Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Ernest Staats
Series Code: IAA
Program Code: IAA000329
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00:30 Hello I'm Shelley Quinn
00:31 and welcome again to "Issues and Answers." 00:33 It's always our delight to come into your home 00:35 and talk about issues that are affecting us as Christians 00:41 and just us as human beings. 00:43 And we are very happy to have someone here today 00:46 to give us some very important answers 00:49 on the issue of cyber bullying and cyber predators. 00:54 And that's talking about what's going on in the internet. 00:57 You know, Paul wrote to the Corinthians 01:00 and he says to them in 2 Corinthians 2:11 01:04 that to keep Satan from-- he's talking about 01:08 how to keep Satan from getting the advantage of us. 01:10 And he says, "We are not ignorant of his devices." 01:15 We have got to learn. 01:17 The only way you can be not ignorant is to be knowledgeable. 01:21 And there's so many of us 01:23 who are really not knowledgeable 01:25 when it comes to internet predators 01:27 and internet bully-- bullying 01:29 and how we can protect ourselves. 01:31 But today joining us again 01:33 and we are just so glad 01:35 to have you come back, Ernest. Thank you. 01:37 This is Ernest Staats 01:38 and you are the information technology director 01:42 for the Georgia-Cumberland Academy 01:44 in Calhoun, Georgia. That's correct. 01:46 And you don't sound like you're from Georgia. I'm not. 01:49 Where are you from originally? 01:51 Originally born in Mount Vernon, Ohio. Okay. 01:53 And then moved to New Jersey 01:54 and then my parents who came out 01:55 and as we moved to Colorado. Okay. 01:57 Colorado is what I call home. All right. 01:59 So I was gonna say you don't have that Georgia accent. 02:02 You know, I come from-- 02:04 well, it's not important but from the south. 02:07 And when I get around Mollie Steenson 02:09 who's our general manger 02:11 and she's got that Alabama accent. 02:13 And the two of us get together 02:14 and it just gets thicker and thicker. 02:16 So we have to be so careful. 02:18 So before we dive into this topic of cyber predators 02:23 and bullying and what we can do. 02:26 You know, this is very alarming, 02:28 there's some very unsavory things 02:33 that are happening out there. 02:34 What is the number one thing 02:36 that you want to make us aware of? 02:38 That it's not rocket science. 02:41 But most of the time parents get really worried 02:43 and say, "I'm so worried about what's online 02:45 and my kid being, you know, preyed upon." 02:48 But I always tell them if you are involved 02:49 with your children's life, you got to know 02:51 there's some red flags going off. Okay. 02:53 So as long as you're involved with their real life 02:56 and their online life, then you can rest, 02:59 I think a lot easier at night. 03:01 But if you're not involved, 03:02 if you aren't involved in their real life 03:04 and not in their online life 03:05 then this is the time to start saying, "Hey, 03:08 I know your friends from school, 03:09 I like to know some of your online friends 03:11 and just I want to be a part of your life 03:12 all the way around." All right. 03:15 And that's, you know, it's very difficult, 03:17 there are some parents 03:18 that really know very little about the internet. 03:21 But you're saying that parents need to be educated 03:23 and they, they got to learn the ways 03:26 that they can protect their family online. They do. 03:29 And one of the great sources is your children 03:32 for education. Okay. 03:34 I'm--you know, I've got a masters 03:36 and I've security alphabets suit behind my name 03:39 which means I took a lot of tests 03:40 and studied lot of things. 03:42 But I still would never make the claim 03:43 that I've got it all figured out. Yeah. 03:45 There's lot of times a young person will come to me 03:47 and say, "Mr. Staats, have you heard of this?" 03:48 And I'll say, "No, tell me about it." 03:51 And then they will start 'cause they like to know, 03:52 they like to begin to know. 03:54 So they will tell you all about it 03:55 and also give me some more information on that. 03:57 And then we learn it together. 03:59 And as parents it can be the same way. 04:01 You can say, "Hey, I really want to know more about this." 04:04 And so really what you're saying is parents have got to dedicate, 04:08 if they want to protect their family 04:10 and their children online. 