Participants: J.D. Quinn (Host), Mike and Gayle Tucker
Series Code: IAA
Program Code: IAA000265
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00:30 Hello, I am J.D. Quinn. This is "Issues and Answers."
00:34 Welcome today. We've got a wonderful topic. 00:37 We're going to be talking about 'Marriage.' 00:39 In fact, we're going to be talking 00:40 about the 'Spirituality in Marriage.' 00:43 So I just want all of you to listen closely 00:46 because this is going to touch each one of our hearts. 00:49 I always like to start with a scripture. 00:51 Today, our scripture is taken from Hebrews 13:4. 00:55 "Marriage should be honored by all, 00:58 and the marriage bed kept pure, 01:00 for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." 01:05 I want to welcome our guests today. 01:07 We have Pastor Mike and we have Pastor Gayle Tucker 01:12 from Arlington, Texas. That's right. 01:14 Tell us a little bit about yourself very quick. 01:16 Well, Gayle and I have been pastoring 01:18 in Arlington for 14 1/2 years. 01:21 And I also am a Speaker Director for Faith for Today. 01:25 And we have two adult daughters. 01:27 We are empty nesters. And what else? 01:30 You don't look old enough to be in here. 01:32 Aren't you nice? 01:36 No, believe me, we are-- 01:39 we've been married what? 31 years. 31 years. 01:41 My goodness. That's right. 01:42 Yeah, that's good. The Lord has been good. 01:44 Amen. They've been good years. 01:45 At least for me they have been good. 01:47 Oh, they're good. All right, good. 01:48 Yeah, I have to agree with that. 01:50 Oh, I know that both of you are very, very busy 01:52 and I also know that you put on a lot of seminars on top of, 01:57 you know, all of your church work and everything. 02:02 I know that in your marriage seminars 02:04 and you've also written a book about spirituality. 02:08 Exactly what do we mean by spirituality? 02:11 You know, sometimes it's easier to talk about 02:13 what spirituality is not before we talk about what it is. 02:16 What spirituality is not is Sabbath keeping. 02:21 Now Sabbath keeping may be 02:23 an expression of your spirituality, 02:25 but that is not primarily what it is. 02:27 It's not vegetarinasm. Amen. 02:30 It's not Streicher tendency, although, 02:33 those things may eventually be expressions of spirituality. 02:38 Sometimes we look at spirituality 02:39 as being those things or maybe an understanding 02:42 of end time events or an understanding 02:44 of doctrine or prophecy. 02:46 And those things maybe an expression of spirituality, 02:49 but they are not essentially spirituality. 02:52 Spirituality s one thing 02:54 and that is seeking the face of God. Amen. 02:58 To know Him, to experience Him, 03:00 to long for Him, to know Him intimately 03:04 that's spirituality to seek Him and to experience in Him. 03:09 Now this begins though by an understanding of the Gospel, 03:13 a recognition of our inability to be God our self, 03:18 a recognition of our need and our utter helplessness 03:21 when it comes to our salvation. 03:23 Our utter dependence upon God for our salvation. 03:27 It starts with recognizing 03:28 that He is supreme and we are not 03:31 and He saves us by His grace 03:33 not by our works, but by His grace. 03:35 Amen. That's were it begins. 03:37 Is knowing who He is and who we are. 03:39 We are sinners in need of His salvation. 03:42 And He is God and then we seek Him 03:44 and we long to experience Him. Amen. 03:47 That's the gospel right there, is it not? 03:49 Yes, it is. Amen. 03:50 How do we apply this to our marriage? 03:53 You know, it's for some reason it's difficult. 03:57 It seems like it's hard 03:59 to talk about spirituality with one another. 04:03 It's hard to have spirituality in your marriage. 04:07 And so people say, "Well, why, 04:08 you know, is that really necessary? 04:10 Can't we just love each other, you know. 04:11 Can we just, you know, do all the things 04:13 you're supposed to do in your house?" 04:16 But actually when we have spirituality, 04:19 when we are seeking the face of God, 04:22 then we are connecting ourselves with the source of life 04:26 and joy and love. Amen. 04:28 You know the Bible says, I've come that you may have life 04:31 and that you may have it abundantly. 04:34 And I'm telling you these things so that your joy may be full. 04:38 And what do we want in our marriage 04:40 is more than life and joy and love. 04:43 Very well plugged. 