Welcome to 'Issues and
Answers.' My name is J.D. Quinn.
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We are going to have a
wonderful program today,
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because our topic is something
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that I am really have
always been interested,
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but I haven't found
anybody really talk about
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and that is
families in the last days.
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And my guest today is Dr.
Howard Weems Jr. Thank you.
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And I would like first
of all for the people here
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that are listening to us
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to know something
about you. Who are you?
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Well, my journey
starts in Georgia.
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Atlanta, Georgia. Okay.
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I was born in a
family with seven siblings.
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Okay, I am the only
son right in the middle.
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And I grew up Pentecostal,
you know, when I was a teenager,
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a literature evangelist
came along, selling books.
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And he introduced me to
God, he gave me Bible studies
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and from that point, I
left and I went to college.
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Because the
interesting thing is,
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I had wanted to go to college,
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but could not
decide on the right ones.
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So he came along right in time
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to put me on the
right path to ministry.
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So God's right on time.
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God was on time. Amen.
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And so I went to Oakwood
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where I studied
theology and communication.
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Now Oakwood is where?
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Oakwood University, now
university is in Huntsville,
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Alabama, in the Tennessee
valley very beautiful location.
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And upon
graduating from Oakwood,
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I served in South
Atlantic Conference,
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which is in Atlanta, Georgia.
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Now what do you
mean, you served?
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As an Associate
Publishing Director,
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so I went into the
literature work. Okay.
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And then from there I went to
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north-eastern
conference in New York,
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you know, I
served as a Pastor. Okay.
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You know, in
Connecticut, in New York.
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Queens, New York.
Upstate, New York.
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Ithaca, Cornell and
Rochester and now in Huntsville,
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Alabama teaching. Okay.
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I went back to school during
that time to receive a PhD
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in organizational
psychology, you know.
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Now I am familiar,
first of all I mean,
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this is kind of
getting interesting here,
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because we have got a Pastor
that's getting into psychology.
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Now I would like for
you to explain first of all,
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how that happened
because some people don't see
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those two things
as connecting at all.
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Right, well when I was a Pastor,
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I was confronted with many
different issues in the church
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that I really wanted
to understand better.
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I was confronted with incest,
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you know, and I
had to work families
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through this horrible situation.
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And I watched families
destroy because of that.
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And also Paraphilia,
child abuse and other problems,
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you know, that I
wanted to have more skills
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and work in families through.
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And so I went back to school
and I noticed that two volumes,
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"Mind,
Character and Personality"
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book one and two
really is a summary
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of what psychology is all about.
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And the original word is Greek.
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Psyche and logos which is
understanding the human soul.
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And from my
perspective and from reading
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"Mind Character and Personality"
you know, it's the same thing,
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you know that's
listed in those book,
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so it helps me to
keep things in perspective.
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And so, yes,
they go hand in hand,
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you know, as far
as I am concerned.
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I do not validate my
faith in anyway shape or form.
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Amen. Amen.
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I am true to the
principle of my faith.
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Now you are a
professor now, is that right?
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That is correct.
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And where are you a professor?
At Oakwood University.
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Okay, so you went back home.
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Ah, yes, I went back to Oakwood.
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And what is your
particular role their?
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I am a Chair of Psychology
currently and a lot of people--
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Okay. So does that make
you the head dog of Psychology?
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Does that mean
where the buck stops here
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is that kind of what that means?
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Well, if you
want that, yes, yes.
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A very beautiful opportunity
to work with young people
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and to try to instill in them,
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you know, the thing
that really helped me through
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when I was coming up. Amen.
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So you're taking the
things that you went through
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plus God's word
incorporated that
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and now you're actually
teaching it. Absolutely.
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Is your classes
full because people are
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actually
interested in getting into
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Psychology of
the ministry or what?
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Well, my
particular responsibility,
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I am in psychology and I
teach marriage in a family.
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You know, I do have nurses.
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I have theology students,
psychology students, sociology.
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I have a combination of students
in that particular class.
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In fact, in all of
our classes I teach
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psychology of religion. Okay.
