Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn
and welcome again to Issues and
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Answers. We have a
wonderful program for you today.
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We're going to be talking
about how God wakes up his
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people. Boy! If every we
needed to hear this message
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I think it's now. I want
to share a scripture with you
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that's one of my personal
favorites. It comes from
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Isaiah 50:4,5- And here's what
Isaiah said, The Lord has given
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me the tongue of a disciple,
one who is taught, that I
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should know how to speak
a word in season to him who
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is weary. He wakens my morning
by morning, he wakens my ear
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to hear as a disciples.
The Lord has opened my ear and
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I have not been
rebellious or turned backward.
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How does God wake up his
people? How does he wake up
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their ear? If you want to have
an ear that's wide open to the
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Lord, then stay tuned because
we've got a great program and
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it's going to tell you how.
Let me introduce our special
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guests to you and I'm going
to begin with ladies first.
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I have my dear sister
and friend here, Janet Page.
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Janet is the director
or coordinator for prayer
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ministries for
Central California Conference.
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Janet, you also have another
very important position that
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you hold there.
What's that? Jerry's wife?
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Oh, right! that's a
very important position.
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I was thinking you're also
the director of the Women's
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Ministries for the
Central California Conference.
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Well, we're really glad
to have you back at 3ABN.
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Then we also have Jerry Page
who is the president for the
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Central California Conference.
It's really wonderful to have
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you all here. Nice
to be with you Shelley.
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Now, y'all aren't
nervous at being on TV are you?
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Oh not at all, but we
lie! Yes, a little bit.
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Yes? We're going to get
past that. Let's talk about how
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God awakened your
hearts and awakened your ears.
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Who wants to start
sharing your testimony?
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I want Janet to start.
You want Janet to start.
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Janet, tell us what did
God do to get your attention?
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Well, you know I didn't
know that you were going to read
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that verse before, but that
verse in Isaiah is very, very
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meaningful to me. I had a
Bible teacher teach me that
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back in, I think, my senior
year in academy. I did not
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know up until that time that
I really needed to spend time
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with God every day. Yeah, I
knew I needed to go to church,
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you needed to study your
Sabbath School lesson, but
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this idea of spending
time with God every day?
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And I said to him, You know
what's the big deal, you know,
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I want to serve God.
And he said, Well, if you
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don't spend time with
him, you won't love him, and if
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you don't love him, you're
going to eventually walk away
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from him. He is right.
This is true. I tried to start
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spending time with God,
but you know, I'd get busy
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getting into college and
I'd forget about God until exam
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week, and then it was, Oh God,
if you'll get me through exams
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you know, I'll spend time
with you, I'll read your word.
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And he'd get me through exams
and then I'd try to spend time
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with him, I'd keep my end of
the deal, but then I'd forget
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about it, I'd get busy until
the next exam week and then
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it was, Oh God, if you'll
just get me through exams, I'm
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going to spend time with you.
And I went all the way through
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college like this. Then
when I going out of college and
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working a full time job, I
thought, you know, I'm going
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have lots of time to know
God because you work, what,
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eight hours a day, but as
it turned out, you know, you're
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busy, you're busy all the time.
Then I got married and chose
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to stay home when I had a
baby. Two weeks before the
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baby was to come I quit my job
and I thought, wow, I'm going
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to have so much time, finally,
to read my Bible and get to
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know God. What I didn't
know was, what my mother failed
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to tell me was that it's a
24-hour-a-day job taking care
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a baby. I was so busy with
the baby and then if people
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know you're not working they've
got all these volunteer projects
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for you to do. So it was,
Lord, I don't have time for you
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today, but I'm going to help
with the vacation Bible school.
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Or, God, I don't have time
for you today but I'm going to
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help with this project at church
or whatever it was. Then it was
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Lord, you know Michelle wants
Bible studies; I don't have
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time for you today, God, but
will you bless me because I'm
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doing your work, God. Before
I realized it I was in my 30's
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and realizing, I really don't
know him. The thing that really
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hit me was, was that life
kept getting busier and busier
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and busier and it's just all
these urgencies coming at you.
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It's like, what's really
important, because I can't
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do everything.
Maybe you can but I can't.
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Oh Shelley can do everything.
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No, I'm identifying with what
you're saying. Even moving here
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to 3ABN and working full time.
I was in full time ministry
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before but running it out
of my home, so I didn't have to
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get up and be at the office
at a certain hour. It is so
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amazing how the devil... I
think one of his favorite tricks
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is to keep us so busy that
we don't have time to go and
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spend with our loving heavenly
Father. It's something we all
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struggle with isn't it. So
now you find yourself as a young
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mother, a full time position.
You're being very active in
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church doing Vacation Bible
School and all these things,
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but how was your relationship
progressing with the Lord?
