Hello I'm Shelley Quinn
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and welcome again to
"Issues and Answers."
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It's always our
delight to come into your home
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and talk about issues that
are affecting us as Christians
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and just us as human beings.
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And we are very happy
to have someone here today
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to give us some
very important answers
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on the issue of cyber
bullying and cyber predators.
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And that's talking about
what's going on in the internet.
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You know, Paul
wrote to the Corinthians
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and he says to them
in 2 Corinthians 2:11
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that to keep Satan
from-- he's talking about
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how to keep Satan from
getting the advantage of us.
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And he says, "We are not
ignorant of his devices."
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We have got to learn.
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The only way you can be not
ignorant is to be knowledgeable.
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And there's so many of us
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who are really not knowledgeable
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when it comes to
internet predators
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and internet bully-- bullying
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and how we can
protect ourselves.
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But today joining us again
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and we are just so glad
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to have you come
back, Ernest. Thank you.
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This is Ernest Staats
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and you are the
information technology director
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for the
Georgia-Cumberland Academy
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in Calhoun,
Georgia. That's correct.
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And you don't sound like
you're from Georgia. I'm not.
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Where are you from originally?
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Originally born in
Mount Vernon, Ohio. Okay.
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And then moved to New Jersey
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and then my parents who came out
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and as we moved
to Colorado. Okay.
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Colorado is what I
call home. All right.
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So I was gonna say you
don't have that Georgia accent.
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You know, I come from--
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well, it's not
important but from the south.
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And when I get
around Mollie Steenson
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who's our general manger
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and she's got
that Alabama accent.
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And the two of us get together
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and it just gets
thicker and thicker.
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So we have to be so careful.
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So before we dive into
this topic of cyber predators
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and bullying and what we can do.
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You know, this is very alarming,
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there's some
very unsavory things
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that are happening out there.
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What is the number one thing
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that you want to
make us aware of?
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That it's not rocket science.
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But most of the time
parents get really worried
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and say, "I'm so
worried about what's online
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and my kid being,
you know, preyed upon."
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But I always tell
them if you are involved
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with your children's
life, you got to know
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there's some red
flags going off. Okay.
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So as long as you're
involved with their real life
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and their online
life, then you can rest,
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I think a lot easier at night.
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But if you're not involved,
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if you aren't
involved in their real life
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and not in their online life
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then this is the time
to start saying, "Hey,
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I know your friends from school,
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I like to know some
of your online friends
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and just I want to
be a part of your life
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all the way around." All right.
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And that's, you
know, it's very difficult,
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there are some parents
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that really know very
little about the internet.
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But you're saying that
parents need to be educated
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and they, they
got to learn the ways
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that they can protect
their family online. They do.
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And one of the great
sources is your children
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for education. Okay.
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I'm--you know,
I've got a masters
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and I've security
alphabets suit behind my name
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which means I
took a lot of tests
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and studied lot of things.
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But I still would
never make the claim
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that I've got it
all figured out. Yeah.
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There's lot of times a
young person will come to me
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and say, "Mr. Staats,
have you heard of this?"
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And I'll say,
"No, tell me about it."
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And then they will start
'cause they like to know,
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they like to begin to know.
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So they will
tell you all about it
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and also give me some
more information on that.
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And then we learn it together.
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And as parents it
can be the same way.
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You can say, "Hey, I really
want to know more about this."
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And so really what you're saying
is parents have got to dedicate,
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if they want to
protect their family
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and their children online.
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They have got to become involved
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and that requires a
dedication of time to this.
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You've just got to
make up your mind. Right.
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That there's
something else that has to go
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because I don't think sometimes,
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you know, a lot of
parents don't realize
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how real the danger
is for online predators
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and online bullying.
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So what are some of the steps
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that you teach as how
to protect your family?
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One of the first
steps I tell them,
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make sure your children
and yourself realize it,
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life rules apply online.
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It's so easy
because you're not seeing
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someone's face, to sit there
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and type something
that may be not very nice.
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If you step back and
say, oh, how does that sound?
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I mean, I sent an
email just, for example,
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yesterday I sent an email
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and I was just trying
to get information quick.
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And the person
sent me back saying,
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"Ernest, I'm sorry,
that was offensive."
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And I read the
email and I was like,
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oh, I could have
been taken offensive,
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I didn't mean it offensive.
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I was just trying to
get to the information,
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my wife accuses
me of being a robot
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half of the time anyways
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but, you know, I
just want the information
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and let's move on.
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You know, but
and I didn't realized
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that came across so strong--
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We have all been guilty
of that from time to time.
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And it's easy to do
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and I think
that's one of the things
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helping our young people realize
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make sure that
they know that modesty,
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modesty is a big issue.
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If you look at
young women's clothing,
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you know, you go
look at the racks,
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I mean, I've got a 4-year-old,
even some of the stuff
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they're selling for 4-year-olds,
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I'm sitting like, I
don't want my girl wearing that
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'cause my wife and
I've made the philosophy
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what she's wearing now,
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we want her to feel comfortable
wearing when she's 16. Yes.
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So, you know,
sometimes people say,
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they're little kids, it's okay.
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Well, no, I don't
want, all of a sudden
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when she becomes teenager,
I change all the rules.
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That's good point, excellent.
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So what we're trying to
do is find modest clothes
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even now you look at it and say,
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well, that's
okay, little bit edgy.
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But you take the same picture
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or the same piece of clothing
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and you put it online and
what was a little bit edgy,
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now that it's online has a
whole different flavor to it.
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That's good point, excellent.
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So that's where we try to
help at least at our school
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we try to help educate
the kids about dressing,
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look and think about this.
