Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn. 00:00:30.78\00:00:32.15 And welcome again to "Issues and Answers." 00:00:32.18\00:00:34.20 Today, our issue is how to make friends 00:00:34.23\00:00:38.14 with people in the world 00:00:38.17\00:00:39.64 that you might influence them for the glory of God. 00:00:39.67\00:00:43.77 And you know the Bible tells us in Matthew 4:4-- 00:00:43.80\00:00:46.19 Ah, excuse me, James 4:4. 00:00:46.22\00:00:48.47 James writes and he says, 00:00:48.50\00:00:50.47 "Friendship with the world is enmity toward God." 00:00:50.50\00:00:53.65 Does that mean that God doesn't want us to go out 00:00:53.68\00:00:56.31 and make friends among the world, I don't think so? 00:00:56.34\00:00:58.43 Listen to this, Paul writes in Philippians 2:15. 00:00:58.46\00:01:02.72 He's actually been telling them, 00:01:02.75\00:01:04.39 all the thing that they need to do to be pleasing to God. 00:01:04.42\00:01:08.72 But then he says, "Do all these things 00:01:08.75\00:01:11.12 that you may show yourselves 00:01:11.15\00:01:12.58 to be blameless, and guiltless, innocent, 00:01:12.61\00:01:15.60 and uncontaminated children of God." 00:01:15.63\00:01:17.99 Show to whom? To the world. 00:01:18.02\00:01:20.22 He says, "In the midst of a crooked 00:01:20.25\00:01:22.46 and wicked generation, among whom 00:01:22.49\00:01:25.24 you are seen as bright lights 00:01:25.27\00:01:28.47 (stars or beacons shining in the universe) 00:01:28.50\00:01:31.53 in this old dark world as you hold out the word of life." 00:01:31.56\00:01:35.96 Now if Christians only hang with Christians, 00:01:35.99\00:01:39.44 if we only associate with Christians, 00:01:39.47\00:01:42.29 how are we then holding out the word of life? 00:01:42.32\00:01:45.23 There's people in darkness. 00:01:45.26\00:01:46.94 And our guest today is going to tell us 00:01:46.97\00:01:49.65 that we need to expand our Spirit 00:01:49.68\00:01:52.64 to go into all the world and reach out for those people 00:01:52.67\00:01:57.04 who don't know Jesus 00:01:57.07\00:01:58.89 and share God's light in their life. 00:01:58.92\00:02:01.77 Let me introduce to you, 00:02:01.80\00:02:03.17 Herb Larsen, our friend here at 3ABN. 00:02:03.20\00:02:05.80 Canadian businessman, 00:02:05.83\00:02:07.25 actually international businessman, 00:02:07.28\00:02:08.84 I should say from Canada 00:02:08.87\00:02:10.35 and the president of Imagine Life Media. 00:02:10.38\00:02:14.10 Herb, God's called you to a unique ministry. 00:02:14.13\00:02:17.46 He has you ministering one-on-one to billionaires, 00:02:17.49\00:02:21.29 Hollywood people, people who are atheist, 00:02:21.32\00:02:26.18 but he has taught you in the midst of all of this 00:02:26.21\00:02:29.44 something very important 00:02:29.47\00:02:30.89 about developing friendship, hasn't He? 00:02:30.92\00:02:33.62 Well, that's right. 00:02:33.65\00:02:35.02 And what He has taught me-- 00:02:35.05\00:02:36.51 See here's the thing, as I came-- 00:02:36.54\00:02:38.14 I went to Christian school 00:02:38.17\00:02:39.54 from grade 1 through college. Okay. 00:02:39.57\00:02:41.53 Christian Schools of Holy. 00:02:41.56\00:02:42.93 When I came out of college, 00:02:42.96\00:02:44.33 I was separatist I hate to say that, 00:02:44.36\00:02:46.19 but I was separatist meaning-- 00:02:46.22\00:02:48.41 I couldn't interact with people of denominations 00:02:48.44\00:02:51.19 even forget about people of the world. 00:02:51.22\00:02:53.56 I was so used to be in sort of a cocoon. Yes. 00:02:53.59\00:02:56.64 That I didn't have any skills to interact with the world 00:02:56.67\00:03:01.29 and in college they didn't teach me something as basic as 00:03:01.32\00:03:04.14 how do you make friends with people of the world. 00:03:04.17\00:03:06.87 They didn't teach that in Harvard Business School. 00:03:06.90\00:03:08.56 And yet once I got out I'm in business 00:03:08.59\00:03:11.22 I recognize that the ability to make friendship 00:03:11.25\00:03:14.07 is absolutely paramount to being in business. 00:03:14.10\00:03:16.45 When I walk into the office of the CEO 00:03:16.48\00:03:18.50 of a major multinational multibillion dollar company, 00:03:18.53\00:03:22.27 I don't have time to spend, you know, two, three hours 00:03:22.30\00:03:25.54 trying to develop the friendship with that person. 00:03:25.57\00:03:27.31 I have to in three to four, five minutes 00:03:27.34\00:03:29.60 bond with that person by finding something in common with him 00:03:29.63\00:03:32.21 because my wears in my company, you know, provides 00:03:32.24\00:03:36.30 maybe something like somebody else has, 00:03:36.33\00:03:38.12 so I don't have time there, normal 00:03:38.15\00:03:40.13 he have the patience to listen 00:03:40.16\00:03:41.66 to why is my company better than somebody else's. 00:03:41.69\00:03:44.30 So what I have to do is bond with him, 00:03:44.33\00:03:46.54 so how do I do that. 00:03:46.57\00:03:48.29 I have to find something we have in common. 00:03:48.32\00:03:51.47 So I'll scanner on the office, 00:03:51.50\00:03:52.87 if I see a picture of a sails boat, 00:03:52.90\00:03:54.27 what am I gonna talk about. 00:03:54.30\00:03:55.91 Child wearing probably not, 00:03:55.94\00:03:58.01 but if there's children there in picture as well, 00:03:58.04\00:04:00.30 I will talk about, oh, how many kids you have 00:04:00.33\00:04:01.86 or whatever you get on a common ground. 00:04:01.89\00:04:03.53 If I see a baseball glove, I'm gonna talk about baseball. 