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My experience with God was
very up and down; it was kind
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of like a roller coaster;
you go up, your down, you know,
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just back and forth. When I
got into my 30's I kind of gave
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up. I didn't kind of, I did
give up. I just felt like there
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was no hope for me. People
tell me, Believe what Romans
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says. Believe Jesus died
for you and I just didn't think
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he could do it for me. I was
just too bad. Some people say,
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Oh, when you tell that, you
know, it sounds like you were
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a really, really bad person.
Well, to me, just the simple
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things such as being critical,
gossiping and all these kind
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of things are just as bad as
what people say the bad things
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are, you know, like drugs
or whatever. I suffered with
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a lot of depression. I
just thought that's me; I'm just
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meant to be that way. But
in my 30's what really happened
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and I didn't realize this
till a few years later but when
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we had moved to Pennsylvania
and I had given up on God, I
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just felt like there's no hope
for me, but I went about the
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functions. You know, as a
pastor's wife you don't tell
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anybody about this. The
thing is, Shelley, I guess
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I wasn't sensitive enough. I
didn't realize that was going
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on with her. I knew she was
depressed at times and I knew
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she was... She covered it up
really well. You know, she was
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a good pastor's wife and
everything looked good but...
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There are so many people
who are covering it up with this
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verbal camouflage that...
You know, you try to put forth
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the best and we're afraid
to share what's going on in our
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hearts. So here you are,
a pastor's wife, and you're
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feeling like I may as well give
up. What can God do with me?
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Yeah. I was still going through
the functions, but about a
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year after we moved there,
they asked Jerry to be like
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head of our church organization.
It was right at the time of
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camp meeting or it happened
a few weeks before that, but
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at camp meeting is when we
come together we come together
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for like a week and just have
all these wonderful meetings.
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But people kept coming up
and saying, Congratulations! How
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does it feel to be the "first
lady?" I hate that kind of talk.
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I'd say, Hey, I wash his clothes
the same way I always did.
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Just, you know, leave me alone.
But towards the end of the
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week people were coming up
that were attending a seminar by
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Dave Wakowitz that was on
how important it is that we pray
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for the Holy Spirit to be
in our lives every day. But not
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just our lives but our kids'
lives and our leaders' lives
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our pastors' lives and he got
them to commit, because Jerry
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you know, was new at this job,
he got them to commit to pray
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for Jerry and I every day
for the Holy Spirit to be in our
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lives. So people that last
weekend started coming up and
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saying, We want you to know
that we're praying for you and
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Jerry for the Holy Spirit
to be in your lives and at
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that time, I didn't have a clue.
I had seen God answer prayer
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in the past, but I just
didn't think prayer made a big
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difference. I'd look at them
and go, Oh, thank you. But to me
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like bit deal, so they're
praying and what's that going
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going to do? Several people
came up during that time and
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said it. But for the next two
years, we'd be in a different
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church almost every Sabbath
because of Jerry being head
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of the organization, and
someone somewhere would keep
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coming up to me and saying,
We're praying for you and Jerry.
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We want you to know that
daily we're praying for the Holy
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Spirit to be in your lives. And
two years later from the time
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they started praying that,
my life was literally turned
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upside down. Just
turned upside down and God just
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started moving in an incredible
way in me; so powerful
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I don't ever want to go back
to the way it was. But I came
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to realize that this is God's
word. He really does speak to
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us through it; just what I
need for today and he wants a
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personal relationship with me.
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He's yearning for that. You know
when you're talking I'm thinking
00:09:22.76\00:09:28.25
of Luke 11:9-13 where Jesus
said, ask and it will be given,
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seek and you'll find, knock
and the door will be opened.
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Those are linear verbs in the
Greek and it means to ask and
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keep on asking, to seek and
keep on seeking and knock and
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keep on knocking, because
he tells us in verse 13, if you
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being evil know how to
give good gifts to your children
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how much more will the heavenly
Father give to those who ask
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and keep on asking. So it
is this day by day that we need
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to ask and surrender. So God
now has just turned your life
00:10:03.50\00:10:08.28
upside down and you are coming
into a closer relationship with
00:10:08.32\00:10:12.48
him. I know you've got a super-
personal intimate relationship
00:10:12.51\00:10:16.64
with the Lord. You
know, the beautiful part
00:10:16.67\00:10:20.15
to me was... What happened
was Jerry pushed me into doing
00:10:20.18\00:10:27.39
a women's retreat. Can
you see me pushing her into
00:10:27.42\00:10:30.04
anything? I'm
such a gentle person.
00:10:30.07\00:10:31.57
He tells me to go pray about
it to do this. I tell him I
00:10:31.60\00:10:34.56
can't do it. So I'm thinking
well I can come back in a few
00:10:34.59\00:10:36.70
days and say Jerry, the
Lord has told me not to do this.
