Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Linda Schulz
Series Code: IAA
Program Code: IAA000301
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00:30 Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn.
00:31 Welcome again to Issues and Answers. 00:34 I want to make a special appeal; if you are 12 years old 00:37 to 20 years old you need to stay tuned. 00:39 If you're the parent of a young teenager you need to stay tuned. 00:43 For that matter, if you are 20 to 35 years old 00:46 and you're single, please stay tuned because we are 00:48 going to be talking about a very intriguing topic today. 00:52 And this is all about risky behavior; 00:55 myths about sexual behavior. 00:58 Can we really have safe sex? 01:01 We're going to answer some of those questions. 01:02 I want to give you a scripture passage that will be pertinent 01:06 to what we're talking about. 01:07 It comes from I Corinthians Chapter 6. 01:10 Let me read verses 18 thru 20 for you. 01:14 This comes from the Amplified, and Paul writes and he says, 01:17 Shun immorality and all sexual looseness. 01:20 Flee from impurity in thought, word, and deed. 01:24 Any other sin which a man commits is one outside the body. 01:28 But he who commits sexual immorality sins against 01:33 his own body. 01:34 Do you not know that your body is the temple for the very 01:38 sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who lives within you, 01:41 whom you have received as a gift from God? 01:44 You are not your own. 01:46 You were bought with a price, purchased with a preciousness, 01:50 and paid for. 01:52 You are made his very own. 01:54 So then honor God and bring glory to him in your body. 01:58 Jesus paid a very high price for you with His own life blood, 02:03 and He's got a plan for your life, and I think it's better 02:06 than the one most of us are living. 02:07 Let me introduce to you our very special guests. 02:10 We have Pastor Dustin Hall. 02:12 Pastor it is so wonderful to have you returning to 3ABN. 02:16 Thank you. It's great to be here. 02:18 And then we also have Dr. Robert Castellanos. 02:22 I said it! 02:23 I knew I did it. 02:24 And you are a family practitioner in the Ithaca area. 02:28 What is the name of the town? 02:29 Cortland. 02:31 Cortland, New York. 02:32 And that is in Central New York and you have a church in 02:34 Ithaca, New York where Cornell is. Yes. 02:36 Okay, and you actually have three churches. 02:38 I do. I pastor three churches. 02:39 Okay. You know, I recently read your book, 02:43 and we're going to be talking. 02:44 You were here earlier and we talked about this book some. 02:47 Today we're going to be talking about myths 02:49 about sexual behavior. 02:50 And this is an interesting title for a book. 02:53 I have to admit it was a little bit appalling to me at first, 02:56 and now I'm getting used to the idea. But it's called The Gospel 03:00 of Sex; Dating, Relating, and Mating. 03:02 But what a wonderful book, and I'm so thankful that you 03:04 have written this. Why did you write the book? 03:07 Well, I didn't want young people to ever be able to say, 03:09 No one ever told me this stuff! 03:11 That's good! 03:12 I grew up in a Christian church and a Christian home, 03:15 and no one ever talked to me about these issues. 03:19 Two years ago I started going into public school classrooms 03:23 and talking to secular kids about sexual issues, 03:27 and saving sex until marriage. 03:28 And as I was putting it together, that curriculum. 03:31 I sat back and I thought, You know, nobody ever addressed 03:34 these things with me. 03:35 Nobody ever talked to me about these things. 03:37 And so God put it on my heart to sit down and write a book 03:41 so that Christian young people, and young people everywhere 03:45 that read the book will never be able to say Nobody told me this. 03:48 That's wonderful! 03:49 You know we have so much to cover in this program that 03:53 what I'd like to do is just cut to the chase and hop in on some 03:57 of these myths. 03:59 And let me ask you, doctor, first. 04:01 May I call you Robert? Robert. 04:03 Okay, Robert, let me ask you first because the one that comes 04:07 to my mind about the myths is that you have to have sexual 04:12 intercourse to get an STD. 04:15 No you don't. 04:16 Just touching can be a problem. 04:19 Mercy! 