Just three strips of newspaper.
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Yeah, and I am just going to
scotch tape them together here.
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Okay and then I am
going to be cutting them.
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So I want to talk about a time
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because we are talking
about judgments and criticisms.
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And I want to talk about a time
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when, when I
was pretty critical.
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I had a dear
friend she had a child
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before I had my first child.
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And they came over to the house
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brand new house
I was so excited.
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It was our first time to
have any guests over it all.
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And she had her little baby
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and you know you
get your first house
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and what happens
your penny poured right.
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So, this little guy
was eating Spaghetti
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and she kind of wiped his hands.
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He was also eating garlic breed
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she barely wiped his hands.
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Spaghetti went on my
new carpet one on the floor.
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And I remember looking at her
and saying Merlin, my new house.
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I am thinking to myself
what kind of mother is she?
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You know, she's doesn't
even wash her kids hands off.
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She letting run
over my new house.
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All right, what are you doing?
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Okay, so now I am just, I
am just cutting the circles
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that I scotch tape together.
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Okay. And I am just cut them--
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So you just take in
three pieces strips of paper
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and you've tape them together.
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All right, so now
your complaining to Merlin.
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So what I did is I really judged
what kind of parent she was.
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And I kind of held that
against her for a little while
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I was little concerned about
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the child
coming over again and--
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I am laughing because we've got,
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you know, we've just
moved into house recently
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and I've got my brother-in-law
and sister-in-law coming
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and my--his daughter my niece
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and her little
two year old Terra
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that they say you got beg
for your house I don't think.
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Well, the bottom-line
is while I am thinking
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of what kind of mom
she is I am thinking
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what a perfect mother I
am going to be of course.
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I am heavy with child but I am
going to be the perfect mother.
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We'll guess again,
we have these visions
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of how we're going to
do everything so right
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in my own insecurities
what you think I start doing.
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Well, I started measuring
myself against other parents
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and whenever they made a blurb
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I was well, I
would never do that.
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Of course, I would
never do that, you know.
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And what is
your true experience,
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if you look back on the history.
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And the true experience is
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I would hate to
have you talk to my boys.
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They can tell you
lot of mistakes I made
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and how I could I've
done things so differently.
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So what I am
doing I am just cutting
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all of these just like this
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she saw me tape
them and so we have--
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So you just took
three strips paper together
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and now you just
cutting in circle
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for make it two circles.
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Yes, so as I cut this
one I'll show you, okay.
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I will just take
the part and will see.
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And the point this is
that things are not always
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how we perceive them, all right.
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So here I've
just cut this. Right.
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You see we have
two pieces here, okay.
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Now you saw me cut the others
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I kind of put them in my lap
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but look what
happen when I cut this one.
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This didn't come in two pieces.
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This is just one long piece
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and then I cut this
one and look at this.
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Here's too length together.
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That's great trick this
is--kids would love this.
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Wouldn't they, so
you know what my point is
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in this little visual
that we look at something
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it looks a particular way to
us we make a--form a opinion.
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We expect something,
we expect an outcome.
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That's right and we
speculate how it's going to be.
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But things are not
always as they appear.
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Amen. Okay.
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So with your children you found
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that your experience was
you are not a perfect mother.
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I wasn't a perfect mother.
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I would like to see if
there just one of you out there
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if could raise your
hands I was a perfect mother.
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Its--you can't
have an imperfect person
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doing something for
the first time around
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or the second time you
may have nine children.
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But it's so easy
for us, you know,
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to look at someone else
and think I'll never do that.
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I had a friend come
to me once and she said,
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she was talking
about someone she said,
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the worse thing about
her just she such gossip
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and I cracked up laughing
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because she
sitting here gossiping
00:10:39.41\00:10:41.60
and being
critical about this women
00:10:41.63\00:10:43.80
and I cracked up laughing.
00:10:43.83\00:10:44.92
And she said why
you are laughing?
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And I said what
we're doing right now?