00:10:36.73\00:10:38.87
But instead Jerry comes home
and tells me it's been voted
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for me to do this, and I felt
like I had to do it, so what
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do you do? I don't know
how to plan a women's retreat.
00:10:44.74\00:10:47.78
So I knew I needed God, so
I started once again trying to
00:10:47.81\00:10:52.47
spend time with God every day
saying, God help me, help me,
00:10:52.50\00:10:55.42
you know, I don't want to look
like a failure, I don't want
00:10:55.45\00:10:56.89
to make Jerry look bad, how
do I do this? I knew I needed
00:10:56.92\00:11:00.72
him so I started trying
to spend time with him and I
00:11:00.75\00:11:02.56
said, God I don't even know,
you know, I've read all kinds
00:11:02.59\00:11:05.80
of books about how to read the
Bible, how to spend time with
00:11:05.83\00:11:08.52
you. But it just doesn't work.
God teach me how to know you,
00:11:08.55\00:11:12.01
teach me how. I would just
take my Bible and say, Lord what
00:11:12.04\00:11:15.30
do I read today? Tell me
what to read. Then you know this
00:11:15.33\00:11:19.70
scripture might come into mind
or I'd be drawn to certain pages
00:11:19.73\00:11:22.64
and I'd think now is this really
God or is this not God, but
00:11:22.67\00:11:25.57
I decided to just go with it
and I just started going with
00:11:25.60\00:11:28.23
it and I said, God teach
me to love you and he did.
00:11:28.26\00:11:31.74
It took several weeks, I think
probably three weeks before
00:11:31.77\00:11:36.27
it really became meaningful,
but it was just like he started
00:11:36.30\00:11:39.39
pouring out his grace when
he realized that I was really
00:11:39.42\00:11:43.27
serious about it, when I really
made him first every day, that
00:11:43.30\00:11:47.49
is when I started experiencing
just his grace and love being
00:11:47.52\00:11:51.70
poured out. I came to realize
that what God's word says is
00:11:51.73\00:11:55.25
so true in my
life. He did die for me.
00:11:55.28\00:11:57.68
Amen, amen. When you said that
he was pouring out his grace
00:11:57.71\00:12:01.82
and love... You know Romans
5:5 says that it is by the power
00:12:01.85\00:12:05.11
of the Holy Spirit that God
sheds his love abroad in our
00:12:05.14\00:12:07.98
hearts. You're doing exactly
what I do, this is what I do.
00:12:08.01\00:12:12.07
I go and I always pick up this
word and I say, Teach me Lord;
00:12:12.10\00:12:15.06
teach me. I go to him as
my teacher. I've told the Lord
00:12:15.09\00:12:19.47
before, Father... You
know, Mark 12:30 says that Jesus
00:12:19.50\00:12:23.72
said that the most important
commandment was to love the
00:12:23.75\00:12:26.35
Lord your God with all your
heart, soul, mind and strength.
00:12:26.38\00:12:28.91
We can't do that in our own
strength. There's no way I can
00:12:28.94\00:12:32.48
do that. I would say,
Lord, teach me how and he taught
00:12:32.51\00:12:35.96
me that all I had to do
was open my heart to him as you
00:12:35.99\00:12:39.77
were doing and he poured
that out. We can't love God from
00:12:39.80\00:12:44.49
our finite ability. We need
to open our heart and he pours
00:12:44.52\00:12:49.90
the love into our heart
for us to love him. I love it.
00:12:49.93\00:12:53.20
You know Shelley, it's
like Ezekiel 37 where God took
00:12:53.23\00:12:55.82
Ezekiel to the valley of
dry bones. He saw all these
00:12:55.85\00:12:58.28
you know, dry bones
and God said can they live?
00:12:58.31\00:13:00.45
Ezekiel said it doesn't look
like it to me God, basically,
00:13:00.48\00:13:02.99
but God said, They can live
by my power and that's really
00:13:03.02\00:13:06.67
our story is how God can wake
up anybody, you know, whether
00:13:06.70\00:13:09.93
it's somebody listening or it's
the church or whatever, he's
00:13:09.96\00:13:12.93
working in every heart trying
to wake us up, trying to give
00:13:12.96\00:13:15.86
us a new experience with him.
00:13:15.89\00:13:17.26
Now you were a bag of dry
bones at one time in your life.
00:13:17.29\00:13:20.32
Tell us about it. I
guess my whole life is
00:13:20.35\00:13:22.25
summarized in a little story
I tell sometimes. When I was
00:13:22.28\00:13:24.73
was pastoring I was working
at the conference office in
00:13:24.76\00:13:26.75
Colorado. I went to a minister's
meeting. I was staying in room
00:13:26.78\00:13:30.88
where there were two beds.