00:04:03.56\00:04:06.60 And so it's absolutely paramount to success in life 00:04:06.63\00:04:10.67 to be able to make friendships 00:04:10.70\00:04:12.26 especially if you're in business, 00:04:12.29\00:04:13.66 but above all else, 00:04:13.69\00:04:15.54 if we are to be the light of the world, 00:04:15.57\00:04:18.19 if we are to interact with world. 00:04:18.22\00:04:20.33 When the Bible says "Go you therefore into all the world." 00:04:20.36\00:04:24.88 We're not gonna go out there 00:04:24.91\00:04:26.28 and try to get as far as we can and speak with a megaphone, 00:04:26.31\00:04:28.79 no, we're gonna have to get close to people 00:04:28.82\00:04:30.50 became friends, built trust, 00:04:30.53\00:04:32.96 because you see there's a mechanics to friendship. 00:04:32.99\00:04:35.03 Now you painted a good visual there, 00:04:35.06\00:04:37.62 because when you said about the megaphone 00:04:37.65\00:04:40.13 and trying to, you know, 00:04:40.16\00:04:41.68 you see people in the urban or metropolitan areas, 00:04:41.71\00:04:45.06 you may see somebody that standing out with the megaphone 00:04:45.09\00:04:47.86 and they're giving this message that 00:04:47.89\00:04:49.70 "You're all bound for hell." 00:04:49.73\00:04:51.14 And you see people going "Those crazy Christians." 00:04:51.17\00:04:53.58 And they go right around them and just pay no attention. 00:04:53.61\00:04:56.98 But what you're saying is that 00:04:57.01\00:04:59.35 in order for us to shine and stars in the universe, 00:04:59.38\00:05:03.54 we've got to have the example 00:05:03.57\00:05:05.75 that we're living out in our life. 00:05:05.78\00:05:08.13 But we've got to find 00:05:08.16\00:05:09.70 something in common with someone, 00:05:09.73\00:05:12.45 build a little bonding, a little relationship here 00:05:12.48\00:05:16.09 where they begin to trust you, 00:05:16.12\00:05:17.55 where they begin to think, hey, you are a nice person. 00:05:17.58\00:05:20.65 And so if you're meeting a strange person, 00:05:20.68\00:05:23.17 you a stranger, I should say, this necessary a strange person. 00:05:23.20\00:05:26.26 Tell me both, but yeah. 00:05:26.29\00:05:27.66 Both-- If you're meeting a stranger 00:05:27.69\00:05:30.39 and you want to influence them for Christ, 00:05:30.42\00:05:32.95 you're not going right up to them 00:05:32.98\00:05:34.35 and get in their face and saying, 00:05:34.38\00:05:36.30 "Hey, are you ready to meet your maker?" 00:05:36.33\00:05:38.58 Is that right? That's right, absolutely. 00:05:38.61\00:05:39.98 Because the thing is this unless you become friends 00:05:40.01\00:05:42.99 how else are you going to display your life? 00:05:43.02\00:05:45.80 And what is your life? 00:05:45.83\00:05:47.20 It is run by someone outside yourself, by God. Yes. 00:05:47.23\00:05:50.14 See unless we get-- unless we get near the people, 00:05:50.17\00:05:52.55 unless we get close to the people 00:05:52.58\00:05:53.99 through friendship, they won't be able to see that. 00:05:54.02\00:05:56.53 You know, if I walk down the street, 00:05:56.56\00:05:59.03 my gate doesn't give me away as a Christian, 00:05:59.06\00:06:01.84 my clothes may not give me away as a Christian. 00:06:01.87\00:06:05.19 What will say, there's something different about that person? 00:06:05.22\00:06:07.37 But I'll get close to somebody, 00:06:07.40\00:06:08.77 build a friendship and a relationship 00:06:08.80\00:06:10.17 with that person, 00:06:10.20\00:06:11.57 they get to firsthand see what drives my life, 00:06:11.60\00:06:14.43 they get to see why I have an advantage in life over them. 00:06:14.46\00:06:17.35 And it's because we're able to get close. 00:06:17.38\00:06:19.82 And see there's a real problem in organization 00:06:19.85\00:06:23.28 and this is, this can be church, it can be corporate. 00:06:23.31\00:06:26.99 And it's certainly not peculiar to one denomination, 00:06:27.02\00:06:30.81 because there's a cross the board. 00:06:30.84\00:06:32.21 For example, let's just look at the corporate end of things. 00:06:32.24\00:06:35.79 If you grew up in a environment 00:06:35.82\00:06:39.55 where you only associated with people 00:06:39.58\00:06:41.58 that you automatically have things in common 00:06:41.61\00:06:43.38 with the common denominator, 00:06:43.41\00:06:46.26 you're not gonna have to work to make friendships. 00:06:46.29\00:06:48.60 For example, if I work for a Boeing 00:06:48.63\00:06:50.44 or Microsoft or General Electric 00:06:50.47\00:06:52.50 or any other number of huge corporations around the world 00:06:52.53\00:06:55.76 that have offices all over the world. 00:06:55.79\00:06:57.65 If everyday I go and work with those people 00:06:57.68\00:07:00.97 and then I travel for that company 00:07:01.00\00:07:02.56 and I meet other offices for that company. 00:07:02.59\00:07:04.41 When I walk in an office, say, I'm working for Boeing, 00:07:04.44\00:07:06.50 I walk in an office and some are there says in Europe. 00:07:06.53\00:07:09.65 And a Boeing representative picks me up. I'm from Boeing. 00:07:09.68\00:07:12.20 I'm here to pick you up in the Limozeen, blah-blah-blah. 00:07:12.23\00:07:14.77 I don't have to work to make friendships, 00:07:14.80\00:07:16.21 we have a common denominator. 00:07:16.24\00:07:17.61 'Cause see friendships have to have a common denominator, 00:07:17.64\00:07:20.69 something we share in common to built. 00:07:20.72\00:07:23.22 And if I'm just hanging around Boeing people only all the time, 00:07:23.25\00:07:26.38 I don't have to work to make friends. 00:07:26.41\00:07:28.12 You know, what you're saying is remind me of that. 00:07:28.15\00:07:30.51 I tell people when I travel, 00:07:30.54\00:07:32.16 the nice thing about being an Adventist, 00:07:32.19\00:07:33.84 you know, I'm going to several different churches a month. 