Participants: J.D. Quinn (Host), Dr. Howard Weems
Series Code: IAA
Program Code: IAA000310
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00:30 Welcome to 'Issues and Answers.' My name is J.D. Quinn.
00:34 We are going to have a wonderful program today, 00:35 because our topic is something 00:37 that I am really have always been interested, 00:40 but I haven't found anybody really talk about 00:42 and that is families in the last days. 00:44 And my guest today is Dr. Howard Weems Jr. Thank you. 00:49 And I would like first of all for the people here 00:53 that are listening to us 00:55 to know something about you. Who are you? 00:58 Well, my journey starts in Georgia. 01:00 Atlanta, Georgia. Okay. 01:02 I was born in a family with seven siblings. 01:07 Okay, I am the only son right in the middle. 01:11 And I grew up Pentecostal, you know, when I was a teenager, 01:16 a literature evangelist came along, selling books. 01:19 And he introduced me to God, he gave me Bible studies 01:24 and from that point, I left and I went to college. 01:27 Because the interesting thing is, 01:29 I had wanted to go to college, 01:32 but could not decide on the right ones. 01:34 So he came along right in time 01:37 to put me on the right path to ministry. 01:38 So God's right on time. 01:40 God was on time. Amen. 01:42 And so I went to Oakwood 01:44 where I studied theology and communication. 01:47 Now Oakwood is where? 01:49 Oakwood University, now university is in Huntsville, 01:52 Alabama, in the Tennessee valley very beautiful location. 01:56 And upon graduating from Oakwood, 01:59 I served in South Atlantic Conference, 02:02 which is in Atlanta, Georgia. 02:03 Now what do you mean, you served? 02:05 As an Associate Publishing Director, 02:08 so I went into the literature work. Okay. 02:12 And then from there I went to 02:13 north-eastern conference in New York, 02:17 you know, I served as a Pastor. Okay. 02:20 You know, in Connecticut, in New York. 02:24 Queens, New York. Upstate, New York. 02:26 Ithaca, Cornell and Rochester and now in Huntsville, 02:32 Alabama teaching. Okay. 02:34 I went back to school during that time to receive a PhD 02:38 in organizational psychology, you know. 02:40 Now I am familiar, first of all I mean, 02:42 this is kind of getting interesting here, 02:45 because we have got a Pastor that's getting into psychology. 02:49 Now I would like for you to explain first of all, 02:53 how that happened because some people don't see 02:55 those two things as connecting at all. 02:58 Right, well when I was a Pastor, 03:00 I was confronted with many different issues in the church 03:03 that I really wanted to understand better. 03:07 I was confronted with incest, 03:10 you know, and I had to work families 03:13 through this horrible situation. 03:16 And I watched families destroy because of that. 03:19 And also Paraphilia, child abuse and other problems, 03:27 you know, that I wanted to have more skills 03:30 and work in families through. 03:32 And so I went back to school and I noticed that two volumes, 03:36 "Mind, Character and Personality" 03:37 book one and two really is a summary 03:42 of what psychology is all about. 03:44 And the original word is Greek. 03:46 Psyche and logos which is understanding the human soul. 03:50 And from my perspective and from reading 03:52 "Mind Character and Personality" you know, it's the same thing, 03:57 you know that's listed in those book, 03:59 so it helps me to keep things in perspective. 04:02 And so, yes, they go hand in hand, 04:05 you know, as far as I am concerned. 04:06 I do not validate my faith in anyway shape or form. 04:09 Amen. Amen. 04:11 I am true to the principle of my faith. 04:12 Now you are a professor now, is that right? 04:14 That is correct. 04:16 And where are you a professor? At Oakwood University. 04:18 Okay, so you went back home. 04:20 Ah, yes, I went back to Oakwood. 04:22 And what is your particular role their? 04:24 I am a Chair of Psychology currently and a lot of people-- 04:27 Okay. So does that make you the head dog of Psychology? 04:29 Does that mean where the buck stops here 04:31 is that kind of what that means? 04:33 Well, if you want that, yes, yes. 04:36 A very beautiful opportunity to work with young people 04:41 and to try to instill in them, 04:43 you know, the thing that really helped me through 04:45 when I was coming up. Amen. 04:46 So you're taking the things that you went through 04:50 plus God's word incorporated that 04:53 and now you're actually teaching it. Absolutely. 