Janet wasn't able to be with me
00:13:30.91\00:13:32.73
and in the other bed was the
educational superintendent for
00:13:32.76\00:13:35.51
the conference. In the middle
of the night I had this dream
00:13:35.54\00:13:38.39
and I was sure that it was real,
one of those reality dreams,
00:13:38.42\00:13:41.78
and I dreamed it was Janet
in the other bed and so I got up
00:13:41.81\00:13:44.51
and began to sleep walk across
the room towards Bob thinking
00:13:44.54\00:13:48.04
it was Janet, and I ended
up in the darkness of the night
00:13:48.07\00:13:49.99
standing over poor Bob and then
he woke up and then I woke up
00:13:50.02\00:13:53.33
and looked down at him.
You know, it was one of those
00:13:53.36\00:13:54.83
moments in life that is awkward.
Bob's got a great sense of
00:13:54.86\00:13:57.94
humor. He said, Jerry, I won't
tell a soul. So anyway I said
00:13:57.97\00:14:01.27
Bob, I'm going to tell
everybody at breakfast before
00:14:01.30\00:14:03.28
you get a chance to tell
it your way. But to me that's
00:14:03.31\00:14:06.01
such a symbol of my own life,
as I look back. How often I
00:14:06.04\00:14:09.17
thought I was awake when really
I was asleep and God in his
00:14:09.20\00:14:12.43
mercy even to this day keeps
trying to wake me up. It's not
00:14:12.46\00:14:16.44
just when I came to him,
but it's all the way along the
00:14:16.47\00:14:18.51
journey. There's a promise I
like that is from the Message
00:14:18.54\00:14:23.45
paraphrase of the Bible.
Romans 13:11, 12. It says,
00:14:23.48\00:14:27.23
But make sure you don't get
so absorbed and exhausted in
00:14:27.26\00:14:30.45
taking care of all your day
by day obligations that you lose
00:14:30.48\00:14:34.31
track of the time and doze off
oblivious to God. The night's
00:14:34.34\00:14:38.18
about over, dawn's about to
break. Be up and awake to what
00:14:38.21\00:14:40.98
God is doing. God is putting
the finishing touches on the
00:14:41.01\00:14:44.41
salvation work he
began when we first believed.
00:14:44.44\00:14:47.54
So I can look back; my
testimony is growing up in a
00:14:47.57\00:14:50.68
good Christian home. My parents
were both involved in ministry
00:14:50.71\00:14:53.50
for God. My mom was a teacher,
my dad sold these Bible story
00:14:53.53\00:14:56.55
books. He was the literature
evangelist leader. They were
00:14:56.58\00:14:59.30
off at rallies where people
were telling testimonies and
00:14:59.33\00:15:01.79
all this but they left me
at home watching TV. I'm not
00:15:01.82\00:15:04.40
criticizing them, they
have both passed away now, but
00:15:04.43\00:15:06.77
somehow they didn't get me
involved, Shelley, in really
00:15:06.80\00:15:09.40
knowing Jesus and having
assurance of salvation and
00:15:09.43\00:15:12.13
really getting involved
in service. I believe I was a
00:15:12.16\00:15:15.34
little leader growing up and
somehow I didn't get involved
00:15:15.37\00:15:19.41
in the right things, so I
began to track the other way and
00:15:19.44\00:15:22.01
ran around with other kids and
so I won't take a long time to
00:15:22.04\00:15:24.64
describe it but basically I
got more and more rebellious
00:15:24.67\00:15:25.84
through elementary and into
academy and got kicked out of
00:15:25.87\00:15:30.01
3 of our Christian
academies. Not you! Yeah me!
00:15:30.04\00:15:33.88
But, you know, I got into
drugs, buying and selling drugs.
00:15:33.92\00:15:37.14
I just wanted more than anything
to get out from under all the
00:15:37.18\00:15:39.77
rules, and the dos and
don'ts; you know, the obedience
00:15:39.80\00:15:42.66
that was coming at me. You
know, when you said getting
00:15:42.69\00:15:45.48
out from underneath the rules.