04:20 Human papilloma virus; it's so prevalent that half of the men 04:25 that are sexually active that you see out there 04:28 have this disease. Half? 04:30 Have, half, yes. Mercy! 04:32 And about half of the women, too, that are sexually active. 04:35 It causes cancer. 04:36 And just touching gives you some of the diseases. 04:39 Let me tell you that if you wear a condom... 04:41 Can I say that word? Surely. 04:43 100% of the time you still have the risk of getting HPV 04:48 or getting Herpes. 04:49 HPV is the human papilloma virus. Okay. 04:53 For the herpes, genital herpes virus, 30% of the time. 04:57 So it doesn't protect you. 05:00 Things don't protect you. 05:01 This isn't even, the odds aren't even as good as playing 05:04 Russian roulette then, are they? 05:05 Which you bring out in your book. Exactly! 05:08 Is there any such thing as having, quote, unquote, 05:12 safe sex? No, because... 05:14 Well, yeah, the only safe sex happens inside marriage. Okay. 05:18 But if you start to think about mental and emotional issues, 05:22 you start to think about physical issues, you know, 05:24 something that young people have always heard, 05:26 pregnancy, STD's, you know, they've heard all of those 05:30 things before. 05:31 And an STD, for those who aren't in awareness, 05:34 is sexually transmitted disease. 05:36 They're also such things as sexually transmitted infections 05:39 as well, but that's kind of medical jargon that we don't 05:42 need to get into. But they're not the same thing. 05:45 But any time you have sex with someone that is not your husband 05:50 or your wife you are at risk to contracting a sexually 05:54 transmitted disease, or putting your heart out there on the line 05:58 for someone to stamp on by ending the relationship, 06:02 or if you get pregnant, if you have a consequence, 06:07 or make a bad decision, you're putting an obstacle to maybe 06:11 reaching a goal or dream that you might have later in life. 06:13 It is such risky behavior anytime you put yourself, 06:18 you put your body, give your body over to somebody, 06:20 before you're married to them. 06:22 You know, I'm thinking about the human papilloma virus, 06:27 which this is the one that they have just recently come up with 06:30 the shot for the young people. 06:34 How do you feel about, since this is such a risky business, 06:37 about having that shot for your young person? 06:41 It's still high risk. 06:42 I give the shot to my patients because they ask for it. 06:45 And there is some protection. 06:47 But there's 30 viruses out there that cause a disease. 06:53 30 viruses! 06:54 And it's only protecting against 4, 2 cause warts, and 2 cause 06:59 the actual cancer, or it can cause the cancer. 07:03 And it doesn't protect you 100% of the time. 07:05 It protects you 80% of those 2 that cause cancer. 07:09 Now if a child comes to you, gets the immunization, 07:12 and it feels I'm protected now, against this one disease! 07:16 What about all the other diseases? That's true. 07:19 It's not protecting them from? That's true. 07:21 But if we don't get... 07:23 You know, one of the myths is, kind of like, with these things 07:28 about what we can do to protect our self now. 07:30 It's kind of like, okay, I can do this to protect myself and 07:34 not get a disease, or I can do this to protect myself, maybe, 07:39 and not get pregnant, taking the pill or whatever. 07:42 So if I don't get a disease, or if I don't get pregnant, 07:46 then there's a myth out there that there's no other 07:49 consequences for having sex outside of marriage. 07:53 What would you say are the consequences? 07:55 Anytime you have sex with someone you're turning yourself 07:58 over to them; your mind, your heart, and your body. 08:02 And there's a study that's recently been done on oxytocin. 08:06 And maybe the good doctor can talk to us a little bit 08:09 about that, but basically... 08:10 Well, let me defer to you on that with the study of oxytocin. 08:14 There was a study done back in the 1990's. 08:16 Oxytocin or Potosin; it's what happens in a woman when you're 08:19 delivering a baby. 08:20 When you deliver a baby.. 08:22 This is happening, a chemical in your body? 08:24 It's a hormone in your body that goes down there 08:26 and contracts the uterus to prevent it from bleeding 08:30 any further. Okay. 08:31 After you deliver a baby then your placenta comes. 08:33 But it also, we discovered, helps in the bonding 08:37 with the baby. Hum. 08:39 You need it for bonding with the baby. 08:41 There are other events where this happens. 