Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn.
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And welcome again to
"Issues and Answers."
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Today, our issue
is how to make friends
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with people in the world
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that you might influence
them for the glory of God.
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And you know the Bible
tells us in Matthew 4:4--
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Ah, excuse me, James 4:4.
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James writes and he says,
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"Friendship with the
world is enmity toward God."
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Does that mean that God
doesn't want us to go out
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and make friends among
the world, I don't think so?
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Listen to this, Paul
writes in Philippians 2:15.
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He's actually been telling them,
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all the thing that they need
to do to be pleasing to God.
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But then he says,
"Do all these things
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that you may show yourselves
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to be blameless,
and guiltless, innocent,
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and
uncontaminated children of God."
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Show to whom? To the world.
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He says, "In the
midst of a crooked
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and wicked
generation, among whom
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you are seen as bright lights
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(stars or beacons
shining in the universe)
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in this old dark world as
you hold out the word of life."
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Now if Christians
only hang with Christians,
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if we only
associate with Christians,
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how are we then
holding out the word of life?
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There's people in darkness.
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And our guest
today is going to tell us
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that we need to
expand our Spirit
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to go into all the world
and reach out for those people
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who don't know Jesus
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and share God's
light in their life.
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Let me introduce to you,
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Herb Larsen, our
friend here at 3ABN.
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Canadian businessman,
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actually
international businessman,
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I should say from Canada
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and the president
of Imagine Life Media.
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Herb, God's called
you to a unique ministry.
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He has you ministering
one-on-one to billionaires,
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Hollywood people,
people who are atheist,
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but he has taught you
in the midst of all of this
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something very important
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about developing
friendship, hasn't He?
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Well, that's right.
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And what He has taught me--
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See here's the
thing, as I came--
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I went to Christian school
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from grade 1
through college. Okay.
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Christian Schools of Holy.
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When I came out of college,
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I was separatist
I hate to say that,
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but I was separatist meaning--
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I couldn't interact
with people of denominations
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even forget about
people of the world.
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I was so used to be
in sort of a cocoon. Yes.
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That I didn't have any skills
to interact with the world
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and in college they didn't
teach me something as basic as
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how do you make friends
with people of the world.
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They didn't teach that
in Harvard Business School.
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And yet once I got
out I'm in business
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I recognize that the
ability to make friendship
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is absolutely
paramount to being in business.
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When I walk into
the office of the CEO
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of a major multinational
multibillion dollar company,
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I don't have time to spend,
you know, two, three hours
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trying to develop the
friendship with that person.
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I have to in three
to four, five minutes
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bond with that person by finding
something in common with him
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because my wears in my
company, you know, provides
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maybe something
like somebody else has,
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so I don't have
time there, normal
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he have the patience to listen
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to why is my company
better than somebody else's.
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So what I have to
do is bond with him,
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so how do I do that.
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I have to find
something we have in common.
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So I'll scanner on the office,
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if I see a
picture of a sails boat,
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what am I gonna talk about.
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Child wearing probably not,
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but if there's children
there in picture as well,
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I will talk about,
oh, how many kids you have
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or whatever you
get on a common ground.
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If I see a baseball glove,
I'm gonna talk about baseball.
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And so it's absolutely
paramount to success in life
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to be able to make friendships
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especially if
you're in business,
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but above all else,
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if we are to be
the light of the world,
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if we are to
interact with world.
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When the Bible says "Go you
therefore into all the world."
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We're not gonna go out there
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and try to get as far as we
can and speak with a megaphone,
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no, we're gonna have
to get close to people
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became friends, built trust,
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because you see there's
a mechanics to friendship.
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Now you painted a
good visual there,
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because when you
said about the megaphone
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and trying to, you know,
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you see people in the
urban or metropolitan areas,
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you may see somebody that
standing out with the megaphone
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and they're
giving this message that
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"You're all bound for hell."
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And you see people going
"Those crazy Christians."
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And they go right around
them and just pay no attention.
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But what you're saying is that
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in order for us to shine
and stars in the universe,
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we've got to have the example
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that we're
living out in our life.
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But we've got to find
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something in
common with someone,
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build a little bonding,
a little relationship here
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where they begin to trust you,
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where they begin to think,
hey, you are a nice person.
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And so if you're
meeting a strange person,
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you a stranger, I should say,
this necessary a strange person.
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Tell me both, but yeah.
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Both-- If you're
meeting a stranger
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and you want to
influence them for Christ,
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you're not
going right up to them
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and get in
their face and saying,
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"Hey, are you ready
to meet your maker?"
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Is that right?
That's right, absolutely.
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Because the thing is
this unless you become friends
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how else are you
going to display your life?
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And what is your life?
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It is run by someone
outside yourself, by God. Yes.
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See unless we get--
unless we get near the people,
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unless we get
close to the people
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through friendship, they
won't be able to see that.
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You know, if I
walk down the street,
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my gate doesn't give
me away as a Christian,
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my clothes may not
give me away as a Christian.
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What will say, there's something
different about that person?
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But I'll get close to somebody,
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build a
friendship and a relationship
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with that person,
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they get to firsthand
see what drives my life,
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they get to see why I have
an advantage in life over them.
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And it's because
we're able to get close.
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And see there's a real
problem in organization
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and this is, this can be
church, it can be corporate.
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And it's certainly not
peculiar to one denomination,
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because there's
a cross the board.
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For example, let's just look
at the corporate end of things.
