Hello I'm Shelley
Quinn and welcome again to
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Issues and Answers. We
want to thank you for joining
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us no matter where you are
tuning in from around the world.
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Today we're going to be talking
about an issue that I believe is
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very important for us to have
a healthy understanding of and
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that is self-esteem. What should
our attitude as Christians be
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about self-esteem. You know the
Bible tells us in Philippians
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chapter 2, I'll begin with verse
4. Paul wrote to the Philippians
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and he said, Let each of you
esteem the other and look to not
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only his own interests but also
the interest of others. And then
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he says, Let this same mind be
in you which was also in Christ
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Jesus. Christ is our example.
So help me to welcome back
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Jennifer Schwirzer. Jennifer is
a Christian counselor, she's a
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song writer, she's just many
things, but she's really a very
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precious Christian woman and you
have your masters in psychology
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Mental Health Counseling.
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Mental health
counseling and you are now...
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Practicing as a counselor/
psychotherapist or a Christian
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counselor.
Wonderful. Now we're so glad
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that you're coming back to
us today and we're going to be
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talking about this very
important issues of self-esteem.
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So let me just put it to
you this way. Should a Christian
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look up to themselves, look down
to themselves, how should we do
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this? Or look
away from themselves is
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a third option. There you go.
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Well I wanted to start out today
with just looking at the whole
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self-esteem issue within the
field of psychology and I want
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to look at some scientific
evidence as to whether
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self-esteem really does benefit
people or not. Because about
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20 years ago the whole notion of
self-esteem kind of got started
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back in the 80s and began what
we might call the self-esteem
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movement. There was a group of
people out in California called
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the California Task Force on
Self-Esteem that put together
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a huge research project,
thousands and thousands of
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research dollars and effort
and time went into this and they
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researched the issue of self-
esteem with the premise that if
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they could just raise the
collective self-esteem of people
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in California and specifically
this was directed at youth who
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had these terrible
self- destructive behaviors of
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substance abuse and promiscuity.
If they could just raise their
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collective self-esteem
that these social ills would be
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largely solved. That was their
premise. They went in with these
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thousands of dollars and this
huge research project and did
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this elaborate study and then
published a paper out of that
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that yea thick and filled with
all this esoteric psychobabble
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and, not to be disrespectful,
but anyway you couldn't
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understand it unless you know
some of the terms and really it
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didn't say a whole lot
conclusively about self-esteem.
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So they're really still
operating out of a premise that
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self-esteem is good for people.
But subsequent research has
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shown a very mixed message on
whether self-esteem is actually
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beneficial to people or whether
in some cases it's a deterrent
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to healthy behavior and so I
want to go through some of those
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evidences. Okay. Self-esteem,
according to research does not
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correlate with popularity.
In other words, just because you
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like yourself doesn't mean that
other people are going to like
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you. In fact, you can like
yourself a whole lot and other
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people cannot like you.
It doesn't make or break your
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ability to be popular.
So sometime people who like
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themselves a whole lot are maybe
less popular because they're
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prideful. Yeah,
exactly. It can go a bunch
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of different ways. Self-esteem
is correlated with the ability
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to initiate new social contacts.
So if you feel good about
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yourself you're going to be more
outgoing, more self-confident
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and friendly in a social
situation. It is not correlated
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with better work or academic
performance. That means that
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people with high self-esteem
don't necessarily excel
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academically. They don't
necessarily produce more at
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work. It's kind of a mixed bag
there. And that was one of the
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premises they went in with
was that kids will do better in
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school if they believe
in themselves. It doesn't
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necessarily work that way.