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This isn't gossip
and then we're, you know,
00:10:50.32\00:10:52.45
you criticizing her for that.
00:10:52.48\00:10:55.51
You know, our own
attitudes are most judgmental
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when we're forgiveness.
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That's true.
00:11:01.56\00:11:02.59
And it could be unforgiveness
even towards ourselves
00:11:02.62\00:11:07.17
and I--you know, I
don't thing that this thing
00:11:07.20\00:11:10.08
about forgiving
ourself is really biblical
00:11:10.11\00:11:12.05
because if we walk in the
glory of Jesus forgiveness
00:11:12.08\00:11:16.22
that's I mean don't
see anything scripture
00:11:16.25\00:11:17.97
that really says we
suppose to forgive ourselves
00:11:18.00\00:11:19.64
but something we've talk
about lot in the world now
00:11:19.67\00:11:22.05
you need to forgive yourself.
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The real issue is
we need to accept Jesus
00:11:23.82\00:11:25.77
forgiveness and cleansing.
00:11:25.80\00:11:26.83
But when we're
walking in unforgiveness
00:11:26.86\00:11:29.16
we're most
judgmental about other people,
00:11:29.19\00:11:32.56
we're most apt
to measure ourselves
00:11:32.59\00:11:36.13
against what other people do
00:11:36.16\00:11:37.40
so that we feel
better about ourselves
00:11:37.43\00:11:39.46
when we're feeling inadequate.
00:11:39.49\00:11:41.57
And as we're measuring
ourselves against other people
00:11:41.60\00:11:43.90
we becoming more,
more critical of others
00:11:43.93\00:11:45.88
because we thing that
makes as we look better.
00:11:45.91\00:11:49.04
And I think--
00:11:49.07\00:11:50.10
Because we can do
this better so that's--
00:11:50.13\00:11:52.56
I think that's part of
it there root of insecurity
00:11:52.59\00:11:55.39
that when people I
find that the people
00:11:55.42\00:11:57.78
who talk most about other people
00:11:57.81\00:12:00.25
are very insecure
inside of themselves.
00:12:00.28\00:12:02.46
Because the more you
feel-- the more you know
00:12:02.49\00:12:05.28
who you are in
Christ the more you know
00:12:05.31\00:12:08.61
feel good about yourself
and I am not talking about
00:12:08.64\00:12:10.93
going by feelings but the
more you are have selfish--
00:12:10.96\00:12:15.40
not selfish
assurance, Christ assurance
00:12:15.43\00:12:18.04
then you not as
critical and judgmental.
00:12:18.07\00:12:21.20
That's right, that's right.
00:12:21.23\00:12:23.57
I'd like, I'd like our
viewers to look at a picture
00:12:23.60\00:12:25.65
that they are gonna put
up on the screen right now
00:12:25.68\00:12:27.71
for a just minute
and as the question.
00:12:27.74\00:12:31.00
Viewers what do you see there?
What do you see on the screen?
00:12:31.03\00:12:34.45
A white paper with a black dot.
00:12:34.48\00:12:36.59
Okay, so probably
you are going to say
00:12:36.62\00:12:39.74
generally people
responses I see a black dot.
00:12:39.77\00:12:43.34
Okay, you can take the down now.
00:12:43.37\00:12:45.19
The truth is there
was a huge expansive white
00:12:45.22\00:12:48.94
but what do we focus on.
00:12:48.97\00:12:50.55
Okay. We focus on the spot.
00:12:50.58\00:12:52.93
Focus on the-- You've
got it and we do that--
00:12:52.96\00:12:56.32
The old story about
windshield and the bug
00:12:56.35\00:12:58.53
on the windshield, right, okay.
00:12:58.56\00:13:00.74
So we need
realize that we're all
00:13:00.77\00:13:02.66
at varying degrees of
life and spiritual growth
00:13:02.69\00:13:08.20
and we really need to
give each other grace.
