Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn and welcome again to 00:00:30.64\00:00:32.83 Issues and Answers. You know, I just want to share 00:00:32.87\00:00:36.07 something with you. There's someone out there and you've 00:00:36.11\00:00:38.71 been told that you were a mistake, that you were an 00:00:38.74\00:00:41.48 accident. And did you know you weren't an accident. God knows 00:00:41.52\00:00:45.87 you intimately. He knew you as you were being formed in the 00:00:45.90\00:00:49.48 womb. He knew you. The Bible says that the very number of 00:00:49.52\00:00:53.03 hairs on your head are numbered, that he knows your thoughts from 00:00:53.07\00:00:57.85 afar off and he says that he has inscribed on the palms of his 00:00:57.88\00:01:02.63 hands and that he will never forget you. Today we have a 00:01:02.66\00:01:06.47 fascinating program because we've got some fascinating 00:01:06.50\00:01:10.24 guests who are family and life educators and what we're going 00:01:10.28\00:01:15.24 to be talking about is the importance of our early 00:01:15.27\00:01:19.59 experiences; the experience of the fetus in the womb and the 00:01:19.63\00:01:22.99 first seven years. So let me introduce to you our very 00:01:23.02\00:01:26.28 special guests. Please help me welcome Ron and Nancy Rockey. 00:01:26.32\00:01:30.68 Good to be here. It is so good to have both of 00:01:30.71\00:01:33.54 you here. Now you are the founders for, tell me the name 00:01:33.58\00:01:38.62 of this again. Life Renewal Institute. 00:01:38.65\00:01:41.60 Life Renewal Institute. I had that before we started; for the 00:01:41.64\00:01:45.16 minute it slipped my mind. Let me ask you, we'll start with you 00:01:45.19\00:01:48.68 Nancy, tell me a little bit about your educational 00:01:48.71\00:01:51.43 background so that we can help explain to the people why you're 00:01:51.47\00:01:54.76 in this business that you're in. 00:01:54.79\00:01:56.93 Okay. Well childhood set me up to become a nurse. It also set 00:01:56.97\00:02:03.14 me up to be very interested in the human mind. So even in my 00:02:03.17\00:02:08.87 nursing career, psychiatric nursing was my favorite. Our 00:02:08.91\00:02:14.58 marriage set us up to have many issues. 00:02:14.61\00:02:18.64 That's because she had a lot of problems we had to fix. 00:02:18.68\00:02:24.36 Yeah, one big one. So after about 12 years of a nightmare 00:02:24.39\00:02:29.76 of a marriage Ron decided the marriage is going to end in 00:02:29.79\00:02:34.03 divorce and I won't be able to be a minister anymore so I'll 00:02:34.06\00:02:37.90 go back to school and get another degree and he went back 00:02:37.94\00:02:41.90 for a masters in family therapy figuring. How interesting. 00:02:41.94\00:02:45.30 Well if you can't fix your own maybe you can fix everybody 00:02:45.34\00:02:49.48 else's. So after his first class he came home and literally 00:02:49.52\00:02:54.74 dragged me to the next class. So we were both enrolled and we 00:02:54.77\00:02:59.73 graduated a semester apart because he started before I did. 00:02:59.76\00:03:05.32 So we have a masters in family therapy. And several years later 00:03:05.35\00:03:11.20 we decided we wanted to continue and so we did and then received 00:03:11.24\00:03:17.06 our doctorates in counseling psychology. So we both have 00:03:17.09\00:03:20.39 those two degrees in common, our graduate degrees. 00:03:20.42\00:03:23.30 Okay, but then Ron you also have a degree in religious sciences? 00:03:23.34\00:03:28.77 No I got a bachelor's degree in theology. 00:03:28.80\00:03:32.10 In theology and you pastored for 20 years. 00:03:32.13\00:03:35.40 Twenty years, yeah. 00:03:35.43\00:03:36.80 Now tell us what is Life Renewal Institute? 