It is not correlated with better
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relationships. In fact, people
with high self-esteem are more
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likely to cut off a relationship
when there's conflict then
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someone without high self-
esteem and generally speaking,
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people in my field recognize
that emotional cutoff is not a
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good thing. Okay
delve into that just a
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little bit more. So what you're
saying is that if somebody has
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really high self-esteem are
you saying that they basically
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with conflict they just figure
they're right and the other is
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wrong. So is that what
causes the divisiveness in the
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relationship. Well it
can. It's really kind of
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a neutral thing, but the
research has shown that if
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someone has high self-esteem
they're more likely to cut off a
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relationship when there's
conflict. Now that can be a good
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thing. Some people with very,
very low self-esteem might stay
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in a relationship way past the
point. But it can also be out of
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arrogance. I'm not going to
deal with this person anymore
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because they don't
you know... Uncompromising
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Yeah. So regardless of whether
it's a good thing or a bad thing
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people with high self-esteem
tend to break off relationships
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when there's conflict more
readily than people without high
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self-esteem. So you know this is
is all scientific research. They
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do all this research and then
they have very little in the way
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of conclusions. That's why I
love the Bible because I think
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that eventually if we used the
scientific method and researched
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every aspect of human life,
we would eventually come to the
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same conclusions that the Bible
spells out for us. However, you
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get to them faster if
you just believe the Bible.
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As you're going through all this
I'm just sitting here thinking
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how simple the Bible puts
it. As a man thinks in his heart
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so is he. So there's something
important about having a
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healthy regard for one's self.
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And we'll get to that but I want
to just look at it through the
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eyes of a scientist for a moment
here. High self-esteem is not
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correlated with less promiscuity
in young people and this is
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another premise that the
California task force was
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operating out of. If we can just
get young people to believe in
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themselves and think well
of themselves they won't be so
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self-destructive and ready to
engage in illicit sexual acts.
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But it didn't work that way.
But bad sexual experiences and
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unwanted pregnancy appear
to lower self-esteem so there's
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and affect relationship,
not necessarily a causal one.
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There's mixed evidence of
correlations between self-esteem
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and drug and alcohol abuse, so
you can't necessarily say that
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high self-esteem keeps a
kid from abusing substances.
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It doesn't necessarily work that
way but sometimes it appears to.
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And again, this is science so
it's very difficult to come to
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very many conclusions because
it's science and not the word of
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God. But science does, if
it's done right, manifest the
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principles of the word.
This is really interesting. High
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self-esteem has been correlated
with aggressive behavior.
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In fact perpetrators
generally hold a very high
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opinion of themselves.
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Now it used to be that
when counseling was done for
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perpetrators of, for instance,
domestic violence, they would
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build up the ego of the
perpetrator thinking that the
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insecurity of that individual
was causing him to compensate
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through aggressive behavior
but what they found is that it
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didn't work, that the more
they built up the ego the more
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arrogant and domineering the
individual became. So some new
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theories are being developed,
new methods of dealing with
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domestic violence where they
actually challenge and confront
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the perpetrator rather than
build them up. So that's very
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fascinating to
me. That's incredible.
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Just a couple more points.
People with high self-esteem are
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happier, less often depressed
and poor self-image is a risk
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factor for eating disorders.
So I don't think we can say
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self-esteem is a bad thing.
I don't think we can say it's a
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panacea of all life's ills.
I think we have to take a very
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balanced and a
moderate approach to it.
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You know, maybe we should
have started off by defining...
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What is your
definition of self-esteem?
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Okay, that's a good question.
A lot of this gets into
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semantics, Shelley, but I like
to distinguish self-esteem from
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self-worth. To me the Bible
comes out pretty plainly that we
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should esteem other better than
ourselves. To me self-esteem
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sounds almost like pride. But
maybe not. You know, if people
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use the word self-esteem
to refer to valuing one's self
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that's okay with me. So I'm not
a semantical Nazi. But it's just
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basically thinking
well of yourself, I think.
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I have to share. Someone called
oh I guess last week and Molly
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took the call and this woman
said, That Shelley Quinn is so
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sure of herself. And she was
quite upset with me. And Molly
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told her actually no, she's just
as insecure as any of the rest
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of us but she said she does know
who she is in Christ. And for me
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you know we are to esteem others
more than we esteem self as
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Christ did. But we need to
know... There's an identity
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crisis is how I kind of have
labeled this within the church
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that people don't know who they
are in Christ and it affects
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self-esteem in a negative way.