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If you grew up in a environment
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where you only
associated with people
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that you automatically
have things in common
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with the common denominator,
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you're not gonna have to
work to make friendships.
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For example, if
I work for a Boeing
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or Microsoft or General Electric
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or any other number of huge
corporations around the world
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that have offices
all over the world.
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If everyday I go and
work with those people
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and then I
travel for that company
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and I meet other
offices for that company.
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When I walk in an office,
say, I'm working for Boeing,
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I walk in an office and
some are there says in Europe.
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And a Boeing representative
picks me up. I'm from Boeing.
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I'm here to pick you up in
the Limozeen, blah-blah-blah.
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I don't have to
work to make friendships,
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we have a common denominator.
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'Cause see friendships have
to have a common denominator,
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something we share
in common to built.
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And if I'm just hanging around
Boeing people only all the time,
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I don't have to
work to make friends.
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You know, what you're
saying is remind me of that.
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I tell people when I travel,
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the nice thing
about being an Adventist,
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you know, I'm going to several
different churches a month.
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But you have built in
family wherever you go,
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you don't have to work at this,
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because we do
have so much in common,
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if I go to do a retreat or
a revival series. Absolutely.
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It's just like
there's automatically
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that there's nothing
that you have to work for,
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so there is this trust
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and relationship
that's kind of built in,
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because of common denominators.
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Absolutely.
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And that is
wonderful, it's comforting,
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and I think God
instituted the ability of,
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you know, group
organization. What it does?
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It tense to be
detrimental simply
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because if you become
a separatist like I was
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coming out of college,
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it not only
debilitated me in business,
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it also
debilitated me in ability
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to lead people to Christ
and to get close to them.
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And so I had to overcome that
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and, you know, God
works in mysterious ways.
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So here I am, I'm
having a hard time
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meshing with the
world and I'm in business.
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So I don't go
associate with those people
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and so therefore
they can't get to know me
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as a person as he trustworthy,
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'cause we want to business
somebody who is trustworthy,
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so those are all
important things.
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But what I found most is
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I just had a terrible
time interacting with people
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that I didn't have the built
in common denominator with.
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And so what God did with me,
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and this probably seems haywire.
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But I'm a preacher's kid
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that means my mother is
a pastor's wife obviously.
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But my mother
when I was in college
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she pushed my
brothers and I into music, art,
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and all the different
creative things growing up.
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And so in college though
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she picked on another
one for me to get involved.
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And she said, "What do you
learn how to engrave guns?"
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Now that doesn't sound
like a very Christian thing
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to do to engrave guns.
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That's where you
take chisel and hammer
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and chisel the
steel and the gun,
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you lay gold,
silver, and platinum--
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So I got into that
at my mom's request.
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And I found a
master and study that
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and gotten all
the magazines gun,
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digest guns and--everything.
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Anyway as I thought, "Well,
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where is this
going as the Christian?"
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Well, anyways
after out of the college,
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'cause I started
studying gun engrave it college,
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independent of college.
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And what happened is
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I got invited to
engrave high end gun
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that ultimately across $30,000
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to build engrave
and everything else.
00:09:48.21\00:09:49.97
Well, it turned out,
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I didn't know who
the owner was of the gun,
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I only know the gun
maker, famous gun maker.
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So I did all the work.
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Turns out to
invite to me to the party,
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you know, an unveiling
party where you open box up
00:10:00.46\00:10:02.76
and all the
friends are there. Right.
00:10:02.79\00:10:04.16
Well, when I
went to attend this,
00:10:04.19\00:10:06.69
you know, unveiling
of this incredible gun,
00:10:06.72\00:10:09.11
it wound up that
it was Hele's Angels,
00:10:09.14\00:10:11.58
it was the president of the
Hele's Angels for our province,
00:10:11.61\00:10:15.07
who had commissioned the
gun of the gun maker. Right.
00:10:15.10\00:10:18.01
So here I am standing
around 50 Hele's Angels
00:10:18.04\00:10:21.68
guys, all they're
collars and everything else.
00:10:21.71\00:10:24.19
Well, you know, as a separatist
that was a huge shock. I'm sure.
00:10:24.22\00:10:29.89
I want to tell you
it was--it was like
00:10:29.92\00:10:32.13
I was in another
world for awhile,
00:10:32.16\00:10:33.86
just I mean, it's like I
couldn't believe I was there.
00:10:33.89\00:10:36.37
Make a long story
short, they like my work
00:10:36.40\00:10:39.56
and before it's all over,
they were all perusing me.
00:10:39.59\00:10:44.31
And before along, I
was going and tying flies,
00:10:44.34\00:10:47.39
you know, like, I like
to fly fish once in awhile.
00:10:47.42\00:10:49.76
And so I was tying flies
with these guys, interacting
00:10:49.79\00:10:52.62
and I wasn't going there
to be permanent Hele's Angel
00:10:52.65\00:10:54.43
I wasn't going
there do anything else.
00:10:54.46\00:10:55.83
But what it did for me is
it, it shocked me under reality
00:10:55.86\00:10:59.48
that God needs me everywhere.
00:10:59.51\00:11:04.65
And, you know, I'm
sitting and thinking
00:11:04.68\00:11:07.43
when we think
back on Jesus life,
00:11:07.46\00:11:09.89
if He had been a separatist
00:11:09.92\00:11:12.81
or He did not go
outside to reach, of course, now
00:11:12.84\00:11:16.15
He said He was sent to
the lost sheep of Israel.