00:13:08.23\00:13:11.64
We need to give each the
opportunity to make mistakes
00:13:11.67\00:13:15.31
and flub up and
be there do encourage
00:13:15.34\00:13:19.02
and support one another.
00:13:19.05\00:13:20.90
And I used to be
terribly judgmental and critical
00:13:20.93\00:13:24.28
and I came to
God one day and said,
00:13:24.31\00:13:26.05
you know, I don't like this.
00:13:26.08\00:13:27.69
I don't like me like this.
00:13:27.72\00:13:29.83
Can you please help me?
00:13:29.86\00:13:31.88
And the Lord, you know,
00:13:31.91\00:13:33.68
the Lord likes that
kind of prayer I'll tell you.
00:13:33.71\00:13:35.88
He doesn't want us to be
that way with each other.
00:13:35.91\00:13:38.54
So God has given me eyes that
really see the good in people
00:13:38.57\00:13:42.31
and I can look at a
person even that's down and out
00:13:42.34\00:13:45.00
and God just
shows me their goodness.
00:13:45.03\00:13:47.69
And I just take that
as an incredible gift
00:13:47.72\00:13:50.57
from God, an incredible gift.
00:13:50.60\00:13:53.41
We don't realize how much
our judgments of other people
00:13:53.44\00:13:58.61
affect their life,
affect even who they are.
00:13:58.64\00:14:03.59
And we don't realize
how much it affects us aside
00:14:03.62\00:14:05.89
from even what we
open with Matthew Chapter 7
00:14:05.92\00:14:09.06
"That judge not
should be not judge."
00:14:09.09\00:14:11.12
One time the Lord
really impresses upon me
00:14:11.15\00:14:13.59
while I was praying
that a judgmental spirit
00:14:13.62\00:14:17.58
is a spirit of self-exaltation
00:14:17.61\00:14:20.77
and you know who
that's taking after.
00:14:20.80\00:14:23.97
We're modeling
our self after Satan
00:14:24.00\00:14:27.08
who exalted himself and
judgmental spirit against God.
00:14:27.11\00:14:30.56
And that's what we're doing.
00:14:30.59\00:14:31.76
We're exalting ourselves
when we're judging others.
00:14:31.79\00:14:34.64
It's kind of
like you were saying,
00:14:34.67\00:14:36.25
I will be better
mother than that.
00:14:36.28\00:14:38.66
And when we do that we're
actually condemning ourselves.
00:14:38.69\00:14:41.81
When we judge someone
else in that kind of attitude
00:14:41.84\00:14:44.52
and attitude of
bitterness or in attitude of--
00:14:44.55\00:14:48.06
Self-righteousness. Yes.
00:14:48.09\00:14:49.49
Self-righteous is exactly
then we have condemned ourselves
00:14:49.52\00:14:53.32
and we will reap
the rewards of that
00:14:53.35\00:14:55.62
and we have to
know the consequences.
00:14:55.65\00:14:57.72
And there is no inner
piece for people like that.
00:14:57.75\00:15:00.83
Exactly.
00:15:00.86\00:15:02.25
So how do we get
beyond this point, Derry?
00:15:02.28\00:15:04.79
If you're counseling
with me and you recognize
00:15:04.82\00:15:07.91
when I lock in the
door that this is person
00:15:07.94\00:15:10.98
who's miserable inside.
00:15:11.01\00:15:12.74
Just all of like there's
acid that's just bumbling
00:15:12.77\00:15:16.08
over in a critical
and I am judging others.
00:15:16.11\00:15:18.85
What would you say to me?
00:15:18.88\00:15:20.62
Well, the first
thing I want to work on
00:15:20.65\00:15:22.06
is your forgiveness issues.
00:15:22.09\00:15:24.08
Because when we're carrying
all this unforgiveness around
00:15:24.11\00:15:27.17
that's when we
have all the resentment
00:15:27.20\00:15:28.85
and all the bitterness.
00:15:28.88\00:15:30.10
That really is the bottom-line.