00:07:33.87\00:07:36.74 But you have built in family wherever you go, 00:07:36.77\00:07:39.31 you don't have to work at this, 00:07:39.34\00:07:40.87 because we do have so much in common, 00:07:40.90\00:07:42.97 if I go to do a retreat or a revival series. Absolutely. 00:07:43.00\00:07:45.45 It's just like there's automatically 00:07:45.48\00:07:47.49 that there's nothing that you have to work for, 00:07:47.52\00:07:49.18 so there is this trust 00:07:49.21\00:07:51.07 and relationship that's kind of built in, 00:07:51.10\00:07:53.89 because of common denominators. 00:07:53.92\00:07:56.01 Absolutely. 00:07:56.04\00:07:57.76 And that is wonderful, it's comforting, 00:07:57.79\00:08:01.00 and I think God instituted the ability of, 00:08:01.03\00:08:03.84 you know, group organization. What it does? 00:08:03.87\00:08:08.15 It tense to be detrimental simply 00:08:08.18\00:08:10.38 because if you become a separatist like I was 00:08:10.41\00:08:14.82 coming out of college, 00:08:14.85\00:08:16.84 it not only debilitated me in business, 00:08:16.87\00:08:18.66 it also debilitated me in ability 00:08:18.69\00:08:20.78 to lead people to Christ and to get close to them. 00:08:20.81\00:08:23.99 And so I had to overcome that 00:08:24.02\00:08:27.72 and, you know, God works in mysterious ways. 00:08:27.75\00:08:31.42 So here I am, I'm having a hard time 00:08:31.45\00:08:33.37 meshing with the world and I'm in business. 00:08:33.40\00:08:36.22 So I don't go associate with those people 00:08:36.25\00:08:39.82 and so therefore they can't get to know me 00:08:39.85\00:08:41.47 as a person as he trustworthy, 00:08:41.50\00:08:43.89 'cause we want to business somebody who is trustworthy, 00:08:43.92\00:08:45.29 so those are all important things. 00:08:45.32\00:08:48.26 But what I found most is 00:08:48.29\00:08:50.58 I just had a terrible time interacting with people 00:08:50.61\00:08:52.88 that I didn't have the built in common denominator with. 00:08:52.91\00:08:55.58 And so what God did with me, 00:08:55.61\00:08:56.98 and this probably seems haywire. 00:08:57.01\00:08:58.38 But I'm a preacher's kid 00:08:58.41\00:09:01.31 that means my mother is a pastor's wife obviously. 00:09:01.34\00:09:03.88 But my mother when I was in college 00:09:03.91\00:09:05.38 she pushed my brothers and I into music, art, 00:09:05.41\00:09:08.29 and all the different creative things growing up. 00:09:08.32\00:09:10.28 And so in college though 00:09:10.31\00:09:11.68 she picked on another one for me to get involved. 00:09:11.71\00:09:13.20 And she said, "What do you learn how to engrave guns?" 00:09:13.23\00:09:14.87 Now that doesn't sound like a very Christian thing 00:09:14.90\00:09:16.27 to do to engrave guns. 00:09:16.30\00:09:18.00 That's where you take chisel and hammer 00:09:18.03\00:09:19.85 and chisel the steel and the gun, 00:09:19.88\00:09:21.28 you lay gold, silver, and platinum-- 00:09:21.31\00:09:23.79 So I got into that at my mom's request. 00:09:23.82\00:09:26.96 And I found a master and study that 00:09:26.99\00:09:28.60 and gotten all the magazines gun, 00:09:28.63\00:09:30.00 digest guns and--everything. 00:09:30.03\00:09:31.52 Anyway as I thought, "Well, 00:09:31.55\00:09:32.92 where is this going as the Christian?" 00:09:32.95\00:09:34.33 Well, anyways after out of the college, 00:09:34.36\00:09:36.54 'cause I started studying gun engrave it college, 00:09:36.57\00:09:38.88 independent of college. 00:09:38.91\00:09:40.72 And what happened is 00:09:40.75\00:09:42.85 I got invited to engrave high end gun 00:09:42.88\00:09:45.93 that ultimately across $30,000 00:09:45.96\00:09:48.18 to build engrave and everything else. 00:09:48.21\00:09:49.97 Well, it turned out, 00:09:50.00\00:09:51.37 I didn't know who the owner was of the gun, 00:09:51.40\00:09:52.80 I only know the gun maker, famous gun maker. 00:09:52.83\00:09:56.38 So I did all the work. 00:09:56.41\00:09:58.06 Turns out to invite to me to the party, 00:09:58.09\00:10:00.43 you know, an unveiling party where you open box up 00:10:00.46\00:10:02.76 and all the friends are there. Right. 00:10:02.79\00:10:04.16 Well, when I went to attend this, 00:10:04.19\00:10:06.69 you know, unveiling of this incredible gun, 00:10:06.72\00:10:09.11 it wound up that it was Hele's Angels, 00:10:09.14\00:10:11.58 it was the president of the Hele's Angels for our province, 00:10:11.61\00:10:15.07 who had commissioned the gun of the gun maker. Right. 00:10:15.10\00:10:18.01 So here I am standing around 50 Hele's Angels 00:10:18.04\00:10:21.68 guys, all they're collars and everything else. 00:10:21.71\00:10:24.19 Well, you know, as a separatist that was a huge shock. I'm sure. 00:10:24.22\00:10:29.89 I want to tell you it was--it was like 00:10:29.92\00:10:32.13 I was in another world for awhile, 00:10:32.16\00:10:33.86 just I mean, it's like I couldn't believe I was there. 00:10:33.89\00:10:36.37 Make a long story short, they like my work 00:10:36.40\00:10:39.56 and before it's all over, they were all perusing me. 00:10:39.59\00:10:44.31 And before along, I was going and tying flies, 00:10:44.34\00:10:47.39 you know, like, I like to fly fish once in awhile. 00:10:47.42\00:10:49.76 And so I was tying flies with these guys, interacting 00:10:49.79\00:10:52.62 and I wasn't going there to be permanent Hele's Angel 00:10:52.65\00:10:54.43 I wasn't going there do anything else. 00:10:54.46\00:10:55.83 But what it did for me is it, it shocked me under reality 00:10:55.86\00:10:59.48 that God needs me everywhere. 