04:12 They have got to become involved 04:14 and that requires a dedication of time to this. 04:17 You've just got to make up your mind. Right. 04:19 That there's something else that has to go 04:21 because I don't think sometimes, 04:23 you know, a lot of parents don't realize 04:25 how real the danger is for online predators 04:29 and online bullying. 04:30 So what are some of the steps 04:32 that you teach as how to protect your family? 04:36 One of the first steps I tell them, 04:37 make sure your children and yourself realize it, 04:40 life rules apply online. 04:42 It's so easy because you're not seeing 04:43 someone's face, to sit there 04:44 and type something that may be not very nice. 04:47 If you step back and say, oh, how does that sound? 04:50 I mean, I sent an email just, for example, 04:52 yesterday I sent an email 04:53 and I was just trying to get information quick. 04:55 And the person sent me back saying, 04:56 "Ernest, I'm sorry, that was offensive." 04:59 And I read the email and I was like, 05:00 oh, I could have been taken offensive, 05:01 I didn't mean it offensive. 05:03 I was just trying to get to the information, 05:05 my wife accuses me of being a robot 05:06 half of the time anyways 05:07 but, you know, I just want the information 05:09 and let's move on. 05:11 You know, but and I didn't realized 05:12 that came across so strong-- 05:15 We have all been guilty of that from time to time. 05:17 And it's easy to do 05:18 and I think that's one of the things 05:19 helping our young people realize 05:20 make sure that they know that modesty, 05:23 modesty is a big issue. 05:24 If you look at young women's clothing, 05:26 you know, you go look at the racks, 05:28 I mean, I've got a 4-year-old, even some of the stuff 05:29 they're selling for 4-year-olds, 05:31 I'm sitting like, I don't want my girl wearing that 05:33 'cause my wife and I've made the philosophy 05:35 what she's wearing now, 05:36 we want her to feel comfortable wearing when she's 16. Yes. 05:39 So, you know, sometimes people say, 05:40 they're little kids, it's okay. 05:41 Well, no, I don't want, all of a sudden 05:43 when she becomes teenager, I change all the rules. 05:45 That's good point, excellent. 05:46 So what we're trying to do is find modest clothes 05:48 even now you look at it and say, 05:50 well, that's okay, little bit edgy. 05:52 But you take the same picture 05:53 or the same piece of clothing 05:54 and you put it online and what was a little bit edgy, 05:57 now that it's online has a whole different flavor to it. 06:00 That's good point, excellent. 06:01 So that's where we try to help at least at our school 06:03 we try to help educate the kids about dressing, 06:05 look and think about this. 06:07 And so and it's not just like what you might say in a, 06:11 you know, being curt in an email 06:14 but for example if you're writing about someone else, 06:17 if you wouldn't say something to them 06:20 or post something online on MySpace 06:22 or these various chat rooms about someone, 06:26 just because if you wouldn't say to their face 06:29 and talk with them that you just wouldn't put that online. 06:32 Right and that's really important 06:33 for people to remember that. 06:34 We're also trying to tell them, don't talk to strangers, 06:36 you know, most kids grow up talking that 06:38 you have three times the more likelihood 06:40 the statistics right now, you have three times 06:42 more likelihood of being picked up by somebody online 06:44 than just being nabbed by somebody at Wal-Mart. 06:46 Yes, absolutely. 06:47 So, you know, people tell their kids, 06:49 parents tell their kids be careful 06:51 when you're walking at Wal-Mart, 06:52 in case there's someone looking at you, 06:53 you know call us. 06:55 Well, then they never take that into the online world. Yes. 06:57 And you're three times more likely in the online world 06:59 to come across a predator. 07:00 And the kids are talking to strangers all the time. 07:03 Right and we find so many kids 07:05 are posting their cell phone numbers, 07:07 are posting their schedules 07:09 when they get off closing shifts, 07:10 you name it online. 