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Also so it talks
about how religion
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can influence behavior
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and how when religion is
not kept in a true perspective,
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it can bring about
negative characteristics.
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We become dogmatic, legalistic.
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They would behave in
ways that are destructive.
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All though we are religious,
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but still we can become
destructive with religion.
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So we have got lots of
baggage. Lots of baggage.
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And so I am assuming
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that there's a lot
of outside influences
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with good people that they
are having to carry forward
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because they want
to serve the Lord,
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but yet because of the baggage
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that they have,
they get confused.
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They get confused.
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And that's when
religion can become destructive.
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And so my whole thing is
to keep it in perspective.
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The Bible talks
about the woman you know,
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with a cup of wine, you know,
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and there's
opposing combination.
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People are drunk
after wine at Babylon
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and so if religion is
not kept in perspective,
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you can become intoxicated.
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And it can lead to
destructive behavior. Amen.
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And so talking about
this toxicity of the body
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through this confusion, how
do you direct your students?
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Well, I teach them
about the truth in God's word.
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You know, teaching
the truth in love. Okay.
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Truth is truth, but if it
is presented in a negative way,
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then it becomes destructive.
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It becomes destructive, so
I try to teach it around love.
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How do we bring
the good news into it,
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the good news of the gospel?
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We bring the good news in it
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because we are
talking about truth
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and we talk
about Sabbath keeping
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which is endorsed in
the Bible and how to do it.
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You know it could be
enforced in destructive ways
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and I often give the
example of a young man
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who grew up in a very
cold part of the country,
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I won't say where it was,
but it was sub-zero degrees.
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And he refused to
permit his son and his wife
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to warm soup on the Sabbath
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because he said that it
would be a considered work.
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And so in that case
then it becomes destructive.
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You know, so we ought to present
everything we do in love.
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So the truth comes in that way.
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And so it has to be balanced.
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It has to be balanced
because the devil is seeking
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especially on
these last days to get us
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too liberal or too far right.
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You know and we
have to be careful.
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Because he wraps it up looking
mighty good in all that--
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Absolutely he really
does. He really does.
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And so I think
that God is calling us
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to be balanced, individually.
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Yes, now we can,
this is certainly not
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a 20th century or
21st century issue,
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we can go back
into the Bible history
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and we can see that
there's probably examples there
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that had the same
challenges, is that right?
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Yes, you are very correct.
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Do you want to
expound on some of those--
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Well, yes some of the examples,
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if you look at the New
Testament when Jesus came
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and I know His people Israel
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had it laid out in certain law
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that you can walk only
so far on a Sabbath day.
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You cannot heal
on the Sabbath day.
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They had made
keeping the law a burden
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and Christ never
meant for it to be there.
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Although we are
obligated to keep the law,
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you know, but it has
to be a kind of freedom.
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Not to do want
we want, you know,
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but a liberator from sin
and from negative impact.
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So I would imagine like
we probably take it back,
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Samson probably had some,
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we all are familiar
with Samson and Delilah
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they probably had some issues.
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Right. Absolutely.
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I mean, we can just kind
of take this whole way thing,
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but now let's bring it up
to the day in the last days.
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We are living in
the last days right now.
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At the Seventh Day Adventist
we hear this all the time.
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I work at the 3ABN Pastoral
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and I mean I am
seeing Mathew 24,
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just everyday something's
happening. Absolutely.
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I believe with all my heart that
we are living in the last days.
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My father who
has just passed away,
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he thought that he was
living in the last days.
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But, you know, needless to say
and we were closer to the end
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now than it was
with him, you know.
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But where are we standing
with families in the last days.
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Well, the Bible talks about
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certain issues
being defining moments.
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You know, it talks about marry
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and give in into
marriage, you know divorces.
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It talks about violence,
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you know in the last days
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perilous times
are going to come.
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You know Paul talks about that.
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And Lamech I believe
in the Book of Genesis,
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you know kind of
bragged to his wives
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of what he would do, you
know, they didn't fall into line
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and during his time that
was leading up to the flood.
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And we say in
theological term Eschaton,
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you know that's moving up to
the end of that particular era.