00:10:59.51\00:11:04.65 And, you know, I'm sitting and thinking 00:11:04.68\00:11:07.43 when we think back on Jesus life, 00:11:07.46\00:11:09.89 if He had been a separatist 00:11:09.92\00:11:12.81 or He did not go outside to reach, of course, now 00:11:12.84\00:11:16.15 He said He was sent to the lost sheep of Israel. 00:11:16.18\00:11:20.25 Absolutely. 00:11:20.28\00:11:21.65 But the lost sheep of Israel were a mess. 00:11:21.68\00:11:26.13 I mean, they may have had a little something in common, 00:11:26.16\00:11:28.15 but they were a mess 00:11:28.18\00:11:29.91 and he was accused as you have often said 00:11:29.94\00:11:32.34 in conversation of being winebibber and in drunker. 00:11:32.37\00:11:35.28 He associated with people 00:11:35.31\00:11:37.03 that were not "Religious people." 00:11:37.06\00:11:44.44 How do you when you are associating 00:11:44.47\00:11:47.05 with someone like this? 00:11:47.08\00:11:48.68 How do you interact with them once they-- 00:11:48.71\00:11:51.42 I mean, how long does it take you 00:11:51.45\00:11:52.82 once it get to kind of know you then do you bring up the Lord 00:11:52.85\00:11:55.46 or you let Him know right off the back, 00:11:55.49\00:11:57.04 you are a Christian? 00:11:57.07\00:11:58.44 How do you bond with Him 00:11:58.47\00:11:59.88 in an area that's has commonality 00:11:59.91\00:12:02.40 and yet let them know, 00:12:02.43\00:12:03.98 "Hey, there's a difference between you and me? 00:12:04.01\00:12:06.62 So you could find common ground in five minutes. Okay. 00:12:06.65\00:12:09.96 And of course, once you have common ground 00:12:09.99\00:12:12.12 you have something to work with. Okay. 00:12:12.15\00:12:14.57 And from that point, very quickly 00:12:14.60\00:12:16.55 I get into sharing what I'm all about, 00:12:16.58\00:12:17.95 I never tell people what they have to do, 00:12:17.98\00:12:19.35 but this is all part of the friendship thing. 00:12:19.38\00:12:20.81 I want them to understand 00:12:20.84\00:12:22.82 that I'm worthy to be a friend of them, 00:12:22.85\00:12:24.22 even though there's seems like nothing in common 00:12:24.25\00:12:26.09 in terms you're religious and I'm not. 00:12:26.12\00:12:28.57 I want them to understand where I'm coming from, 00:12:28.60\00:12:30.46 but at the same time I want them to see that 00:12:30.49\00:12:33.00 that I can relate to them. 00:12:33.03\00:12:35.39 All right, so let's say that I'm an atheist. Okay. 00:12:35.42\00:12:37.64 And you've met me on an airplane. 00:12:37.67\00:12:40.13 And you find something, I'm reading a book 00:12:40.16\00:12:42.28 that you look over and say, 00:12:42.31\00:12:43.68 "Oh, I've heard of this author." 00:12:43.71\00:12:45.08 And you start some little conversation with me. 00:12:45.11\00:12:48.51 How are we going to? 00:12:48.54\00:12:49.91 And we're gonna do a program with you on witnessing. 00:12:49.94\00:12:51.80 So I--maybe jumping the gun a little bit. 00:12:51.83\00:12:54.12 But how are you going to develop 00:12:54.15\00:12:56.45 this friendship with me 00:12:56.48\00:12:58.95 when we've got nothing in common? 00:12:58.98\00:13:02.94 Okay, well, the first thing I would do in a situation 00:13:02.97\00:13:04.81 which I do every time on a airplane. 00:13:04.84\00:13:07.12 I see so where you headed, 00:13:07.15\00:13:08.88 what do you up to, I'm Mr. 20 Questions. 00:13:08.91\00:13:10.67 My wife's family, they call me, Mr. 20 Questions, 00:13:10.70\00:13:13.67 'cause I guess, you know, 00:13:13.70\00:13:15.12 I got too much curiosity for my own good. 00:13:15.15\00:13:16.89 But anyways I could ask to them, 00:13:16.92\00:13:18.56 you know, what you do, you know, where you going, 00:13:18.59\00:13:20.54 what you doing, all that kind of stuff. So once I find out. 00:13:20.57\00:13:22.13 Oh, and I start talking about their occupation. 00:13:22.16\00:13:24.18 Well, who doesn't want to talk about themselves? 00:13:24.21\00:13:26.12 See here's where they trust works. 00:13:26.15\00:13:28.13 I give you a little bit, and you could either tramp on, 00:13:28.16\00:13:30.74 you know, like I tell you little bit on myself 00:13:30.77\00:13:32.17 and you could either tramp on that or say 00:13:32.20\00:13:33.64 "Oh, that's wonderful what else about you?" 00:13:33.67\00:13:36.25 And that's how you build trust. 00:13:36.28\00:13:37.65 You gave a little and I can trust you 00:13:37.68\00:13:41.45 with that little I gave you 00:13:41.48\00:13:42.85 and then give little more, little more. 00:13:42.88\00:13:44.25 So when you get talking, I don't start talking about myself. 00:13:44.28\00:13:46.71 I used to talking about-- 00:13:46.74\00:13:48.11 I'm finding common ground with them, 00:13:48.14\00:13:49.77 because I'm the one with the agenda, 00:13:49.80\00:13:52.01 I want to see them in the kingdom of heaven. 00:13:52.04\00:13:55.16 And so, of course, I also want to get to know these people. 00:13:55.19\00:13:59.50 So I get chat them up that way and find out what they are, 00:13:59.53\00:14:01.97 so we get this conversation going. 00:14:02.00\00:14:03.85 Then when they start to ask me. 00:14:03.88\00:14:06.38 "Oh, you know what you do?" 00:14:06.41\00:14:07.78 Of course that will come around. 00:14:07.81\00:14:09.24 Oh, I'm a businessman-- Not always, 00:14:09.27\00:14:10.64 'cause I try this so often 00:14:10.67\00:14:12.04 and sometimes you get somebody talking 00:14:12.07\00:14:13.90 on a plane for 10 minutes 00:14:13.93\00:14:15.65 and then they'd never-- you know you're sitting there, 00:14:15.68\00:14:17.46 waiting for them to ask you 00:14:17.49\00:14:18.86 and then they pickup their book and start doing this. 00:14:18.89\00:14:21.18 Yeah, well, that happens 00:14:21.21\00:14:22.61 once in a while, that's a sad moment, 00:14:22.64\00:14:24.01 you know, when you got to go the whole flight 00:14:24.04\00:14:25.41 without social interaction whatever. 