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And so and it's not just
like what you might say in a,
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you know, being curt in an email
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but for example if you're
writing about someone else,
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if you wouldn't
say something to them
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or post
something online on MySpace
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or these various
chat rooms about someone,
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just because if you
wouldn't say to their face
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and talk with them that you
just wouldn't put that online.
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Right and
that's really important
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for people to remember that.
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We're also trying to tell
them, don't talk to strangers,
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you know, most kids
grow up talking that
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you have three
times the more likelihood
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the statistics right
now, you have three times
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more likelihood of being
picked up by somebody online
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than just being nabbed
by somebody at Wal-Mart.
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Yes, absolutely.
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So, you know,
people tell their kids,
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parents tell
their kids be careful
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when you're walking at Wal-Mart,
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in case there's
someone looking at you,
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you know call us.
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Well, then they never take
that into the online world. Yes.
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And you're three times
more likely in the online world
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to come across a predator.
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And the kids are talking
to strangers all the time.
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Right and we find so many kids
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are posting their
cell phone numbers,
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are posting their schedules
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when they get
off closing shifts,
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you name it online.
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And so this is
information that they put--
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and you know, you
have the Peta files
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and the various sexual deviance
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who actually get online.
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And, I mean this is
their hunting ground
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if you will. Very much so.
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And the department of--
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the office of
juvenile justice prevention
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they have been asking
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the technology
world specifically
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what are the ways that
we can find and stop this.
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Because they made a
research on MySpace,
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they came across I
think there was like 600
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registered sex offenders
that had MySpace accounts.
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And several of them were acting
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like they were younger
aged kids. Oh, absolutely.
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And they lure these kids
into meeting them somewhere.
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We hear these stories
all the time in the media.
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So how do you--I mean
you should as a parent
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just have a flat,
even though you might--
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let me put it, let me
frame this question this way.
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Even though a parent may
say, don't talk to strangers,
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don't talk to, you know,
don't make an appointment.
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Is--how do you make it sure
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that your kids
aren't talking to strangers
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and that they aren't
making an appointment
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to meet a stranger?
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This--the
answer to that question
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I would say
depends on two things.
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If you have open communication,
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you should have a good
idea what's happening. Okay.
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If you don't, then
there is some software
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one of the piece of soft,
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one package of
software is called Spectra Pro.
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And that's where if
their lines of communication
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have broken down
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and you're
really concerned about
00:08:31.87\00:08:32.91
your young person Spectra Pro,
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it's kind of like a spyware
that installs on their computer
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and it will track
everything they type,
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screenshots click by click,
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you know exactly
what happens. Okay.
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I would highly recommend that.
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Can we put that on cell
phones and all the other?
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It can we put on cell phones
and that's the other thing.
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So really what you're saying is
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you need to have a
really great relationship.
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This is kind of an emergency
net if you will. Right.
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But it's not, I
mean it's developing
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that good
relationship with your kids
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because you might
protect them in your home
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but you don't know
what they are doing
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at someone else's computer.
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And you don't know what they
are doing on their cell phone
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or other places they can access
the internet. Very much so.
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And I'd highly
recommend for parents
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to not give their kids
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internet access
on their cell phone.
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First of all, it
will save them money
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and-- and I like that.
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Second of all I would also very
strongly recommend against that
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because there is no filter.
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And even if they come
across it accidentally.
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You know, one of the cities
recently done at a Christian,
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conservative
Christian college in Midwest.
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They found 75% of the males
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and 25% of the females admitted
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to intentionally
going to pornographic sites.
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Repeat those statistics.
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75% of the males
polled and 25% of the females
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admitted to
going to intentionally
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going to pornographic sites.
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And you know, what
they don't realize is that
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pornography is more
than just a one time kick.
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It's almost like for
some people taking cocaine
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or taking heroin
the very first time.
00:10:00.10\00:10:02.32
You know, now we
know that meth, not meth,
00:10:02.35\00:10:06.47
crack is that the one that
crystal meth. Crystal meth.
00:10:06.50\00:10:09.49
That's additive from
the first time forward.
00:10:09.52\00:10:12.85
And what pornography does
00:10:12.88\00:10:14.77
is actually release
brain chemistry that
00:10:14.80\00:10:17.88
if there's an
addiction that's involved.
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I mean it's as dangerous
as picking up the drug.
00:10:19.69\00:10:22.47
And it's not even just
pornography they're finding
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the online addiction
has the exact syndrome,
00:10:24.28\00:10:26.05
they have done
studies on this on the brain.
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And it has the exact same
addictive properties as cocaine.
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And it has the
arousal, the sensation.
00:10:31.19\00:10:33.48
You know all of that,
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that was typically
there with the drugs.
00:10:34.57\00:10:35.73
To be online.
00:10:35.76\00:10:37.44
To be online and it's part
00:10:37.47\00:10:38.93
'cause there's a little bit
of edge to the online world.
00:10:38.96\00:10:41.14
You know there is a
dark side that is just always
00:10:41.17\00:10:42.70
a little bit prevalent on there.
00:10:42.73\00:10:44.74
Because that's there, there
is just that addictive quality
00:10:44.77\00:10:47.08
to the online world.
See, even that shocks me.
00:10:47.11\00:10:50.50
I have to confess because
00:10:50.53\00:10:52.59
first of all I don't
have children. Right.
00:10:52.62\00:10:54.40
But to me I don't
see the online world
00:10:54.43\00:10:58.46
that edgy dark side
because I never visit that.
00:10:58.49\00:11:01.51
So my online world, my
idea of what the internet is
00:11:01.54\00:11:05.54
completely different than yours.