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You know violence
increased, increased
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and I think in our day and time
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Jesus talks about the
times of Lot, the times of Noah,
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and he talks about
how the characteristics
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that defined that
generation would also define
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you know, His second coming.
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You know the judgment of
the second coming as well.
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And so that's how
we draw the connection.
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And in Mathew 24, it talks
a lot about that also. So--
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Now expound on that some,
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we have gone from Lot,
we have gone from Noah,
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we have gone to Mathew 24
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and now we are
in Dr. Weem's class.
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And let's take
it a step farther,
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how does this have
to do with us today?
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How does this have to do
with the violence and everything
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that the youth are involved?
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It means that we
should not do church
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so to speak, for the like
of a better word, as usual.
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You know we shall look at things
from a different perspective
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considering you
know all kinds of evil
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will creep into the world
or has crept into the world.
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It should not
be church as usual,
00:12:14.10\00:12:17.00
but we should be
about God business as Noah,
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you know, who
labored for God 120 years
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who kept his family together
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and as a result
they all were saved.
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Unlike Lot's family,
00:12:29.99\00:12:33.36
you know although
many of them were saved,
00:12:33.39\00:12:35.53
but I think his wife looked
back in a pin of inspiration
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lets us know they had
Lot moved with more haste,
00:12:38.59\00:12:42.57
had it been more deliberate and
had he had a greater conviction,
00:12:42.60\00:12:47.69
his wife probably
would have saved. I know.
00:12:47.72\00:12:50.30
Okay, so it's
time to create families
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with more intentionality
and not just casually,
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you know because
your salvation is at stake
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and your quality of life
00:12:59.67\00:13:01.60
while waiting for
the Second Advent,
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you know, is at stake.
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You know there are many people,
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scarred and wounded
because of bad choices.
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And it's not
that God cannot save,
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you know, He can save.
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God is trying to correct
the problems that we are in.
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You know, but we want
a better quality of life.
00:13:18.79\00:13:21.77
We don't want to
bring unnecessary trials
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and unnecessary
struggles upon us
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especially in these moments,
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the final moments
of earth's history.
00:13:30.56\00:13:32.43
So do you see the
issues that we deal with today,
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the youth deal with today,
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let's just say
media for example. Okay.
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Do you see any big
challenge that they have today
00:13:38.96\00:13:44.84
that they perhaps didn't have?
00:13:44.87\00:13:46.52
Let's just go
back into the 1700's,
00:13:46.55\00:13:49.28
let's go back into AD 50.
00:13:49.31\00:13:52.52
You know, I mean,
just some place in there,
00:13:52.55\00:13:54.53
you know, the media
is so allowed well today
00:13:54.56\00:13:57.25
in keeping up
with the challenges
00:13:57.28\00:13:59.07
and how does all
this fit in here together
00:13:59.10\00:14:01.14
from an eschatology stand point
00:14:01.17\00:14:05.52
as well from just a
practical standpoint.
00:14:05.55\00:14:09.43
Right. Polygamy
has always existed.
00:14:09.46\00:14:13.67
Affairs always existed.
00:14:13.70\00:14:17.03
But today it is
in a broader sense,
00:14:17.06\00:14:19.75
because the
media now is worldwide
00:14:19.78\00:14:22.58
and not just TV
are we talking about,
00:14:22.61\00:14:25.00
we are also talking also
about the Internet, you know,
00:14:25.03\00:14:28.30
which is a very, very dangerous
tool to leave unattended.
00:14:28.33\00:14:32.41
You know for
children to go on at will.
00:14:32.44\00:14:36.01
I mean, I was casually keying in
00:14:36.04\00:14:38.75
I was looking for
information on White House once
00:14:38.78\00:14:40.92
and all kinds of
stuff just jumped out,
00:14:40.95\00:14:44.13
you know in my face.
00:14:44.16\00:14:45.53
So we are talking about
pornography who deliberately,
00:14:45.56\00:14:49.28
you know, those
who are behind it,
00:14:49.31\00:14:50.68
would deliberately
try to get as many hits
00:14:50.71\00:14:53.53
as they possibly can
00:14:53.56\00:14:55.48
and so now children are
being desensitized to it.