00:14:25.44\00:14:27.66 Yeah, so they get asking me and so then I start sharing, 00:14:27.69\00:14:31.32 you know, I'm a businessman. Oh, what do you do? 00:14:31.35\00:14:33.37 So, you know, business, so I tell them. 00:14:33.40\00:14:35.45 But then the perfect thing about that is they want to know, 00:14:35.48\00:14:37.98 okay, what about your business everything else. 00:14:38.01\00:14:39.65 And I say, you know, that's all relevant, 00:14:39.68\00:14:41.39 that used to be relevant to me, 00:14:41.42\00:14:42.79 like I used to have my business to make money. 00:14:42.82\00:14:46.16 And I say, but, you know, 00:14:46.19\00:14:47.56 my life was never that fulfilling, 00:14:47.59\00:14:49.09 even though I made money, 00:14:49.12\00:14:50.49 you know, and even though I had success, 00:14:50.52\00:14:51.89 and even though all those things came together, 00:14:51.92\00:14:53.79 it was empty for me. 00:14:53.82\00:14:55.19 Oh, so you make a switch right over to-- 00:14:55.22\00:14:56.94 Oh, wait, wait I said-- To develop this friendship 00:14:56.97\00:14:59.02 and we are getting into it witnessing 00:14:59.05\00:15:00.42 but that that's fine to develop this friendship 00:15:00.45\00:15:03.41 with total stranger 00:15:03.44\00:15:04.81 and one that probably the nonbeliever, 00:15:04.84\00:15:07.29 you get right away from talking about them 00:15:07.32\00:15:10.88 to what they're asking you 00:15:10.91\00:15:12.63 and that gives you permission to share your story. Absolutely. 00:15:12.66\00:15:14.98 And then you just crack right into that testimony. 00:15:15.01\00:15:19.70 I'm move into what my life was like before, 00:15:19.73\00:15:21.64 because I know they're gonna relate to it, 00:15:21.67\00:15:23.04 they have to, that's the way the world is, 00:15:23.07\00:15:25.10 Blaise Pascal in 1500s that all figured out. 00:15:25.13\00:15:27.82 There's a God shaped vacuum in every man. Yeah. 00:15:27.85\00:15:31.40 And so that's how friendships work. 00:15:31.43\00:15:33.68 And you begin to develop this common ground 00:15:33.71\00:15:36.83 and you begin to hangout. 00:15:36.86\00:15:38.23 And then they'll listen to you, but see the only way 00:15:38.26\00:15:40.95 they're ever gonna want Jesus is if they see it in you. 00:15:40.98\00:15:44.60 See here's the thing that we have to always keep in mind 00:15:44.63\00:15:47.77 and I bring this up all the time 00:15:47.80\00:15:49.17 doesn't matter what subject it is almost. 00:15:49.20\00:15:50.57 But the world doesn't care, 00:15:50.60\00:15:53.45 they could careless what we know. Absolutely. 00:15:53.48\00:15:56.88 The world wants to know what do we have. Right. 00:15:56.91\00:15:59.95 That's the difference. 00:15:59.98\00:16:01.42 And friendships allow us to spend time with them 00:16:01.45\00:16:04.86 so that they can see what we have. 00:16:04.89\00:16:07.04 And when you're talking about what we have, 00:16:07.07\00:16:08.65 you're talking about what's in here, 00:16:08.68\00:16:10.34 what's up here, what's our belief system, 00:16:10.37\00:16:12.56 what's the advantage of our belief system. Absolutely. 00:16:12.59\00:16:15.74 And people see that contentment. Okay. 00:16:15.77\00:16:17.97 You see lots of things in the world. 00:16:18.00\00:16:19.98 But so how do you build the friendship? 00:16:20.01\00:16:21.84 How does the Christian who is the separatist at this point, 00:16:21.87\00:16:25.06 because they've always been in the realm 00:16:25.09\00:16:26.91 of commonality with people, 00:16:26.94\00:16:28.36 how do he went out from there. 00:16:28.39\00:16:29.76 Hey, you know, and let me take, 00:16:29.79\00:16:31.48 I'm gonna grab back a real in my little example 00:16:31.51\00:16:34.78 of the man on the plane, because that's gonna-- 00:16:34.81\00:16:37.49 I'm gonna save you for our next program together. 00:16:37.52\00:16:39.72 But let me take at this direction. 00:16:39.75\00:16:42.15 When you're saying, how did we do this? 00:16:42.18\00:16:43.82 Let's say, it's my next door neighbor. 00:16:43.85\00:16:45.27 A lot of people don't even know 00:16:45.30\00:16:46.67 their next door neighbors. It's true. 00:16:46.70\00:16:48.07 And a lot of people come home. 00:16:48.10\00:16:49.66 I had a neighbor a number of years ago 00:16:49.69\00:16:52.31 that when we moved into a new home, 00:16:52.34\00:16:53.71 I only had one neighbor. 00:16:53.74\00:16:55.45 And when we moved in there, 00:16:55.48\00:16:58.11 the husband came over to let me know right away. 00:16:58.14\00:17:00.68 My wife is a high school teacher, 00:17:00.71\00:17:04.19 when she comes home from work, 00:17:04.22\00:17:05.86 she wants to watch her so purpose that she's recorded 00:17:05.89\00:17:11.32 and drink a glass of wine 00:17:11.35\00:17:12.72 and she doesn't want anyone to come over and visit, 00:17:12.75\00:17:15.02 so I'm letting you know that right up front. 00:17:15.05\00:17:18.05 Okay, how do you make friends with the next door neighbor, 00:17:18.08\00:17:21.15 they're not believers, 00:17:21.18\00:17:22.79 who really don't seem to have a lot of interest 00:17:22.82\00:17:25.54 in developing a friendship with you? 00:17:25.57\00:17:27.45 Well, see neighbors are relatively easy, 00:17:27.48\00:17:29.81 because you have more than one crack at it, 00:17:29.84\00:17:31.59 you know, I mean, walking into a business meeting 00:17:31.62\00:17:34.51 and you can't make it or break it there. 