00:11:05.57\00:11:07.18
You're dealing with kids,
you're dealing with security
00:11:07.21\00:11:09.94
and so this is true
of probably many parents,
00:11:09.97\00:11:13.36
wouldn't you agree?
00:11:13.39\00:11:14.42
Oh, probably very much so.
00:11:14.45\00:11:16.31
What they don't
realize they will listen to--
00:11:16.34\00:11:18.43
you know, they will
hear from their kids,
00:11:18.46\00:11:19.82
"Oh, you got that
music, oh, that's great."
00:11:19.85\00:11:21.53
But did you buy
your child that music?
00:11:21.56\00:11:23.47
Even if it's Christian
00:11:23.50\00:11:24.83
'cause they have found out that
Christian music is downloaded
00:11:24.86\00:11:27.70
just as much illegally
as non Christian music.
00:11:27.73\00:11:31.27
And then we can justify
behind rational as well,
00:11:31.30\00:11:33.60
you know, it's
good Christian music.
00:11:33.63\00:11:35.36
But what comes with that?
00:11:35.39\00:11:36.54
Every time you get a
free download on the internet,
00:11:36.57\00:11:38.61
there is no such
thing as a free lunch.
00:11:38.64\00:11:40.78
And PBS--also listening
to PBS online the other day
00:11:40.81\00:11:44.58
and they were talking to people
00:11:44.61\00:11:45.64
who are in the
pornography industry.
00:11:45.67\00:11:47.52
They admit that with
every file they attach
00:11:47.55\00:11:49.66
when they put out
free music out there,
00:11:49.69\00:11:51.94
they attach pornographic
stuff with it to try and hook
00:11:51.97\00:11:54.20
and hooks in people. Yes.
00:11:54.23\00:11:55.72
It's part of their industry.
It's part of their bill.
00:11:55.75\00:11:58.21
And just as Paul
wrote to the Corinthians,
00:11:58.24\00:12:00.47
"We need to be aware
of the devil's devices."
00:12:00.50\00:12:05.52
Now what about these
emails that people get
00:12:05.55\00:12:08.24
and particularly in ministry
I get thousands of emails
00:12:08.27\00:12:12.36
and most of them are
from people I don't know.
00:12:12.39\00:12:15.99
Now we have an excellent filter
00:12:16.02\00:12:17.50
so it gets most of the junk out.
00:12:17.53\00:12:20.26
But what advice
would you give to parents
00:12:20.29\00:12:23.40
to teach their
children about emails
00:12:23.43\00:12:25.26
that they
receive from strangers?
00:12:25.29\00:12:27.91
If it's--especially
as a young person
00:12:27.94\00:12:30.12
most young people admit to
talking to strangers online.
00:12:30.15\00:12:33.12
So that's another part
00:12:33.15\00:12:34.26
where your kids need
to be educated saying,
00:12:34.29\00:12:36.58
really if you don't
know the person in real life,
00:12:36.61\00:12:38.54
I would really
especially for younger
00:12:38.57\00:12:40.34
they shouldn't
be talking to him.
00:12:40.37\00:12:42.09
It's better to just to lead him.
00:12:42.12\00:12:44.38
And it's better for
the parents to sit there
00:12:44.41\00:12:46.35
and say, "Do you know
this person, do you know this?"
00:12:46.38\00:12:48.14
And then if their friend say,
00:12:48.17\00:12:49.20
"I sent you an
email." What was it?
00:12:49.23\00:12:50.57
You know, what
was the email address
00:12:50.60\00:12:52.13
that it came from? Okay.
00:12:52.16\00:12:53.32
Okay, then you can go
back and undelete the email,
00:12:53.35\00:12:55.89
you don't read it
because what's happening is
00:12:55.92\00:12:57.74
there's some
very complex viruses
00:12:57.77\00:12:59.24
that are now coming
in emails too. Okay.
00:12:59.27\00:13:01.24
Then if you allow
to see it as a webpage,
00:13:01.27\00:13:03.44
it can then
infect your computer.
00:13:03.47\00:13:05.35
And, you know, which
has other implications too.
00:13:05.38\00:13:07.37
So there's a
couple different sites
00:13:07.40\00:13:08.93
part of it is
protecting their safety,
00:13:08.96\00:13:10.96
their soul that
you're worried about.
00:13:10.99\00:13:12.72
The other part is also make sure
00:13:12.75\00:13:13.78
you still have a computer
so they can do their homework
00:13:13.81\00:13:15.41
and the other parts that
are and valid in their life.
00:13:15.44\00:13:18.10
You know, I'm just sitting here
and I'm thinking, Ernest, that
00:13:18.13\00:13:22.84
for the parent who are both
00:13:22.87\00:13:25.23
either it's a single parent home
00:13:25.26\00:13:26.94
or maybe both parents work.
00:13:26.97\00:13:28.77
And for that child that
comes home alone after school
00:13:28.80\00:13:32.59
and feels lonely and
natural thing would be,
00:13:32.62\00:13:36.51
I mean a natural lure
would be to get on the internet
00:13:36.54\00:13:40.36
and talk to somebody.
00:13:40.39\00:13:42.02
And it how it's kind of I think
00:13:42.05\00:13:44.93
there's kind of a
high that kids get I think,
00:13:44.96\00:13:48.20
when they are talking
with strangers on the internet
00:13:48.23\00:13:50.38
because they can be somebody
00:13:50.41\00:13:52.64
they really aren't
in real life. Yeah.
