IAAOOO241 00:00:01.98\00:00:02.95 Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn, and welcome again to 00:00:29.55\00:00:31.91 Issues and Answers. 00:00:31.94\00:00:33.00 Let me share a scripture with you from Galatians 6:22. 00:00:33.03\00:00:37.06 The Bible says the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, 00:00:37.09\00:00:40.96 patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, 00:00:40.99\00:00:45.54 and self control. 00:00:45.57\00:00:46.71 When God is working in your life, and the Holy Spirit is 00:00:46.74\00:00:50.38 indwelling you, what will be your inward response? 00:00:50.41\00:00:54.20 Your contentment, will be the love, joy, and peace 00:00:54.23\00:00:57.41 of the Lord. 00:00:57.44\00:00:58.41 The patience, kindness, and goodness is an outward 00:00:58.42\00:01:01.30 expression of the Holy Spirit living in your life that we 00:01:01.33\00:01:05.14 actually are demonstrating to mankind. 00:01:05.17\00:01:07.68 Then the faithfulness, the humility, and the self control 00:01:07.71\00:01:11.27 is how we respond to God. 00:01:11.30\00:01:14.08 I am so excited today! 00:01:14.11\00:01:15.61 We're going to be talking about not letting anyone 00:01:15.64\00:01:19.50 steal your joy. 00:01:19.53\00:01:21.00 And it is my great pleasure to introduce to you someone who 00:01:21.03\00:01:25.56 is a relatively new friend of mine, but a sister in Christ. 00:01:25.59\00:01:29.06 I want to welcome Heather Dawn Small who is the Director of 00:01:29.09\00:01:33.28 Women's Ministries for the General Conference of the 00:01:33.31\00:01:35.91 Seventh-day Adventist Church. 00:01:35.94\00:01:37.59 Heather it's a joy to have you here. 00:01:37.62\00:01:40.62 Thank you. 00:01:40.65\00:01:41.62 I'm glad to be here. 00:01:41.63\00:01:42.60 Now how long have you been Director for Women's Ministries? 00:01:42.61\00:01:45.55 I'm been Director since the year 2005, and before that I was the 00:01:45.58\00:01:50.02 Associate Director. 00:01:50.05\00:01:51.11 And you came from? 00:01:51.14\00:01:53.13 The island of Trinidad and Tobago where I was the 00:01:53.16\00:01:55.74 Union Director for Women and Children's Ministries. 00:01:55.77\00:01:58.72 So you've been involved with Women's Ministries for a 00:01:58.75\00:02:01.44 very long time. 00:02:01.47\00:02:02.44 I know this is a passion of your heart. 00:02:02.45\00:02:04.73 Definitely! 00:02:04.76\00:02:05.73 But when I look at you, Heather, and having met you previously, 00:02:05.74\00:02:10.39 you are a person who is filled with joy. 00:02:10.42\00:02:13.17 We can track this back though. 00:02:13.20\00:02:16.20 Sometimes people think that just because you see someone who 00:02:16.23\00:02:19.43 is joyful, you think they must never have trials 00:02:19.46\00:02:23.61 and tribulations in their life. 00:02:23.64\00:02:25.11 But in 1985 something devastating happened to you, 00:02:25.14\00:02:29.74 and I would like for you to tell us about that incident. 00:02:29.77\00:02:33.67 Well, if we can back track two weeks before that, 00:02:33.70\00:02:36.96 I'll tell you what happened prior to that. 00:02:36.99\00:02:39.00 My husband and I had been having a rough time 00:02:39.03\00:02:41.75 with our marriage. 00:02:41.78\00:02:43.09 We had gotten married in 1979. 00:02:43.12\00:02:45.36 We had two beautiful children: my son who was, at that time 00:02:45.39\00:02:49.19 in 1985, was 4 and a few months, and my daughter who was 2. 00:02:49.22\00:02:54.51 Two weeks before the event in 1985 my husband and I were on 00:02:54.54\00:03:00.40 the brink of breaking up. 00:03:00.43\00:03:02.50 We had discussed it and I remember it was New Years Eve 00:03:02.53\00:03:06.49 and we had decided we were not going into the New Year with 00:03:06.52\00:03:09.55 things the way they were. 00:03:09.58\00:03:10.69 We just decided, okay, that's it, Lord. 00:03:10.72\00:03:12.97 Forget this! 00:03:13.00\00:03:14.16 We're going our separate ways and I, of course, said, 00:03:14.19\00:03:16.91 the children stay with me. 00:03:16.94\00:03:17.98 He could go wherever he wanted to. 00:03:18.01\00:03:20.50 We just didn't have that love for each other anymore 00:03:20.53\00:03:23.70 with all the bickering and all the sadness which had gone on. 00:03:23.73\00:03:27.91 But something happened because I remember at the end of that 00:03:27.94\00:03:33.01 conversation, I remember my husband asking me, 00:03:33.04\00:03:35.05 What do you want to do? 00:03:35.08\00:03:36.05 I said, Well, I've already said what I want to do. 00:03:36.06\00:03:38.00 He said, Well, yeah, but I'm asking you again, 00:03:38.03\00:03:40.33 what do you really want to do?" 00:03:40.36\00:03:42.13 I remember thinking okay, what do I really want to do? 00:03:42.16\00:03:46.05 I really want to leave, but the training that I had been brought 00:03:46.06\00:03:51.41 up with, because I had grown up in this church, kicked in. 00:03:51.44\00:03:54.35 The thought came, can I really walk away without giving God 00:03:54.38\00:03:58.90 the final say? 00:03:58.93\00:04:00.01 So I said to him, "Well, I'll be willing to pray about this 00:04:00.04\00:04:03.00 one last time. " 00:04:03.03\00:04:04.00 And we did, and we pledged that every night, and every evening, 00:04:04.01\00:04:07.63 every night, and every morning, we would pray 00:04:07.66\00:04:10.48 about our relationship. 