There are Christians who are
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beating themselves up all the
time not knowing that God's plan
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is to allow them to be totally
dependent upon him and that they
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yield and cooperate with him
and he does a work within them.
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Maybe it is semantics because
self-esteem, self-worth are
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closely related. They
are very related. Self
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respect is another way
of saying the same thing.
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But would you agree then for
the Christian, I mean if we put
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aside secular ideas, for
the Christian we should have a
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certain security in Christ. That
security and assurance in Christ
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but to me I think that a healthy
self-esteem is one that regards
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yourself as God regards you.
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That's right, that's right.
Well you know you're taking away
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my sermon here but
that's okay. That's all right.
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And that's good because
we're both coming to the same
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conclusion a little bit
different way but that's awesome
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I look at it this way. There's
a spectrum and on one end of the
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spectrum you have the extreme
of low self-esteem. People that
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have low self-esteem typically
feel like I'm worse than other
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people. Then on the other
extreme you have people with
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high self-esteem that think that
they're better than other people
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I don't think God wants us
to think that we're worse than
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other people. I don't think
he wants us to think that we're
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better than other people.
In fact, the word says that
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comparing yourself amongst
yourselves is not wise and we
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know that disciples were
always caviling over who was the
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greatest. This is not what God
wants us to do, but if we can
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get out of that competitive mode
into a vertical relationship to
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Jesus and recognize who we are
in him then we establish like
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you said a self-worth, a
self- esteem, a security in him.
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You know when you said that,
my mother, I just praise the
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Lord that she brought me up
all my life to say if you'd see
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someone drunk in a ditch, she'd
say don't think for any second
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that you're any better than that
person. But for the grace of God
00:12:07.12\00:12:10.39
something like this could happen
in your life. But at the same
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time she would say no matter who
it was, if the president were to
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invite you to the White House,
don't think for any second that
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that person is better than you.
So the idea is in learning...
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I mean, when you've got someone
coming to you who has low
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self-esteem, I see a lot of
issues with low self-esteem,
00:12:29.59\00:12:33.49
depression and people who think
that everyone's better than them
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there's no assertiveness, they
don't understand how to stand
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up for themselves, they don't
understand how to esteem others
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really. Would
you agree with that?
00:12:48.47\00:12:51.42
If you have that foundation of
self-worth within yourself then
00:12:51.46\00:12:55.32
you have a position from which
you can esteem others. You know
00:12:55.36\00:12:59.52
you can't do that if you're
just dealing with a gaping wound
00:12:59.56\00:13:03.69
within yourself feeling
bad about yourself because when
00:13:03.72\00:13:07.04
you feel bad about yourself your
self-focused and so you have no
00:13:07.08\00:13:11.15
vantage point from which to
give to others. So what I do,
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and I get a lot of clients that
have self-esteem issues that
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just are really down in the
dumps. What I try to do is show
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them from the scriptures that
there is a case to be made for
00:13:21.46\00:13:24.70
self-care. Not self-esteem
necessarily. It's hard for
00:13:24.73\00:13:29.33
people that feel that down to
look at themselves in the mirror
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and say you're great. It just
doesn't come to them. But you
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can show them from the
scriptures that God has called
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them to take care of themselves.
And we can see that in the
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physical realm and you know
the scriptures better than I do.
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We're to present our bodies
a living sacrifice. Our body is
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the temple of the Holy Ghost.
We're told that God wants us to
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prosper in all things and be in
health even as our soul prospers
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And here's where I go with
people that have low self-esteem
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I say you can see from the
scriptures that God wants you to
00:14:04.49\00:14:07.22
take care of your body. And they
say yes and they can see the
00:14:07.26\00:14:10.40
logic in that. Then I say,
Do you think that God would like
00:14:10.44\00:14:13.30
you to take care of your
emotional life as well and your
00:14:13.33\00:14:16.13
relational life. And that's a
little harder for them to see.