04:44 That's exactly what we're looking for. 04:46 And so when we're seeking the face of God 04:48 we are putting ourselves in connection with the one 04:50 who can provide those. 04:52 And yet that is difficult because spirituality means 04:55 that you have to be vulnerable and open. 04:58 There can be no hiddenness, can there? 05:00 We have to be open before our Lord 05:02 and if I'm going to share that with my wife 05:04 that means there's has to be an openness here. 05:06 She has to see that there are flaws in me 05:08 not that she would not see that already. Yes. 05:11 I mean, we've been living together 05:12 for 31 years in marriage. 05:14 So there's very few flaws that I have 05:16 that she's not aware of already, 05:18 but to admit that to her. 05:19 Sometimes is a difficult thing for me to do. 05:22 And, yeah, that's the key to spirituality, isn't it? 05:24 But when we have spirituality, 05:26 when we are seeking the face of God, 05:27 it fits us for relationship. 05:30 You know, when the Bible talks about the fruits of the spirit. 05:35 It says, love, joy, peace, long suffering, 05:38 gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. 05:42 If you just think about your home, 05:46 what more would you want than those things to be in your home. 05:50 That in your home-- it's a place of love. 05:52 It's a place of joy. It's a place of peace. 05:55 You know, we're seeking peace. 05:56 You're not going to find that out in the world. 05:59 You know, as much as you may have 06:01 colleagues or friends that you enjoy. 06:05 You can not trust that out there, 06:07 you're going to find a safe haven. No. 06:09 But when we are seeking the face of God, 06:12 when we allow the fruits of His Spirit to be a part of our home 06:17 then we will find that in our homes. 06:19 Amen. And those fruits-- 06:20 that's the result of seeking God's face. 06:23 That's not something that I can't drop on my own. 06:25 That I can produce in my home. 06:28 That's something that God gives to me as a gift, 06:32 as a result of having sought His face. 06:34 Because seeking His face to know Him 06:36 means that I'm going to become more like Him 06:38 and that makes me-- those things that we just talked about. 06:41 That produces those fruit in my life 06:43 and in your life and in our home. 06:45 And when we do marriage seminars, 06:48 you know, we'll ask people just close your eyes 06:50 and think about those fruits of the spirit 06:53 and imagine your home being a place 06:55 where there is patience, where there is gentleness, 06:59 you know, when someone speaks 07:01 they speak with gentleness, they speak with tenderness. 07:05 There is temperance. 07:07 In other words, there's a balance in things. 07:09 And it's just a beautiful thought, 07:12 a beautiful idea to know that those fruits 07:15 can be present in your home. 07:18 And the way that we find that is simply 07:21 by seeking God's face and doing that together. 07:24 It's not just-- I'm doing it over here 07:25 and Mike's doing it over here or you're doing it here 07:28 and Shelley's doing it over there, 07:30 you know, we're doing it together. Amen. 07:33 And it creates an atmosphere in your home 07:36 that you would desire. That's true. 07:39 What I'm picking up, you know, we all have different 07:42 guest terminology, but you're on the same page. 07:44 And there's a peace on being on the same page. 07:46 You know I guess that, you know, it certainly is biblical 07:49 that we want our will to line up the will of Jesus Christ. 07:52 You know, because then you have that peace, you know. 07:55 And so this is what we're talking about here. 07:58 Yeah. Go ahead. 08:01 Another benefit is that it gives you a foundation 08:05 upon which to make decisions in your home. 08:09 And we talked about this in another program that, 08:11 that sometimes we don't have any foundation 08:13 upon which to decide, which way we're going. 08:16 And if Christ is the foundation then you look in His word 08:21 and you're going to have a way to decide 08:24 what you're going to do in your family. 08:26 What you're going to do with your children? 08:27 What you're going to do in your home? 08:29 Another benefit of spirituality though is 08:32 it provides intimacy for the two of us. 08:35 You know, how can I expect to have intimacy with my wife 08:38 if we can't agree on the most basic, 08:40 the most tender, the most intimate thing in life 08:42 and that is to know and experience God. 08:45 But when we seek Him together 08:47 we are drawn closer to the center, 08:49 because Jesus Christ is the center of all things. 