00:04:10.51\00:04:12.06 My prayer was simple, Lord I don't want to be here. 00:04:12.09\00:04:14.77 I want to get out of this. 00:04:14.80\00:04:16.04 But if You could somehow love this man through me, 00:04:16.07\00:04:19.05 then do it. 00:04:19.08\00:04:20.05 Really I was saying to God, I don't want You to do it. 00:04:20.06\00:04:23.25 Yes. 00:04:23.28\00:04:24.25 But God does His awesome things, so as the time passed over the 00:04:24.26\00:04:28.71 two weeks, my husband and I began to feel that love 00:04:28.74\00:04:31.84 for each other come back. 00:04:31.87\00:04:32.84 I remember one night we knelt to pray and we held hands. 00:04:32.86\00:04:36.56 But then two weeks after that particular event we had an 00:04:36.59\00:04:40.82 accident at my home, where my father's dog attacked my son. 00:04:40.85\00:04:44.94 We took him to the hospital, and they tried to save him, 00:04:44.97\00:04:50.26 and he died. 00:04:50.29\00:04:52.05 He was 4 years and a few months. 00:04:52.08\00:04:54.40 This was just two weeks away from the time we had decided 00:04:54.43\00:04:58.44 to give our lives back to the Lord, and let Him do 00:04:58.47\00:05:00.48 everything for us. 00:05:00.51\00:05:02.52 Well, praise the Lord that first God had gotten your attention, 00:05:02.55\00:05:06.67 and had started you all on the right path. 00:05:06.70\00:05:09.21 But, Heather Dawn, I know when you first shared this story with 00:05:09.22\00:05:13.03 me a number of months ago, I told you that there's one 00:05:13.06\00:05:17.04 thing that I had prayed since I was 13 years old was, 00:05:17.07\00:05:20.18 Lord, don't ever let me have a child if that child would 00:05:20.21\00:05:23.39 precede me in death, because I can't think of anything worse. 00:05:23.42\00:05:27.00 How did you, in this new relationship that you and your 00:05:27.03\00:05:31.56 husband were being bonded together again in love, 00:05:31.59\00:05:34.80 how did this effect you though to suddenly lose your child, 00:05:34.83\00:05:40.25 your baby, at 4 1/2 years old? 00:05:40.28\00:05:42.18 Did that create a problem in the marriage again? 00:05:42.21\00:05:44.43 Well, it didn't really. 00:05:44.46\00:05:46.17 It's interesting how God really works things out. 00:05:46.20\00:05:50.04 I know this may seem strange, but it is something that I need 00:05:50.07\00:05:53.00 to share because a few nights before my son died, 00:05:53.04\00:05:56.26 I had a dream. 00:05:56.29\00:05:57.26 I don't normally put any stock in dreams, but you know, 00:05:57.27\00:05:59.69 sometimes you have dreams of the end of the world, 00:05:59.72\00:06:01.73 and you're running, and racing, and trying to get away 00:06:01.76\00:06:05.01 and save yourself. 00:06:05.04\00:06:06.34 In the dream it was only my husband, my daughter, 00:06:06.35\00:06:10.25 and myself. 00:06:10.28\00:06:11.25 I remember we got to a point where we were at the... 00:06:11.26\00:06:14.94 It looked like the sea was there, and the people were 00:06:14.97\00:06:18.67 behind us screaming at us because we were Christians. 00:06:18.70\00:06:21.02 Then my husband said, Look, Jesus is coming! 00:06:21.05\00:06:24.55 But I didn't look at Him because over to the right, as I looked, 00:06:24.58\00:06:27.93 I saw an angel coming with my son. 00:06:27.96\00:06:29.94 I remember the next day I said to my husband, I don't think 00:06:29.97\00:06:33.15 Joey's going to be alive when Jesus comes. 00:06:33.18\00:06:35.08 He said, Why?, and I shared with him what I'd dreamed. 00:06:35.11\00:06:38.82 He said, 'Hum, that's interesting. ' 00:06:38.85\00:06:41.08 So when the event took place about two or three more mornings 00:06:41.11\00:06:44.52 later, that dream came back to my mind. 00:06:44.55\00:06:47.45 It was as though God had put it there to kind of prepare me 00:06:47.48\00:06:50.70 that something was going to take place. 00:06:50.73\00:06:52.58 And even though I fell apart, I mean it was a disastrous 00:06:52.61\00:06:56.20 time for me. 00:06:56.23\00:06:57.20 Of course! 00:06:57.21\00:06:58.18 But there was that thing in my mind that, 00:06:58.19\00:07:00.01 yeah, but God's in control. 00:07:00.04\00:07:01.68 I don't know what's going on, and I don't know why, 00:07:01.71\00:07:03.81 but God's in control. 00:07:03.84\00:07:05.49 So my part was to go through that struggle. 