00:15:30.13\00:15:32.36
And to remember
who is the judge,
00:15:32.39\00:15:36.06
who is the judge scripture
in Ecclesiastes 12:14 says
00:15:36.09\00:15:38.65
"For God will bring
every deed into judgment,
00:15:38.68\00:15:41.47
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil."
00:15:41.50\00:15:44.66
God will bring
those things to lightness.
00:15:44.69\00:15:47.01
We don't need to bring
them to light for each.
00:15:47.04\00:15:49.69
You know, life is tough
we have a lot of challenges
00:15:49.72\00:15:53.53
into today's world
00:15:53.56\00:15:54.72
and if we would come
along side each other
00:15:54.75\00:15:57.53
and encourage one
another and left each other up
00:15:57.56\00:16:00.26
and pray blessings upon
one another instead of pick,
00:16:00.29\00:16:03.73
pick, pick, pick, you know
00:16:03.76\00:16:06.04
which is so destructive
to ourselves into each other.
00:16:06.07\00:16:08.98
I mean, how much happy
would we all be really.
00:16:09.01\00:16:11.79
I'd like to read
just little story here.
00:16:11.82\00:16:14.61
This is--this came
from Christian journal
00:16:14.64\00:16:17.77
and was about
woman that had bitterness
00:16:17.80\00:16:20.72
and she was explaining
why she didn't believe in God.
00:16:20.75\00:16:24.41
And her complaint
went something like this.
00:16:24.44\00:16:27.46
"Don't come talk to me of God,
00:16:27.49\00:16:29.40
come to my door
with religious pamphlets,
00:16:29.43\00:16:32.08
or ask me whether I'm saved.
00:16:32.11\00:16:33.97
Hell holds no
threat more agonizing
00:16:34.00\00:16:36.54
than the harsh
reality of my own life.
00:16:36.57\00:16:39.00
I swear to you that
the fires of hell seem
00:16:39.03\00:16:41.27
more inviting than the
bone-deep cold of my own life.
00:16:41.30\00:16:44.52
And don't talk to me of church.
00:16:44.55\00:16:47.05
What does the church
know of my despair-barricaded
00:16:47.08\00:16:50.02
behind its stained-glass
windows against the likes of me?
00:16:50.05\00:16:53.70
I once sought repentance
and community within your walls,
00:16:53.73\00:16:57.62
but I saw your God
reflected in your faces
00:16:57.65\00:17:00.49
as you turned away
from the likes of me.
00:17:00.52\00:17:03.16
Forgiveness was never given me.
00:17:03.19\00:17:05.11
The healing love that
I sought was carefully
00:17:05.14\00:17:07.57
hoarded, reserved
for your own kind.
00:17:07.60\00:17:10.13
So be gone from me
and speak no more of God.
00:17:10.16\00:17:13.48
I've seen your God
made manifest in you
00:17:13.51\00:17:15.87
and he is a God
without compassion.
00:17:15.90\00:17:18.99
So long as your God
with holds the warmth
00:17:19.02\00:17:21.02
of human touch from me, I
shall remain an unbeliever."
00:17:21.05\00:17:25.96
You know that
just broke my heart
00:17:25.99\00:17:28.86
the first time I read
that I was truly interiors
00:17:28.89\00:17:32.29
and I though we have no idea
what affect we have on people
00:17:32.32\00:17:38.30
even, even with
the person for example
00:17:38.33\00:17:41.22
that is in our
presence that we are so busy,
00:17:41.25\00:17:45.68
so distracted that we
don't even acknowledge
00:17:45.71\00:17:48.47
their very being, their presence
00:17:48.50\00:17:50.72
and the statement
of that says to them
00:17:50.75\00:17:53.94
that you are not
there you aren't here.
00:17:53.97\00:17:58.00
And one of the nicest
things we can do is validate
00:17:58.03\00:18:00.83
each other in a positive way.
00:18:00.86\00:18:02.87
I once heard
someone I was actually
00:18:02.90\00:18:06.20
at kind of train
the trainer's type camp.