00:14:55.51\00:14:59.97
You know, it's the norm.
00:15:00.00\00:15:03.50
Having an affair is the norm.
00:15:03.53\00:15:05.44
You know you see it on TV,
00:15:05.47\00:15:07.17
you know where this
star would meet a person
00:15:07.20\00:15:09.57
and before you
know it, they're in bed.
00:15:09.60\00:15:12.10
So we are
talking about you know,
00:15:12.13\00:15:14.70
Satan working through the media.
00:15:14.73\00:15:16.18
Although, God works
through the media as well.
00:15:16.21\00:15:19.48
Both internet and also the TV.
00:15:19.51\00:15:22.26
You know, but we have
to be more intentional
00:15:22.29\00:15:24.78
in protecting our children.
00:15:24.81\00:15:26.27
The family is for salvation and
in the book "Adventist's home"
00:15:26.30\00:15:30.15
that I was reading, she says
00:15:30.18\00:15:32.12
that Satan is trying
to deface God's image,
00:15:32.15\00:15:36.26
you know, by
polluting the family,
00:15:36.29\00:15:39.01
or destroying and
breaking down the family,
00:15:39.04\00:15:42.86
which is sacred as the Sabbath,
as sacred as the Sabbath.
00:15:42.89\00:15:46.58
And as he is angry with
those who keep the Sabbath,
00:15:46.61\00:15:49.24
he is also
angry with the family.
00:15:49.27\00:15:51.16
So they go
together and they interface.
00:15:51.19\00:15:53.82
The Sabbath and
the family you know
00:15:53.85\00:15:56.37
because the Sabbath was made
for man according to the Bible.
00:15:56.40\00:15:59.98
You know for us to come
aside and share time together,
00:16:00.01\00:16:03.05
to be with each
other, to foster, cohesion,
00:16:03.08\00:16:06.80
the congruence if
I may use that term,
00:16:06.83\00:16:09.90
so that these family
members they were trained,
00:16:09.93\00:16:12.38
they can go out and do the
same thing to their family.
00:16:12.41\00:16:15.27
But if we don't do our job
than this is how sacred it is,
00:16:15.30\00:16:19.02
people don't realize
that God has placed children,
00:16:19.05\00:16:23.60
you know, in the
care of parents to foster,
00:16:23.63\00:16:27.72
you know, God
like characteristics,
00:16:27.75\00:16:30.55
so they can carry it on.
00:16:30.58\00:16:32.04
And if we mess up,
00:16:32.07\00:16:34.04
the violence we see in
this world today among teens
00:16:34.07\00:16:36.58
I think is reflective
of an incongruent home.
00:16:36.61\00:16:40.76
You know, disjointed
family where children
00:16:40.79\00:16:44.61
didn't get their
attention maybe because of work,
00:16:44.64\00:16:46.90
may be because
of the negligence.
00:16:46.93\00:16:48.56
I don't know what
the cause is odd but,
00:16:48.59\00:16:51.82
but I do know we
are in serious times
00:16:51.85\00:16:54.17
and even if you
have to stay at home
00:16:54.20\00:16:56.30
and live a more
humble lifestyle,
00:16:56.33\00:17:00.03
you know, live off one income.
00:17:00.06\00:17:02.08
We can do it, if
we plan it that way.
00:17:02.11\00:17:05.31
So what I am hearing you say is
that our priorities are wrong.
00:17:05.34\00:17:08.37
Our priorities are all wrong.
00:17:08.40\00:17:10.09
It should be
centered around the children
00:17:10.12\00:17:11.83
and not the
children centered around us.
00:17:11.86\00:17:14.62
You know because that's
how critical these times are
00:17:14.65\00:17:19.38
and children learn better
from the parents in their home.
00:17:19.41\00:17:24.54
And so the home
is most influential
00:17:24.57\00:17:28.12
when it comes to
fostering, you know salvation.
00:17:28.15\00:17:32.71
It starts in the home.
00:17:32.74\00:17:34.53
People think in the
church, no, the home.
00:17:34.56\00:17:37.22
The first teacher
originates in the home
00:17:37.25\00:17:39.95
and then the church
and then the school.