07:12 And so this is information that they put-- 07:14 and you know, you have the Peta files 07:16 and the various sexual deviance 07:19 who actually get online. 07:21 And, I mean this is their hunting ground 07:23 if you will. Very much so. 07:25 And the department of-- 07:27 the office of juvenile justice prevention 07:29 they have been asking 07:31 the technology world specifically 07:33 what are the ways that we can find and stop this. 07:36 Because they made a research on MySpace, 07:37 they came across I think there was like 600 07:39 registered sex offenders that had MySpace accounts. 07:42 And several of them were acting 07:43 like they were younger aged kids. Oh, absolutely. 07:47 And they lure these kids into meeting them somewhere. 07:50 We hear these stories all the time in the media. 07:53 So how do you--I mean you should as a parent 07:55 just have a flat, even though you might-- 07:58 let me put it, let me frame this question this way. 08:01 Even though a parent may say, don't talk to strangers, 08:05 don't talk to, you know, don't make an appointment. 08:09 Is--how do you make it sure 08:10 that your kids aren't talking to strangers 08:12 and that they aren't making an appointment 08:13 to meet a stranger? 08:16 This--the answer to that question 08:17 I would say depends on two things. 08:19 If you have open communication, 08:20 you should have a good idea what's happening. Okay. 08:22 If you don't, then there is some software 08:25 one of the piece of soft, 08:26 one package of software is called Spectra Pro. 08:28 And that's where if their lines of communication 08:30 have broken down 08:31 and you're really concerned about 08:32 your young person Spectra Pro, 08:34 it's kind of like a spyware that installs on their computer 08:37 and it will track everything they type, 08:38 screenshots click by click, 08:40 you know exactly what happens. Okay. 08:43 I would highly recommend that. 08:44 Can we put that on cell phones and all the other? 08:47 It can we put on cell phones and that's the other thing. 08:50 So really what you're saying is 08:51 you need to have a really great relationship. 08:54 This is kind of an emergency net if you will. Right. 08:58 But it's not, I mean it's developing 09:01 that good relationship with your kids 09:02 because you might protect them in your home 09:05 but you don't know what they are doing 09:06 at someone else's computer. 09:07 And you don't know what they are doing on their cell phone 09:09 or other places they can access the internet. Very much so. 09:13 And I'd highly recommend for parents 09:15 to not give their kids 09:16 internet access on their cell phone. 09:17 First of all, it will save them money 09:19 and-- and I like that. 09:20 Second of all I would also very strongly recommend against that 09:23 because there is no filter. 09:25 And even if they come across it accidentally. 09:28 You know, one of the cities recently done at a Christian, 09:30 conservative Christian college in Midwest. 09:32 They found 75% of the males 09:35 and 25% of the females admitted 09:37 to intentionally going to pornographic sites. 09:40 Repeat those statistics. 09:41 75% of the males polled and 25% of the females 09:45 admitted to going to intentionally 09:47 going to pornographic sites. 09:49 And you know, what they don't realize is that 09:52 pornography is more than just a one time kick. 09:55 It's almost like for some people taking cocaine 10:00 or taking heroin the very first time. 10:02 You know, now we know that meth, not meth, 10:06 crack is that the one that crystal meth. Crystal meth. 10:09 That's additive from the first time forward. 10:12 And what pornography does 10:14 is actually release brain chemistry that 10:17 if there's an addiction that's involved. 10:19 I mean it's as dangerous as picking up the drug. 10:22 And it's not even just pornography they're finding 10:24 the online addiction has the exact syndrome, 10:26 they have done studies on this on the brain. 10:28 And it has the exact same addictive properties as cocaine. 10:31 And it has the arousal, the sensation. 10:33 You know all of that, 10:34 that was typically there with the drugs. 10:35 To be online. 10:37 To be online and it's part 10:38 'cause there's a little bit of edge to the online world. 10:41 You know there is a dark side that is just always 10:42 a little bit prevalent on there. 