05:00 Is your classes full because people are 05:04 actually interested in getting into 05:05 Psychology of the ministry or what? 05:08 Well, my particular responsibility, 05:12 I am in psychology and I teach marriage in a family. 05:17 You know, I do have nurses. 05:20 I have theology students, psychology students, sociology. 05:26 I have a combination of students in that particular class. 05:30 In fact, in all of our classes I teach 05:32 psychology of religion. Okay. 05:34 Also so it talks about how religion 05:36 can influence behavior 05:38 and how when religion is not kept in a true perspective, 05:42 it can bring about negative characteristics. 05:45 We become dogmatic, legalistic. 05:49 They would behave in ways that are destructive. 05:52 All though we are religious, 05:54 but still we can become destructive with religion. 05:55 So we have got lots of baggage. Lots of baggage. 05:59 And so I am assuming 06:00 that there's a lot of outside influences 06:03 with good people that they are having to carry forward 06:07 because they want to serve the Lord, 06:10 but yet because of the baggage 06:11 that they have, they get confused. 06:14 They get confused. 06:15 And that's when religion can become destructive. 06:19 And so my whole thing is to keep it in perspective. 06:23 The Bible talks about the woman you know, 06:27 with a cup of wine, you know, 06:30 and there's opposing combination. 06:32 People are drunk after wine at Babylon 06:34 and so if religion is not kept in perspective, 06:39 you can become intoxicated. 06:40 And it can lead to destructive behavior. Amen. 06:46 And so talking about this toxicity of the body 06:49 through this confusion, how do you direct your students? 06:53 Well, I teach them about the truth in God's word. 06:58 You know, teaching the truth in love. Okay. 07:05 Truth is truth, but if it is presented in a negative way, 07:10 then it becomes destructive. 07:13 It becomes destructive, so I try to teach it around love. 07:20 How do we bring the good news into it, 07:23 the good news of the gospel? 07:26 We bring the good news in it 07:27 because we are talking about truth 07:29 and we talk about Sabbath keeping 07:31 which is endorsed in the Bible and how to do it. 07:34 You know it could be enforced in destructive ways 07:37 and I often give the example of a young man 07:39 who grew up in a very cold part of the country, 07:42 I won't say where it was, but it was sub-zero degrees. 07:46 And he refused to permit his son and his wife 07:50 to warm soup on the Sabbath 07:52 because he said that it would be a considered work. 07:56 And so in that case then it becomes destructive. 08:00 You know, so we ought to present everything we do in love. 08:05 So the truth comes in that way. 08:08 And so it has to be balanced. 08:09 It has to be balanced because the devil is seeking 08:12 especially on these last days to get us 08:14 too liberal or too far right. 08:20 You know and we have to be careful. 08:22 Because he wraps it up looking mighty good in all that-- 08:25 Absolutely he really does. He really does. 08:27 And so I think that God is calling us 08:29 to be balanced, individually. 08:32 Yes, now we can, this is certainly not 08:34 a 20th century or 21st century issue, 08:37 we can go back into the Bible history 08:40 and we can see that there's probably examples there 08:43 that had the same challenges, is that right? 08:46 Yes, you are very correct. 08:48 Do you want to expound on some of those-- 08:50 Well, yes some of the examples, 08:52 if you look at the New Testament when Jesus came 08:55 and I know His people Israel 08:58 had it laid out in certain law 09:00 that you can walk only so far on a Sabbath day. 09:03 You cannot heal on the Sabbath day. 09:06 They had made keeping the law a burden 09:08 and Christ never meant for it to be there. 09:10 Although we are obligated to keep the law, 09:13 you know, but it has to be a kind of freedom. 09:17 Not to do want we want, you know, 09:19 but a liberator from sin and from negative impact. 09:24 So I would imagine like we probably take it back, 09:27 Samson probably had some, 09:30 we all are familiar with Samson and Delilah 09:32 they probably had some issues. 09:34 Right. Absolutely. 