00:13:52.67\00:13:54.94
And they don't
recognize the dangers,
00:13:54.97\00:13:56.54
so parents need to find
things for their children
00:13:56.57\00:13:59.63
to do after school.
00:13:59.66\00:14:00.76
We just have to be
very diligent, don't we?
00:14:00.79\00:14:03.63
We do, I mean I can--
there's a story of a young girl
00:14:03.66\00:14:06.24
who was 13
years old in Arkansas.
00:14:06.27\00:14:08.52
She went to a
Christian chat room.
00:14:08.55\00:14:10.73
She thought she was talking
to other Christians in there.
00:14:10.76\00:14:12.77
Her mother passed away,
00:14:12.80\00:14:13.83
her father was a single
father, was a police officer.
00:14:13.86\00:14:16.38
They lived in a country
00:14:16.41\00:14:17.77
so they thought
everything was safe,
00:14:17.80\00:14:18.93
he just thought
she was, you know,
00:14:18.96\00:14:19.99
talking to other
Christian friends. Right.
00:14:20.02\00:14:21.92
The only thing was true
about the man's profile was
00:14:21.95\00:14:23.71
he was from California.
00:14:23.74\00:14:25.01
He wasn't a young man
that she was talking to.
00:14:25.04\00:14:27.22
But what a
cyber predator will do
00:14:27.25\00:14:28.56
is they will
mere back to the kids
00:14:28.59\00:14:30.50
exact type of things
they are going through.
00:14:30.53\00:14:32.00
They will act awkward.
00:14:32.03\00:14:33.39
Teenagers are in between
the stage of being full adults
00:14:33.42\00:14:37.09
and being little kids.
00:14:37.12\00:14:38.56
So they kind of
have some idiosyncrasies
00:14:38.59\00:14:40.45
that are unique to teenagers.
00:14:40.48\00:14:42.06
Well, they are mere the
same type of idiosyncrasies,
00:14:42.09\00:14:44.28
the same type of fears.
00:14:44.31\00:14:45.90
And then he saw
that she lost her mother
00:14:45.93\00:14:47.85
so then supposedly he
lost his hand a week later.
00:14:47.88\00:14:51.17
So I started sharing
scripture verses back and forth
00:14:51.20\00:14:53.08
and encouraging each other.
00:14:53.11\00:14:54.82
Well, he was actually a predator
and he actually found out
00:14:54.85\00:14:57.00
what her dad
schedule was, everything else.
00:14:57.03\00:14:59.29
Even though they
lived in a country
00:14:59.32\00:15:00.85
he flew from
California to Arkansas went
00:15:00.88\00:15:03.55
grab her off the
computer and killed her. Oh.
00:15:03.58\00:15:05.95
So, you know, and that was
just where the parent thought,
00:15:05.98\00:15:08.88
well, she's just talking to
Christian, we were in a country,
00:15:08.91\00:15:10.59
I'm a police
officer, life will be fine.
00:15:10.62\00:15:12.87
You don't have that guarantee.
00:15:12.90\00:15:14.43
You know, we're hearing
these stories more and more
00:15:14.46\00:15:17.17
on the local news
even when recently
00:15:17.20\00:15:19.87
we had something
where the FBI is now,
00:15:19.90\00:15:22.63
you know, they found
some predators online.
00:15:22.66\00:15:25.01
And it seems that I mean there's
no real way of policing this
00:15:25.04\00:15:30.61
because it's just
too big of a problem
00:15:30.64\00:15:32.91
and too big of a world.
00:15:32.94\00:15:34.40
But how much of this
I mean do you feel like
00:15:34.43\00:15:36.86
it's much more
prevalent than what we realize.
00:15:36.89\00:15:40.10
I think it's more, we
just heard the media hype
00:15:40.13\00:15:41.96
on the certain cases.
00:15:41.99\00:15:43.20
There's a lot of stuff that
goes unreported, unfortunately.
00:15:43.23\00:15:47.04
And just to kind of give
you a little bit of an idea
00:15:47.07\00:15:49.18
of some of the statistics
that I brought with me today.
00:15:49.21\00:15:51.74
The child goes missing in
United States every 40 seconds.
00:15:51.77\00:15:55.38
And out of that 40--
00:15:55.41\00:15:56.66
out of those
child that goes missing
00:15:56.69\00:15:58.63
two-thirds of all
missing child reports
00:15:58.66\00:16:00.32
are teenagers of 15 and 17.
00:16:00.35\00:16:03.35
And in that group two-fifth
of the missing children
00:16:03.38\00:16:07.97
are actually due
to internet activity.
00:16:08.00\00:16:10.56
Two fifths? Two fifths.
00:16:10.59\00:16:12.55
And that number is not
going down, it's rising.
00:16:12.58\00:16:15.04
So it's very
common for the child
00:16:15.07\00:16:16.98
to have a different persona,
they don't realize though.
00:16:17.01\00:16:19.88
And when I've
listened to some liberal media,
00:16:19.91\00:16:21.73
some non Christian psychologist,
00:16:21.76\00:16:24.28
they talk about the fact
00:16:24.31\00:16:25.34
that the frontal
lobe on young people
00:16:25.37\00:16:26.97
is not developed,
00:16:27.00\00:16:28.20
not till they are
about 21 or so. Yes.
00:16:28.23\00:16:30.26
So they don't--
and the frontal lobe
00:16:30.29\00:16:31.56
is where you
get your discernment
00:16:31.59\00:16:33.19
where you know whether
this is right or wrong.
00:16:33.22\00:16:35.25
Well, so they don't
have the red flags going off
00:16:35.28\00:16:37.48
and this person is
sending them gifts.