There's a saying that I use all
00:15:45.52\00:15:49.48
the time that rules without
relationship result in rebellion
00:15:49.52\00:15:53.44
If you don't have that personal
relationship with the Lord then
00:15:53.52\00:15:57.26
all of his rules that parents
are trying to share his plan
00:15:57.29\00:16:02.73
for a happy life, we look at
it as just a bunch of rules and
00:16:02.76\00:16:06.19
we rebel. And
that's my story in a
00:16:06.22\00:16:08.19
nutshell really. I was trying
to get away so that I could
00:16:08.22\00:16:11.84
be happy, but the reality was
I was getting all of the things
00:16:11.87\00:16:16.13
that come with rebellion, drugs
and some bad relationships and
00:16:16.16\00:16:18.44
the whole thing. But the
important part to me in the
00:16:18.47\00:16:21.49
testimony of my life is
that my parents who made these
00:16:21.52\00:16:23.64
mistakes, when they saw how
bad I was becoming and how far
00:16:23.67\00:16:27.59
I was gone, they got really
nervous and instead of hiding
00:16:27.62\00:16:31.01
that their boy was rebellious
they got everybody they
00:16:31.04\00:16:33.57
possibly could to pray unitedly
together for me. I mean there
00:16:33.60\00:16:36.41
were people all over the central
part of this country praying
00:16:36.44\00:16:38.31
for Jerry Page because he
was so bad and so gone. My dad's
00:16:38.34\00:16:43.44
colporteurs he would pull off
the road and get them to pray
00:16:43.47\00:16:45.64
for me. He's say, I don't know
where Jerry is right now but
00:16:45.67\00:16:47.04
we've got to pray right
now for him. They would claim
00:16:47.07\00:16:49.06
promises like Isaiah 42:7,
16 that God will open the blind
00:16:49.09\00:16:53.63
eyes, and he'll set the captives
free and he will make the
00:16:53.66\00:16:56.15
crooked things straight, and
he'll contend with the one who
00:16:56.18\00:16:59.41
contends with us and save our
children and all those promises.
00:16:59.44\00:17:02.94
So, they had to wait a while
and it scared them pretty badly
00:17:02.97\00:17:06.15
but my story really is that
when I finally got out of our
00:17:06.37\00:17:10.82
schools and was going to
state college and preparing for
00:17:10.85\00:17:13.30
possibly a law degree I had
money, had everything I wanted
00:17:13.33\00:17:16.63
and was running around and
living with a bunch of guys and
00:17:16.66\00:17:20.58
everything. Instead of becoming
happy, I became more and more
00:17:20.61\00:17:23.55
miserable. And I just praise
God for that. My parents prayed
00:17:23.58\00:17:27.05
me miserable, Shelley. I
just want to encourage anybody
00:17:27.08\00:17:29.94
listening today. Their kids may
have been out there a long time,
00:17:29.97\00:17:33.42
but what I've discovered is
no matter how long it takes,
00:17:33.45\00:17:36.16
when parents pray
something happens in the great
00:17:36.19\00:17:38.72
controversy. God has set up
some rules. He says you have not
00:17:38.75\00:17:41.65
because you ask not. He said,
You pray anything according
00:17:41.68\00:17:44.41
to my will and I will do
it. So, we've had this couple in
00:17:44.44\00:17:48.80
our office where we work, they
prayed 40 years for their two
00:17:48.83\00:17:51.37
sons and they were both just
in drugs and wild and whatever.
00:17:51.40\00:17:54.48
Just in the last year and a
half both of them after 40 years
00:17:54.51\00:17:58.16
have come back to God. One
of them is really active in the
00:17:58.19\00:18:00.31
church. The other one is talking
about being a preacher and
00:18:00.34\00:18:03.12
that's just one example.
But for me, you know, I was just
00:18:03.15\00:18:06.86
going down the road as far as I
could. We'd stolen cocaine from
00:18:06.89\00:18:10.27
one of our hospitals and we were
selling it on the seedy back
00:18:10.30\00:18:13.13
streets of Boulder, Colorado
and talking about starting to
00:18:13.16\00:18:15.72
use needles and just that close
to blowing my whole life away.
00:18:15.75\00:18:20.06
But that's when God intervened
and one night after a really
00:18:20.09\00:18:22.99
bad drug trip, my girlfriend
and I were just sitting at home
00:18:23.02\00:18:26.84
so miserable. We talking about
how unhappy we were and how
00:18:26.87\00:18:29.98
people treated us and cheated
in drug deals and we were
00:18:30.01\00:18:35.07
miserable. We said, What is
going to make us happy. And as
00:18:35.10\00:18:37.65
we sat there we started thinking
everybody in our life who had
00:18:37.68\00:18:40.63
given us unconditional
love were Christians and we were
00:18:40.66\00:18:43.31
so thankful for that. The little
lady that my folks sent to the
00:18:43.34\00:18:46.71
apartment with a casserole of
food, you know, and they sicked
00:18:46.74\00:18:48.97
a Bible worker on us to try
to get us back. We weren't very
00:18:49.00\00:18:51.80
nice to him. We sent him out
the door and he was so mad going
00:18:51.83\00:18:54.97
down the steps he said later
I said God I don't care, let
00:18:55.00\00:18:57.87
him go to hell and I don't care.
But he came back and he put
00:18:57.90\00:19:00.55
his card in my bib overalls
and said, Some day you're going
00:19:00.58\00:19:03.63
to need me. We had long hair;
this was back in the early 70's.