00:11:16.18\00:11:20.25
Absolutely.
00:11:20.28\00:11:21.65
But the lost sheep
of Israel were a mess.
00:11:21.68\00:11:26.13
I mean, they may have had
a little something in common,
00:11:26.16\00:11:28.15
but they were a mess
00:11:28.18\00:11:29.91
and he was accused
as you have often said
00:11:29.94\00:11:32.34
in conversation of being
winebibber and in drunker.
00:11:32.37\00:11:35.28
He associated with people
00:11:35.31\00:11:37.03
that were not
"Religious people."
00:11:37.06\00:11:44.44
How do you when
you are associating
00:11:44.47\00:11:47.05
with someone like this?
00:11:47.08\00:11:48.68
How do you interact
with them once they--
00:11:48.71\00:11:51.42
I mean, how
long does it take you
00:11:51.45\00:11:52.82
once it get to kind of know you
then do you bring up the Lord
00:11:52.85\00:11:55.46
or you let Him
know right off the back,
00:11:55.49\00:11:57.04
you are a Christian?
00:11:57.07\00:11:58.44
How do you bond with Him
00:11:58.47\00:11:59.88
in an area
that's has commonality
00:11:59.91\00:12:02.40
and yet let them know,
00:12:02.43\00:12:03.98
"Hey, there's a
difference between you and me?
00:12:04.01\00:12:06.62
So you could find common
ground in five minutes. Okay.
00:12:06.65\00:12:09.96
And of course, once
you have common ground
00:12:09.99\00:12:12.12
you have something
to work with. Okay.
00:12:12.15\00:12:14.57
And from that
point, very quickly
00:12:14.60\00:12:16.55
I get into sharing
what I'm all about,
00:12:16.58\00:12:17.95
I never tell people
what they have to do,
00:12:17.98\00:12:19.35
but this is all part
of the friendship thing.
00:12:19.38\00:12:20.81
I want them to understand
00:12:20.84\00:12:22.82
that I'm worthy to
be a friend of them,
00:12:22.85\00:12:24.22
even though there's
seems like nothing in common
00:12:24.25\00:12:26.09
in terms you're
religious and I'm not.
00:12:26.12\00:12:28.57
I want them to understand
where I'm coming from,
00:12:28.60\00:12:30.46
but at the same time
I want them to see that
00:12:30.49\00:12:33.00
that I can relate to them.
00:12:33.03\00:12:35.39
All right, so let's say
that I'm an atheist. Okay.
00:12:35.42\00:12:37.64
And you've met
me on an airplane.
00:12:37.67\00:12:40.13
And you find
something, I'm reading a book
00:12:40.16\00:12:42.28
that you look over and say,
00:12:42.31\00:12:43.68
"Oh, I've heard of this author."
00:12:43.71\00:12:45.08
And you start some
little conversation with me.
00:12:45.11\00:12:48.51
How are we going to?
00:12:48.54\00:12:49.91
And we're gonna do a
program with you on witnessing.
00:12:49.94\00:12:51.80
So I--maybe jumping
the gun a little bit.
00:12:51.83\00:12:54.12
But how are you going to develop
00:12:54.15\00:12:56.45
this friendship with me
00:12:56.48\00:12:58.95
when we've got
nothing in common?
00:12:58.98\00:13:02.94
Okay, well, the first
thing I would do in a situation
00:13:02.97\00:13:04.81
which I do every
time on a airplane.
00:13:04.84\00:13:07.12
I see so where you headed,
00:13:07.15\00:13:08.88
what do you up to,
I'm Mr. 20 Questions.
00:13:08.91\00:13:10.67
My wife's family, they
call me, Mr. 20 Questions,
00:13:10.70\00:13:13.67
'cause I guess, you know,
00:13:13.70\00:13:15.12
I got too much
curiosity for my own good.
00:13:15.15\00:13:16.89
But anyways I could ask to them,
00:13:16.92\00:13:18.56
you know, what you do,
you know, where you going,
00:13:18.59\00:13:20.54
what you doing, all that kind
of stuff. So once I find out.
00:13:20.57\00:13:22.13
Oh, and I start
talking about their occupation.
00:13:22.16\00:13:24.18
Well, who doesn't want
to talk about themselves?
00:13:24.21\00:13:26.12
See here's where
they trust works.
00:13:26.15\00:13:28.13
I give you a little bit,
and you could either tramp on,
00:13:28.16\00:13:30.74
you know, like I tell
you little bit on myself
00:13:30.77\00:13:32.17
and you could
either tramp on that or say
00:13:32.20\00:13:33.64
"Oh, that's
wonderful what else about you?"
00:13:33.67\00:13:36.25
And that's how you build trust.
00:13:36.28\00:13:37.65
You gave a little
and I can trust you
00:13:37.68\00:13:41.45
with that little I gave you
00:13:41.48\00:13:42.85
and then give
little more, little more.
00:13:42.88\00:13:44.25
So when you get talking, I don't
start talking about myself.
00:13:44.28\00:13:46.71
I used to talking about--
00:13:46.74\00:13:48.11
I'm finding
common ground with them,
00:13:48.14\00:13:49.77
because I'm the
one with the agenda,
00:13:49.80\00:13:52.01
I want to see them in
the kingdom of heaven.
00:13:52.04\00:13:55.16
And so, of course, I also want
to get to know these people.