08:44 It happens at delivery. 08:45 It happens with sex. Okay. 08:49 What else does it happen for? Breast feeding! 08:50 Breast feeding, yes, it happens when you breast feed. 08:53 There's a bonding. 08:54 Let's say you're having sex for the very first time, 08:57 with your very first boyfriend, and you bind 09:01 with this boyfriend. Great! 09:03 You bind and then you break up a month later. Yes. 09:05 Let's say you have sex again with your second boyfriend. 09:08 And the Potosin goes up, the oxytocin goes up, and you bind 09:11 again, and you bind again for the third, the fourth, 09:14 the fifth, the twelfth time. 09:15 What's happening to that binding process? 09:18 It's disappearing. 09:19 The beauty of this is that after some time, if you become 09:23 abstinent, your body reformulates itself, 09:27 resets itself, and it can become a binding experience again. 09:31 But it takes time. 09:33 But kids think they can have sex over and over again 09:36 without problems. 09:37 It's a big problem. 09:38 Yes, and this attitude, this very casual cavalier attitude 09:42 towards sex, you know, I just want to tell you something, 09:44 first of all, the most important decision you'll ever make 09:48 in your life is accepting Jesus as your Savior, but the second 09:51 most important decision you'll ever make in your life is 09:54 who you marry. 09:55 And, you know, my mother always told me, don't date somebody 09:58 that you wouldn't marry. 10:00 Well, that means really you probably should postpone 10:04 the dating process because you're not in any... 10:07 You know, if I'm thinking, if you're giving yourself over 10:10 to someone when you're 16 years old, by the time you're maybe 10:14 out of college and ready to marry, that specialness is gone. 10:19 I mean it's something... 10:20 A lot of people say, you know, we're going to get married 10:24 someday anyway, so God honors our commitment. 10:26 But really you don't know you're going to marry someone 10:28 until you're standing at the altar saying your vows. 10:31 That's true. 10:32 So a lot of people justify what they're doing, or try to justify 10:35 what they're doing by saying, we can't get married right now, 10:37 but we will someday. 10:38 But the reality is that you don't know until you're there 10:43 saying your vows. 10:44 I had a friend who told me, I feel guilty for not 10:47 feeling guilty. 10:48 But I know we're getting married. 10:50 You know, when they were engaged eight years; 10:52 never did get married. 10:54 And so, as a matter of fact, it really tore her heart out. 10:59 So you're right, you don't know till you're there. That's right. 11:03 And some people have actually been to the altar, and you don't 11:07 even know there until you actually say the I do. 11:10 That's exactly right. 11:11 But now there's another myth that you hear and occasionally 11:16 you'll hear from people who are maybe in a process of 11:19 justification, if you will, or trying to justify themself, 11:22 that they'll say, there's no Biblical evidence that, I mean, 11:25 yes, there's Biblical evidence that adultery is a sin, 11:28 but they'll say, no, there's no Biblical evidence that sex 11:31 outside of marriage is a sin. 11:33 Well, we could take you to Ephesians 5, I Corinthians 6, 11:36 the books of Exodus and Leviticus. 11:38 All throughout the scriptures we see that any sexual contact 11:42 outside of marriage is not according to God's plan. 11:45 And, you know, I think about that and I think anyone who 11:49 makes that statement, really if you're saying that I don't 11:54 believe that it's here, I believe that it's in God's will 11:56 for me to give myself over to somebody, 11:59 and even though I know it might be kind of wrong, 12:02 I might be convicted on this, but I'm going to give myself 12:05 to this person anyway. 12:06 I question that because that's saying this other person means 12:10 more to me than God means to me. 12:13 And that's saying, you know, I'm going to turn my back 12:16 on God's plan for my life in order to share a feeling 12:20 with someone else, or share an experience with someone else. 12:23 And so, you know, I think we should really think about that. 12:26 You know, most people that say that, most people that say, 12:30 Well, is it really in God's Word? 12:32 I believe they know that it's there. 