00:19:03.67\00:19:07.02
We were on drugs. Sure enough
that night as we talked, we said
00:19:07.05\00:19:10.37
you know, maybe love is the
answer. We knew from growing
00:19:10.40\00:19:14.12
up in little classes and
Pathfinders and everything that
00:19:14.16\00:19:17.29
God was love. So we gave
our hearts to Jesus that night.
00:19:17.33\00:19:20.74
I tell you, that guy started
studying the Bible with us and
00:19:20.77\00:19:23.45
we got involved in a little
church that was just on fire
00:19:23.48\00:19:26.45
with love. I just long for
that in all the churches I know
00:19:26.48\00:19:29.18
in my church that we will take
people in even if they've got
00:19:29.22\00:19:31.97
long hair, beards and look like
they crawled out up from under a
00:19:32.00\00:19:34.71
rock like we did at that
time. Just to love and care and
00:19:34.75\00:19:38.87
embrace us. Six months later
I was rebaptized and this time
00:19:38.91\00:19:42.29
it was for real and I began
to really come to know Jesus.
00:19:42.32\00:19:46.48
Finally, you asked me earlier
about coming to the Lord and
00:19:46.52\00:19:49.29
getting called to ministry.
About six months later I went
00:19:49.32\00:19:52.84
to Andrews and, you know, was
felt called to ministry and got
00:19:52.87\00:19:56.35
involved. I guess about
five years ago I became perfect
00:19:56.39\00:19:59.41
wasn't it Janet. No
life's been a constant wakeup
00:19:59.44\00:20:02.39
call all the way along you know.
But it just began that way.
00:20:02.43\00:20:05.60
Okay, so the Lord really
got your attention, opened your
00:20:05.63\00:20:08.32
blind eyes, turned you
from darkness to light, from the
00:20:08.36\00:20:12.24
power of Satan to him. Now
When you are married to Janet
00:20:12.28\00:20:16.16
and you're now out as a
conference leader and people
00:20:16.19\00:20:20.00
are praying for you... were
you at that time praying daily
00:20:20.04\00:20:23.34
for the Holy Spirit in your
life? Or before these people
00:20:23.37\00:20:26.33
started praying for you. I
mean, is that something you were
00:20:26.36\00:20:29.28
really cognizant of doing?
00:20:29.32\00:20:31.43
Well, I was trying to have my
devotional time and was trying
00:20:31.47\00:20:34.66
to be a spiritual guy, you know,
and wanted to be a spiritual
00:20:34.69\00:20:37.56
pastor but praying for the
Holy Spirit, every day for the
00:20:37.60\00:20:40.40
baptism of the Spirit, not like
that and really was running a
00:20:40.44\00:20:43.66
lot of things on my own power.
You know, praying some, talking
00:20:43.70\00:20:46.48
about prayer but talking about
it more than I was doing it.
00:20:46.52\00:20:49.23
So again, as Janet went through
this experience and really began
00:20:49.27\00:20:53.23
to get alive with God and
was getting up so early in the
00:20:53.27\00:20:56.34
morning, it really began
to start some things in me and
00:20:56.38\00:20:59.15
some of them were good and
some of them were bad. You know,
00:20:59.19\00:21:01.98
when one person starts to really
grow in God I discovered that
00:21:02.02\00:21:04.45
walls of resistance grow up in
somebody else. You know, she's
00:21:04.48\00:21:06.91
getting up earlier than me
now and of course, I don't have
00:21:06.94\00:21:10.17
any male pride but you know,
I was thinking, God if she's
00:21:10.21\00:21:13.02
so spiritual, you know...
One meeting we were at I said,
00:21:13.06\00:21:15.47
God if she's so spiritual how
come she can't get along with
00:21:15.51\00:21:17.89
so-and-so. She had a
real relationship problem with
00:21:17.93\00:21:20.24
someone we knew. So anyway
a lot of things were going on
00:21:20.27\00:21:23.56
in me, but it was God waking
me up at another step in the
00:21:23.60\00:21:26.86
journey. What I
came to realize, this
00:21:26.89\00:21:30.59
relationship problem he's
talking about was partly what
00:21:30.63\00:21:33.62
was affecting my spiritual
life and why I couldn't accept
00:21:33.65\00:21:37.81
the fact that God had saved
me. You know what it says in
00:21:37.85\00:21:41.93
Matthew 6 there where it talks
about if we forgive others, the
00:21:41.97\00:21:46.68
Father will forgive us. Well it
is really true. I just did not
00:21:46.71\00:21:51.13
realize that. But part of what
had happened to me was I had
00:21:51.16\00:21:55.20
allowed this relationship issue
to become a real bitterness
00:21:55.23\00:21:59.23
inside of me, you know,
resentfulness. As I started
00:21:59.26\00:22:03.55
spending time with God in
the past before this time we're
00:22:03.58\00:22:07.51
talking about, I would give
up because God just kept working
00:22:07.54\00:22:10.80
on me, you know, you need to
make things right, you need to.