00:14:16.17\00:14:19.83
So what I say is, Well if you
starved your child you did not
00:14:19.87\00:14:23.43
give food to your child who
would you hold responsible for
00:14:23.47\00:14:27.45
your child going hungry. And
they say, well me. And I'd say
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well why? Shouldn't God feed
them? And they'd say well no
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because I'm the one that
God put in that position of
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responsibility to feed them.
And I say, You're an adult and
00:14:37.09\00:14:40.56
God has put you in the position
of responsibility to care for
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your own emotional health and so
even God isn't going to do that
00:14:44.39\00:14:48.12
for you if he put you in
that position of responsibility.
00:14:48.15\00:14:51.55
So I make a case for them for
taking care of themselves, not
00:14:51.58\00:14:54.95
because they're great, not
because they're better than
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others, not because of any
talent or ability or asset that
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they have but because of
God and because God has placed
00:15:01.11\00:15:04.19
value upon them. And when he
places value upon them that's a
00:15:04.23\00:15:08.09
call to self-care.
Does that make sense?
00:15:08.12\00:15:10.85
Absolutely perfect sense. I've
got somebody in mind right now.
00:15:10.89\00:15:17.82
Incredibly talented, very gifted
and grew up in a very abusive
00:15:17.86\00:15:23.12
background and this person with
all of these gifts and talents..
00:15:23.15\00:15:28.38
Sometimes we look upon
something that's humility but
00:15:28.41\00:15:32.39
it's not really humility. It's
having such low self-worth that
00:15:32.43\00:15:36.41
they don't feel like the
Lord should even bless them.
00:15:36.44\00:15:39.91
How would you
handle somebody like that?
00:15:39.94\00:15:41.79
Oh, oh, I do it all the time.
I try to build them up, I try to
00:15:41.83\00:15:45.26
encourage them but I find that
just telling them they're pretty
00:15:45.29\00:15:48.69
or they're smart or they're
talented doesn't work. I have
00:15:48.72\00:15:52.53
to establish with that person
the value that God placed on
00:15:52.57\00:15:55.39
them and here's how I
conceptualize it and this really
00:15:55.43\00:15:58.51
works for me because I like
visuals. You know, the cross
00:15:58.54\00:16:02.08
had a vertical beam and a
horizontal beam. The vertical
00:16:02.12\00:16:05.80
beam to me represents our
vertical relationship with God.
00:16:05.83\00:16:09.44
That vertical relationship pulls
us up out of the ditches of low
00:16:09.48\00:16:13.91
self-esteem and pride and puts
us on the middle road. We know
00:16:13.94\00:16:17.80
that because of the price that
was paid for us, Jesus pouring
00:16:17.83\00:16:21.61
out his blood at infinite cost
to himself, giving it as a free
00:16:21.65\00:16:25.40
gift to us, we know that
because of that he has placed an
00:16:25.43\00:16:28.59
extraordinary value upon us and
because of that value that is
00:16:28.62\00:16:31.77
placed upon us, we are valuable
in his sight. That puts us on
00:16:31.80\00:16:34.91
the road. But there's also a
horizontal beam on the cross.
00:16:34.95\00:16:38.75
And that in my mind keeps us
balanced on the road to service
00:16:38.79\00:16:42.07
because we're reaching out
to others and one of the things
00:16:42.10\00:16:45.72
I've encountered in therapy is
sports addiction. I had a young
00:16:45.75\00:16:49.34
client that was in this
environment of competitive
00:16:49.37\00:16:52.64
sports and he would fall apart
when he lost or when he was
00:16:52.68\00:16:55.87
judged; he felt he was judged
unfairly. What I promote in
00:16:55.91\00:16:59.03
situations like that is service.