12:33 They're just trying to come up with an excuse for justifying 12:37 what they're already doing. 12:38 And there are so many scriptures; we read some 12:40 to begin with today from I Corinthians 6:18-20. 12:46 You know, also you have to think back, and you're thinking, 12:49 When God created Adam and Eve He didn't just say, 12:52 Go out and be each other's playmates. 12:54 He also established marriage right there and He said the two 12:57 should become one. 12:59 And that is what you were talking about; this oxytocin. 13:04 You know this bonding, this chemical release. 13:07 It's a hormonal release. 13:08 But, you know, this is a difficult topic because we're 13:13 going very much counter culture right now. 13:16 And there are a lot of parents out there who are in the church 13:20 who think because their children have been brought up to honor 13:24 God, and honor God's Word, and they may have seen these verses, 13:27 they're thinking, Well, my kid's not involved in this 13:31 kind of stuff. 13:32 Now there are some other parents who are out there thinking, 13:35 my kid's not going to listen to me no matter what I do. 13:38 What would you say to these parents? 13:39 There was a study done on young people, a survey, 13:43 and there were several options. 13:46 The question was, what has the greatest influence on your life? 13:50 Is it television? Is it friends? 13:51 Is it the internet? Is it music? 13:53 Or is it your parents? 13:54 And over 90% of those young people chose parents as their 13:59 number one influence. 14:00 Hum, praise God! 14:02 So parents, you have the greatest influence on your 14:07 children over every aspect of their life, but especially 14:10 sexual issues. 14:11 And if you don't set a standard in your home for your children, 14:14 who's going to set that standard? 14:15 Is it their friends? 14:16 Is it the television? 14:18 Is it something else? 14:19 If you don't set that standard, and you don't tell your children 14:23 what you expect of them, and their behavior, 14:24 and their relationships, they're going to find 14:26 a standard someplace else, and that's scary. 14:30 Amen, amen! 14:31 It's something that when we think about, you know, 14:34 it's just so prevalent in today's society. 14:38 What would you say is the most common... 14:42 Name off some of the most common of the sexually transmitted 14:48 diseases, and what had been your personal experience? 14:51 Well, we have herpes, human papilloma virus, gonorrhea, 14:55 Chlamydia, to name a few. 14:58 Pregnancy, you know, it's not a disease, but if you don't want 15:02 a pregnancy then what is it? 15:04 And if you're going to have an abortion, then what is that? 15:07 Did you know, excuse me for interrupting, 15:09 did you know, I heard today that the federal government is 15:13 getting ready to fund a special study on the psychological 15:18 effects of abortion on women. 15:20 Which I'm very excited about that, but there are so many 15:26 psychological effects that women don't recognize going into it. 15:30 Can I jump in here and add something to what he was saying? 15:32 There are more people in the United States that have genital 15:36 herpes than Canada has population. 15:38 You're kidding! No! 15:40 One in four people in this country have genital herpes. 15:44 And doctor, is there a cure for genital herpes? 15:47 No, there isn't. 15:48 It's going to be with you for life. 15:50 Did I tell you about the patient I had? 15:52 Yeah, tell us. 15:53 I had a patient who came in twenty years 15:56 after he was married. 15:57 He came in with a rash on his hip. 15:59 On his hip, not on his genitals, but on his hip. 16:01 He had a rash that wouldn't go away. 16:04 Every year it would come back. 16:05 It would be there for a week or two; very painful. 16:07 And the rash would eventually just disappear on its own. 16:11 I did some studies and found out it was genital herpes. 16:14 He's been married twenty years, and now he's paying the price 16:17 of what he did in high school. 16:19 It doesn't go away. 16:21 So when you were answering the question about how parents 16:25 have a great influence on their children, but what about 16:28 are children really involved? 16:30 I mean, are Christian young people involved in the same 16:35 ways of the world? Yes! 16:36 I was recently at a Christian school, a Christian high school, 16:41 and I had numerous young people come into the room that they 16:46 gave me to speak with, a class room there that the school 16:49 gave me, and over ten, and the school has seventy students. 