00:07:05.52\00:07:09.51 My husband and I had a two week time where he sent me 00:07:09.54\00:07:13.08 by his sister because he thought I would need a little rest. 00:07:13.11\00:07:15.48 And it was during that time that I really connected with God 00:07:15.49\00:07:18.99 on my own. 00:07:19.27\00:07:20.24 I came back from my sister-in-law's home all pumped 00:07:20.25\00:07:24.29 up, and excited that I had renewed my relationship 00:07:24.32\00:07:27.20 with God, and that I was ready to go, and my husband was 00:07:27.23\00:07:30.85 in a slump because he had not had that experience. 00:07:30.88\00:07:34.54 But God had taken me aside and then sent me back to share it 00:07:34.57\00:07:37.77 with him, and it was awesome. 00:07:37.80\00:07:40.63 So this dream you received was like a message of hope from God, 00:07:40.66\00:07:47.19 a message of joy. 00:07:47.22\00:07:48.19 That I'd see him again. 00:07:48.20\00:07:49.42 You know though, have you ever considered, and I'm sure 00:07:49.45\00:07:51.74 you have, and particularly when you're dealing in 00:07:51.77\00:07:54.53 Women's Ministries, how do women, how does anyone, 00:07:54.56\00:07:58.62 whether it's a man or a woman, face these kind of life trials 00:07:58.65\00:08:02.76 without God? 00:08:02.79\00:08:03.76 Without hope that they will be reunited with their loved ones? 00:08:03.77\00:08:07.47 That's right! 00:08:07.50\00:08:08.47 And that is what brought me to the first thing, which I want to 00:08:08.48\00:08:11.74 share with you, which is choice. 00:08:11.77\00:08:14.38 God gives all of us a choice, and I had to make a choice 00:08:14.41\00:08:17.95 because I remember one day, and it's strange how things, 00:08:17.98\00:08:21.81 even though you put things into perspective, you still have to 00:08:21.84\00:08:25.57 go through that period of mourning and loss. 00:08:25.60\00:08:29.54 Absolutely! 00:08:29.57\00:08:30.54 I remember every afternoon around the time of about 00:08:30.55\00:08:32.23 3:00 o'clock I'd steal away into a quiet bedroom, 00:08:32.26\00:08:35.56 and I would just cry my eyes out because I missed my son. 00:08:35.59\00:08:38.86 He was my first born. 00:08:38.89\00:08:40.25 Amen. 00:08:40.28\00:08:41.25 It was always around the time when I would be picking him 00:08:41.26\00:08:44.16 up and bringing him home from his day school. 00:08:44.19\00:08:46.47 And so I was crying and crying. 00:08:46.50\00:08:48.82 I did this for weeks. 00:08:48.85\00:08:50.04 Nobody knew. 00:08:50.07\00:08:51.04 I remember one afternoon I went into the room and as soon as I 00:08:51.05\00:08:54.49 closed the door I started to cry. 00:08:54.52\00:08:55.88 I sat on the bed and I had a pillow and I'd scream into 00:08:55.91\00:08:59.84 the pillow because it was just such pain. 00:08:59.87\00:09:01.92 Yes. 00:09:01.95\00:09:02.92 I said to God, I can't keep doing this because I felt myself 00:09:02.93\00:09:07.16 physically getting weaker. 00:09:07.19\00:09:09.03 I said, Lord, I can't keep doing this. 00:09:09.06\00:09:10.90 You've got to do something for me. 00:09:10.93\00:09:12.48 And as I said that my tears stopped and I began to think. 00:09:12.51\00:09:17.60 I said, You know, Lord, what am I going to do here? 00:09:17.63\00:09:20.28 I mean, I grew up in this church. 00:09:20.31\00:09:21.80 Everything that I believed in, at least that I thought 00:09:21.83\00:09:25.59 that I believed in, didn't seem to hold true because now 00:09:25.62\00:09:29.62 my son's dead. 00:09:29.65\00:09:30.62 And I need to know, and this is after I had given my life back 00:09:30.63\00:09:34.80 to Him, but there comes those times when you still have 00:09:34.83\00:09:38.04 your little doubts. 00:09:38.07\00:09:39.04 I said, I need to know. 00:09:39.05\00:09:40.28 Are you really going to be there for me? 00:09:40.31\00:09:42.10 I still have a daughter. 00:09:42.13\00:09:43.22 Who's going to look after her? 00:09:43.25\00:09:44.77 I can't lose her, too. 00:09:44.80\00:09:46.40 And I remember the Holy Spirit began to say to me, 00:09:46.43\00:09:50.31 Well, good things happen to everyone, and bad things happen 00:09:50.34\00:09:55.19 to everyone. 00:09:55.21\00:09:56.18 The person who is not a Christian loses their job, 00:09:56.19\00:09:59.55 and the Christian loses their job. 00:09:59.58\00:10:01.05 I thought about that and I said, You know, that's true. 00:10:01.08\00:10:03.44 And then the Spirit said to me, Yeah, and the person who is not 00:10:03.47\00:10:07.35 a Christian; they have disaster in their family, 00:10:07.38\00:10:10.85 and the Christian does as well. 00:10:10.88\00:10:12.66 I thought, yeah, you know, bad things happen to everyone. 00:10:12.69\00:10:16.40 Then I thought, well, what's the difference because if I'm going 00:10:16.43\00:10:19.95 to be a Christian, and bad things happen, 00:10:19.99\00:10:21.54 and I'm a non-Christian, and bad things happen, 00:10:21.57\00:10:23.62 what is the difference here? 00:10:23.65\00:10:25.75 And the Spirit said to me, The difference is 00:10:25.78\00:10:28.04 Christians have hope. 00:10:28.07\00:10:29.88 Amen! 00:10:29.91\00:10:30.88 And that made me come to choose. 