00:18:06.23\00:18:08.82
And my mother
was in intensive care
00:18:08.85\00:18:13.57
and I had been
with her for two weeks
00:18:13.60\00:18:16.30
and they brought her
at on the medical floor
00:18:16.33\00:18:18.29
and I have been chosen
from a number of people around
00:18:18.32\00:18:22.17
the United
States to go this camp
00:18:22.20\00:18:23.78
and I went and
I am just an agony
00:18:23.81\00:18:27.46
but I'm having to put
forward this wonderful face.
00:18:27.49\00:18:31.29
In at one point they
were having us all just give
00:18:31.32\00:18:34.83
little sound bits,
little message of encouragement,
00:18:34.86\00:18:38.03
motivational something and
parading us across the stage.
00:18:38.06\00:18:42.74
And the man right in front of me
00:18:42.77\00:18:45.22
was repeating a line I believe
that Dale Carnegie coined.
00:18:45.25\00:18:49.44
And he said "Treat
everyone as if their heart
00:18:49.47\00:18:52.49
is breaking
because it probably is."
00:18:52.52\00:18:55.65
Where here I've
been trying to hold all
00:18:55.68\00:18:57.47
this heartbreak
back and he says this
00:18:57.50\00:18:59.83
I mean, the tears you know I am
try to like keep it all together
00:18:59.86\00:19:03.33
so I can go right next and say
my little motivational tidbit.
00:19:03.36\00:19:07.89
But I never
forgotten that at moment
00:19:07.92\00:19:09.95
and there's time
that you may walk into
00:19:09.98\00:19:14.30
that you are at service station
00:19:14.33\00:19:15.64
and you go into the
shop there to get something
00:19:15.67\00:19:18.75
and someone may
be so rude to you
00:19:18.78\00:19:21.26
and you can take
fits or you know,
00:19:21.29\00:19:24.01
if or not easy we could
or we can judge that person
00:19:24.04\00:19:27.48
and think oh, boy,
that would just, you know,
00:19:27.51\00:19:29.61
its obvious there are
just here for a paycheck.
00:19:29.64\00:19:31.53
They need better people skills.
00:19:31.56\00:19:33.48
But we don't know is that
they may have had a horrible
00:19:33.51\00:19:37.31
argument with
their spouse that day,
00:19:37.34\00:19:39.68
they may be a facing
eviction from their home.
00:19:39.71\00:19:43.90
We don't know their heartaches.
00:19:43.93\00:19:45.86
They could have just gotten
a life-threatening disease,
00:19:45.89\00:19:48.02
diagnoses, someone they love
00:19:48.05\00:19:50.15
may be in the
hospital facing death.
00:19:50.18\00:19:52.23
I mean, we don't know what the
other person is going through.
00:19:52.26\00:19:55.39
You know, when you talking about
this article how sad this is.
00:19:55.42\00:19:57.95
There is a cycle here
too because here this women
00:19:57.98\00:20:02.09
did not receive,
they were judging her,
00:20:02.12\00:20:04.78
so she not only judge
then may be rightfully
00:20:04.81\00:20:07.99
so they have
how they were acting
00:20:08.02\00:20:09.80
but she judged God
by how they were acting.
00:20:09.83\00:20:15.21
That reminds me in the
scripture of 2 Corinthians 3:3
00:20:15.24\00:20:17.77
that we are a letter
written on the heart by God,
00:20:17.80\00:20:22.94
by the Holy Spirit and sometimes
00:20:22.97\00:20:24.62
we're the only letter from
God that people get to read.
00:20:24.65\00:20:29.70
So sad story though.
00:20:29.73\00:20:31.52
You've asked me what
can we do about this.
00:20:31.55\00:20:34.74
And I think one of things
that probably was most effective
00:20:34.77\00:20:38.30
from me in dealing
with is my own life
00:20:38.33\00:20:41.52
was to come
before God and ask God
00:20:41.55\00:20:44.14
the prayer of
David actually in Psalms
00:20:44.17\00:20:46.19
"Search me, O
God, and know my heart,
00:20:46.22\00:20:49.22
know my thoughts and see if
there be any wicked way in me,
00:20:49.25\00:20:52.45
and lead me in
the way everlasting."