10:44 Because that's there, there is just that addictive quality 10:47 to the online world. See, even that shocks me. 10:50 I have to confess because 10:52 first of all I don't have children. Right. 10:54 But to me I don't see the online world 10:58 that edgy dark side because I never visit that. 11:01 So my online world, my idea of what the internet is 11:05 completely different than yours. 11:07 You're dealing with kids, you're dealing with security 11:09 and so this is true of probably many parents, 11:13 wouldn't you agree? 11:14 Oh, probably very much so. 11:16 What they don't realize they will listen to-- 11:18 you know, they will hear from their kids, 11:19 "Oh, you got that music, oh, that's great." 11:21 But did you buy your child that music? 11:23 Even if it's Christian 11:24 'cause they have found out that Christian music is downloaded 11:27 just as much illegally as non Christian music. 11:31 And then we can justify behind rational as well, 11:33 you know, it's good Christian music. 11:35 But what comes with that? 11:36 Every time you get a free download on the internet, 11:38 there is no such thing as a free lunch. 11:40 And PBS--also listening to PBS online the other day 11:44 and they were talking to people 11:45 who are in the pornography industry. 11:47 They admit that with every file they attach 11:49 when they put out free music out there, 11:51 they attach pornographic stuff with it to try and hook 11:54 and hooks in people. Yes. 11:55 It's part of their industry. It's part of their bill. 11:58 And just as Paul wrote to the Corinthians, 12:00 "We need to be aware of the devil's devices." 12:05 Now what about these emails that people get 12:08 and particularly in ministry I get thousands of emails 12:12 and most of them are from people I don't know. 12:16 Now we have an excellent filter 12:17 so it gets most of the junk out. 12:20 But what advice would you give to parents 12:23 to teach their children about emails 12:25 that they receive from strangers? 12:27 If it's--especially as a young person 12:30 most young people admit to talking to strangers online. 12:33 So that's another part 12:34 where your kids need to be educated saying, 12:36 really if you don't know the person in real life, 12:38 I would really especially for younger 12:40 they shouldn't be talking to him. 12:42 It's better to just to lead him. 12:44 And it's better for the parents to sit there 12:46 and say, "Do you know this person, do you know this?" 12:48 And then if their friend say, 12:49 "I sent you an email." What was it? 12:50 You know, what was the email address 12:52 that it came from? Okay. 12:53 Okay, then you can go back and undelete the email, 12:55 you don't read it because what's happening is 12:57 there's some very complex viruses 12:59 that are now coming in emails too. Okay. 13:01 Then if you allow to see it as a webpage, 13:03 it can then infect your computer. 13:05 And, you know, which has other implications too. 13:07 So there's a couple different sites 13:08 part of it is protecting their safety, 13:10 their soul that you're worried about. 13:12 The other part is also make sure 13:13 you still have a computer so they can do their homework 13:15 and the other parts that are and valid in their life. 13:18 You know, I'm just sitting here and I'm thinking, Ernest, that 13:22 for the parent who are both 13:25 either it's a single parent home 13:26 or maybe both parents work. 13:28 And for that child that comes home alone after school 13:32 and feels lonely and natural thing would be, 13:36 I mean a natural lure would be to get on the internet 13:40 and talk to somebody. 13:42 And it how it's kind of I think 13:44 there's kind of a high that kids get I think, 13:48 when they are talking with strangers on the internet 13:50 because they can be somebody 13:52 they really aren't in real life. Yeah. 13:54 And they don't recognize the dangers, 13:56 so parents need to find things for their children 13:59 to do after school. 14:00 We just have to be very diligent, don't we? 14:03 We do, I mean I can-- there's a story of a young girl 14:06 who was 13 years old in Arkansas. 14:08 She went to a Christian chat room. 14:10 She thought she was talking to other Christians in there. 14:12 Her mother passed away, 14:13 her father was a single father, was a police officer. 