00:10:30.91\00:10:34.90 I got to the point where I said, My choice is God. 00:10:34.93\00:10:38.35 Because without Him I would not have the hope of ever 00:10:38.38\00:10:42.02 seeing Joey again. 00:10:42.05\00:10:43.31 I wouldn't have the hope of living for eternity without 00:10:43.34\00:10:47.50 the pain and the sorrow, but if I stayed with God, 00:10:47.53\00:10:51.98 I would have it. 00:10:52.01\00:10:53.05 And then I wondered, how do people who do not have God 00:10:53.08\00:10:57.13 live with the troubles that happen in their lives? 00:10:57.16\00:11:01.09 The only thing I could think of is they turn to drink and drugs, 00:11:01.12\00:11:05.28 and try to keep themselves busy, and pleasures, and all sorts 00:11:05.31\00:11:09.43 of stuff, looking for that momentary time of joy 00:11:09.46\00:11:13.61 which they can only get if they give it all over to God. 00:11:13.64\00:11:17.22 So making that choice was the first thing for me; 00:11:17.25\00:11:20.33 choosing God. 00:11:20.36\00:11:21.33 So, and as you chose God, you know, He says in 00:11:21.34\00:11:25.09 Deuteronomy 30:19, He sets before us life and death. 00:11:25.12\00:11:28.46 Yes, He does. 00:11:28.49\00:11:29.46 And that's on a day by day basis. 00:11:29.47\00:11:30.93 We can either choose life, or choose death. 00:11:30.96\00:11:33.44 But as you were choosing God, and He helped you to return 00:11:33.47\00:11:38.42 your eyes to Him, trusting in Him, 00:11:38.45\00:11:40.74 did you find the promise of Isaiah 26:3 came true that 00:11:40.77\00:11:46.47 He promises to keep us in perfect peace when we keep our 00:11:46.50\00:11:50.60 minds steadfastly focused on Him. 00:11:50.63\00:11:52.48 Definitely! 00:11:52.51\00:11:53.48 That's when I began my joy walk. 00:11:53.49\00:11:54.60 That was the beginning. 00:11:54.63\00:11:55.86 That was when God first took me to Philippians, and from that 00:11:55.89\00:12:00.54 tine the word joy has become my trademark. 00:12:00.57\00:12:04.14 It's just, I wish my name was Joy. 00:12:04.17\00:12:06.61 I just love that word because it expresses that in spite of 00:12:06.64\00:12:10.83 everything else going on in my life, I can have joy, 00:12:10.86\00:12:14.21 which comes with peace. 00:12:14.24\00:12:16.18 It doesn't matter how bad things get, there is this thought 00:12:16.21\00:12:20.15 constantly in my mind, but God's in control. 00:12:20.16\00:12:23.05 And if He's in control, then I have nothing, really, 00:12:23.09\00:12:25.84 to get concerned about, even if it does turn out 00:12:25.87\00:12:28.69 for the worst. 00:12:28.72\00:12:29.69 So that reminds me of Nehemiah 8:10 that the joy of the Lord 00:12:29.70\00:12:32.38 will be your strength. 00:12:32.41\00:12:33.38 That's right, that's right. 00:12:33.39\00:12:34.57 Amen. 00:12:34.60\00:12:35.57 Well, tell us a little more about this joy walk. 00:12:35.58\00:12:37.29 Well, the next thing that I'd like to share with you is 00:12:37.32\00:12:40.02 the second point which I call What's your view? 00:12:40.05\00:12:43.41 Because as Christians we've got to look at this world through 00:12:43.44\00:12:47.25 different eyes than the person who is not a Christian. 00:12:47.28\00:12:50.71 As Christians we've got to see the world as God sees it. 00:12:50.74\00:12:55.53 That's one of the things that I pray for every day. 00:12:55.56\00:12:57.57 I say, Lord give me Your eye salve. 00:12:57.60\00:12:59.90 Help me to see the world as You see it. 00:12:59.93\00:13:02.61 Because, you see, if I look at it as I see it, I'm only going 00:13:02.64\00:13:05.37 to see pain, and hurt, and anger. 00:13:05.40\00:13:07.74 I'm going to see people who are hurting me, people who are 00:13:07.77\00:13:10.04 unkind to me, but I want to see the world as God sees it. 00:13:10.33\00:13:14.01 And so, because I ask for that, and He gives it to me, 00:13:14.04\00:13:18.71 when I look at situations I don't see the person who's 00:13:18.74\00:13:22.84 trying to hurt me, I see what's behind the person. 00:13:22.85\00:13:25.87 I see that demonic spirit who is trying to steal away my joy 00:13:25.90\00:13:31.62 because I've discovered that a joyless Christian is on his way 00:13:31.65\00:13:36.23 to losing his faith in God. 00:13:36.26\00:13:37.69 Amen! 00:13:37.72\00:13:38.69 That's why Satan wants to take away your joy. 00:13:38.70\00:13:40.59 And, you know, over the years as a Pastor's wife, 00:13:40.62\00:13:42.91 I remember that so many times my husband and I would go 00:13:42.94\00:13:46.16 and visit people who had left the church. 00:13:46.19\00:13:48.97 I would say 99% of the time it was because of something 00:13:49.00\00:13:53.69 which happened that stole their joy. 00:13:53.72\00:13:55.79 Whether it was their personal life, or something in the church 00:13:55.82\00:13:58.87 that discouraged them, and depressed them, 00:13:58.88\00:14:02.04 that caused anger, and that set them up then for Satan to just 00:14:02.07\00:14:06.19 step in and take away that faith in God which they had. 00:14:06.22\00:14:09.96 And you know what? 00:14:09.99\00:14:10.96 As we're discussing joy, let me ask you if you would 00:14:10.97\00:14:13.87 agree with this. 00:14:13.90\00:14:14.87 I tell people that we're not always going to be happy. 