00:20:52.48\00:20:55.11
You know, who of us really
can understand our errors.
00:20:55.14\00:20:59.42
I think it's
really important to have
00:20:59.45\00:21:00.97
accountability
friends, in your life
00:21:01.00\00:21:03.26
people that know your heart,
00:21:03.29\00:21:05.51
people that know how
you want to be for Jesus,
00:21:05.54\00:21:08.57
people that are willing
to call you on those things
00:21:08.60\00:21:12.19
that we do that
would not properly reflect
00:21:12.22\00:21:14.80
the character of
God, that would lovingly
00:21:14.83\00:21:17.60
just take you and say, you know,
00:21:17.63\00:21:19.79
I know that this is gonna
be hard for me to say to you
00:21:19.82\00:21:23.66
but I know you
would want to know
00:21:23.69\00:21:25.02
because I know how much you love
Jesus and want to be like Him.
00:21:25.05\00:21:28.02
That this is how you
coming across when you do this.
00:21:28.05\00:21:31.89
That's good. So--
00:21:31.92\00:21:32.99
We all could
you accountability--
00:21:33.02\00:21:34.61
And do you know
it's hard it's hard
00:21:34.64\00:21:36.98
to be an accountability
partner that is willing
00:21:37.01\00:21:39.15
to risk relationship to
talk hard truth like that.
00:21:39.18\00:21:44.91
But to me that
is the deepest love
00:21:44.94\00:21:46.98
we can give to each
others that kind of honesty.
00:21:47.01\00:21:50.27
The wounds of friend or better
than the kiss of the enemy.
00:21:50.30\00:21:52.55
That's right. That' right.
00:21:52.58\00:21:56.95
We need to come before
Jesus and we need to confess
00:21:56.98\00:21:59.64
that this is an issue with us.
00:21:59.67\00:22:01.53
And we may need to
make right some wrongs
00:22:01.56\00:22:05.24
of some judgments we've made
that really affected people.
00:22:05.27\00:22:07.82
Maybe not those things
we said in our own heart
00:22:07.85\00:22:10.01
that people don't know of.
00:22:10.04\00:22:11.23
We don't want hurt others.
00:22:11.26\00:22:13.10
But the may be times we need to
make these kind of confessions
00:22:13.13\00:22:15.93
and to make right and start life
over again with the clean slate.
00:22:15.96\00:22:22.00
Symptoms for inner
peace would include
00:22:22.03\00:22:24.93
a loss of
interest in judging self.
00:22:24.96\00:22:26.86
So, before we jump to
that what you are saying
00:22:26.89\00:22:29.49
is that when we give
up this judgmental spirit,
00:22:29.52\00:22:34.02
when we give up
the critical spirit
00:22:34.05\00:22:36.18
we're going to
find this inner peace.
00:22:36.21\00:22:40.29
Exactly, thank
you for bring me back.
00:22:40.32\00:22:42.65
So--so I just
want to make sure that
00:22:42.68\00:22:43.94
because when you say sessions
00:22:43.97\00:22:45.49
I was expecting you
to say something bad
00:22:45.52\00:22:48.29
like it was a
sickness this inner peace
00:22:48.32\00:22:50.05
but you are saying when
we finally get to that point
00:22:50.08\00:22:53.73
here's how we recognize.
00:22:53.76\00:22:54.96
And we will know that
this is happened with in us
00:22:54.99\00:22:57.16
when we get to the
point where we have surrender
00:22:57.19\00:22:59.95
this judgmental
or critical attitude
00:22:59.98\00:23:03.01
and that would be lots of
interest in judging ourselves.
00:23:03.04\00:23:07.94
Ouch. See I'm still
very judgmental of myself.