00:16:37.51\00:16:39.41
When this person is
telling them let's be secretive.
00:16:39.44\00:16:42.05
They don't see this happening
00:16:42.08\00:16:43.70
but as a parent if your
child starts being secretive,
00:16:43.73\00:16:46.34
starts deleting
internet log files,
00:16:46.37\00:16:48.21
these are all red flags.
00:16:48.24\00:16:49.89
But you may say, wait a minute,
00:16:49.92\00:16:50.95
something is going wrong
here, we need to talk. Okay.
00:16:50.98\00:16:54.03
So specifically
what can parents do
00:16:54.06\00:16:57.57
to protect their children?
00:16:57.60\00:17:00.61
And you know we really haven't
talked about online bullying
00:17:00.64\00:17:03.51
so much as we
have of the predators.
00:17:03.54\00:17:05.51
But there is
also the hurt feelings
00:17:05.54\00:17:08.10
and the bullying
that's going on online.
00:17:08.13\00:17:10.55
How can we protect
our children from this?
00:17:10.58\00:17:13.83
Again, it comes
back to being involved--
00:17:13.86\00:17:15.94
one of the things I'd
recommend is that you have,
00:17:15.97\00:17:17.86
you know, what your
children websites they go to.
00:17:17.89\00:17:20.06
You know some of
the different places
00:17:20.09\00:17:22.11
where they post messages.
00:17:22.14\00:17:23.61
But now, what if
the parent is saying,
00:17:23.64\00:17:25.98
"I know, you know, I
know how to get my email."
00:17:26.01\00:17:28.13
Right. And that's about it.
00:17:28.16\00:17:29.37
So how do I track
this or know where,
00:17:29.40\00:17:33.14
you know maybe I've
talked with my child
00:17:33.17\00:17:34.87
but I don't feel like
they are being responsive.
00:17:34.90\00:17:37.05
How can I find
out this information?
00:17:37.08\00:17:40.19
You can use a
software like Spectra Pro.
00:17:40.22\00:17:41.89
You can start putting
on some filtering software.
00:17:41.92\00:17:44.55
You as a parent have the
right to go to the cell company
00:17:44.58\00:17:47.11
and say, I want their chat logs.
00:17:47.14\00:17:49.01
You know, you can pull
some of this information
00:17:49.04\00:17:50.91
out on their cell phone.
00:17:50.94\00:17:52.71
You have the right
'cause most of the them have
00:17:52.74\00:17:54.26
GPS trackers on them. Okay.
00:17:54.29\00:17:56.10
You can say, I want to know
00:17:56.13\00:17:57.37
if my child goes
outside this radius.
00:17:57.40\00:17:59.16
And most cell phone
companies will give you
00:17:59.19\00:18:01.13
an email or text message
or telephone call saying that
00:18:01.16\00:18:04.14
this cell phone is gone without
this 10 mile radius. Okay.
00:18:04.17\00:18:06.94
So there are
several different methods
00:18:06.97\00:18:08.58
that a parent can use
if you think there are
00:18:08.61\00:18:10.20
some more concerns there.
00:18:10.23\00:18:11.54
And you know what, a
lot of children of course
00:18:11.57\00:18:14.38
if you tell them this
is what you're going to do.
00:18:14.41\00:18:16.61
There are gonna
whine, there are gonna kick
00:18:16.64\00:18:18.41
and scream and holler
and say, "You don't trust me"
00:18:18.44\00:18:21.06
and try to put
that guilt trip on you.
00:18:21.09\00:18:23.38
But it comes down to like
you said that frontal lobe
00:18:23.41\00:18:27.54
isn't developed and
parents need to be parents
00:18:27.57\00:18:30.51
and they can't be
their children's best friend,
00:18:30.54\00:18:32.51
and they just have to
say, you want this cell phone,
00:18:32.54\00:18:34.43
you get the GPS with it. Right.
00:18:34.46\00:18:36.07
And I'm gonna know
where you are. Right.
00:18:36.10\00:18:38.65
Well, and then
probably letting them know that
00:18:38.68\00:18:40.33
it's because I
love you. Absolutely.
00:18:40.36\00:18:42.03
You know, I kind of have a
different philosophy on this.
00:18:42.06\00:18:45.23
Our first daughter passed away.
00:18:45.26\00:18:47.30
And I as a parent
had to sign the papers
00:18:47.33\00:18:49.45
to turn off the
machines. Oh, yes.
00:18:49.48\00:18:51.57
You know, when
you go through that
00:18:51.60\00:18:53.90
I have a totally
different philosophy
00:18:53.93\00:18:55.45
with my other girl. Absolutely.
00:18:55.48\00:18:56.95
You know, and Neriah
knows it and she's without it,
00:18:56.98\00:18:58.86
she's loved but
she also knows that
00:18:58.89\00:19:00.44
papa's not
gonna pull you punches
00:19:00.47\00:19:02.37
if there is something in--
you know, to be worried about.
00:19:02.40\00:19:04.78
I'm going to make
sure she's knows it
00:19:04.81\00:19:05.87
because I love her that I
have these things turned on.
00:19:05.90\00:19:09.02
I want to be a part of her life.
00:19:09.05\00:19:11.69
I think of all of
these technological terms
00:19:11.72\00:19:14.68
like webcamming
and the chat rooms
00:19:14.71\00:19:18.89
that a lot of
parents have never been to.
00:19:18.92\00:19:21.39
How can we
educate ourselves on this
00:19:21.42\00:19:23.85
for the hairy parent
that has so little time?
00:19:23.88\00:19:27.33
How can we get up
to snuff with our kids?