00:03:36.83\00:03:39.94 Life Renewal Institute is an organization of people who are 00:03:39.98\00:03:45.43 concerned about people. People hurt everywhere, in the church, 00:03:45.46\00:03:50.40 out of the church, it makes no difference. Because Satan has an 00:03:50.43\00:03:56.54 agenda. The agenda is to destroy us. So Life Renewal Institute 00:03:56.57\00:04:02.62 gives people good information about their beginnings and what 00:04:02.66\00:04:08.88 set us up to hurt and to have issues and then we offer the 00:04:08.92\00:04:14.44 tools to recover. And please understand that all recovery 00:04:14.48\00:04:19.64 that sanctification process is through the power of God. 00:04:19.68\00:04:24.77 Not something we do on our own. God is always the power but he 00:04:24.81\00:04:28.65 tells us we have work to do; we must examine. 00:04:28.68\00:04:31.37 He says so, that my people die for lack of knowledge and the 00:04:31.41\00:04:35.01 irony of it is a lot of people have thought that that text 00:04:35.05\00:04:39.00 meant my people die for lack of doctrine, but that's not what 00:04:39.04\00:04:43.40 the word is saying and that's in Hosea 4:6. Hosea 1, 2, 3, 4 00:04:43.43\00:04:47.11 and 5 say they don't know me, there's no love in the land, 00:04:47.14\00:04:50.75 there's adultery going on, there is all kinds of garbage going on 00:04:50.79\00:04:53.44 He's got a whole long list of things that are going wrong 00:04:53.47\00:04:55.80 and they're going wrong because they don't have the right 00:04:55.84\00:04:58.14 knowledge, the right understanding of why they're 00:04:58.17\00:05:00.76 doing what they're doing. 00:05:00.79\00:05:02.16 You know something, the Bible says the heart is deceitful 00:05:02.19\00:05:06.51 above all things. We cannot know our own heart, not like God 00:05:06.55\00:05:11.42 knows it. But if we don't grow up feeling that we have value 00:05:11.45\00:05:16.76 and worth to someone then we have a hard time. If we feel so 00:05:16.79\00:05:22.07 void of this we really have nothing to give. 00:05:22.10\00:05:24.58 That's pretty much where Nancy and I are coming from. We not 00:05:24.62\00:05:27.90 only have the degrees but we also have the major dysfunction 00:05:27.93\00:05:31.18 of our beginnings. Nothing like experience, huh? 00:05:31.21\00:05:35.09 That's one of the things that bothered me an awful lot. 00:05:35.13\00:05:38.48 We would go to a psychologist for help and I was the nut case 00:05:38.52\00:05:43.37 in our relationship. But they would say, I wish I was as 00:05:43.40\00:05:46.32 healthy as you are Ron. Why don't you go home. Bring your 00:05:46.36\00:05:49.02 wife back next time, she's the one who needs some help, 00:05:49.05\00:05:51.68 because I was a phenomenal con man. 00:05:51.71\00:05:53.70 Now you were a pastor at this time? 00:05:53.74\00:05:55.43 And I was a pastor at this time. 00:05:55.47\00:05:57.09 This proves a point though. Not everyone who's a pastor has 00:05:57.13\00:06:01.48 been called to that pastoral position as much as sometimes 00:06:01.51\00:06:05.54 people choose it as a career. But we have to remember that 00:06:05.57\00:06:09.53 no matter whether you're called or it's a career that the person 00:06:09.57\00:06:13.16 that is standing in the pulpit is not perfect. He is also a 00:06:13.19\00:06:16.59 sinner saved by grace that God's working in the sanctification 00:06:16.62\00:06:19.99 process. And God will still use them no 00:06:20.02\00:06:21.79 matter what their beginnings are or how messed up they are. 00:06:21.83\00:06:25.34 God still uses them because it's not the messenger, it's the 00:06:25.37\00:06:28.85 message. Absolutely. Now you had a 00:06:28.88\00:06:31.75 dysfunctional upbringing. Very much so. 00:06:31.79\00:06:34.60 And so that's what your foundation was. 00:06:34.63\00:06:37.37 Absolutely because my mother didn't want any more children, 00:06:37.41\00:06:39.49 my dad didn't want any more children. They were very, very 00:06:39.52\00:06:42.74 poor. So all of a sudden after eight years my mother finds 00:06:42.77\00:06:45.92 herself pregnant with me and she says wait a minute, I can't be 00:06:45.96\00:06:49.55 pregnant because we can't have any more kids. So she went into 00:06:49.58\00:06:53.14 total denial; so much denial that I wasn't born until the 00:06:53.17\00:06:57.57 end of the 10th month of her pregnancy. So what does that say 00:06:57.60\00:07:01.97 about me wanting to come out because it's the child who 00:07:02.00\00:07:05.28 throws out a hormone that creates the activity to create 00:07:05.31\00:07:08.56 the birth. So I'm saying, I don't want to come out. 00:07:08.59\00:07:11.24 It could also be that you were undernourished. 