00:23:07.97\00:23:11.06
That's I've try not to be others
00:23:11.09\00:23:13.62
who have I can be pretty
harsh of myself sometimes.
00:23:13.65\00:23:18.32
God wants us to be
women of excellence.
00:23:18.35\00:23:21.75
But it's not for us
to try to be perfect
00:23:21.78\00:23:24.81
God we work that out in our life
00:23:24.84\00:23:26.74
and help us to grow if we're
trying so hard to be perfect
00:23:26.77\00:23:32.28
then where people that are
trying hard to be in control
00:23:32.31\00:23:34.66
with people full of
fear where people full of all
00:23:34.69\00:23:36.86
of these criticism and judgment.
00:23:36.89\00:23:39.02
But if you take the breath
and just say Jesus I love you.
00:23:39.05\00:23:43.84
Here I am do whatever
you need to with me today.
00:23:43.87\00:23:46.32
Show me what
You need to show me,
00:23:46.35\00:23:47.77
grow me where
You need to grow me
00:23:47.80\00:23:49.89
and let the Lord
be about the work.
00:23:49.92\00:23:51.60
We can move forward in
peace and absolute contempt
00:23:51.63\00:23:54.44
that knowing that
we surrender to God
00:23:54.47\00:23:56.48
and today we'll
just do the best we can.
00:23:56.51\00:23:59.11
We will be a woman of excellence
00:23:59.14\00:24:01.64
with all the gifts
that God has given.
00:24:01.67\00:24:03.94
And, you know, my
excellence may be down here
00:24:03.97\00:24:06.61
yours may be up here
but we'll give it all to got
00:24:06.64\00:24:10.18
because we want to be
excellent woman for Jesus.
00:24:10.21\00:24:13.00
I think the only time
I'm really harsh on myself
00:24:13.03\00:24:15.34
and I think
thank you about this.
00:24:15.37\00:24:16.40
I've come a long
way but boy, if I know
00:24:16.43\00:24:20.00
that I've really
disappointed someone
00:24:20.03\00:24:21.83
or I've done something that is
00:24:21.86\00:24:23.72
and may be that's not
being harsh on myself.
00:24:23.75\00:24:25.30
May be that's just
godly so coming on me
00:24:25.33\00:24:27.42
if I feel like
I've done something
00:24:27.45\00:24:29.55
that doesn't reflect the Lord.
00:24:29.58\00:24:31.17
That it's so disappointing to me
00:24:31.20\00:24:32.99
because I know how
much I've disappointed Him.
00:24:33.02\00:24:35.36
Oh, well, I
think that's different.
00:24:35.39\00:24:36.42
I think that's a true sorrow
and a true remorse, you know,
00:24:36.45\00:24:39.84
for just like you said.
00:24:39.87\00:24:43.27
Not reflecting Christ in
the way that we would want to.
00:24:43.30\00:24:45.82
Hey, we have just a
couple of minutes left
00:24:45.85\00:24:48.56
tell us some more
inner peace symptoms.
00:24:48.59\00:24:50.61
Okay, other
symptoms of inner peace
00:24:50.64\00:24:52.63
would be also losing an
interest in judging others.
00:24:52.66\00:24:55.84
A loss of interest in conflict
00:24:55.87\00:24:57.67
and loss of interest in
interpreting actions of others.
00:24:57.70\00:25:04.35
So those would be
like the four mainland's
00:25:04.38\00:25:07.08
and you know, I would
like to tell a story here.
00:25:07.11\00:25:11.14
To kind of close
our time together.
00:25:11.17\00:25:14.62
Several years ago,
many years ago actually
00:25:14.65\00:25:17.03
when I was doing homeschooling
and had my house four children.
00:25:17.06\00:25:22.47
There was a knock at the
door around 11:30 at night
00:25:22.50\00:25:25.36
and this little grandma
pushed her granddaughter in.