00:19:27.36\00:19:30.16
A couple of ways,
there are several resources
00:19:30.19\00:19:31.83
I have on my
personal website, es-es.net.
00:19:31.86\00:19:36.10
And I have done
this specifically--
00:19:36.13\00:19:37.95
Yes, let's slow down
because you are inviting people
00:19:37.98\00:19:40.60
to come to your
personal website.
00:19:40.63\00:19:42.29
To my personal
website. And that is es-es.net.
00:19:42.32\00:19:48.59
That is correct. Okay.
00:19:48.62\00:19:50.06
And on there you've got
some resources that parents,
00:19:50.09\00:19:53.52
did you all hear that?
00:19:53.55\00:19:55.01
es-es.net, go there and tune in,
00:19:55.04\00:20:01.55
I mean to click on and
find some of these resources
00:20:01.58\00:20:04.30
that can help educate you.
00:20:04.33\00:20:06.54
And I've-- I have
narrated PowerPoints
00:20:06.57\00:20:09.19
where I'm actually
going through a PowerPoint
00:20:09.22\00:20:10.74
and it's narrated. Okay.
00:20:10.77\00:20:12.30
So you can pause
it, you can go back
00:20:12.33\00:20:14.07
if you didn't quite
understand the terminology
00:20:14.10\00:20:16.43
and you can
replay it. Very good.
00:20:16.46\00:20:18.06
I have some that are on wireless
00:20:18.09\00:20:19.61
if you are running wireless
in your house how to secure it.
00:20:19.64\00:20:21.42
I've got ones that
are specifically dealing
00:20:21.45\00:20:22.92
with cyber
predators and bullies.
00:20:22.95\00:20:25.32
There is livewires
which is a game online
00:20:25.35\00:20:27.87
that you can
play with your kids.
00:20:27.90\00:20:29.44
That will help them
realize if they're being--
00:20:29.47\00:20:31.19
if someone is trying
to be a cyber predator
00:20:31.22\00:20:33.49
towards them or being bullied.
00:20:33.52\00:20:35.67
There is Web Wise Kids,
Netsmartz, wonderful resources
00:20:35.70\00:20:40.08
and they are all
linked off my website.
00:20:40.11\00:20:41.76
So you are essentially
saying, educate your children
00:20:41.79\00:20:44.55
how to avoid the
predators as well.
00:20:44.58\00:20:46.73
So specifically what
are some of the things
00:20:46.76\00:20:49.19
that kids can do to identify
00:20:49.22\00:20:53.71
or maybe have that
red flag go up there.
00:20:53.74\00:20:56.56
Oops, this is
an online predator.
00:20:56.59\00:20:59.15
When I talked and I've
talked to several young people.
00:20:59.18\00:21:01.18
I've gone to some schools
and I've talked to young people,
00:21:01.21\00:21:03.07
when they go in, I say if they
are starting to be secretive,
00:21:03.10\00:21:06.70
if they try to alienate
you from your family. Okay.
00:21:06.73\00:21:09.73
You see the alienation
happen, then there's a problem.
00:21:09.76\00:21:12.47
And as parents we need
to see these signs too.
00:21:12.50\00:21:14.60
If you start getting gifts,
if you start receiving emails,
00:21:14.63\00:21:18.62
I tell the kids
read through this.
00:21:18.65\00:21:20.34
Can I put just any
name at the top of this
00:21:20.37\00:21:22.60
and can I send it
to 10 other people?
00:21:22.63\00:21:24.53
If there's no
specific information
00:21:24.56\00:21:26.08
it deals just with
you, if the answer is yes
00:21:26.11\00:21:28.90
that means it's
probably a cyber predator
00:21:28.93\00:21:30.43
that is sending this to 8
to 15 other people all at once.
00:21:30.46\00:21:33.81
And I've come across
this even at our school,
00:21:33.84\00:21:35.37
we had a girl start
getting gifts and stuff.
00:21:35.40\00:21:37.41
And then we look, we went back
and looked at her email logs,
00:21:37.44\00:21:39.51
we said there's a problem
00:21:39.54\00:21:40.81
and turned out the
guy she was under 18,
00:21:40.84\00:21:42.58
the guy she was corresponding
with was 35 year old
00:21:42.61\00:21:44.57
insurance agent. Wow.
00:21:44.60\00:21:46.39
So you know, there was--
it was really easy to tell
00:21:46.42\00:21:48.95
because all the
emails were so generic,
00:21:48.98\00:21:51.23
I could have sent
them to 100 people
00:21:51.26\00:21:52.41
and it would have been accurate.
00:21:52.44\00:21:53.94
So often it looks
like there's nothing
00:21:53.97\00:21:55.05
that's personal
identifiable to you,
00:21:55.08\00:21:56.66
you know, just
short little notes
00:21:56.69\00:21:58.06
then there's a problem
'cause it's probably been
00:21:58.09\00:21:59.45
sent to many people.
00:21:59.48\00:22:01.04
So you look for that,
00:22:01.07\00:22:02.10
you look for them
trying to seclude you,
00:22:02.13\00:22:03.47
you look for them trying to say,
00:22:03.50\00:22:04.71
they like the same thing,
they dislike the same thing,
00:22:04.74\00:22:07.53
you know, and then
trying to get secretive. Okay.
00:22:07.56\00:22:10.32
And especially if a
stranger is asking to meet.
00:22:10.35\00:22:13.15
I guess you would
tell them if some kid says,
00:22:13.18\00:22:15.16
"Yeah, but mom, this
is my best friend." Right.
00:22:15.19\00:22:17.29
We've developed such friendship,
00:22:17.32\00:22:18.60
I guess the only way to
do it, you say don't go there
00:22:18.63\00:22:20.84
unless you are with your parent.