I think service is the cure for
00:16:59.07\00:17:03.16
low self-esteem and I've
actually found research that
00:17:03.19\00:17:06.63
shows that there's better
identity formation in young
00:17:06.66\00:17:10.03
people when they engage in
some form of volunteer service.
00:17:10.07\00:17:13.16
Amen. You know I can remember
my sister even for depression
00:17:13.19\00:17:16.25
which a lot of times is
low self-esteem that leads to
00:17:16.28\00:17:19.46
depression or vice versa; it's
a vicious cycle. And I remember
00:17:19.50\00:17:23.22
when my sister a number of years
ago called me and she was lower
00:17:23.26\00:17:27.32
than a snake's belly and I told
her, go volunteer, go down to
00:17:27.35\00:17:31.38
Salvation Army or somewhere.
Go do some volunteer work
00:17:31.41\00:17:34.31
because as long as you got your
eyes on self so much... I think
00:17:34.35\00:17:39.24
it seems like service to me
when you get involved in serving
00:17:39.28\00:17:44.41
others. There's something that
takes the focus away from you,
00:17:44.44\00:17:49.86
it lifts the spirits and you
feel that you are of worth to
00:17:49.89\00:17:54.01
someone else when you can
give to someone else. It is more
00:17:54.04\00:17:58.13
blessed to give than to receive.
00:17:58.16\00:17:59.99
Oh it is more blessed
and right-doing is a powerful
00:18:00.03\00:18:03.69
medicine for the soul and a
powerful healer for the emotions
00:18:03.73\00:18:08.33
but in the moment that you're
in those dumps and you feel so
00:18:08.36\00:18:11.64
badly about yourself the
thought of doing something like
00:18:11.67\00:18:14.88
that is totally unnatural. This
is part of the Christian walk is
00:18:14.92\00:18:18.99
sometimes doing things that
go directly against the grain of
00:18:19.02\00:18:22.47
the way we feel. We cannot live
by our emotions. Our emotions
00:18:22.51\00:18:27.81
are very hostile and vicious and
cruel task master if we let them
00:18:27.84\00:18:31.76
control our lives. So there's
going to be a time... Jesus said
00:18:31.79\00:18:35.18
If your eye offends you pluck
it out. If your hand offends you
00:18:35.22\00:18:38.26
cut it off. There are going
to be times that we have to go
00:18:38.30\00:18:41.01
directly against the grain
or our emotions and do something
00:18:41.05\00:18:44.11
on principle. But what we find
is that when we act on principle
00:18:44.15\00:18:47.18
then the emotions begin
to follow and we start to
00:18:47.21\00:18:50.48
experience relief of
that emotional negativity.
00:18:50.51\00:18:53.71
In the case of my sister, here
I am counseling with her on a
00:18:53.75\00:18:57.12
daily basis for a couple of
weeks; go do this, get your eyes
00:18:57.16\00:19:00.50
off yourself. When she
finally did, Jennifer, it was an
00:19:00.53\00:19:03.72
immediate turnaround. I mean she
just came home filled with like
00:19:03.76\00:19:07.46
awe. You know I'm so blessed
and I didn't realize how many
00:19:07.49\00:19:10.83
blessings I had, etc. Now
something that J.D. uses and let
00:19:10.87\00:19:13.95
me ask you because we discussed
on a previous program that my
00:19:13.98\00:19:17.13
husband, J.D. Quinn, who
also has a masters in psychology
00:19:17.17\00:19:20.24
is... When we first married some
of the psychology training that
00:19:20.28\00:19:25.15
he had, I'd sit there and say,
That's not scriptural, that's
00:19:25.18\00:19:30.02
not scriptural. This is a
good principle but it's a Bible
00:19:30.05\00:19:34.20
principle you've only got half
of the truth and I'd show him
00:19:34.24\00:19:37.49
in the word. Now what he does
when he's working with people
00:19:37.52\00:19:41.96
is he gives them scripture
promises and he teaches them
00:19:41.99\00:19:46.36
how to pray those promises over
themselves, how to claim them
00:19:46.40\00:19:50.41
and confess them over their
life and he'll give them little
00:19:50.44\00:19:54.12
assignments every time he talks
with them; a certain number of
00:19:54.16\00:19:58.32
promises that they put on a 3x5
card and it's so amazing that as
00:19:58.35\00:20:01.99
people confess these over their
life and pray them back to the
00:20:02.03\00:20:05.36
Lord how much power there is in
the word of God. Have you ever
00:20:05.39\00:20:09.27
tried doing that. I have and
a lot of my clients know more of
00:20:09.31\00:20:12.98
the Bible than I do. So what's
happening with some of them...