09:35 I mean, we can just kind of take this whole way thing, 09:38 but now let's bring it up to the day in the last days. 09:41 We are living in the last days right now. 09:44 At the Seventh Day Adventist we hear this all the time. 09:46 I work at the 3ABN Pastoral 09:49 and I mean I am seeing Mathew 24, 09:52 just everyday something's happening. Absolutely. 09:54 I believe with all my heart that we are living in the last days. 09:58 My father who has just passed away, 10:01 he thought that he was living in the last days. 10:04 But, you know, needless to say and we were closer to the end 10:08 now than it was with him, you know. 10:10 But where are we standing with families in the last days. 10:14 Well, the Bible talks about 10:16 certain issues being defining moments. 10:20 You know, it talks about marry 10:23 and give in into marriage, you know divorces. 10:26 It talks about violence, 10:29 you know in the last days 10:30 perilous times are going to come. 10:32 You know Paul talks about that. 10:35 And Lamech I believe in the Book of Genesis, 10:38 you know kind of bragged to his wives 10:43 of what he would do, you know, they didn't fall into line 10:47 and during his time that was leading up to the flood. 10:52 And we say in theological term Eschaton, 10:55 you know that's moving up to the end of that particular era. 10:59 You know violence increased, increased 11:03 and I think in our day and time 11:05 Jesus talks about the times of Lot, the times of Noah, 11:11 and he talks about how the characteristics 11:16 that defined that generation would also define 11:19 you know, His second coming. 11:21 You know the judgment of the second coming as well. 11:25 And so that's how we draw the connection. 11:28 And in Mathew 24, it talks a lot about that also. So-- 11:33 Now expound on that some, 11:34 we have gone from Lot, we have gone from Noah, 11:36 we have gone to Mathew 24 11:39 and now we are in Dr. Weem's class. 11:43 And let's take it a step farther, 11:45 how does this have to do with us today? 11:47 How does this have to do with the violence and everything 11:50 that the youth are involved? 11:55 It means that we should not do church 11:59 so to speak, for the like of a better word, as usual. 12:02 You know we shall look at things from a different perspective 12:05 considering you know all kinds of evil 12:10 will creep into the world or has crept into the world. 12:14 It should not be church as usual, 12:17 but we should be about God business as Noah, 12:20 you know, who labored for God 120 years 12:24 who kept his family together 12:26 and as a result they all were saved. 12:29 Unlike Lot's family, 12:33 you know although many of them were saved, 12:35 but I think his wife looked back in a pin of inspiration 12:38 lets us know they had Lot moved with more haste, 12:42 had it been more deliberate and had he had a greater conviction, 12:47 his wife probably would have saved. I know. 12:50 Okay, so it's time to create families 12:53 with more intentionality and not just casually, 12:57 you know because your salvation is at stake 12:59 and your quality of life 13:01 while waiting for the Second Advent, 13:04 you know, is at stake. 13:05 You know there are many people, 13:07 scarred and wounded because of bad choices. 13:10 And it's not that God cannot save, 13:13 you know, He can save. 13:15 God is trying to correct the problems that we are in. 13:18 You know, but we want a better quality of life. 13:21 We don't want to bring unnecessary trials 13:24 and unnecessary struggles upon us 13:27 especially in these moments, 13:30 the final moments of earth's history. 13:32 So do you see the issues that we deal with today, 13:35 the youth deal with today, 13:36 let's just say media for example. Okay. 13:38 Do you see any big challenge that they have today 13:44 that they perhaps didn't have? 13:46 Let's just go back into the 1700's, 13:49 let's go back into AD 50. 13:52 You know, I mean, just some place in there, 13:54 you know, the media is so allowed well today 13:57 in keeping up with the challenges 13:59 and how does all this fit in here together 14:01 from an eschatology stand point 14:05 as well from just a practical standpoint. 14:09 Right. Polygamy has always existed. 14:13 Affairs always existed. 14:17 But today it is in a broader sense, 14:19 because the media now is worldwide 14:22 and not just TV are we talking about, 14:25 we are also talking also about the Internet, you know, 14:28 which is a very, very dangerous tool to leave unattended. 