00:14:14.88\00:14:17.88 Happiness depends on circumstances, but we can 00:14:17.91\00:14:20.57 always have joy, which is one of the fruits of the Spirit. 00:14:20.60\00:14:24.37 We can always look to the Lord with that hope in our heart, 00:14:24.40\00:14:28.51 and the joy that He instills in us. 00:14:28.54\00:14:31.49 And something you said about asking God, you know you and I 00:14:31.52\00:14:36.09 have done so many similar things in our walk with the Lord. 00:14:36.12\00:14:39.88 I once had to go to the Lord and say, Father, help me to see 00:14:39.91\00:14:44.29 other people through Your eyes. 00:14:44.32\00:14:45.77 Which in II Corinthians 5:16 Paul says, We no longer look at 00:14:45.80\00:14:50.89 anyone from a human perspective. 00:14:50.92\00:14:52.69 We once looked at Jesus this way, but now we see people from 00:14:52.72\00:14:57.08 God's perspective. 00:14:57.09\00:14:58.46 That can help restore your joy faster than anything because 00:14:58.49\00:15:01.94 if you see someone as trying to harm you, and you see them 00:15:01.97\00:15:06.54 as being hateful, you may lose some of that joy. 00:15:06.57\00:15:10.09 But when you look at them through God's eyes, and see that 00:15:10.12\00:15:12.90 they are suffering, or they're lost, or it is a 00:15:12.93\00:15:16.34 spiritual battle that's going on, it kind of pumps you up 00:15:16.37\00:15:20.44 a little bit to see things from God's perspective, doesn't it? 00:15:20.47\00:15:23.54 It does, and you know joy, as you said, is not a constant 00:15:23.57\00:15:27.04 walk of, Oh, I'm constantly happy. 00:15:27.07\00:15:29.48 There are days when I am down. 00:15:29.51\00:15:31.10 There are days when I'm struggling with various issues. 00:15:31.14\00:15:33.49 Joy produces happiness, but happiness cannot produce joy, 00:15:33.52\00:15:37.78 because joy is that inner state of mind, I call it, that says, 00:15:37.81\00:15:42.27 no matter what's happening in my life, my connection to God 00:15:42.30\00:15:45.75 stays strong, and I know He's in control. 00:15:45.78\00:15:48.58 And even though I may be going through a joyless period in my 00:15:48.61\00:15:51.85 life, a time when I'm not bubbling over, and all excited, 00:15:51.88\00:15:55.36 that okay. 00:15:55.39\00:15:56.36 My joy is still there because Jesus is still there. 00:15:56.37\00:15:59.18 Amen. 00:15:59.21\00:16:00.18 So what you're saying is, if I'm hearing you correctly, 00:16:00.19\00:16:03.26 and correct me if I'm not, is that when you started this 00:16:03.29\00:16:06.62 joy walk with the Lord, it didn't mean that there 00:16:06.65\00:16:10.09 weren't other challenges that you've experienced. 00:16:10.12\00:16:12.37 It didn't mean that you stayed in a constant state of 00:16:12.40\00:16:15.33 happiness, but still you maintained that contented 00:16:15.36\00:16:20.08 state of joy inside. 00:16:20.11\00:16:21.93 Inside, that's right. 00:16:21.96\00:16:22.93 Very true! 00:16:22.95\00:16:23.92 And it always stays there with you, and it's why I can do 00:16:23.93\00:16:28.18 the things that I do, you know, travel, and leave my family 00:16:28.21\00:16:31.52 behind and not be worried about if my son's going to be okay, 00:16:31.55\00:16:34.62 or my daughter, or my husband. 00:16:34.66\00:16:36.62 I don't concern myself with that. 00:16:36.65\00:16:38.56 Even if something went wrong, and, you know, 00:16:38.59\00:16:41.80 God knows my heart. 00:16:41.83\00:16:42.80 I don't want anything to happen to any of my family, but if 00:16:42.81\00:16:46.54 something should go wrong, and I know Satan's always 00:16:46.57\00:16:50.87 out there trying to do his worst, yet inside I know 00:16:50.90\00:16:54.66 I'm going to be okay because God can take me through this. 00:16:54.69\00:16:58.40 Amen. 00:16:58.43\00:16:59.40 And the son you refer to now is a son that you had 00:16:59.41\00:17:02.53 after Joey's death. 00:17:02.56\00:17:04.17 Yes, yes, it is. 00:17:04.20\00:17:05.37 About a year after my son's death, we decided to try again 00:17:05.40\00:17:08.29 for another child, because we always wanted to have two kids, 00:17:08.32\00:17:11.15 But then I got in a car accident and as a result of the 00:17:11.18\00:17:14.15 car accident, I had to have surgery, and I couldn't have 00:17:14.18\00:17:17.88 any more kids. 00:17:17.91\00:17:18.88 I was determined. 00:17:18.89\00:17:21.09 I said, Lord, that's not the end of it. 00:17:21.12\00:17:23.08 I could adopt. 00:17:23.11\00:17:24.08 And so we began searching. 