00:07:11.27\00:07:14.44 Oh not undernourished because I came out at 10-1/2 pounds. 00:07:14.48\00:07:19.74 And believe it or not was born up in the attic and that very 00:07:19.77\00:07:25.09 difficult delivery sent his mother to the hospital with 00:07:25.13\00:07:30.38 major complications. So much so that it was predicted she would 00:07:30.42\00:07:35.64 not live. She did live and then daddy took her away 00:07:35.67\00:07:42.88 with him. It was during the war and he was working aboard ship 00:07:42.92\00:07:47.67 putting in heating and air conditioning. And he took mother 00:07:47.70\00:07:52.47 away. So Ron was raised, cared for, and I use the word loosely, 00:07:52.50\00:07:57.24 by his nine-year-old sister. 00:07:57.27\00:08:00.80 About four or five years ago it just hit me. I said, wait a 00:08:00.84\00:08:04.29 minute, who took care of me when you went to school? And I found 00:08:04.33\00:08:07.03 out the rest of the story, that there was a nanny that came in, 00:08:07.06\00:08:09.92 a 16-year-old girl who took care of me while she was in school. 00:08:09.95\00:08:12.78 Then she would leave and my sister would come home. She 00:08:12.81\00:08:15.86 would go to school and the nanny would come in. My mother 00:08:15.90\00:08:18.43 would come home periodically. And the reason for all this 00:08:18.47\00:08:22.13 confusion is that in the first year of life we learn 50% of 00:08:22.16\00:08:25.63 what we need for life with feelings only. And what did I 00:08:25.67\00:08:29.62 learn? Never trust a woman because she's going to leave. 00:08:29.65\00:08:33.53 Not a knowledge but a feeling that something is wrong. So when 00:08:33.57\00:08:38.90 we got married where was my greatest fear feeling-wise? 00:08:38.93\00:08:41.91 Fear that you were going to be abandoned by your wife. 00:08:41.95\00:08:45.10 So I set it up where I put a pay phone in the parsonage, 00:08:45.13\00:08:48.21 to control her outgoing calls, we lived out in the boon docks 00:08:48.25\00:08:52.24 so she couldn't walk anywhere and the car never worked when I 00:08:52.27\00:08:56.23 left the house. So you were just a total control 00:08:56.26\00:08:59.03 control freak, if I may use that word. 00:08:59.06\00:09:00.99 Just a little bit. But now this is what brought you 00:09:01.03\00:09:08.06 into what we're talking about today. I mean, as you came into 00:09:08.10\00:09:13.32 this you all have done a lot of research to find out how 00:09:13.35\00:09:17.44 important, even in the womb... I mean, modern day science and 00:09:17.48\00:09:21.94 you've been quoting me statistics from the National 00:09:21.97\00:09:24.20 Institute of Health, is proving that it is critical, I mean that 00:09:24.24\00:09:29.66 the fetus is actually responding to the mother's feelings, to 00:09:29.69\00:09:34.91 what's going on and with the mother's thought processes even. 00:09:34.95\00:09:40.14 That's surprising me. Well what's so amazing is that 00:09:40.17\00:09:44.54 we now know that at the fourth month of pregnancy the baby 00:09:44.58\00:09:50.55 begins to feel mother's feelings and interprets them as it's 00:09:50.58\00:09:55.96 own. So you have a pregnant woman who doesn't want a child. 00:09:55.99\00:10:01.34 So what does the child say? I'm not wanted. 