00:20:13.02\00:20:15.95
I don't want to discredit
what you just said because it's
00:20:15.99\00:20:19.09
absolutely true and you
know you can give those like Rx,
00:20:19.13\00:20:23.03
prescription promise and I
even have a little book that has
00:20:23.07\00:20:26.94
promises that are topically
organized that I use in
00:20:26.98\00:20:30.67
counseling, very powerful stuff.
But what I find with some people
00:20:30.70\00:20:33.71
is that they know the word,
they know the promises but they
00:20:33.75\00:20:38.76
haven't been able
to internalize them.
00:20:38.79\00:20:40.57
They're up here but
they're not in their hearts.
00:20:40.60\00:20:42.79
That's right and so that's where
counseling comes in because
00:20:42.82\00:20:46.51
what I say to them, You know
your heart is like a garden and
00:20:46.55\00:20:50.19
if the ground is hard the seed
isn't going to get in. So what
00:20:50.22\00:20:53.27
we need to do is we need to go
in and we need to break up the
00:20:53.31\00:20:56.32
fallow ground of your thinking
so that the soil becomes
00:20:56.36\00:20:59.71
receptive to the word of God and
so a lot of counseling is kind
00:20:59.74\00:21:04.48
of almost a really
intense process sometimes.
00:21:04.51\00:21:07.44
It's difficult for people.
00:21:07.47\00:21:08.93
Have you ever been in a time
in your life when you weren't
00:21:08.97\00:21:12.83
taking care of yourself the way
you should, where you were doing
00:21:12.86\00:21:15.58
something... Like there are
times that I've gone through
00:21:15.61\00:21:18.75
like we discussed before
that I've had an overwhelming
00:21:18.79\00:21:21.57
schedule particularly over
the last three years basically
00:21:21.61\00:21:24.32
working two full time jobs and
I find that sometimes I can let
00:21:24.36\00:21:28.81
dietary habits slip and I start
doing something that, you know,
00:21:28.84\00:21:32.86
eating Fritos and stuff that I
know is not really good for me.
00:21:32.90\00:21:37.16
Have you ever gone through a
period of time in your life when
00:21:37.19\00:21:41.42
your self-care was not good?
00:21:41.45\00:21:43.12
Absolutely and what I find is
that when we are not caring for
00:21:43.16\00:21:47.12
ourselves and rewarding
ourselves in an appropriate
00:21:47.15\00:21:50.99
God-given way, like I said,
he put us in charge of ourselves
00:21:51.02\00:21:54.74
If we're not caring, and that
includes rewarding, you know,
00:21:54.77\00:21:57.81
for delayed gratification. Well
you get to do this if you do
00:21:57.84\00:22:01.11
this and just sort of managing
ourselves well, giving ourselves
00:22:01.14\00:22:05.17
time off, taking a vacation when
we need it, eating healthy food,
00:22:05.21\00:22:08.88
taking time to prepare healthy
food, doing some recreational
00:22:08.91\00:22:12.54
things with people we
love, meeting new people, social
00:22:12.58\00:22:16.12
engagements. If we're not doing
those things proactively what I
00:22:16.15\00:22:19.12
find is that that deprivation
scenario will create a
00:22:19.15\00:22:23.44
vulnerability within me toward
destructive behaviors, toward
00:22:23.47\00:22:26.97
like you said the Fritos and
the things that you know you're
00:22:27.00\00:22:30.53
not supposed to eat. You'll
be more prone to those things.