00:25:25.39\00:25:28.40
She was raising
her granddaughter
00:25:28.43\00:25:30.03
and she pushed her
little granddaughter in the door
00:25:30.06\00:25:32.69
and said you can have her, I
cannot deal with her anymore,
00:25:32.72\00:25:37.07
and she slid her
suitcase across the entry.
00:25:37.10\00:25:39.62
This is at 11:30 at night.
00:25:39.65\00:25:41.31
Little girl is there
with her arms just, you know,
00:25:41.34\00:25:43.52
and she's just trampling
and she is crying and--
00:25:43.55\00:25:46.68
How old was she?
She was about 13-14.
00:25:46.71\00:25:51.56
And grandma shut
the door and walked away
00:25:51.59\00:25:54.22
and I stood there
looking at this little girl
00:25:54.25\00:25:55.91
thinking oh, my Lord.
00:25:55.94\00:25:58.96
What am I going to do with you?
00:25:58.99\00:26:01.24
So I just said,
honey, why don't you upstairs
00:26:01.27\00:26:03.66
and take the
first room on the left
00:26:03.69\00:26:05.28
and I'll be up in just a moment.
00:26:05.31\00:26:07.45
And I stood in my entry saying
00:26:07.48\00:26:09.61
Lord, give me words
to say to this child.
00:26:09.64\00:26:13.75
I don't know what I'm
going to do with her either.
00:26:13.78\00:26:17.04
And I went upstairs
and I walked into here room
00:26:17.07\00:26:21.03
and I said, sweetheart you and I
00:26:21.06\00:26:23.53
don't have much
history together.
00:26:23.56\00:26:27.49
And you have
come into my home now
00:26:27.52\00:26:29.24
to live for we
don't know how long
00:26:29.27\00:26:32.66
and I just want you to know that
00:26:32.69\00:26:33.87
tomorrow morning when you get up
00:26:33.90\00:26:36.73
you can be anyone
you ever wanted to be.
00:26:36.76\00:26:39.36
Amen.
00:26:39.39\00:26:41.01
And Shelley, we forget I think,
00:26:41.04\00:26:44.64
that that's how does with Jesus
00:26:44.67\00:26:46.74
that everyday, every
moment for that matter
00:26:46.77\00:26:49.77
can be a time of new beginnings
00:26:49.80\00:26:52.15
and that we can be
whatever it is for her Lord.
00:26:52.18\00:26:55.96
So whether its having
to overcome a judgmental
00:26:55.99\00:27:00.47
or critical attitude--
actually no matter what
00:27:00.50\00:27:03.57
our weakness or
what it is in our lives
00:27:03.60\00:27:05.47
that we would
like not to be like.
00:27:05.50\00:27:09.32
We can start our
way to Jesus. Amen.
00:27:09.35\00:27:11.40
Derry, thank you so
much for being here today.
00:27:11.43\00:27:14.28
The time has run by very rapidly
00:27:14.31\00:27:16.23
but I believe we
really learned something.
00:27:16.26\00:27:18.37
Thank you for sharing.
00:27:18.40\00:27:19.65
It was lovely
to be here. It was.
00:27:19.68\00:27:21.94
Now for those of
you at home please
00:27:21.97\00:27:24.06
let this be your take
home point is that with God,
00:27:24.09\00:27:28.01
Lamentations 3:22, 23 says,
00:27:28.04\00:27:30.72
His mercies are
new every morning
00:27:30.75\00:27:33.06
for his compassions fail not.
00:27:33.09\00:27:35.47
He is the God of new beginnings
00:27:35.50\00:27:38.14
and if you got a judgmental
spirit or critical spirit
00:27:38.17\00:27:42.13
the practically one in
the same all you have to do is
00:27:42.16\00:27:45.29
go to God and say
remove this from me.
00:27:45.32\00:27:47.41
I want the inner peace
that she has been talking about.
00:27:47.44\00:27:50.60
Thank you, so
much for joining us
00:27:50.63\00:27:52.84
and may God bless you richly.
00:27:52.87\00:27:54.93
Bye-bye for now.
00:27:54.96\00:27:56.31