00:10:01.37\00:10:05.40 We're not saying that the brain is so fully developed that they 00:10:05.44\00:10:10.20 fully understand all this but there is this transference of 00:10:10.24\00:10:14.18 feeling that we can't really explain. It's more not head 00:10:14.21\00:10:17.26 knowledge but heart knowledge. The child is getting heart 00:10:17.30\00:10:20.32 knowledge. It goes to the cells of the body 00:10:20.35\00:10:22.52 is what happens. It is totally amazing and it's the work of 00:10:22.56\00:10:26.67 Dr. Thomas Verny who for his entire career has studied 00:10:26.70\00:10:31.34 prenatal influence. And it only goes along with words of 00:10:31.38\00:10:35.98 inspiration which tell us that during the pregnancy the 00:10:36.02\00:10:39.90 relationship between the husband and the wife is extremely 00:10:39.94\00:10:44.19 impactful to that child and according to Verny's research 00:10:44.23\00:10:49.14 he says it is the greatest impact on a child's physical, 00:10:49.18\00:10:54.02 emotional and spiritual life for the rest of the child's life and 00:10:54.06\00:10:59.71 what's so impactful is the relationship between the birth 00:10:59.74\00:11:04.61 mother and the man who impregnated her during the 00:11:04.64\00:11:08.40 pregnancy. Let me show you in a real-life 00:11:08.43\00:11:10.67 example about how that works. Nancy was pregnant with our 00:11:10.71\00:11:13.63 second child and just before she got pregnant the doctor said she 00:11:13.67\00:11:18.30 had to get pregnant immediately. Otherwise, forget the whole 00:11:18.33\00:11:21.30 thing. It was quite a complication in her body. 00:11:21.33\00:11:26.02 And I said, we don't need another child. We've got one. 00:11:26.06\00:11:31.27 In the doctor's office she said to me, I would rather die 00:11:31.30\00:11:36.44 having our second child than to have our child raised alone like 00:11:36.48\00:11:40.58 I was. Well now you have to understand with my rejection 00:11:40.61\00:11:45.05 issues from the early feelings of my beginnings so in reality 00:11:45.09\00:11:49.80 then my head interpreted she only wanted me to have children. 00:11:49.83\00:11:54.51 See rejected individuals think it's all about them. 00:11:54.54\00:12:01.07 And fear of abandonment and that fear of rejection are just like 00:12:01.11\00:12:06.18 sloop. Kindred spirits and they are overpowering. 00:12:06.21\00:12:08.91 And so what I did was well when she was seven months pregnant 00:12:08.95\00:12:12.42 and she was starting to get sick and there were some questions 00:12:12.46\00:12:15.67 as to what was going on in her body if she was going to die 00:12:15.70\00:12:19.65 or not die from the pregnancy, I said, well since she's got her 00:12:19.68\00:12:23.60 first child, she's got her second child, she doesn't need 00:12:23.63\00:12:27.86 me anymore so since, now watch this, since she's going to 00:12:27.89\00:12:32.09 cut me off, I'll cut her off first. 00:12:32.12\00:12:35.17 Okay so you're putting up that wall of defense. 00:12:35.21\00:12:38.17 So I left her. I got on an airplane, got a passport, visa 00:12:38.21\00:12:44.69 and I left her. Bang! I was gone. 00:12:44.72\00:12:47.44 This was before the baby was born? How messed up is your 00:12:47.48\00:12:50.68 second child then. We're going to talk about that 00:12:50.71\00:12:52.08 in a second. Watch what happens. She is seven months pregnant. 00:12:52.11\00:12:56.10 I'm in Canada and ready to leave and go to Europe. I'm going to 00:12:56.13\00:12:59.35 start my whole life all over again. I had the ability to just 00:12:59.39\00:13:03.16 cut, wall off anything, just disconnect. I called her up and 00:13:03.20\00:13:08.12 said, I said I at least ought to say goodbye. So I called her 00:13:08.16\00:13:11.21 up and said goodbye. She says where 00:13:11.24\00:13:13.06 are you. And I said, I'm in Canada. And she says ohhh you're 00:13:13.10\00:13:17.82 in Canada. Well I'd been gone for 12 hours from the house. 