00:17:34.54\00:17:36.00 You have two to five minutes that's it. 00:17:36.03\00:17:37.91 But the neighbor there again you find something common. 00:17:37.94\00:17:40.27 You know, if they're clipping dandelions, 00:17:40.30\00:17:42.28 if they happen to, you know, we're doing that 00:17:42.31\00:17:44.42 well, you go talk about, oh, these weeds, 00:17:44.45\00:17:46.03 you know, I mean I wonder who's yard, 00:17:46.06\00:17:47.43 whatever you joke around and you get on the same topic 00:17:47.46\00:17:50.39 that you're sharing something in common 00:17:50.42\00:17:52.48 or it could be that, you know, some other neighbors 00:17:52.51\00:17:55.69 is never mows their lawn or whatever, I mean, 00:17:55.72\00:17:57.40 of course, you don't have to be negative, 00:17:57.43\00:17:58.80 but the point is that you find something 00:17:58.83\00:18:00.20 that you haven't common with those neighbors. 00:18:00.23\00:18:02.68 And you begin to talk about a thing you have in common 00:18:02.71\00:18:04.94 that's what builds friendships. 00:18:04.97\00:18:06.34 See, you are the one going out of your way 00:18:06.37\00:18:08.26 to make the friendship. 00:18:08.29\00:18:09.66 If you remain a separatist, you're expecting the world 00:18:09.69\00:18:11.97 to go out of its way to come to you. Yeah. 00:18:12.00\00:18:14.51 But the difference is, is we are to go into the world 00:18:14.54\00:18:18.20 and, you know, not necessarily mesh to the point 00:18:18.23\00:18:20.61 where the world is going to lead us astray, 00:18:20.64\00:18:22.73 but we are to go into the world to be God's representatives. 00:18:22.76\00:18:25.98 And friendship evangelism is the number one way, 00:18:26.01\00:18:28.92 it's to get out there, bond with people, 00:18:28.95\00:18:32.13 let them see what we're all about 00:18:32.16\00:18:33.84 and don't have this agenda 00:18:33.87\00:18:35.24 where if they don't come to the church 00:18:35.27\00:18:37.17 or don't even invite them at first that's the point. 00:18:37.20\00:18:39.51 You've got to build this friendship, 00:18:39.54\00:18:40.91 you've got to let them see what you're all about, 00:18:40.94\00:18:42.90 and if they can't see anything maybe you better go find Jesus. 00:18:42.93\00:18:47.05 So you're not saying go out and just befriend them 00:18:47.08\00:18:50.30 and not talk about your experience with Jesus. 00:18:50.33\00:18:53.31 Oh, no-- You're saying, 00:18:53.34\00:18:54.71 you're not going out there trying to-- 00:18:54.74\00:18:57.51 how can I say this? 00:18:57.54\00:18:59.06 Jesus like the woman at the well. Yeah. 00:18:59.09\00:19:01.40 He didn't look at her and say, 00:19:01.43\00:19:03.04 "Hey, you're gonna go to the wrong place right away, 00:19:03.07\00:19:06.37 if you don't change your life." That's right. 00:19:06.40\00:19:07.78 He developed that-- He bonded with her. 00:19:07.81\00:19:10.96 And then He let her see His love 00:19:10.99\00:19:14.21 then He really began to manifest Himself 00:19:14.24\00:19:16.46 to her who He was. That's right. 00:19:16.49\00:19:18.20 So that's the type of approach you're talking about 00:19:18.23\00:19:20.96 with that neighbor that maybe difficult, 00:19:20.99\00:19:22.75 you could takeover a loaf of bread, 00:19:22.78\00:19:24.21 maybe home baked bread or you could mow the neighbor 00:19:24.24\00:19:27.14 that's really difficult that never mows their lawn, 00:19:27.17\00:19:29.02 maybe you out to mow their lawn for them or something. 00:19:29.05\00:19:31.01 But you're saying, let Jesus shine out 00:19:31.04\00:19:33.39 and you're not trying to go up to them 00:19:33.42\00:19:36.15 and change their life overnight. 00:19:36.18\00:19:38.32 But you are allowing by your example 00:19:38.35\00:19:42.14 to let the Lord shine through you 00:19:42.17\00:19:45.64 and let him woo them, say, hey, they've got 00:19:45.67\00:19:48.75 something that I want. Well, that's right. 00:19:48.78\00:19:52.26 Unless you are in front of people 00:19:52.29\00:19:54.92 in a close enough way 00:19:54.95\00:19:56.82 where they can see what you have, 00:19:56.85\00:19:59.23 you're not gonna build a reveal what it is they're missing. 00:19:59.26\00:20:03.95 See the whole world has an emptiness, ovoid-- 00:20:03.98\00:20:05.89 I mean, we know there's couple of things 00:20:05.92\00:20:07.29 taken place right now with all the disasters in the world, 00:20:07.32\00:20:09.77 I mean, the world is desperate. Yes. 00:20:09.80\00:20:11.60 That world is desperate for answers-- 00:20:11.63\00:20:13.30 they're desperate for anything relevant in life. 00:20:13.33\00:20:15.92 And when they come along and see that 00:20:15.95\00:20:17.69 you're contented with your life, 00:20:17.72\00:20:19.09 if I meet you, if I'm the atheist and I be-- 00:20:19.12\00:20:21.06 you know, and you've come into my world and befriended me. 00:20:21.09\00:20:25.61 And I can see you're contempt, 00:20:25.64\00:20:27.02 you know, you don't seem to worry. 00:20:27.05\00:20:29.84 I'm sure not life is that perfect, 00:20:29.87\00:20:31.24 but at the same time you have this power-- 00:20:31.27\00:20:33.08 We will hope that's what they do see. 00:20:33.11\00:20:34.48 Right. That's right. 