08:52 And as we do that then we come closer to each other, 08:54 don't we? Yeah. 08:55 And so when we find intimacy there-- 08:57 in Christ we have that closeness to each other then too. 09:01 It brings us closer together. 09:03 It helps us to find that intimate relationship. Amen. 09:06 I think the fourth benefit that we usually speak of is 09:11 that it provides an avenue for forgiveness. Yes. 09:15 You know the fact is you're married to an imperfect person 09:18 and your spouse is married 09:20 to an imperfect person. That's right. 09:21 And there are going to be so many times when-- 09:24 when you hurt one another, when there are injuries, 09:27 when there is just, you know, 09:29 an unkind word or there's something bigger. 09:31 And if there is no way to get rid of that 09:35 then its always going to be between you 09:38 and it's going to drive you apart. It will. 09:40 But, when you are seeking the face of God, 09:43 you're seeking the one who provides a way 09:47 to get rid of those things, 09:48 because He provides forgiveness 09:51 and you don't find that anywhere else. 09:53 No, you don't. 09:54 In fact, I read about an interview 09:56 that was done on British Television with a famous atheist 10:00 and her comment-- one comment was, 10:03 you know, I really admire you Christians for one thing. 10:06 She said, "I have no one to forgive me." 10:09 You know, as an atheist you don't. Wow, that's right. 10:11 You don't have anyone to forgive you plus, 10:13 you don't have anyone to help you forgive others. Amen. 10:16 The bitterness wells up inside of you. 10:18 If you're not forgiven, you're not likely to forgive others. 10:20 And so it's just builds and grows-- 10:22 So what do you do with it? 10:24 But Jesus says, "I will take that. 10:27 I will take it away and I'll make it right in the end, 10:30 you don't have to worry about it." 10:31 That's right. "I will do it." 10:33 And if you just trust Me you can hand it to me, 10:35 you don't have to carry it around. 10:37 If people could just understand that 10:40 and it is that simple. It is. 10:41 You know, if you will just surrender 10:43 and people don't understand exactly 10:44 the surrendering process, but it's just giving to Him 10:47 and let Him take those burdens. 10:49 You know, position yourself. 10:51 Let me fight that battle for you. That's right. 10:53 My goodness, how-- 10:55 It does. It changes everything. 10:56 It changes every perspective of your life, 10:59 every attitude of your life, it changes everything 11:02 because now you can go through life 11:04 and you're less critical of others. 11:06 You know, if I'm not forgiven 11:08 or if I'm afraid I'm not measuring up 11:10 which, you know, the Gospel takes care of. 11:13 It says, you don't measure up and it's all right 11:15 because Jesus Christ is measured up for you. 11:17 But if I don't know that then I'm going 11:20 to enter into the comparison game. 11:22 And I want to say, well, I may be wrong here, 11:24 but you know, what? 11:25 You've got worst things going on in your life. 11:27 You're wronger. Yeah, you're wronger than I am. 11:30 You're worse than me. 11:31 And so we begin to, we cannibalize each other. Yes. 11:34 You've seen this in churches that are so legalistic 11:37 and so judgmental of one another that they eat each other alive. 11:43 And just devour one another. So sad. 11:46 When that takes place in your home, 11:48 there is no joy, there's no safety. 11:52 Legalism, I believe is the worst thing going. 11:56 I believe that is the antithesis of Christianity. 12:00 It is paganism, feeling that we basically have to earn our right 12:05 or do something in order to win the favor of God 12:08 and to be accepted by Him. 12:11 Basically, our acceptance is based 12:12 upon what Jesus has done for us and He changes us, 12:16 but He changes us to where we're more accepting of others 12:19 and we don't cannibalize one another. Amen. 12:21 We accept each other. Amen. 12:23 And I mean that's true love. Yes, it is. 12:26 You know, which is respect. 12:27 It's respect that 's just a bridge of it's own. 12:30 That's right. That's right. 12:31 You know, it's that safety net 12:33 that you're talking about, you know. 12:34 But even then we have to have practical means 12:36 of making this happen. Exactly. 12:38 So, you know, we can talk about 12:40 the principle of spirituality in seeking God's face, 12:43 but then how do you do this? 12:45 And for some reason it seems like 12:47 it's hard to do in marriage. 