00:13:55.19\00:13:59.50
So I get chat them up that
way and find out what they are,
00:13:59.53\00:14:01.97
so we get this
conversation going.
00:14:02.00\00:14:03.85
Then when they start to ask me.
00:14:03.88\00:14:06.38
"Oh, you know what you do?"
00:14:06.41\00:14:07.78
Of course that will come around.
00:14:07.81\00:14:09.24
Oh, I'm a
businessman-- Not always,
00:14:09.27\00:14:10.64
'cause I try this so often
00:14:10.67\00:14:12.04
and sometimes you
get somebody talking
00:14:12.07\00:14:13.90
on a plane for 10 minutes
00:14:13.93\00:14:15.65
and then they'd never--
you know you're sitting there,
00:14:15.68\00:14:17.46
waiting for them to ask you
00:14:17.49\00:14:18.86
and then they pickup
their book and start doing this.
00:14:18.89\00:14:21.18
Yeah, well, that happens
00:14:21.21\00:14:22.61
once in a while,
that's a sad moment,
00:14:22.64\00:14:24.01
you know, when you
got to go the whole flight
00:14:24.04\00:14:25.41
without social
interaction whatever.
00:14:25.44\00:14:27.66
Yeah, so they get asking me
and so then I start sharing,
00:14:27.69\00:14:31.32
you know, I'm a
businessman. Oh, what do you do?
00:14:31.35\00:14:33.37
So, you know,
business, so I tell them.
00:14:33.40\00:14:35.45
But then the perfect thing
about that is they want to know,
00:14:35.48\00:14:37.98
okay, what about your
business everything else.
00:14:38.01\00:14:39.65
And I say, you
know, that's all relevant,
00:14:39.68\00:14:41.39
that used to be relevant to me,
00:14:41.42\00:14:42.79
like I used to have my
business to make money.
00:14:42.82\00:14:46.16
And I say, but, you know,
00:14:46.19\00:14:47.56
my life was
never that fulfilling,
00:14:47.59\00:14:49.09
even though I made money,
00:14:49.12\00:14:50.49
you know, and even
though I had success,
00:14:50.52\00:14:51.89
and even though all
those things came together,
00:14:51.92\00:14:53.79
it was empty for me.
00:14:53.82\00:14:55.19
Oh, so you make a
switch right over to--
00:14:55.22\00:14:56.94
Oh, wait, wait I said--
To develop this friendship
00:14:56.97\00:14:59.02
and we are
getting into it witnessing
00:14:59.05\00:15:00.42
but that that's fine
to develop this friendship
00:15:00.45\00:15:03.41
with total stranger
00:15:03.44\00:15:04.81
and one that
probably the nonbeliever,
00:15:04.84\00:15:07.29
you get right away
from talking about them
00:15:07.32\00:15:10.88
to what they're asking you
00:15:10.91\00:15:12.63
and that gives you permission
to share your story. Absolutely.
00:15:12.66\00:15:14.98
And then you just crack
right into that testimony.
00:15:15.01\00:15:19.70
I'm move into what
my life was like before,
00:15:19.73\00:15:21.64
because I know
they're gonna relate to it,
00:15:21.67\00:15:23.04
they have to, that's
the way the world is,
00:15:23.07\00:15:25.10
Blaise Pascal in
1500s that all figured out.
00:15:25.13\00:15:27.82
There's a God shaped
vacuum in every man. Yeah.
00:15:27.85\00:15:31.40
And so that's
how friendships work.
00:15:31.43\00:15:33.68
And you begin to
develop this common ground
00:15:33.71\00:15:36.83
and you begin to hangout.
00:15:36.86\00:15:38.23
And then they'll listen
to you, but see the only way
00:15:38.26\00:15:40.95
they're ever gonna want
Jesus is if they see it in you.
00:15:40.98\00:15:44.60
See here's the thing that
we have to always keep in mind
00:15:44.63\00:15:47.77
and I bring this up all the time
00:15:47.80\00:15:49.17
doesn't matter what
subject it is almost.
00:15:49.20\00:15:50.57
But the world doesn't care,
00:15:50.60\00:15:53.45
they could careless
what we know. Absolutely.
00:15:53.48\00:15:56.88
The world wants to
know what do we have. Right.
00:15:56.91\00:15:59.95
That's the difference.
00:15:59.98\00:16:01.42
And friendships allow
us to spend time with them
00:16:01.45\00:16:04.86
so that they can
see what we have.
00:16:04.89\00:16:07.04
And when you're
talking about what we have,
00:16:07.07\00:16:08.65
you're talking
about what's in here,
00:16:08.68\00:16:10.34
what's up here,
what's our belief system,
00:16:10.37\00:16:12.56
what's the advantage of
our belief system. Absolutely.
00:16:12.59\00:16:15.74
And people see
that contentment. Okay.
00:16:15.77\00:16:17.97
You see lots of
things in the world.
00:16:18.00\00:16:19.98
But so how do you
build the friendship?
00:16:20.01\00:16:21.84
How does the Christian who
is the separatist at this point,
00:16:21.87\00:16:25.06
because they've
always been in the realm
00:16:25.09\00:16:26.91
of commonality with people,
00:16:26.94\00:16:28.36
how do he went out from there.
00:16:28.39\00:16:29.76
Hey, you know, and let me take,
00:16:29.79\00:16:31.48
I'm gonna grab back a
real in my little example
00:16:31.51\00:16:34.78
of the man on the
plane, because that's gonna--
00:16:34.81\00:16:37.49
I'm gonna save you for
our next program together.