16:53 Ten of those came in to talk to me and said, I'm involved. 16:57 How do I stop? 16:58 Or my girlfriend is trying to get me to get involved, 17:01 or my boyfriend is trying to do this, or my girlfriend's 17:03 trying to do that. How do I stop? 17:05 How do I avoid? 17:06 How do I deal with these issues? 17:08 They didn't know. 17:09 And that was only ten, so chances are those were the 17:12 courageous ten that were willing to come forward. 17:14 So chances are there were at least ten, or twelve, or fifteen 17:18 more that were involved in these and didn't have the courage 17:21 to come forward and talk to me about these things. 17:23 One in three women under the age of twenty become pregnant. 17:27 That's such an astonishing statistic. 17:30 That's not just non-Christian; that's all, of all women. 17:35 They do studies on the entire population. 17:37 They don't just separate Christians from non-Christians. 17:40 So when you're talking with these young adults, 17:43 I mean, how do you feel that most of them are getting 17:46 trapped in this? 17:47 Is it just because they've not been told? 17:49 Or is it because of peer pressure? 17:51 How are they becoming involved in this type of risky behavior? 17:56 You know, it's many things. 17:58 But the thing that I like to address most with young people, 18:01 and they quite often hear, it's lust, it's lust, it's lust, 18:04 it's lust. 18:05 But what I've found is that lust is only a piece of the puzzle. 18:08 I really believe infatuation is the biggest piece. 18:12 And in fact, because we believe a lie in our culture about 18:15 what true love is. 18:17 We believe that it's sweaty palms, and butterflies in your 18:20 belly, and intense sexual feelings, and just lighter 18:24 than air feelings. 18:25 But in reality that's not love, because infatuation wears off. 18:30 And what happens in many relationships, these infatuation 18:34 feelings wear off and later on they begin to look at someone 18:37 and they go, They're not patient. 18:38 They're not kind. 18:39 They're not loving. 18:40 They don't satisfy my needs just in a 18:43 relationship standpoint. 18:45 So, let me put into perspective what you're saying. 18:48 What you're saying is you may at the age of eighteen become 18:51 involved with a young man, or maybe one of the myths says 18:56 that an older boyfriend makes the best boyfriend, 18:58 so maybe you're eighteen and a senior in high school, 19:01 and you're dating someone in college, and you become sexually 19:04 active, and perhaps you're so infatuated you think it's love. 19:08 You get married and find out, What have I done? 19:11 I've married the wrong person. That's exactly right. 19:13 Is that what you're saying? That's exactly what I'm saying. 19:16 And when you throw sex into the mix, in an infatuation based 19:18 relationship, it clouds up your decision making, 19:22 because not only are you having all these wonderful feelings, 19:24 now you're having all those wonderful bonding feelings 19:26 from sexual experience, and you don't have time, 19:30 or the mental focus to be able to look at "How does this guy 19:34 treat his mother?" 19:35 You know? 19:36 How does she work with her money? 19:39 Does she save her money? 19:41 Does she spend it frivolously? 19:42 All of those things that are important for a marriage 19:45 relationship. When you're infatuated you're high 19:47 on the heroin of infatuation; it just feels so good! 19:50 And then you throw sex in there and it's another great surge 19:54 of emotion, and so you're not looking at what's important. 19:57 And what's important is the things that love 19:59 are truly based on. Yes. 20:00 Kindness, and patience, and all of those service and 20:05 submission kind of things that love's based on. 20:07 It sounds so old fashioned to some people, but it is... 20:11 You know, you hear that as people become older they all 20:15 come back to that. 20:16 I wish I'd listened to my parents, 20:17 or I wished I'd listened here. 20:19 You know, you asked the question, How do these kids 20:21 get involved in this? 20:22 One of the biggest factors is parents. 20:25 Parents now days want to protect their children, but they want to 20:30 protect them from getting diseases, and getting pregnant, 20:34 not from having sex. 20:36 Because they think they can't protect them though. 