12:49 You know, you would think we've talked about all the benefits, 12:52 should be easy, you know, I agree with all that, 12:54 I would love to have all those things in my life, 12:56 but why is it hard? 12:58 And I think the first reason it's hard is because 13:00 it's just at enmity with our natural spirit. 13:04 You know, we have a sinful spirit. 13:07 And so for us to be open and transparent 13:11 to another person in terms of our spirituality 13:14 is sometimes very difficult. It is. 13:16 We've talked to a lot of pastors and we've struggled 13:19 with this ourselves about praying together. 13:23 That it's sometimes difficult to pray together. 13:26 And we've met with different pastors groups 13:29 and they kind of, confess privately, 13:31 you know, what? It's hard for my wife and I 13:33 to pray together because that opens you up. 13:36 You know, when you open your heart before the Lord 13:39 and you pray together and you tell him what's in your heart. 13:43 And then your spouse sees you, go out and do something that's, 13:46 you know, completely opposite of that. 13:49 Then, you know, it seems to be-- it doesn't line up. 13:52 Well, it's just being double-minded. 13:54 Yes, yes. Yes. 13:55 And yet we all are. Yes. 13:57 You know, there's not one of us that's perfect. That's right. 14:00 And so that double mindedness is there in us. 14:03 And certainly our spouse is going to see that. Yes. 14:06 Certainly, the Lord does. And that's a part of this-- 14:09 And, of course, that creates confusion 14:11 and we certainly know, you know, 14:12 that God is not the author of confusion. 14:14 And so just bringing that together it's back in there, 14:18 being on the same page and so. 14:20 So we're talking about the practical aspects. 14:22 Right. Yes. 14:23 So practically how did you this? 14:25 I think you start personally and that is learning 14:27 how to seek God's face 14:29 and that means receiving the Gospel, 14:31 recognizing that you've been accepted, 14:33 you are forgiven, your salvation is secure, 14:36 you can trust Jesus for that. 14:38 And then we grow in Him personally by experiencing Him, 14:41 by practicing what we would call 14:42 spiritual habits or spiritual disciplines. 14:46 Prayer, meditation, worship, giving, praise, 14:51 those kinds of things which-- 14:52 in fact, I've got a book coming out on that 14:54 this Spring entitled "Every Good Thing." 14:57 It's looking at those spiritual habits that we form. 14:59 It's found in the Book of Psalms. 15:01 So we do that individually, 15:03 but then we need to do it together. 15:05 And we begin to share our walk with each other. Yeah. 15:09 And I think one thing to do 15:11 is just to start with small things. 15:13 If this is not something that a person-- 15:15 that a couple has done a whole lot of, start small. 15:19 If I have a devotional thought in the morning 15:23 that I read and it means something to me. 15:26 Then I can say, you know, I read this thing this morning, 15:29 what do you think about this? 15:31 And just share-- if a prayer has been answered. 15:35 You know, I was doing such and such today 15:37 and I know that the Lord answered my prayer 15:40 and I want you to hear about it. Right. 15:42 And share those things. 15:43 Share your journey with your spouse. 15:45 I know, Shelley, does that with me, you know. 15:47 She gets up little earlier than I do 15:49 and whenever I get up if she's read something that's special. 15:53 She says, "You've got to hear this 15:54 and she has to dominate it and it really is a precious... 15:57 Yeah, it is precious. 15:59 You know, it's nice that she thinks enough of me 16:03 and it's nice that I think enough of her 16:04 that we will both take that time out and-- 16:06 That's true. And unless that-- 16:08 Share that with each other. Yeah. 16:09 Listen and experience that together. 16:12 Gayle quite often will get up early in the morning 16:14 and I think it's important to have a place 16:17 for your quiet time and Gayle uses our walk-in closet. 16:22 You know, they say pray in the closet, I do-- 16:23 That's what she does. Wow. So you do it literally. 16:25 So she's sitting on the floor of the closet, 16:27 crosslegged with a Bible in her lab, you know-- 16:29 Well, I got started with that 16:31 because when our children were home, 16:33 there was just no place to be, 16:35 where there wasn't someone else except the closet, 16:37 so that was it. She goes in the closet. 