00:16:37.52\00:16:39.72
But let me take
at this direction.
00:16:39.75\00:16:42.15
When you're
saying, how did we do this?
00:16:42.18\00:16:43.82
Let's say, it's my
next door neighbor.
00:16:43.85\00:16:45.27
A lot of people don't even know
00:16:45.30\00:16:46.67
their next door
neighbors. It's true.
00:16:46.70\00:16:48.07
And a lot of people come home.
00:16:48.10\00:16:49.66
I had a neighbor a
number of years ago
00:16:49.69\00:16:52.31
that when we
moved into a new home,
00:16:52.34\00:16:53.71
I only had one neighbor.
00:16:53.74\00:16:55.45
And when we moved in there,
00:16:55.48\00:16:58.11
the husband came over
to let me know right away.
00:16:58.14\00:17:00.68
My wife is a
high school teacher,
00:17:00.71\00:17:04.19
when she comes home from work,
00:17:04.22\00:17:05.86
she wants to watch her so
purpose that she's recorded
00:17:05.89\00:17:11.32
and drink a glass of wine
00:17:11.35\00:17:12.72
and she doesn't want
anyone to come over and visit,
00:17:12.75\00:17:15.02
so I'm letting you
know that right up front.
00:17:15.05\00:17:18.05
Okay, how do you make friends
with the next door neighbor,
00:17:18.08\00:17:21.15
they're not believers,
00:17:21.18\00:17:22.79
who really don't seem
to have a lot of interest
00:17:22.82\00:17:25.54
in developing a
friendship with you?
00:17:25.57\00:17:27.45
Well, see neighbors
are relatively easy,
00:17:27.48\00:17:29.81
because you have
more than one crack at it,
00:17:29.84\00:17:31.59
you know, I mean,
walking into a business meeting
00:17:31.62\00:17:34.51
and you can't make
it or break it there.
00:17:34.54\00:17:36.00
You have two to
five minutes that's it.
00:17:36.03\00:17:37.91
But the neighbor there
again you find something common.
00:17:37.94\00:17:40.27
You know, if
they're clipping dandelions,
00:17:40.30\00:17:42.28
if they happen to,
you know, we're doing that
00:17:42.31\00:17:44.42
well, you go talk
about, oh, these weeds,
00:17:44.45\00:17:46.03
you know, I mean
I wonder who's yard,
00:17:46.06\00:17:47.43
whatever you joke around
and you get on the same topic
00:17:47.46\00:17:50.39
that you're
sharing something in common
00:17:50.42\00:17:52.48
or it could be that, you
know, some other neighbors
00:17:52.51\00:17:55.69
is never mows their
lawn or whatever, I mean,
00:17:55.72\00:17:57.40
of course, you
don't have to be negative,
00:17:57.43\00:17:58.80
but the point is
that you find something
00:17:58.83\00:18:00.20
that you haven't
common with those neighbors.
00:18:00.23\00:18:02.68
And you begin to talk
about a thing you have in common
00:18:02.71\00:18:04.94
that's what builds friendships.
00:18:04.97\00:18:06.34
See, you are the one
going out of your way
00:18:06.37\00:18:08.26
to make the friendship.
00:18:08.29\00:18:09.66
If you remain a separatist,
you're expecting the world
00:18:09.69\00:18:11.97
to go out of its way
to come to you. Yeah.
00:18:12.00\00:18:14.51
But the difference is, is
we are to go into the world
00:18:14.54\00:18:18.20
and, you know, not
necessarily mesh to the point
00:18:18.23\00:18:20.61
where the world is
going to lead us astray,
00:18:20.64\00:18:22.73
but we are to go into the world
to be God's representatives.
00:18:22.76\00:18:25.98
And friendship evangelism
is the number one way,
00:18:26.01\00:18:28.92
it's to get out
there, bond with people,
00:18:28.95\00:18:32.13
let them see
what we're all about
00:18:32.16\00:18:33.84
and don't have this agenda
00:18:33.87\00:18:35.24
where if they
don't come to the church
00:18:35.27\00:18:37.17
or don't even invite them
at first that's the point.
00:18:37.20\00:18:39.51
You've got to
build this friendship,
00:18:39.54\00:18:40.91
you've got to let them
see what you're all about,
00:18:40.94\00:18:42.90
and if they can't see anything
maybe you better go find Jesus.
00:18:42.93\00:18:47.05
So you're not saying go
out and just befriend them
00:18:47.08\00:18:50.30
and not talk about
your experience with Jesus.
00:18:50.33\00:18:53.31
Oh, no-- You're saying,
00:18:53.34\00:18:54.71
you're not going
out there trying to--
00:18:54.74\00:18:57.51
how can I say this?
00:18:57.54\00:18:59.06
Jesus like the
woman at the well. Yeah.
00:18:59.09\00:19:01.40
He didn't look at her and say,
00:19:01.43\00:19:03.04
"Hey, you're gonna go to
the wrong place right away,
00:19:03.07\00:19:06.37
if you don't change
your life." That's right.
00:19:06.40\00:19:07.78
He developed
that-- He bonded with her.
00:19:07.81\00:19:10.96
And then He let her see His love
00:19:10.99\00:19:14.21
then He really
began to manifest Himself
00:19:14.24\00:19:16.46
to her who He was. That's right.