00:20:34.51\00:20:36.32 But you have this power about you 00:20:36.35\00:20:38.44 that only when they're close enough 00:20:38.47\00:20:40.33 will they see that. Yeah. 00:20:40.36\00:20:41.73 And that's what and of course, what did Jesus do. 00:20:41.76\00:20:44.66 He could be friends with kids, 00:20:44.69\00:20:47.58 He could be friends with lowest in society, 00:20:47.61\00:20:50.00 He could be friends with the most broken in society. Yes. 00:20:50.03\00:20:53.93 He had this incredible ability and it wasn't his looks, 00:20:53.96\00:20:57.62 I mean, Isaiah 53 tells us, 00:20:57.65\00:20:59.72 He wasn't this, you know, good looking guy that was, 00:20:59.75\00:21:02.57 "Oh, yeah, of course, I want to be friends with Him. 00:21:02.60\00:21:04.44 He didn't come with any advantages, 00:21:04.47\00:21:06.24 so what was it? 00:21:06.27\00:21:08.21 He had the ability to bond at their level. 00:21:08.24\00:21:11.24 Just like Paul in 1 Corinthians 9, 00:21:11.27\00:21:13.21 He says, I became as this person and as that person. 00:21:13.24\00:21:17.79 So that He didn't become them. 00:21:17.82\00:21:20.67 He didn't become a sitter, He became as-- 00:21:20.70\00:21:22.68 in other words He got into their world 00:21:22.71\00:21:25.41 so that He could meet them. 00:21:25.44\00:21:26.81 And because too His motivation were so totally unselfish, 00:21:26.84\00:21:29.59 I mean, He was there knowing 00:21:29.62\00:21:31.86 that He wanted to make an impact 00:21:31.89\00:21:33.61 for their eternal benefit, for their eternal life. 00:21:33.64\00:21:36.47 So it was this total unselfishness about Him 00:21:36.50\00:21:39.90 that I'm sure had to have, you know. 00:21:39.93\00:21:41.92 Because most people that you meet 00:21:41.95\00:21:43.83 you'll find in a little short time, 00:21:43.86\00:21:45.45 they've got an agenda, 00:21:45.48\00:21:46.93 you know, they're wanting something 00:21:46.96\00:21:48.33 a lot of times, I'm sad to say, 00:21:48.36\00:21:50.39 but a lot of times when people are trying to befriend you, 00:21:50.42\00:21:53.49 it's that they see something you have that they want, 00:21:53.52\00:21:57.23 but it's usually influence or it's this that and the other. 00:21:57.26\00:22:00.04 It's so rare when someone comes 00:22:00.07\00:22:02.46 and they're not trying to get something from you, 00:22:02.49\00:22:04.47 but rather to give to you. 00:22:04.50\00:22:06.71 So it must have been wonderful 00:22:06.74\00:22:08.53 when-- I mean I can't imagine 00:22:08.56\00:22:09.93 what it would be like to be face to face 00:22:09.96\00:22:11.73 with Jesus in the flesh 00:22:11.76\00:22:13.61 and He is wanting to, just be a benefit to you. That's right. 00:22:13.64\00:22:19.45 That's friendship evangelism though. 00:22:19.48\00:22:21.16 And we are Jesus in the flesh when you think about it. 00:22:21.19\00:22:23.86 I mean-- We're His hands, His feet and His heart. Yeah. 00:22:23.89\00:22:27.05 We are the temple of the Holy Spirit. 00:22:27.08\00:22:29.37 So your friendship evangelism, this whole concept it makes it, 00:22:29.40\00:22:35.87 you know, if you've got someone that you're going along with 00:22:35.90\00:22:38.84 and maybe you begin to do a Bible study 00:22:38.87\00:22:40.96 or sure Bible studies with them which I know you do. 00:22:40.99\00:22:44.29 And then eventually at some point 00:22:44.32\00:22:46.78 they're ready to come to your church. 00:22:46.81\00:22:49.52 You know-- That's right. 00:22:49.55\00:22:50.92 But they would never be ready to come to your church 00:22:50.95\00:22:52.32 unless they fully trusted you and fully understood 00:22:52.35\00:22:55.04 that you have something they need. Yeah. 00:22:55.07\00:22:57.70 But see, see if you try to do this mechanically 00:22:57.73\00:23:00.47 in terms of making the transition 00:23:00.50\00:23:02.30 from a friendship to explaining Jesus, 00:23:02.33\00:23:05.60 it doesn't work I'm sorry to say that. 00:23:05.63\00:23:07.91 If you don't have Jesus dwelling in you, 00:23:07.94\00:23:09.70 if you don't have a personal relationship with Him, 00:23:09.73\00:23:12.56 there's gonna be nothing you can say out of the Bible, 00:23:12.59\00:23:15.25 you can't pair it enough scriptures to win people over. 00:23:15.28\00:23:18.34 It's your life, it's my life that makes the difference, 00:23:18.37\00:23:21.68 makes the impact. 00:23:21.71\00:23:23.08 And it's your loving heart, 00:23:23.11\00:23:25.28 it's what your life is all about that they sense. 00:23:25.31\00:23:28.16 It's not really you at that point. 00:23:28.19\00:23:29.60 It's the Holy Spirit through you. Amen. 00:23:29.63\00:23:32.19 And don't think the Holy Spirit 00:23:32.22\00:23:33.64 can't use you as the silver platter 00:23:33.67\00:23:35.76 to enter other people's life. 00:23:35.79\00:23:37.86 And so the friendship is the platter, 00:23:37.89\00:23:41.24 it is that thing that just says here that it's yours. 00:23:41.27\00:23:45.03 Let's explain that a little bit, 'cause what I'm taking 00:23:45.06\00:23:47.16 when you say that another great visual, Herb, 00:23:47.19\00:23:49.10 you good at that is that. 00:23:49.13\00:23:51.37 The Holy Spirit's using me as a silver platter 00:23:51.40\00:23:53.23 that means He uses me to dish it up to range it-- 00:23:53.26\00:23:58.10 You are the platter on which-- 00:23:58.13\00:23:59.50 I'm the platter and He's putting all of these wonderful things 00:23:59.53\00:24:02.51 that He is offering to somebody there's a banquet 00:24:02.54\00:24:04.85 and kind of to say tasting seed 00:24:04.88\00:24:06.90 that the Lord is good, right? Absolutely. 00:24:06.93\00:24:09.08 And you are the platter. Yeah, that's good. 00:24:09.11\00:24:11.10 And we could be astonished the old thing 00:24:11.13\00:24:12.91 that I wouldn't want to eat anything of that, 00:24:12.94\00:24:15.71 you know, but and we could be trying to dish up something that 00:24:15.74\00:24:18.35 that doesn't even look appetizing. 