16:39 And so I can remember getting ready one morning 16:41 thinking she was already gone 16:43 and I walked into the closet and there she sits, 16:45 I nearly stumbled over, you know. 16:47 Well, I don't want to disturb her, 16:48 but let me grab my pants. I need to get a shirt. 16:52 But still it's an exciting thing to know 16:54 that my wife is seeking God's face 16:56 and that she is doing that on a daily basis. 16:59 For her to know that I'm doing the same thing, 17:01 that I'm reading through scripture, 17:02 that I'm trying to figure out what God wants from me 17:05 and then to be able to share that together to read a passage. 17:08 You know, this is what I'm studying today 17:10 and this is what it means to me. 17:12 I haven't known either one of you very long, 17:14 but I've spend enough time to know 17:16 how special your relationship is with each other. 17:20 And I know that, that doesn't happen accidentally. No. 17:23 I know that it does take work. 17:25 But I'm beginning to see how all that comes together 17:28 because you have focalized in, on the Lord Jesus 17:32 as being the focal point of your relationship. 17:35 Oh, He has blessed us in a way that's just amazing. 17:39 It is like He just picked us up and put us together 17:41 and our relationship is to His credit. 17:46 It is. It's to His glory. 17:48 Another thing, that we can do together 17:51 I think is simply to share our ministry together. 17:54 To have something that you do as a family or as a couple 17:58 that is reaching outside of yourself. 18:00 And it can be something you do at church. 18:03 It can be something you do in the community. 18:05 But certainly all of us need to be involved 18:07 in some form of ministry, 18:09 some form of working out for others. 18:13 This is what God has done for us. 18:14 It can be something like bringing food to people 18:18 or it can be sharing your walk with others 18:22 and sharing a Christian track with Him 18:24 or giving Bible studies 18:26 or something you do at the church. 18:28 Maybe you can teach a Sabbath school class together 18:31 or you're in charge of a youth group. 18:33 Gayle and I've done that together. 18:35 At times, in our church even as large as it is, 18:38 there have been times when we didn't have 18:39 an early teen leader, 7th and 8th grade, 18:41 you know, and that frightened some people. 18:43 And so Gayle and I have taken it over. 18:45 We've done that at times for a 12-month-period, 18:47 18-month-period and other times for 2 or 3 months. 18:50 We just thoroughly enjoy that. We enjoy the kids. 18:53 And we-- again, we have three services at our church. 18:56 The middle service I don't usually preach at, 18:58 sometimes I do, but not usually. 19:00 And so I'll preach first service, 19:02 we'll run over and do early teen Sabbath school 19:04 and then we'll run back and do the last service together. 19:07 And it's just-- it really is a lot of fun. 19:09 Planning for that and doing it together. It is. 19:11 I know a lot of people tell me they will feel, 19:13 "Well, I'm inadequate 19:14 'cause I don't really know enough." 19:16 So they don't want to maybe get into the teaching right now. 19:18 But, the ones that I have talked to, 19:21 they love being greeters. Yes. That's right. 19:23 Because they get to meet everybody. Perfect. 19:26 And so you know, that's a good place to start, right there. 19:29 Oh, it's one of the most pleasant things you can do 19:31 and most important. Yes, it is. 19:33 First impressions come from those meetings. That's right. 19:35 We've got families that do that together. 19:37 Mom, dad, the kids, you know, they'll take over a Sabbath 19:40 and greet that Sabbath 19:42 and it's really neat to see that families, 19:43 they welcome you and-- That's right. 19:45 Just do something kind for your neighbors, 19:47 you know, that's another way to minister together. 19:50 And it doesn't have to be that, 19:52 "Oh, I don't know how to go give them a Bible study." 19:54 It doesn't have to be that. 19:55 Just share God's love in some practical way. 20:00 I know one situation here, is we have a lady here 20:03 that bakes bread and I'll never forget 20:06 the time when she brought that first loaf of bread. 