14:16 They lived in a country 14:17 so they thought everything was safe, 14:18 he just thought she was, you know, 14:20 talking to other Christian friends. Right. 14:21 The only thing was true about the man's profile was 14:23 he was from California. 14:25 He wasn't a young man that she was talking to. 14:27 But what a cyber predator will do 14:28 is they will mere back to the kids 14:30 exact type of things they are going through. 14:32 They will act awkward. 14:33 Teenagers are in between the stage of being full adults 14:37 and being little kids. 14:38 So they kind of have some idiosyncrasies 14:40 that are unique to teenagers. 14:42 Well, they are mere the same type of idiosyncrasies, 14:44 the same type of fears. 14:45 And then he saw that she lost her mother 14:47 so then supposedly he lost his hand a week later. 14:51 So I started sharing scripture verses back and forth 14:53 and encouraging each other. 14:54 Well, he was actually a predator and he actually found out 14:57 what her dad schedule was, everything else. 14:59 Even though they lived in a country 15:00 he flew from California to Arkansas went 15:03 grab her off the computer and killed her. Oh. 15:05 So, you know, and that was just where the parent thought, 15:08 well, she's just talking to Christian, we were in a country, 15:10 I'm a police officer, life will be fine. 15:12 You don't have that guarantee. 15:14 You know, we're hearing these stories more and more 15:17 on the local news even when recently 15:19 we had something where the FBI is now, 15:22 you know, they found some predators online. 15:25 And it seems that I mean there's no real way of policing this 15:30 because it's just too big of a problem 15:32 and too big of a world. 15:34 But how much of this I mean do you feel like 15:36 it's much more prevalent than what we realize. 15:40 I think it's more, we just heard the media hype 15:41 on the certain cases. 15:43 There's a lot of stuff that goes unreported, unfortunately. 15:47 And just to kind of give you a little bit of an idea 15:49 of some of the statistics that I brought with me today. 15:51 The child goes missing in United States every 40 seconds. 15:55 And out of that 40-- 15:56 out of those child that goes missing 15:58 two-thirds of all missing child reports 16:00 are teenagers of 15 and 17. 16:03 And in that group two-fifth of the missing children 16:08 are actually due to internet activity. 16:10 Two fifths? Two fifths. 16:12 And that number is not going down, it's rising. 16:15 So it's very common for the child 16:17 to have a different persona, they don't realize though. 16:19 And when I've listened to some liberal media, 16:21 some non Christian psychologist, 16:24 they talk about the fact 16:25 that the frontal lobe on young people 16:27 is not developed, 16:28 not till they are about 21 or so. Yes. 16:30 So they don't-- and the frontal lobe 16:31 is where you get your discernment 16:33 where you know whether this is right or wrong. 16:35 Well, so they don't have the red flags going off 16:37 and this person is sending them gifts. 16:39 When this person is telling them let's be secretive. 16:42 They don't see this happening 16:43 but as a parent if your child starts being secretive, 16:46 starts deleting internet log files, 16:48 these are all red flags. 16:49 But you may say, wait a minute, 16:50 something is going wrong here, we need to talk. Okay. 16:54 So specifically what can parents do 16:57 to protect their children? 17:00 And you know we really haven't talked about online bullying 17:03 so much as we have of the predators. 17:05 But there is also the hurt feelings 17:08 and the bullying that's going on online. 17:10 How can we protect our children from this? 17:13 Again, it comes back to being involved-- 17:15 one of the things I'd recommend is that you have, 17:17 you know, what your children websites they go to. 17:20 You know some of the different places 17:22 where they post messages. 17:23 But now, what if the parent is saying, 17:26 "I know, you know, I know how to get my email." 17:28 Right. And that's about it. 17:29 So how do I track this or know where, 17:33 you know maybe I've talked with my child 17:34 but I don't feel like they are being responsive. 17:37 How can I find out this information? 17:40 You can use a software like Spectra Pro. 17:41 You can start putting on some filtering software. 