00:17:39.98\00:17:42.19
And so these are the systems
that work together to reinforce.
00:17:42.22\00:17:48.29
And organizational psychology,
exactly what does that mean?
00:17:48.32\00:17:54.17
Okay, it is a study of behavior
00:17:54.20\00:17:57.75
in the work place
in any organization.
00:17:57.78\00:18:02.93
You know how do you--
00:18:02.96\00:18:04.33
Now would the home
be an organization?
00:18:04.36\00:18:05.73
The home is an organization.
00:18:05.76\00:18:07.13
The church is an organization.
00:18:07.16\00:18:08.53
The family is an organization.
00:18:08.56\00:18:10.59
So an organization works better
00:18:10.62\00:18:12.01
when there's
congruence or cohesion,
00:18:12.04\00:18:15.89
when everyone is together,
let me say it like that.
00:18:15.92\00:18:18.51
It works better and
attachment is better.
00:18:18.54\00:18:21.60
And when children are
attached to the parents
00:18:21.63\00:18:26.21
then they are
some what inoculated,
00:18:26.24\00:18:28.68
the term I like to
use against peer pressure.
00:18:28.71\00:18:32.15
You know, you have their
ear and they have your ear.
00:18:32.18\00:18:37.39
You have the primary influence
00:18:37.42\00:18:39.01
and not the drug
pusher on the corner
00:18:39.04\00:18:40.97
and not the
drug pusher in school
00:18:41.00\00:18:42.61
and not the people who are
trying to lead them astray.
00:18:42.64\00:18:44.01
So how do we
make that a reality?
00:18:44.04\00:18:46.44
You know because needless to say
00:18:46.47\00:18:48.35
this is what all
parents would want
00:18:48.38\00:18:51.46
their home to
be as a loving home
00:18:51.49\00:18:53.15
and it seems like Satan
and his deceptive ways comes in
00:18:53.18\00:18:56.76
and just
entices these kids away.
00:18:56.79\00:18:59.89
So what can we do
different in our homes
00:18:59.92\00:19:03.58
for a lot of those people
out there you know, that says
00:19:03.61\00:19:06.44
"Hey, we have got a loving home
00:19:06.47\00:19:08.52
and at least I
thought then I found out,
00:19:08.55\00:19:11.07
my son was on drugs.
00:19:11.10\00:19:12.61
We had no idea
that he was on drugs."
00:19:12.64\00:19:15.25
I mean so how can,
00:19:15.28\00:19:17.77
I am saying this
politely but talk is cheap.
00:19:17.80\00:19:19.80
Right, Right.
00:19:19.83\00:19:21.20
You say, I mean, we can sit
here and we can talk this stuff,
00:19:21.23\00:19:25.32
but how can we walk it.
00:19:25.35\00:19:26.87
What can a parent do
00:19:26.90\00:19:28.44
that's maybe different
than what they are doing
00:19:28.47\00:19:31.08
and because I deal
with this every day.
00:19:31.11\00:19:33.53
Right, Right.
00:19:33.56\00:19:34.93
In the last days and again
we have to be more intentional.
00:19:34.96\00:19:40.23
Intentional, I think
I know what that means,
00:19:40.26\00:19:42.96
but does intentional mean to me.
00:19:42.99\00:19:45.13
We have a health message. Okay.
00:19:45.16\00:19:48.24
Before let me say in
this term, the neonatal,
00:19:48.27\00:19:53.39
the prenatal and the
preconception environment.
00:19:53.42\00:19:56.80
Preconception environment,
00:19:56.83\00:19:58.22
I mean, before we even
consider birthing children,
00:19:58.25\00:20:02.33
we should make sure
that we are eating right.
00:20:02.36\00:20:06.23
We are not using drugs.
00:20:06.26\00:20:07.63
We are not
using, I mean, caffeine,
00:20:07.66\00:20:09.05
anything that
would harm the fetus.
00:20:09.08\00:20:11.74
You know because
the lack of nutrition,
00:20:11.77\00:20:16.05
or malnutrition
is a leading cause
00:20:16.08\00:20:18.38
for attention deficit
disorder, a behavior disorder.