00:17:24.11\00:17:25.78 It was a couple of years, but then God brought this 00:17:25.81\00:17:29.82 precious son into our lives, and he is the joy of my life. 00:17:29.85\00:17:34.32 I said to him the other day, you know he's 16 now, 00:17:34.35\00:17:38.34 and we got him when he was about 2 1/2, and he's going 00:17:38.37\00:17:41.88 through his little ups and downs that teenagers go through. 00:17:41.91\00:17:44.75 I said to him, you know, I would not exchange you 00:17:44.78\00:17:49.30 for anything in the world. 00:17:49.33\00:17:50.61 Even if it meant I could have my first son back. 00:17:50.64\00:17:54.28 I would not have missed out on the opportunity, and the joy 00:17:54.31\00:17:58.93 of having you in my life. 00:17:58.97\00:18:00.47 Because, you see, I know I'm going to see my first son again, 00:18:00.50\00:18:02.73 but Jerry is here with us now. 00:18:02.76\00:18:05.63 The joy of having him with us is something that 00:18:05.66\00:18:08.56 I would not exchange. 00:18:08.57\00:18:09.59 What a precious thing to say to him. 00:18:09.62\00:18:11.82 I'm sure that those are words he will never forget. 00:18:11.83\00:18:14.57 I hope so. 00:18:14.60\00:18:15.57 But, you know, it occurs to me, Heather Dawn, as we're talking, 00:18:15.58\00:18:18.52 many people who had had a child taken so violently, 00:18:18.55\00:18:23.86 and that is a violent death, what Joey went through, 00:18:23.89\00:18:27.58 and then hoping to have another child so that they could have 00:18:27.61\00:18:34.17 the two they wanted, and ending up in a car accident that forced 00:18:34.20\00:18:38.30 this surgery. 00:18:38.33\00:18:39.30 Many people would have wanted to shake their fist 00:18:39.31\00:18:42.17 in God's face and say, you know, What good does it do 00:18:42.20\00:18:46.70 to serve You because look what's happening. 00:18:46.73\00:18:49.21 Did you ever, ever experience that moment where you could have 00:18:49.24\00:18:53.84 turned your back on the Lord easily? 00:18:53.87\00:18:55.68 Not then, No, and that's interesting. 00:18:55.71\00:18:58.44 I never even thought of it like that until you said it. 00:18:58.47\00:19:01.16 It was as though, okay, this door has closed, but there has 00:19:01.19\00:19:04.74 got to be some other window, because houses have windows, 00:19:04.77\00:19:07.04 and I'm looking for one. 00:19:07.07\00:19:08.04 And God just turned me in a different direction, 00:19:08.06\00:19:10.78 and I realized why, because it really wasn't necessary for me 00:19:10.81\00:19:15.39 to make another child in the way I thought I should 00:19:15.42\00:19:19.27 have a child, when God already had a wonderful child 00:19:19.30\00:19:22.33 waiting for me. 00:19:22.37\00:19:23.34 So it was fine. 00:19:23.35\00:19:25.16 It was fine. 00:19:25.19\00:19:26.88 Yeah. 00:19:26.91\00:19:27.88 Have you ever experienced anything after that where you 00:19:27.89\00:19:30.54 felt that you questioned God? 00:19:30.57\00:19:34.47 Well, I did go through a rough time in my life during the 19... 00:19:34.50\00:19:38.32 I would say it was about 1990-98 when I was going 00:19:38.35\00:19:45.06 through a very bad time physically. 00:19:45.09\00:19:46.67 I was suffering with depression. 00:19:46.70\00:19:49.56 My health wasn't good, and I went through a bad slump. 00:19:49.59\00:19:54.53 I remember that a family in our church had... 00:19:54.56\00:19:59.80 Their son had gotten in an accident on a Ferris Wheel. 00:19:59.84\00:20:05.79 They almost lost him, and God saved him. 00:20:05.82\00:20:08.92 I remember when the mother stood up in church praising God 00:20:08.95\00:20:12.13 for saving her son that the devil whispered in my ear, 00:20:12.16\00:20:15.59 Well, how come God saved this woman's son 00:20:15.62\00:20:18.17 and didn't save yours? 00:20:18.20\00:20:19.17 And because of my emotional, and mental state at the time, 00:20:19.18\00:20:23.27 I just went off the deep end. 00:20:23.30\00:20:24.90 I mean I turned my back on God for three months. 00:20:24.93\00:20:27.04 I didn't want to have anything to do Him. 00:20:27.07\00:20:28.67 I didn't want to read my Bible. 00:20:28.70\00:20:30.16 I didn't want to talk to Him. 00:20:30.19\00:20:31.34 I went by my sister in California, and I remember 00:20:31.37\00:20:34.59 at the time, I left my Bible home because I said, 00:20:34.62\00:20:37.53 I'm not even talking to God so I'm not even taking it with me. 00:20:37.56\00:20:40.30 And when I got there right on the side there by the bed 00:20:40.33\00:20:44.88 she had left me some gifts, and one of them was a Bible. 00:20:44.91\00:20:47.58 And I felt, Okay, Lord, I can't run from You, because I've left 00:20:47.61\00:20:51.10 Trinidad and come all the way to California. 