17:44 You as a parent have the right to go to the cell company 17:47 and say, I want their chat logs. 17:49 You know, you can pull some of this information 17:50 out on their cell phone. 17:52 You have the right 'cause most of the them have 17:54 GPS trackers on them. Okay. 17:56 You can say, I want to know 17:57 if my child goes outside this radius. 17:59 And most cell phone companies will give you 18:01 an email or text message or telephone call saying that 18:04 this cell phone is gone without this 10 mile radius. Okay. 18:06 So there are several different methods 18:08 that a parent can use if you think there are 18:10 some more concerns there. 18:11 And you know what, a lot of children of course 18:14 if you tell them this is what you're going to do. 18:16 There are gonna whine, there are gonna kick 18:18 and scream and holler and say, "You don't trust me" 18:21 and try to put that guilt trip on you. 18:23 But it comes down to like you said that frontal lobe 18:27 isn't developed and parents need to be parents 18:30 and they can't be their children's best friend, 18:32 and they just have to say, you want this cell phone, 18:34 you get the GPS with it. Right. 18:36 And I'm gonna know where you are. Right. 18:38 Well, and then probably letting them know that 18:40 it's because I love you. Absolutely. 18:42 You know, I kind of have a different philosophy on this. 18:45 Our first daughter passed away. 18:47 And I as a parent had to sign the papers 18:49 to turn off the machines. Oh, yes. 18:51 You know, when you go through that 18:53 I have a totally different philosophy 18:55 with my other girl. Absolutely. 18:56 You know, and Neriah knows it and she's without it, 18:58 she's loved but she also knows that 19:00 papa's not gonna pull you punches 19:02 if there is something in-- you know, to be worried about. 19:04 I'm going to make sure she's knows it 19:05 because I love her that I have these things turned on. 19:09 I want to be a part of her life. 19:11 I think of all of these technological terms 19:14 like webcamming and the chat rooms 19:18 that a lot of parents have never been to. 19:21 How can we educate ourselves on this 19:23 for the hairy parent that has so little time? 19:27 How can we get up to snuff with our kids? 19:30 A couple of ways, there are several resources 19:31 I have on my personal website, es-es.net. 19:36 And I have done this specifically-- 19:37 Yes, let's slow down because you are inviting people 19:40 to come to your personal website. 19:42 To my personal website. And that is es-es.net. 19:48 That is correct. Okay. 19:50 And on there you've got some resources that parents, 19:53 did you all hear that? 19:55 es-es.net, go there and tune in, 20:01 I mean to click on and find some of these resources 20:04 that can help educate you. 20:06 And I've-- I have narrated PowerPoints 20:09 where I'm actually going through a PowerPoint 20:10 and it's narrated. Okay. 20:12 So you can pause it, you can go back 20:14 if you didn't quite understand the terminology 20:16 and you can replay it. Very good. 20:18 I have some that are on wireless 20:19 if you are running wireless in your house how to secure it. 20:21 I've got ones that are specifically dealing 20:22 with cyber predators and bullies. 20:25 There is livewires which is a game online 20:27 that you can play with your kids. 20:29 That will help them realize if they're being-- 20:31 if someone is trying to be a cyber predator 20:33 towards them or being bullied. 20:35 There is Web Wise Kids, Netsmartz, wonderful resources 20:40 and they are all linked off my website. 20:41 So you are essentially saying, educate your children 20:44 how to avoid the predators as well. 20:46 So specifically what are some of the things 20:49 that kids can do to identify 20:53 or maybe have that red flag go up there. 20:56 Oops, this is an online predator. 20:59 When I talked and I've talked to several young people. 21:01 I've gone to some schools and I've talked to young people, 21:03 when they go in, I say if they are starting to be secretive, 21:06 if they try to alienate you from your family. Okay. 21:09 You see the alienation happen, then there's a problem. 21:12 And as parents we need to see these signs too. 21:14 If you start getting gifts, if you start receiving emails, 21:18 I tell the kids read through this. 21:20 Can I put just any name at the top of this 21:22 and can I send it to 10 other people? 