00:20:18.41\00:20:21.37
Schizophrenia and a lot
of psychological problem.
00:20:21.40\00:20:24.02
So nutrition is vital.
00:20:24.05\00:20:26.23
So that the
synopsis in the dendrite
00:20:26.26\00:20:28.53
can make proper
connections in the brain,
00:20:28.56\00:20:31.23
attention deficit and
all of those disorders
00:20:31.26\00:20:33.24
can be traced back, you know,
00:20:33.27\00:20:35.37
to the pre-conception
and the pre-natal environment
00:20:35.40\00:20:39.81
and in the neo-natal I
like to say after birth.
00:20:39.84\00:20:42.67
You know, it needs to
be in a certain order.
00:20:42.70\00:20:44.97
I mean worship
God. Pray every day.
00:20:45.00\00:20:48.60
Eat right, spend
time and stay connected.
00:20:48.63\00:20:51.40
I see a lot of parents bringing
their children to college
00:20:51.43\00:20:54.20
and at 17, 18 and drop them
off and they say it's all over.
00:20:54.23\00:21:00.08
Praise the Lord. And that's
when they need to be connected.
00:21:00.11\00:21:05.58
You know the frontal lobe,
00:21:05.61\00:21:07.09
the executive
function of the brain
00:21:07.12\00:21:08.64
does not develop until 25
and in some cases it's 30.
00:21:08.67\00:21:12.79
So youthful indiscretion
they still can make mistakes
00:21:12.82\00:21:16.45
and that's all
right, it is normal.
00:21:16.48\00:21:18.16
But the whole thing
is if you are in touch
00:21:18.19\00:21:20.93
with your children
and connected with them
00:21:20.96\00:21:23.95
you know, they're less likely,
00:21:23.98\00:21:25.89
you know most young people
00:21:25.92\00:21:27.43
I've talked to make
youthful indiscretion
00:21:27.46\00:21:30.22
when there is a break
00:21:30.25\00:21:31.93
in communication
with their parents.
00:21:31.96\00:21:33.78
You know, you cannot go a year
00:21:33.81\00:21:35.95
without talking
to your children,
00:21:35.98\00:21:37.76
especially when
they are 18 and 19.
00:21:37.79\00:21:40.50
You know they need some
kind of parental guidance.
00:21:40.53\00:21:44.15
A reminder, did
you go to the Sabbath,
00:21:44.18\00:21:45.90
did you go to church today.
00:21:45.93\00:21:48.02
You know, how are things coming?
00:21:48.05\00:21:49.93
And so we need
to remain connected
00:21:49.96\00:21:52.77
and make sure our
attachment is proper.
00:21:52.80\00:21:54.18
Daddy wanted me let me grow up.
00:21:54.21\00:21:56.33
I want to do things my way,
you know I've done in a way,
00:21:56.36\00:21:59.28
but you know, I am
ready to go out on my own.
00:21:59.31\00:22:02.26
Right. And I hear
that all the time.
00:22:02.29\00:22:06.19
You know but I know
that God has given me
00:22:06.22\00:22:08.38
the authority in my home.
00:22:08.41\00:22:10.48
You know, not to
rudely enforce His law
00:22:10.51\00:22:14.48
you know, but to help
my children understand
00:22:14.51\00:22:18.43
that God would have them
to behave in a certain way.
00:22:18.46\00:22:22.12
And, yes, I hear you
and I will let you grow up.
00:22:22.15\00:22:25.51
I am not going to overly protect
00:22:25.54\00:22:28.55
you know, but I am
going to guide you.
00:22:28.58\00:22:31.62
You know through
the choices you make
00:22:31.65\00:22:33.02
until you are old enough
to make decisions on your own.
00:22:33.05\00:22:37.96
So we know that it's
monkey see monkey do. Yes.
00:22:37.99\00:22:41.00
That is so true
because parents are looking up,
00:22:41.03\00:22:44.48
the kids are
looking up at their parents.