20:38 They think they can't protect them, but they're telling the 20:40 kids now; wear a condom. 20:41 Yes. 20:42 Be careful. 20:43 Choose your partners. 20:44 What is that telling our children? 20:46 Go ahead and do it, but just be careful. 20:49 I like to use this illustration. 20:52 Sorry to cut you off there. 20:53 No, go ahead! 20:54 If I buy you a brand new Mustang. 20:56 Say I'm your father and I buy you a brand new Mustang; 20:58 souped-up, beautiful, convertible. 21:00 I mean this thing will just run like crazy! 21:02 And I say, Never drive this over the speed limit. 21:05 Never drive it over the speed limit, and you'll never 21:08 get in an accident. 21:09 I know where you're going! 21:10 You'll never get a ticket, you'll never get hurt. 21:13 No chance whatsoever! 21:14 Okay, I set that standard for you. 21:16 You know what I expect of you. 21:18 Right. 21:19 But what if I say, Or, wear your seat belt and you can drive 21:23 as fast as you want, as much as you want, and chances are 21:26 you'll never get a ticket, you'll never get hurt, 21:28 or you'll never cause a problem with your car. 21:30 Which one are you going to pick? 21:31 Ha, I thought you were going to say, or the next thing is to 21:35 hand you a radar detector to say, you know, Okay, 21:38 but even now. 21:40 And that's an excellent... 21:42 Human beings always want to choose the least 21:45 restrictive message. Yes. 21:46 If I say to you, Don't have sex. 21:49 As a parent, you know that the standard that I have set is, 21:52 I don't want you to have sex until you're married. 21:54 But if I say, Don't have sex, but if you do protect yourself! 21:58 You know, as a child, we start as a baby. 22:00 The Pastor has a newborn baby seven weeks old. 22:02 That baby can control his life. 22:05 When that baby screams and cries he can come running, 22:09 and the baby will learn, Wow, if I scream and cry, Dad's coming 22:12 over to feed me or call Mom. 22:14 So it happens when they're young? 22:16 They test their parents. 22:17 As they get older kids continue to test their parents. 22:20 As a 15 year old, Hum, I got Dad's car keys. 22:25 If I turn the car on will my Dad let me? 22:27 He did! 22:29 Maybe I can drive it down the road. 22:31 When do you stop telling your kids, or when do you start 22:36 controlling your kids actions? Amen! 22:38 We don't stop. 22:40 Okay, we're getting close here to running out of time, 22:44 and there's a couple of things that are on my mind. 22:45 There's two things. 22:46 Number One: Young people who are dating and get involved 22:51 in this and say, Let's live together and then we'll, 22:54 you know, we can't afford to get married right now, 22:56 or we're in school. 22:57 I want to talk about this idea of living together, 23:00 but the other thing, before the program runs out, 23:02 is I want to talk about not just the myth busting things 23:06 that we're discussing, but how do you avoid getting into these 23:11 compromising positions? Uh huh! 23:13 Alright, the first question. 23:15 People that live together have a 50% higher divorce rate than 23:20 people that don't live together before they're married. Oh my! 23:24 And let's ask ourselves why that is. 23:26 Well, if you lived together before you're married you're 23:28 treating each other like husband and wife. 23:30 You're doing the bills together. 23:32 You're eating together. 23:33 You're sleeping together. 23:34 You're doing all the things that husbands and wives do, 23:36 but you don't have the commitment. 23:37 But now, some will say, Well, marriage is just a 23:40 piece of paper. 23:41 Can I have the title to your car? 23:43 Ah, there you go! 23:45 Can I have the deed to your house? 23:46 Very good! 23:47 See, those are pieces of paper, but they have meaning, 23:50 and commitment behind them. 23:51 That's very good. 23:53 You see, and the marriage license has a commitment 23:55 behind it, a lifelong commitment behind it. That's good. 23:58 And people that live together before they're married, 24:01 they do all the things that husbands and wives do, 24:04 but they don't have the commitment. 24:06 And so when they get married they go about life just as if 24:11 they had been before they were married. 24:13 And they go in with the mindset of, I can live life the way 24:17 I was going, but I don't have the commitment. 24:19 So when they get into the marriage and things start to get 24:21 rocky; I don't have the commitment. 