00:24:18.38\00:24:19.75 But no, God's different, He takes your life and He says. 00:24:19.78\00:24:22.25 Shines you up. 00:24:22.28\00:24:23.76 And it's all, He polishes it up 00:24:23.79\00:24:25.19 and He puts His beautiful things. 00:24:25.22\00:24:27.37 I will fill your heart with love, 00:24:27.40\00:24:29.65 I will touch you, and I will give you contentment. 00:24:29.68\00:24:32.87 And as people taste 00:24:32.90\00:24:34.65 and they take up these orders of you, of the platter, 00:24:34.68\00:24:37.09 'cause it's coming through you, you are the conduit. 00:24:37.12\00:24:40.25 And so all of the sudden, they begin to say, 00:24:40.28\00:24:42.79 yeah, this is something. 00:24:42.82\00:24:44.92 Now I begin to see what you have 00:24:44.95\00:24:46.74 that so different about you. 00:24:46.77\00:24:48.82 And that's the thrill of it all. Yeah. 00:24:48.85\00:24:52.77 You know, Proverb says 00:24:52.80\00:24:54.17 to have a friend you must be a friend. Absolutely. 00:24:54.20\00:24:56.36 And there's a lot of people that have probably watching, 00:24:56.39\00:24:59.25 who--you maybe saying I don't have any friends. 00:24:59.28\00:25:01.48 And it's difficult, you know, 00:25:01.51\00:25:03.95 I have a tendency, this is interesting. 00:25:03.98\00:25:05.93 I can stand in front of 15,000 people 00:25:05.96\00:25:08.43 and speak, my knees won't knock. 00:25:08.46\00:25:11.18 If I go into a situation where I don't have 00:25:11.21\00:25:15.04 that support system of the common, 00:25:15.07\00:25:17.40 you know, if I'm just out at convention 00:25:17.43\00:25:19.71 where I don't know anyone 00:25:19.74\00:25:21.11 and I don't have something in common with them. 00:25:21.14\00:25:22.93 I have a tendency to be a little wallflower 00:25:22.96\00:25:25.18 till I at least bond with one person 00:25:25.21\00:25:26.77 then I can blossom. 00:25:26.80\00:25:28.21 But what we've got to look at is 00:25:28.24\00:25:30.58 the ability to shine for Jesus 00:25:30.61\00:25:33.77 it's got to be something that's coming out of us 00:25:33.80\00:25:36.94 that we are just sharing 00:25:36.97\00:25:39.30 our experience with the Lord. Absolutely. 00:25:39.33\00:25:41.45 And friendship becomes the platform. Yeah. 00:25:41.48\00:25:44.58 It becomes the means from Jesus to do the work. 00:25:44.61\00:25:48.56 But the thing is this that's what He did. 00:25:48.59\00:25:50.69 Jesus says as My Father is in Me 00:25:50.72\00:25:52.09 and so I'm in My father, so I and you and you 00:25:52.12\00:25:54.22 and I, tells us that John 14. It's an incredible thing. 00:25:54.25\00:25:57.49 He says I want to give you the same thing 00:25:57.52\00:25:58.89 I had with my Father. 00:25:58.92\00:26:00.40 Jesus didn't do anything on this earth. 00:26:00.43\00:26:02.62 He let the Father work through Him. 00:26:02.65\00:26:04.23 The words that I speak of my Father's, 00:26:04.26\00:26:05.99 the works that I do are my Father's. Same with us. 00:26:06.02\00:26:09.34 But if we're gonna be, 00:26:09.37\00:26:10.74 if we're gonna be holding ourselves up in churches 00:26:10.77\00:26:13.20 and say keep ourselves in this paddock-- 00:26:13.23\00:26:16.10 nothing's gonna happen 00:26:16.13\00:26:17.50 until we get out there and mesh with, 00:26:17.53\00:26:20.07 become friends with them that Jesus then can work, 00:26:20.10\00:26:23.09 He's gonna do the work we don't have to bother 00:26:23.12\00:26:24.74 or worrying about that. 00:26:24.77\00:26:26.14 Yeah, and, you know, it's amazing, 00:26:26.17\00:26:28.18 I recently had an experience, because when we move to 3ABN, 00:26:28.21\00:26:32.30 you don't mean to be a separatist, 00:26:32.33\00:26:33.70 but you can become, 00:26:33.73\00:26:35.10 because you just so busy doing the Lord's work. 00:26:35.13\00:26:36.57 And J.D. and I went out to dinner with some friends 00:26:36.60\00:26:39.87 and actually our niece and all of a sudden 00:26:39.90\00:26:43.99 we realize there's a whole another world out there 00:26:44.02\00:26:46.58 that we have just almost tuned out and we realize 00:26:46.61\00:26:49.75 we've got to be able to reach out more one-on-one, 00:26:49.78\00:26:54.27 you know, when we're not-- 00:26:54.30\00:26:55.97 we can't keep thinking that God's work is the big project, 00:26:56.00\00:26:59.38 we got to look at the little projects as well. 00:26:59.41\00:27:01.36 Herb, our time has gone way too fast. 00:27:01.39\00:27:04.18 And I just thank you that you are here today 00:27:04.21\00:27:06.50 to tell us about friendship evangelism 00:27:06.53\00:27:09.10 and remind us how important it is. 00:27:09.13\00:27:10.88 You will come back? Yes I will. 00:27:10.91\00:27:13.27 Thank you so much. 00:27:13.30\00:27:14.67 And, you know, for those of you at home, 00:27:14.70\00:27:16.67 remember that we are Jesus hands 00:27:16.70\00:27:19.47 and remember that God wants to-- 00:27:19.50\00:27:22.67 we're supposed to be reflecting His love, 00:27:22.70\00:27:25.48 His life, His light, and His power. 00:27:25.51\00:27:28.84 And we can't reflect something 00:27:28.87\00:27:30.65 that if we're not turned full face to Him, 00:27:30.68\00:27:33.05 the Sun of righteousness, we can't reflect that love. 00:27:33.08\00:27:36.47 He's got to be inside of us for Him to be poured out of us. 00:27:36.50\00:27:40.63 I thank you so much for joining us. 00:27:40.66\00:27:42.44 Hope you really were stirred to 00:27:42.47\00:27:44.93 and inspired to think about friendship evangelism today. 00:27:44.96\00:27:48.45 Now may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, 00:27:48.48\00:27:51.22 the love of the Father 00:27:51.25\00:27:52.62 and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you. 00:27:52.65\00:27:54.63