20:09 I mean, it's funny the things that we remember, 20:12 but I'll never forget that. You know, I mean, just... 20:15 When I used to be a hospital chaplain 20:18 and when I was doing that-- 20:19 it was my job to do the grief recovery programs 20:22 and we did five weeks of grief recovery, four times a year. 20:26 And every time I did this, we were having 60, 20:28 80 or 100 people come to these things. 20:31 And every time I did one of these things, 20:32 one woman in particular was there every quarter. 20:36 And she would come and sit next to someone 20:38 for the entire five weeks. 20:40 And the next quarter, she would be sitting next to someone else. 20:43 And the crowds were so large. 20:44 I didn't get a chance to talk to her. 20:46 And finally, I talked to her and she told me the story 20:48 of how her four-year-old son had died in an accident 20:52 and how difficult it was. 20:53 And she would come to grief recovery 20:55 and really was not doing well and finally she made a surrender 20:59 and she started saying her goodbyes 21:01 to her son and her relationship. 21:03 But what she did from then on is that basically 21:06 she would bring her neighbors to grief recovery. 21:08 Anyone who would have a loss in their family, 21:11 anyone at her church or in her family 21:13 who would have a loss, her ministry was to say, 21:16 "I want you to come with me to grief recovery." 21:18 She would pick them up and bring them and sit with them 21:20 and just love them through that process 21:23 and that to her was a ministry. 21:24 It was such a wonderful ministry. 21:26 And every quarter, she bring someone else back. 21:29 And she would be sitting there with them 21:30 through that grief experience, just loving them. 21:32 Amen. Amen. So that was a win-win situation. 21:34 Yes, that's right. Amen. 21:36 So having a ministry that you can do together 21:38 is just key to finding that intimacy together 21:42 and to grow in together in Christ. 21:44 I think that also attending worship services together 21:48 is another thing that you do in order to, 21:51 to build that spirituality 21:52 because there you worship God together, 21:54 you praise him together, 21:55 you sing the hymns together, 21:57 you can talk about the sermon together, 21:58 as long as you're talking positively about it, you know. 22:01 If you go home and you roast the preacher, 22:03 this does not enhance spirituality, you know. 22:05 You know, that's good. 22:07 But to talk about what you have learned today 22:10 and to worship together 22:11 and to enjoy that experience together 22:13 is another way of enhancing your spirituality 22:16 together as a couple. 22:18 You know, another thing that we have 22:20 as a benefit in being married 22:22 is that we can be accountability partners for one another. 22:25 Yeah, it's so important. 22:27 You know, there are so many areas in spirituality 22:29 when you say, you know, 22:31 I really want to do better in this area, 22:34 can you help me with that? 22:35 Or would you just ask me everyday, 22:40 have you read anything today from the scripture 22:43 that meant something to you? 22:44 And that's a reminder that you know 22:46 what I need to be in God's Word today. That's right. 22:50 And we can serve as accountability partners 22:52 for one another and... 22:54 There are some people who want to service 22:55 as an accountability partner 22:57 without their partner's permission. 22:59 That's not a good plan. No. 23:01 You know if you haven't invited me and I say, 23:03 "Are you reading your Bible today?" 23:06 That's not it. No. 23:07 That's not what we were talking about. 23:09 We are talking about two people agreeing. Yes. 23:11 This is something I need help in and you can help me. 23:13 Would you do so by asking me this question on a daily basis? 23:17 And I found that most people that really respect each other 23:20 and can trust each other, you know, they wont-- 23:23 they're asking their mate, 23:25 you know, how can I improve myself? 23:27 Right. You know, where am I? 23:29 How did I do this time, you know? 23:30 What-- could you see Jesus in me? 23:32 That's right. And I mean those are important. 23:34 Have you trust your mate? 23:36 Now your mate has to be honest enough 23:37 so that you have to have that relationship, 23:39 so that you're not intimated 23:41 that you can take the pros with the corns, 23:43 you know, but-- That's right 23:44 That's right and sometimes that's hard 23:46 because we want to look good all the time. 23:48 We don't want to have them one up us 23:50 or anything like that, you know. 23:52 But we need to be open and honest enough 23:54 that when they say, you know, 23:57 I didn't think that what you did there was the best, 24:00 that we are willing to take that. Right. 