14:32 You know for children to go on at will. 14:36 I mean, I was casually keying in 14:38 I was looking for information on White House once 14:40 and all kinds of stuff just jumped out, 14:44 you know in my face. 14:45 So we are talking about pornography who deliberately, 14:49 you know, those who are behind it, 14:50 would deliberately try to get as many hits 14:53 as they possibly can 14:55 and so now children are being desensitized to it. 15:00 You know, it's the norm. 15:03 Having an affair is the norm. 15:05 You know you see it on TV, 15:07 you know where this star would meet a person 15:09 and before you know it, they're in bed. 15:12 So we are talking about you know, 15:14 Satan working through the media. 15:16 Although, God works through the media as well. 15:19 Both internet and also the TV. 15:22 You know, but we have to be more intentional 15:24 in protecting our children. 15:26 The family is for salvation and in the book "Adventist's home" 15:30 that I was reading, she says 15:32 that Satan is trying to deface God's image, 15:36 you know, by polluting the family, 15:39 or destroying and breaking down the family, 15:42 which is sacred as the Sabbath, as sacred as the Sabbath. 15:46 And as he is angry with those who keep the Sabbath, 15:49 he is also angry with the family. 15:51 So they go together and they interface. 15:53 The Sabbath and the family you know 15:56 because the Sabbath was made for man according to the Bible. 16:00 You know for us to come aside and share time together, 16:03 to be with each other, to foster, cohesion, 16:06 the congruence if I may use that term, 16:09 so that these family members they were trained, 16:12 they can go out and do the same thing to their family. 16:15 But if we don't do our job than this is how sacred it is, 16:19 people don't realize that God has placed children, 16:23 you know, in the care of parents to foster, 16:27 you know, God like characteristics, 16:30 so they can carry it on. 16:32 And if we mess up, 16:34 the violence we see in this world today among teens 16:36 I think is reflective of an incongruent home. 16:40 You know, disjointed family where children 16:44 didn't get their attention maybe because of work, 16:46 may be because of the negligence. 16:48 I don't know what the cause is odd but, 16:51 but I do know we are in serious times 16:54 and even if you have to stay at home 16:56 and live a more humble lifestyle, 17:00 you know, live off one income. 17:02 We can do it, if we plan it that way. 17:05 So what I am hearing you say is that our priorities are wrong. 17:08 Our priorities are all wrong. 17:10 It should be centered around the children 17:11 and not the children centered around us. 17:14 You know because that's how critical these times are 17:19 and children learn better from the parents in their home. 17:24 And so the home is most influential 17:28 when it comes to fostering, you know salvation. 17:32 It starts in the home. 17:34 People think in the church, no, the home. 17:37 The first teacher originates in the home 17:39 and then the church and then the school. 17:42 And so these are the systems that work together to reinforce. 17:48 And organizational psychology, exactly what does that mean? 17:54 Okay, it is a study of behavior 17:57 in the work place in any organization. 18:02 You know how do you-- 18:04 Now would the home be an organization? 18:05 The home is an organization. 18:07 The church is an organization. 18:08 The family is an organization. 18:10 So an organization works better 18:12 when there's congruence or cohesion, 18:15 when everyone is together, let me say it like that. 18:18 It works better and attachment is better. 18:21 And when children are attached to the parents 18:26 then they are some what inoculated, 18:28 the term I like to use against peer pressure. 18:32 You know, you have their ear and they have your ear. 18:37 You have the primary influence 18:39 and not the drug pusher on the corner 18:41 and not the drug pusher in school 18:42 and not the people who are trying to lead them astray. 18:44 So how do we make that a reality? 18:46 You know because needless to say 18:48 this is what all parents would want 18:51 their home to be as a loving home 18:53 and it seems like Satan and his deceptive ways comes in 18:56 and just entices these kids away. 18:59 So what can we do different in our homes 19:03 for a lot of those people out there you know, that says 19:06 "Hey, we have got a loving home 19:08 and at least I thought then I found out, 19:11 my son was on drugs. 