00:13:17.86\00:13:21.90 And she's acting like this! She says, what are you doing in 00:13:21.93\00:13:26.25 Canada. I'm on my way to Europe. Ohhh. When you coming home? 00:13:26.28\00:13:30.20 That blew me so far out of the water that she really wanted me 00:13:30.23\00:13:34.12 home after abandoning her! I said, I'll be home in the 00:13:34.15\00:13:38.06 morning. Now here's the key. Many years later when our 00:13:38.09\00:13:41.82 daughter is in her early 30s we're sitting around with her 00:13:41.85\00:13:45.51 husband, the four of us at 1:30 at night and I said girl I want 00:13:45.55\00:13:49.33 you to be honest with me. You know daddy can take whatever you 00:13:49.36\00:13:54.18 want to throw at him. What is it like every day, what is the 00:13:54.21\00:13:58.70 greatest fear you have in your life? She said every day my 00:13:58.74\00:14:02.94 husband goes out the door. I said what is that? I'm afraid 00:14:02.98\00:14:07.39 he's not going to come home. She has no reason. They guy is 00:14:07.43\00:14:12.14 committed to her. But the feeling from the womb is that 00:14:12.17\00:14:16.85 he's going to leave her. 00:14:16.88\00:14:18.70 I don't want anybody out here to think this is woo woo, but I've 00:14:18.74\00:14:26.62 heard and I've read some scientific studies that talk 00:14:26.65\00:14:29.98 about within our own body that negative thoughts make 00:14:30.01\00:14:33.77 impressions on our cells and I think they said negative 00:14:33.81\00:14:37.54 thoughts make twice the impression of the positive 00:14:37.57\00:14:39.40 thoughts. Basically what you're saying is somehow there is this 00:14:39.44\00:14:43.24 transference and there's actually almost an impression 00:14:43.27\00:14:45.66 that is made... It's a feeling that something is 00:14:45.69\00:14:49.60 wrong here. Actually it's a little more 00:14:49.63\00:14:52.82 detailed. When a pregnant woman is stressed or any person is 00:14:52.86\00:14:59.19 stressed, the adrenal glands put out stress hormones. One of 00:14:59.23\00:15:04.73 those hormones is called cortisol and cortisol in higher 00:15:04.77\00:15:10.20 amounts than normal create in the child in the womb abnormal 00:15:10.24\00:15:17.04 connections between the neurons in the brain so my stress at his 00:15:17.08\00:15:23.01 leaving, he left at 7 o'clock in the morning, my phone call came 00:15:23.05\00:15:28.82 at nearly midnight. So he's gone a long time. In my heart of 00:15:28.85\00:15:34.72 hearts I knew he'd gone. Was there a fight? No. But women 00:15:34.76\00:15:39.87 have a sixth sense, especially sensitive women, and I knew 00:15:39.90\00:15:45.90 and I was pacing the floor with a one year old on my hip, 00:15:45.94\00:15:51.52 weeping, praying and afraid to call anyone because he was a 00:15:51.56\00:15:57.11 senior theology student. 00:15:57.14\00:15:58.51 They never knew that, the kids never knew that until they were 00:15:58.54\00:16:01.36 21 that I left their mother. 00:16:01.39\00:16:02.80 And yet that child got my high level of cortisol so the 00:16:02.84\00:16:11.51 abnormal connection in her brain is men abandon just like the 00:16:11.55\00:16:20.18 message Ron got, women will abandon you. 00:16:20.21\00:16:24.81 So it's like brain mapping. It is, exactly right. 00:16:24.85\00:16:28.60 That's what it is, it's brain mapping. That's very 00:16:28.64\00:16:32.32 interesting. You know there's some people out here who I just 00:16:32.36\00:16:36.37 know you're watching and you think, man I know, my mother's 00:16:36.40\00:16:40.10 told me what it was like when she was pregnant and maybe I can 00:16:40.13\00:16:43.30 even see some of this. But what's the way out? I mean when 00:16:43.34\00:16:47.54 we've got the enemy attacking because when you said that it's 00:16:47.58\00:16:51.75 Satan's agenda. You know I believe the reason he attacks 00:16:51.78\00:16:57.15 families is because his agenda is to ruin the church and the 00:16:57.18\00:17:01.81 family is the nucleus that makes up the church; it's all a bunch 00:17:01.85\00:17:06.45 of families. So he's going to attack the families, try to 00:17:06.48\00:17:11.04 destroy that. You know, children and the procreation which he 00:17:11.08\00:17:15.50 cannot do he's attacking through abortion and everything else. 00:17:15.54\00:17:21.02 So he's trying to bring us down. For someone out there, maybe 00:17:21.06\00:17:25.69 there's a pregnant mother right now who is saying, man I'm in 00:17:25.73\00:17:30.17 stress and you're telling me that I am passing this on to my 00:17:30.21\00:17:34.62 child. I'm marking my child. 