00:22:30.56\00:22:34.17
So we really don't live with
deprivation very well. Human
00:22:34.21\00:22:37.53
beings, they find another
way to indulge themselves. So we
00:22:37.56\00:22:40.85
need to "indulge"
ourselves in a God-given way.
00:22:40.88\00:22:45.79
So basically what we're saying
today then is self-esteem...
00:22:45.83\00:22:50.62
When I started off say should
we look up to ourselves thinking
00:22:50.65\00:22:54.66
that we're important, should we
look down on ourselves thinking
00:22:54.69\00:22:57.92
...see some people think that's
humility is to look down on
00:22:57.95\00:23:01.14
self. That's not humility.
Humility is, in my opinion
00:23:01.17\00:23:04.83
anyway, is understanding that
it all comes from outside of us,
00:23:04.87\00:23:09.68
that it's God and that we accept
who God says we are to me is
00:23:09.71\00:23:15.06
a humble thing, right. I use
1 John 2:27. Like the Bible says
00:23:15.09\00:23:19.38
that we have an anointing.
Well if you sit here and say,
00:23:19.41\00:23:23.63
Oh no I don't have an anointing
That may sound humble but it's
00:23:23.67\00:23:26.73
not because you're exalting your
own opinion over what the word
00:23:26.77\00:23:29.80
of God says. That's right.
That's right. So the humble
00:23:29.84\00:23:32.49
thing is to look at it and say,
Yes, in Christ Jesus I do have
00:23:32.53\00:23:36.08
and anointing. The Bible says
it, I'm going to accept it by
00:23:36.12\00:23:41.83
faith. But what we've got to
look at is self-esteem is seeing
00:23:41.87\00:23:46.41
our self, I mean healthy self-
esteem, is seeing our self as
00:23:46.44\00:23:50.94
God sees us. Would say
that's pretty accurate?
00:23:50.98\00:23:53.38
In the light of the
cross. Allowing that vertical
00:23:53.42\00:23:55.76
relationship with God and
recognizing the price that he
00:23:55.79\00:23:59.63
paid to pull up out of
either ditch of pride or
00:23:59.67\00:24:02.45
self-deprecation and the
horizontal beam of engaging in
00:24:02.48\00:24:06.91
service to our fellow man to
sort of self-authenticate those
00:24:06.95\00:24:11.34
principles that we've
embraced in the gospel.
00:24:11.38\00:24:13.51
And I like that you said that
those are both ditches. Pride is
00:24:13.55\00:24:17.46
a ditch and actually that's
a spirit of... it's a satanic
00:24:17.49\00:24:23.72
thing is pride.
That's where it comes from.
00:24:23.75\00:24:25.88
That was Lucifer's problem.
00:24:25.91\00:24:27.28
But then on the other hand that
self-deprecation where we think
00:24:27.31\00:24:30.74
that we're just... There's
probably someone watching right
00:24:30.77\00:24:37.12
now who is being beaten by their
husband and their self-esteem is
00:24:37.16\00:24:42.79
so low that they have absolutely
come to believe that they
00:24:42.83\00:24:46.22
deserve it or that
they're doing something wrong.
00:24:46.26\00:24:48.74
I love what you said about not
arguing with the word of God.
00:24:48.78\00:24:51.25
The word of God has called us to
security in Christ and to great
00:24:51.51\00:24:55.23
things, to excellence in him.
Christ within, the hope of glory
00:24:55.27\00:24:59.06
Don't allow your life to be
wasted in a situation where you
00:24:59.10\00:25:03.45
are being ground to powder. If
it's God's time and in God's way
00:25:03.48\00:25:07.80
extricate yourself from
situations that are snuffing out
00:25:07.83\00:25:11.67
your self-worth. Isn't that kind
of what you were driving at?