24:02 And it is not always easy. No, it's not. 24:04 Men in particular want to be admired 24:06 and respected by their wife. 24:08 And when she's sharing something with me, 24:11 where maybe I did not meet the full goal 24:16 that can be intimidating to me and it can make me feel 24:20 that I'm being judged or criticized. 24:22 And so it's a delegate balance there, 24:24 but we have to be agreed together. 24:26 It has to be perfect trust in my heart towards Gayle. 24:29 In order for her to be able to say, 24:31 Mike, I don't want to be critical, 24:33 but this is an area we've talked about 24:35 and maybe that wasn't the best today, 24:37 what do you think? 24:39 And I think when we are talking about spirituality 24:40 it needs to be an invited thing. Invited thing. 24:43 You know, that he has asked me 24:45 to give him feedback in a certain area. Yes. 24:48 She can volunteer to do it. I don't know. 24:51 If I'm just saying, you know I don't like this 24:52 about what you are doing. 24:54 That's not going to help. It's not constructive. 24:57 And women unfortunately, we have a reputation for nagging 25:02 and there is nothing that will breakdown love 25:05 faster than nagging. Yes. 25:07 You know, the husband just wants to put a wall there 25:09 because I don't need to hear this. Right. 25:11 And if wives are looking for their husband 25:15 to be close and open and want to share spirituality 25:19 then you cannot nag because that will shut it down 25:22 faster than anything. 25:23 Yeah, nagging will not only shutdown spirituality, 25:26 but it tends to make a man feel less of the man. Yes. 25:29 And that's not something you want either with your husband. 25:31 You want him to be a man and to feel like that 25:34 that he is God's man for this house. 25:37 So it has to be an invited thing, doesn't it? 25:39 Yes, it does. 25:40 It's a delicate situation there, 25:41 you know, but you got to start some place 25:44 and I think because of the respect 25:46 and it works itself out. 25:47 You know, but it is a delicate situation. 25:50 I think also planning to have family worship 25:53 is another key element for having the spirituality. 25:58 We have talked about having in individual worship 26:00 and asking each other, 26:01 but then to have an opportunity to, 26:03 as a family come together and to worship. 26:07 And when children are small, this can be more of a playtime. 26:10 You sing songs, we used to use the felts with our kids, 26:13 you know, to have family worship or we would do-- 26:16 We used the back of the couches, 26:17 the felt board, you know-- That's right. 26:19 Or we would play Bible Charades and the kids really enjoyed that 26:23 as we would act out a Bible story 26:24 and the other two would have to guess what it was. 26:28 Man, we're running out of time. 26:31 This is a subject, you know. 26:34 Well, marriage in itself is just a wonderful subject. 26:36 We've got probably about 60 or 70 seconds left here. 26:40 Wrap this up. 26:42 Spirituality is essential for our marriages. 26:45 It's absolutely essential because the only way 26:47 that we can truly find intimacy together 26:50 is by finding intimacy with Christ. 26:52 And we do that by seeking His face, 26:55 by understanding and accepting the Gospel, 26:57 receiving His forgiveness for our sins. 26:59 And then sharing that with each other 27:01 and growing together. 27:02 That's true spirituality. Amen. Amen. 27:05 Gayle, what do you think? 30 seconds. 27:08 I think that as we do that as we seek God's face 27:10 that we need to remember that He will grant us His Spirit 27:14 and the fruits of that spirit will shine out in our homes 27:18 and we will feel that love and joy and peace 27:21 and patience and all of those things 27:23 that are such a blessing and the things 27:25 that we would want in a perfect marriage. 27:27 That's right. Amen. 27:29 This has been a wonderful time. 27:31 I just thank you for being here. 27:33 Pastor Mike, Pastor Gayle, 27:35 and I just want to thank each one of you. 27:38 We love you here at 3ABN. 27:40 Glad that you were able to watch us today 27:42 on "Issues and Answers." 27:44 I want you to remember 27:45 the will of God for each one of us is to rejoice always. 27:49 Pray without ceasing and give all thanks to Him 27:53 because He is our Lord and our Savior. 27:55 Amen. That's right. |
Revised 2014-12-17