21:24 If there's no specific information 21:26 it deals just with you, if the answer is yes 21:28 that means it's probably a cyber predator 21:30 that is sending this to 8 to 15 other people all at once. 21:33 And I've come across this even at our school, 21:35 we had a girl start getting gifts and stuff. 21:37 And then we look, we went back and looked at her email logs, 21:39 we said there's a problem 21:40 and turned out the guy she was under 18, 21:42 the guy she was corresponding with was 35 year old 21:44 insurance agent. Wow. 21:46 So you know, there was-- it was really easy to tell 21:48 because all the emails were so generic, 21:51 I could have sent them to 100 people 21:52 and it would have been accurate. 21:53 So often it looks like there's nothing 21:55 that's personal identifiable to you, 21:56 you know, just short little notes 21:58 then there's a problem 'cause it's probably been 21:59 sent to many people. 22:01 So you look for that, 22:02 you look for them trying to seclude you, 22:03 you look for them trying to say, 22:04 they like the same thing, they dislike the same thing, 22:07 you know, and then trying to get secretive. Okay. 22:10 And especially if a stranger is asking to meet. 22:13 I guess you would tell them if some kid says, 22:15 "Yeah, but mom, this is my best friend." Right. 22:17 We've developed such friendship, 22:18 I guess the only way to do it, you say don't go there 22:20 unless you are with your parent. 22:22 I will say don't go there unless you're with your parent 22:24 and even that I'm shying away from that 22:26 even a little bit more now because there have been-- 22:28 some parents that have been hurt too 22:30 that have gone with their kids 22:31 and met supposedly in a public, you know, space. 22:34 So to me I'm very, very cautious of meeting online people 22:38 that you've never met in the real world. 22:40 The best philosophy is your online friend 22:42 should be the same as your real life friends. Okay. 22:45 And for those kids that don't have real life friends, 22:49 I mean there are some that are just shut in, 22:50 and that makes them even more vulnerable. 22:52 So parents, if your child, 22:54 if you know that they're going through a time in their school 22:57 where they are feeling isolated, 22:59 you need to try to get them 23:00 into some kind of group activities locally 23:03 where there's human beings that you can see 23:06 and feel and touch. 23:07 And that you can know, come to know as well. 23:11 And there is so much that we want, 23:14 you've talked about in previous program 23:17 that we need to keep private information private 23:20 and you're not particularly excited about 23:23 people posting personal photos on the internet, are you? 23:27 I'm not because that once they are up there, 23:29 they are up there for life. 23:30 Where you can take the case of one young lady who-- 23:33 in Pennsylvania who's gonna become a teacher. 23:35 But because she had pictures of herself 23:37 doing inappropriate stuff under age drinking at a party, 23:40 the college denied her, you know, a degree in teaching. 23:44 Miss New Jersey just about lost her crown 23:45 'cause she had inappropriate pictures posted on the internet. 23:48 I mean we can sit here and go over 23:49 case after case all day long. 23:52 When I was a kid, we did some silly things, 23:53 we made some bad mistakes, all the kids do. 23:56 But we didn't live in the era 23:57 of the digital cameras and the internet. 23:59 And that's why I try to explain to these kids 24:00 you now live in the era 24:01 of digital cameras and the internet, 24:03 you post that online it stays online forever. 24:05 Even if you delete it, it goes to the World Wide Web archive. 24:09 So they need to realize 24:10 the dangers of posting stuff online. 24:13 And then once it's up it's good for-- 24:14 it's up there forever. 24:15 Now, we often hear this idea that parents 24:18 one way of protecting their children is to make sure that 24:23 instead of putting the computer in the children's room 24:26 where you cannot have a visual oversight 24:29 and have that teenage, 24:31 teenage to be aware that at any moment 24:33 you could walk up on them, 24:34 they say to keep that in an open area. 24:38 And I recommend the living room. 24:40 And my wife and I well, it's not the best decor 24:42 in the living room and her and I've talked about that 24:43 but as Neriah is getting older, 24:45 when she finally gets to the age 24:46 where she will be on the computer herself, 24:47 the one that she will have internet access 24:48 will be in the very center, it will be in the living room. 24:51 In the central location so that we are walking 24:53 past that all the time. 24:55 She will know that we have 24:56 and will look at internet log files. 