00:22:20.87\00:22:22.28
I will say don't go there
unless you're with your parent
00:22:22.31\00:22:24.09
and even that I'm
shying away from that
00:22:24.12\00:22:26.58
even a little bit more
now because there have been--
00:22:26.61\00:22:28.90
some parents that
have been hurt too
00:22:28.93\00:22:30.08
that have gone with their kids
00:22:30.11\00:22:31.15
and met supposedly in a
public, you know, space.
00:22:31.18\00:22:34.20
So to me I'm very, very cautious
of meeting online people
00:22:34.23\00:22:38.45
that you've never
met in the real world.
00:22:38.48\00:22:40.31
The best philosophy
is your online friend
00:22:40.34\00:22:42.79
should be the same as
your real life friends. Okay.
00:22:42.82\00:22:45.88
And for those kids that
don't have real life friends,
00:22:45.91\00:22:49.37
I mean there are some
that are just shut in,
00:22:49.40\00:22:50.89
and that makes them
even more vulnerable.
00:22:50.92\00:22:52.70
So parents, if your child,
00:22:52.73\00:22:54.52
if you know that they're going
through a time in their school
00:22:54.55\00:22:57.31
where they are feeling isolated,
00:22:57.34\00:22:59.82
you need to try to get them
00:22:59.85\00:23:00.93
into some kind of
group activities locally
00:23:00.96\00:23:03.27
where there's human
beings that you can see
00:23:03.30\00:23:06.41
and feel and touch.
00:23:06.44\00:23:07.84
And that you can
know, come to know as well.
00:23:07.87\00:23:11.93
And there is so
much that we want,
00:23:11.96\00:23:14.33
you've talked
about in previous program
00:23:14.36\00:23:17.13
that we need to keep
private information private
00:23:17.16\00:23:20.04
and you're not
particularly excited about
00:23:20.07\00:23:23.63
people posting personal
photos on the internet, are you?
00:23:23.66\00:23:27.00
I'm not because that
once they are up there,
00:23:27.03\00:23:29.12
they are up there for life.
00:23:29.15\00:23:30.68
Where you can take the
case of one young lady who--
00:23:30.71\00:23:33.03
in Pennsylvania who's
gonna become a teacher.
00:23:33.06\00:23:35.42
But because she
had pictures of herself
00:23:35.45\00:23:37.20
doing inappropriate stuff
under age drinking at a party,
00:23:37.23\00:23:40.36
the college denied her,
you know, a degree in teaching.
00:23:40.39\00:23:44.20
Miss New Jersey
just about lost her crown
00:23:44.23\00:23:45.95
'cause she had inappropriate
pictures posted on the internet.
00:23:45.98\00:23:48.53
I mean we can
sit here and go over
00:23:48.56\00:23:49.78
case after case all day long.
00:23:49.81\00:23:52.11
When I was a kid, we
did some silly things,
00:23:52.14\00:23:53.87
we made some bad
mistakes, all the kids do.
00:23:53.90\00:23:56.26
But we didn't live in the era
00:23:56.29\00:23:57.32
of the digital
cameras and the internet.
00:23:57.35\00:23:59.50
And that's why I try
to explain to these kids
00:23:59.53\00:24:00.89
you now live in the era
00:24:00.92\00:24:01.95
of digital
cameras and the internet,
00:24:01.98\00:24:03.79
you post that online
it stays online forever.
00:24:03.82\00:24:05.80
Even if you delete it, it goes
to the World Wide Web archive.
00:24:05.83\00:24:09.38
So they need to realize
00:24:09.41\00:24:10.44
the dangers of
posting stuff online.
00:24:10.47\00:24:13.15
And then once
it's up it's good for--
00:24:13.18\00:24:14.34
it's up there forever.
00:24:14.37\00:24:15.45
Now, we often hear
this idea that parents
00:24:15.48\00:24:18.83
one way of protecting their
children is to make sure that
00:24:18.86\00:24:23.42
instead of putting the
computer in the children's room
00:24:23.45\00:24:26.27
where you cannot
have a visual oversight
00:24:26.30\00:24:29.80
and have that teenage,
00:24:29.83\00:24:31.43
teenage to be
aware that at any moment
00:24:31.46\00:24:33.12
you could walk up on them,
00:24:33.15\00:24:34.18
they say to keep
that in an open area.
00:24:34.21\00:24:38.24
And I recommend the living room.
00:24:38.27\00:24:40.13
And my wife and I
well, it's not the best decor
00:24:40.16\00:24:42.11
in the living room and
her and I've talked about that
00:24:42.14\00:24:43.64
but as Neriah is getting older,
00:24:43.67\00:24:45.44
when she finally gets to the age
00:24:45.47\00:24:46.50
where she will be on
the computer herself,
00:24:46.53\00:24:47.62
the one that she
will have internet access
00:24:47.65\00:24:48.96
will be in the very center,
it will be in the living room.
00:24:48.99\00:24:51.76
In the central
location so that we are walking
00:24:51.79\00:24:53.80
past that all the time.
00:24:53.83\00:24:55.06
She will know that we have
00:24:55.09\00:24:56.32
and will look at
internet log files.
00:24:56.35\00:24:58.42
We want to know, what's
a part of her life. Okay.
00:24:58.45\00:25:00.98
So just because that's
so important. That's good.
00:25:01.01\00:25:04.23
So how do I know if--
how do parents recognize
00:25:04.26\00:25:09.83
if their children
are being groomed? Okay.