00:19:16.49\00:19:18.20
So that's the type of
approach you're talking about
00:19:18.23\00:19:20.96
with that neighbor
that maybe difficult,
00:19:20.99\00:19:22.75
you could
takeover a loaf of bread,
00:19:22.78\00:19:24.21
maybe home baked bread or
you could mow the neighbor
00:19:24.24\00:19:27.14
that's really difficult
that never mows their lawn,
00:19:27.17\00:19:29.02
maybe you out to mow their
lawn for them or something.
00:19:29.05\00:19:31.01
But you're saying,
let Jesus shine out
00:19:31.04\00:19:33.39
and you're not
trying to go up to them
00:19:33.42\00:19:36.15
and change their life overnight.
00:19:36.18\00:19:38.32
But you are
allowing by your example
00:19:38.35\00:19:42.14
to let the Lord
shine through you
00:19:42.17\00:19:45.64
and let him woo
them, say, hey, they've got
00:19:45.67\00:19:48.75
something that I
want. Well, that's right.
00:19:48.78\00:19:52.26
Unless you are
in front of people
00:19:52.29\00:19:54.92
in a close enough way
00:19:54.95\00:19:56.82
where they can
see what you have,
00:19:56.85\00:19:59.23
you're not gonna build a reveal
what it is they're missing.
00:19:59.26\00:20:03.95
See the whole world
has an emptiness, ovoid--
00:20:03.98\00:20:05.89
I mean, we know
there's couple of things
00:20:05.92\00:20:07.29
taken place right now with
all the disasters in the world,
00:20:07.32\00:20:09.77
I mean, the world
is desperate. Yes.
00:20:09.80\00:20:11.60
That world is
desperate for answers--
00:20:11.63\00:20:13.30
they're desperate for
anything relevant in life.
00:20:13.33\00:20:15.92
And when they
come along and see that
00:20:15.95\00:20:17.69
you're contented with your life,
00:20:17.72\00:20:19.09
if I meet you, if I'm
the atheist and I be--
00:20:19.12\00:20:21.06
you know, and you've come
into my world and befriended me.
00:20:21.09\00:20:25.61
And I can see you're contempt,
00:20:25.64\00:20:27.02
you know, you
don't seem to worry.
00:20:27.05\00:20:29.84
I'm sure not
life is that perfect,
00:20:29.87\00:20:31.24
but at the same time
you have this power--
00:20:31.27\00:20:33.08
We will hope
that's what they do see.
00:20:33.11\00:20:34.48
Right. That's right.
00:20:34.51\00:20:36.32
But you have
this power about you
00:20:36.35\00:20:38.44
that only when
they're close enough
00:20:38.47\00:20:40.33
will they see that. Yeah.
00:20:40.36\00:20:41.73
And that's what and of
course, what did Jesus do.
00:20:41.76\00:20:44.66
He could be friends with kids,
00:20:44.69\00:20:47.58
He could be friends
with lowest in society,
00:20:47.61\00:20:50.00
He could be friends with
the most broken in society. Yes.
00:20:50.03\00:20:53.93
He had this incredible
ability and it wasn't his looks,
00:20:53.96\00:20:57.62
I mean, Isaiah 53 tells us,
00:20:57.65\00:20:59.72
He wasn't this, you know,
good looking guy that was,
00:20:59.75\00:21:02.57
"Oh, yeah, of course, I
want to be friends with Him.
00:21:02.60\00:21:04.44
He didn't come
with any advantages,
00:21:04.47\00:21:06.24
so what was it?
00:21:06.27\00:21:08.21
He had the ability
to bond at their level.
00:21:08.24\00:21:11.24
Just like Paul
in 1 Corinthians 9,
00:21:11.27\00:21:13.21
He says, I became as this
person and as that person.
00:21:13.24\00:21:17.79
So that He didn't become them.
00:21:17.82\00:21:20.67
He didn't become a
sitter, He became as--
00:21:20.70\00:21:22.68
in other words He
got into their world
00:21:22.71\00:21:25.41
so that He could meet them.
00:21:25.44\00:21:26.81
And because too His motivation
were so totally unselfish,
00:21:26.84\00:21:29.59
I mean, He was there knowing
00:21:29.62\00:21:31.86
that He wanted to make an impact
00:21:31.89\00:21:33.61
for their eternal
benefit, for their eternal life.
00:21:33.64\00:21:36.47
So it was this total
unselfishness about Him
00:21:36.50\00:21:39.90
that I'm sure had
to have, you know.
00:21:39.93\00:21:41.92
Because most
people that you meet
00:21:41.95\00:21:43.83
you'll find in a
little short time,
00:21:43.86\00:21:45.45
they've got an agenda,
00:21:45.48\00:21:46.93
you know,
they're wanting something
00:21:46.96\00:21:48.33
a lot of times, I'm sad to say,
00:21:48.36\00:21:50.39
but a lot of times when people
are trying to befriend you,
00:21:50.42\00:21:53.49
it's that they see something
you have that they want,
00:21:53.52\00:21:57.23
but it's usually influence
or it's this that and the other.
00:21:57.26\00:22:00.04
It's so rare when someone comes
00:22:00.07\00:22:02.46
and they're not trying
to get something from you,
00:22:02.49\00:22:04.47
but rather to give to you.