19:12 We had no idea that he was on drugs." 19:15 I mean so how can, 19:17 I am saying this politely but talk is cheap. 19:19 Right, Right. 19:21 You say, I mean, we can sit here and we can talk this stuff, 19:25 but how can we walk it. 19:26 What can a parent do 19:28 that's maybe different than what they are doing 19:31 and because I deal with this every day. 19:33 Right, Right. 19:34 In the last days and again we have to be more intentional. 19:40 Intentional, I think I know what that means, 19:42 but does intentional mean to me. 19:45 We have a health message. Okay. 19:48 Before let me say in this term, the neonatal, 19:53 the prenatal and the preconception environment. 19:56 Preconception environment, 19:58 I mean, before we even consider birthing children, 20:02 we should make sure that we are eating right. 20:06 We are not using drugs. 20:07 We are not using, I mean, caffeine, 20:09 anything that would harm the fetus. 20:11 You know because the lack of nutrition, 20:16 or malnutrition is a leading cause 20:18 for attention deficit disorder, a behavior disorder. 20:21 Schizophrenia and a lot of psychological problem. 20:24 So nutrition is vital. 20:26 So that the synopsis in the dendrite 20:28 can make proper connections in the brain, 20:31 attention deficit and all of those disorders 20:33 can be traced back, you know, 20:35 to the pre-conception and the pre-natal environment 20:39 and in the neo-natal I like to say after birth. 20:42 You know, it needs to be in a certain order. 20:45 I mean worship God. Pray every day. 20:48 Eat right, spend time and stay connected. 20:51 I see a lot of parents bringing their children to college 20:54 and at 17, 18 and drop them off and they say it's all over. 21:00 Praise the Lord. And that's when they need to be connected. 21:05 You know the frontal lobe, 21:07 the executive function of the brain 21:08 does not develop until 25 and in some cases it's 30. 21:12 So youthful indiscretion they still can make mistakes 21:16 and that's all right, it is normal. 21:18 But the whole thing is if you are in touch 21:20 with your children and connected with them 21:23 you know, they're less likely, 21:25 you know most young people 21:27 I've talked to make youthful indiscretion 21:30 when there is a break 21:31 in communication with their parents. 21:33 You know, you cannot go a year 21:35 without talking to your children, 21:37 especially when they are 18 and 19. 21:40 You know they need some kind of parental guidance. 21:44 A reminder, did you go to the Sabbath, 21:45 did you go to church today. 21:48 You know, how are things coming? 21:49 And so we need to remain connected 21:52 and make sure our attachment is proper. 21:54 Daddy wanted me let me grow up. 21:56 I want to do things my way, you know I've done in a way, 21:59 but you know, I am ready to go out on my own. 22:02 Right. And I hear that all the time. 22:06 You know but I know that God has given me 22:08 the authority in my home. 22:10 You know, not to rudely enforce His law 22:14 you know, but to help my children understand 22:18 that God would have them to behave in a certain way. 22:22 And, yes, I hear you and I will let you grow up. 22:25 I am not going to overly protect 22:28 you know, but I am going to guide you. 22:31 You know through the choices you make 22:33 until you are old enough to make decisions on your own. 22:37 So we know that it's monkey see monkey do. Yes. 22:41 That is so true because parents are looking up, 22:44 the kids are looking up at their parents. 22:47 And subject to how the parents handle the situation 22:50 I guess is depends on 22:51 whether the children are going to follow. 22:53 You know it gets really complex in there. 22:56 How can a parent exemplify 23:00 a mature relationship with God 23:05 that's going to trickle down to the kids 23:08 and then reinforce that behavior? 23:12 First of all, if you're a genuine Christian 23:15 at your home-- Explain 'genuine Christian.' 