00:25:11.70\00:25:14.80
That's exactly what I'm driving
at. That's it. We've only got
00:25:14.83\00:25:17.89
about a minute. Do you
have a closing thought?
00:25:17.92\00:25:20.20
Oh a closing thought. I just
want people to know who they
00:25:20.24\00:25:24.95
are in Jesus and to just really
really like wrap your mind
00:25:24.99\00:25:29.25
around the promises of God.
Someone actually loves you and
00:25:29.28\00:25:33.83
as often as we say that,
some things bear repeating. Some
00:25:33.87\00:25:38.35
things we just need to say over
and over. You might not be great
00:25:38.38\00:25:41.88
but you are loved.
00:25:41.92\00:25:43.29
You know, I think you know my
book Exalting His Word and The
00:25:43.32\00:25:47.74
Life Affirmations From Scripture
I have a very interesting
00:25:47.78\00:25:51.94
experience and have had over a
number of years that as long as
00:25:51.98\00:25:56.46
I'm in the word confessing the
word of God over my life, God
00:25:56.49\00:26:00.94
keeps me from... he draws
me closer to him; I feel more
00:26:00.97\00:26:05.97
closely related to him is how
I should say it. If I allow my
00:26:06.01\00:26:09.80
schedule to overshadow that
practice and I don't do it for
00:26:09.83\00:26:13.58
awhile, I can just
feel myself going fuup.
00:26:13.62\00:26:16.60
The foundation of you whole
psyche just goes through the
00:26:16.63\00:26:19.16
floor. Yeah! It's so amazing.
00:26:19.20\00:26:20.57
So knowing who you are in
Christ... I mean it's not that
00:26:20.60\00:26:25.97
those scriptures have
left my mind, but if I'm not
00:26:26.00\00:26:30.86
internalizing them then I can
go right back into all of those
00:26:30.90\00:26:35.49
little dysfunctional thoughts
and ideas that had to do with
00:26:35.53\00:26:40.09
my upbringing. We
live moment by moment.
00:26:40.12\00:26:42.42
Isn't that the
truth. By the grace of God.
00:26:42.45\00:26:44.68
Isn't that the truth. You know
God said, forget the past, don't
00:26:44.71\00:26:48.60
dwell on the past for I am doing
a new thing in you and suddenly
00:26:48.64\00:26:52.49
it will spring forward.
Jennifer, our time went too fast
00:26:52.52\00:26:56.01
Let me ask you this. You
will come back won't you?
00:26:56.05\00:26:58.02
Okay. And we want
to thank you so much
00:26:58.06\00:27:01.10
for being with us today.
00:27:01.13\00:27:02.50
It was great to be
here. I really enjoyed it.
00:27:02.53\00:27:04.04
Well we appreciate so much the
work that you're doing and the
00:27:04.07\00:27:07.25
many talents that God has given
you that you are using them for
00:27:07.29\00:27:10.44
his glory. You
know for those of you at
00:27:10.47\00:27:12.70
home, if you have a child that
is suffering, that does not know
00:27:12.73\00:27:17.42
who they are, I want to
encourage you, maybe it's you
00:27:17.45\00:27:20.54
instead of your child. I want
to encourage you to get into the
00:27:20.57\00:27:24.59
Bible. Find out who you are in
Christ. Even consider, if this
00:27:24.62\00:27:28.61
is a major problem, consider
going to see a Christian
00:27:28.64\00:27:31.97
counselor that can talk you
through some of these things
00:27:32.01\00:27:35.27
and help you to recognize that
God's got a plan for your life
00:27:35.31\00:27:39.27
and it's better than the one
that you're living right now.
00:27:39.30\00:27:42.91
Now may the grace of our Lord
Jesus, the love of the Father
00:27:42.95\00:27:47.11
and the fellowship of the Holy
Spirit be with you today and
00:27:47.14\00:27:51.13
every day for the rest of
your life. Thank you so much for
00:27:51.16\00:27:55.12
joining us.
00:27:55.15\00:28:01.48