00:25:09.86\00:25:13.21
You said
something about the gifts,
00:25:13.24\00:25:14.79
what if they're
being groomed by--
00:25:14.82\00:25:16.50
I mean are there tell-tale
signs that you can say,
00:25:16.53\00:25:19.06
there's some change
in my child's behavior?
00:25:19.09\00:25:21.89
Well, that's actually one
of the first signs right there.
00:25:21.92\00:25:23.85
There's usually a change,
00:25:23.88\00:25:25.28
they either get a little darker
if you want to call that way.
00:25:25.31\00:25:27.34
I said, I'm talking about
being groomed by a predator,
00:25:27.37\00:25:29.48
that's what I'm saying. Right.
00:25:29.51\00:25:30.54
If they are being
groomed by predator
00:25:30.57\00:25:31.60
what they are going to try
and do is they are going to try
00:25:31.63\00:25:32.66
and alienate them from
the rest of the family. Okay.
00:25:32.69\00:25:35.08
You're gonna notice
more confrontations.
00:25:35.11\00:25:37.10
You're gonna
notice a lot more of that
00:25:37.13\00:25:39.44
they want to be online
all the time or that they want
00:25:39.47\00:25:41.82
they're always talking to this
one particular friend. Okay.
00:25:41.85\00:25:44.58
That person will start out
00:25:44.61\00:25:45.79
by just sending
emails and stuff like that
00:25:45.82\00:25:47.56
but then eventually
get to telephone messages.
00:25:47.59\00:25:50.09
And they will start calling them
00:25:50.12\00:25:51.67
and they will try
to webcam with them.
00:25:51.70\00:25:53.80
I honestly see no reason
for a kid to have a webcam
00:25:53.83\00:25:57.26
unless the computer is
sitting in a central location
00:25:57.29\00:25:59.05
and they are
talking with grandparents
00:25:59.08\00:26:00.31
or friends stuff like that,
00:26:00.34\00:26:01.49
that you know exactly
what they are dealing with.
00:26:01.52\00:26:04.83
And explain for
some that don't even know
00:26:04.86\00:26:06.46
what a webcam is. Okay.
00:26:06.49\00:26:07.84
A webcam is a little camera
00:26:07.87\00:26:09.09
that sits on top of your
monitor that you could sit there
00:26:09.12\00:26:10.91
and see pictures
of the other person.
00:26:10.94\00:26:12.82
And my little girl
webcams with you know,
00:26:12.85\00:26:14.74
the grandparents that
are in Colorado and Idaho.
00:26:14.77\00:26:17.08
You know, she loves
they talk to each other
00:26:17.11\00:26:18.55
and they have fun.
00:26:18.58\00:26:19.88
But you know that's in a very
controlled environment. Yes.
00:26:19.91\00:26:22.59
Whereas if a parent is not there
00:26:22.62\00:26:24.05
you really don't
know what's happening.
00:26:24.08\00:26:26.67
So how frequently
do you believe that
00:26:26.70\00:26:29.75
inappropriate
information is being filtered
00:26:29.78\00:26:31.85
to our children
through the internet
00:26:31.88\00:26:34.04
and chat rooms and
this type of thing?
00:26:34.07\00:26:38.13
It's
everywhere, most of the kids
00:26:38.16\00:26:39.36
who want to go
out and play games
00:26:39.39\00:26:40.60
it's on the gaming
sites. It's on the--
00:26:40.63\00:26:43.18
what they call crack
sites where if they don't--
00:26:43.21\00:26:45.14
they want to go download a game
00:26:45.17\00:26:46.49
for free that
they didn't pay for.
00:26:46.52\00:26:47.73
Then they had to go
download a serial key for it.
00:26:47.76\00:26:50.74
Those sites have been
inappropriate content.
00:26:50.77\00:26:52.80
I mean it's just out
there on all the sites
00:26:52.83\00:26:55.34
that where young people
would normally want to go to.
00:26:55.37\00:26:58.16
So it's just something that a
parent cannot be too cautious.
00:26:58.19\00:27:01.98
I don't think so but
I think at the same time
00:27:02.01\00:27:03.42
you can send them to
the good that's online.
00:27:03.45\00:27:05.84
Well, you know,
we're already out of time
00:27:05.87\00:27:09.44
but I do want to thank
you so much, Ernest Staats,
00:27:09.47\00:27:12.37
for being with us again
today and you will come back.
00:27:12.40\00:27:15.20
Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.
00:27:15.23\00:27:17.16
You know, I-- this
is going way too fast
00:27:17.19\00:27:20.17
but I hope we are going
to have Ernest come back
00:27:20.20\00:27:22.97
and we're gonna be talking
again about internet safety.
00:27:23.00\00:27:26.84
And I hope that this is
being used as a wake up call
00:27:26.87\00:27:29.92
for many of you
because we don't realize
00:27:29.95\00:27:32.34
the danger that's
lurking out there.
00:27:32.37\00:27:34.32
And Paul wrote as I
said to the Corinthians
00:27:34.35\00:27:37.34
and said, "We've got to be
aware of the devil's devices."
00:27:37.37\00:27:41.90
There's nothing inherently
evil about the internet
00:27:41.93\00:27:45.60
but there's a lot of
the evil on the internet.
00:27:45.63\00:27:47.60
So you've got to be careful.
00:27:47.63\00:27:49.50
So right now we pray that
the grace of our Lord Jesus,
00:27:49.53\00:27:53.05
the love of the Father
00:27:53.08\00:27:54.20
and the
fellowship of the Holy Spirit
00:27:54.23\00:27:55.80
will be with you always.
00:27:55.83\00:27:57.20