00:22:04.50\00:22:06.71
So it must have been wonderful
00:22:06.74\00:22:08.53
when-- I mean I can't imagine
00:22:08.56\00:22:09.93
what it would be
like to be face to face
00:22:09.96\00:22:11.73
with Jesus in the flesh
00:22:11.76\00:22:13.61
and He is wanting to, just be
a benefit to you. That's right.
00:22:13.64\00:22:19.45
That's friendship
evangelism though.
00:22:19.48\00:22:21.16
And we are Jesus in the
flesh when you think about it.
00:22:21.19\00:22:23.86
I mean-- We're His hands,
His feet and His heart. Yeah.
00:22:23.89\00:22:27.05
We are the temple
of the Holy Spirit.
00:22:27.08\00:22:29.37
So your friendship evangelism,
this whole concept it makes it,
00:22:29.40\00:22:35.87
you know, if you've got someone
that you're going along with
00:22:35.90\00:22:38.84
and maybe you
begin to do a Bible study
00:22:38.87\00:22:40.96
or sure Bible studies
with them which I know you do.
00:22:40.99\00:22:44.29
And then
eventually at some point
00:22:44.32\00:22:46.78
they're ready to
come to your church.
00:22:46.81\00:22:49.52
You know-- That's right.
00:22:49.55\00:22:50.92
But they would never be
ready to come to your church
00:22:50.95\00:22:52.32
unless they fully
trusted you and fully understood
00:22:52.35\00:22:55.04
that you have
something they need. Yeah.
00:22:55.07\00:22:57.70
But see, see if you
try to do this mechanically
00:22:57.73\00:23:00.47
in terms of
making the transition
00:23:00.50\00:23:02.30
from a friendship
to explaining Jesus,
00:23:02.33\00:23:05.60
it doesn't work
I'm sorry to say that.
00:23:05.63\00:23:07.91
If you don't have
Jesus dwelling in you,
00:23:07.94\00:23:09.70
if you don't have a
personal relationship with Him,
00:23:09.73\00:23:12.56
there's gonna be nothing
you can say out of the Bible,
00:23:12.59\00:23:15.25
you can't pair it enough
scriptures to win people over.
00:23:15.28\00:23:18.34
It's your life, it's my
life that makes the difference,
00:23:18.37\00:23:21.68
makes the impact.
00:23:21.71\00:23:23.08
And it's your loving heart,
00:23:23.11\00:23:25.28
it's what your life is
all about that they sense.
00:23:25.31\00:23:28.16
It's not really
you at that point.
00:23:28.19\00:23:29.60
It's the Holy
Spirit through you. Amen.
00:23:29.63\00:23:32.19
And don't think the Holy Spirit
00:23:32.22\00:23:33.64
can't use you as
the silver platter
00:23:33.67\00:23:35.76
to enter other people's life.
00:23:35.79\00:23:37.86
And so the
friendship is the platter,
00:23:37.89\00:23:41.24
it is that thing that
just says here that it's yours.
00:23:41.27\00:23:45.03
Let's explain that a little
bit, 'cause what I'm taking
00:23:45.06\00:23:47.16
when you say that
another great visual, Herb,
00:23:47.19\00:23:49.10
you good at that is that.
00:23:49.13\00:23:51.37
The Holy Spirit's
using me as a silver platter
00:23:51.40\00:23:53.23
that means He uses me
to dish it up to range it--
00:23:53.26\00:23:58.10
You are the platter on which--
00:23:58.13\00:23:59.50
I'm the platter and He's putting
all of these wonderful things
00:23:59.53\00:24:02.51
that He is offering to
somebody there's a banquet
00:24:02.54\00:24:04.85
and kind of to say tasting seed
00:24:04.88\00:24:06.90
that the Lord is
good, right? Absolutely.
00:24:06.93\00:24:09.08
And you are the
platter. Yeah, that's good.
00:24:09.11\00:24:11.10
And we could be
astonished the old thing
00:24:11.13\00:24:12.91
that I wouldn't want
to eat anything of that,
00:24:12.94\00:24:15.71
you know, but and we could be
trying to dish up something that
00:24:15.74\00:24:18.35
that doesn't
even look appetizing.
00:24:18.38\00:24:19.75
But no, God's different, He
takes your life and He says.
00:24:19.78\00:24:22.25
Shines you up.
00:24:22.28\00:24:23.76
And it's all, He polishes it up
00:24:23.79\00:24:25.19
and He puts His
beautiful things.
00:24:25.22\00:24:27.37
I will fill
your heart with love,
00:24:27.40\00:24:29.65
I will touch you, and I
will give you contentment.
00:24:29.68\00:24:32.87
And as people taste
00:24:32.90\00:24:34.65
and they take up these
orders of you, of the platter,
00:24:34.68\00:24:37.09
'cause it's coming through
you, you are the conduit.
00:24:37.12\00:24:40.25
And so all of the
sudden, they begin to say,
00:24:40.28\00:24:42.79
yeah, this is something.
00:24:42.82\00:24:44.92
Now I begin to see what you have
00:24:44.95\00:24:46.74
that so different about you.
00:24:46.77\00:24:48.82
And that's the
thrill of it all. Yeah.
00:24:48.85\00:24:52.77
You know, Proverb says
00:24:52.80\00:24:54.17
to have a friend you
must be a friend. Absolutely.
00:24:54.20\00:24:56.36
And there's a lot of people
that have probably watching,
00:24:56.39\00:24:59.25
who--you maybe saying
I don't have any friends.