00:22:10.83\00:22:13.47
I'd say, you know, it's just
too hard, it's just too hard.
00:22:13.50\00:22:16.10
I finally said, you know, I
don't think Jesus could if he
00:22:16.13\00:22:19.65
were here. It's just too hard.
Because I knew if I went and
00:22:19.68\00:22:23.19
asked this other person's
forgiveness they'd never ask
00:22:23.23\00:22:25.68
mine. They'd probably not
think they did anything wrong.
00:22:25.72\00:22:29.87
So I didn't deal with it. I
didn't realize too that God's
00:22:29.90\00:22:34.21
word became boring to me,
it wasn't interesting and I got
00:22:34.25\00:22:37.31
those vicious cycles of
depression like I talked about
00:22:37.34\00:22:40.13
and I'd pray and I didn't
feel like my prayers went higher
00:22:40.17\00:22:43.16
than the ceiling, but I did
not connect it this bitterness.
00:22:43.20\00:22:46.16
After God started moving
on me because the people in
00:22:46.20\00:22:51.11
Pennsylvania were praying
for me, he once again started
00:22:51.14\00:22:55.61
working on me about it. I
kept saying, Later, God, later.
00:22:55.65\00:22:59.20
I don't want to deal with it
here. I was meeting with a group
00:22:59.24\00:23:02.76
that he literally had put
together for me to pray about
00:23:02.80\00:23:06.56
this women's retreat coming up.
One of the times I was praying
00:23:06.59\00:23:09.60
Lord help these women. They
need to be converted, bring them
00:23:09.63\00:23:13.19
spiritual revival God. Then God
started, you know, I don't hear
00:23:13.23\00:23:16.31
voices but just that impression
in my mind, If you want me to
00:23:16.35\00:23:19.88
help these women let's work on
your life first. And I'm going
00:23:19.91\00:23:22.82
oooo, because I knew he was
referring especially to this one
00:23:22.85\00:23:25.72
problem and it was so loud
I was embarrassed because I
00:23:25.76\00:23:28.32
thought they could hear
it and I opened my eyes but
00:23:28.36\00:23:30.89
everybody's like
this, you know, praying.
00:23:30.92\00:23:31.94
She does hear voices a lot. No!
00:23:31.97\00:23:35.78
You're hearing that still small
voice of the Lord where the
00:23:35.82\00:23:38.41
Holy Spirit impresses
that thought on your mind.
00:23:38.44\00:23:41.02
But I kept procrastinating,
putting it off. I said, you
00:23:41.06\00:23:44.98
know... I wouldn't deal with
it till we were at this meeting
00:23:45.01\00:23:49.08
that was on prayer and Jerry
was feeling really funny. I
00:23:49.11\00:23:53.11
figure out what was wrong with
him but he didn't talk about it.
00:23:53.15\00:23:56.39
Is it that male pride, you're
watching her and saying if she's
00:23:56.42\00:23:59.23
so spiritual what's wrong.
At the meeting they were calling
00:23:59.27\00:24:02.22
us to have a lot more prayer,
be more spiritual and, again,
00:24:02.26\00:24:05.24
I'm a spiritual leader, I've
had pastor's retreats with a lot
00:24:05.27\00:24:07.37
of prayer and things like that.
I'm thinking, you know, I don't
00:24:07.41\00:24:09.46
need anybody telling me to
be more spiritual. I think I'm a
00:24:09.50\00:24:11.51
pretty spiritual guy and
she's getting up so early in the
00:24:11.54\00:24:14.34
morning way ahead of me and
I was feeling a little guilty
00:24:14.37\00:24:16.99
and resistant of that. But
I didn't know that; I didn't
00:24:17.03\00:24:20.88
know what was wrong. One
morning there God had been
00:24:20.92\00:24:24.70
waking me up so early, and I am
not an early morning person. But
00:24:24.74\00:24:27.71
over the years because of God
waking me up I've become one.
00:24:27.74\00:24:31.09
Because, you know, he gets you
up. If you ask him to he'll do
00:24:31.13\00:24:34.78
it. So he woke me up early and
I went into the bathroom to try
00:24:34.81\00:24:38.42
spend this time with him
because I didn't want to wake
00:24:38.46\00:24:40.43
Jerry up. It was still dark, you
know, and I'm in there trying
00:24:40.47\00:24:43.60
to have time and the times
with God had become so precious.
00:24:43.64\00:24:46.65
Remember, I said it took a
few weeks for it to happen, they
00:24:46.68\00:24:49.56
became so incredible. He just
literally will wrap you in his
00:24:49.60\00:24:53.57
love. I hunger for more and more
of it, you know. It's like 30
00:24:53.60\00:24:57.07
minutes isn't enough, you want
hours to be in his presence.