24:58 We want to know, what's a part of her life. Okay. 25:01 So just because that's so important. That's good. 25:04 So how do I know if-- how do parents recognize 25:09 if their children are being groomed? Okay. 25:13 You said something about the gifts, 25:14 what if they're being groomed by-- 25:16 I mean are there tell-tale signs that you can say, 25:19 there's some change in my child's behavior? 25:21 Well, that's actually one of the first signs right there. 25:23 There's usually a change, 25:25 they either get a little darker if you want to call that way. 25:27 I said, I'm talking about being groomed by a predator, 25:29 that's what I'm saying. Right. 25:30 If they are being groomed by predator 25:31 what they are going to try and do is they are going to try 25:32 and alienate them from the rest of the family. Okay. 25:35 You're gonna notice more confrontations. 25:37 You're gonna notice a lot more of that 25:39 they want to be online all the time or that they want 25:41 they're always talking to this one particular friend. Okay. 25:44 That person will start out 25:45 by just sending emails and stuff like that 25:47 but then eventually get to telephone messages. 25:50 And they will start calling them 25:51 and they will try to webcam with them. 25:53 I honestly see no reason for a kid to have a webcam 25:57 unless the computer is sitting in a central location 25:59 and they are talking with grandparents 26:00 or friends stuff like that, 26:01 that you know exactly what they are dealing with. 26:04 And explain for some that don't even know 26:06 what a webcam is. Okay. 26:07 A webcam is a little camera 26:09 that sits on top of your monitor that you could sit there 26:10 and see pictures of the other person. 26:12 And my little girl webcams with you know, 26:14 the grandparents that are in Colorado and Idaho. 26:17 You know, she loves they talk to each other 26:18 and they have fun. 26:19 But you know that's in a very controlled environment. Yes. 26:22 Whereas if a parent is not there 26:24 you really don't know what's happening. 26:26 So how frequently do you believe that 26:29 inappropriate information is being filtered 26:31 to our children through the internet 26:34 and chat rooms and this type of thing? 26:38 It's everywhere, most of the kids 26:39 who want to go out and play games 26:40 it's on the gaming sites. It's on the-- 26:43 what they call crack sites where if they don't-- 26:45 they want to go download a game 26:46 for free that they didn't pay for. 26:47 Then they had to go download a serial key for it. 26:50 Those sites have been inappropriate content. 26:52 I mean it's just out there on all the sites 26:55 that where young people would normally want to go to. 26:58 So it's just something that a parent cannot be too cautious. 27:02 I don't think so but I think at the same time 27:03 you can send them to the good that's online. 27:05 Well, you know, we're already out of time 27:09 but I do want to thank you so much, Ernest Staats, 27:12 for being with us again today and you will come back. 27:15 Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. 27:17 You know, I-- this is going way too fast 27:20 but I hope we are going to have Ernest come back 27:23 and we're gonna be talking again about internet safety. 27:26 And I hope that this is being used as a wake up call 27:29 for many of you because we don't realize 27:32 the danger that's lurking out there. 27:34 And Paul wrote as I said to the Corinthians 27:37 and said, "We've got to be aware of the devil's devices." 27:41 There's nothing inherently evil about the internet 27:45 but there's a lot of the evil on the internet. 27:47 So you've got to be careful. 27:49 So right now we pray that the grace of our Lord Jesus, 27:53 the love of the Father 27:54 and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit 27:55 will be with you always. |
Revised 2014-12-17