00:20:51.13\00:20:52.75 I thought I left You there, and yet You are here willing to 00:20:52.78\00:20:55.62 meet with me, so let's talk. 00:20:55.65\00:20:57.34 And so for two weeks, every day when my sister would leave 00:20:57.37\00:21:01.84 for work, I would sit in my room, and I cried, 00:21:01.85\00:21:04.63 and I screamed, and I shouted at God. 00:21:04.66\00:21:06.73 I told Him I unfair He was and how hurt I was that He had done 00:21:06.76\00:21:10.54 this to me. 00:21:10.57\00:21:11.54 And this was like 13 years later, but things come back. 00:21:11.55\00:21:15.57 Satan will always get you at your weakest point. 00:21:15.60\00:21:18.20 So when that happened I just threw it all out, because I had 00:21:18.23\00:21:23.02 had stuff that I was holding inside, and I let it all out. 00:21:23.05\00:21:26.01 Then God began to talk to me and He strengthened me, 00:21:26.04\00:21:29.38 and gave me the hope that I needed. 00:21:29.41\00:21:31.92 He restored my joy. 00:21:31.95\00:21:33.26 That was something that I had to go through, but first I had 00:21:33.29\00:21:36.95 to tell God how I really felt. 00:21:36.98\00:21:38.40 And, you know, too many of us as Christians feel, well, 00:21:38.43\00:21:40.78 I can't really tell God how I feel. 00:21:40.81\00:21:43.02 Yes, you can. 00:21:43.03\00:21:44.01 It's not that He doesn't know, but we need to verbalize it. 00:21:44.04\00:21:46.36 We need to do it. 00:21:46.39\00:21:47.36 And as we get it out, then His Holy Spirit can minister to us, 00:21:47.37\00:21:52.06 and the healing can begin again. 00:21:52.09\00:21:54.08 Amen. 00:21:54.11\00:21:55.08 And this is something that I was thinking about. 00:21:55.11\00:21:56.89 When David lost his joy after the incident with Bathsheba, 00:21:56.92\00:22:02.83 and when Nathan had come to him and said, You're the man. 00:22:02.86\00:22:05.25 In Psalms 51 one of the precious things I think that 00:22:05.28\00:22:08.83 David said in his prayer of repentance was, restore to me 00:22:08.86\00:22:12.73 the joy of thy salvation. 00:22:12.76\00:22:14.12 That's right. 00:22:14.15\00:22:15.12 And so that's what God was doing with you was restoring 00:22:15.13\00:22:17.87 to you the joy of your salvation. 00:22:17.90\00:22:20.29 You know, it's so wonderful, Heather Dawn, as we're talking, 00:22:20.32\00:22:23.54 I'm looking at you, and I'm thinking we all really do 00:22:23.57\00:22:27.18 go through the same things. 00:22:27.21\00:22:28.58 Yes, we do. 00:22:28.61\00:22:29.58 We're all human, and praise the Lord, that He remembers, 00:22:29.59\00:22:32.59 earnestly remembers we are but dust. 00:22:32.62\00:22:34.83 and for the viewer who is out there who may have been on this 00:22:34.86\00:22:40.66 little roller coaster ride with the Lord. 00:22:40.69\00:22:42.80 Don't ever feel that God is just going to write you off when you 00:22:42.83\00:22:48.89 maybe do shake your fist in His face. 00:22:48.92\00:22:51.61 And when you're saying just talk about it openly with the Lord; 00:22:51.64\00:22:55.63 He already knows. 00:22:55.66\00:22:56.99 What He wants from us, and it's very cathartic to go to the Lord 00:22:57.02\00:23:01.51 and to speak these things. 00:23:01.54\00:23:02.77 Speak it, shout it, scream it; just let it out. 00:23:03.53\00:23:06.87 And God understands. 00:23:06.90\00:23:08.49 It's just like, you know, when you were talking about Jerry. 00:23:08.52\00:23:12.79 Yes. 00:23:12.82\00:23:13.79 When you were talking about your adopted son, Jerry, 00:23:13.80\00:23:15.83 I was thinking when you said to him, I wouldn't have missed this 00:23:15.86\00:23:20.33 for all the world, even if it meant having my natural born 00:23:20.36\00:23:24.68 son back. 00:23:24.71\00:23:25.68 I was thinking here God adopts us, and He will say to us, 00:23:25.69\00:23:30.90 I wouldn't have saved my own natural son, which is Jesus 00:23:30.93\00:23:37.09 Christ, to miss out on having you. 00:23:37.12\00:23:40.21 And even though we are all alike, and we all go through 00:23:40.24\00:23:43.93 like Jerry is going through his teen years and testing his 00:23:43.96\00:23:48.89 wings a little bit, and maybe rebellious occasionally, 00:23:48.92\00:23:51.57 we do this with the Lord, but that doesn't mean 00:23:51.60\00:23:54.00 He quits loving us. 00:23:54.03\00:23:55.01 So if you were going to sum up how not to let someone 00:23:55.04\00:24:00.19 steal your joy, what steps can we leave our viewers with? 00:24:00.22\00:24:05.14 Well, the first thing that I would say to the viewers is 00:24:05.17\00:24:08.33 make a choice. 00:24:08.36\00:24:09.85 I had to come to the point in my life where I said no matter 00:24:09.88\00:24:14.35 what happens, I am determined to see Jesus when He comes. 00:24:14.38\00:24:18.93 Now I knew that I couldn't do that by my own strength. 00:24:18.96\00:24:21.62 But I had to make that choice in my mind. 00:24:21.65\00:24:24.49 I had to realize that God and I have a contract. 00:24:24.52\00:24:27.61 Amen. 00:24:27.64\00:24:28.61 And it was written by His blood. 