00:22:44.51\00:22:47.05
And subject to how the
parents handle the situation
00:22:47.08\00:22:50.45
I guess is depends on
00:22:50.48\00:22:51.85
whether the
children are going to follow.
00:22:51.88\00:22:53.90
You know it gets
really complex in there.
00:22:53.93\00:22:56.11
How can a parent exemplify
00:22:56.14\00:23:00.70
a mature relationship with God
00:23:00.73\00:23:05.08
that's going to
trickle down to the kids
00:23:05.11\00:23:08.25
and then
reinforce that behavior?
00:23:08.28\00:23:12.83
First of all, if
you're a genuine Christian
00:23:12.86\00:23:15.47
at your home--
Explain 'genuine Christian.'
00:23:15.50\00:23:19.08
If you're doing what
God has called you to do?
00:23:19.11\00:23:23.58
It's in
Deuteronomy that's talk about,
00:23:23.61\00:23:25.22
you should teach them diligently
when you walk by the way,
00:23:25.25\00:23:28.35
when you go to
bed, when you get up,
00:23:28.38\00:23:29.96
when you come
in, when you go out.
00:23:29.99\00:23:31.95
So you should
teach them diligently,
00:23:31.98\00:23:34.35
the Bible says
diligently about God.
00:23:34.38\00:23:38.49
And that's the
whole responsibility
00:23:38.52\00:23:40.74
and not only teach
them, but live the life.
00:23:40.77\00:23:43.76
If they know that you
are trying to obey God
00:23:43.79\00:23:47.13
I think we'll get the respect,
00:23:47.16\00:23:48.67
but in some cases I must
say, regardless of what you do,
00:23:48.70\00:23:52.51
they'll still
going to do bad things
00:23:52.54\00:23:54.12
and they're going to
end up on the wrong side.
00:23:54.15\00:23:56.96
It doesn't matter,
but at least you know
00:23:56.99\00:23:59.95
they are less likely if
you follow the principles,
00:23:59.98\00:24:02.97
you know that God--
00:24:03.00\00:24:04.37
Because say if you
had three children,
00:24:04.40\00:24:07.56
two of them may just grow
up to be really responsible
00:24:07.59\00:24:10.75
and then that one,
00:24:10.78\00:24:12.26
the black sheep
in all the family
00:24:12.29\00:24:15.36
you know, that he was
going to go do things his way.
00:24:15.39\00:24:18.75
So I mean it's
just so confusing.
00:24:18.78\00:24:21.77
But even then
there is hope. Amen.
00:24:21.80\00:24:23.69
There is hope, but
if you look at Samson,
00:24:23.72\00:24:25.58
at least he came back. You bet.
00:24:25.61\00:24:27.57
You know, if you instill it
within them they may go astray,
00:24:27.60\00:24:30.44
but you know most of
the time they won't go far,
00:24:30.47\00:24:34.01
you know they will
maintain their relationships,
00:24:34.04\00:24:37.53
so we have hope.
00:24:37.56\00:24:39.80
If we do our part, we have
hope and just continue to pray
00:24:39.83\00:24:43.46
and never stop loving them.
00:24:43.49\00:24:45.16
Regardless, of what they do.
00:24:45.19\00:24:46.56
Even if they do become
drug addicts or alcoholics,
00:24:46.59\00:24:50.10
just love them like God would.
00:24:50.13\00:24:51.94
And that's how we develop
00:24:51.97\00:24:53.36
these significant relationships.
00:24:53.39\00:24:55.29
Love, you know not
because you deserve it,
00:24:55.32\00:24:59.49
or they deserve
it or they earned it.
00:24:59.52\00:25:02.14
But because it is
the principle of God
00:25:02.17\00:25:03.95
our God made this
love because God loves.
00:25:03.98\00:25:06.61
Amen. Quickly we don't have
it, a couple of minutes left.
00:25:06.64\00:25:10.63
Let's talk about the first,
say from years three to seven,
00:25:10.66\00:25:16.74
from two to seven, one to
seven how important is that.
00:25:16.77\00:25:20.74
Well, from one to seven is
what I call the crucial period.
00:25:20.77\00:25:25.92
The brain develops more
rapidly during this period
00:25:25.95\00:25:29.60
than any other period.