23:19 If you're doing what God has called you to do? 23:23 It's in Deuteronomy that's talk about, 23:25 you should teach them diligently when you walk by the way, 23:28 when you go to bed, when you get up, 23:29 when you come in, when you go out. 23:31 So you should teach them diligently, 23:34 the Bible says diligently about God. 23:38 And that's the whole responsibility 23:40 and not only teach them, but live the life. 23:43 If they know that you are trying to obey God 23:47 I think we'll get the respect, 23:48 but in some cases I must say, regardless of what you do, 23:52 they'll still going to do bad things 23:54 and they're going to end up on the wrong side. 23:56 It doesn't matter, but at least you know 23:59 they are less likely if you follow the principles, 24:03 you know that God-- 24:04 Because say if you had three children, 24:07 two of them may just grow up to be really responsible 24:10 and then that one, 24:12 the black sheep in all the family 24:15 you know, that he was going to go do things his way. 24:18 So I mean it's just so confusing. 24:21 But even then there is hope. Amen. 24:23 There is hope, but if you look at Samson, 24:25 at least he came back. You bet. 24:27 You know, if you instill it within them they may go astray, 24:30 but you know most of the time they won't go far, 24:34 you know they will maintain their relationships, 24:37 so we have hope. 24:39 If we do our part, we have hope and just continue to pray 24:43 and never stop loving them. 24:45 Regardless, of what they do. 24:46 Even if they do become drug addicts or alcoholics, 24:50 just love them like God would. 24:51 And that's how we develop 24:53 these significant relationships. 24:55 Love, you know not because you deserve it, 24:59 or they deserve it or they earned it. 25:02 But because it is the principle of God 25:03 our God made this love because God loves. 25:06 Amen. Quickly we don't have it, a couple of minutes left. 25:10 Let's talk about the first, say from years three to seven, 25:16 from two to seven, one to seven how important is that. 25:20 Well, from one to seven is what I call the crucial period. 25:25 The brain develops more rapidly during this period 25:29 than any other period. 25:31 It is foundational to character development. 25:35 And any negative behavior that you don't nip in the bud 25:39 at that time becomes more difficult. 25:43 You know to nip as they get older 25:46 it becomes a struggle of theirs, when they get older. 25:49 So the first seven years is where-- 25:51 those character building, that's more influential 25:54 than all of the other periods of life 25:57 and so you need to correct 25:59 any bad behavior at that particular time. 26:02 And I guess this goes back to whenever before the parents 26:05 even think about having children. 26:10 They need to have a good foundation. Absolutely. 26:13 They need to have a direction in their life. 26:15 And not just say "Hey, we are in lust, 26:17 so let's go out and set the world on fire." 26:20 And then be there to suffer consequences later. 26:23 Absolutely, they need to be prepared 26:26 and they go out with premarital counseling 26:27 and a whole lot of other things. 26:29 Yeah, so I am sure you that you believe in 26:31 pre-marital counseling. Absolutely. 26:34 What do you think, how long should 26:35 a pre-marital counseling last? 26:40 Jesus taught his disciples three and half years. Amen. 26:44 And so to fully get to know a person it takes time. 26:48 And that's what, I mean, 26:49 I keep mentioning intentionality, 26:51 you have to get to know people. 26:54 You know you have to know the criminal background, 26:56 you have to know the problems in the family, 26:59 you have to know that. 27:01 So you can make informed decisions. 27:05 Yeah. I think it is very important. Yes. 27:09 As we can see we are getting down to where it was, 27:12 we are just nearly out of time. 27:13 Anything that you would like to say in 20 seconds? 27:16 Sure, I would like to say remain hopeful regardless, 27:18 of what you're going through. 27:19 It doesn't matter what God has permitted you to go through. 27:23 If you're in the midst of the divorce 27:24 just hang in there and build character. 27:27 And a little while He that shall come will come 27:29 and He will not tarry. Amen. Amen. 27:33 Well, this has been a wonderful time. 27:35 Needless to say time has been our enemy 27:36 because we are just now getting warmed up for this. 27:39 But I know that we certainly appreciate you 27:42 being with us here at "Issues and Answers" 27:45 and I certainly can speak for 3ABN 27:47 and for Dr. Weems and myself. 27:49 We love you. God loves you. 27:52 And we wish you only the very best that He has to offer. |
Revised 2014-12-17