00:17:34.65\00:17:37.29 One thing we want to get clear. Nobody goes through this life 00:17:37.33\00:17:40.83 without being marked because we're living in a sin-filled 00:17:40.86\00:17:45.49 world. That's number one. 00:17:45.52\00:17:47.11 And why would Satan leave anyone without bugging them somehow? 00:17:47.15\00:17:51.77 That's number one. And number two and I agree with what Nancy 00:17:51.80\00:17:55.79 has said right there. If some people say I've come from a 00:17:55.83\00:17:59.37 perfect family, we have no problems in our family and I'm 00:17:59.41\00:18:03.72 asking one question, why does Satan leave you alone? That's 00:18:03.75\00:18:08.03 number one. The only way he'll leave you 00:18:08.06\00:18:11.06 alone is if you're in his camp. Then he just pretends to leave 00:18:11.10\00:18:13.87 you alone for a little while. 00:18:13.90\00:18:15.27 Then the third thing is we've got to keep remembering that if 00:18:15.30\00:18:18.87 we're teachable, we're fixable. 00:18:18.91\00:18:20.31 That's one beautiful thing about 00:18:20.34\00:18:21.71 the mind and the body. It is regenerative, it is plastic, it 00:18:21.74\00:18:26.15 can be recreated. That's why Christ said that I've come to 00:18:26.18\00:18:29.91 give you a new heart and a new mind. And the problem is the 00:18:29.94\00:18:33.59 Christian church and psychology is giving new behaviors and it's 00:18:33.63\00:18:36.77 not working. It has to be that total 00:18:36.81\00:18:38.93 transformation. Absolutely. There's a statement 00:18:38.96\00:18:42.77 Time magazine October 21, 1991. You know what that is by heart. 00:18:42.81\00:18:48.98 And it's amazing that it was in a magazine like Time, but the 00:18:49.02\00:18:54.46 statement says I believe there is a devil. And here is Satan's 00:18:54.49\00:18:59.89 agenda. First he doesn't want anyone having kids. 00:18:59.93\00:19:03.26 Why? Because he can't create. 00:19:03.29\00:19:06.29 And if they are not killed through abortion then he wants 00:19:06.33\00:19:11.90 them wounded physically, sexually, emotionally. One way 00:19:11.93\00:19:17.43 or another the legions of hell want to destroy children because 00:19:17.47\00:19:23.46 children become future adults who will pass on their junk to 00:19:23.50\00:19:28.96 another generation. So the sins of the fathers are passed from 00:19:29.00\00:19:34.43 generation to generation. Not because that's God's agenda, 00:19:34.47\00:19:39.87 but because that's the way human beings are created. 00:19:39.91\00:19:43.98 It's in our DNA. What we observe we become. 00:19:44.02\00:19:47.72 And in our first two years of life and those very impactful 00:19:47.76\00:19:52.92 nine months in the womb, what we observe, what we feel, what 00:19:52.95\00:19:58.08 we experience becomes our foundation for our life. 00:19:58.11\00:20:03.21 But we're not stuck there. We're not sentenced to that. We can 00:20:03.24\00:20:07.06 overcome that by God's grace. But doing it through denial is 00:20:07.10\00:20:10.88 not going to do it. You have to face those issues. 00:20:10.92\00:20:18.38 Eighty to 90% of our diseases are emotionally fueled. 00:20:18.41\00:20:25.84 I believe that. As a matter of fact there's a 00:20:25.88\00:20:28.81 quote on that. This is true and you know it's 00:20:28.85\00:20:31.71 so amazing. It comes out from Dr. Hans Eysenck from the 00:20:31.75\00:20:36.35 University of London who studied mind/body connection for years 00:20:36.38\00:20:41.17 and years and has made that statement and the statement is 00:20:41.20\00:20:46.95 that there are several diseases such as cancer, high blood 00:20:46.99\00:20:52.67 pressure, coronary heart disease and diabetes which are strongly 00:20:52.71\00:21:00.08 emotionally fueled. Well and again you're back to 00:21:00.12\00:21:03.52 the adrenalin, the cortisol, all those hormonal releases. 