00:25:29.63\00:25:31.53
It is foundational to
character development.
00:25:31.56\00:25:35.13
And any negative behavior
that you don't nip in the bud
00:25:35.16\00:25:38.97
at that time
becomes more difficult.
00:25:39.00\00:25:43.82
You know to nip
as they get older
00:25:43.85\00:25:46.00
it becomes a struggle of
theirs, when they get older.
00:25:46.03\00:25:49.42
So the first
seven years is where--
00:25:49.45\00:25:51.74
those character building,
that's more influential
00:25:51.77\00:25:54.40
than all of the
other periods of life
00:25:54.43\00:25:57.51
and so you need to correct
00:25:57.54\00:25:59.59
any bad behavior at
that particular time.
00:25:59.62\00:26:02.42
And I guess this goes back
to whenever before the parents
00:26:02.45\00:26:05.25
even think
about having children.
00:26:05.28\00:26:10.60
They need to have a
good foundation. Absolutely.
00:26:10.63\00:26:13.01
They need to have a
direction in their life.
00:26:13.04\00:26:15.38
And not just say
"Hey, we are in lust,
00:26:15.41\00:26:17.93
so let's go out and
set the world on fire."
00:26:17.96\00:26:20.69
And then be there to
suffer consequences later.
00:26:20.72\00:26:23.25
Absolutely, they
need to be prepared
00:26:23.28\00:26:25.98
and they go out with
premarital counseling
00:26:26.01\00:26:27.78
and a whole lot of other things.
00:26:27.81\00:26:29.31
Yeah, so I am sure
you that you believe in
00:26:29.34\00:26:31.42
pre-marital
counseling. Absolutely.
00:26:31.45\00:26:34.09
What do you
think, how long should
00:26:34.12\00:26:35.88
a pre-marital counseling last?
00:26:35.91\00:26:40.36
Jesus taught his disciples
three and half years. Amen.
00:26:40.39\00:26:44.27
And so to fully get to
know a person it takes time.
00:26:44.30\00:26:48.02
And that's what, I mean,
00:26:48.05\00:26:49.42
I keep
mentioning intentionality,
00:26:49.45\00:26:51.64
you have to get to know people.
00:26:51.67\00:26:54.34
You know you have to
know the criminal background,
00:26:54.37\00:26:56.72
you have to know the
problems in the family,
00:26:56.75\00:26:59.48
you have to know that.
00:26:59.51\00:27:01.18
So you can make
informed decisions.
00:27:01.21\00:27:05.22
Yeah. I think it is
very important. Yes.
00:27:05.25\00:27:09.90
As we can see we are
getting down to where it was,
00:27:09.93\00:27:12.20
we are just nearly out of time.
00:27:12.23\00:27:13.60
Anything that you would
like to say in 20 seconds?
00:27:13.63\00:27:16.01
Sure, I would like to say
remain hopeful regardless,
00:27:16.04\00:27:18.52
of what you're going through.
00:27:18.55\00:27:19.92
It doesn't matter what God
has permitted you to go through.
00:27:19.95\00:27:23.06
If you're in the
midst of the divorce
00:27:23.09\00:27:24.54
just hang in there
and build character.
00:27:24.57\00:27:27.34
And a little while He
that shall come will come
00:27:27.37\00:27:29.91
and He will not
tarry. Amen. Amen.
00:27:29.94\00:27:33.58
Well, this has
been a wonderful time.
00:27:33.61\00:27:34.98
Needless to say
time has been our enemy
00:27:35.01\00:27:36.96
because we are just now
getting warmed up for this.
00:27:36.99\00:27:39.54
But I know that we
certainly appreciate you
00:27:39.57\00:27:42.82
being with us here
at "Issues and Answers"
00:27:42.85\00:27:45.02
and I certainly
can speak for 3ABN
00:27:45.05\00:27:47.36
and for Dr. Weems and myself.
00:27:47.39\00:27:49.55
We love you. God loves you.
00:27:49.58\00:27:52.19
And we wish you only the
very best that He has to offer.
00:27:52.22\00:27:55.79