00:24:59.28\00:25:01.48
And it's difficult, you know,
00:25:01.51\00:25:03.95
I have a tendency,
this is interesting.
00:25:03.98\00:25:05.93
I can stand in
front of 15,000 people
00:25:05.96\00:25:08.43
and speak, my knees won't knock.
00:25:08.46\00:25:11.18
If I go into a
situation where I don't have
00:25:11.21\00:25:15.04
that support
system of the common,
00:25:15.07\00:25:17.40
you know, if I'm
just out at convention
00:25:17.43\00:25:19.71
where I don't know anyone
00:25:19.74\00:25:21.11
and I don't have
something in common with them.
00:25:21.14\00:25:22.93
I have a tendency to
be a little wallflower
00:25:22.96\00:25:25.18
till I at least
bond with one person
00:25:25.21\00:25:26.77
then I can blossom.
00:25:26.80\00:25:28.21
But what we've got to look at is
00:25:28.24\00:25:30.58
the ability to shine for Jesus
00:25:30.61\00:25:33.77
it's got to be something
that's coming out of us
00:25:33.80\00:25:36.94
that we are just sharing
00:25:36.97\00:25:39.30
our experience with
the Lord. Absolutely.
00:25:39.33\00:25:41.45
And friendship
becomes the platform. Yeah.
00:25:41.48\00:25:44.58
It becomes the means
from Jesus to do the work.
00:25:44.61\00:25:48.56
But the thing is
this that's what He did.
00:25:48.59\00:25:50.69
Jesus says as My Father is in Me
00:25:50.72\00:25:52.09
and so I'm in My
father, so I and you and you
00:25:52.12\00:25:54.22
and I, tells us that John
14. It's an incredible thing.
00:25:54.25\00:25:57.49
He says I want to
give you the same thing
00:25:57.52\00:25:58.89
I had with my Father.
00:25:58.92\00:26:00.40
Jesus didn't do
anything on this earth.
00:26:00.43\00:26:02.62
He let the
Father work through Him.
00:26:02.65\00:26:04.23
The words that I
speak of my Father's,
00:26:04.26\00:26:05.99
the works that I do are
my Father's. Same with us.
00:26:06.02\00:26:09.34
But if we're gonna be,
00:26:09.37\00:26:10.74
if we're gonna be
holding ourselves up in churches
00:26:10.77\00:26:13.20
and say keep
ourselves in this paddock--
00:26:13.23\00:26:16.10
nothing's gonna happen
00:26:16.13\00:26:17.50
until we get out
there and mesh with,
00:26:17.53\00:26:20.07
become friends with them
that Jesus then can work,
00:26:20.10\00:26:23.09
He's gonna do the work
we don't have to bother
00:26:23.12\00:26:24.74
or worrying about that.
00:26:24.77\00:26:26.14
Yeah, and, you
know, it's amazing,
00:26:26.17\00:26:28.18
I recently had an experience,
because when we move to 3ABN,
00:26:28.21\00:26:32.30
you don't mean
to be a separatist,
00:26:32.33\00:26:33.70
but you can become,
00:26:33.73\00:26:35.10
because you just so
busy doing the Lord's work.
00:26:35.13\00:26:36.57
And J.D. and I went out
to dinner with some friends
00:26:36.60\00:26:39.87
and actually our
niece and all of a sudden
00:26:39.90\00:26:43.99
we realize there's a
whole another world out there
00:26:44.02\00:26:46.58
that we have just
almost tuned out and we realize
00:26:46.61\00:26:49.75
we've got to be able to
reach out more one-on-one,
00:26:49.78\00:26:54.27
you know, when we're not--
00:26:54.30\00:26:55.97
we can't keep thinking that
God's work is the big project,
00:26:56.00\00:26:59.38
we got to look at the
little projects as well.
00:26:59.41\00:27:01.36
Herb, our time
has gone way too fast.
00:27:01.39\00:27:04.18
And I just thank you
that you are here today
00:27:04.21\00:27:06.50
to tell us about
friendship evangelism
00:27:06.53\00:27:09.10
and remind us
how important it is.
00:27:09.13\00:27:10.88
You will come back? Yes I will.
00:27:10.91\00:27:13.27
Thank you so much.
00:27:13.30\00:27:14.67
And, you know, for
those of you at home,
00:27:14.70\00:27:16.67
remember that we are Jesus hands
00:27:16.70\00:27:19.47
and remember that God wants to--
00:27:19.50\00:27:22.67
we're supposed to
be reflecting His love,
00:27:22.70\00:27:25.48
His life, His
light, and His power.
00:27:25.51\00:27:28.84
And we can't reflect something
00:27:28.87\00:27:30.65
that if we're not
turned full face to Him,
00:27:30.68\00:27:33.05
the Sun of righteousness,
we can't reflect that love.
00:27:33.08\00:27:36.47
He's got to be inside of us
for Him to be poured out of us.
00:27:36.50\00:27:40.63
I thank you so
much for joining us.
00:27:40.66\00:27:42.44
Hope you really were stirred to
00:27:42.47\00:27:44.93
and inspired to think about
friendship evangelism today.
00:27:44.96\00:27:48.45
Now may the grace of
our Lord Jesus Christ,
00:27:48.48\00:27:51.22
the love of the Father
00:27:51.25\00:27:52.62
and the fellowship of
the Holy Spirit be with you.
00:27:52.65\00:27:54.63