00:24:28.62\00:24:30.74 Amen. 00:24:30.77\00:24:31.74 And He is the one who is going to give me the staying power 00:24:31.75\00:24:33.83 to keep my side of it, but yet I still have to realize that 00:24:33.86\00:24:37.43 I've got to make that. 00:24:37.44\00:24:38.59 And so I did that first, many years ago after my son died. 00:24:38.62\00:24:42.74 So I chose God above everything else. 00:24:42.77\00:24:45.54 So no matter what happens I keep remembering, okay, 00:24:45.55\00:24:48.91 but I chose God and He's going to help me through this. 00:24:48.94\00:24:51.42 The second one, I would say to the viewers is, 00:24:51.45\00:24:54.88 don't lose hope. 00:24:54.89\00:24:55.86 There is always hope. 00:24:55.87\00:24:57.63 Amen. 00:24:57.66\00:24:58.63 Don't give up. 00:24:58.64\00:24:59.61 God will stay there with you. 00:24:59.62\00:25:01.62 It doesn't matter how dark the night, how big the storm. 00:25:01.65\00:25:05.20 When the disciples were in the boat, and the boat was being 00:25:05.23\00:25:07.95 shaken, and Christ was sleeping. 00:25:07.98\00:25:11.21 They didn't even know where He was. 00:25:11.24\00:25:12.94 Why didn't He get up? 00:25:12.97\00:25:13.94 Why didn't He do something? 00:25:13.95\00:25:15.19 That story has taught me that no matter what, even though 00:25:15.22\00:25:18.87 God may be silent, He is still present. 00:25:18.90\00:25:21.55 Amen. 00:25:21.58\00:25:22.55 He's never absent. 00:25:22.56\00:25:23.53 He was right there in the boat, and He's in my boat. 00:25:23.54\00:25:26.34 So choose to have God in your boat so that even though 00:25:26.37\00:25:29.48 the storm gets rough, and even though sometimes you can't hear 00:25:29.51\00:25:32.14 from Him, and you want to get a word from Him, and it seems 00:25:32.17\00:25:35.66 as though, God, why are you silent? 00:25:35.69\00:25:37.36 He may be silent, but He is never absent. 00:25:37.39\00:25:40.25 Amen. 00:25:40.28\00:25:41.25 So those are the two things that I would say to the viewers. 00:25:41.26\00:25:43.84 Hold onto God because in this world there is nothing worth 00:25:43.87\00:25:47.10 holding onto. 00:25:47.13\00:25:48.10 That's right. 00:25:48.11\00:25:49.08 When you think about you've got this covenant agreement 00:25:49.09\00:25:54.13 with the Lord, this contract, and yet even as a pastor's wife, 00:25:54.16\00:25:58.30 there was a time that you then, thirteen years later, went 00:25:58.33\00:26:04.00 through this depression. 00:26:04.03\00:26:05.75 And I'm guessing, and I don't think we've got time to discuss 00:26:05.78\00:26:09.54 it today, so we're going to invite Heather Dawn Small 00:26:09.57\00:26:11.92 to come back. 00:26:11.95\00:26:12.92 I am guessing there are things that led up to this 00:26:12.93\00:26:18.23 state of depression. 00:26:18.26\00:26:19.23 Oh, Yes! 00:26:19.25\00:26:20.22 Some contributing factors that you may have even done yourself. 00:26:20.23\00:26:23.03 Oh, definitely. 00:26:23.06\00:26:24.03 Okay. 00:26:24.04\00:26:25.01 So we're going to want you to come back and talk to us about 00:26:25.02\00:26:29.07 how here you're on a joy walk, and yet you allowed 00:26:29.10\00:26:33.49 circumstances to close in on you. 00:26:33.52\00:26:37.61 You got into that depressive state and God restored your joy. 00:26:37.64\00:26:41.70 That's right; He did. 00:26:41.73\00:26:42.70 And you are a joyful person. 00:26:42.71\00:26:44.43 I certainly am because I'm saved. 00:26:44.46\00:26:46.81 Amen! 00:26:46.84\00:26:47.81 That's what gives you that joy; knowing that you are saved. 00:26:47.83\00:26:51.10 Amen, amen. 00:26:51.13\00:26:52.47 Well, Heather Dawn, I thank you so much for being with us today. 00:26:52.50\00:26:56.39 I know that you have a great ministry for the 00:26:56.42\00:27:00.31 General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists. 00:27:00.34\00:27:03.15 And as Director of Women's Ministries we do want you to 00:27:03.18\00:27:07.00 come back and be with us again, and share some more of your 00:27:07.03\00:27:10.10 story, and some of the things that you're sharing 00:27:10.13\00:27:11.93 around the world. 00:27:11.96\00:27:12.93 I hope for you that you will remember Nehemiah 8:10, 00:27:12.94\00:27:16.61 that the joy of the Lord is your strength. 00:27:16.64\00:27:19.51 And remember also in Galatians 6:22, that the fruit of the 00:27:19.54\00:27:24.34 Spirit, (You can't really divide it up. 00:27:24.37\00:27:26.18 It's all one part of a single fruit.), is love, joy, and peace 00:27:26.21\00:27:31.13 that you can experience on the inside. 00:27:31.16\00:27:33.38 Patience, kindness, and goodness that you can express 00:27:33.41\00:27:36.97 toward others. 00:27:37.00\00:27:37.97 That's how the Holy Spirit works that fruit out toward others, 00:27:37.98\00:27:41.35 and faithfulness, humility, and self control that you can 00:27:41.38\00:27:46.02 express toward God. 00:27:46.05\00:27:47.69 Now may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of the 00:27:47.72\00:27:51.05 Father, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you. 00:27:51.08\00:27:54.89 Thank you for joining us. 00:27:54.92\00:27:56.64