00:21:03.55\00:21:07.18 You know, it's interesting because I'm sitting here and my 00:21:07.22\00:21:10.42 mind's... I've got a thousand questions I want to ask you and 00:21:10.46\00:21:14.73 the time is getting so short. But the things that go on within 00:21:14.77\00:21:19.01 our own body and affect our organs and affect our heart 00:21:19.05\00:21:21.74 and our pulse rate and every thing else and we understand and 00:21:21.78\00:21:25.56 usually we take responsibility for it that we're generating 00:21:25.59\00:21:29.30 those thoughts or we're reacting but perhaps what you're saying, 00:21:29.34\00:21:34.38 if I'm taking this right, some of our self-destructive behavior 00:21:34.42\00:21:39.19 came from brain mapping when we were in the womb and when we 00:21:39.23\00:21:43.97 were small children, something dramatic that happened. 00:21:44.00\00:21:49.13 Or not even dramatic. Do you know science tells us that 00:21:49.17\00:21:54.23 something as simple as a forceps delivery can create feelings of 00:21:54.26\00:22:00.90 rejection and anger in the child 00:22:00.93\00:22:03.93 You know what, I have to tell you my mother said that when my 00:22:03.96\00:22:07.46 daddy first saw me he said bless your little heart, you little 00:22:07.49\00:22:10.74 cone head, your mine and I love you. I was a forceps delivery. 00:22:10.78\00:22:14.46 She said my poor little head was just nearly squished so I ought 00:22:14.49\00:22:18.14 to have a lot of anger but I don't. 00:22:18.18\00:22:19.95 You were a forceps delivery because you were a long time in 00:22:19.99\00:22:23.72 the birth canal. That's how your head got molded, not from 00:22:23.76\00:22:28.57 the forceps and the forceps was designed as a life saving 00:22:28.60\00:22:33.34 measure to get you out of that tight space in the birth canal. 00:22:33.38\00:22:37.21 So sometimes they have to be used. Unfortunately the OB 00:22:37.24\00:22:42.16 nurse in me and, been there, done that, for a long time says 00:22:42.20\00:22:47.08 we use them not judiciously for many years. And for many 00:22:47.11\00:22:51.87 years mothers were given medication that knocked them out 00:22:51.91\00:22:56.60 during those early hours that should have been mother and baby 00:22:56.63\00:23:03.91 bonding. Now we were talking about 00:23:03.95\00:23:06.34 traumatic and not so traumatic. You mentioned something before 00:23:06.37\00:23:10.03 the program that I wanted to be sure that you said because I 00:23:10.07\00:23:14.17 thought this was incredible and that was the NIH report that a 00:23:14.21\00:23:18.27 pregnant mother having a thought about smoking a 00:23:18.31\00:23:21.80 cigarette. Tell us what affect that has on the baby. 00:23:21.84\00:23:25.26 Studies have shown that women who smoke and are pregnant when 00:23:25.29\00:23:30.44 they think about lighting a cigarette, they haven't pulled 00:23:30.47\00:23:34.80 it out of their purse, haven't even taken out the lighter or 00:23:34.83\00:23:39.24 the match, they just think, I think I'll have a cigarette. The 00:23:39.27\00:23:44.93 baby's heart beat accelerates at quite a high percentage just 00:23:44.96\00:23:51.43 at the thought. Why? Because that child knows cigarette means 00:23:51.46\00:23:57.90 I'm not going to get as much oxygen and that's stress. 00:23:57.93\00:24:02.35 See because I've heard the studies before how the fetus 00:24:02.39\00:24:06.74 reacts to the smoking and the heart rate increases, but it is 00:24:06.77\00:24:11.25 amazing to me that the mother's thought is affecting the child 00:24:11.29\00:24:15.32 as if she were actually having the cigarette. That's what's 00:24:15.36\00:24:19.36 amazing. And science has proven beyond 00:24:19.39\00:24:21.17 a shadow of a doubt from the fourth month on that the 00:24:21.21\00:24:23.47 mother's thoughts become the filter for the child's thinking 00:24:23.51\00:24:26.99 from the fourth month of pregnancy on. 00:24:27.02\00:24:31.05 We've only got a couple of minutes here and it just going 00:24:31.08\00:24:34.75 way too fast. But you are going to come back. We're going to 00:24:34.79\00:24:38.80 talk about how this sets us up for the road to self-destruction 00:24:38.83\00:24:42.81 sometimes, some of these self-destructive behaviors. 