24:23 So that's why I believe there's a 50% higher divorce rate 24:27 for people that lived together before they were married 24:29 than if they had. 24:31 Okay, there are young people watching us right now, 24:34 and we only have two minutes. 24:35 Tell me some things that they can do to protect themself from 24:39 being in a vulnerable situation. 24:41 Date in groups. Yes. 24:43 Get to know each other in groups. 24:44 Get to know the character of somebody. 24:46 Get to know who they are, and what they're all about. 24:48 Don't spend time alone with one another. 24:51 Don't go off for long drives at night up in the forest. 24:56 Don't go parking! 24:58 My mother always told me... 25:00 Don't go to your boyfriend's house alone. Amen! 25:03 Half of the pregnancies occur in the boyfriend's house. 25:06 Not the back seat like it used to be in our days. 25:09 It's in the boyfriend's house. 25:11 Tell someone where you stand ahead of time before it presents 25:14 itself in a relationship. 25:15 Okay, so sit down, yeah it's an awkward conversation, 25:18 but sit down and have the talk and say, You know what? 25:21 I've made a decision to keep myself pure for my husband 25:23 or my wife someday, so I want you to know that we won't be 25:27 getting physical in this relationship. You know, when 25:29 you start to date someone let them know ahead of time. 25:31 Sex is not an option unless we become married. That's right. 25:37 The lady from Planned Parenthood says when she walks into 25:39 the room where there's a lot of teenagers, the first thing 25:41 she says is, Hand show! 25:43 I want to see where your hands are. 25:45 Who hoo, Oooh, Mercy! 25:48 Can we do that as parents? 25:49 And so it's so, so very important to let people know 25:53 where you stand ahead of time on something. 25:56 So you might think that's an awkward conversation to have, 25:59 but isn't it more awkward to kick somebody off from you? 26:02 When you're getting involved, or worse, you don't, 26:05 because you get too hot and heavy in a relationship. 26:09 Use your voice! Rely on God! 26:12 You know, we always say, Have faith! 26:13 But what does that mean? 26:14 You know, know what God's standard is for you. 26:16 Absolutely! 26:18 And go to Him and find what He wants for your life. 26:20 Absolutely! Speak up! 26:22 You know, if somebody starts to pressure you, get up to leave, 26:25 and say, This is it! 26:26 Or if they have something inappropriate on the television 26:28 say, I'm not staying here if this is going to continue. 26:31 And then if it takes it leave. Get out of there! 26:33 Say, I'm out of the car, I'm out of the house, I'm out of here, 26:36 because I'm not going to put myself in a more 26:38 vulnerable situation. 26:39 You know, Pastor Dustin, we're already getting out of time 26:42 here, but I'm thinking as you're talking. 26:44 It has to do with the music. 26:45 It has to do with what you're watching on television. 26:48 It has to do with so many things that we don't recognize, 26:51 that we open ourselves to make ourselves vulnerable, 26:54 and put ourselves in those vulnerable positions. 26:57 That's right. So this was some great advice. 26:59 Sexual purity is a lifestyle. 27:01 It's not just an act. Amen! 27:03 And it's a lifestyle that remains even after marriage, 27:07 but boy it is all the benefits of marriage; the joy of sex! 27:10 God made sex to be something very beautiful, and it's a gift 27:15 for a husband and wife. 27:16 Can I say one more thing? Sure. 27:17 If you've made a mistake in the past, today can be the first day 27:20 of the rest of your life. 27:21 You're not hopeless. 27:23 You can make the decision today not to put yourself vulnerable, 27:26 and you are not stuck in a rut. 27:28 You can make a decision to overcome those mistakes 27:31 in the past, and you can live a pure life starting today. 27:33 I know that if you confess your sin that Jesus is, 27:36 God is faithful and just to forgive you of your sin, 27:38 and to cleanse you of all unrighteousness. Amen. 27:41 Thank you, gentlemen, so much for being here. 27:43 It was really a pleasure. Thank you. 27:45 And for those of you at home, May the grace of our Lord Jesus 27:49 Christ, and the love of the Father, and the fellowship 27:51 of the Holy Spirit be with you today and always. 27:54 And you young people enjoy sexual purity. |
Revised 2014-12-17