00:24:57.10\00:25:00.46
Just let him talk to you, let
him love you and just let him
00:25:00.49\00:25:03.72
speak to you through his word.
So I'm in the bathroom there
00:25:03.76\00:25:07.04
trying to do this and I don't
feel like God's there. I said,
00:25:07.08\00:25:10.76
God, where are you? Why
aren't you here? Just that faint
00:25:10.80\00:25:14.69
impression comes go call
this person now. God was wanting
00:25:14.73\00:25:18.95
me to get this situation right.
I'm going, Why don't you get
00:25:18.98\00:25:22.42
them to call me? They're
the one who did all these wrong
00:25:22.46\00:25:25.83
things. They did this and this
and this. I didn't do anything.
00:25:25.86\00:25:30.16
Yah, I may have been a little
whatever but I wasn't that bad.
00:25:30.20\00:25:33.85
In fact, I told God, You know,
I started trying to be really
00:25:33.88\00:25:36.98
nice a few months ago because
I wanted you to bless my women's
00:25:37.02\00:25:40.38
retreat. It was like God would
not argue with me. There was
00:25:40.42\00:25:43.75
nothing. So, at that point
I did not want to lose that
00:25:43.78\00:25:47.40
experience I was having with
God. It gave me the whatever I
00:25:47.44\00:25:50.95
needed, motivation to go call
this person. Now I went to a pay
00:25:50.98\00:25:54.46
phone down the hall because
I didn't want Jerry to hear.
00:25:54.50\00:25:57.43
It was embarrassing. As I'm
going there to get them on the
00:25:57.46\00:25:59.94
phone, you know, I'm going,
God, I hate this person. I don't
00:25:59.97\00:26:02.55
know what I'm going to do.
I'm just wringing my hands and I
00:26:02.59\00:26:04.36
said, You're going to have
to do it through me. Right as I
00:26:04.40\00:26:07.38
got them on the phone, I
was hoping they wouldn't be home
00:26:07.41\00:26:09.83
but of course it was too early
in the morning and they were,
00:26:09.87\00:26:13.29
I woke them up. It was a prayer,
Lord, I'm saying, help me, I
00:26:13.32\00:26:16.71
jump into asking their
forgiveness, God started
00:26:16.74\00:26:19.46
flooding me with many things
I needed to ask forgiveness for.
00:26:19.49\00:26:22.71
Just one thing after another.
I was in shock, but I kept
00:26:22.75\00:26:29.03
saying will you forgive me for
this as they'd come to my mind.
00:26:29.06\00:26:32.01
Will you forgive me for this.
The beautiful part to me was
00:26:32.05\00:26:35.45
it's like the hatred was just
washed out and the resentment
00:26:35.48\00:26:38.95
and I just felt like I was
being flooded with love for this
00:26:38.99\00:26:42.42
person. You know,
our time is coming to
00:26:42.46\00:26:46.24
such a close end here but
what it is God. The reason he
00:26:46.27\00:26:50.46
tells us to forgive others
is because unforgiveness in our
00:26:50.49\00:26:53.96
heart just, a little root
of bitterness in our heart, can
00:26:54.00\00:26:57.73
stop the flow of the Holy
Spirit through us. So God proved
00:26:57.76\00:27:01.46
himself to you. The
beautiful thing it was that
00:27:01.49\00:27:04.01
it was the night before this
happened that he did that and
00:27:04.05\00:27:06.24
so, for me it just brought down
those walls of resistance and
00:27:06.28\00:27:08.43
that's what God can do.
Glory to God. Glory to God.
00:27:08.47\00:27:11.30
You know, you all had so
much to share and I've got a lot
00:27:11.33\00:27:14.51
that I could share about this
lovely couple but you will come
00:27:14.55\00:27:18.09
back and do some more programs
won't you? Okay wonderful.
00:27:18.13\00:27:21.93
You know, we want to thank
you so much for tuning in today
00:27:21.97\00:27:25.74
and pray that you will tune
in again to hear Jerry and Janet
00:27:25.78\00:27:29.52
Page. This is a couple who
lives their life led by the
00:27:29.55\00:27:33.47
Holy Spirit because they spend
so much time in prayer and I've
00:27:33.51\00:27:37.94
been at camp meetings and
retreats and I know that they're
00:27:37.97\00:27:40.99
the most... Central California
camp meetings and retreats are
00:27:41.03\00:27:43.99
the most prayed up camp meetings
and retreats that there are.
00:27:44.03\00:27:46.96
Thank you so much
for being here today.
00:27:46.99\00:27:49.62
Thank you Shelley. Now
for those of you at home
00:27:49.66\00:27:51.28
May the grace of our Lord Jesus
Christ, the love of the Father
00:27:51.31\00:27:54.43
and the fellowship of the
Holy Spirit be with you always.
00:27:54.46\00:27:57.89