00:24:42.84\00:24:44.87 But there's a way out. So let's just end this on a very upbeat 00:24:44.91\00:24:52.44 note to let people know they don't have stay like this 00:24:52.47\00:24:55.74 because we have a God who is a God of new beginnings. 00:24:55.77\00:24:58.59 Absolutely. This is true. And you know Satan may have an 00:24:58.63\00:25:01.38 agenda to destroy, but God says I have a plan for you to give 00:25:01.42\00:25:08.30 you a future and to give you hope. 00:25:08.33\00:25:11.07 And that word hope is not wishful thinking. 00:25:11.10\00:25:13.49 It's eager expectation. It is eager expectation. 00:25:13.52\00:25:18.12 I teach that too. The word hope in the Greek is so beautiful. 00:25:18.15\00:25:23.02 When you understand where Nancy and I have come from to have a 00:25:23.06\00:25:28.38 life that is worth living and a heavenly marriage it's another 00:25:28.41\00:25:33.69 world. You know, I too came from an 00:25:33.73\00:25:35.97 incredibly dysfunctional family and just really had a little bit 00:25:36.00\00:25:42.49 of a, I guess you could say I was almost commitment phobic 00:25:42.53\00:25:46.56 because of that. I was engaged eight times before my husband. 00:25:46.59\00:25:50.70 Oh my. I was a little bit of a commitment phobic, but once I 00:25:50.73\00:25:54.80 made that commitment to him and our marriage and our 00:25:54.84\00:25:58.86 relationship began to blossom, you know I've had such a 00:25:58.90\00:26:02.88 wonderful life and I'm so blessed and the Lord absolutely 00:26:02.92\00:26:06.69 cut me free from anything that was trying to bind me, any of 00:26:06.72\00:26:10.46 those thoughts. He has come that our joy may be 00:26:10.49\00:26:13.81 overflowing. And I'm saying to myself, if that's the case why 00:26:13.85\00:26:18.42 is joy so limited in so many Christians' lives yet anyone 00:26:18.45\00:26:22.30 else's. It's because we're not living his life, we're living 00:26:22.34\00:26:26.16 ours. Our time is all gone so I'm just 00:26:26.19\00:26:31.04 going to say thank you for being here, Nancy, can't wait for you 00:26:31.07\00:26:34.72 come back and Ron. Thank you so much. You're both fascinating 00:26:34.76\00:26:38.37 people, full of knowledge. But I just want to share with 00:26:38.41\00:26:40.82 you when we were talking about why don't we have the joy, you 00:26:40.86\00:26:44.75 know what I think it is. I think it's because we don't 00:26:44.78\00:26:48.69 feel lovable, we don't feel worthy, we don't feel valuable 00:26:48.72\00:26:52.92 and if you could just find out, if you had even an inkling of 00:26:52.96\00:26:57.12 how much God loves you. He says I have loved you with an 00:26:57.15\00:27:00.87 everlasting love and therefore with loving kindness I am 00:27:00.90\00:27:04.61 drawing you. And as Nancy quoted from Jeremiah 29 and 00:27:04.64\00:27:08.28 verses 11 and 12, He said I've got a plan for your life. I add 00:27:08.31\00:27:12.55 this, it's better than the one you're living. My plan is to 00:27:12.59\00:27:16.83 prosper you, to give you a hope. Eager expectation and a future. 00:27:16.86\00:27:21.54 So I want to encourage you that God does have a plan for your 00:27:21.57\00:27:26.16 life and if you could come and get to know who he is and who 00:27:26.20\00:27:30.96 you become in him, it's life changing. There's transforming 00:27:31.00\00:27:35.31 power in his love, there's transforming power of the Holy 00:27:35.34\00:27:39.50 Spirit and of his Word. So please join us next time because 00:27:39.54\00:27:42.87 we're going to be talking about some of these self-destructive 00:27:42.91\00:27:46.21 behaviors and God's way out because he is the God of new 00:27:46.24\00:27:49.97 beginnings. May the grace of our Lord Jesus 00:27:50.01\00:27:52.89 Christ, the love of the Father and the fellowship of the Holy 00:27:52.93\00:27:55.46 Spirit be with you always. 00:27:55.49\00:28:01.85